Original subtitles

The bedroom's Just lovely, horace.

I think we ought to take it.

Are these the people That are subletting

The apartment?

Yes. That's mr. And Mrs. Douglas.

He's an attorney. Do you know him?

No, but I'd like to know her.

Horace!

I think we'll take it.

Well, splendid... But there are

A couple of conditions.

Now, the furniture

Doesn't go with the place.

What's the other condition?

You must take care of the farm.

The farm?

Would you care to step out

Into the field?

What's that? A Watermelon with jaundice?

It's a squash.

Oh! I beg your...

What on earth is this?

Oh, that...

Why, it's a scarecrow.

In a scaparelli?

Mr. Douglas was Worried about crows.

Should've been Worried about squirrels.

They'd probably Bury a nut like him.

Horace!

Well, if he wanted a farm,

He should've bought one.

He did.

Oscar: ♪ green acres Is the place to be ♪

♪ farm livin' is The life for me ♪

♪ land spreadin' Out so far and wide ♪

♪ keep manhattan, just Give me that countryside ♪

Lisa: ♪ new york is Where I'd rather stay ♪

♪ I get allergic smelling hay ♪

♪ I just adore a Penthouse view ♪

♪ darling I love you, But give me park avenue ♪

♪ the chores ♪

♪ the stores ♪

♪ fresh air ♪

♪ times square ♪

♪ you are my wife ♪

♪ good-bye, city life ♪

♪ green acres, we are there ♪

Captioning made possible By mgm home entertainment

Ooh! Careful, eb! There ain't no market

For banged-up bathtubs.

Say, mr. Haney, doesn't This go with the place?

I sold douglas a farm house

Unfurnished.

It sure is.

What you going to Do with all this stuff?

Sell it.

You got somebody to buy it?

I will have, just as soon as

Mr. Douglas shows up.

You got any idear when he will?

I don't know. I hear he

And his wife are staying

At the shady rest hotel

For the past 3 days.

Come on. Let's see If I left anything.

I doubt it.

Isn't it beautiful?

Let's go back to new york.

We're not going Back to new york.

This is our home.

Aren't you going to get out?

No, thanks.

Lisa...

We've been driving Out here for 3 days.

You've got to get out Of the car sometime.

Tomorrow.

Today.

Don't you want to see What the inside looks like?

Give me a couple of more days

To get used to the outside.

You, too.

That's where You're going to live.

Arf! Arf! Arf!

Oh, mr. Douglas.

Hi.

Well, how are you, mr. Douglas?

Fine, just fine. Lisa...

This is mr. Haney.

He's the man who Sold me the farm.

Why, mr. Haney, how...

Well, now, wait a Minute, mrs. Douglas,

Your husband was cold sober When he bought this place.

Should I take this?

That belongs to the new owners.

We was just cleaning Out the place.

Anybody in the city

Ever do anything Like that for you?

My maid.

Oh, mr. And mrs. Douglas...

This here is eb. He Used to work for me.

Howdy.

Mr. Douglas...

You wouldn't be needing A hired hand, would you?

No, no, I won't. I'm... I'm planning

On farming this place myself.

You ever done any farming?

Oh, a little.

Darling, don't be so modest.

My husband had

The biggest squash On park avenue.

Gee!

Well, I gotta be running along.

I hope you like the Place, mrs. Douglas.

Oh, uh, by the way, mr. Douglas,

Uh, if you need Anything for the house...

I won't.

You might.

Mr. Douglas, are you sure

You don't need a hired hand?

No, I won't.

Ok. But if you change your mind,

I'll be around.

My dear...

Now, wait a second.

We're not going in!

Darling, this is the start

Of a whole new life for us.

Sort of a second honeymoo-o-n.

Wouldn't it be Easier if I walked?

No, I'm going to carry you.

You can't open it.

No.

Why don't we come Back another time...

Like next year?

Don't worry. We'll get in.

Are we always going to come

In the house this way?

No. I'll fix the front door.

There, now.

Won't you help me Climb back outside?

Lisa!

Oliver, did you really see

This house when you bought it?

Well, of course.

In the daytime? Yes!

And you bought it?

Lisa, I wanted this farm.

I had to have it.

Haven't you ever seen a Dress you just had to have,

Although it was too small And the style was not right,

You bought it anyway?

Yes, but I never Bought a dress like this.

Oliver: honey...

You know this house Is over 100 years old.

Just think what We can do with this.

I am thinking.

Well, it's going to Look a lot better

Once we get our Furniture in here.

We'll put the couch right here.

And then in the winter,

You and I can sit on the couch.

We can gaze into the fireplace.

Listening to the crackling

Of the log.

And the falling of the bricks.

Oh, I can fix this With a little glue.

I'll say one thing For this house.

It has a good-sized closet.

Oh, that's the bedroom.

Well, how are we going to get

The king-sized bed in there?

We'll build bunk beds.

I'll fix it... Whatever it is.

Oliver, that wallpaper.

Don't worry. We'll Get new wallpaper.

Look at that view.

Can you imagine Being able to sit

In your own living room And see a view like that?

I'll fix it!

What do you see

From this side of the room?

Look at that! Solid plaster!

So is the ceiling.

I'll fix it!

This is the bathroom.

Well, where is the Bathtub and the sink?

Oliver, how could you Buy a house without seeing

If it had a bathtub And a sink in here?

Oh, I'm not interested In the house.

I'm interested in the farm.

What's that?

The shower!

I'll get a curtain for it.

Wait until you see this.

This is the most important room

In the house.

I'll fix it.

Well, at least this is

A good-sized bedroom.

Bedroom? This is the kitchen.

But you said it was the most

Important room in the house.

In a farmhouse,

The kitchen is the Most important room.

Look!

This cupboard space!

Well, we'll have To paint the shelves

And line them with paper.

It's already lined.

I told you this place was More than 100 years old.

Oh, oliver!

Dear, wait until Our stuff gets here.

We'll put the Refrigerator there,

The stove there, The dishwasher there,

Oliver, do you mind

If I ask you a question?

Of course! This Is your house, too.

Where are the Electrical outlets?

Electrical outlets?

They're always at the...

Yeah, you'll find the...

There aren't any,

And I haven't seen any lights.

This house doesn't Have any electricity.

Of course it has electricity.

How did mr. Haney shave?

Electricity's no problem.

I'll just telephone The light company.

How? Well, the phone!

What phone?

On the telephone. There's...

I'll take care of it.

No phone, no electricity,

No bathtub, no sink, nothing!

I'm going to get All those things.

Get the phone first.

Then you can call Me in new york.

Lisa!

You promised you'd Try it out for 6 months.

Did I? Yes.

And a promise is a promise.

All right, if I promised

I'd stay for 6 Weeks, then I'll stay.

No! 6 months!

Dear, it won't Always look like this.

We'll fix it up. Paint the walls.

Varnish the floors.

Look at that floor.

That's solid oak!

Darling!

You all right?

You should see the Size of this cellar!

Go ahead, pick one, sam.

Joe, I told you I Ain't interested

In getting in on your fool pool.

I'd like to get into Your fool pool, joe.

Cost you a quarter.

I ain't got one.

No quarter, no pick.

Hey, charlie...

Would you advance me a quarter

On my next week's allowance?

I'd like to get into Joe's fool pool.

Stop calling it a fool pool.

Would you like to Take one, charlie?

Uh, what's it for?

There's 12 numbers in my hat,

Each corresponding With the number of days

I figure the douglases Will stay on their farm

Before they go back to new york.

Now, the one that Picks the number closest

To the day they Leave wins $3.00.

Who's guaranteeing the $3.00?

I am. Ain't interested.

Well, you're only Risking a quarter

To win $3.00.

There's only 4 tickets left,

And they're all good ones.

Well, ok.

Where's my quarter?

I'll pay you when I've won the $3.00.

Oh, charlie...

Under those conditions, I'll take one, too.

Floyd!

I got 5.

I got 12. That Looks pretty good.

That mr. Douglas looks Like a sticker to me.

You ain't seen mrs. Douglas.

She won't stay in That broken-down

Haney place more than one day.

Good morning, gentlemen.

I don't believe You've met my wife.

Mr. Drucker, this Is mrs. Douglas.

How do you do, mr...

Mr. Drucker.

And, uh, this is mr. Pratt.

He's the engineer Of that little train

That took us out to shady rest.

I am delighted to Meet you, mr. Pratt.

It's such a quaint little train.

How do you do?

This is mr. Smoot.

Get out of my pickle barrel!

You know mr. Carson.

Of course.

Mornin'.

Oh! You dropped something.

Don't pick them up, or It'll cost you a quarter!

Floyd!

Well, that's what it Costs to get in the pool.

The pool!

Oh, I want to get in on it. Yes!

I want 2 tickets. One For mrs. Douglas.

No, no.

No, I insist.

I want to be part of everything

You fellas do. We're part

Of the community now.

How long you figuring On being part of it?

Oh, a long time.

12 looks better and better.

What kind of a pool is this?

Well, it's a...

Tell mrs. Douglas.

Well...

It's a how long are You going to stay

At the haney place pool

You mean, you fellas

Are betting on the Number of years

We're going to live here?

Days.

Who's got one?

Me.

You win.

Oh, she's joking.

Uh, mr. Drucker,

There are a few things

That, uh, that we Really do need.

Well, I'll be glad to help you.

Thank you.

Do you know how we Can get electricity?

Oh, sure, I'm a representative

For the county power And light company.

You just fill out This application.

How long will it take?

Oh, never took anybody More than 5 minutes.

I mean to get electricity.

Well, I'll stamp the Application rush,

And you ought to Have it in 8 months.

Both: 8 months?!

What are we going To do for light?

Don't you get enough

Through them holes in the roof?

I mean at night.

Oh, I can make you a good price

On a kerosene lamp.

Oh, hey, look at That. A kerosene...

See? The real Old-fashioned way, huh?

Aha! Say, I'll bet you Sell a lot of those.

No. We all got electricity.

Ahem. Yes.

Well, now, something we Do really need right away.

A bathtub and a sink.

Don't you like the ones That are there now?

There aren't any there now.

That haney. Well, it Could've been worse.

He could've taken The kitchen sink, too.

He did.

Haney had no right to do that.

You know what you Ought to do, mr. Douglas?

You ought to get yourself A good lawyer and sue him.

Now, there's will Hoyt up in pixley...

I am a lawyer, and I Can handle mr. Haney.

He sold you the Place, didn't he?

Yes!

You'd better get will hoyt.

Don't you worry about me!

All I've got to do Is find mr. Haney.

Mr. Haney...

Oh, hi, mr. Douglas.

I've been looking for you.

Well, I'm right here.

How do you like the House, mrs. Douglas?

Well, I think it's...

I knew you would.

Mr. Haney!

Hey, there's one thing I forgot to tell you.

There's a great big cellar Underneath the house

If you can find a Way to get down to it.

He found the way.

Mr. Haney...

Oh! And another thing...

When you open the kitchen door,

Be sure to hold onto It, or else the knob

Comes through into the parlor.

I know. I know.

Just want to keep Everything above board.

Mr. Haney, what happened

To the bathtub and the sink?

Yes. They were in the house

When I bought it, weren't they?

Uh, yes, and there Was a kitchen sink, too.

Uh-huh. And they Are not there now.

Now, where are they?

They're on the truck.

Those are mine!

Well, you can have them.

Well...

Fer $25.

If they were in the house

When I bought it, They belong to me!

Did you read your bill of sale?

I did!

All it said was I Sold you a house.

And that's what You got... A house.

Lisa, no!

I'll see you around.

Uh...

Wait a second. I'll give you $15.

No. 25.

They're not worth 25.

Well, they are if you need them.

All right. 25.

In advance.

Just want to keep Everything above board.

Oh, sure, sure.

Thank you.

Now, help me carry Them in, will you?

Oh, yeah. That'll Cost you $1.00.

What for?

Delivery charge.

Never mind! I'll Take them in myself!

There we are.

Ooh, ooh! Darling...

Are you all right?

Oh, I'm fine. Fine, fine.

Oh! This is a great occasion.

Putting in my first sink.

You're very handy, dear.

But I think you should've put

The bathtub in first,

And then the sink.

Have you ever done any plumbing?

Not recently.

Then, uh... Please...

Eb: oh, hi, mr. Douglas,

Mrs. Douglas.

Boy! You sure got a pretty view

Of the outside from in here.

I thought you'd left.

I just thought

I'd see if you changed your mind

About needing a hired hand.

No. I'm afraid not.

I put the sink in by myself.

Show him your bump.

You going to leave The bathtub out here?

No. I'm going to Put that in now.

Uh, then you're going to Have to take out the sink.

Why?

That's the only way You can get the tub in.

So, I made a little mistake.

Would you like me To give you a hand?

No, look, eb, I want To do this myself.

Every nail and every Board, with my own hands.

Are you sure you Don't want to hire me?

No!

Well, I'll help you anyway.

I'd appreciate it.

There you are, mr. Douglas.

Fine, fine. Lisa!

Yes, darling?

Hey, look here, huh?

Come on. You can Take a hot bath now.

I don't want a bath.

Oh, you've got To take a hot bath.

Sure. It relaxes you.

Hot bath? Yeah.

You got a heater? No.

Then, how you going To heat the water?

Well, we'll, uh...

Oh, well, how did Mr. Haney heat his?

In the stove.

Aha. So, we'll Heat it in the stove.

What stove?

Oh, that's right.

There isn't any.

Well, now, I wonder where

I could get a stove?

Got a good $35 one on the truck.

You put the wood right in here.

Huh? You light it.

You put the water In the reservoir.

I chopped some wood For you, mr. Douglas.

Oh, good. Put it Over there, will you?

Oh, careful!

I don't want the wood Down in the cellar.

Here, put it back here.

You still don't Want to hire me, huh?

No. I want to do Everything myself.

For a feller who isn't hired,

I sure am doing a lot of work.

Dear, would you mind Getting me some water?

There's a pump On the back porch.

Now, is there anything To light this with?

I suppose you heard About mr. Lincoln's talk.

Oliver!

I'll be right there!

What's the matter?

I don't seem to be able to get

Any water out of it.

You're not pumping hard enough.

You're not going to get Any water from that pump.

Not unless you prime it.

What do you have To prime it with?

Water.

Where do you get The water to prime it?

There's a pump

A couple of miles down the road.

Oh, well, I'll get in the car,

And I'll go down and get some.

Isn't worth it. Why not?

That pump needs priming, too.

Well, where do you get The water to prime that pump

To get the water To prime this pump?

Oh, about 6 miles down the road.

Does that pump Need priming, too?

No. You sure?

I'm positive. That's a creek.

Well, would you go And get us some water?

Well, gee, mr. Douglas, It's a long trip,

And, well, golly...

All right, you're hired!

Thanks!

Now, about my vacations...

Get the water!

Oh, darling, forget The whole thing.

No, no. I'm going to Have you in a nice,

Hot bath before you can say

Do you smell smoke?

Oh! The stove! Oh!

Oliver, oliver, where are you?

I-I'm over here!

Where? I can't see you!

Oh!

Lisa!

Where are you?

Oliver, you were right.

This is a big cellar.

You sure you got to go Back to new york today?

The sooner, the better.

You'd be doing me a big favor

If you could stay Around a few more days.

I got 4 in the pool.

I'm sorry, mrs. Bradley.

But I had it...

In places I never had it before.

Oh, my...

This is beautiful.

Why, you can have it.

Ha ha! Where would I wear something

Like this around here?

Even if I could get into it.

That's exactly my point.

Yeah. I know just how you feel

About living in the country.

It's a... Ahem... Difficult adjustment

For us city girls.

Are you from the city?

Oh, can't you tell?

Well, of course I've Lived in the country

For a long while.

Well, it, uh... You Know something?

My husband was a lot like yours.

He always wanted to own a hotel

In a small town.

So, I, uh, just Gave up my career

In show business, And moved here.

Quiet.

She left me, too.

You don't hear me whining.

Let her go back to new york.

We're going to stay right here.

We'll be all right.

Of course, I'm Going to miss her.

Are you?

Now, what kind of a Stupid question is that?

Lisa...

I thought you were on Your way back to new york.

I was.

What made you change your mind?

Mrs. Bradley.

Do you know, she Was a city girl,

And she gave up her Career in show business

To move out here With her husband.

How could you tell mrs. Douglas

A story like that?

It's true.

You didn't come from the city.

What do you call pixley?

It ain't exactly new york.

And telling her you gave up

A career in show business.

I did.

Taking tickets At the pixley bijou

Ain't show business.

An awful lot of the fellows

Used to wink at me.

That ain't going to work, kate.

Mrs. Douglas ain't going to fall

For a phony story like that.

Darling.

Lisa...

Our first night in Our own farm house.

Don't worry. I'll find something

For us to sleep on.

Mr. Haney!

Mr. Haney!

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