All language subtitles for George and Mildred s04e03 You Must have Showers

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,780 --> 00:00:06,280 Thank you. 2 00:00:35,930 --> 00:00:36,930 Yeah. 3 00:00:37,490 --> 00:00:39,030 Yeah, I think it quite suit me. 4 00:00:39,810 --> 00:00:41,210 Makes me look so distinguished. 5 00:00:41,730 --> 00:00:42,730 Bit like Jimmy Hill. 6 00:00:43,570 --> 00:00:45,790 George, have you seen my book of exercises? 7 00:00:46,130 --> 00:00:49,450 Oh, no, no, no. Hey, Mildred, give me an honest answer. Does it suit me? 8 00:00:49,810 --> 00:00:50,810 Does what suit you? 9 00:00:50,990 --> 00:00:51,990 Well, the beard. 10 00:00:52,290 --> 00:00:53,290 What beard? 11 00:00:53,630 --> 00:00:55,870 Oh, it's silly, isn't it? 12 00:00:56,670 --> 00:00:59,230 You have to look in the mirror to see it properly. See, that's right. 13 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:02,400 Come on, stand upright. 14 00:01:02,780 --> 00:01:04,040 Oh, that's good coming from you. 15 00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:07,740 Right, now then, what do you think? 16 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:09,580 It doesn't suit me, George. 17 00:01:09,940 --> 00:01:12,420 Not you, me. I'm thinking of growing a beard. 18 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:13,680 Oh, that's a good idea. 19 00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:15,240 Give me something to get a hold of. 20 00:01:17,140 --> 00:01:18,180 I've changed my mind. 21 00:01:18,460 --> 00:01:21,600 Oh, look, George, it took you ten years to grow a moustache. 22 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:23,660 For the first two, I thought it was a rash. 23 00:01:25,530 --> 00:01:27,390 It's been often thought I look like Burt Reynolds. 24 00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:28,189 Oh, yeah? 25 00:01:28,190 --> 00:01:29,190 Who thought that? 26 00:01:29,370 --> 00:01:32,290 Yeah, well, I did, actually. What are you looking for? 27 00:01:32,550 --> 00:01:35,070 My book, you know, for my keep thick glasses. 28 00:01:35,270 --> 00:01:36,630 Oh, it's dark, all that exercising. 29 00:01:36,850 --> 00:01:40,890 Look, George, you have to exercise every part of the body regularly. 30 00:01:41,350 --> 00:01:42,810 Otherwise, it won't stay firm. 31 00:01:47,650 --> 00:01:50,050 Um, any questions? 32 00:01:51,710 --> 00:01:53,650 Hey, I'll get exercise. I've got me bike. 33 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:57,940 motorbike. Yeah, well, I have to push it a lot. 34 00:01:58,140 --> 00:02:02,880 Yeah, well, at least I can touch my toes, George, which is more than you can 35 00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:07,660 I can touch your toes if I want to, but I don't. Last time you went all frisky. 36 00:02:08,180 --> 00:02:11,160 I remember what happened. 37 00:02:11,420 --> 00:02:13,600 Yeah, so do I. Pyjama buttons popping off like bullets. 38 00:02:15,020 --> 00:02:17,020 I linked it to Anne next door. 39 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:19,140 What? My Keep Fit book. 40 00:02:24,330 --> 00:02:25,330 Right, all right. 41 00:02:25,910 --> 00:02:26,910 Oh. 42 00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:31,450 Good morning. 43 00:02:31,850 --> 00:02:32,850 Mrs Roper. 44 00:02:33,350 --> 00:02:35,590 Oh, I hope I'm not interrupting anything. 45 00:02:35,870 --> 00:02:38,330 No, I had to climb down the ladder to answer the front door anyway. 46 00:02:38,610 --> 00:02:39,609 Oh, good. 47 00:02:39,610 --> 00:02:41,890 I'm just sticking ceiling tiles in the kitchen. 48 00:02:42,170 --> 00:02:43,210 Ah, on the ceiling. 49 00:02:43,790 --> 00:02:44,790 It seemed best. 50 00:02:46,530 --> 00:02:48,210 Could I have a word with Anne? 51 00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:49,710 Yes, of course. 52 00:02:49,850 --> 00:02:51,130 Would you like to go to the bathroom? 53 00:02:51,730 --> 00:02:52,930 Not at the moment, no. 54 00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:55,700 Well, she's up there bathing the baby. 55 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:57,700 Oh! Oh, yes. 56 00:02:58,120 --> 00:02:59,120 Lovely. 57 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:04,860 Is this Billy Button where he was joined to you? 58 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:07,920 Yes. It doesn't look long enough. 59 00:03:08,260 --> 00:03:10,340 Oh. Well, it was a bit longer. 60 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:13,180 Is everyone decent? 61 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:14,880 Oh, hello, Mildred. Come on in. 62 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:19,940 I called in to see the... Oh, look at that little thing. 63 00:03:20,460 --> 00:03:23,020 Which little thing? Oh, isn't he sweet? 64 00:03:27,010 --> 00:03:28,970 Who's got a fat little tummy there? 65 00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:32,330 I think I'll have my bath later. 66 00:03:32,930 --> 00:03:39,010 He doesn't like getting undressed in front of women. 67 00:03:39,250 --> 00:03:40,530 No, George is the same. 68 00:03:41,910 --> 00:03:42,910 Actually, 69 00:03:45,090 --> 00:03:46,110 I was going to pop in on you later. 70 00:03:46,390 --> 00:03:49,050 Return the Keep Fit book. Oh, that's what I call Roundabout. 71 00:03:49,370 --> 00:03:51,650 It's mainly exercise seven. 72 00:03:52,140 --> 00:03:54,920 If I don't get it in the right order, I end up looking like Spaghetti Junction. 73 00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:57,700 I tried that and split my tie. 74 00:03:57,920 --> 00:03:58,920 Oh, yes. 75 00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:02,240 Oh, isn't it a lovely bathroom? 76 00:04:02,980 --> 00:04:05,420 Haven't you seen it before? No, no, I haven't. 77 00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:08,760 Oh, you've got a proper shower as well. 78 00:04:08,980 --> 00:04:10,140 All tiled. 79 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:11,480 May I? 80 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:13,040 Have you got time? 81 00:04:13,540 --> 00:04:14,540 Have a look. 82 00:04:16,019 --> 00:04:17,920 Geoffrey installed it when we first moved in. 83 00:04:18,180 --> 00:04:19,180 Oh, it's lovely. 84 00:04:20,220 --> 00:04:21,940 Oh, you can almost get two people in here. 85 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:23,400 Yes, you can. 86 00:04:27,280 --> 00:04:29,800 Place these pictures of Raquel Welsh in order. 87 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:31,980 In order to what? 88 00:04:35,140 --> 00:04:38,080 What are you laughing at? I just made a joke, really. 89 00:04:38,620 --> 00:04:39,620 No. 90 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:40,780 What was it? 91 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:43,860 Well, it says here, place these pictures of Raquel Welsh in order, see? 92 00:04:44,140 --> 00:04:45,140 In order to what? 93 00:04:48,559 --> 00:04:50,560 You baffle me sometimes, George. 94 00:04:51,060 --> 00:04:52,060 Here, listen. 95 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:55,100 Mr. Formile is very good with his hands. 96 00:04:55,460 --> 00:04:56,480 Why, what's he been doing to you? 97 00:04:57,460 --> 00:05:02,620 He has fitted a shower, I mean a fully tiled shower, in their bathroom. 98 00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:06,380 And just like the one I have now decided I've always wanted. 99 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:08,400 Oh, no, I'm not a do -it -yourself man. 100 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:10,080 No, I'm not. 101 00:05:11,630 --> 00:05:13,390 Anyway, I don't like showers. You can't read the paper. 102 00:05:13,610 --> 00:05:14,609 Oh, George. 103 00:05:14,610 --> 00:05:18,790 I mean, look, just think of it. You get up in the morning, you step in. You have 104 00:05:18,790 --> 00:05:21,490 a brisk, tingling fresh cold shower. 105 00:05:22,450 --> 00:05:24,870 You're like brushing your teeth all over. 106 00:05:25,110 --> 00:05:27,090 One thing I do not need is a cold shower. 107 00:05:27,310 --> 00:05:28,310 I'll go along with that. 108 00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:34,110 You'll never satisfy, Mildred. You've got a fancy bath matching sink and bog. 109 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:41,020 When I was a lad, all we had was a tin bath, that's all. 110 00:05:41,860 --> 00:05:43,680 I know, you've still got it in the garage. 111 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:48,040 We used to take it off the backyard wall, bang it on the bottom to get rid 112 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:49,040 the spiders. 113 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:53,940 Drag it in front of the fire, big block of carbolic, pipe cleaners, get rid of 114 00:05:53,940 --> 00:05:54,940 the wax. 115 00:05:56,740 --> 00:05:59,600 Seven kids, one after the other, all using the same water. 116 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,320 Oh, they were the good days. 117 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:02,980 No, they weren't. I was always last. 118 00:06:03,540 --> 00:06:04,540 George, 119 00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:09,220 are you going to... this shower for me, or are you not? 120 00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:12,760 Well, I can't. Well, all right, then. Then you can go round to one of the 121 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:15,920 builders, and who can do it for you? And get the estimates tomorrow. 122 00:06:16,140 --> 00:06:19,340 Oh, all right. I'll tell you what. What? Well, we've got a watering can. 123 00:06:19,620 --> 00:06:22,400 Yeah? Well, next time you want a bath, I'll come upstairs and pour it all over 124 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:23,400 you. You will not. 125 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:25,720 That's it. 126 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:27,540 A very last one. 127 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:31,160 Oh, quite. 128 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:34,660 Isn't that a superb job? 129 00:06:36,060 --> 00:06:38,640 Yes. You say the nicest things. 130 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:42,140 Oh, I can see why you were working so fast. You're running out of glue. Yes, I 131 00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:44,360 was, actually. Had to keep thinning it down with tap water. 132 00:06:44,580 --> 00:06:46,200 So, smells strong enough. 133 00:06:50,140 --> 00:06:55,860 And one and two. 134 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:58,440 And one and two. 135 00:06:58,720 --> 00:06:59,980 Is that you, George? 136 00:07:00,260 --> 00:07:01,260 Yes, Mary. 137 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:02,399 Hi, Amy. 138 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:03,400 Hello. 139 00:07:03,620 --> 00:07:08,120 Right. And one and... and two, and three, and four, and one, and two. Hey, 140 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:09,380 want to be careful, you'll be taking off. 141 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:10,640 Oh. 142 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:12,160 Did you get the estimate? 143 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:14,080 What, yeah, I went round a few shops during my lunch break. 144 00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:17,200 You should see their faces turn white when I walk in in this uniform. 145 00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:20,140 Yes, George. There you are. There we are. 146 00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:23,000 Right, now, ooh, let's have a look at this lot. 147 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:30,380 Now, to fitting shower cubicle, plumbing, tiling, and making good... 148 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:32,660 Yep, plus 800 VAT. 149 00:07:36,530 --> 00:07:37,550 Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. 150 00:07:39,630 --> 00:07:40,630 Anyway, 151 00:07:40,750 --> 00:07:41,729 we can't afford them. 152 00:07:41,730 --> 00:07:46,150 Well, no, George, but perhaps the second one will be... 412. 153 00:07:46,810 --> 00:07:48,770 Yeah, the last one's a bit cheaper. 154 00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:53,290 Well, I mean, even so, we can't afford... 57 pounds 20. 155 00:07:55,070 --> 00:07:56,590 Transworld Intercontinental Plumbing. 156 00:07:58,390 --> 00:08:00,510 Why is it so cheap, George? 157 00:08:00,870 --> 00:08:04,150 Well, it's a special price, Mildred, on account of being a friend of mine. Oh, 158 00:08:04,190 --> 00:08:06,450 no. All right, Jerry, you can come in now. 159 00:08:07,050 --> 00:08:08,050 Evening, Mrs. Dahl. 160 00:08:08,870 --> 00:08:11,430 Always a pleasure to see your happy, welcoming smile. 161 00:08:11,750 --> 00:08:14,810 Get him out of here! We can't afford anyone else. 162 00:08:15,030 --> 00:08:15,969 Hey, Jerry. 163 00:08:15,970 --> 00:08:17,710 Jerry, now, look, come and sit down. 164 00:08:19,150 --> 00:08:23,530 You are Transworld Intercontinental Plumbing? 165 00:08:23,790 --> 00:08:26,170 Well, me and young Ranji, actually. 166 00:08:26,990 --> 00:08:29,390 But you can't have him. Oh, no, he's got a contract. 167 00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:31,330 Fit a door handle in New Malden. 168 00:08:34,250 --> 00:08:37,809 Do you want a cup of tea? Oh, Tom, no ice, just a splash of soda. 169 00:08:38,030 --> 00:08:44,930 I don't want to waste your time, Mrs R, but what is time to you young 170 00:08:44,930 --> 00:08:45,930 people, eh? 171 00:08:46,230 --> 00:08:47,230 Have a look at that, eh? 172 00:08:47,470 --> 00:08:54,330 I could do you a nice Hollywood -style shower, as seen in Psycho, or... You're 173 00:08:54,330 --> 00:08:56,030 the one that put our letterbox in. 174 00:08:56,460 --> 00:08:57,460 Back to front? Yes. 175 00:08:58,280 --> 00:08:59,259 Clerical error, that. 176 00:08:59,260 --> 00:09:02,560 Yes. The postman had to come into the hall to push a letter through. 177 00:09:04,540 --> 00:09:08,500 Or there's this one, identical to the one I fitted in Glenda Jackson's 178 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:10,880 Oh, yes. Well, I mean, the pictures are very nice, but... 179 00:09:12,190 --> 00:09:13,190 Glenda Jackson? 180 00:09:13,910 --> 00:09:14,910 Whoops. 181 00:09:15,030 --> 00:09:16,450 I've broken the cardinal rule. 182 00:09:16,830 --> 00:09:21,070 I don't usually disclose the identity of my clients, so, George, you mustn't 183 00:09:21,070 --> 00:09:21,629 tell her. 184 00:09:21,630 --> 00:09:22,810 Oh, you can rely on us, Gerry. 185 00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:26,290 Are you telling me you can fix this for £57 .20? 186 00:09:26,830 --> 00:09:28,990 Absolutely. Plus extras, of course. 187 00:09:29,470 --> 00:09:30,470 What extras? 188 00:09:30,730 --> 00:09:33,790 Well, you'll want a shower head and a knob to turn it on and off, won't you? 189 00:09:34,130 --> 00:09:35,710 How much the lot? 190 00:09:35,990 --> 00:09:37,090 Ah, well, let's see now. 191 00:09:38,110 --> 00:09:39,110 Time again, George. 192 00:09:42,660 --> 00:09:48,140 There'll be a 20 -brake horsepower to the gallon, allowing for conversion to 193 00:09:48,140 --> 00:09:55,140 Fahrenheit from kilograms, say, 12 .2%, plus, of course, the fiscal drift in 194 00:09:55,140 --> 00:09:56,140 the European snake. 195 00:09:57,340 --> 00:10:00,420 Well, it rounds out about £99 .99. 196 00:10:01,220 --> 00:10:04,780 That's under 100 quid, Mildred. Yes, George. We can't afford anyone else. 197 00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:06,280 Now, look, it's... 198 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,820 And I only say if I let you do this job for us. 199 00:10:10,140 --> 00:10:11,140 When can you start? 200 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,080 Tricky, tricky one, that. 201 00:10:17,060 --> 00:10:18,780 A bit swamped at the moment, you see. 202 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:21,020 I think Glenda's spreading the word, you know. 203 00:10:22,340 --> 00:10:23,560 How about tomorrow morning? 204 00:10:27,020 --> 00:10:30,400 Well, I'll stay up this time. 205 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:33,140 Well, third time lucky. 206 00:10:33,620 --> 00:10:34,620 Yes. 207 00:10:36,330 --> 00:10:37,650 What are they doing next door? 208 00:10:37,890 --> 00:10:38,890 I don't know. 209 00:10:39,190 --> 00:10:41,810 Perhaps she's banging her head against the wall and who could blame her? 210 00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:44,190 Do you want a cup of tea? 211 00:10:44,470 --> 00:10:45,470 No, thanks. I'll go upstairs and change. 212 00:10:47,110 --> 00:10:48,130 Come in, Mrs Roper. 213 00:10:50,030 --> 00:10:51,530 Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going upstairs. 214 00:10:52,690 --> 00:10:53,710 Is it something I said? 215 00:10:53,970 --> 00:10:55,870 I don't think so, Mildred. You didn't say anything. 216 00:10:56,130 --> 00:10:57,190 Oh, no. Oh, good. 217 00:10:57,810 --> 00:11:00,990 I really came in to apologise for the noise next door. 218 00:11:01,190 --> 00:11:02,730 Oh, we didn't notice. 219 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:06,340 Oh, it's just that they're fitting my new shower. 220 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:08,120 Exactly like that one. 221 00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:09,880 Oh, very nice. 222 00:11:10,580 --> 00:11:14,080 Does the naked man come with it? No, I'm afraid not, no, no. 223 00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:16,160 No, actually, it's a woman, yeah. 224 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,680 George drew in the moustache and the beard and the... 225 00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:26,780 Must 226 00:11:26,780 --> 00:11:28,360 be here somewhere. 227 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:30,160 Are you sure you know what you're doing, Gerry? 228 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:31,299 Of course I do. 229 00:11:31,300 --> 00:11:33,840 I'm conducting a scientific search for the downpipe. 230 00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:35,440 Meenie! 231 00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:37,060 Meenie! Meenie! 232 00:11:37,380 --> 00:11:38,780 Matt! Let's try it. 233 00:11:39,420 --> 00:11:41,260 How will you recognise it when you find it? 234 00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:42,500 Well, it's a pipe, George. 235 00:11:42,700 --> 00:11:43,740 It goes down. 236 00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:45,280 Stand there. 237 00:12:22,510 --> 00:12:23,510 in time. 238 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:04,200 A bit of real British craftsmanship, that. 239 00:13:04,460 --> 00:13:06,500 I don't think Mildred liked you grouting with her toothbrush. 240 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:09,680 Well, we won't tell her, will we? 241 00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:15,720 Now, I've taken a spur off the main dam pipe, George, but you must allow time 242 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:16,800 for the chewing gum to harden. 243 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:19,200 Chewing gum? 244 00:13:19,260 --> 00:13:23,720 Technical jargon, George, you wouldn't understand, but what I'm saying is the 245 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,020 water in the bathroom must stay off until it's finished. 246 00:13:26,380 --> 00:13:27,700 Oi, that's my flannel. 247 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:28,920 Oh, I'm sorry. 248 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:31,320 Use this, it's Mildred's son. 249 00:13:34,660 --> 00:13:37,800 He was a bit stroppy the other day, him next door, eh? 250 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:39,880 Well, he had cause to be, Gerry. 251 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:45,680 Yeah, but, I mean, squirting body darts through the hole, I mean... Childish in 252 00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:46,499 the language. 253 00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:48,260 Yeah. When do you reckon he'll be finished? 254 00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:51,400 Oh, just as soon as the showerhead and control unit arrive. 255 00:13:52,420 --> 00:13:53,420 Arrive? From where? 256 00:13:56,220 --> 00:13:57,220 Korea? 257 00:14:01,439 --> 00:14:04,260 I mean, you could get shower hands round the corner. 258 00:14:06,740 --> 00:14:08,860 Not to fit Korean copper pipes, you can't. 259 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:14,300 Different gauge, you know. And why did you fit Korean copper pipes? 260 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:16,220 Well, I had them in the yard, you see. 261 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:17,760 Cheap consignment. 262 00:14:18,060 --> 00:14:19,300 Fell off the back of a rickshaw. 263 00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:23,260 So when can I have a shower? 264 00:14:23,460 --> 00:14:26,120 Well, in days rather than weeks, Mrs R. I've been in touch with the suppliers 265 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:29,360 and the fittings are already halfway down the Ho Chi Minh Trail. 266 00:14:32,590 --> 00:14:34,150 A longer rope, but prettier, you see. 267 00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:36,050 Here we are then. 268 00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:39,570 Why? Why did I let you persuade me to use him? 269 00:14:40,090 --> 00:14:42,770 I mean, will I never learn? 270 00:14:43,130 --> 00:14:44,410 Well, you mustn't blame yourself, Mildred. 271 00:14:47,170 --> 00:14:48,430 Calls himself a handyman. 272 00:14:48,730 --> 00:14:50,250 He couldn't put up an umbrella. 273 00:14:50,630 --> 00:14:53,250 Yes, well, I'll just be off now then. Ah, you stay there. 274 00:14:53,570 --> 00:14:58,670 Right. You are going. Right. Ah, to the nearest ironmonger. 275 00:14:58,930 --> 00:15:01,570 And you will get me a showerhead that fits. 276 00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:05,260 and you will have it here within 24 hours. 277 00:15:05,580 --> 00:15:06,579 It might take some time. 278 00:15:06,580 --> 00:15:08,900 I don't care if it takes all week, 24 hours. 279 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:10,120 Right. 280 00:15:11,260 --> 00:15:13,760 Oh, I mean, you could sharpen pencils with that tongue, couldn't you? 281 00:15:14,860 --> 00:15:17,680 You should do as I do, Jerry. What's that? Well, stand up to her. Oh, yeah. 282 00:15:17,820 --> 00:15:20,000 George! Get you and Jerry off, my love. 283 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:21,680 There we go. 284 00:15:24,660 --> 00:15:25,660 Oh, 285 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:26,720 hello, son. 286 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:28,480 This is a bill. 287 00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:31,410 for the repairs and the retiling of my bathroom wall. 288 00:15:31,630 --> 00:15:32,630 Oh, yeah, right. 289 00:15:32,750 --> 00:15:36,670 50 quid? Oh, I could have done it for half that. Excuse me. 290 00:15:37,290 --> 00:15:42,130 Are you insured against this sort of thing? My insurance does not cover 291 00:15:42,130 --> 00:15:43,650 disasters, such as yourself. 292 00:15:44,190 --> 00:15:45,169 Oh, no. 293 00:15:45,170 --> 00:15:46,170 Well, oh, sure. 294 00:15:46,650 --> 00:15:49,730 Oh, dear. 295 00:15:51,110 --> 00:15:52,110 That's a bit steep. 296 00:15:52,589 --> 00:15:54,950 It's a wonder he didn't charge us for the squirt of batty dust. 297 00:15:55,390 --> 00:15:58,270 I am now going to my keep fit class, George. 298 00:15:58,490 --> 00:15:59,530 Oh, yeah? Jolly hockey sticks. 299 00:16:02,410 --> 00:16:03,410 Don't sit down. 300 00:16:03,510 --> 00:16:04,530 You are filthy. 301 00:16:04,970 --> 00:16:06,550 I can't stand up for the rest of my life. 302 00:16:07,430 --> 00:16:09,550 Well, go and have a bath. Get changed. 303 00:16:09,830 --> 00:16:11,130 But there's no water in the bathroom. 304 00:16:11,550 --> 00:16:13,950 Well, carry some up, George. I mean, you're not helpless. 305 00:16:14,770 --> 00:16:16,470 It'll be like the good old days. 306 00:16:22,290 --> 00:16:24,450 Nobody likes me, Moby, except you. 307 00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:26,190 Hey, do you want a drop of tea? 308 00:16:28,130 --> 00:16:29,130 No, perhaps not. 309 00:16:33,970 --> 00:16:34,970 There we are. 310 00:16:36,090 --> 00:16:37,430 Nothing like the old tin barrel. 311 00:16:39,630 --> 00:16:41,390 Right, well, I think we'll have a bit more of this. 312 00:16:42,350 --> 00:16:45,750 Femphone. Brings your skin alive with the zest of a Nordic waterfall. 313 00:16:48,810 --> 00:16:50,130 Smell like a turkey's cat house. 314 00:16:52,110 --> 00:16:53,110 Thank you. 315 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:27,760 Come on, Percy. 316 00:17:31,120 --> 00:17:33,900 Do come in, dears. Oh, 317 00:17:35,380 --> 00:17:42,220 my God. 318 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:12,280 Get down, dear. 319 00:18:12,620 --> 00:18:13,620 There we are. 320 00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:22,400 I think George must be, um... 321 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:28,280 Barfing the dog. Oh, that would be quite... I'll just go and tell him to 322 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:29,259 it. 323 00:18:29,260 --> 00:18:30,039 Excuse me. 324 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:31,040 George! 325 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:40,180 I, um... I haven't met Mr Roper yet. 326 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:41,400 Oh! 327 00:18:42,060 --> 00:18:43,060 There are a lot of them. 328 00:18:44,140 --> 00:18:46,240 Isn't he a traffic warden? Yes. 329 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:49,760 Not my favourite kind of person, I must admit. 330 00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:53,120 They always seem to pop up when you leave the place. 331 00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:59,260 Is it a very large world they have? 332 00:18:59,620 --> 00:19:00,539 Not really. 333 00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:03,480 He's a Yorkie. They certainly do him proud. 334 00:19:11,830 --> 00:19:12,830 Afternoon, ladies. 335 00:19:14,110 --> 00:19:18,730 This is Mr Roper. 336 00:19:19,730 --> 00:19:22,750 How... What do you do? 337 00:19:23,090 --> 00:19:24,630 Very nicely, thank you. 338 00:19:26,470 --> 00:19:29,570 It's warm weather for the time of year, isn't it? 339 00:19:30,610 --> 00:19:35,730 Yes, they say we're going to have some rain. Oh, yes, very good for the garden, 340 00:19:35,790 --> 00:19:37,310 yes. Here we are then. 341 00:19:37,830 --> 00:19:40,030 Now, I told you we wouldn't... John! 342 00:19:43,430 --> 00:19:44,990 Excuse me. No, 343 00:19:47,570 --> 00:19:48,810 I won't take that. 344 00:19:52,750 --> 00:19:54,310 Very smart of you to come. 345 00:19:55,690 --> 00:19:58,510 Any one 346 00:19:58,510 --> 00:20:06,230 for 347 00:20:06,230 --> 00:20:07,230 a sponge finger? 348 00:20:09,770 --> 00:20:13,130 Full trade price I had to pay for this thing. Full trade price. 349 00:20:14,090 --> 00:20:15,270 Luckily, they didn't know me. 350 00:20:15,770 --> 00:20:16,770 Took a cheque. 351 00:20:18,210 --> 00:20:19,930 Yeah, well, it's a good -looking job, Jerry. 352 00:20:20,130 --> 00:20:21,550 Your thing had been done by a professional. 353 00:20:23,910 --> 00:20:24,910 Yeah, yeah. 354 00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:26,350 Well, that's it. 355 00:20:26,450 --> 00:20:27,289 All finished. 356 00:20:27,290 --> 00:20:29,790 Right, well, I'll just go and tell Mildred. She'll like to try it out. 357 00:20:30,050 --> 00:20:33,850 She's not likely to take her clothes off, is she? Oh, I shouldn't think so. 358 00:20:34,190 --> 00:20:35,510 Funny, I've not long had lunch. 359 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:42,640 It's finished, Mildred. 360 00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:43,840 I know it is. 361 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,260 My social life, all finished. 362 00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:48,880 Well, you're not still on about yesterday, are you? 363 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:52,020 Well, I mean, they didn't see much. No, they didn't. 364 00:20:55,660 --> 00:20:58,620 I mean, you could have stayed under the water, George. They were only here for 365 00:20:58,620 --> 00:20:59,620 half an hour. 366 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,440 Well, I tell you what, come and see the shower. It'll cheer you up. 367 00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:07,980 I can never go to the kick -pick class again, George. 368 00:21:08,730 --> 00:21:11,190 Now they've seen you, they'll wonder why I'm keeping fit four. 369 00:21:15,030 --> 00:21:17,210 Ah, you're just in time, Mrs. Hark. 370 00:21:17,530 --> 00:21:18,870 The water's turned on. 371 00:21:19,210 --> 00:21:20,450 All systems go. 372 00:21:20,690 --> 00:21:21,690 What do you think? 373 00:21:22,090 --> 00:21:24,210 There's something very strange here. 374 00:21:24,790 --> 00:21:27,230 What? I can't see anything wrong with it. 375 00:21:27,550 --> 00:21:29,690 I mean, it looks all right. 376 00:21:30,090 --> 00:21:33,370 There's a year's guarantee it goes with it. If anything goes wrong, I guarantee 377 00:21:33,370 --> 00:21:34,870 to put it right within a year. 378 00:21:38,540 --> 00:21:40,280 I'll go further. It looks good. 379 00:21:40,820 --> 00:21:41,820 Does it work? 380 00:21:42,220 --> 00:21:44,660 Oh, ye of little faith. 381 00:21:45,060 --> 00:21:46,060 Watch this. 382 00:21:47,700 --> 00:21:51,420 The babysitter's arrived, the taxi's here, and I'm ready. 383 00:21:51,660 --> 00:21:53,940 All right, Anne, the curtain doesn't go up till eight o 'clock. 384 00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:58,620 Plenty of time for a drink, and then we can go next up. 385 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:02,680 Anne? 386 00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:04,440 Anne? 387 00:22:06,120 --> 00:22:09,640 The shower just went on and off, all by itself. 388 00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:13,420 Have you been at the sherry, Geoffrey? 389 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:16,400 It doesn't seem to be working. 390 00:22:16,900 --> 00:22:20,800 Well, not in the sense that there's water coming out, no. 391 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:24,240 Perhaps it takes some time to work through the pipes. 392 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:25,500 Where is it coming from? 393 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:26,800 Korea? 394 00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:31,580 It did. It went on all by itself. 395 00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:34,360 Oh, Geoffrey. Look, it did. 396 00:22:35,580 --> 00:22:37,940 No, it's not working at all. I'm turning it on and nothing. 397 00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:41,220 You are the most useless man I've ever met. 398 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:45,300 Oh, it's working. 399 00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:46,680 Well, of course it is. 400 00:22:47,780 --> 00:22:51,000 Blimey, for a moment there, I thought I'd plumbed it into next doors. 401 00:22:53,260 --> 00:22:55,540 It stopped. 402 00:22:56,340 --> 00:23:01,060 Yeah, well, you just turn it on or off or whatever again. 403 00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:02,600 Not a drop. 404 00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:05,080 You know... 405 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:06,640 There's something wrong here, Anne. 406 00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:08,540 And you know who I blame? 407 00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:10,440 Mr. Roper. 28552

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