All language subtitles for George and Mildred s01e10 Family Planning

You're making me an A.

Oh, I love it. What have all those
people been driving about? I know, love.

It's just dress. Go inside, my love.
There you go.

That's it. Yes.

Oh! I hope you don't mind me parking my
new, bottle -green, automatic Jaguar XJ6

outside. Only Humphrey gave it to me for
my birthday.

You're still having birthdays, are you,
dear? Oh, well, there you go.

George, it's my sister, Ethel. Yeah, I
could hear her credit card rattling.

So what do we owe this unexpected
pleasure? It is not unexpected, George.

No, it's not a pleasure either.

Stop. I just popped in to have a chat
about Mother. Well, I thought we needed

blinking Mother in North Carolina.

Actually, that reminds me. On Saturday,
I'm selling flags for the pig ignorant.

Well, uh, George isn't too keen on
having Mother stay with us for the week.

he's hiding it well.

I must say, Humphrey gets on with her
all right.

Yes, well, I mean, he's more used to
older women, isn't he, dear?

Uh, Sherry?

Sherry, you served the last time. Yes.

No, thank you.

Now, about Mother, she is not getting
any younger. Oh, well, dear, none of us

are. Apart from you, of course.

What we need to say is, she's living in
the past, just a little.

Every time the planes fly over from
Heathrow, she can't understand why the

guns aren't firing out.

I think most of us feel that way, dear.

And Hilda, mother, for a week last year,
she said she's getting very forgetful.

Oh, Hilda can talk.

Five kids, she's supposed to be on the
pill.

Five and a half, the chemist was shut
again. Oh, no.

Anyway, I thought I'd better just drop
in and mention it. Yeah, and so is your

bottle green all the Maddy XJ was named.

Oh, George. It's a wonder she didn't
bring it in with her.

It's perfectly all right, Mildred.

Mother was right, you should never have
married him.

Your mother was against you and me
getting married?

Oh, yes.

God, how I've wronged that woman.

Anne, I want a word with you.

I have just found a sticky toffee apple
in the glove compartment.

Oh, well, don't eat it now. You'll spoil
your dinner.

Where is Tristram?

Well, why blame him? It could be that
Mr. Michael down at your garage.

Well, I've never seen him eating toffee
apples.

Well, he probably sees you coming and
then hides them in the glove

Right. Where is he? Oh, just a minute,
Geoffrey.

Listen, he's a bit upset.

He, uh... Well, he got a black eye at
school today.

He got a... a black eye?

In school?

You mean he's been... fighting?

My lad.

Did he put up a good show? You know,
win, that sort of thing? No, he lost.

And you know I disapprove of fighting.
Who was it?

He wouldn't say.

Right.

Hello there, soldier.

All right?

I've got a black eye.

Yes, yes.

Oh.

Look, I don't want you to feel you've
let me down at all by not winning,

I imagine your opponent was what, twice
your size?

Probably a council child, wiry and
cunning. They develop their reflexes

doing paper rounds.

It was Leslie Wilkinson.

All right, Anne.

Tell you what we do, soldier.

First thing Monday, your mother will go
out and buy a pair of boxing gloves.

And hit Leslie Wilkinson? Yes. No, no.

We'll do boxing lessons and you can do
it.

You said I shouldn't hit girls.

Girls?

Oh, it's been ages. Well, you're looking
very well, Ethel.

Mildred, dear.

Yes. Now, where are the children? Bring
them in to see Granny.

You're thinking of Hilda, Mother.

Yes. Well, go on, in you go. There you
are.

There we are.

Now, mind the stairs, dear. That's
right.

Oh, we have been looking forward to this
visit.

George, George wants to say something to
you, Mother, don't you, George? Yeah.

Welcome,

Mother -in -law. We hope your stay with
us will be a... Pleasant one. It'll be a

pleasant one, yes.

Oh, thank you, Humphrey.

George?

Yes?

George, go and get Mar's bag from the
taxi, will you, and pay him. Oh, cool.

sit down, dear. There we are.

Cool. You were lucky, getting a taxi
from the station.

Oh, I didn't, dear.

I got one from Dagenham. I can't afford
the train.

But it's ever so much more expensive by
taxi.

Yes, but I'm free paying for it.

Oh, you've got a Yorkshire terrier. Yes.

Oh, come on.

Oh, love, it's truffled, look. Here,
Mildred's got one of them.

Yes, dear, yes.

Um, well, this is knife, mother, yeah.
How are you keeping?

Oh, very well.

I've not had a day's illness since that
new woman doctor came.

Oh, yeah? Oh, is she good? Oh, no.

I just don't like her.

She hasn't got a man's hands.

Oh, blimey.

You know how much he wanted?

Nearly six quid. And he expected a tip.

Here, look at that. 5p change.

Oh, thank you, George.

Leave it, George.

At least you got the name right.

Right, Chester, here we go.

Lesson one.

Lead with your left.

Like this.

Right, now hit me on the chin.

I can't reach it.

Oh, no.

Well, er...

How about this?

Oh, you'd better take your glasses off.

Then I won't be able to see.

Ah, no.

Well, I'll take my glasses off as well.

Neither of us will be able to see.
That's fair.

Anne? Anne?

Yes? Could you take those glasses off
before we start, please?

Oh, I bet Ali and Foreman never had this
trouble.

Right.

Have you taken his glasses off?

Yes. Good, good. Where are you?

Right,

you ready?

I think so.

No, you're not, Sonny, you see, because
your guard's open. Look. You see? You

see? Oh, I can't stand it.

Oh, get that for me, Geoffrey. I've got
a pan on.

Oh, Anne, but... Oh.

Can you see my glasses?

No, of course you can't.

Keep your guard up.

It's up.

Is it? Well, keep it up.

Yes, yes, yes, I'm trying to open the...
Ah, who is it?

Oh, it's me, Mr Fourmile.

Oh, Mrs Roper.

What can I do for you?

Well, I was wondering if you could
possibly fill this for me. Well, I might

able to. What is it?

Well, it's a peppermint.

I've run out of peppercorns, you see,
and I thought I might... Ah.

I haven't called it a bad moment, have
I? I mean, no, you're not having a

disagreement with Anne.

What? Oh, no, no, no.

She's in the kitchen. Do come in. Oh,
sure, thank you. I'll close the door.

There we are.

I'm knitting this for Hilda.

It never fit her.

For the baby.

She's expecting again.

Oh, yeah. Gets pregnant if she shares
her husband's bathwater, she does.

Oh, they're lovely kiddies. Got five,
she has.

Haven't you ever wanted one, George?

Why, is she giving them away?

I'd like another grandson.

Before I go.

Oh, it's a bit short notice you're only
here for a week.

Someone to carry on the family name.

I suppose only Arthur can do that.

Arthur? Who's Arthur?

My eldest.

Oh, you've never met him, have you?

He's in New Zealand.

Oh, yeah, well, that's probably why.

Emigrated.

He's still the bachelor guy, of course.

Oh, well, so much for the family name.

Here we are then.

Dinner's nearly ready, Mother.

I've made you some nice steamed fish in
milk.

Oh, I'd rather have a lamb chop.

They smell nice.

Oh, well, you can have mine.

Oh, good thinking, Miltry. And I'll have
yours. You can have the fish.

Next you'll be giving away brown ale.

Oh, thank you, George.

Isn't he kind?

Oh, blimey, it's going to be hell of a
week, this is.

That's Mother's, George.

And I expect you like the paper, too.

Oh, that's typical, isn't it? For the
past week, I've come second in this

household. Third, George, of forgetting
the dog.

Waiting on her hand and foot. If she had
an itchy nose, you'd sneeze for her.

Well, she needs looking after.

And so do I.

But you're not an old lady, George.

You're a bit of an old woman, but you're
not an old lady.

Now, when we see the back of her...
Well, don't hold your breath while

waiting, George.

What? because I am seriously thinking of
having my mother stay with us

permanently.

Now look here, Mildred, your mother is
not living with us. Oh, don't get

yourself in a state, George.

I mean, I know they're a drawback, but
there are advantages too.

If she stays, I go.

Yes, that's one of them.

She's got her own home in, in what's
name?

Dagenham. If it's good enough for the
girl pipers, it's good enough for her.

George, she's all alone there.

I mean, how would you like to be all
alone in your old age?

As a matter of fact, that's one of my
ambitions.

I see.

You know, George, sometimes you can say
the most hurtful things.

Yeah, well, don't turn on the
waterworks.

We used to be happy once, George, you
and I.

Sometimes.

I mean, what happened to us?

Well, we got married, Mildred.

Yes, but people who get married don't
have to hate each other. Well, we don't

hate each other. You speak for yourself.

Don't misunderstand me, dearest. I mean,
I've got a lot of affection and respect

for your mother.

I just don't see why we should be
lumbered with the old boot.

Why can't one of the others look after
her? Because Hilda is expecting us.

so's Ethel, expecting us to lumber
ourselves.

Look, your mother is nothing but an old,
old... Isn't lunch ready yet?

Gannet, that's the word I was searching
for.

George! Gannet?

What's he mean, Gannet?

Oh, well, it's a sort of raincoat,
Mother. You see, George was thinking of

buying one.

There's some tea in the pot, if you'd
like a cup. Oh, thank you very much.

you are, dear.

You!

I am your husband, Mildred. I do have
certain rights.

But it's months since you... Other
rights!

Privacy in my own home.

I mean, she's not just our
responsibility.

Well, no. I gave you my advice what to
do with her at the beginning of the

I am not having her put down.

That's it, soldier. Keep them coming.

Now, don't worry about the fact you're
not getting through. It's just I'm

good at it.

And don't forget to use your feet.

You mean I can kick you?

No, no, no, no.

Footwork. That's it. In my case, knee
work.

Try and catch me with a guard down.

I'd rather learn kung fu. We are not
having any of that foreign rubbish in

house. You learn a good British straight
left, you won't have to worry about

being bullied at school.

No, you can be bullied at home instead.

End of round 37.

He's getting rather good at it, Anne.

It's here, Anne, isn't it? Yes.

Actually, you look more attractive
without your glasses on.

Yeah, so do you.

Oh, thank you.

You were a really good hard right.

Any more of that and I will.

Well, I wasn't actually talking to you.
Zoof!

Sit yourself down. Ethel over there,
dear. And Humphrey over there. That's

By the lamp.

George? What?

Oh, yeah.

Anyone care for Sherry? No. No.

Is the Hilda coming to this... Family
conference yesterday, she is, yes. What

about Fertile Fred?

Yes, well, her husband will be here too,
I think, yes.

George. All right, all right.

It must all be such a rush, Mildred.
When you rang, I hadn't even got my face

on. Oh, you should have said, dear.

We could have made it next week.

Well, I've told you what I think you
should do with your mother.

Humphrey. Quite right, Ethel. I think we
should wait till Hilda gets here before

we start any conference.

Oh, she's here.

Oh, hello, darling.

How are you?

Little thing.

Oh, look at that.

Looks like the opening scene from
Macbeth, doesn't it?

All they need is a bubbling cauldron.
What was that, Humphrey? Oh, no, I was

just saying, dear, it's been a long time
since we had a family get -together

like this, hasn't it, George?

Oh, yeah, yeah. That was a good night,
though, wasn't it? You know, drinking a

bit of an ease -up.

That's the only time I've ever seen your
mother have a really good laugh.

When was that?

My father's funeral.

Oh, yeah.

Is Frederick not with you, dear?

No, he's not. He's a bit tired.

Oh, that's understandable.

He sends his love? Yes, we can see he
does.

Well, now that we're all here, now, I
want to talk about my... Isn't he ready

yet? Oh, what a surprise.

Oh, Ethel, Hilda, Mildred, Frederick and
George.

Yeah, well, I live here.

see me?

Yes, Mother, now, isn't that nice?

And now that they have all seen you,
George is going to take you down the pub

for a little drink.

Am I?

Is he?

You can't blame him, Geoffrey. You did
ask him to try and hit you.

Not when I wasn't looking.

Um, how is it?

Well,

it's, um, oh, you look like half a
panda.

So nice to see all the family together
again.

Is Arthur coming?

Who? Oh, no. Not all the way from
Newfoundland.

New Zealand?

Yeah, well, it's the same place.

No, no, there's a bus stripe on, see.

Right, well, sit down. What are you
drinking?

Hear the comments now.

You know what people will think, don't
you? No.

Oh, evening, sir.

Oh,

God. She's been bashing you about, you
see.

That's what people will think.

Oh, clocked in with her rolling pin, did
you?

What, not out with the lads? Mr Roper.

It's all right, son. I mean, it's
nothing to be ashamed of. I mean, we all

our little tips.

I should tell people that lad of yours
did it. He did. Ah, yeah, that's the

I can't take her.

Oh, I can see your point about leaving
her on her own, but, well, there's not a

lot of space in our house.

I mean, Frederick needs a room of his
own.

He's left it a bit late for that, hasn't
he?

To study.

He wants to be a producer.

Looks like he's doing all right.

Now,

I, too, would be only too happy to have
Mother come and live with us.

But... But the one spare room we have,
we've had plans drawn up to turn it into

a... Billion room. Sauna bar.

Come, billiard room.

Well, what about you?

George says he's going to leave if
Mother comes here. Oh, good, then you'll

plenty of room. All right. Come on, come
on, come on. Now, look here, let's be

reasonable about this.

Now, why don't we put her into the by
-the -wee home for retired gentlefolk?

I mean, the walls must be ten feet high.
She'd never get out.

Push her into a home.

You're trying to push her into mine?

Oh, look, you've got a great big house,
a great big swimming pool. Yeah, I

wouldn't mind pushing her into that.

This is our mother we're talking about.

She's given us the best years of her
life.

I mean, here we all are, trying to palm
her off onto someone else. Well, I don't

know how you feel about it, but I feel
ashamed.

So you'll take her? No, I won't. You
take her.

Yeah, well, this is a bundle of fun,
isn't it?

Do you want a game of football?

We haven't got a ball.

No, no, on the machine.

Oh, forget it.

Do you fancy a packet of crisps?

Oh, yes, please.

Yeah, well, get me one while you're up
there.

My legs aren't what they were, you know.

I'm not long for this world.

Oh, but you've got time to get a packet
of crisps, don't you?

I've had a good life, though.

Seen all my daughters, happily married.

Apart from Mildred, of course.

Eh?

The world of me, they do.

Oh, do they?

They're having a barney at this moment
about which one of them gets stuck with

you. Oh?

Well, I mean, you're getting a bit past
it, aren't you?

I mean, look at last Tuesday when you
couldn't get out of the bath and I had

help you. I did not enjoy that.

It didn't do very much for me either.

That's for getting stuck with me. They
needn't bother.

I'm going to a far better place.

Yes, but that might not be for years.

New Zealand.

Oh, I see. Where?

My eldest, Arthur.

Now, where's that last letter of his?

There.

There. He's asked me to go and live with
him.

And he sent me the tickets, and I've
accepted.

Well, why didn't you mention it?

Well, I thought the girls would be so
upset.

Upset? They'd be thrilled to bits. Well,
they're upset as well, yeah.

I'm going to have my own room, and he
says I can help him brand the sheep.

When?

Whenever they need branding.

No, no, no. When are you going?

Oh. On the 15th. 15th? Well, that's only
a couple of days.

Yes.

Here, let's go back and break the good
news. Yeah, I mean, prepare them for the

sad party. I haven't finished my drink.

Oh, all right.

Hey, son.

Keep an eye on the old lady, will you?
What?

The good eye.

No, I've just got to pop back and... Oh,
this is Geoffrey... What's his name?

He's a friend of mine.

Oh, here. Here, get you a packet of
crisps.

Uh, hello.

You ought to learn to defend yourself,
young man.

Why don't you take up boxing?

We could draw straws.

I saw it in a film once.

Somebody had to jump out of the
lifeboat. Eh?

Kirk Douglas drew the short straw.

Oh, well, that settles it. She can go
and live with him.

Oh. That is just like you, isn't it?
What are you talking about? Look here,

do more than a lot of people do for your
mother.

Please. That's better.

Perhaps I could put in a word. Thank
you.

I've listened, more in sorrow than in
anger, to this sad,

sad spectacle of a family divided
against itself.

Oh, God, he's drunk.

I am not drunk.

I am sick.

Sick at heart to think that you, all of
you, could turn away this...

Poor old lady in the twilight of her
years.

Please, there is more to life than
material possessions, such as swimming

and kids.

There is charity and love and the
pursuit of happiness.

I hold these truths to be self -evident.

Never in the field of human investment.

Well, what I'm saying is that I'm
willing to welcome my mother -in -law to

humble home for as long as she wishes to
stay.

George!

Yeah, well, I'll go and get your coat.

Stole.

Allow me.

She hasn't got any money, you know.

What care I for wealth?

Oh.

Yeah, go and get the coat, then.

George.

George, I'm so proud of you.

Yes, well, it might not be for long,
Mildred.

And it was one in the eye for that lot,
eh?

Well, well done, George.

Of course, I must say, you'd never have
had this trouble in the first place if

she'd gone to live with your Arthur in
New Zealand.

No, that's right, yeah.

What was that, Mildred?

Arthur. Oh, he sent her the tickets and
everything.

Oh, she was all set to go and then he
died.

1950,

that was.

And do you know she's been carrying his
letters around with her ever since? Poor

old soul.

Oh, my God.