Original subtitles

It's very kind of you to offer to babysit for us, Mrs Roper. We really do

appreciate it. Oh, not at all. Do go through to the lounge. Oh, thank you.

God's sake, girl, move on, woman.

Pardon? I'm sorry, I was talking to Adam.

Why do some women spend hours and hours fritting themselves up? I mean, you

don't, do you?

Well, I... Oh, there you are. Please sit down. Would you like a sherry? Thank

you.

We shouldn't be back too late.

We're going to see Tom Stoppard's jumpers.

Oh, really?

Well, I hope you enjoy them.

Geoffrey, you'll wake him up making all that noise.

I'm only pouring a sherry. You can hardly hear it.

Hello, Mildred. Thanks so much for coming.

Now, Tristram's in the fridge and the sandwiches are in bed.

It's all right, love. I know what you're making. Come on, we're going to be

late. No, we're not. I'll put your watch on 20 minutes.

Oh, God.

We're going to be early.

Oh, look, Mildred. If Tristram comes down and tells you there's a werewolf

his bed... Don't believe him, no.

No, it's in the cupboard. Come on.

Bye. Enjoy yourselves.

Oh. There's a goofy bear in my toy cupboard.

Is there?

What happened to the werewolf?

A goofy bear. It's him.

Oh, did he?

Oh, that's a bit of luck.

And now he won't drink of water.

I see.

Well, I'll bring him up one in a minute.

We'll see.

Now go on, up the wooden hill.

Go on, off you go.

Ah, it's finally packed up, Mildred. It's been on the blink for years and now

it's packed up. Well, you shouldn't play with it.

Oh, just adjusting the vertical hold, that's all. Now find him and get a

picture. Will you keep your voice down?

I thought I could watch Coronation Street on this.

Yes, why not?

Sit yourself down for 24 hours.

Eh?

It's Tuesday, George.

He doesn't go out till Wednesday night.

Oh, well, yeah. All right.

Well, what is on tonight, then?

Nothing. I came in here to get away from that.

Now, if you're going to stay, George, you can sit and talk to me.

Ah, yeah, right.

I'll see you when you get back, then.

Will you read me a story?

Eh? Oh, er, well, I don't know.

What about The Wicked Witch?

Ah, that's it. Get her to read you one.

You know he shouldn't be downstairs.

Well, I didn't bring him down.

You promised to read me a story.

I did not.

Oh, George, now, come on. You must keep your promise. Yep, I didn't. Oh, that's

it. Oh, God.

Right.

What was it? The Wicked Witch.

Will you make one up instead?

Eh? Oh.

Well, I don't know.

Yeah, all right. I suppose so.

Right, now then, let's see.

Oh, yeah.

There was this sock, you see, and it was Scottish because it came from Scotland.

And it was called Jock. Jock Sock.

That's it.

Jock Sock, yeah.

And there was this other sock, you see, called Sally.

Sally Sock.

And one day, Sally said to her husband, Jock, she said...

There's a hole in you.

Aren't you going to get it mended?

And he said... He said, I'll be darned if I do.

You'd better read the book.

All right, all right.

Oh, yeah.

Now then.

Once upon a time, there lived a king who... What's that word?

Who reigned.

Who reigned over his kingdom wisely and well.

Here we are. Nice water.

Oh, tell. It's nothing for you, George.

It's for the grizzly bear in the cupboard.

Oh, yeah?

Perhaps you'd better finish this off for me.

Good night, Mr. Roper. Good night, son.

Good night, Jock. Good night, Sally.

Oh, yeah, well, good night from them and all, too.

Well, now.

Where was he up to?

Can I have a banana?

Well, I finally got him off, George.

George?

George?

Oh.

He was asleep.

Yeah, so was I.

Ah, George.

He kissed me goodnight.

Yeah, he probably did have his glasses on.

Now, look, George.

George, it made me think.

I mean, is it really too late to have one of our own?

Well,

it is a bit. There's a George Ralph film.

Adopting one? Well, it seemed to be the only way, love.

I mean, I don't think George is going to strike oil after all these years.

Oh, you have been trying, then? Oh, yes.

On and off, you know.

We went to a doctor once. He said there was nothing wrong with us.

It's just that we hadn't been blessed.

Well, George, mainly.

He hadn't been blessed.

Oh, yeah?

Mind you, they were a lot younger than you.

That is, they weren't as old as... Have you, um... Have you thought of

fostering? Oh, yes, yes, we did do, but then, you see, you've got to give them

back, haven't you, love? You know, a bit like milk bottles.

No.

No, I really want one of me own.

Well, it wouldn't do any harm to make some inquiries, Mildred. Oh, right.

Anyway, I must dash. Get me shopping in before the pound slides again.

I'll see you out.

Oh, er, I must apologise for the hall carpet.

There isn't one. Yes, that's what I mean.

But it is on order.

In the meantime, we're just going to have to make do with wall -to -wall

floorboards.

Are you, er, are you serious about this adoption thing? Oh, yes, my very.

Mind you, the trouble is, persuading George.

Oh.

Oh,

nice meal, that, Ludwig.

Oh, good, George.

More brown ale?

Oh, yes, sir.

Hey, you didn't eat much of it.

Oh, well, you know, I'm not too fond of tripe and treacle tart.

But I know it's your favourite, George.

Oh, yeah.

What are you after, Mildred?

Nothing, George.

Really? Yeah, I know you're nothing, really. You have them every fortnight.

got an idea.

Oh, George.

It is not that, George.

It's just that, well, I mean, you know I've always wanted a child of my own.

I thought you said it wasn't that. It is.

Oh, for heaven's sake, George.

George?

Have a brandy.

Oh, sure.

No, I mean, I've got nothing against kids, Mildred.

But there was a time when I quite fancied having a little chap, a little

that looked just like me.

Yes, well, even that.

No, I mean, we could have done things together, him and me.

we could have collected shrapnel like I did with my dad.

Not a lot of shrapnel left, George.

I know, but you know what I mean.

It might be nice just once to have heard a little voice call me Daddy.

Daddy.

No, it's not the same coming from you, Mildred.

George. Now, there is another way, George. I mean, I know that it wouldn't

your own child.

What are you getting at? But we could bring him up as ours.

You're talking about artificial insinuation, but I wasn't.

No, George.

No, I am not. Oh, good.

I am talking about this.

Adoption Society.

George!

I've been

thinking,

George. You could tell him bedtime stories.

About your socks.

You bounce him on your knees.

You're going to go on all night, aren't you? I can tell you left your teeth in.

They are my own, George.

And you are not going to change the subject by provoking me.

You're provoking me. It's two o 'clock in the morning.

George, all I want is a final decision.

I've given it to you. No.

That doesn't sound like a final decision to me, George.

And then when you've made your decision, George, we can turn the small room into

a nursery.

Oh, bunny rabbits on the wall.

George? What?

Bunny rabbits on the wall.

Where?

In the nursery, George.

You think I'm going to crack, don't you? You think I'm going to say yes just for

a bit of peace?

Of course not.

Well, you're wrong, I am. Where do I start? No, no.

No, George, no. I want you to do this for the right reason. You what?

You should only do this if you sincerely and genuinely want to bring up a child

that you can love and bring up as your own. But I'm doing it for that, Mildred.

Because I sincerely and... and what's her name?

Genuinely. And genuinely want a child that I can love and... And bring up. And

bring up as my own.

Right. George, you've talked yourself into it.

He was ever so keen on the idea. He couldn't sleep for talking about it.

Marvellous. Yes.

The only trouble is, they need a name as a reference.

Either a close friend or a neighbour.

Ah. You see, and most of our close friends, well, they don't care for us.

I thought of you.

Well, if you think it would help. Oh, it would. It really would.

Yes.

Are you sure we're doing the right thing? I mean, once you post a

form... George, we're not committing ourselves to anything.

I'm sure we're doing the right thing.

Yeah, well, if you're sure.

your life.

It's convenient, I would like to call on you at 4 .30 this coming Saturday.

Today? Yes, the 12th, to discuss the matter, yours faithfully.

Yeah, we couldn't read his signature. We thought it was either Smith or

Butterfield. Well,

could it be Hitler? Oh, no.

Oh, no, he wouldn't be working for an adoption society.

Oh, Mildred, the office had a thought.

He might bring it with him, save him making two journeys.

George, he's only come to look at us. For heaven's sake, get those old

off. Oh, yeah, right.

Not here.

Oh, don't worry about me. I'm not easily shocked.

It's not shock I'm afraid of, dear. It's pity.

And,

George? What? George, don't walk on the new hall carpet.

Well, what am I supposed to do? Edge along the skirting board?

In those boots.

Now, what sort of questions do you think this Mr Hitler Butterfield should get

dressed?

What sort of things would you ask him? Well, if you're really worried, Mildred,

talk to this friend of ours, Jill, the one who adopted.

She's coming round this morning.

Oh!

Well, the man who came to see us... Oh, now, let me think.

Oh, yes, he asked us how often we went to church.

Yes?

Well, we do watch stars on Sunday.

And how my husband felt about children.

Pass. Oh.

Well, he asks us all sorts of questions, really.

You know, this, that and the other. Oh, this and that are all right. The

other... I'm not sure, but I think that's your Amanda crying.

Oh, yes, I am sure she is. Oh, I can't wait to see her.

She's gorgeous.

Well, at least you didn't say what most people say. What's that?

She's black.

Is she?

Oh,

I'll never have noticed.

Well, I would have noticed, but... She's lovely.

Excuse me a minute. Oh, look at those eyes.

I can't find my collarbones.

Oh, pass me a short blade somewhere.

No, no, no, we stiffen the things.

Oh,

Mrs. Amanda. George, it's Jill's baby.

It's black.

Yes. Well, would you like to take a... There we are.

I think I'd better get him home.

I'll stiffen your collar for you.

It's all very well, Mildred, but supposing we get one like that?

I mean, if I walk down the street with it, everyone will think I've been

unfaithful to you.

The other way round, George.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, if we've got to have one, I want one that looks like me.

Well, perhaps without the moustache.

I'm supposing it's the girl.

Oh, definitely without the moustache.

When this Mr Butterfield arrives... Smith. Oh, right, well, whatever. When

arrives, what do you do?

Oh, er, yeah, I... Well, where's your lift? Come on. Oh, yeah, there we are.

yeah, there we are.

I say, er, good afternoon, and I offer him a cherry.

Cherry, George.

Oh, yes, cherry.

At the same time, giving him a pleasant smile.

Oh, my God.

For the rest of the interview, I sit up straight and try not to do anything

disgusting.

Yes? Good afternoon, Mr Formile. Yes?

My name is Trubshaw.

I'm a social worker for the local adoption society.

Oh, yes, a very worthy cause. No, no, no, sorry.

I'm here with reference to your reference.

Hmm?

Oh, perhaps I should have phoned first.

Oh, no, no, do come in, please. Thank you.

I, uh, I should have mentioned this. Mentioned what?

This.

Since I was calling on Mr and Mrs Roper, I thought I might as well call on you

as well.

Ah, well, that's very sociable of you.

Yes. Ah, here we are.

Now, I understand that you are prepared to say that the Ropers would make first

-class parents, hmm?

No.

Yes.

No. Jeffrey, please do sit down. We just want to... In the hall. Won't take a

moment.

Just say yes.

It seems, a moment ago, when I said no, that I meant yes.

Mrs. Roper would make a wonderful mother.

And Mr. Roper? Oh, he would too.

Would you describe them as trustworthy, responsible members of the community?

Would you like a cup of tea?

No, thank you.

Trustworthy, responsible?

Well, yes.

Yes, I would. Yes, indeed, yes.

Yes. One, yes, is sufficient.

And how long have you known them?

Oh, well, it's at least... Are you sure you wouldn't like a cup of tea?

Now,

George, just remember, we must make a good impression on him. So whatever you

do, don't act natural.

Right, you are.

No, if you ask any questions, George, let me answer them. Right? Yeah, I

so. Right.

Mrs Roper, good afternoon.

I'm from the Adoption Society.

Yes.

Please, come in. Thank you.

New hall carpet.

Why?

Please go in.

Thank you.

We actually couldn't make out your name on the form. We thought it might be

Smith or Butterfield.

Thompson. Oh, I knew it was something like that.

This is my husband, George, Mr Roper.

Good afternoon.

How do you do?

Marvellous weather for the time of year, isn't it?

I think my wife better answer that question.

Please, sit down.

Thank you.

Would you care for a sherry?

It's very kind, but... No,

no.

Would you like a cup of tea?

No, no.

I should explain that we have a very careful selection procedure.

Quite right, we don't want any old rubbish.

We select the prospective parents, which brings me to the form you've filled in,

Mrs Roper.

Oh.

Yes. You give your age as, um, 35.

Yes.

Yes.

Purely a formality, of course, but we shall require a sight of your birth

certificate. Oh, I'm afraid that was destroyed in the blitz in 1940.

You weren't born in 1940.

Yes, I was. No, what I actually meant was that I was 35 and a few months.

How many months?

About a... I beg your pardon?

About a hundred.

Ah.

So that would really be 43.

And a few months.

Do either of you have any experience with small children?

Oh, yeah, I was surrounded by them for years.

Really? Yeah, when I was at school.

He means recently, George.

There is the little boy next door.

We often babysit for them.

Well, once.

That would be the four miles.

Mr. Formile says he's only known you and your husband for five weeks.

Oh, really? It seems much longer.

That's what he said.

Yes.

Well, I must say that, taking into account everything that you've said,

I think I must say that I... I...

I would like a cup of tea.

I'm awfully sorry, but as I said, with your age and lack of experience... Ah,

well, there you go. Worth a try, eh?

Quite. Waste of a cup of tea, but that's life.

Yes.

Well, um, goodbye.

Yeah, right. Well, goodbye.

You're not upset, are you, Miltie?

No.

Yes, you are.

No, I'm not, George.

Well, you look upset.

Oh, leave it, George.

Well, look at it this way.

It's not too late to have one of our own.

What? Well, I mean, you're only 35.

And don't do that. It was a joke. I thought it'd cheer you up. Oh, leave me

alone.

Yeah, all right. I'll leave you alone.

I'll just go down to the pub.

I'll see you later.

Mildred!

Mildred, you're upstairs!

Ah. Um, how are you feeling?

Oh, I'm all right, George.

I could see you were upset, you know.

Yeah, well, I was, uh...

A bit disappointed, you know, that's all.

Yeah, I thought as much.

So, er... I bought you this, Mildred.

Oh!

Well, it's not the same, I know, but you've always wanted one and you can

it. Oh, George!

And, er... Oh, he's lovely!

It's all yours.

Yes.

Well, er, you'll need this. He's just done a whoopsie on your new hall carpet.

you