Original subtitles

-[ Muffled Whistle] -[ Woman] Good-bye.

[ Billy] Who was that for? Sweet Jips. [ Chuckling]

[ Antoinette] Good night.

Well, thank God they're gone. [ Laughing]

[ Grunts, Laughs ]

- Good-bye! - Hey, what am I gonna do, Antoinette?

What?

First time in my life I bought $40 shoes, and they gave me corns.

They really hurt.

Well, you have to throw them away, dear.

I can't throw them away. They cost $40.

Look, I don't care if you paid two cents for them. They're worthless to you.

They cause you agony.

Give them to crippled civilians.

What, and make "em worse? [ Mock Laughing ]

- [ Antoinette Groans ] -[ Billy Laughs ]

- Oh, my Whitney fell off. -[ Mock Groaning ]

[Antoinette Mock Groaning ]

You sound like that horrible guy, Frankie Fontaine.

This rug is gonna be a pain in the ass.

We've had it 20 minutes, and already it's scruffy.

What do you mean scruffy? ♪ has to go scruffy.

- It certainly feels nice. - What's that?

- [ Thunder Rumbling ] - Thunder.

[ Antoinette] ♪ George, George, George of the jungle

♪ Monkey as can be ♪

Well, William.

Well, what is it? Now you've gotta get a cord and a light bulb and everything.

Yeah, that's right. A cord and a light bulb — that's what makes it work.

- Did you realize that before, when you got it? -Sure.

-I didn't realize it. - Well —

I think we got taken.

Where do you think we should put the harpsichord?

Over there?

The harpsichord?

Oh, I don't know.

Same place we're gonna put the rock bana.

What harpsichord?

- That I'm gonna buy. - You're not gonna buy a harpsichord.

- Oh, yes, I am, with my part of the money. - Oh, no, you're not gonna buy a harpsichord.

- Oh, yes, I am buying a musical instrument. - No, sir!

You're not buying a harpsichord!

And the reason you're not buying a harpsichord...

is because a harpsichord is a selfish instrument just for you.

The money is gonna go to buying things that we absolutely need.

What do we need a goddamn harpsichord for?

How can I study voice again if] don't have a musical instrument?

You don't need a harpsichord. I'll get you a harmonica.

You don't need a harpsichord.

- Besides, you can't even make up your mind whether you like a harpsichord. -/'m getting it!

You're only getting it for, uh, stage reasons.

No.

The money has got to go for things that we need.

Well, we need a harpsichord.

We need a harpsichord like we need a hole in the head, for Christ's sake.

What do we need a harpsichord for?

- Sol can play it and sing and everything. -/t's not even — It's not even — No. Come on.

No. It's not even an instrument that you're sure that you want.

One minute you say you want it, the next minute you say you don't.

Look, I saved money for a harpsichord, and then I put the money into the couch.

- You saved about $28 for that harpsichord. - Which was what?

Hell's bells! I saved 525 friggin' dollars.

You didn't put $525 into that couch.

- No? I overdrew the account 200, so that was 200 off. - That's right.

- And that was on little piddly things. - So that's — that's —

- That's $725 you're talking about. - And then I put another 200 in there.

That's $925 you're talking about.

You overdrew by 200, you had 525 to begin with, and you put another 200 in.

That's $925.

Well, I'm not buying any washer and dryer.

I don't care.

You don't want to buy a washer and dryer, that's fine.

- Well, we won't discuss it now. -[ Thunderclap]

- It's already discussed. - No, it's not discussed!

Believe me, it's not discusseq, ‘cause I'm plannin' on it.

Well, you can go ahead and plan on it, but you're not gonna do it.

Well, my money's my money.

- That's all there is to it. - All right. Now, you wanna take that route?

-Your money is your money? -Don't.

- Then therefore my money is my money. - No!

And any money from now on that comes into this house is gonna be decided on by me.

We've gone over this a thousand million times.

And we're going over it right now.

- Well, I'm too tired to discuss it now. -I see.

Well, don't — don't bring it up if you can't finish it off.

[ Chuckling ]

I'm telling ya!

- The thing of it is you mean it. -[ Laughs]

Believe me, I mean it too.

[Sighs] Shit.

Boy, it's pouring down rain.

[ Thunderclap]

[Winding ]

- [Alarm Rings] - Shut up.

[ Glasses Clatter On Table]

Yeah?

Uh, did you want something?

- 1 came over to borrow a cup of sugar. -[ Chuckles]

Well, we're fresh out.

[ Billy Grunts]

Move over any further, you're gonna fall off the bed.

Well, why don't you leave me alone? I'm just getting to read this article.

Why don't you go borrow your whip from the Renee memorial?

Id like to talk to you about religion.

[ Chuckles]

Well?

Well, what are you thinking?

Are you circumcised?

- Get out of here! -[ Laughs]

- Give me my magazine! - No.

- Well, what are you bugging me for? - I came over to neck.

-[ Chuckles ] You stop. - Do you want to neck?

- No, I don't want to neck. - You don't wanna neck?

No, I don't care for it. I don't care for it.

Well, what would you like to do?

- “I want to read my magazine!” - I'd like to read my magazine.

- No. - What do you mean “no” like that?

I mean no.

Well, leave me alone and go read yours!

- No. - Well, why are you looking so weird?

[ Laughing]

- Hey, Billy. - What?

Get over to your own place and give me my magazine.

- Hey, Antoinette. - What?

[ Both Laughing ]

If you want to go on the floor, go on the floor.

You're revoltin'.

Come on!

Will you — Will you leave me alone?

[ Laughing] Goddamn. What?

If you don't go—

- Billy. -Yes?

- Go back — - Yes, Antoinette?

Go back to your place and hand me my magazine, okay?

- Hey, Antoinette. - What?

Stand by. [ Kisses]

[ Antoinette Laughing ]

- How'd that grab you? -Go—ltdidn't.

Okay.

-Come on! -[ Laughing]

[ Antoinette Laughing ] Go away.

[ Birds Chirping ]

[Bogart Crying]

[Sighs]

Oh! Huh?

- Who's this kid? -[ Babbling]

Who's this kid?

Huh?

- Good morning, Bogart. - [Shouting ] Morning!

- Zonk. - I'm being a baby.

Are you being a baby this mornin'?

Bogart, why don't you tell Papa to get up, hmm?

- Mmm. - Yes, I think you should go tell Papa to get up.

[ Whining] Js 7:00?

t's 7.002 No, it's 8:00.

-[ Toilet Flushing ] -[ Bogart ] Hi.

[ Fussing ]

-/ts 8:00. - Huh?

8:00.

It's quarter to.

- ♪ Walking in the garden -[ Laughs]

♪ Like a teddy bear ♪

♪ One step, a-two step ♪

- ♪ A-tickly under there ♪ -[ Shouts, Laughs ]

♪ A-tickly under there

♪ A-tickly under there ♪

[ Man Chattering On Radio]

Billy!

- Breakfast is ready. -[ Man On Radio] 8:29.

Sixty-six degrees. Steady, a lot of sunshine.

Gotta get a message out to you, “Western Union” style.

♪ Pop]

- Ju Man Singing, Indistinct] - Hey, Billy!

- What? - Your breakfast is ready!

I heard you! Why do you keep telling me my breakfast is ready for?

I want you to get started!

Well fuck it! 1 come down when I'm ready!

[ Bogart Babbling]

- Are you all shaved and everything? -Yep.

- Give me egg now, Mommy? - Sit down.

Give me toast and my egg.

Okay, you have a little bit of cereal, and Mama will make you an egg.

I'm going through a period where I'm destroying my feet.

I twist my ankle. I have — I have the corns.

I smash them in the car doors.

I slip on the fucking floor and crush my toe.

- I don't do those — - It means you're having a hard walk through life.

Oh.

[ Antoinette] Hmm?

Only babies cry.

Only babies cry?

That's not true. Who told you that?

- My mommy. - Well, she's wrong.

Everybody cries every now and again.

Babies cry more than anybody else, but everybody cries every now and again.

- Bogart. - Hmm?

You don't have to feel bad if you cry, you know.

It's okay.

I just don't like to see you —

Mommy just doesn't like to see you cry, because that means you're unhappy...

and she doesn't like to see you unhappy.

-[ Billy Groans ] - He doesn't mean me. He means Joy.

I know who he means.

No, I don't like Joy.

-[ Billy] You don't like joy? - No.

I don't know why not. She's terrific. She's very sweet.

- She's a good woman. - She doesn't like me no more.

- What? - She doesn't like me no more.

- Joy doesn't like you? - No.

Oh, Bogart, that's nonsense.

She does like you, Bogart, and she got very worried when you were crying at her house...

and she didn't know why you were crying.

And that's why she said, “Only babies cry.”

Yeah.

- Yeah. - Yeah, she told me that.

Neem? Joy adores you.

She thinks you're a wonderful kid.

Which is only the truth, God knows. [ Kisses]

Ah! Dad

He's funny, eh, with his mustache?

Hmm?

- Mommy? - What, dear?

-Getmeanegg! -It's all cooking now.

And I'm putting it on hot toast for you.

Gonna — Gonna put it on hot toast?

Yeah, warm toast. Warm toast.

[ No Audible Dialogue]

[ No Audible Dialogue]

[Antoinette] We were talking about this, and said...

something about, uh —

Oh, well, Billy thinks that I really dig weak men, very weak men.

- Why did he say — say that? -I don't know.

I... think because it's partly true.

[Laughing] Weak — Not physically weak. You mean —

- No, guys that come off very strong — - Yeah.

that are really intelligent and have a marvelous quality about them and everything.

But then you find out in the end that they're quite weak...

that you can really do a lot with them, you know?

- Yeah. - Which is awful, because as soon as I —

- And you still like them? - As soon as I become superior, that's it.

- Yeah. - 1's finished. It's just finished. It just makes me sick.

Do you think that that's a natural protective instinct on your part?

It might be because there's only been, like, two guys in my life...

that I've ever not felt superior to by the end of the relationship.

Yeah.

And usually quite well into the relationship, like after two or three months —

- How does Billy fit into this? - you'd know whether —

You know, you'd get that feeling.

And then once you get it, I'd just get sick to my stomach, and that's it.

Um, Billy feels, uh —

No, how does — Where do you — You don't consider him a weak man?

Yeah. No, there's things about him that are very weak...

but jt took me a lot longer than two months.

♪ took me four or five years before I saw them.

But they haven't won out over the strength part.

They've been — But you know, when I married Billy, I just thought he was God.

I thought he had the answer to — to everything in the world...

that he knew everything, that he was just —

Which is not fair, ‘cause nobody's like that.

I mean, it was stupid on my part.

Nobody can —

Nobody knows that much, and nobody has that many right answers...

for themselves or for anybody else, and it wasn't fair to Billy.

You know, and he just played it to the hilt.

I mean, he took advantage of the fact that I was like that...

and treated me very much like this business of making me into a princess, you know.

When I married him, he didn't — He hadn't told me he loved me when he married me.

He never said “I love you.” And I married him.

And we had a strong sexual problem then.

The only reason that I did it was I was just so —

- Before you were married? - Before we were married.

-/ thought you were — - No, sir.

I thought it only started out — or that you were aware there might be a problem.

We had a good sexual relationship the first six months that we knew each other.

But you didn't know him much longer than that when you married him, did you?

Knew him almost two years, and lived with him for a year before we got married.

And as soon as he became serious about me, I had dropped all other boyfriends.

I was always available with him. We went out every weekend.

And then it was staying over one night, two nights, three days, four days like that.

And then by the time that I moved in with him, we knew that we had a serious problem —

that he wasn't digging me.

Where I did all those things for him — losing weight...

and buying night dresses and flirting with other guys, all those things —

nothing, nothing helped.

So then finally instead of feeling shitty about myself —

I felt as shitty about myself as I could possibly feel.

About two years ago.

How does Billy feel when he sees you flirting with someone else now?

You think he can enjoy it and you can enjoy it?

- He gets a little jealous, I think, you know, because — - Yeah?

This is the beginning of this brand-new situation.

Because over at, um — over in Maine, you know —

Did I tell you I met this guy that was really great...

and we had a very strong — there was a very strong sexual attraction?

Okay, giant! You're going to get it!

Oh! He got me! Oh! [ Blusters]

- What's the matter, horse? - Oh, he got me!

[ Whinnies] Oh!

[ Whinnies]

- What's the matter, horse? -[ Whinnies, Grunts]

What's the matter, horse? Bang!

[ Affecting Western Accent ] Old Thunder is dead.

Oh, poor old Thunder.

- You wake up, horse. - Wait a minute.

- 1 wanna ride you, horse. - Old Thunder is dead.

I wanna ride you, horse.

Too late. Too late, Son.

You'll have to find another horse.

Old Thunder is dead. [ Blusters]

I'm going to ride you, horse-horse.

[ Antoinette] Could old Thunder please sign this letter?

Horsey! Horsey!

I wanna ride you!

I'm — I'm signing my Blue Cross, kid.

What is this I'm signing?

- It's regarding your Volvo. -l,uh—

I hereby turn over power of attorney with all my money...

to my wife, Antoinette.

-[ Bogart Babbling ] - There you go.

- Keep a carbon? - Yeah.

Supposed to initial that, you know.

No, I don't think we should get a gas stove until we remodel the kitchen...

because the kind of stove I want is like a —

- Until we re-what? - Until we remodel the kitchen.

I want a gas stove that's, like, built into the wall —

an oven that we can cook a whole lamb in, for example.

Oh, for Jesus' sake, Antoinette!

Cook a whole lamb in!

- What? - You know; you're gonna make jt so impossible.

Your dreams of glory about this kitchen are —

You're gonna make it so impossible, it's gonna be 20689...

before we can afford to do it.

♪ won't. We'll make a few mosaic-type of things and tiles all around...

and those Moorish arches and a brick oven in the side that you can do a —

Where do you think it's all gonna go?

You've got a goddamn rabbit hutch in here.

You talk about Moorish arches and expanses and, you know, Cote d'Or designs.

You can build out in the back. You can build out in the back.

- Besides, you can pull this wall in. - Oh, sure.

You can pull this wall in to that window frame right there.

- Pull what wall in to what window frame? - Pull this wall right out.

Then build this wall in and then take it out.

and take that bathroom out, take it right out past the steps.

Sure, right out the back of the garden. There's an endless vista there.

We can just run down a whole series of different kinds of stoves.

One for a whole lamb, one for a leg of lamb...

one fora lamb's head — alittle tiny one like that.

Well, I'm not gonna buy some stupid 23s stove to go in that kitchen.

You want a color-coordinated one?

- No, I want one that goes in the wall! - Yeah, you want a color-coordinated one.

One that's built right on the shelf.

You want one of those goddamn faggot-approved stoves.

No, I don't want anything like in the magazine thing.

Living for Young Homemakers?

No, I'd like the ceiling sort of arched like a shell, you know?

Sure. Oh, yeah, We'll arch the ceiling.

I tell you, if we have any trouble arching the ceiling, getting a nice, graceful Moorish arch in there...

we'll just punch a hole in the floor up above.

- What's up — - Right through Bogart's room.

-/s Bogart's room over the kitchen? - Yeah.

I didn't know that. I think we should change from gas to electricity.

- Why? You think it — - Gas js dangerous. It might blow up.

I didn't know Bogart slept up over there.

Doesn't make any difference. Of course it might blow up.

Plus, you get better cooking from it.

- Well — - We all have to take a little risk in this life.

Jd [Vocalizing I

- Know what one that is? - No.

- That's the seventh. - Oh, that's the one I want.

I want the seventh.

And I want Vivaldi's Four Seasons.

Well, I think you should have every one of them.

The De Paur Infantry Chorus.

Uh, singing what?

They sing things like the Luboff Choir sings.

Why don't you just get the Luboff Choir?

- Get all the original material. - No, I only need the one.

-/ want some Wanda Landowska. - Yeah.

And gotta have that mad Russian.

- Which one? - Rachmaninoff.

Rachmaninoff. Uh-huh.

You want to get “Alice's Restaurant”?

- Not particularly. -/ do.

Well, you get it with your half.

Do you like Country Joe Fish and all that? Jimi Hendrix?

No.

I tell you what I do want.

I want some, um, Frank Sinatra.

I very much want some Frank Sinatra, and Ella Fitzgerald can piss up a rope.

-I couldn't care less if I ever heard her. -I'll send her a wire.

[ Laughing]

Dear Fila, go piss up a rope. Signed, Antoinette.

I'll tell you one thing I would like though — some of those “learning French” records.

Oh, no. No, I'm sorry. No, sir.

No. That is tops on my list of a big waste of money because I know you...

and, cookie, you're not gonna get any of them “learning French” records in.

-'Cause I know what'll happen. - Maybe I could get —

Your vocabulary would not increase as much as the thickness of the dust...

that would fall on the covers of those albums, you know.

I tell you what I would like —

Spanish. Learning Spanish.

Oh, yeah? [ Mutters ] Oh, you want learning Spanish, do you?

- Yeah, because — - No! No. N-O.

Listen, I'll tell you why. Just let me tell you why! Because then I could brush —

- You can tell me why. ♪ isn't gonna do me any good. -It'Il help me brush up on my Spanish.

And then when I do my job at the hospital...

my volunteer job in the psychiatric ward of the hospital —

- Oh, suddeniy — - I'll be able to help the Spaniards that crack up when they come in.

The whole world Js shaping up before my eyes...

all structured on this pile of records...

that you're gonna sit with those plugs in your ears like this.

- Yeah? - Your eyes crossed saying, “Si. jArribal Ah.

jCuidado! Cuidado!”

Yeah. And then I'l] learn. JEN help me remember —

Forget it. Forget it. Honey, that's not your style.

- That's the area I can go in down at the hospital. - That's not your style.

That is not the area that you'd goin down at the hospital.

Down at the hospital, you'd go in the area for bedpans...

but you're not going into that because, I'm telling you, you're not gonna buy the records...

‘cause you won't use them.

- 1 know you won't use them. - The winters are very long.

The winters are indeed long...

but there are better things to do with them than to allow dust to gather on them...

leaving them over in the corner with that new vacuum cleaner.

Say, how's that working?

I called Simpson's, and I think they're going to replace the hose.

- Now, what are we gonna — - Did you use it yet?

Yes. I did this whole house with the vacuum cleaner, upstairs and down, including the stairs.

- Did ya? - 1 did it with the various attachments and everything.

- Did you like it? -lintend to do it twice a week.

- Did you like it? - Yes, I did, as much as anybody can like a vacuum cleaner.

JW [Antoinette Vocalizing ]

♪ Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band ♪

-[ Bogart Laughs ] - Jd [Vocalizing I

-Don'tdoit. - Yes, you know what one I mean.

- Now, what cut do you want? - Right at the end of band four, please.

Jo [Rock] - One, two, three four!

JES Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band ♪

♪ We hope you have enjoyed the show ♪

♪ Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band ♪

♪ We're sorry, but it's time to g0 ♪

♪ Sgt Pepper's Lonely Sgt. Pepper's Lonely ♪

♪ Sgt Pepper's Lonely ♪

♪ Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band ♪

♪ We'd like to thank you once again ♪

♪ Sgt Pepper's one-and-only Lonely Hearts Club Band ♪

JUS getting very near the end

♪ Sgt Pepper's Lonely Sgt. Pepper's Lonely ♪

♪ Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band ♪

Whoo!

♪ [Ends]

[Bogart] I'm going — Two. Four!

-/ go around two, four, Mom. - You see that? It shouldn't do that.

- Well, something's wrong. - One, two!

-/ts not faulty. It's not — - Three!

- We don't understand it right yet, I guess. - Well, look, honey.

I've seen that with other record players, and it's something to do with the —

Put that thing down over there to the left that holds the records.

- What, this? - That thing.

- 1 mean, will that do anything? - No.

- This is now the last record, right? - Right.

- There's no other ones on top of there. - No.

So if I put this on, this goes to the end here.

- Yeah. - It should swing over and cut off.

[Bogart] Three! One, two.

- And it doesn't, you see? - [ Loud Popping ]

- Why is that? - Because it's the bottom record.

And all bottom records always start in the middle?

- ♪ He didn't notice that the lights had changed -[ No Audible Dialogue]

JA crowd of people stood and stared

♪ They'd seen his face before

♪ Nobody was really sure ifhe was from the House of Lords ,~

♪ saw a film today, oh, boy ♪

♪ The English army had just won the war

JA crowd of people turned away ♪

♪ But] had just had to Jook ♪

♪ Having read the book

Jd Jove to turn you on ♪

♪ [ Orchestra: Crescendo]

♪ [Crescendo Continues ♪

JW Piano]

Ju Fades]

I'm as transparent as rhinestone.

[ Exhales I

-/ just want a few things in life. - What's that?

Success.

- Yeah. What else? - Money.

- What else? - Fame.

- What else? - Fame is the one I want more than anything else.

Fame.

- Not me. I want to have — -You're such a liar.

You're such a liar!

You think I want fame more than anything else in the world?

Yeah, you — Well, you want a certain kind of fame.

You want a fame that when you walk down the street...

everybody looks at you and says — [ Whispers ] “There she goes.”

There she goes what?

“There she goes, the elegant Mrs. Edwards.

- No. - “See her. Her feet don't touch the ground.

Her dainty feet don't touch the ground.”

- I don't want them to say that. - Sure you do.

-ldon't. - And you want the guys to all say...

- “I love her. I adore her. -l want —

I can never have her ‘cause her feet barely touch the ground.”

No, I want men and women alike to say...

“Oh, I just I love her.” Like that.

And then I'd like them to say...

“Why couldn't I be like that?”

They'd say that about me.

And then guys would really crave me, you know?

- Then you can brush them off. -I don't want to brush them off.

- Like flies. - I'd just like them to crave me.

Yeah, but you don't want them to do anything. And you don't want to do anything with them.

- Who said? Who says? - Cause that's what you've always said.

Get out of here!

[ Laughing] Get out of here!

[ Laughing]

[Antoinette Shouts ]

[Laughs] Hi-yah!

You've broken me rib cage.

I don't know what you intend to do now! Hey, Billy.

You're changing classes. You're also changing beds. Get in there.

No, I want to sleep in my own bed tonight.

- 1 want to sleep in my own bed. - Get in there.

Hey, now, Billy, we had a very nice evening, and I just want to sleep in my own bed.

Come on.

-Come on. -[ Chuckles ]

- Well, now you've made me feel stupid. - Why?

You go “Come on” like that.

I'm trying to get you into bea. That's what I'm trying to do.

I don't care what method I use, as Jong as it works.

-/ mean, you say you didn't want — - This is no sexual thing, you know.

I just would like to be in my own bed.

-/ know. I'd like you here — - Okay, well, I don't want you to get it twisted.

[Laughs] I'm not getting it twisted.

Why don't you like me in my own bed once in a while?

- Well — - You used to let me in there all the time.

- That's like saying — - You used to let me stay there for a week.

Yeah, but I'm not gonna do that anymore. That's bullshit.

- What do you mean bullshit? -/ts bullshit, for Christ's sake! We're married!

- 1 don't see that that has anything to do with it. -/t has an awful Jot to do with it.

You know, you go one way or the other.

Ifyou want — Ifyou want to spend your time in another bedroom...

then you should go someplace else and do it.

When I first knew you, you said to me, “That's the answer right there.

You've gotia have separate bedrooms.”

Well, listen, when you first knew me, I was 30 —

- Four. - 33, 34 years old and unhinged.

Well, I'm only 30, and I'm not unhinged.

Well, you've got a long way to go.

Jo [Slow Drumbeats ]

Right, left.

Right, left.

Around, two, three.

Step to the front, and plié. Thank you, Vernie Ann.

Is he there, please?

Listen, you make me go home and rewrite all my bloody ads...

and then when I've done what you — exactly what you've told me to do...

then I can't get you.

I know you've been very busy today. I've been chasing you all day.

All right, listen. I got a piece of copy here.

Okay? This is on Milt Dunnell. I'll read it to you.

The headline says in Russian, “He shoots, he scores,” right?

So the copy reads that's — “He shoots, he scores” in Russian.

“And that's Milt Dunnell, our sports editor, under the cap.

“Milt knows hockey in every country where they've got ice.

“He knows Howe and Hull and Orr...

but he also knows Jesse Owens, Barbara Ann Scott, Jack” —

Will you stop laughing till I'm finished?

“But he also knows Jesse Owens, Barbara Ann Scott, Jack Kramer...

“Muhammad Ali and Nancy Greene.

“He knows the handlers and the exercise boys...

“the coaches and the doctors...

“the trainers, the touts, the toadies.

“But knowing them means a great deal more than just watching them.

“Anyone can watch.

“It means getting them to open up to him after the action.

“It's called absolute trust, and he gets it.

“How does he do it? That's his little workaday secret.

“How well does he do it?

Sports fan, that's your little daily treat.”

That's, uh —

That's my fifth rewrite, I'll have you know.

Yeah. Sure I am. Why, don't you like it?

I like it.

- Hey, Neem? -[ Bogart ] Mmm.

Here, put that over here.

Come on.

[ Plate Clanks ]

Here, just put that there. You can play with that, if you want.

Play with that.

Cock-a-doodlle-do!

Well, what — what happened with the car?

Why didn't you manage to get to the place? What happened?

WeJl, I didn't leave Simpson's office till 20 minutes to 5:00.

And then I went and looked at a grand piano with my mom's family.

Well, what about this morning?

Christ, I didn't have any time this morning before / left.

Shirley came at 1:30.

Allan left here at quarter to 11:00.

After I left the grand piano, I went to the Greek... store...

to buy some stuff.

- And then I went to the Italian store to buy some — - Where was the grand piano?

Lonsdale.

It's not very far away.

Out by Upper Canada College.

What were you looking at a grand piano for?

To see about buying it.

No.

Well, the thing I — you know, that really pisses me off...

is one of the things that you hit me with this morning —

the reason I shouldn't have the car...

is that you had to go and pick up the meat for Merton.

So what the fuck do you do? You go down and look at a grand piano.

[Chuckles ]

What are you laughing at?

-'Cause it's like in a joke. -/ts not a joke.

I said, it's like /n a joke. I didn't say it was like a joke.

E's not even like in a joke, and it's not funny. Come on.

[Bogart] Dad!

Dad! Dad! Dad! Mama!

I don't give a damn. It's funny. It's like a thing —

- Well, I fuckin' don't give a damn! - Lookin' at a grand piano.

It's the kind of thing you say all the time — “I was carrying a case of soft drinks.

- What do you think I'm doing? Looking at a grand piano.” - Okay. All right.

The comeqly hour is over. Let's get back on it. What the hell were you doing?

This morning you said, “I've gotta have the car. I've gotta have the car.

[ve got all these things that I have to do.” Which I assumed you had to do with the car.

-/ did. - You went to go look at a fuckin' grand piano!

And the one thing you said you were gonna do was get the meat for the dog...

which you didn't even do 'cause you're too fuckin' busy going and looking at a piano.

-/t was rush hour by then, and wasn't gonna go downtown. - That's just shit. Oh, rush hour. Shit.

Why didn't you go first?

- What, before 1:30? - Of course. Why not?

-I didn't have time. - Why didn't you have time?

- You're burning your hamburgers. - 1 was doing stuff here in the house until then.

There were two or three phone calls, and I had stuff to do in the house.

[Billy] Yeah, when did you look at the piano?

- What time was that? - 5:00.

“Horse in farm.”

Well, that must be this one.

-Yes? - That one?

- Yeah. I gotta get up. - Yeah.

Well, you can get up, and I'll bring your horse in from the other room.

Well, are you ready to talk now?

About what?

Well, about the car. I think we should get that thing settled.

All right.

Let me brush my teeth.

WeJj, jt seems to me that, you know, the dog is a dog, and he has to be fed.

- He's supposed to eat every night. - 1 know.

-/fwe don't get him the food, he doesn't eat. - No.

- He has five steaks a week. - Well, then get him something else. I don't give a —

He doesn't have to eat steak all the time. I don't give a damn what you get.

But the other thing is, regardless of the dog, ifyou —

You know damn well if we don't get the steaks at that place on Tuesday or Wednesday...

that they run out.

Well / don't — I don't have anything to say about jt.

except I didn't get the time to get down there, and that's all there was to it.

Yeah, well, okay, uh, let's get into the car thing.

Okay. Into the car thing.

I thought we had solved that car thing, and we have not solved it at all.

- That car thing has never been solved. - Well —

- Let me be perfectly clear. - Okay.

The purpose of that car is a convenience to get me to work.

Ifyou want to drive me down to work, 1 think that's terrific.

Ifyou don't want to do it, well, then that's too bad.

I'm gonna take the car.

- 50, it's always in your favor? - No, it's not always in my favor.

- If it's not convenient for me to drive you to work? -No, itisn't No, itisn't.

Ifit's not convenient for me to drive you to —

Ifit's convenient for me to drive you to work, which it never is.

It's always an inconvenience, and you know that, but you refuse to accept it.

If I have to drive you to work, okay.

If there's something that comes dead clash into it...

so that it is impossible for me to drive you to work...

then you'll take the car.

Well, it seems to me that's all your way.

No, it isn't all my way, because what I'm trying to figure out js —

~All] want is to be — is to get down to work. - Driven to work!

- Exactly at the time you want to be there! - All right. Exactly.

Now you've hit the fuckin' thing right on the head.

- When I want to be there. I'm the one that goes to work. - Yep.

I'm the one that goes down there and draws the money that pays for this goddamn place...

and everything in it.

And sometimes I don't like to go to work, and sometimes I choose to be late...

and if choose to be late, that's my choice, not yours.

-And it's when I — - You're always late. Always ate!

- So what? - Not sometimes “when I choose.”

- So what? So what? - You are always late!

What business is that of yours?

You got fired from DeGarmo. You got fired from, uh —

I didn't get fired from DeGarmo for being late.

-/ quit DeGarmo to go to Spain. - You got fired from Ben Sackheim.

I didn't get fired from Ben Sackheim for being late.

You were always late. You told me that that's why you were fired.

No, not from Ben Sackheim.

The next place up there — I don't know what it was called. Up on —

- Oh, Don, uh — - Madison — Don Geller or somebody.

I don't know who the fuck it was. You were late there all the time. You got fired.

1 think my inability to get laid had something to do with it.

I also think the fact that they fost the biggest account they had...

had something to do with it.

But so what?

You see, the thing is, you're mixing the two things together.

- You're taking — No, no. -/ don't want you to get fired. What, it's all —

Let me tell you what you're doing.

-/ don't like you just treating me like I'm a fucking chauffeur around here. - All right. Then don't do it. Don't do it.

“Don't do jt” means I don't have the car...

and then I have to take Bogart on a 25-minute walk over to the babysitter.

Okay. You've got a very clear-cut choice then.

What is the trouble that once in a while you can't take the fuckin' subway down there?

E's not — You know why? Because I don't choose to.

- Yeah. Well, then take a cab. - And because I make enough —

- Today you could've taken a cab — - Because I make enough money.

and today you went bullshit when I wouldn't sit in the car and wait for you for 20 minutes while you went to that school.

It wasn't that. Jt wasn't that.

Yeah. It means that you are putting me down all the time...

that you expect me to be at your beck and call, and your attitude js —

- 1 don't expect you to be at my beck and call. - You don't give a fuck if it screws me up or it doesn't screw me up.

You don't care as Jong as I cart you down there.

All right, you want to put it that way, that's fine with me.

That's what it is, and that's what it's all about.

No, itisn't, and I'm not gonna — I've told you three times.

I've told you a hundred times what it is, and you choose to see it as a put-down for you.

If you want to do that, that's fine...

but I don't want your goddamned emotions spilling all over me in the morning.

- You just want me to take your orders. - It's tough enough — It's tough —

- That's what you want. - It's got nothing to do with orders!

- If you don't want to take them, don't do it. - It all comes out your way!

Because the whole thing starts from me!

Every goddamn thing, every material thing that you have in this world...

and every goddamn thing that that vacumatic little body of yours wants...

Js gotten through me.

- You have the power over everything. -/ts got nothing to do with power!

- And that's the way it goes. -/t has got nothing to do with power.

- But jfyou choose to put it on a power level, 11 put it on a power evel. - That's how you're putting it.

You're saying right now, “It all stems from me. It all comes from me.”

You're goddamn right it does.

And it's because I go down there to work.

Late or not, I go down there to work...

and I make the money that does the things in this house.

And therefore I should be under your beck and call regardless of the inconvenience to me?

- If you choose to put it that way, that's fine. - Well, that's what it is, Billy!

When I say to you, “Will you get out of the fucking bed” for the fourth time in the morning.

[ve got to be somewhere at 9:00.

We've got to leave this place at 8:30...

and I call you at 7:30 and 20 of 8:00...

and quarter of 8:00 and 8:00, and you're still not up...

and then I go bullshit!

You jump on me because I go bullshit.

We get to the place — I have to take you down there...

and I'm late for wherever I'm supposed to be.

And I'm just supposed to take it.

- Why? -/ don't know.

- Because you pay for it? - Yeah.

- Well, piss on that! - Well, then you don't get the car.

Well, don't tell me you're not lording it over me then...

that you go to work, and that I'm not your servant under the thing.

I'll make it even simpler to you. I don't care.

You seem to think that because you do this, you're some kind of a servant.

- The reason that you're doing jt — Listen! - You treat me like a servant! You doit! You say to me —

No, / don't treat — You seem to think that the reason I'm late in the morning, the reason I delay...

Js because jt has something to do with you!

- It has nothing to do with you! - That's the whole point.

♪ has nothing to do with me. You do it as you want to, whether it's inconvenient, convenient.

You couldn't care Jess about jt.

You do it in your own time and your own way, according to your own feelings!

You don't want to drive me to work. That's what the whole thing springs from.

Doesn't spring necessarily from my being late or anything.

Do you know how many times and all the inconvenience you have always caused me?

When Bogart was two months old and we lived in Willowdale...

and I had to bundle him up and drive you to work.

- You never said thank you once in your whole damn life! - Yeah, sure.

And when we fought about this before, I said to you...

“If you would only show some appreciation for the extra effort I make” —

And you said, “No. I deserve it. I expect it. That's the way it is!”

Well, don't tell me that's not talking to me as if I'm some kind of a stupid, dumb servant.

WeJl, because you choose to treat yourselfiike a servant.

- Well, what do you think it's treating me like? - You choose to treat yourself as a servant!

- What do you think it's treating me like? -/ don't consider jt treating you as a servant any more —

Why do you — You just deserve it. You need it and what?

Okay. Then I'm your servant.

- Ifyou put — I'm your servant. - No, I'm the one that puts myself out for you.

I go down to work every day, and I make money.

And I make money to put money and food and clothes and grand pianos...

and all the other shit that you want...

and to put my kid through school and to feed the dog...

and every other goddamn thing that's hanging on my back...

and is hanging on every other husband's back.

I'm your servant, kid.

And what bugs me js that you are involving yourselfand making presumptuous judgments...

about whether I should be to work on time in the morning.

And don't give me that shit about you're worried about me losing my job.

You always Jose your job.

I have not lost a job for being late for five years, for Christ's sake.

That's because you didn't work three of them...

and you've only had one other job since then, which you Jost.

All right. No, it's more than that. It's six years.

And four of those years I have worked.

I have worked now in advertising back here in Toronto for four years.

Well, we've only lived here two and a half so you've done bloody fucking well, haven't you?

- No. - Bogart's only three in November!

50 how could you have worked in Toronto for four years?

- Well, my mathematics isn't very good. - [Sighs]

But ever since I ve come back from Tor— uh, to, uh, Toronto...

I've been in two agencies. I'm doing very well, for Christ's sake.

What are you talking about, worried ifl'm gonna get fired because I'm late?

All I'm telling you is, ifyou want to do Your part to ensure that I keep that job...

Js to get me down to work in the morning.

That's the only thing I want.

- You think there's any truth in that? - No.

- Well, what do you think it is? - [Phone Rings]

[Ringing]

Hello.

Hi.

Huh? No.

[ Chuckles]

Oh. I forgot all about that.

Yeah. Okay.

[ Chuckling] All right.

Fine. Good-bye.

Who's that that put such a strange tone in your voice?

[ Mutters]

WeJl, I've never heard you talk like that.

- Who was that? - [Antoinette Sighs ]

You get pissed off when I say that to you.

I'm not telling you not to get pissed off.

Never mind.

Well, I'm gonna take a shot in the dark.

Mm-hmm?

While you were talking on that phone, you had a very strange tone —

-Mm-hmm? -[ Dog Howling In Distance]

the kind of tone you usually have when you're embarrassed.

-So I suspect it's some guy. - Mm-hmm?

Now, it's perfectly all right for some guy to call you...

but why are you so embarrassed?

[Antoinette Chuckling ]

-Am I right? - [Laughs]

I don't know.

[Billy Sighs ]

[ Match Box Clattering ]

- You be careful, eh? -[ Laughing]

Mm-hmm.

Well —

The car thing is clear.

- Sure. - Yeah. Okay.

[TV Playing Upstairs, Indistinct]

[Sneezes ]

[ Object Clatters ]

I'll give you a thing like that, and you just start. Okay?

[Boy] “Heinz Spaghetti got neat tomato sauce.”

“Not ‘neat.' No.

The flavor of Heinz Spaghetti sauce would be described as ‘mouth-watering.”

- “It's neat.” - “A poem to one's taste buds.”

- “It's neat! It's neat!” - “How crass.

“The words are ‘delicious,' ‘tempting,' ‘enriching.'

- They're the proper words.” - “Neat, neat, neat.”

“Boys, boys. Anyway, all children love the tomato flavor of Heinz Spaghetti.

Right, lads?”

[Boy #2] “You keep out of this.”

[ Laughing]

- “How I Spent My Summer Vacation.” -[ Bogart Singing ]

- One of the interesting things is looking at them — - Mommy!

and seeing which ones are good and which are bad.

And I think I have a good picture of your mother.

[Laughing ]1 have such a horror of looking like her, I can't stand jt.

You think you look like her?

WeJl, I have some of her mannerisms once in a while. Jt bugs me.

That's true. Well, we're gonna get rid of those.

Oh, we'll just wipe those right out, eh?

- In the new regime. - Mmm.

- Taking over, are you, Edwards? - [Murmurs ] Hmm?

- There's gonna be a new thing coming in. - What new thing?

- A new program. - What's that?

I don't know. I haven't worked jt out yet, but it's coming in.

- Yeah, well, it's not gonna be with me. -/ts got — Oh, yes, itis.

The hell itis.

- What kind of thing? - You're about 80% of it.

Well, it's gonna be a whole new program of discipline...

and sensitivity, of warmth, understanding.

- Cleanliness. - Cleanliness how?

- Friendship. - Cleanliness how?

- Who doesn't wash? - Emotional cleanliness.

It's got nothin' to do with your body. I don't care what your body is like.

- Emotional cleanliness. - What does that mean?

Spiritual Lux, we're gonna sprinkle around.

You can just go to hell, ‘cause I'm over that “turn me into a princess” business.

-/ know. I'm not gonna turn you into a princess. -[ Liquid Pouring ]

Then you're starting no new regimes around here.

I worked hard enough at turning you into a princess —

-[Scoffing ] - and look what J got.

So /'m not interested in turning you into a princess.

I'm interested in shaping and bringing out not you, not me —

- What? - but us.

- Well, you're full of shit. -/'m not.

-II'm quite serious. - And you think you can do it, eh?

- [Table Rattles] -Yes!

WeJl, you're not doing it with me.

- You wanna bet? - No, I'm not betting.

I'm just telling you, you're not doing it with me.

- Why are you so defensive? - Because I hate that business.

- What? - Ofyou melting me, molding me —

I'm not gonna melt you and mold you. I'm not interested in that.

I just told you that. There's gonna be a whole new program.

- Us as a unit, we're gonna do some kind of thing. - No, no, no.

- I'm not gonna go like this. I'm not gonna do that to you. - What?

I'm going to put out a kind of.

spiritual radar...

that is gonna permeate the whole house.

- Oh my God. - And you'll be changing in spite of yourself.

Mm-hmm.

[ Chuckling ]

Something's burning.

Your brains.

[Loons Calling]

[ Billy Murmurs ]

[ Whimpering ]

[Billy] Let's get him over here.

Good mornin', Bogart.

Good morn — Good morning, Mama.

[ Antoinette Laughs ]

[Billy] Good morning, Bogart.

Good morning, Papa.

- [Billy] Put him in here. - Wanna come into bed?

[Billy] Before I melt.

[ Antoinette] Oh. Merton.

You're squashing my feet.

[Billy] Can't have everything.

-[ Antoinette] Hi. - Hi.

[ Antoinette] Are we gonna sleep down here right along...

or up in the beds?

-Hmm? -I don't care.

We can sleep upstairs if you want. Doesn't matter.

There was some reason we're sleeping down here.

- [ Antoinette ] What, last night? - Oh, no.

- It was all made up. - Well, that wasn't —

That was part of it, but the reason for putting it here was because —

- The fireplace. - The fireplace.

And the romanticism of going to sleep with the fire.

Well, we could do with a little of that.

What, romanticism or fire?

Romanticism. [ Exhales]

Hey, honey, you're pulling the blankets off me.

-I'm not. Merton is. - Merton isn't moving.

Well, he's got "em pinned.

- Come here. - [Snaps Fingers I

- How's your back feel? - Oh, it's much better.

Come here.

You think you'll be able to swim?

-Sure. - Yeah?

That's good.

I'm in the boat, Mom.

Don't you want to come in the water?

- Bogart. -Hmm?

Don't you want to come in the water?

Papa not going far.

[Billy] Oh, geez.

I'm scared. It's cold.

Yeah. Here comes the sun.

There's only one way to do this.

-[Shrieks] - [Billy Laughing]

- Hey, Neem. - Huh?

Look at the fish. Little tiny fish.

- Come on, Neem. - 1 went under!

- Swim. -[ Laughing 11t's cold!

- [Bogart Crying] -[ Shouts]

-It's all right, Bogart. - [Billy Gasps ]

It's all right, darling.

[ Bogart Shouts ]

[ People Chattering, Laughing]

[Bogart] Are you making a party?

Yes, we're making a party now. This is it. It's happening right now.

There aren't going to be any more kids...

and there aren't going to be any presents and no cake.

It's just gonna be people having a good time talking to each other and drinking.

That's the kind of party it is, hon.

- And going to be cake? - No, there isn't gonna be any cake.

[ Woman Laughing ]

[Man] Gloriosky! I'm a total atheist.

[ Chattering Continues ]

[Man] Well, I'm learning. I'm learning how — what that means.

[ Continues, Indistinct]

[ Man, Chuckling] I think it's, uh, the change of life.

[ Antoinette] Yeah.

It's a big thing. Being 30 is a big thing.

- Being 351s — - Yes, being 30 is a big thing.

Thirty-five is very important.

When you're 40, yeah, you go out of your mind.

- Maybe. - Yeah.

Did you ever live anyplace outside New York?

Nope. Never lived anyplace outside of New York.

God, that's so full.

- Where — Do you live in Manhattan? - Yeah. Yeah, right in the middle.

- We live very quietly. - Where?

Some day, if] ever have my own house, I think I would like all little rooms with doors.

Yeah? Like a little rabbit warren.

- Yeah. I'd like some privacy. - Yeah.

Which I don't have now and I don't miss.

But I know, when I'm old, I'll miss it.

How long have you been married?

Well, we've been together eight years.

[ Both Laughing ]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.

Well, it's not the same kind of thing, but it's important, you know.

Like you say, “I've been married a year and a half,” that says something.

But if you've been together for eight years, that says something else.

[Man] Maybe. [ Chuckles ]

Yes, maybe. Not necessarily.

[Man #2] The Thirty Years' War was started by —

[ Antoinette] I mean, there's a lot — It's very different to be together than to be married.

- Yeah, maybe. - It's awhole different thing.

-I don't know about that. - Oh, yeah, it is.

I think that piece of paper is psychological myself.

I don't. We lived together for about a year...

and as soon as we were married, it was a different thing.

- Do you sleep by yourself mostly, or do you — - 1 sleep by myself mostly.

And occasionally —

No. No, I would say 50% we sleep together.

Does Billy call you when he —

Oh, beats down the door and all that kind of beautiful stuff like that.

Do you have a door that has the hinges break?

Yes, one of those things.

- [Laughing ] That's nice. - No, actually —

Do you have a bedroom that you both go to together when you wanna see each other?

Yes. He has a room.

We have a room together, you see, with a big double — king-size bed.

[ People Chattering]

[Antoinette ] How can another person ever fulfill all those kind of things?

♪ can't. I can't provide jt for Billy.

I get very upset when he doesn't look for it in other people —

the things that he's missing.

And he doesn't, you know.

I wish he would go look more and not be unhappy about specific things.

There are specific things I know I can never come through with.

In a million years, I can't provide them. Not for him.

Maybe I could provide them for somebody else.

It would work with somebody else in those areas.

You know what I mean? But it won't work with him.

And if he really wants those other things, he should find them some other place.

And that would be okay.

There's a lot of people in the world.

[Laughing] You don't have to have them all though.

Not all of them, but why do you have to have just one of them?

[ Man, Chuckling] Yeah?

Where are you?

-[ Man] Oh, we went through a whole uh, marriage — - [Antoinette] Yes.

and about 30 years of history and, uh —

- 1 saw her coat of arms. - So where are you now?

Yes, we're now at the psychiatrist.

I want to know why I've said as much to her as I've said to her...

and why she's said as much to me as she's said to me.

We're very deeply into each other's lives.

- You empathize. - [ Whispers, Indistinct ]

Huh? You were gonna give me something about the sign.

- Right? The stars. - No. I'm not on that thing.

- No. -[Chuckling ]

Have a wheat muffin — [ Laughing]

made of squash.

- You know where we are? - I'm not into that.

No, I think I'm gonna leave you.

I think I'm gonna let you talk.

-[ Man] Tell me why. - Why you told me all that stuff?

- Yeah. -/ don't know.

- What's your sign? - Mine? Sagittarius.

JW Mozart: From Magic Flute]

[Man] ♪ Indiesen heil'gen Hallen ♪

- ♪ Kennt man die Rache nicht -[ No Audible Dialogue]

♪ Und ist ein Mensch gefallen ♪

♪ Fuhrt Liebe ihn zur Pflicht ♪

♪ Dann wandelt er an Freundes Hand ♪

♪ Vergnlgt und froh ins beBre Land ♪

♪ Dann wandelt er ♪

♪ An Freundes Hand ♪

♪ Vergnlgt und froh

♪ Ins beRre Land ♪

♪ Dann wandelt er ♪

♪ An Freundes Hand ♪

♪ Vergnlgt und froh

♪ Ins beRre Land ♪

♪ Ins bere ♪

♪ Ins beRre Land ♪

♪ [Ends]

[Glass Clinks I

[ Vacuum Cleaner Whirring

[ Billy Speaking, Indistinct]

What?

- Js that as far as it will stretch? - No.

I would suggest pulling it up before jt pulls out.

- [Vacuum Cleaner Stops I - What is it?

You're gonna pull it out of the socket.

Oh, just fucking hide.

- You talking to me? - Yes, I'm talking to you!

You stupid cunt! For Chrissake, what the fuck is the matter with you?

You don't even know how to use the goddamn thing.

Why don't you do it! You're so smart.

Don't pull it! Leave it alone.

Leave it alone!

Now come here. You just did that deliberately.

In another two seconds, that thing would have pulled.

It was stretched very tight there.

And I was trying to help you, and you just jerked it and jerked it until it —

it fucked up and pulled itself out so you could get mad.

Now, there.

[Vacuum Cleaner Whirring ]

I'm comin' in.

No, honey. Get away from here with that goddamn thing...

till I get this finished, will you?

[ Vacuum Cleaner Stops ]

- [Billy] What? - 1 don't know why you just won't let me do things in my own way!

I'll tell you why. Because the fucking records will be hanging around here for weeks.

Stephen and Mary Kay don't come around here that often, and you know what's gonna happen.

They'll be just sitting here for weeks.

I think it's terrific you're taking the stuff back.

I don't know why you can't doit all at once.

The point js that you won't just take what I tell you...

when I just tell you I don't wanna do it now.

It's inconvenient, and that's all there js to jt.

Why you don't say, “Well, in the next couple of days, try to get the records back”?

Why you don't just say that?

Why you have to keep pushing me and pushing me about jt...

and make a big argument?

- Because your answer didn't make any sense. -To you!

Because you're not the one who's going. It makes sense to me.

I'm the one who's going and knows what I want to do.

And you're the one that's going, and you're the one that is taking the stuff back.

Now, ifyou're gonna take the stuff back, take jt back.

It can't possibly cost you more than five minutes.

You don't have to go up and talk.

You're driving a fuckin' car.

You drive the car down there, you stop the car, you go up and say, “Here are your records. Thank you very much.”

And you turn around and come downstairs again.

How much time does that consume driving the car?

Ifyou were doing it and that's how you wanna do it, okay.

You return records like that.

But if! did it I know 10-to-], I would park the car...

- lake the records under my arm, go up to their place — - Yeah.

talk to them for a few minutes and come back down...

- and get in the car and go about my business. - But the thing is, why do that?

If the thing is that you're pressed for time and you're worried about time, you don't do that.

You just deliver the goddamn records, which is what the purpose of —

- It's not that important. - Well, it obviously is that important, isn't it?

- We've been talking about it for 10 minutes. - You're the one who's made a big thing out of it.

"Cause you won't accept it that I just say I'm not gonna do it.

♪ doesn't make any sense. That's why.

- Tough titty! - What do you mean “tough titty”?

You're taking the goddamn car In order to bring things back...

that people brought and gave to us.

You have an obligation as much to the Patricks as anybody else.

Naturally, the other two girls need the things more.

It's only five records or something and —

And five minutes to do it.

It's not five minutes! Goddamn you! It's not five minutes!

tis five minutes!

♪ may not be five minutes to you ifyou could keep your fuckin' mouth shut long enough.

All you've gotta do is walk up the stairs and give "em the records.

I'm not taking the records back, ever. Fer.

- You're responsible for them. - No, I'm not.

- You made a big fucking thing out of it. - No, you're taking them back.

- Some — Jerk. - You're taking them back.

You've spent all afternoon trying to arrange this —

Get the fuck out of here! Just get out of here!

[ Metal Cans Clattering]

Get up. Take these goddamn things with you. Come on. Take em.

Take em!

You leave me alone and you get in that goddamn house right now!

- You just take that stuff and get out. - Don't touch me.

I'll break your fucking hand.

Jd [ TV: Program Theme, Up-tempo]

♪ [Fades Out]

[ Male Announcer] Television is Gentle Ben, Thursdays this fall on CBC.

She was 17 years old when she made her first recording.

And now, at 24, Brenda Lee reviews her career on Show of the Week, tomorrow night.

[Bogart] Mom, go get my fork.

I gave you your fork, dear.

It should be there.

I saw a couple of nice things at Ward-Price.

What did you see?

I saw a marble — [Clears Throat]

pedestal, I guess.

It's about that wide across and about that deep.

About that high. That high.

And it's marble, and it's got two pillars.

[Bogart] Mom, that hot?

And a double pedestal down like that. Beautiful.

- [Bogart] Mom? That hot? - Mm-hmm.

You and] going to ride a horse, Mom?

No, not for a little while.

Where would you put jt?

Beside my bed.

There was an antique mahogany spinet — a piano that's square.

And all carved. ♪ was just beautiful.

All the keys strike.

Ofcourse, it's way out of tune.

I don't know how much into tune ♪ could be brought.

E's part of a keyboard. E's not the whole thing.

E's about like a harpsichord keyboard.

It'll probably be a fortune, "cause it's a real piece, you know?

- But jt was easier to talk about this than anything else. - Than silence.

- That's why I'm telling you. - 1 know. I understand that.

But I can't get wildly enthusiastic about it.

[ Bogart Shouting ]

What are the things we're supposed to be getting now?

We've got the rug, and we've got the sofa, and we've got the stereo.

Now, what are the other things we're supposed to be getting?

Nothing important. Only as we see it from now on.

Um, well, I thought there was some concern about the stove.

No.

[Bogart] Pow!

I think we put up with that stove till right to the very end.

[Bogart] shit. I shit.

we'll put up with it till the end of our lives.

-/ shit! - Where'd you shit?

Is he lying?

There's something there.

I don't — I don't know.

Neem, what is that on the floor?

- Shit. - No, it's not.

Yeah.

This shit.

Are you kidding me?

Bring me that piece of shit.

- Okay. - Use paper.

No. I'm gonna put this —

I'm gonna put this in the toilet.

- Let's see. - Okay.

- That's shit. - It certainly is.

Put your hand out. Put your hand out.

- Go and dumpitin the toilet. -I'll put it—

- Okay, I'll dump it in the toilet. - 1 thought he was kidding.

That's why I said you better get paper.

We need a washer and dryer, but I don't wanna panic about that...

until I know that we're gonna have another kid.

[Clears Throat] Well, what's your position on that?

- [ Bogart Shouting ] - What, on having another kid?

- Yes. - Well, I'll lie on my back.

Well, you certainly have a... poetic way of putting it.

-[ Chuckles] - [Bogart Chattering ]

The reason I ask the question —

- 1 know how it's done functionally. -Mm-hmm.

- The reason I ask the question was because — - [ Bogart Shouting, Running Off]

two nights ago, you said you didn't want to have another child.

Well, I didn't.

Well, what's changed your mind?

Well, I don't know how long I'll last with you, for one thing.

And I don't want to have two kids and be by myself.

Oh, well, that's a different thing.

It's all part of it.

[ Billy Clears Throat]

Well.

I'm really bewildered.

It just seems like every time we get on some kind of a goddamn...

plateau of understanding...

the next second, we're screaming and kicking.

And it's, uh — it's hateful.

And you're — you're right in a sense when...

you wonder how long we're gonna be together.

Because we just don't seem to get anywhere.

No.

All] could think of in the car was, I thought —

You know, my first reaction was that I would —

When I was in the car, like, before I got in the car...

was to come back in the house and get the rest of the food money so I could leave.

And then I was afraid to come back in the house.

- Why? - "Cause I was afraid you'd hit me...

you'd go for me at the bottom of the stairs.

Yeah? Well, I might have. I don't know.

So I looked in my purse in the car and I had $15 and my checkbook...

so I figured I was okay.

[Sighs]

And I thought I'd just go to the places that I said I would...

and not say anything to anybody — [ Yawning ]

- How Jong did that last? -and go —and go to the movies...

and then go stay in a hotel.

But then I decided not to do that.

Why?

"Cause I didn't even feel bad about it then.

I felt like there wasn't anything to win or lose or prove or anything.

Just... the hell with it.

But what I really felt...

was that I was really sorry that I said this morning that I loved you.

I thought, you gotta be the biggest schmuck there is in the world.

[Siren Wailing In Distance]

I think it's that neither one of us knows where we stand...

and neither one of us knows where the other stands.

And, you know, if we were clear —

All right, if I was clear...

and sure of myself... as a man...

a husband and a father...

then you wouldn't be confused.

And maybe you wouldn't try to push because you'd know there was no point.

I mean, you can't...

put a size 32 suit on somebody who's a 45.

You just can't doit. It won't work.

But that's a feeling that I have about you —

that I constantly have to be on my guard and ready...

and to be very strong and to keep going like ¢hat to you.

Like that.

Because you're gonna pop up and walk all over me.

[ Antoinette] I believe you, because you do it all the time.

And you're going to, uh —

Each time you do it — you walk over me —

it increases your contempt.

Now, that's — that's the thing that bugs me, and it bugs me from my side.

And I'm not being rational or intelligent or anything about it.

It bugs me, and I would like to stop it.

Now you tell me something about me that you don't like.

You treat me like you have no respect for what say at all or what I feel or anything.

And you expect your orders to be carried out.

You leave your shoes in the middle of the floor for me to trip on.

I've asked you nine thousand million trillion times...

to please move them so I don't trip on them.

[Billy] Mm-hmm.

And you think I trip on them on purpose just because they're halfway between here and the door.

I don't know. You think I put them there in order to trip you. So which one's worse?

Anybody in the world knows that their shoes belong in the closet.

Why not take em off and put them in the closet?

- Why put them where I'm gonna trip on them? - Let me show you something.

How long have they been there?

They've been there since the afternoon I bought them.

Why don't you take them out and put them in the fuckin' drawers?

- / don't see any reason why I should. - Of course you should!

- That's your goddamn job! -/ always do. I put them away.

It's your bloody job, and you know it's your job.

Now that's just the same thing to me as the shoes are to you.

And I tell you what, I would leave those shirts there.

I would go to the fucking office without wearing a shirt before I'd undo that...

just as you would leave those shoes there without picking them up.

- No, I pick them up all the time. - And it's stupid.

- I pick them up all the time. - Yeah, you pick them up all the time.

You pick them up as many times as I've taken those things out of my shirts.

But you don't really want to try, do you?

I just figure it's not — it's never gonna be anything marvelous...

between the two of us.

And if we change for somebody else...

it's probably gonna be another whole set of problems that I can't even think of.

It'd be just the same with them.

So the best thing is stop dreaming about it being wonderful.

And if you can't — And if you can at least stand the sight of each other...

put up with it and try to make a life for yourself.

That's all.

You haven't turned out like I thought you would...

- and there's no way you're ever going to. -[ Laughs]

50 jf] keep hanging on to that, I'm pretty sick, aren't]?

Okay, I know pretty much what you're about, and I know it's not so great.

Nobody could turn out the way you wanted me to.

1 think you should live downstairs, and I'll live upstairs.

We'll share the kitchen.

- Fuck you. If you don't — - / think it's the only answer.

You don't wanna live upstairs, move out.

There's no point. Why should I do that?

11] give you the downstairs. E's bigger and groovier.

I don't want the downstairs because it's bigger and groovier.

I'm not in this thing on a split-level business.

If you want to do that, we might as well split up, for Chrissake.

Or we could try, like, a trial separation thing.

Oh, fuck, that's just so silly.

But we bought the house, so there's enough — plenty of room here.

- 1 could be upstairs, and you — - That's silly.

I don't think it's silly at all. It's very practical.

- It's not practical at all. It's stupid. - I've always thought so.

Your own stuff down here.

No. And then I got a three-room house.

- And I got a three-room house. - 1 don't want a three-room house.

Well, I'd rather have a three-room house that works...

than a nine-room house that's full of shit.

- You don't want to be married. - No, not particularly.

- You don't want to be married. - No, I don't.

- Well, you'd better make up your bloody mind. - [Glass Clatters ]

If you really don't want to be married, just — You'd better make up your mind.

Because that — It's really dumb, if you don't want to doit.

You want to have it all. You can't have it all.

You want to be free, but you want to enjoy the marriage thing.

That's impossible.

Well, why resign to it?

Why try and make it work within the framework that we know it's lousy anyway?

- Why not — - Because the-the —

Regardless of the framework. The framework isn't the problem.

- [Sighs] - The laws of society are not the problem in this marriage.

The problem is you and me.

- Whether we got a marriage certificate or— - Maybe we shouldn't be married to each other.

Maybe we shouldn't but I'm saying the only way you can find that out —

- Is to what? - 1s to solve the problem and see whether you really hate —

Because what we don't know is whether we really hate one another or not.

[Billy] No, it —

Are you really serious about that idea...

of you living on one floor and me living on another?

Absolutely. I thought it was a good idea for a good year and a half, two years now.

- It makes a lot of sense. - Antoinette —

That's really a dumb idea.

It makes a lot of sense to me, particularly as we've got a kid.

Well, what do we do? We share the kitchen. Is that it?

Yes, and I would — If you wanted to, I would make you supper —

[Billy] Uh-huh.

- and leave it for you. - Uh-huh.

Or not.

Or sometimes we could all have supper together as a family.

- Some nights — - Sundays, like.

Some nights, you could have Bogart down here for supper with you. Some nights, I'd have him with me.

Some nights, you could come upstairs and babysit...

while I went out...

and be with Bogart.

Or you could use maybe this room in here for your bedroom...

"cause you've got the king-size bed.

[Billy] Mm-hmm.

- You could have that in here. - Yeah.

And then we could each have — You know, I could have girls in.

I wouldn't have to be embarr — I'd put a curtain across there, right?

No. You shut the door. I won't be allowed in here.

- No, but I'd put a curtain across there so you couldn't look. -Sol couldn't seein. Sure.

And you could put the — We could arrange little signals.

Like, you could put the baby thing across the bottom of the stairs...

and that would tell me that —

- You weren't supposed to come upstairs. Yeah. - Yeah.

- What are you doing? - Just looking for blackheads.

I know you're looking for blackheads. Just forget the fucking blackheads.

[ Billy Chuckles ]

Well, come on.