Original subtitles

I'm an open book with pages left to write.

We can't wait to see what's inside. This is the new story of my life.

The night I met my boyfriend, Eddie, she saw me talking to him. So she totally

came over and started flirting with him. She hiked her skirt up so high it

looked like a tube top.

I had to bust out the big guns. You just whipped him out at a party?

No, no. I charmed him with my famous impression of Woody Allen.

Get me back to Manhattan. I'm so neurotic.

It was the boo.

I was going through a really tough breakup, and that's why I invited her

tonight.

Yeah, my boyfriend turned out to be a real jerk.

I stayed with him way too long. Why?

Well... Plus,

he really knows how to get to you. Like, he'll compliment the way you look.

Man, you look great in that jacket.

It really shows off your upper body strength.

It's a silly thing to make you laugh.

Wait, huh?

I didn't order the duck.

And every so often he'll just gaze into your eyes and kiss you like you're the

only person in the world.

Did I tell you I like the jacket?

Well, I'm not really much of a group of women type of girl. What's wrong with

women?

Nothing. If they're by themselves.

But get them together and they become catty and competitive and they want

everything that you have.

When did you get so cynical?

Oh, I don't know.

Can I have my earrings back?

Let me get this straight.

Your sexy rocker boyfriend keeps sending you expensive jewelry because he wants

you back so badly.

Yeah, that is tough.

Well, it's a little more complicated than that.

I don't think I've ever really been without a boyfriend.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I hate you.

Groupies don't get dinner.

Did you get dinner?

No, but... Uh -huh.

Groupies don't spend the night.

Did you spend the night?

She had an early appointment.

Oh, so I slept with her longer at the book reading.

Not that I even feel the need to dignify this discussion, but if I'm just a

groupie, then why did she give me her phone number?

Did you try it yet?

No, but why would I even doubt it?

What are you doing?

Oh, okay, good. Yeah, sure, call her. I need to speak to her anyway.

Carpet Emporium.

Right before Gavin went into surgery, he kind of said something to me.

What? Well, he said that he had feelings for me and that we should be together.

Oh, my God.

You and Gavin?

Dainty, fragile butterfly mating with, I don't know, whatever you'd be.

And if you sign up for our membership card, I can take 20 % off right now.

I know exactly which 20 % I want you to take off.

Pick up women, and then I'll ate.

Yes, ma 'am.

Excuse me.

I called about an iPod I left here.

You? Yeah, me.

I can't believe it. I mean, you're so young and pretty.

Uh, thank you.

No, no, I didn't mean it like that. I just mean that you seem so cool.

Are you seeing anybody?

Kind of just like my iPod.

No, no, no.

No. No, I didn't mean it like that. I mean, I'm not gay.

Though I have dabbled.

But, uh,

there's always been a guy watching.

I'll be right back.

Isn't it crazy?

I mean, look at her.

Great hair, beautiful smile, sexy little body.

I'm really confused.

Really? Sounds to me like you've made up your mind.

want nothing more than to bring you back to my hotel for a night of the wildest,

kinkiest sex of your life.

And Skylar never has to know.

So what do you say?

Hey, she may be my girlfriend, but she doesn't own me.

I can imagine using what you got to get little things like free drinks, a nice

dinner.

Condo.

But not marriage. Someone gave you a condo?

One bedroom, no ocean view. It was like a slap in the face.

So what are you going to do?

I don't know, sell it before the market crashes?

I love you, Kat.

Harold, I love you. Oh, and Stuart, I love you.

What did you say?

I love you, Stuart.

Oh, my God, I love you, too.

Yeah.

You don't know how long it would be to say those words to me. I love you, too.

love you so much. I love you.

Thanks, bro. I love you, too. Now, kiss.

R. Kelly.

What? You went on two dates with her. How could you not realize she was a

teenager? Because she pretended to be old and she was very convincing. You saw

her. She looked nothing like a high school student.

Hey, Gavin.

I want you to meet my friend Skyler. Skyler, this is my fiancé, Charlie

Rosenberg. Very nice to meet you, Charlie.

Don't squeeze.

You'll break a finger.

Oh, and this is Charlie's caregiver, Nixie. Not that he really... he needs

He's very independent and healthy.

I've restarted his heart four times.

Twice since he met me.

Reduce plus the register at Bed Bath & The Great Beyond.

Well, she doesn't need much for the wedding. She's already got something old

blue.

The pyramids aren't as old as he looks.

Maybe he likes her because she reminds him of his first girlfriend, also named

Eve.

That's not nice. You know, a lot of women like older men. Oh, please. He's

enough to be her father.

He's old enough to be her forefather.

Don't flirt with Gary, okay? That's probably why this whole thing started.

You're very flirty.

Flirty. Oh, please.

You were totally flirting with me yesterday.

Well, that was because I wanted the weekend off.

By the way, have you made a decision on that?

Yeah, take whatever you need.

Thank you.

It's not your fault.

Unless you're being flirty with him like you are with me.

I'm not flirty with you. Hey, my eyes are up here.

You know what that means.

Skylar, come on.

No, no, no. What does it mean?

Come on.

Tonight's the night.

For what?

Chicka -bam -bam, chicka -bam -bam. Woo!

You haven't had sex yet?

Kat, we've only been on two dates.

What are you, playing hard to get?

Kat, you know, a woman will only wait so long before she finds someone else to

get the job done.

You don't wait for the third date?

What is the third date thing? Does everybody know about this?

I can't believe we let you handle food.

Yes, Kat, it's a common dating standard.

Yeah, maybe if you're Amit.