Original subtitles

I'm an open book with pages left to write.

Can't wait to see what's inside.

There's a new story of my life.

Previously on Stacked.

Listen, Rob, tomorrow's my birthday and I was wondering if you weren't doing

anything. We're having a huge party. Okay, that sounds fun. I was wondering

we could have a party here. It's going to be a hootenanny.

She'll have a drink or two.

I look best in dim lighting.

I'm never going to get a better chance with him. My relationship with Skylar

run into some big trouble. Oh, that's it. Rob's a no -show.

I'm going to die alone.

I'm sorry things didn't work out for you. You too.

Happy birthday.

This won't be weird at work tomorrow, will it?

Absolutely. Yeah.

Gymnastics team.

I did my famous kick this bout and didn't stick my landing.

Seriously? Of course not. I'm 67 years old and I sneezed.

Hey, everybody. Hey.

Hi, Kat.

Good morning, Stuart.

Can I trouble you for a cup of water?

No trouble at all.

So, Kat, did you have a good birthday?

One gift didn't just stick out?

What kind of question is that?

I think someone's splurged on Katrina.

No, they didn't.

Didn't you open the robotic vacuum I got you?

Yeah, yeah, thank you.

Would you give us to it? Nothing, okay?

I think I know what's going on here.

You do?

It's obvious.

She hates the robotic back.

Damn it, I should have gone with a toothbrush sterilizer.

It's not about a birthday gift.

At least, not in a traditional sense.

What are you talking about?

After the party, Kat and I went back to my apartment and... It's a little

embarrassing.

You didn't show her how good you are at Dance Dance Revolution, did you?

Because that's the big dance, and that's how awesome I am.

So what happened?

We sort of, uh... Did it. What? It just happened.

Oh, my God!

Then it happened two more times.

It was like I was a teenager again.

Except I wasn't alone.

I don't know. It was my birthday, and my date didn't show. I was really

vulnerable. Plus, I was totally drunk.

Really, you hardly drank anything.

is drunk, all right?

Do you realize the position you've put us in? What do you mean, us?

Katrina works for us. She could sue us for sexual harassment.

It wasn't harassment. We were two consenting adults.

And for those few hours, we were not employer and employee.

Except when we were the pilot and the flight attendant.

Oh, God. Even in your fantasies, you're her boss.

Right.

Because I was the pilot.

At the very least, she knows now we can never fire her no matter what she does.

She could steal. She could be rude to customers.

You could waltz in at noon every day. You could take extra long lunches.

Hey, maybe I should sleep with Stuart.

Something good just happened.

I would just hate for this to mess things up between us. You know, we have

a great working relationship.

He'd try to boss me around. I'd call him an idiot.

He'd fall off the ladder. I'd laugh at him.

I'd really hate to lose that.

Wait a couple days and things will get back to normal.

Unless... Unless what?

Unless now he has feelings for you.

Are you kidding? Guys don't fall in love because of one night in bed.

Oh, yeah? I have two engagement rings and the best new rap artist Grammy that

say you're wrong.

How did you two leave it? What was the last thing you said to her?

The captain has turned down the seatbelt sign as we prepare for our final

approach.

We'll go back to the way we've always been, you know?

She'll spill hot coffee on herself, I'll laugh, it'll be fine.

What if she's fallen in love with you? Why would she suddenly fall in love with

me after what was clearly a one -night stand?

I don't know if you've heard this, but women, unlike men, tend to develop

feelings for the people they sleep with.

What?

Something good just happened.

How's your neck?

The pain is now radiating down my spine.

As if I've been riddled with bullets made of acid.

But you know what they say, no pain, no gain.

That's about exercise.

Can't you see I'm grasping here?

Only metaphorically, of course, since I can no longer make a fist.

Well, let me at least try and work out this spasm. I'm a pretty good masseur.

No, no, no.

be touched in an intimate way by people with whom I am not intimate, which is

why I occasionally sleep with a girl who samples my hair.

Oh, Gavin, did you hear about Stuart and Katrina?

What happened to Stuart and Katrina? I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but my neck is

turned that way.

Well, last night after the party, the two of them... Oh, they got into a car

accident. Oh, dear.

What happened?

Let's see. Well, well, it seems that Stuart was following her a little too

closely and... Did he rear -end her?

I don't know. She told me he banged her really hard.

I'm just glad there was no serious damage.

You never know. Sometimes you leave thinking everything's fine, and then a

days later you notice you're leaking fluids.

Hey. Hey.

How's it going? Good, good. You? Good. Cool.

Yeah.

Oh, my God, you're right. He is totally in love with me.

Dude, she's falling for me.

Hard.

Damn it, Stuart. Now if you jilt her, she'll just come after us for revenge.

She'll clean us out.

We're going to need some legal advice. I'm calling Cousin Alan.

No, no, don't call Cousin Alan. He's a self -righteous jerk.

Besides, he's a tax attorney.

This is sexual harassment.

Don't say that.

Never admit guilt. You just keep your mouth shut until he gets here.

Now go start organizing our receipts.

Might as well kill two birds with one stone.

It's all my fault. Why did I have to be so good last night?

And those yoga classes.

For one reason, we work together.

Oh, come on.

I can't date Stuart.

I gotta let him down easy. I don't want to see him get hurt.

a favor and do not open a bookstore. There is simply no money in it.

What do you mean?

Stuart and I are leveraged to the hilt. I couldn't get a dime out of this place

if I tried.

No one could.

Are you going to fire me? No! No, no, no! I would never fire you! Are you

kidding? You're practically a member of the family and you don't ever, ever

bring financial hardship to a member of your family.

Oh, my God.

Did you hear that?

Yeah. Gavin thinks you're totally going to sue him for sexual harassment.

Oh, sweetie.

I don't think you see what's going on here.

Gavin just called me family.

Stuart must be talking marriage already.

Oh, God.

I got to go deal with this.

Stuart. Stuart, we need to talk.

Yeah, I know.

I've been thinking about it. Yeah, me too. Listen.

Stuart. Last night was quick.

Let me go first, please.

Stuart, what are you doing?

I just want to give you something, okay? No, Stuart. I really don't want it.

Listen, I... Flying solo?

Getting over Mr. Right?

What the hell is this?

I'm sorry, Kat. I just want to lead you on, you know?

You're dumping me?

you. It was one night. Oh, my God. It wasn't your first time, was it? You seem

really experienced.

No, you're not, Mr. Wright. I like flying solo.

Although you did make a pretty good stewardess.

Flight attendant.

This is such a relief.

So you're not in love with me?

Are you kidding?

Thank God.

Well, I know I'm not supposed to know.

but I heard what happened last night and I'm glad to see you two are still

friends. Do you know about this, too?

The same thing happened once between me and a co -worker and it got pretty ugly.

She couldn't walk for a month.

Cousin Alan's on his way down. We don't need Cousin Alan.

Don't be embarrassed. He's family.

Remember how well he handled your public urination episode?

It was a renaissance fair.

Porter parties are anachronistic.

Just call off Cousin Alan, okay? I've taken care of the situation.

Cat and I are cool.

Really? How'd you do that?

Took her aside and told her how I felt.

How'd she take it? Was she upset?

She tried to cover, you know, but... She was pretty devastated.

I gave her a night of unbelievable hot, sweaty action.

We're surrounded by great literature. You can't come up with a less disturbing

way to say that?

Harold, what are you doing?

Reading a magazine.

How long were you to drop that?

About an hour.

I'm forced to estimate because I can't look at my watch anymore without

painting.

It's ridiculous. You have to at least let me get that knot out for you. Thank

you, Skyler, but my body will take care of itself.

I assure you, I don't need your help.

Now, could you please turn the page?

Next page.

Next page.

No, no, no.

Please. This is very embarrassing.

Too bad. You need help. But people are looking. At least I assume so. I can't

turn my head.

Okay. Fine. Let's do this in Gavin's office.

All right.

At least I'll preserve my dignity without a room full of people staring at

Can I help you?

Please. My dignity.

Look, I'm really sorry I didn't make it to your party.

Something came up.

That's all right.

What can I get you?

The usual. So you send them off on the go.

So, was it a good party?

Yeah, it was okay.

It would have been better if you were there.

Why weren't you there?

What?

I mean, you told me we were going to make it, so why weren't you there?

Sure.

Well, not that it's any of your business, but if you really have to

a thing.

Oh, well, he had a thing.

good enough for me.

Um, Stuart, can I talk to you for a second?

Stuart, what are you doing?

Have some self -respect, okay? That guy blew you off and now you're falling all

over him. No, I'm not. What business is it of yours?

I'll see you later, Katrina.

Unless you have a thing.

What is your problem?

I don't like that guy.

Who asked? Why are you acting so weird?

I'm acting weird?

What about you?

I mean, you're falling all over some guy who blew you off less than 12 hours

after we were intimate.

Intimate? It was a meaningless fling.

Well, some people develop feelings for the people they sleep with. Yeah, women.

Why does this even matter? It's not like we're dating.

Maybe we should.

What?

It's not the craziest idea in the world. We know we like each other.

Yeah, but... Last night was definitely amazing.

Let's give it a shot.

Wait. Are you really asking me out on a date?

Yes. Yes, I am.

Wow.

I guess.

Okay, yeah.

Not the most enthusiastic guess I've gotten.

But close.

So pick me up at eight?

See you then.

And throughout the rest of the day.

Hello, Gavin.

Alan, thank you so much for coming.

That's well, I just hope we can put this matter to rest with a certain measure

of decorum.

Now, where's the slut?

Actually, actually, that issue's been resolved.

But, since you're already here, why don't we get a jump on our taxes?

So that's it? She's not going to sue?

No, no, no, I blew the whole thing out of proportion.

There's nothing inappropriate going on here.

I'll go put them in water.

Wow, yeah, the place looks great.

I haven't been here since you threw that fondue party.

How is your friend doing?

Good, good. The skin grafts finally took.

Please tell her again how sorry I am.

How nice.

Um, can I offer you a glass of wine? I have a lovely cabernet.

Yes, that would be delightful.

would be delightful since when do you talk like that since you offered me a

lovely cabernet why are we acting like we just met

i don't know i guess we're nervous because it's the first date but that's

stupid we've known each other for years i was there when you got your head

caught between the rungs of the rolling ladder that was your fault you said i

couldn't get my ears through

That vacuum your brother got me for my birthday.

He means well.

Oh, yeah, he really knows women.

The two things we like best are housework and robots.

Why don't you just turn it off?

I don't know how.

I'm waiting for the batteries to die.

It's not beating.

So, listen, I made reservations at Chez Mimi.

Oh, that was really sweet. You were really trying.

Let's just go to that rib. place where they put the TVs in the table.

You like that place?

Yeah. It's going to be my favorite date ever.

I'll get my coat and a TV guide.

Katrina?

Yes, I'm Katrina.

This is for you. Thank you.

Oh, where'd those come from?

They were just delivered.

They're from Rob.

Rob blew you off at the party, Rob? Yeah.

Dear Katrina, I'm really sorry I missed your party. I hope you'll let me

celebrate your birthday by taking you to dinner tomorrow night or whenever you

don't have a thing.

Fondly, Rob.

That's a pretty nice one.

I didn't say anything. I know, I know, but just yesterday you were madly in

with a guy and now he's sending you flowers. I don't want to feel like I'm

standing in the way, you know? You sound like you want me to go out with him.

Don't you want to go out with him? You threw a whole fake party just so you

could see him. Well, what does that have to do with anything?

Do you or do you not want to go out with him? God, when did this turn into a

trial? Just answer the question.

You secretly take pictures of her with your camera phone. You stop wearing

shorts to work and you follow her around like she's made a pizza.

For your information, I stopped wearing shorts because a customer complained

when I climbed up the ladder.

Maybe we should... Yeah, yeah. I'm not really that hungry anymore either.

Yeah, me either. Yeah.

I'm gonna... I'm gonna get going.

Okay. Yeah.

What?

What?

I just want to say I had a really great time last night. Yeah, me too. Great,

take care. Yeah.

Do I... I'm... Oh.

Is Katrina here?

I'm Katrina.

Two Katrinas.

All right.

Can I help you?

Oh, I forgot to get a signature for the flowers.

Thanks.

What are you looking at?