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1
00:00:14,420 --> 00:00:15,820
Okay.
2
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:26,280
Come on.
3
00:00:48,830 --> 00:00:49,830
That's the best.
4
00:01:19,670 --> 00:01:20,670
Oh, Frank.
5
00:01:23,390 --> 00:01:24,390
Don't do that.
6
00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:29,710
I just came down for a glass of water.
7
00:01:31,930 --> 00:01:34,410
You've been sleepwalking again, haven't
you?
8
00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:36,390
Oh, look at this mess.
9
00:01:36,950 --> 00:01:38,670
I was dreaming about the war, Betty.
10
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I thought I was one of the few.
11
00:01:44,070 --> 00:01:45,930
You're one of the few, all right.
12
00:01:46,810 --> 00:01:49,010
It's my RAF reunion tomorrow night.
13
00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:50,640
I always get excited.
14
00:01:51,140 --> 00:01:54,860
Well, perhaps if it's going to affect
you like this, you'd better not go.
15
00:01:55,340 --> 00:01:59,500
I must go. I go every year, don't I?
Yes, and every year we have the same
16
00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:04,400
trouble. You get so excited you can't
sleep, and when you do, you have these
17
00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:05,400
funny dreams.
18
00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:08,560
I mean, why don't you forget about the
RAS?
19
00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:13,100
You have enough trouble coping with the
present, let alone the past.
20
00:02:13,660 --> 00:02:15,200
It's not just a past, Betty.
21
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,340
I could be recalled at any moment.
22
00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:20,260
After all this time?
23
00:02:20,620 --> 00:02:23,220
Supposing there's a Second World War or
a third one?
24
00:02:23,580 --> 00:02:27,520
I mean, I would be all ready to go,
wouldn't I? I've kept my equipment in
25
00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:28,520
order.
26
00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:30,320
What equipment?
27
00:02:31,980 --> 00:02:36,080
When you leave the RAF, they let you
keep certain items.
28
00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:40,180
You have to sign a special certificate
for it saying that you keep them in good
29
00:02:40,180 --> 00:02:41,780
order in case you're ever called up
again.
30
00:02:44,260 --> 00:02:45,260
RAF braces.
31
00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:46,480
LAUGHTER
32
00:02:49,070 --> 00:02:50,270
Clothes type, one of.
33
00:02:51,710 --> 00:02:53,070
Socks, two pairs of.
34
00:02:54,050 --> 00:02:55,050
Is that it?
35
00:02:55,570 --> 00:02:57,110
Well, I don't let you keep everything.
36
00:02:57,590 --> 00:03:01,110
You take these reunions very seriously,
don't you, Frank?
37
00:03:01,490 --> 00:03:02,910
It's the comradeship, Betty.
38
00:03:03,490 --> 00:03:07,590
Thousands of men from all walks of life,
all coming together, keeping in touch.
39
00:03:08,330 --> 00:03:09,990
Were there many last year?
40
00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:11,790
About ten.
41
00:03:14,070 --> 00:03:15,830
Well, it was raining, wasn't it?
42
00:03:17,630 --> 00:03:19,070
Anyway, be different this year.
43
00:03:19,410 --> 00:03:21,750
We've got an air commodore coming as
guest of honour.
44
00:03:22,150 --> 00:03:23,150
Very important.
45
00:03:23,830 --> 00:03:25,570
I shall have to look my best, of course.
46
00:03:26,810 --> 00:03:30,390
Do you think it would look too showy if
I wore my RAF socks?
47
00:03:32,030 --> 00:03:33,310
And my service braces?
48
00:03:34,870 --> 00:03:36,750
I'll have to give them a little rinse
through tomorrow.
49
00:03:38,710 --> 00:03:40,410
That's someone you might remember, sir.
50
00:03:40,630 --> 00:03:43,870
Harris, sir. Fighter Command, Biggin
Hill. Nice to see you again, Harris.
51
00:03:44,430 --> 00:03:49,650
Good evening, sir. Ex -Flying Officer
Roberts of Coastal Command, sir. Good
52
00:03:49,650 --> 00:03:50,388
evening, Roberts.
53
00:03:50,390 --> 00:03:51,510
Good evening, sir. Spencer,
54
00:03:57,130 --> 00:03:58,130
sir.
55
00:03:58,830 --> 00:03:59,809
Yes, yes.
56
00:03:59,810 --> 00:04:00,870
Of course, Spencer.
57
00:04:01,430 --> 00:04:03,870
Spencer of... Cranwell.
58
00:04:06,110 --> 00:04:08,410
Cranwell Cottage, 47 Dockyard Road.
59
00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:14,880
It's behind a bakery.
60
00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:18,180
Yes, yes, Spencer, yes.
61
00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:23,420
Yes, um... Spencer.
62
00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:26,740
R -A -F... Duck.
63
00:04:30,060 --> 00:04:32,020
Very nice to meet you, Air Commodore.
64
00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:34,560
Well, it should be a pleasant evening.
65
00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:36,400
I've been looking forward to it.
66
00:04:40,330 --> 00:04:44,770
I never can place that fellow. Comes
every year, never tells us his station
67
00:04:44,770 --> 00:04:48,470
command. Wherever he was, they haven't
taught him much dress then.
68
00:04:49,950 --> 00:04:54,090
Bill, it's funny how quiet he keeps
about his service record. It makes you
69
00:04:54,090 --> 00:04:57,490
wonder. Yes, I don't suppose we shall
ever know that real truth.
70
00:05:07,950 --> 00:05:10,530
Hey, Tad, how's the wife? Fine. Oh,
great.
71
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:18,050
Frank, isn't it?
72
00:05:18,430 --> 00:05:20,030
Uh, 305 Spencer.
73
00:05:20,650 --> 00:05:21,830
Right, well, listen here, Frank.
74
00:05:22,230 --> 00:05:24,270
The sergeant's made me senior man for
the billet.
75
00:05:24,690 --> 00:05:27,870
So I'm responsible for seeing
everything's nice and neat and up to
76
00:05:28,310 --> 00:05:29,310
Oh.
77
00:05:29,390 --> 00:05:30,950
I'll tidy up a bit. Good idea.
78
00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:38,690
What trade are you in for?
79
00:05:38,910 --> 00:05:43,040
Chemist. No, they're just a few things
my mother sent for me. Well, you'll have
80
00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:44,100
to send them back, won't you?
81
00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:46,780
You can't keep all this stuff. We've got
locker inspection tomorrow.
82
00:05:47,500 --> 00:05:49,660
Well, can I keep my prune juice?
83
00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:55,140
Because if we keep going on having all
these chips and beans and things, it
84
00:05:55,140 --> 00:05:56,180
could bring on more trouble.
85
00:05:58,020 --> 00:05:59,020
All right.
86
00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:00,100
All right.
87
00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:03,700
Just try and be a bit more tidy, that's
all. I mean, look at this coat.
88
00:06:03,940 --> 00:06:04,940
Can't leave that.
89
00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:06,560
Oh, God.
90
00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:20,200
Just in case I have to get up in the
night.
91
00:06:55,370 --> 00:06:56,810
the little job for my needle and thread.
92
00:07:01,110 --> 00:07:02,870
Oh, it's bigger than I thought.
93
00:07:07,870 --> 00:07:08,870
You all right?
94
00:07:09,070 --> 00:07:10,490
No, I'm just checking things.
95
00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:20,330
My bottoms are gone.
96
00:07:22,990 --> 00:07:24,170
Somebody's pinched my bottom.
97
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:28,180
I left them on there.
98
00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:30,580
They're playing pranks on me.
99
00:07:32,340 --> 00:07:33,520
Come on, just bring them back.
100
00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:36,160
Look, there they are. You were looking.
101
00:07:39,060 --> 00:07:40,600
Officer Cummings, stand by your beds.
102
00:07:41,540 --> 00:07:43,020
They can't come in. Get up.
103
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:44,840
Oh, God, I'll be getting cold.
104
00:07:45,820 --> 00:07:49,940
I need him.
105
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,400
Now, when your flight commander calls
your name, you will come to attention,
106
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,540
answer, sir, and call out your last
three numbers.
107
00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:05,300
229 30 301 Murray Stop Where was it?
Morgan Stop 449 Turner Stop 417 Ben
108
00:08:48,780 --> 00:08:49,780
gone for dinner.
109
00:08:50,900 --> 00:08:51,900
Spencer.
110
00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:53,200
I'll leave it.
111
00:08:59,060 --> 00:09:00,320
305 Spencer, sir.
112
00:09:01,420 --> 00:09:02,420
Come in, Spencer.
113
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:18,920
you have something in your ears.
114
00:09:23,220 --> 00:09:24,800
I've got something in my ears.
115
00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:27,380
Well, take it out.
116
00:09:29,340 --> 00:09:30,460
I'll take it out.
117
00:09:35,020 --> 00:09:39,000
With all that gunfire on the rifle
range, I was there yesterday.
118
00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:41,320
Yes, I know you were on the rifle range.
119
00:09:41,580 --> 00:09:43,340
Nearly wiped out half the squadron.
120
00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:46,400
Sit down, Spencer.
121
00:09:47,210 --> 00:09:48,210
Thank you, sir.
122
00:09:48,490 --> 00:09:53,490
Now, tell me, Spencer, why did you
volunteer for the RAF?
123
00:09:54,350 --> 00:10:00,910
Well, I found that I was having certain
difficulties in civilian
124
00:10:00,910 --> 00:10:06,250
life. And? And I like the uniform.
125
00:10:08,110 --> 00:10:09,370
It's nice blue.
126
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,160
I wanted a job with a future.
127
00:10:16,420 --> 00:10:17,359
Mm -hmm.
128
00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:20,880
And they wouldn't have me anywhere else.
129
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,520
You did try, then?
130
00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:26,780
Yes, I tried the Army Recruiting Office.
131
00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:33,660
Oh? But they informed me, rather
harshly, I felt, that I had the flat
132
00:10:33,660 --> 00:10:36,420
and knocking knees.
133
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:38,720
So you brought them to us?
134
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,480
Not after I tried the Navy.
135
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:41,840
The Navy?
136
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:42,920
Mm -mm.
137
00:10:43,020 --> 00:10:45,280
They hinted that I had another slight
defect.
138
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:47,780
I'm colour blind.
139
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,320
Mind you, I don't see what difference
that makes.
140
00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:56,840
I mean, all them boats are the same
colour, aren't they?
141
00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:00,400
And everyone knows the sea's green.
142
00:11:01,780 --> 00:11:02,820
With a bit of blue.
143
00:11:04,340 --> 00:11:06,780
It's not a very inspiring testimonial,
is it?
144
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,320
We've got bad feet, bad eyes, bad knees,
bad ears.
145
00:11:10,910 --> 00:11:13,050
You joined the RAF because no one else
would have you.
146
00:11:13,350 --> 00:11:16,290
But now that I'm here, sir, I'm willing
to give it all I've got.
147
00:11:17,630 --> 00:11:20,210
You're not quite sure the RAF's ready
for all you've done.
148
00:11:22,150 --> 00:11:24,290
Nevertheless, we like to feel there's a
place for everyone.
149
00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:26,750
It's rather difficult to know where
yours is.
150
00:11:28,050 --> 00:11:30,890
What are my chances of becoming an
officer, sir?
151
00:11:33,190 --> 00:11:34,190
Slim.
152
00:11:36,430 --> 00:11:38,330
I'd be quite willing to join the band.
153
00:11:38,790 --> 00:11:39,790
Oh, as what?
154
00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:42,100
A bandsman.
155
00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:45,200
Can you play an instrument?
156
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:49,840
I've got the 25 yards breaststroke
certificate.
157
00:11:51,220 --> 00:11:53,280
Huh? Air sea rescue.
158
00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:54,720
No.
159
00:11:56,420 --> 00:11:57,580
Air traffic control.
160
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,320
Would the bomber come on?
161
00:12:02,140 --> 00:12:03,200
God forbid.
162
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:05,640
There must be something I can do.
163
00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:10,460
Air crew, sir? You've sent a pencil for
an air crew medical, sir.
164
00:12:10,670 --> 00:12:16,450
Well, sir, I know we're short of pilots,
sir, but he can't walk. He can't hear.
165
00:12:17,050 --> 00:12:18,170
And he can't see.
166
00:12:18,830 --> 00:12:21,930
Peter, as long as he's got the strength
to get outside the main gate, I don't
167
00:12:21,930 --> 00:12:22,909
care.
168
00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:26,590
You see, we're rid of him. He's no
longer our responsibility.
169
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,450
Look, there he goes.
170
00:12:30,190 --> 00:12:33,110
He's made it. He's got outside the camp,
thank God.
171
00:12:34,190 --> 00:12:37,650
Now, we'll see what air crew selection
can make of him.
172
00:12:38,770 --> 00:12:39,970
Ref in room seven.
173
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:41,400
Son, room nine.
174
00:12:41,580 --> 00:12:43,440
Room four.
175
00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:46,660
Drop your pants, please.
176
00:12:55,740 --> 00:12:57,200
Just turn your head to the left.
177
00:13:01,560 --> 00:13:04,160
Other side.
178
00:13:05,780 --> 00:13:06,780
Again.
179
00:13:09,230 --> 00:13:12,470
I asked you to turn your head to the
left whilst that you wouldn't cough all
180
00:13:12,470 --> 00:13:13,470
over me.
181
00:13:15,050 --> 00:13:16,350
Spencer, room nine.
182
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:18,530
Room nine.
183
00:13:18,790 --> 00:13:19,830
Sit down over there.
184
00:13:21,810 --> 00:13:22,990
Look straight ahead.
185
00:13:24,430 --> 00:13:26,150
And repeat what I say.
186
00:13:28,670 --> 00:13:29,710
Will you sit down?
187
00:13:30,430 --> 00:13:31,930
She was doing something funny.
188
00:13:32,190 --> 00:13:35,390
I can test the hearing in your left ear
only.
189
00:13:41,980 --> 00:13:43,100
Cabbage. What?
190
00:13:45,060 --> 00:13:47,420
Cabbage. I can't hear you.
191
00:13:49,420 --> 00:13:50,420
Cabbage.
192
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:52,320
Cabbage? That's right.
193
00:13:55,340 --> 00:13:56,340
Lettuce.
194
00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:00,240
Lettuce. What?
195
00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:03,700
I feel a bit deaf. Shall I come a bit
closer?
196
00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:10,420
Spencer, room 14.
197
00:14:13,740 --> 00:14:17,020
This is to dilate the pupils of your
eyes. Head back, please.
198
00:14:18,940 --> 00:14:20,840
It may make your vision a little
blurred.
199
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,980
In fact, you might even experience...
200
00:14:24,980 --> 00:14:31,140
Spencer, room 15.
201
00:14:44,780 --> 00:14:47,300
Now we come to the command situation
exercise.
202
00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:53,720
The object of this first exercise is for
the team, the whole team, to start from
203
00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:58,160
this point here, the other side of that
line, and get to the other side of this
204
00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:04,180
line over here without any member of the
team touching the floor in between and
205
00:15:04,180 --> 00:15:06,980
taking with you this bag of delicate
instruments.
206
00:15:07,660 --> 00:15:12,220
Now you may walk on any part of the
equipment painted white, but you must
207
00:15:12,220 --> 00:15:14,920
touch... Any part of the equipment
painted black.
208
00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:17,680
Now, you have this single plank to help
you.
209
00:15:18,020 --> 00:15:20,560
And the time for this exercise is 15
minutes.
210
00:15:20,940 --> 00:15:21,940
Any questions?
211
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:23,500
No. Right.
212
00:15:23,820 --> 00:15:25,040
I'm starting my watch.
213
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,660
I'm there.
214
00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:37,240
Okay. All right.
215
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:39,200
We'll call it a day for that exercise.
216
00:15:40,300 --> 00:15:42,100
Now the team will attempt this exercise.
217
00:15:42,730 --> 00:15:46,450
which is to get from this line here to
the finishing platform over there
218
00:15:46,450 --> 00:15:48,050
any member of the team touching the
ground.
219
00:15:48,270 --> 00:15:51,010
And remember, you must only use the
white parts of the equipment.
220
00:15:51,390 --> 00:15:55,270
To help you, you have this plank of
wood, and you must take this drum with
221
00:15:55,610 --> 00:15:59,510
Now, on this occasion, I'm going to
appoint a member of the team as leader,
222
00:15:59,630 --> 00:16:01,350
which will be number five.
223
00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:07,290
Now, this exercise is for 15 minutes,
and I'm starting my watch now.
224
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:14,200
Thank you, sir.
225
00:16:17,980 --> 00:16:18,980
I've got an idea.
226
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:26,220
Number one, you take the plank and we
make an assault on the oil drum.
227
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,680
Number three, you carry the can.
228
00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:35,260
I shall now endeavour to reach the other
oil drum with the help of the rubber
229
00:16:35,260 --> 00:16:36,260
end.
230
00:16:50,380 --> 00:16:51,880
The whole team starts from the drum
again.
231
00:16:52,380 --> 00:16:53,640
I've got another idea.
232
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:01,720
I'm home.
233
00:17:03,020 --> 00:17:04,020
The team.
234
00:17:10,940 --> 00:17:12,180
I've got another idea.
235
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:35,840
I'll pay for any damage.
236
00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:45,240
Is this your application form?
237
00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:47,640
Do sit down, sit down.
238
00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:51,560
This is your application form?
239
00:17:51,900 --> 00:17:52,900
Yes, sir.
240
00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:58,320
St. Vitus dance?
241
00:18:01,020 --> 00:18:02,060
Well, I don't think so.
242
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:06,000
My mother tried to teach me to foxtrot
once.
243
00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:10,440
I see. Right.
244
00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:13,680
Now, I just want you to try a few simple
tests.
245
00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:17,360
Here's an easy one to start with. Now,
you've got three words.
246
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,620
Leg, head, and bird. Please.
247
00:18:21,980 --> 00:18:26,240
Leg, head, and bird. Now, I want you to
write down a single word.
248
00:18:26,570 --> 00:18:30,410
that could precede all three, leg, head,
bird.
249
00:18:35,570 --> 00:18:36,570
Good.
250
00:18:42,210 --> 00:18:43,210
Hairy.
251
00:18:44,910 --> 00:18:46,870
Hairy leg, hairy head. Bird.
252
00:18:47,750 --> 00:18:49,190
You can't have a hairy bird.
253
00:18:49,610 --> 00:18:50,830
What about an ostrich?
254
00:18:52,130 --> 00:18:55,650
Well, an ostrich isn't hairy. An ostrich
has got feathers.
255
00:18:56,110 --> 00:18:57,110
He's got hairy legs.
256
00:18:59,050 --> 00:19:00,050
Black.
257
00:19:00,870 --> 00:19:02,070
Black hairy legs.
258
00:19:03,050 --> 00:19:09,850
The word is black. Black leg, black
head. You could have fat. This fat leg.
259
00:19:10,030 --> 00:19:11,030
No, no, no.
260
00:19:11,470 --> 00:19:14,230
No, no, no. The answer is black.
261
00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:16,530
No, no, please.
262
00:19:16,870 --> 00:19:17,870
Please.
263
00:19:18,650 --> 00:19:20,970
Really. You mustn't argue with me.
264
00:19:21,990 --> 00:19:24,330
I know the answers because I wrote the
question.
265
00:19:26,220 --> 00:19:27,220
what I'm talking about.
266
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:29,680
Cock.
267
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:35,320
Cockbird.
268
00:19:35,540 --> 00:19:36,540
Cock -a -leg.
269
00:19:38,140 --> 00:19:40,020
Now, listen to me.
270
00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:45,480
Now, once and for all, the answer to
that question is black.
271
00:19:46,140 --> 00:19:47,820
Black. All right?
272
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,080
Now, question two.
273
00:19:49,460 --> 00:19:50,960
You have three more words.
274
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,440
Now, on reflection, I think we'd better
leave that.
275
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:06,720
On this page, you have a drawing of a
family tree.
276
00:20:06,980 --> 00:20:09,480
Right? Amanda has... Please.
277
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:16,580
Amanda has six children. Fanny, Albert,
Sandra, Millie, Freddie and George.
278
00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:21,180
Now, Fanny has two children. Sandra has
four children.
279
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:22,880
Yes.
280
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,820
Millie, Freddie and George don't have
any children at all.
281
00:20:26,020 --> 00:20:27,180
Now, the question is this.
282
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,940
How many children does Albert have?
283
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:41,520
It doesn't say.
284
00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:47,540
I know it doesn't say. You're supposed
to work it out.
285
00:20:48,700 --> 00:20:50,860
All right, look, let me see if I can
help you.
286
00:20:51,340 --> 00:20:56,700
Yes. What does Sandra have two of that
Albert's only got one of?
287
00:21:18,350 --> 00:21:19,350
I thought I had it then.
288
00:21:21,670 --> 00:21:26,050
Freddie hasn't got any at all. That's
why... That's why he doesn't have any
289
00:21:26,050 --> 00:21:27,050
children.
290
00:21:38,550 --> 00:21:39,550
Work it out.
291
00:21:43,650 --> 00:21:47,630
Sandra's got two, but... And Albert's
got one.
292
00:21:50,380 --> 00:21:52,880
And that Freddy hasn't got any at all.
293
00:21:58,220 --> 00:21:59,540
Has Fanny got two?
294
00:21:59,740 --> 00:22:00,740
No,
295
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:02,439
no, no.
296
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:04,220
Fanny's only got one.
297
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:06,260
That's why she's got two children.
298
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:13,800
I'm stumped again now.
299
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:17,920
Well, can't you see? It's right in front
of you.
300
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:23,320
I mean, I don't have one because I'm a
Herbert.
301
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:47,760
Yes, Herbert.
302
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:56,340
I'm only saying... I'm only saying that
your name is Frank, my name is Herbert.
303
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:59,940
Now, what does Frank have that Herbert
doesn't?
304
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:22,320
I said, well.
305
00:23:23,980 --> 00:23:26,540
No, no, no. I said A, the letter A.
306
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:33,000
Amanda has three, which equals six
children. Sandra has two, which equals
307
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,140
children. And Albert has one like Fanny.
308
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:40,620
A equals two children.
309
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:42,440
Ah.
310
00:23:43,580 --> 00:23:45,020
Two and double.
311
00:23:46,260 --> 00:23:48,860
Sandra. And Freddy doesn't have any. No.
312
00:23:52,300 --> 00:23:53,680
It's very complicated, isn't it?
313
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:55,800
Couldn't I try something easier?
314
00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:58,400
Well, these are the easier ones.
315
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:02,480
I really feel... I'm not very good with
numbers. I'm more the creative kind.
316
00:24:03,900 --> 00:24:04,900
Yes.
317
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:06,160
Creative.
318
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:07,440
All right.
319
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:09,820
Let's see how creative you are.
320
00:24:11,220 --> 00:24:13,400
Now, here's a very famous painting.
321
00:24:13,740 --> 00:24:15,260
Now, sit down. Sit down, please.
322
00:24:16,060 --> 00:24:20,760
I want you to study this and tell me
what comes into your mind.
323
00:24:21,710 --> 00:24:25,790
Just whatever comes into your mind. You
can make up a little story about the
324
00:24:25,790 --> 00:24:26,810
characters if you like.
325
00:24:28,510 --> 00:24:30,310
Do you know what it's supposed to be?
326
00:24:30,690 --> 00:24:31,770
No. No.
327
00:24:32,370 --> 00:24:36,330
All right, look, I'll tell you the title
and that might spark off some memory.
328
00:24:36,430 --> 00:24:38,430
It's called When Did You Last See Your
Father?
329
00:24:46,390 --> 00:24:47,770
Couldn't I have the death of Nelson?
330
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:54,040
This is a perfectly good painting.
331
00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:58,820
Lovely colours, detail, costumes. Now,
surely, surely, look at it.
332
00:24:59,120 --> 00:25:00,700
Surely it must make you think of
something.
333
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:04,560
Paddington Station.
334
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:06,960
Paddington Station?
335
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:10,760
That's the last time I saw my father.
336
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:16,020
Ah, well, now, now, now, that is
interesting. Good, now we're getting
337
00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:18,140
All right, let's have a talk about that.
338
00:25:18,940 --> 00:25:21,380
What happened when you last saw your
father?
339
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:24,200
I had a mishap.
340
00:25:26,300 --> 00:25:27,320
In my knickers.
341
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:35,200
Good, good.
342
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:38,020
Now, let me get this quite clear.
343
00:25:38,660 --> 00:25:42,320
You were on Paddington Station wearing
knickers.
344
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:45,560
I had a dress on as well.
345
00:25:47,360 --> 00:25:49,280
I didn't want everyone staring at me.
346
00:25:50,060 --> 00:25:52,000
Oh, no, of course I can understand that.
347
00:25:52,700 --> 00:25:57,640
Now, how long, how long did you go about
like this?
348
00:25:59,540 --> 00:26:02,520
About 18 months.
349
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:08,280
And do you, do you still do this?
350
00:26:08,660 --> 00:26:09,660
No.
351
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:16,220
How old were you, how old were you when
you stopped it?
352
00:26:19,879 --> 00:26:20,879
18 months.
353
00:26:21,740 --> 00:26:23,080
A half a month?
354
00:26:23,740 --> 00:26:25,280
It was the gypsy woman's fault.
355
00:26:25,500 --> 00:26:28,740
She told my mother she was going to have
a little girl. And she went out and
356
00:26:28,740 --> 00:26:29,740
bought all the things.
357
00:26:30,120 --> 00:26:32,240
And when I was born, I wasn't a little
girl.
358
00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:34,780
And the boy wouldn't take them back.
359
00:26:35,360 --> 00:26:37,060
So I had to keep them and wear them.
360
00:26:38,060 --> 00:26:39,560
I had to keep the dolly, too.
361
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:41,920
Until the head fell off.
362
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:46,740
Just about had enough of you. I'm going
to give you one more chance to prove
363
00:26:46,740 --> 00:26:50,340
that you've got an answer. sense than
that ad of yours at all. Do you
364
00:26:50,340 --> 00:26:54,760
understand? Now, if you fail this... I
won't. Fail this. I won't.
365
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:56,560
Right.
366
00:27:00,180 --> 00:27:01,180
Board. Board.
367
00:27:01,340 --> 00:27:01,959
Sit down.
368
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:02,679
I sit down.
369
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:05,660
Board. Board. Different shaped holes.
All different.
370
00:27:05,940 --> 00:27:07,520
Different pieces of wood.
371
00:27:07,740 --> 00:27:10,100
They're different. Now, I want you to
put the different pieces of wood in the
372
00:27:10,100 --> 00:27:13,000
right holes. Now, do you really... Yes,
sir. Do you understand?
373
00:27:13,300 --> 00:27:14,300
Yes. Right, move.
374
00:27:19,500 --> 00:27:22,840
it, because I'm going to put a stopwatch
in you, and if you're one second longer
375
00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:26,300
than one minute eighteen seconds, I can
assure you that your day's in the area
376
00:27:26,300 --> 00:27:29,440
of completely and absolutely nothing.
Now, where did I put that stopwatch?
377
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:38,460
Right. Now, if you're ready to start, I
would say that the watch will be
378
00:27:38,460 --> 00:27:40,820
ready in... Finished.
379
00:27:53,110 --> 00:27:59,350
Herbert. Are you pleased?
380
00:28:01,930 --> 00:28:05,250
You put them in the wrong holes.
381
00:28:08,390 --> 00:28:11,230
Well, you couldn't expect me to get them
all right.
382
00:28:24,780 --> 00:28:28,240
You can't even do that, can you? You
can't even get them out! You didn't tell
383
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:29,240
I had to get them out.
384
00:28:33,220 --> 00:28:36,460
You just said, put them in there, Frank,
put them in there. I'm going to tie
385
00:28:36,460 --> 00:28:38,720
you. I'm going to have you discharged
from this.
386
00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:42,960
Discharged! You can't. This is only my
first week. Your first week and you'll
387
00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:43,960
last me. Now get out!
388
00:29:19,380 --> 00:29:21,500
Betty, I don't feel very good.
389
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:25,720
Well, I'm not surprised considering the
state you were in after last night's
390
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:28,300
reunion. I bet you don't remember a
thing.
391
00:29:28,660 --> 00:29:29,980
I do remember everything.
392
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:32,820
Last thing I did was put the cat out.
393
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:34,960
We haven't got a cat.
394
00:29:35,820 --> 00:29:37,360
She's still at the vet's.
395
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:40,060
Well, I'll put someone's cat out.
396
00:29:46,510 --> 00:29:47,990
I thought she didn't seem very thirsty.
397
00:29:48,850 --> 00:29:50,810
I remember everything else.
398
00:29:51,110 --> 00:29:52,110
Do you?
399
00:29:52,430 --> 00:29:53,530
Then perhaps...
29797
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