Original subtitles

How are you getting on?

Fat man.

Oh, don't take any notice of him.

We get a lot of strange men in here trying to take advantage.

Just be polite, that's all. Don't encourage them. Oh, I wouldn't, Miss

Partridge, I wouldn't.

I'm looking for love.

Oh, all right, Joan, I'll deal with it. Good morning, Mr Spencer.

Good morning.

And what have you done with your book this time?

Burnt it, torn it, or lost it?

I've never had a book.

I'm looking for the love section.

Now, will you keep your love story?

You mean you want a romance?

Yes, for Betty.

I thought it might cheer her up a bit.

Why will your wife not be feeling herself?

Well, she's been a bit run down lately.

We haven't been to the seaside for ages and she likes the sea.

It was different when we had the car. We could go out for the odd day.

Is it still at the bottom of the river?

I was very lucky.

I could have been drowned.

Yes, quite.

The driving instructor must have had a very narrow escape.

No, not really. He got out ten minutes before I did.

Didn't you drive the car on your own?

I don't think he was really feeling quite himself.

He was a bit shaken up after we knocked the traffic lights down.

And then when I went the wrong way up the one -way street, he just jumped out.

I couldn't leave the car where it was, so I drove down by the river.

That's a very bad road.

Oh, no.

But it's the only way I could get the car off the cricket field.

Chickens? You want a book on chickens?

Nothing too complicated.

Something like... Oh, chickens are beginner to be good.

It's Miss Simpson next door, you see. We're looking after a chickens' ball

she's away.

Mr Spencer, there's not a great deal of demand for books about chickens or pigs.

Now, if you'll let me have Betty's ticket.

Oh, yes.

I must have left it at home.

I'll take it out on mine.

All right, then give me your ticket.

I didn't leave it here, did I?

If you haven't... got a book, I won't have your ticket, will I?

But maybe I left it on the counter accidentally.

Perhaps you put it in your tray.

I'm quite sure I didn't.

Well, could you have a look through?

It's a brown one.

They're all brown.

Well, couldn't you have a quick look?

A quick look?

There are over 600 tickets in this box alone.

It'll take me hours to go through all these.

One minute, I think I can see it.

Don't touch, Mrs. Spencer, please.

It wasn't mine after all.

But we all make mistakes, don't we?

I expect you'll have a good laugh about this when I'm gone.

Why, come on, girls, it's supper time.

I've put it all back together again, haven't I?

Look.

It leans over to the right, doesn't it?

Yeah, but if it leans that way, I'll put all the chickens over to the left so

that it balances out.

It'll be all right for tonight.

As long as they don't shift about in their sleep.

And as long as they're all back safely, that's all that matters.

I tell you, that Henrietta was the one to catch.

I chased her for miles.

Well, you've certainly gone long enough.

You tried catching seven chickens.

Seven? She only had six.

Are you sure?

Of course I'm sure.

You've been feeding them for the past two weeks. Don't you ever count them?

You've got someone else's chicken.

Where did you get it?

I don't know. I just ran through the gardens rounding them all up.

I bet it's Mrs Martin.

run loose, you'll have to take it back.

What did it look like?

It looked like a chicken.

They're all asleep now.

They've got their heads down. I don't want to disturb them.

I'll wait till Mrs. Simpson comes back tomorrow and then I'll ask her if she

have an identity parade.

I wonder if she enjoyed her holiday.

I wish we could have one.

I haven't been anywhere for months, not even for a day.

If people don't have a break, they begin to get on each other's nerves.

Am I getting on your nerves, then?

No more than usual.

That's nice.

Oh, I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry, Frank. It's not your fault.

Well, we do need to have had a lot of bad luck, don't we?

I mean, what with you losing the car like that. I don't suppose we'll ever be

able to use it again, will we?

I spoke to the chief frogman yesterday morning.

And he didn't hold out much hope.

Now, couldn't you ask your mother if we could use your father's car?

I've tried.

But she's still angry because you didn't send her a birthday card.

I did send her a birthday card.

I remember putting it in the envelope.

Well, she never received it. I mean, that's what I mean. Nothing seems to go

right.

Don't go on.

Oi.

I've got a little surprise for you.

I didn't want to tell you earlier in case you got too excited.

What is it?

I'm going for another interview tomorrow.

That is exciting.

I don't just mean that, but it's to do with agriculture and farming things.

know the first thing about farming.

I've been looking after them chickens, haven't I?

That's not much of a recommendation, is it?

But, and here's the surprise, if I do get the job, they'll give me a car.

Hmm?

If they give me a car for the weekend, we can go out for the day, can't we?

To the seaside?

Oh, Frank, that's marvellous.

Oh.

I just remembered.

I can't drive.

I thought I'd have passed my test by now.

Not to worry. I've got my licence. I can come round with you.

Yeah.

Yeah, but wait a minute. I haven't got the job yet.

I'm seeing the man at 11 .30 tomorrow morning.

They shifted.

Little rascals.

Come in, come in. Don't hang about outside.

Time's money.

You're late, as it is.

Go on.

Go on, then. Go on, then.

Well, now.

Have you got some references for me?

I sent Mr Barton a letter.

Mr Barton's away at the moment. I'm looking after things for him.

It was quite a long letter.

Yeah, it's okay. Now, sit down, sit down.

Now, we're just a small family business.

And we deal mainly with the local farmers.

Supplying animal foodstuffs.

Fertiliser, that kind of thing.

Now, what we're looking for... What we're looking for is someone who can

few calls, take down...

Stay with me.

Excuse me.

I'm sorry, but you've got something hanging down.

If you don't mind.

I'm a married man.

At the back, now. Just turn round. If you don't mind, I've read about this.

It's a wreck.

I'm hoping to have children. Look, I said I didn't want to be disturbed.

No, I didn't.

Well, I mean, the man they sent round was totally unsuitable. Well, the idiot

couldn't even drive.

I assume you can.

Oh, I was always with it.

I hadn't my... Without my car, I haven't.

But I haven't got it at the moment.

I see.

Well, that's no problem. We can always provide you with transport.

Well, now, Mr Barton showed me your letter, your long letter.

I...

think we need bother with the birthday card at the moment, eh?

It's my mother -in -law's.

I'll send it next year.

Yes, well, now, what we're looking for... What we're looking for is someone

who's really interested in meeting people from the farming communities and

can talk to them in their own language.

Now, Mr Barton was very impressed by your letter, particularly as you're so

on farming and agriculture.

I am, yes.

Yeah, what aspect of it are you particularly interested in?

Well, at the moment, my wife and I are very heavily involved with the poultry.

I see.

I suppose if a man's got another job as well, he needs a wife to look after

things for him. How many have you got?

Just the one.

Betty, she's in here.

How many chicken?

Not too many at the moment, but I'm hoping to expand.

Yes.

I don't know very much about chickens myself. You see, I look after the

side of the firm.

Let me see. Let me see now.

Chickens. Chickens. Yeah, chickens. Now, supposing you were going to start

breeding. What ratio of cockerels would you require for your hens?

I thought I'd give them one each.

Well, that doesn't sound right.

I thought I read somewhere about one cockerel to every 15 hens producing

fertility. Did you?

Well, it all depends on the individual cockerel.

Not all of them can manage it.

Well, how could you tell, though? I mean, supposing I were going to buy a

cockles, how would I know if they could manage it?

Well, there are ways.

Country ways.

And a lot depends on the wind direction.

Doesn't make any difference.

Oh, yes.

A good cockerel always faces a north wind.

Legs apart.

It's not widely known.

But when you've been in the business a bit, you get to know their little

Well, it all sounds damn funny to me. Still, I've always thought chickens were

queer creatures anyway.

I suppose your family's always had farming connections.

Well, my mother once went out with a shepherd.

And your father?

Well, That was much later.

Was he a farmer?

Not in England.

All right, Mr Spencer, we'll give you a trial.

I've got the job?

Yes, Mr Bart will be back in about a week and I'll be able to let him know

you're getting on.

I'll get the car. Yes, yes, yes. Now, the next thing is we must start to find

your car.

Right.

I saw him there.

What does that mean?

If you lose the car, you will be liable to pay a sick value.

Oh.

How much would that be?

850 pounds.

Oh.

Spencer, welcome to the firm.

You must remember it's not your car, so you must be extra careful.

I will.

Isn't it lovely?

This brings back some memories.

It's my mother's favourite spot.

She always wanted to be buried here.

She isn't, is she?

No. Council wouldn't allow it.

Mind you, if she'd died 20 years before, she'd have been laughing now.

Why? The council didn't own it then.

I wish it could be like this all the time.

Nice and peaceful.

No one harassing you.

It will be, Frank.

You've got a new job and a car.

Our life's just starting.

I've got plans. hands too, Betty.

I think I could do things with chickens.

Don't be in a rush, Frank.

Take things as they come.

You can't do two jobs at once.

Stick to the one you've got and we'll save a bit of money and maybe get a

house.

And someday, in time to come, we might even have a few little ones.

Yes, I'd like to start breeding as soon as possible.

Very nice way of putting it, Frank.

We'll start off with three or four, and if we get on well with them, we could

have a few more the following year.

You could manage that all right, couldn't you?

Pull it, son.

Pardon?

Pull it.

It's about him.

I'm not talking about your chickens.

I want a baby!

Will you keep your voice down?

We don't want everyone knowing about it.

I don't know what my mother would say if she could hear you talking like that on

her favourite spot about it.

Just try and be patient.

I'll see what I can do.

I don't expect you to do it now, Frank.

All I meant was... Well, you know what I meant.

We must start thinking about it. All right, we think about it.

Now have a tomato sandwich. Take your mind off it.

We won't get in.

I've got the basket. Help me with the blanket.

Get off the blanket.

It's cold.

Open the door.

Everyone's leaving.

You don't want to go, Frank, do you?

No, no.

It's nice and cosy here.

It's just like our courting days, isn't it?

You used to bring your sandwiches then.

Frank, wouldn't you like a son?

Just think he'd grow up and be just like you.

It must belong to that farm that we passed. If we put him in the back, then

can drop him off on the way back. Put the blanket on the back seat.

Come on, boy.

In my blanket.

Sit. Sit. That's it. Sit.

Very good.

Now, you'll have to reverse back up to the road, Frank.

Promise you won't be angry with me.

I suppose we're stuck again, are we?

We've got a bit of trouble, yes.

You won't panic, will you?

Of course not. What is it?

You'll keep calm.

The back wheels again.

They're over the edge.

Betty, it's the firm's car.

I should get the sack, Betty.

Can't we both be killed?

No, we won't.

Not if we keep calm.

Maybe we should get the dog and put him in the front.

Over. No, he won't come, Betty.

Little rascal.

You could call the AA.

I'm not a member.

Tell him we're joined next week.

I'm not going without you, Frank.

We've got to get out. We can't sit here forever.

Will someone find us soon?

No traffic on the road.

Maybe.

Maybe we'll be seen by a passing ship.

That's nice.

Mum always liked Victor Sylvester.

We interrupt this programme to bring you a gale warning.

Gale force winds are imminent in three areas. White, Dover, Shannon, Fastnet,

Betty, you'll have to get out. I don't want you in any more danger. I am not

going without you, Frank.

Well, all right, then.

But you get out first.

Climb on the bonnet.

That might hold it.

That's it.

Go on.

Sit.

Come on, Ben. Don't... Keep the weight forward.

can see the main road.

Maybe we can attract some attention.

Wait a minute.

There's some fertiliser in the boot.

That won't attract anyone.

It's cleaning us down. I'll have to ditch it.

No, Frank, don't. No.

I've got to open the boot. No, please, Frank, I love you.

Yes, I know.

We'll talk about it later. Just...

I got rid of all the fertilizer.

Still smells a bit down here.

all right, Betty.

You're quite all right now.

There you are then, Betty.

See, as my mother always said, it's an ill wind that always ends well.