Original subtitles

Bobby. I think I'm marrying the wrong woman.

Do you remember where I put my... Oh.

I'm sorry. I didn't know.

Hey, is he okay?

I don't know.

Bobby.

Dude.

What's going on?

You just said some things.

You're getting married tomorrow.

Yeah, I don't know what I'm saying.

You know what? I'm not saying anything. I just, I'm tired and I've had a lot to

drink and I need to go to bed.

Good night.

What was that about?

You know, I don't know.

Well, what did he say?

I'm not sure.

You know, I think he has cold feet.

We Newmans usually get cold feet after the wedding.

I'm sorry.

I'm a little thrown by what just happened.

You want to just call it a night?

Yeah, yeah, I think that would be best.

Tomorrow's the big day, so... Yeah, definitely.

Okay. Okay.

I never really understood where the phrase out of left field came from, but

certainly know what it means.

One tiny interrupted conversation can change everything.

Ready for your big day? Yeah, totally. I'm psyched.

Dude, I was up with Maggie last night till 4 a .m. It was epic.

What's wrong with you? What? It's just wedding day. I just want to hear about

your dirty times.

I'm getting married, but he's still a man.

Yeah, it's okay, Mike. I'll take a rain check on the stories about you sleeping

with my mother's friend.

Okay, but clean up Mike's room.

Hey, I got a favor to ask you guys.

These are for Elsa, and I want you to find time today when she's alone and

them to her. What's up?

Just little notes, letting her know that I'm thinking about her and I'm looking

forward to being married to her and stuff.

Uh, dude, stop auditioning. You got the part.

This is really sweet.

Don't read them. Just give them to her. I'm on it.

So, uh, what are we doing? We going to breakfast? Sounds good. Last breakfast

a single man.

Yeah.

Yeah. And boom. And boom.

Last high five as a single man. I doubt it.

Hey, morning, Elsa. Elsa.

Whoa, wait.

Isn't it bad luck for the bride and the groom to see each other before the

wedding? I'm sorry, you guys. I need to talk to Bobby.

We're heading out to breakfast.

You're more than welcome to join.

I meant alone.

Okay. We'll get you a muffin.

That did not look good. What are you talking about?

They're about to make sweet love.

I don't like it.

It's bad luck. This whole thing feels bad.

Would you relax? She couldn't wait to get the sexy time. It's all good.

Randall, tell him it's all good. It's all good. Let's go eat.

I went.

What? Wait a minute.

Why am I agreeing with Mike? It doesn't feel right, does it? No, not at all.

You hear anything?

I don't want to know what's going on there.

Dude, if they are in there making sweet love, you're going to feel pretty slimy

about listening like that. They're not making sweet love. They're definitely

talking. I just can't hear what they're talking about. Maybe they're just

talking about us.

Yeah. Elsa woke up on her wedding day and her first thought was, I need to

more about Bobby's friends.

How many combs does Mike have? Does Brendan have a bicycle?

Man, when you're sarcastic, there's a real edge to it.

Oh, really?

Yeah, I hear it. Dude.

We should probably talk about how long we're going to wait out here.

What do you mean?

I'm starving.

We stay here until he comes out.

We're his best men. It's our job to be here for him. Yeah. Well, do we get a

lunch break?

I'm not going anywhere.

Me neither.

I'm staying.

I'm starting to get worried, though, man. They shouldn't be talking that

Hey. Good morning.

Hi. You?

Good morning.

She's getting some coffee.

Do you sleep well?

Actually, I was kind of up most of the night thinking about stuff.

Jack,

listen, I think... Can I interrupt you for a second? I would love it if you

I've got to get on a plane back to New York right after the ceremony.

Oh. So I just thought that I would let you know so that we can avoid one of

those awkward conversations.

What, did you think this was awkward?

I'm thinking about growing a mustache.

Fascinating. Break me when you're done.

Dude, I could totally rock a stache.

Like Burt Reynolds.

Me too.

You? More like Debbie Reynolds.

What is that supposed to mean? You're a hairless freak.

Whatever, I could totally outstache you.

Oh, me or him? Both of you.

Please! Get out of here. There are three things that I do well.

Change a flat tire. Scare babies.

Live in a house with one chair?

Soothe a wild dog and grow facial hair.

Okay. It's on.

Mustache growing contest. We judge the results in one month. One month.

Done.

What? Fools.

I have a head start. I didn't shave today.

Moron. He's had a beard for like two years. Hello.

Hey. Oh, hey.

Can I have a bite of that?

Uh, no.

What are you girls doing?

Well, as you must know, we're having a mustache growing contest.

Interesting. So even if you win, you still lose.

Why are you doing it here?

Bobby and Elsa are in there talking.

Really? We think they might be breaking up.

Rookies.

Maybe I'll go talk to them.

Give them some advice from the old pro.

Get married and see how it goes. We belong together.

Mustache contest, huh?

Can I help you somewhere? All right.

Hey, guys, what's going on?

Bobby and Elsa are in there talking.

About what?

Don't know. They've been in there for a long time.

Oh, no.

And you guys are just sitting here?

Yeah. We're the best men.

Plus, we're having a mustache -growing contest.

Not me. I was disqualified for thinking that stupid.

Hey, is everything okay, or...? Um, no.

The wedding's off.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, so that's not happening.

What?

Maybe a little food will make you feel better.

What?

After Bobby's wedding fiasco, it's nice to be home where everything is familiar

and back to normal.

Kind of.

It's like meeting women wasn't challenging enough for you guys.

Kidding? I'm getting a ton of attention from the ladies. I mean, mostly them

holding their purses tighter or steering their kids away from me, but still.

I'm getting noticed by all kinds of girls that were never noticing me

Like that hot Polish girl at the corner grocery last time I was in there. Dude,

she flirted hard.

Camilla? She's married. She's got like six kids.

Not saying it's ideal.

And Maggie called. She wants to get together.

Seriously? Absolutely.

Strange. I mean, she seems like a woman of class and substance, but she clearly

has a screw loose.

What we had at that ranch was magical.

You can't blame her for wanting to transition our fling into something

I don't know.

Sometimes those quick flings are better left in the past.

Yeah, everybody knows the camp relationships don't transfer back to

Yeah, just like in Greece.

But they got together at the end of Greece.

You did?

Yeah, you don't remember? Olivia Newton -John shows up at the school carnival?

Wearing the skin -tight black outfit?

Oh, yeah!

Okay, I'm down.

Hello, everyone!

It's the new papa. What's up? Hey, how's Meredith?

How's little Oliver?

Everyone is doing great.

Savannah's thrilled.

Oliver is a bundle of heaven.

Hey, can I give you some footage here? Yeah.

Dude, he looks just like you. All babies look just like me.

Here you go, Paige.

Oh, thanks.

D 'Artagnan.

Oh, thank you, sir. American Chopper.

Amber Alert.

Oh, I'm so glad you're here. I really didn't think I was going to see you for

long time. Meredith and I decided we weren't going to let the new baby

our lives too much. We're going to try to find time for our lives and our

hobbies. Good for you.

Yeah. Since I don't have hobbies, booze.

Well, we're almost up to full strength.

Yeah. Have you guys heard from Bobby? No. No.

Going on your honeymoon by yourself.

Rough. Yeah.

Well, between us, marrying a hot Swedish girl? Come on, what was he thinking?

And how long did he expect that to last? That's like marrying a semi -successful

actress. Shouldn't you be telling the neighbors you're a sex offender?

Shouldn't you be panning for gold circa 1849?

I don't know, man.

When Wendy dumped me, it kind of messed me up for a while. And, I mean, Bobby

practically got dumped at the altar.

I wouldn't worry about Bobby.

What do you mean?

He was the one having second thoughts.

How do you know?

The night before the wedding.

Came to talk to me about it. He talked to you?

Yeah. How long have you been sitting on this piece of information?

Since the night before the wedding.

How come he didn't tell us?

I don't know. Priest -client privilege.

Ever heard of it? Okay, well, what did he say?

That he was having second thoughts about getting married.

Yeah, but why?

God, who remembers? That was like three weeks ago.

Andy, just try to remember.

What the hell do you care anyway?

I don't know. I'm his friend. I care about him.

Yeah, he's a handsome 29 -year -old millionaire in Bora Bora. I think he's

Thank you, pervert.

I just can't believe you didn't tell us.

I have more important things on my mind.

Like who's going to save that girl Utah into the railroad track?

Stephanie is like my tax guy.

Except instead of bringing a shoebox full of receipts and checks up, I bring

gossip and theories and she helps me sort them out. Bobby came to your room.

Why am I just learning this three weeks later? Sorry, it's just...

God, everything was so weird with his brother, and then the wedding falling

apart. I thought I was just misinterpreting what he was saying.

So why are you telling me this now?

Because Andy just told me that Bobby visited him, too, and said that he was

having second thoughts.

Andy just told you this? Yeah, I know. Can you believe that? Waiting three

to tell me? I mean, what is that about?

Oh, yes, I see the irony.

All right, well, what do you think this all means?

Okay.

Well, actually, I don't know, but...

I have a feeling that Bobby was trying to tell me that he has feelings for me.

What do you think?

Do you think Bobby likes me?

Do you know what the definition of a crazy person is?

Stuffed. No.

Seriously? Do you?

Someone who does things that are of or related to craziness? A crazy person is

someone who does the same thing over and over again and honestly expects a

different result. No, he was trying to tell me something.

I'm not going to let you do this again, okay?

You flew him to Italy, and you wussed out, and you helped his fiancée plan his

wedding.

Seriously, PJ.

It's getting pathetic.

Or is it getting romantic?

I mean, maybe I'm like one of those characters in one of those Victorian

huh? Which one?

Oh, God, I don't know. The one with Keira Knightley?

You know, this is not healthy.

Uh -uh. You need to get into something new.

Here and now.

You're a hot, funny, semi -sane girl. There are a million guys who would kill

go out with you.

Oh, here we go.

Seriously, Peach, this Bobby thing is keeping you from having a real

relationship.

Move on.

You're probably right.

Are you aware that I'm a best -selling relationship guru?

I am.

Then I'm definitely right.

All right, thank you so much. I feel better.

My pleasure.

But I'll let you pay for breakfast anyway.

God, I honestly, I don't know why I took so long to tell you. I feel so much

better. You know, I've just been living with this. I feel like it's just been

eating me up inside.

Well, lesson learned. Hey, a wound heals faster in the sunlight.

I slept with Kenny.

Let's deal it out.

Well, it doesn't seem like it.

Wait, so it's just the four of us? What's with all the empty chairs?

It's Andy or Bobby shows up. Dude, you have to stop waiting for Bobby, all

right? He's not going to show up.

Put that chair away.

You never know.

And if he does, I think it would be nice if we had a seat waiting for him. He'll

be like our Elijah.

That would have killed my other game.

What are we even doing?

Poker with four is the worst.

You know what might be cool?

We could learn how to play bridge.

Bridge? That's ridiculous.

Wait. I'm sorry, mustaches are okay and bridge is ridiculous? Where is the line?

Hey, everyone. Hey.

Andy, I didn't expect you. Come on. Of course. I told you, me and Meredith are

determined to not let Oliver disrupt our lives.

Okay, that's great.

Yeah, it's not working. We haven't slept in days.

Andy,

come on. We need you to play.

Oh, just 15 minutes.

That sounds great.

Oh, come on, Andy. You've got to pull it together. PJ's threatening to turn this

into a bridge game.

Bridge sounds nice.

And we lost him.

I don't know how to play bridge.

All right, I'll grab his wallet and tail him in. Yeah.

Hey!

When did you get in?

Just a couple hours ago. I threw my stuff in the apartment and I came here.

I'm still completely on Bora Bora time.

It's good to have you back, buddy. Here.

Take a seat.

Thanks. Man, I missed you guys.

Hey, I'm still stripping, Maggie.

Oh, I know. I got your letters.

Wow, what's with the mustaches?

We're having a mustache contest.

PJ's going to declare a winner tomorrow.

Really? Will you ride in on one of those bicycles with one giant wheel and one

tiny wheel?

Nice! No one's done that one.

All right, so how are you?

Tell us the story.

I'm good. I'm sorry to have included you guys in all the drama, but I'm glad

that it happened.

And I'll tell you the whole story soon, but right now, I just want to play some

poker. Hey,

Bobby!

Hey, Andy. What's new, man?

I have a new son.

Give me a scotch, will you?

All right,

Andy. Wake up.

You lost 80 bucks.

How long was I out?

A couple hours.

Worth it.

See ya. See ya.

Dude.

You must be exhausted.

How was your flight?

Oh, man. You remember our flight to Italy, right?

Just double that, minus you, and plus a monsoon.

It's really good.

It's nice to be home.

Wait, sorry. So here are the latest names for the bar.

We got severe tire damage, Sasquatch, or Dr. Brando's Magic Rockatorium.

Are these names for your bar or your high school rock band? Ooh, high school

rock band. Dude, that's good.

Yeah.

Call it free booze for Mike, because that's what's going to happen. No, no,

no. All right, I'm hungry. Who wants to eat?

Me. I'm in.

I can't, guys. I've got to get some sleep.

All right.

Later.

All right.

I looked up out of left field.

It comes from when the Cubs moved to Wrigley in 1915.

U of I bought the old property and put a mental hospital where left field used

to be.

So the phrase has come to mean any action that is out of the blue and,

crazy.

Um, Bobby, I just have to clear the air on something.

Um... When we were in Italy, there was actually, like, a bunch of stuff that I

never said, and I kind of feel like at your wedding there was maybe some stuff

that you wanted to say.

I don't know. Anyway, the point is, is, uh... I'm actually kind

of crazy about you, and I have been for a really long time, and I think you're

awesome, and I actually would like there to be more between us.

But it is totally okay that you don't think that way.

I get it. I just, you know, I just wanted to say something, you know?

I'm crazy about you, too.

Yeah? Yeah.

Absolutely. You are all I thought about on my honeymoon.

That sounded so weird.

The point is, I'm crazy about you, too, and I have a 12 -page letter in my

jacket that proves it, which now seems a little long, but I was kind of lonely.

Hmm.

Wow.

Oh, the beard.

Wow, I didn't even think about that. Is it kind of like...

Kissing a burly adventurer.

I don't like kissing the guy who yells at the owl.

I think we're kind of saying the same thing.