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Previously on "Suits LA"...
I've been up and running
as the head of the Criminal Division since Monday.
Then we need to make an announcement
as soon as possible.
Big, splashy case, preferably related to entertainment.
- You know Sierra Carson? - Of course I do.
Teen star accused of assaulting her father.
Don't you wanna know if I did it?
Not right now.
I believe I have myself a new attorney, Your Honor.
"The Office" was a work of genius!
Even Toby was funnier than you!
So you told Patton to start that whole thing with me?
I did.
I need to know if I'm facing criminal charges.
You got yourself into this; you can get yourself out.
Yeah, I killed Janet Fields, and I will kill you.
But I'm not gonna have to,
'cause you don't wanna hurt Helen.
Or your sweet children.
I recorded everything that you just said.
So if anything ever happens to my good friend,
you are going to spend
the rest of your life in prison.
Okay, but if that gets heard, you know what I'm capable of.
♪ It's tearing up my heart when I'm with you ♪
♪ And no matter what I do
♪ I feel the pain
♪ With or without you
♪ And baby, I don't understand ♪
♪ Just why we can't be lovers
Come on, guys, you're supposed to come in on the--
ah, suck it.
You two take the fun out of everything.
♪ But baby
♪ Can win
What the hell? You hit me.
I hit you because you stopped short.
I stopped exactly where I'm supposed to stop,
and maybe you would have seen that
if you weren't busy dancing to some '90s boy band music.
I was listening to no such thing.
Oh, really? Is this you?
That is not how I car dance.
And even if I were expressing joy during a very popular song
that just happened to be on,
there's a sign right there that says,
no stopping unless you're an idiot.
- It doesn't say that! - You're right.
It says no stopping unless you're a moron--my bad.
You better rethink calling me a moron
in front of my flesh and blood.
It can't be a surprise to them.
They better pray it skips a generation.
Just give me your information
before I skip on over to the police.
Fine. Now, get back into
your roller skate you call a car.
Never want to see your "Drake & Josh" guest star face again.
I recurred on "Drake & Josh,"
and I was a lead on "Community."
An overrated show if there ever was one.
"Community" is one of the greatest sitcoms ever filmed,
and don't you forget it.
I will forget it the same way the American public has.
Oh, it's on,
you ZZ Top-looking moth--
That's right.
I said it.
New car?
It's a loaner.
Some stupid mom stopped short in the drop-off lane.
- And you hit her? - That's what she's claiming.
And let me guess.
You told her very calmly it wasn't a problem,
and you came to a mature resolution.
- What's your point? - That you have a temper.
Since when do I have a temper?
When they put the wrong soap in the bathrooms.
Hygiene's important. What are we, cavemen?
- Ben's Pomeranian. - It's not a service animal.
Carol's time-off request.
I'll give you that one,
though I still think preeclampsia
sounds like a made-up condition.
I mean, think about it.
You never hear about post-eclampsia.
What is wrong with you?
The point is, just 'cause this woman's on TV
doesn't mean she can get away
with forcing me to rear-end her.
Wait, did you just say on TV?
- Maybe. - Who is it?
I'd rather not say.
Why not?
Because, upon further reflection,
she may be Rick's client.
Maybe or is?
That is an interesting question--to be or not to be?
Stuart, who is this woman?
Yvette Nicole Brown.
Let me get this straight.
You rear-ended Rick's client, insisted on it being her fault,
and called her an idiot in front of the entire school.
How can you know that?
Were you there? - No.
I've known you for longer than five seconds.
Now, let me tell you what's going to happen.
You're going to call Yvette,
tell her you'll pay for any damage,
and apologize for getting worked up.
But I don't want to.
Then you can supplement Rick's bonus
to the tune of 5% of her earnings every year
from now until forever.
I could probably lob a call her way.
Okay.
So the charge is aggravated assault,
which means they're going to say
that not only did you hurt your father,
you intended serious bodily injury.
Now, we're going to argue that they cannot prove
that that was your intent.
That was my intent.
Walk me through why.
There was this part that I was offered.
A real role-- like a chance to prove
that I'm more than some stupid teen star.
And he killed it.
So you found that out, you came home,
and you just threw the statue at him?
No, I told him I'm sick of him
trying to control everything that I do,
and he said that part would make me a joke.
I screamed at him.
He wants me to stay that little girl
from "Wholesome Creek" forever.
He said, that little girl won that award.
I took one look at it,
lost it, and threw it at his face.
And then what happened?
Blood started pouring out,
so I called 911.
And they took him to the hospital,
and then they arrested me.
Okay, we do have a hearing
to get you access to your money for your defense.
So is there anything else I might need to know?
It's not just my career my dad tries to control.
I mean, he won't even let me see my money.
I think he's spending it on himself.
I don't trust him.
He won't even show me the books.
Well, that all ends today.
♪ See the money, wanna stay for your meal ♪
♪ Get another piece of pie for your wife ♪
♪ Everybody wanna know how it feel ♪
♪ Everybody wanna see what it's like ♪
♪ I'll even eat a bean pie, I don't mind ♪
♪ Me and Missy is so busy, busy making money ♪
♪ All right
♪ All step back, I'm 'bout to dance ♪
♪ The greenback boogie
What's taking him so long?
It's Stuart's bachelor party.
He can take as long as he wants.
But since we are waiting,
tomorrow's our last day in California.
Do you want to go to Universal Studios?
Do you want to go to the beach?
Anything you want to do.
I want to visit Samantha.
Eddie, things are a little complicated with Samantha.
We haven't spoken since she left.
I miss her.
Don't you miss her too?
Yeah, I miss her, but--
Hey, who's ready for a bachelor party?
- Ah! - What's up, Eddie?
Come here.
Okay, okay.
Hey, bud, do you want to wait for us in the car?
All right.
He seems good, given everything.
He doesn't know.
His father's on trial, and he doesn't know?
If he knew, he'd want to be there,
and I don't want him to hear what that bastard
is capable of, so no.
Well, what happens if they find him guilty?
I will drive off that bridge when I get to it.
Either way, thank you very much
for moving your bachelor party to this weekend.
Of course, man, you're my best friend in the world.
I'd move it to Mars if it would help.
I'm only sad you're not here for longer.
We're not gonna kiss, are we?
Everything's on the table tonight, Ted.
It's my last hurrah. Helen wouldn't mind.
Do you think that Helen is saying the same sort of thing
at her bachelorette?
That's not funny.
Yes, it is.
Patton, what are you doing here?
I am here to sign my contract.
Yeah, let me explain to you how that works.
You sign... - Mm-hmm.
After I'm done negotiating.
Ted, this is my dream role, okay?
I've been dying to do a movie like this for years.
- They're not gonna recast you. - You don't know that.
What I know is,
if you sign now, any demands that you might have--
I have no problems with the contract
as it currently stands.
I'll sign, okay?
I have no other demands on this movie.
- You sure? - 1,000%.
I'll get the contract and meet you in my office.
Okay.
Brian.
Patton.
Man, I am so sorry for how things went
between us last time.
I appreciate that. Thank you.
Erica told me you were just trying
to work me up for my own good.
Even so, things got out of hand.
I said things I didn't mean.
If there's anything I can do to make up for it, man,
please let me know. - Because you brought it up,
Erica told me about the new movie you're doing.
I'd love a part in that. - My what now?
Movie.
I'd like for you to get me a part in your new movie.
The thing is, like, you're doing drama now,
and this is an action comedy.
And there's no drama in it, you know?
That's okay. I'm still willing to do comedy.
The thing about your comedy, though, is it's not--
Physical?
Funny.
I'm not funny?
You know, I've won two Emmys.
Yeah, for an ensemble.
I mean, it's like getting a participation trophy.
Ensemble, says the man who is playing
comic relief in an action film
and suddenly thinks he's an action star.
How dare you say that to me?
I've been working out.
At what gym, the Waffle House?
I'll have you know, I can do 34 push-ups.
You could do 100 push-ups.
No one is ever going to believe that "Ratadouchie"
could fall out of an airplane,
much less jump out of one.
It's "Ratatouille,"
and that's your opinion.
Is it--is it also my opinion that the sky is blue?
Because you've got a better chance
of convincing the world that that's not true
than that you can do your own stunts.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Nothing's wrong with me. I'm alive!
You won't be if you don't get off right now.
Make me, you piece of--
Hey, hey! What the hell is going on?
both: He started it.
I don't care who started it.
I'm ending it. Now.
Hey, Ted. It's great to see you.
So tell Erica, give me a call, all right?
And, uh, we'll just...
Do the things that we do.
He was--he was--
yeah, okay.
Good morning, Ricardo.
Have I mentioned to you
how much I think you're killing it?
What did you do, and what makes you think
I'm going to help you fix it?
Berry Extraordinary Danish?
That's what they call it, and, believe me,
it is berry, berry good.
Whatever it is, the answer is no.
You do realize you work for me?
And if it was something that fell
within the bounds of my job, this Danish wouldn't be here.
It'd be in your belly.
Okay, fine.
Yvette Nicole Brown.
Oh, my God, I should have known.
You're the drop-off dad from hell.
Then I'm sure you're aware
it wasn't a crash, it was a ding,
and it was her fault.
Then why are you here?
Samantha helped me realize that I may have overreacted.
And therefore, I am prepared to--
You can do it.
Spit it out.
Apologize
and make restitution,
if you could convey those sentiments, so on and so forth.
No.
I'm saying I'm sorry.
No, Stuart, you're asking me to say you're sorry.
And the last time you asked me to talk to someone for you,
it didn't go well.
Rick, I'm not asking as your boss.
I'm asking as your friend.
Well, then I'm telling you, as your friend,
making an apology through a third party,
that's not an apology.
You got to man up, Stuart.
Whatever you do, just please,
don't be yourself.
Danish stays.
All right.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Me? He had the nerve
to demand a part in my new movie.
But how did that lead to that?
That's not important.
What's important is, I want to do my own stunts.
What?
Since when?
Since always.
That's really the reason I came in today.
I want to make sure you put, "he can do his own stunts" in
before I sign any contract.
Patton, two minutes ago,
you were over the moon.
What's going on?
Look, Ted, I'm sorry.
I know I'm not anyone's idea of a quintessential action hero,
but I want to do my own stunts.
This is really important to me.
If it wasn't this important, I wouldn't ask you to do it.
Your Honor, we believe that Sierra's father
has been taking advantage of her.
Me?
She's the one that shows up, and not a day later,
there's a big announcement in the paper
that her firm is representing my daughter.
And you're the one using her earnings for yourself.
Oh, that's outrageous.
I do what is in the best interests of Sierra.
I always have.
Then show us the books.
I don't have to show you anything.
He's right. He doesn't.
And I'm inclined to deny your petition for a conservator.
- Your Honor-- - You've presented no evidence
of anything you're saying.
Is your client alleging physical abuse?
Sexual abuse? - No, but if I--
Then for all I know, this is a 16-year-old girl
who doesn't like that her dad isn't letting her
have what she wants.
Your Honor, you said that I was more qualified
than the public defender. - Yes.
That's why I let you take the case in the first place.
But that doesn't mean a girl who's accused
of assaulting her father can use money
he controls to get away with it.
How is she meant to fund her defense?
That's not the court's problem.
You want to give this back to the public defender's office?
No, I don't want to do that.
I care about my client, not the money.
Then it looks like you're handling this pro bono,
and we're going to trial.
Ted.
Amanda, I thought that you were leaving pro bono
to head Criminal and not leveraging Criminal
to do pro bono.
Believe me, bringing on Sierra for free
was not the plan.
I understand, but this is your first case.
We made a big, splashy announcement.
And doing it for free sends the wrong message.
I don't care what message it sends.
She doesn't have the money. I'm not gonna drop my client.
I'm not asking you to drop her.
I'm telling you there's a way to make it work.
- How? - Get Erica to sign her.
That way, we get an entertainment client
out of the Criminal Division,
which is the reason we have both.
- The only problem I see? - Mm-hmm?
The father.
Amanda, I'm not asking you what the problem is.
I am just asking you to fix it.
Miss Brown,
thank you so much for coming.
Oh, I'm Miss Brown now?
I thought I was a overrated moron
who can't read a stop sign that doesn't exist.
Clearly, I was worked up,
and I shouldn't have spoken to you in that manner.
You are an exceedingly funny actress,
and I would be more than happy to pay for any damages
to your vehicle.
That's what you got?
I have been an actress long enough to know
a scripted apology when I hear one.
Scripted or not, it's an apology.
Now you accept it.
So you're telling me that I have to accept it?
Well, what happens if I don't?
That would be unfortunate.
Are you threatening me?
No.
'Cause it sounds like you're threatening me.
Help! I'm being threatened!
- Shut up! What are you doing? - Help!
I am showing you what a fine actress I am.
And if you can't do better than that excuse for an apology,
your firm is gonna lose a client.
You're gonna drop our firm
because you didn't like my delivery?
You're damn skippy 'cause I'm not gonna be represented
by a bloated windbag--
How dare you call me a bloated windbag,
you has-been whack job.
- What did you just call me? - Did I stutter?
Now you're making fun of people who stutter?
No!
But I will make fun of anyone I want.
Now I realize that leaving this firm may not be enough.
You're not leaving anything because I'm kicking you out.
And guess what? That apology was BS
'cause you're a crappy driver, you're not funny,
and it will be a cold day in hell
before I ever apologize to the world's least talented actress.
Least talented actress.
There's at least five more that are worse than me.
Maybe four.
Oh.
Please, come in. I need a distraction.
Tough contract?
Brian Baumgartner's rental agreement in New York--
wants the pet deposit waived.
What kind of pet does he have?
He doesn't--says the whim may strike him.
Reason number 761 why I don't represent actors.
But you do, which is why I'm here.
Ted wants you to sign Sierra Carson.
- No. - I get it.
You're worried about the charges against her,
but I am telling you, I'm gonna win this.
It doesn't matter if you win or not.
She's a child star past her prime.
- Erica-- - I don't have time
to take on a client that no one's gonna hire.
In that case, you know that thing you're always saying
you haven't thanked me for enough?
You haven't.
I thought you said all those Chinese dinners did that.
I was lying. You owe me.
You really are head of Criminal now, aren't you?
You bet your ass I am.
One more thing.
She can't actually sign with us until she's 18
or the father approves, which he may never do.
So we can't make money off of her for another two years?
It's a long-term investment.
You have always been very good at the--the long game.
Fine.
I'll do it,
and I'll convince the father for you,
but please, don't kiss my ass.
It's not a good color on you.
That is very insightful of you.
Next up, we have the dynamic duo
of Stuart and the Tedster.
And they're "Tearin' Up My Heart."
- You didn't. - I did, and you are.
- Stuart. - Come on.
Fine. I'm doing it myself.
- I'm not-- - I'm doing it myself.
Get up here, Ted. You know why?
both: ♪ It's tearing up my heart when I'm with you ♪
♪ And when we are apart, I feel it too ♪
♪ And no matter what I do
♪ I feel the pain
♪ With or without you
Hey!
You a big fan of NSYNC?
No, I hate them. That's my brother.
Oh, yeah. I see the resemblance.
Are you Patton Oswalt?
- You know who I am? - Of course.
I love "The King of Queens" and "Ratatouille."
A man of refinement and taste.
I like that. What's your name?
- Eddie. - Eddie.
both: ♪ Tearing up my heart when I'm with you ♪
Let me tell you something. Your brother--
Patton, can I get an autograph?
Yeah, I'm talking to my friend, Eddie, right now.
Yeah, come on, just sign real quick.
I gotta go.
Listen, I'm talking to my friend Eddie, okay?
Come on, dude, Make-A-Wish can wait.
Make-A-Wish? That's brilliant.
I know someone who made a wish.
Your mom wished that you didn't grow up to be a mean douche.
What did you just say to me?
I'm sorry.
I meant to say your mom should have seriously
considered birth control.
Too good for me now?
Do you have anything else you want to say?
- You all right? - No.
Yeah.
I saw you stand up for my brother there.
Thank you. Ted Black.
Patton Oswalt.
- Teddy. - Yeah?
He's famous.
You wanted to see me?
So Patton Oswalt comes in today.
He's itching to sign his contract.
And then he gets into a fight with Brian Baumgartner,
and all of a sudden,
he wants to do all of his own stunts.
And you want to know if Brian had anything to do
with Patton's ask? - I do.
Long story short, Brian told him
he couldn't do his own stunts.
Okay.
Thank you, Erica.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Now, hold on there, slugger.
As long as I'm here, next time you want me to sign a client,
you come to me.
Don't send Amanda.
I hate when clients are shoved down my throat.
I thought it was a win-win.
Well, if it a win-win, why didn't you sign her?
First of all, 40-year-old man swoops in
to save teen starlet with Daddy issues
has lawsuit written all over it.
40?
Being a little generous with yourself there,
aren't you, Grandpa?
Hurtful.
Second of all, this is a young woman
with a controlling man in her life,
and you are better suited to represent her than I am.
I gotta say, I didn't think you had it in you
to see it like that.
Do you have it in you to apologize
for calling me Grandpa? - No.
But I will sign Sierra Carson.
Do you mind telling me how you intend to do that?
Easy-- I'm going to help Amanda
get her out of her assault charge,
and when it's over, she's going to be begging me to sign her.
Now, make me a drink.
Stop asking silly questions, Pop-Pop.
I have never liked you.
And you never will.
Your Honor, we weren't supposed to start trial
for another week.
I'm aware of that, Ms. Stevens,
but the prosecution has a motion.
The state now believes that Miss Carson
should be tried as an adult.
She is 16 years old.
You were before this judge yesterday
arguing she should have her own money for her defense.
I was arguing for a conservator,
and the judge said no.
Not to letting her pick her own attorney.
Your Honor, this is nothing but this man trying
to make a name for himself and would not be happening
if my client were not famous.
It's not my fault she's an actress who
earns as much as an adult
and knew full well the consequences
of what would happen
if that statue hit her father's head.
I have to say, I'm inclined to agree.
I understand that, but he is springing this on us
with no notice.
If you'd like 24 hours to respond,
I'll grant you that.
Actually, I'd like a moment with my client.
How badly do you want to be free of your father?
It's all I think about.
I told you, he controls everything I do.
Then here's the thing.
I can fight this,
but I think if we accept it,
we can use it to get you free of him, once and for all.
And what if they find me guilty as an adult?
I don't want to go to prison.
It's a first-time offense. It's aggravated assault.
There is no way I'm letting you go to prison for that.
Okay.
I trust you.
Okay.
Your Honor, we agree to be tried
as an adult on the condition that you acknowledge
you are declaring her an adult,
and she is legally emancipated.
So ruled.
- No. - Rick.
- Get out of my office, Stuart. - Listen to me.
I already heard what happened.
Yvette came in here for an apology,
and you insulted her even more.
Do you know what I had to do to convince her not to drop me?
Promise you'd bring the dead goat to her next coven meeting?
You think that's funny?
She's a major client, and she's important to me.
No, I don't think this is funny,
and she may not have dropped you,
but she found a way to punish me.
Punish you how?
She got a restraining order against me.
Stuart, I'm her lawyer.
I didn't file any restraining order.
What are you talking about?
This is not a restraining order.
This is just a letter barring you from the school.
Exactly.
I'm being restrained from going to my children's school.
Well, maybe you should be kept away
from children if you--
wow--
made fun of people with disabilities?
She's twisting what I said so they would bar me.
Says here you mocked people who stutter.
I would never do that.
I reserve the right to mock people who stutter.
It's a free speech issue.
Let's just call up the school, then.
You tell them about the First Amendment,
and I'm sure they'll let you back in
around the 7th of Nevuary.
Why are you taking her side in this?
Because you're in the wrong
in every part of this conversation.
Rick,
my children are the most important thing
in the world to me.
My daughter's play is this weekend.
My son's soccer team is in the semifinals.
I've never missed a game. Please.
I told you before I was asking for your help as a friend.
Now I'm asking as a father.
I need you to convince her to drop this.
I'll do anything.
Well, Patton, it's been very nice talking to you,
but I need to go get my buddy Stuart
before he starts singing Carly Simon.
I gotta ask.
You're the guy that took down John Pellegrini, right?
Come on.
What can I say, man? I'm a Scorsese fan.
I follow mob trials.
So, to you, I'm famous?
But, to you, I'm famous.
I never actually heard of you.
What?
Out here, no one is honest with you like that.
It's really refreshing.
I heard your Neil Diamond earlier.
Would you like my unvarnished opinion on that too?
No.
Do you have a business card?
No, I don't, I'm actually--
I'm in between jobs at the moment.
Well, if you ever think about becoming
an entertainment lawyer, look me up.
I would, except for one thing.
- What? - I'd rather kill myself
than become an entertainment lawyer.
We don't want that.
- Nice to meet you, Patton. - Nice to meet you, Ted.
Yeah. Uh-oh.
There he is.
You gotta get me out of here.
What's going on?
You haven't even sung Carly Simon yet.
You remember your surefire way to not throw up?
Yeah, don't drink too much.
I didn't do it.
Let's get you-- let's get you home.
Come on, buddy. Hey. - He's famous.
Yes, he is.
Okay, Patton, before I convince the studio
to let you do your own stunts,
it's going to cost them $1 million in insurance,
so they're not gonna let you change your mind.
Why would I change my mind?
Let's take a look at the animatic of the stunt.
Well, we're on a plane. I've flown before.
The stunt...
has not started yet.
Oh. I know that. I know.
- There it is. - Whoa!
He jumped out of the plane!
Jumped out of the plane. Okay, he's falling.
He's doing somersaults.
Why does the script call for him to do--
does he have no sense of self-preserva--
where's his parachute? - Wait for it.
Pulled the ripcord.
Pulled the ripcord, it is over.
No, it's--
it's not because your parachute snaps.
For the love of God!
Who packed the freakin' parachute?
You did.
I di--this guy is a Navy SEAL!
He doesn't know how to pack a parachute?
Your character is not a Navy SEAL.
If he's not a Navy SEAL, why is he jumping out of airplanes?
Make it stop. - No.
What? What? What? What?
We are going to watch because of...
the landing.
Oh, God!
That's not a landing.
That is not a landing.
That is--that's death.
He died.
He's de--I'm dead.
He died, and I'm dead.
Are you okay?
What about me looks okay right now?
Nothing.
So let me get you out of this thing.
No. I still want to do it.
I want to do it. - All right, listen.
Look, I heard what Brian said to you.
You don't have to prove anything to him.
- I appreciate that, okay? - Okay.
But it's not about him anymore.
This is about me facing and overcoming my fear.
And if I can't do that, I can never act again.
You're gonna have to walk me through that.
You were right, at first, okay?
It was about what Brian said.
He said I couldn't do it, so, oh, now I gotta do it.
But, Ted, the only place I've never been afraid
is when I'm performing.
And now I got it into my head
that this is part of that performance.
And I can't get it out of my head.
So now, if I don't do this stunt--
The only place that you've never been scared goes away.
I have to do this.
Then I'll get it done.
But we are gonna watch the animatic again.
Nope.
Okay.
No, no, no.
He always goes for the snacks when he's scared.
Amanda, what in God's name did you do?
I see that you read the court proceedings.
You mean the one where you agreed
to let Sierra be tried as an adult?
Erica--
Are you out of your goddamn mind?
Listen to me--
I was gonna lose that motion anyway.
At least this way, she's free. You can sign her.
I'm not talking about her career.
I'm not either. I'm looking out for her life.
Well, then you're failing on both counts
because she could end up in prison.
I'm not gonna let that happen.
Okay, Amanda, I'm no criminal attorney,
but even I can see you are way out in the deep end.
Please, tell me what's going on here.
Look, I get this girl. I get what she's going through.
I had a controlling father, but I had no one to help me,
and I'm not gonna let what happened to me happen to her.
Oh, my God.
That publicity-seeking son of a bitch.
You were right.
About what?
The DA interviewed the father,
and, based on his statement, they're upping the charges
to attempted murder.
Let me state the obvious.
You cannot take this to trial.
I-I don't have a choice.
I-I'm not in a position to cut a deal.
Maybe not with the DA,
but you can cut one with the father.
What do you want me to do?
He went to them and told them this.
He couldn't have known they were going to use
what he said to charge her with attempted murder.
You don't know that that's true.
And you don't know that it isn't.
- Erica, just-- - Look, you agreed
to let her be tried as an adult.
Attempted murder is five years, minimum?
Yeah.
You have no choice but to make peace with the father.
And if you don't, I will.
Yvette, thanks for coming in.
Oh, is that a peppermint latte?
Yeah, extra minty, with goat milk, just the way you like it.
Oh, well, I'll take it, but just because I'm thirsty.
Doesn't mean I'm buying whatever it is you selling.
Oh, okay.
Listen, um...
So I heard what you did to Stuart, and--
Ah, so you're worried he's going to retaliate?
He doesn't scare me. - Yvette--
Look, Rick,
I know you've always had a thing for me.
You know, you love someone that you represent,
and you know, sometimes the lines can get a little blurry.
I wouldn't necessarily--
And I know you've always seen yourself
as my knight in shining armor.
That part is true, yeah.
But, Rick, I need you to keep your sword in its sheath.
Where's this going?
I'm just trying to say that I'm not worried about Stuart
coming for me because I am a fierce, independent,
occasionally violent woman.
You said a lot of things there--
most of them, wish you hadn't.
But look, I'm not defending Stuart.
Despite his many shortcomings,
the man is a great father.
And if you don't lift this order,
he's gonna miss a huge part of his kids' lives,
and it's breaking his heart.
So you're pleading his case?
I'm asking what it would take to convince you
to talk to the school.
He'll do anything you ask.
- Anything? - Anything.
All right.
Number one, he is not allowed to listen to '90s boy bands
while driving ever again.
He should've never been allowed to do that
in the first place. - I agree.
And, two, he will write me a poem,
and he will recite it in front of a large gathering
of my friends and family.
I gotta admit, that's a good one.
- Mm-hmm. - He'll hate it,
but he'll do it.
Anything else?
Yeah, I got one more,
and this one's not negotiable.
Mr. Forrest, thank you for agreeing to meet.
Hello, Sierra.
Dad.
Why don't we have a seat?
So you're aware that they would be trying Sierra as an adult?
Uh, yes, they told me.
And what that means is, if she were found guilty,
she would be sent to an adult prison for five to seven years.
- No, that isn't what I want. - Good.
Because you can stop all of this
by telling that DA that you're not willing to testify
against your own daughter.
Now, before I say yes to anything,
I want to talk about her supposed emancipation.
It's not supposed. It happened.
And I'm not willing to give up supervision of your choices.
You mean supervision of her money?
What did you just say?
We can play games, or we can just cut to the chase.
You can keep all of her money.
She gets her freedom.
You want to pay me to stop being her father?
I want to pay you to let your daughter grow up.
And I'm taking that part.
No, you are doing no such thing.
I will not have the world see you as a--
As a--a what, a sexual being?
As a whore!
Well, I'm capable of making my own choices.
No, you are not.
The court thinks I am.
Because your lawyer argued for it.
I did that because you want to control her life
so that you can control her money.
If you think I care one bit about the money,
you don't know me at all.
Then why don't you just show her the books, you hypocrite?
Okay, that's enough.
Sierra, I'm going to tell you something
I don't think anyone's said to you before.
Your father is looking out for you.
You might not like how he's doing it,
but it is what he's doing.
- Exactly. - And you--
I've seen this movie before.
You can stop her from taking this role
for another two years, but one day,
another role will come along,
and she is not going to be your little girl anymore.
If you don't want her hating you for the rest of your life,
you need to wrap your mind around that.
I wasn't hiding the books because I took your money.
I was hiding them because there is so much,
and I didn't want it to mess you up.
If you want to take a role like this in two years,
there's nothing I can do to stop you.
But right now, you are too young.
I'm not.
Sierra, you threw a statue at the man's head.
What do you think?
I think Erica is a very smart woman.
Rick.
Look, Yvette is willing to give you what you want,
but she's got some demands.
You're gonna hate them, but you're gonna
swallow your pride, and you're gonna do them.
But?
One of them, I'm not sure how you're gonna react.
What is it?
She wants you to take an anger management course.
No.
She's trying to humiliate me.
No, not with this.
My goddamn anger is managed just fine.
Okay, look,
if you don't do this,
you aren't going to get to go
to another one of your kids' events.
Why are you doing this to me?
Me? I'm just trying to give you
what you want.
What I want is for her to stop threatening my family.
She is not threatening your family.
You don't know what she's capable of.
It's just a demand. You don't have to do it.
She's got a goddamn gun to my head!
Stuart.
What is really going on here?
Want to talk about it?
My father wasn't just controlling.
He was an addict.
He took my college money that I'd earned from working,
and I had to lie to keep him from going to prison.
That's just for starters.
Then it's a wonder you didn't throw
a statue at Sierra's father.
I might have.
But someone with a cooler head stepped in.
She sounds amazing.
You should thank her.
I should.
My father was hard on me too.
He pushed me, and he pushed me,
said that people like us need to work twice as hard
to get where we want.
I'd push back, too, of course.
Sometimes too hard.
We'd fight like cats and dogs,
but every Sunday,
we'd go out for breakfast, just me and him,
and I'd remember that no matter how angry I got at him,
he was doing it because he loved me.
What?
I was just gonna say I wish I'd had a father like that,
but I do--
My stepdad.
I need to call him later tonight,
after our plans.
What plans?
We're all set up upstairs,
in half an hour--Chinese food.
And this time it's on me.
You didn't.
You think I don't know how to thank a person?
Well, did you get egg rolls?
'Cause you know we can't eat Chinese food without egg rolls.
- Please. - Extra crispy?
Just the way you like them.
Well, then, I'll see you in a half-hour.
Fancy meeting you here.
Did you come to thank me
for not only signing Sierra Carson
but for making her charges go away too?
I came to tell you that I was right.
About what?
You being the perfect choice to represent her.
Let me get this straight.
I come in, save the day, and you take all the credit?
I'm sorry. Did you miss orientation?
Ted Black, nice to meet you.
I remember you.
Grandpa Black, been taking credit since 1929.
It's just the same joke over and over again.
I know, but it never gets old,
unlike you.
Seriously, Erica, I know that you didn't want this client.
I also know that I don't say this to you nearly enough,
but there is no person that I would rather have
by my side than you.
Rick.
What are you doing here?
Uh, actually, I came here to talk to Ted.
Of course.
I was just heading upstairs, anyway.
What's going on?
Look,
I don't know what happened
between you, Stuart, and David Bowie,
but Stuart needs you.
Stuart, what's going on?
Hey.
Rick came to see me.
I thought I was okay.
But Bowie threatened my family.
And I got into it with this mother at the school,
and I somehow thought she was threatening my family.
And now I can't go to the school.
And now I can't see my kids.
I'm not right.
Have you talked with Helen about this?
I can't.
Stuart, she's not just your wife.
She's a therapist. She'll understand.
I told you he threatened her.
I don't want to scare her.
I get it, but she can handle the truth.
I'm not telling her she's in danger!
Okay.
There's something wrong with me.
- Okay. - I need your help,
but I don't know what to do.
I got you.
I know what to do, okay?
♪ Now you're out of touch
Sorry, to drag you away from whatever you had planned today.
Please.
You know I'd do anything for Eddie.
I do.
You look nice.
Thank you.
So do you.
Thank you.
I heard you got into a bar fight
at Stuart's bachelor party.
It's not-- it's not my finest moment.
I know what's going on.
Your father's trial must have stirred up a lot of stuff.
He called this morning.
I didn't take it, but it's--
it's over.
He got convicted.
How's Eddie taking it?
I haven't told him yet.
You can't shield him from this, Ted.
It's his father.
He's an adult, and he deserves to know.
I just wanted to give him the day.
He wanted to spend it with you.
What are you gonna do?
Stuart's trying to get me to move out here,
which will never happen,
but we're gonna eat lunch by the beach
while he tries to convince me how nice LA is.
You'd never consider moving out?
I could never leave Eddie.
Samantha, I missed you.
I missed you too.
Come on.
Let's go.
Take care of yourself, Ted. - You too.
♪ It's been a long
♪ Long time
♪ Brother of mine
Ted, what brings you here so late?
I don't want to get into too many details, but
Stuart's struggling.
He needs some time off.
Does this have something to do with David Bowie?
It does.
That guy had trouble written all over him.
We took care of Bowie,
but Stuart's telling Helen
that he's going on a business trip
so that he doesn't worry her.
He would be gone a week or so.
You still think of him as a brother, don't you?
I didn't think I did, but...
turns out I do.
I won't say anything to Helen.
Thanks.
Would you like to stay for a drink?
A drink sounds nice.
♪ You're not too far
♪ Too far away
♪ It's been a long
♪ Long time
♪ Always
♪ Under the same
♪ Big sky
♪ Under the same
♪ Big love
Aaron. Aaron!
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