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1
00:00:05,209 --> 00:00:06,209
Morning, Kat.
2
00:00:06,270 --> 00:00:08,970
Morning, Harold. I'll get your coffee in
a minute. I'm a little swamped back
3
00:00:08,970 --> 00:00:12,830
here. No, thank you. No coffee for me.
Never again. I'm going cold turkey.
4
00:00:13,090 --> 00:00:13,949
Since when?
5
00:00:13,950 --> 00:00:16,149
Since I read the new study on the ill
effects of caffeine.
6
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:19,470
It's a powerful and dangerous drug, your
peddling.
7
00:00:19,690 --> 00:00:20,950
Relax. It's just coffee.
8
00:00:21,230 --> 00:00:22,290
I can relax.
9
00:00:22,630 --> 00:00:23,910
I'm not a coffee drinker.
10
00:00:27,310 --> 00:00:29,990
Anxiety and sleeplessness are two side
effects.
11
00:00:30,590 --> 00:00:33,330
Also decreased sperm mobility.
12
00:00:35,130 --> 00:00:37,710
That's right, you're up all night and
your boys can't dance.
13
00:00:39,470 --> 00:00:40,950
Harold, that's not true.
14
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It's a fact.
15
00:00:42,630 --> 00:00:45,250
And sterility isn't the worst of it.
16
00:00:45,750 --> 00:00:50,750
Coffee can cause respiratory problems
and heart disease. You might as well be
17
00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:52,690
pouring a hot cup of cigarettes.
18
00:00:55,510 --> 00:00:56,670
Would you stop?
19
00:00:57,350 --> 00:01:02,510
That's what you'll be saying to the pain
as your calcium star bones snap like
20
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bats.
21
00:01:05,260 --> 00:01:06,260
Well, wait.
22
00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:09,360
Carol. I love coffee and I hate lines.
23
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:18,940
I'm an open book with pages left to
write.
24
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I can't wait to see what's inside. This
is the new story of my life.
25
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,160
Somebody left their iPod here.
26
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I'm sure the owner will be back for it.
27
00:01:37,420 --> 00:01:39,920
Oh, they might be too embarrassed to
claim it. Check the playlist out.
28
00:01:40,220 --> 00:01:43,040
Spandau Ballet, REO Speedwagon,
Christopher Cross.
29
00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:44,680
How has this thing been lost?
30
00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:47,120
Let me see that.
31
00:01:48,260 --> 00:01:49,260
Oh, wow.
32
00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:51,260
Carpenters? Richard Marx? This is
unbelievable.
33
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I know. We did melt that iPod over some
nachos.
34
00:01:55,860 --> 00:01:58,120
Make fun all you want. I think these
songs are amazing.
35
00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:01,140
I'm not going to apologize. I think it's
hip to be square.
36
00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:03,280
Oh, my God, hip to be square. It's on
here.
37
00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:05,520
Anybody find an iPod?
38
00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:08,979
Well, of course, it's Stuart's. Now a
nice check.
39
00:02:09,199 --> 00:02:12,820
They were raised in the same
environment, which I can only assume was
40
00:02:12,820 --> 00:02:13,820
elevator.
41
00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:19,020
What? No, it's not mine. Someone just
called and said she left it here. She?
42
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:21,480
Oh, this could be romantic.
43
00:02:21,780 --> 00:02:23,540
You could have a musical soulmate.
44
00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:25,140
Well, I don't know about soulmate.
45
00:02:25,420 --> 00:02:26,680
She sounded really hot.
46
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My soulmate's hot?
47
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I don't know.
48
00:02:33,060 --> 00:02:36,460
They say things like, um, oh, and ooh.
49
00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:41,180
And would you like thin crust or deep
dish?
50
00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:44,980
You think the pizza girl is hot?
51
00:02:45,420 --> 00:02:46,460
She has a name.
52
00:02:47,140 --> 00:02:49,120
She won't tell it to me, but she has
one.
53
00:02:53,900 --> 00:02:58,060
Can I help you find anything?
54
00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:00,120
No, I'm good.
55
00:03:02,540 --> 00:03:03,539
Do you believe that guy?
56
00:03:03,540 --> 00:03:04,540
What guy?
57
00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:05,640
That guy right there.
58
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:07,280
What's wrong with him? He's kind of
cute.
59
00:03:08,140 --> 00:03:10,160
But he's not cute. There's nothing cute
about him.
60
00:03:11,140 --> 00:03:12,520
Oh, you know, maybe the hair's kind of
fun.
61
00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:16,180
But he comes in here every day, and he
acts like he's going to buy something,
62
00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:16,959
and he never does.
63
00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:18,460
It's all just a ploy. For what?
64
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,200
To use the bathroom.
65
00:03:21,700 --> 00:03:23,400
Here he goes. He's about to make his
move.
66
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:25,560
Wait for it. Wait for it.
67
00:03:27,020 --> 00:03:28,520
And there he goes.
68
00:03:32,750 --> 00:03:34,130
here every day just to use the bathroom?
69
00:03:34,330 --> 00:03:38,170
Yeah. So he walks in here and robs us
of, let's see, nothing?
70
00:03:39,390 --> 00:03:42,690
Not nothing. Water, electricity, soap,
paper product.
71
00:03:42,930 --> 00:03:45,910
Well, you seem very cost -conscious for
someone who spent $600 on a Yoda
72
00:03:45,910 --> 00:03:46,910
costume.
73
00:03:47,650 --> 00:03:49,890
Am I supposed to go to the Jedi Council
on my street clothes?
74
00:03:53,530 --> 00:03:54,530
Excuse me?
75
00:03:54,570 --> 00:03:56,390
I called about an iPod I left here.
76
00:03:57,010 --> 00:03:58,890
You? Yeah, me.
77
00:04:00,050 --> 00:04:02,850
I can't believe it. I mean, you're so...
Young and pretty.
78
00:04:04,230 --> 00:04:05,250
Uh, thank you?
79
00:04:06,570 --> 00:04:08,950
No, no, I didn't mean it like that. I
just mean that you seem so cool.
80
00:04:10,410 --> 00:04:11,410
Are you seeing anybody?
81
00:04:12,590 --> 00:04:14,770
Um, I'm kind of just like my iPod.
82
00:04:15,030 --> 00:04:16,029
No, no, no, no.
83
00:04:16,290 --> 00:04:18,250
No, I didn't mean it like that. I mean,
I'm not gay.
84
00:04:19,350 --> 00:04:20,350
Though I have dabbled.
85
00:04:20,709 --> 00:04:21,850
But, uh,
86
00:04:24,530 --> 00:04:25,810
there's always been a guy watching.
87
00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:46,520
you're still interested in women.
88
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:51,600
And Stuart was right. She's totally hot.
89
00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:52,880
Really? Yeah.
90
00:04:52,980 --> 00:04:55,380
Yeah, well, don't tell her I said so
because I think I freaked her out a
91
00:04:59,620 --> 00:05:00,599
Hi there.
92
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:01,920
I believe this is yours?
93
00:05:02,220 --> 00:05:05,760
Oh, thank you. I was so worried I'd lost
it. Well, I can imagine. There's some
94
00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:06,760
great songs on there.
95
00:05:07,020 --> 00:05:07,919
I'm Gavin.
96
00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:09,180
Carrie. Nice to meet you.
97
00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:11,020
Is that iPod girl? I know.
98
00:05:11,260 --> 00:05:14,740
Isn't it crazy? I mean, look at her.
Great hair, beautiful smile.
99
00:05:15,210 --> 00:05:16,210
Gatsby, little body.
100
00:05:16,370 --> 00:05:17,370
I'm really confused.
101
00:05:18,090 --> 00:05:20,210
Really? Sounds to me like you've made up
your mind.
102
00:05:22,330 --> 00:05:23,890
So, uh, reading anything good now?
103
00:05:24,630 --> 00:05:27,710
Actually, The Great Gatsby. Oh, my God,
that's one of my all -time favorites.
104
00:05:27,850 --> 00:05:31,110
Yeah, I'm just halfway through. Well,
have you got a treat in store? I won't
105
00:05:31,110 --> 00:05:32,130
anything more, and I don't want to spoil
it.
106
00:05:32,370 --> 00:05:35,050
Well, maybe when I'm finished, I can
come back and we can discuss it.
107
00:05:36,690 --> 00:05:37,910
Oh, uh, sure.
108
00:05:39,410 --> 00:05:42,170
Hey, have you ever been to that Japanese
restaurant across the street?
109
00:05:42,410 --> 00:05:43,410
Yeah, it's terrific.
110
00:05:43,660 --> 00:05:44,660
I just love sushi.
111
00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:45,760
Me too.
112
00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:47,060
You should try it.
113
00:05:50,940 --> 00:05:51,940
Oh.
114
00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:53,560
Well, maybe I will.
115
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:55,640
Anyway, thanks.
116
00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:56,879
You're welcome.
117
00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:57,880
So, bye.
118
00:05:58,220 --> 00:05:59,220
Bye, Carrie.
119
00:05:59,940 --> 00:06:00,940
Excuse me.
120
00:06:01,140 --> 00:06:02,140
Where's the restroom?
121
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,440
It's right back there.
122
00:06:03,660 --> 00:06:04,660
Thanks.
123
00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:09,920
Oh, I see. So if a hot girl comes in and
wants to use the bathroom, that's okay.
124
00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:11,540
Hey, I don't make the rules.
125
00:06:16,130 --> 00:06:17,910
Okay. New rule. Shut up.
126
00:06:22,930 --> 00:06:23,930
So?
127
00:06:24,170 --> 00:06:26,370
Oh, yeah, uh, forget it. Oh, my God!
128
00:06:27,190 --> 00:06:29,410
How'd you blow up with the only other
person on the planet who likes Bobby
129
00:06:29,410 --> 00:06:30,410
McFerrin?
130
00:06:31,170 --> 00:06:34,390
For your information, I did not blow it.
In fact, she was definitely into me.
131
00:06:34,810 --> 00:06:37,170
Then why didn't you ask her out? You saw
her. She's too young.
132
00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:39,450
What do you mean? She's, like, 23.
133
00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:40,790
Yeah, and I'm 35.
134
00:06:41,770 --> 00:06:45,660
So? So, I'm just not interested in
dating some girl in her early 20s.
135
00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:49,760
Do you realize what you just said has
never been spoken by a man in the entire
136
00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:50,760
history of the world?
137
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:58,280
I'm not saying I'm not interested,
interested. It's just my range of
138
00:06:58,280 --> 00:06:59,780
mates is 28 to 38.
139
00:07:00,540 --> 00:07:03,040
Excluding girls turning 30. That's just
12 months of crazy.
140
00:07:04,740 --> 00:07:08,300
Well, based on her musical taste, she's
in her mid -50s. So, average it out and
141
00:07:08,300 --> 00:07:09,300
she's right in your mate zone.
142
00:07:09,940 --> 00:07:11,880
She did seem kind of mature for her age.
143
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:13,820
You should go for it.
144
00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:15,160
Don't worry. Be happy.
145
00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:19,300
Oh, no, go ask her out. I swear I'll do
it myself.
146
00:07:20,180 --> 00:07:21,180
For you, I mean.
147
00:07:22,780 --> 00:07:23,780
Carrie?
148
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:28,140
Yeah, I was wondering if you want to
maybe go to dinner at that Japanese
149
00:07:28,140 --> 00:07:29,140
restaurant tonight?
150
00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:30,640
You mean like on a date?
151
00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:32,500
Yes, a date.
152
00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:34,080
Oh, great. I'd love to.
153
00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:36,980
You know, I was beginning to think
everyone in this bookstore was gay.
154
00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:55,620
Porcelain Bandit.
155
00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:58,680
Why does this upset you so much?
156
00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:01,460
Because he thinks he's putting one over
on us. He thinks we're just a bunch of
157
00:08:01,460 --> 00:08:03,300
patsies. You've lost your mind.
158
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:06,360
You think other stores would allow you
to come in every day and never buy
159
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:07,360
anything?
160
00:08:07,660 --> 00:08:09,480
Victoria's Secret kicks you out after 45
minutes.
161
00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:12,880
You know what? I know one of those girls
that works down there and she says
162
00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:14,440
you've got chocolate ice cream all over
the water bra.
163
00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:18,840
I defy any man to be in there and not
squeeze one.
164
00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:22,840
Don't make it sound so creepy, okay? I
was there with a friend. Who?
165
00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:24,580
Skyler. Did she know?
166
00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:26,560
That's completely irrelevant.
167
00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:29,820
Well, I'm not letting this guy get the
best of me.
168
00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,559
Come on, I want to see this. Well, I
don't want to watch someone go to the
169
00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:33,559
bathroom.
170
00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:38,679
Check it out.
171
00:08:39,179 --> 00:08:40,720
The restroom is for customers only.
172
00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:42,280
Ooh, very intimidating.
173
00:08:42,820 --> 00:08:43,820
It is.
174
00:08:43,900 --> 00:08:45,720
See how I get the flames that shoot up
out of the letters?
175
00:08:46,100 --> 00:08:48,180
It's a new font I downloaded called
Helvetica.
176
00:08:48,460 --> 00:08:49,460
Get it?
177
00:08:50,180 --> 00:08:51,620
I feel like I'm in Helvetica.
178
00:08:54,990 --> 00:08:55,990
Natural conversation.
179
00:08:56,410 --> 00:09:00,250
So it was only after he invented the
telescribe that Thomas Edison became
180
00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:01,250
as the Wizard of Menlo Park.
181
00:09:02,510 --> 00:09:06,190
Um, thanks, Stuart. I always wondered
when he became the wizard.
182
00:09:11,010 --> 00:09:12,130
I don't believe it.
183
00:09:12,590 --> 00:09:14,130
He just blew past the sign.
184
00:09:14,570 --> 00:09:15,850
Yeah, like it was made of paper.
185
00:09:20,170 --> 00:09:22,310
Hey, sorry I'm late. I overslept.
186
00:09:23,010 --> 00:09:24,890
Really? Any particular... particular
reason?
187
00:09:25,610 --> 00:09:26,770
Carrie and I were up late.
188
00:09:27,210 --> 00:09:28,210
Ooh.
189
00:09:28,290 --> 00:09:29,169
No ooh.
190
00:09:29,170 --> 00:09:30,370
We just talked. It was our first date.
191
00:09:30,630 --> 00:09:31,710
So it's gonna be a second date?
192
00:09:32,150 --> 00:09:34,550
Yep. Tonight. She's cooking dinner for
me at her place.
193
00:09:34,970 --> 00:09:35,970
Ooh.
194
00:09:36,430 --> 00:09:37,830
Okay, yeah. Tonight there may be some
ooh.
195
00:09:39,430 --> 00:09:42,510
Anyway, thanks for pushing me to go out
with her. You know, Carrie is amazing
196
00:09:42,510 --> 00:09:45,810
and I know it's only been one date, but
I really feel like this could go
197
00:09:45,810 --> 00:09:49,390
somewhere. Oh, see? This proves you
should take my suggestions more
198
00:09:49,730 --> 00:09:51,130
Like... I'm not getting a colonic.
199
00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:54,520
More than anybody.
200
00:09:59,460 --> 00:10:01,460
Just do me a favor, okay?
201
00:10:01,700 --> 00:10:04,340
When he comes out of there, tell him he
can't keep freeloading.
202
00:10:04,580 --> 00:10:07,300
Me? You're the one with the problem. Why
don't you just do it? Because I hate
203
00:10:07,300 --> 00:10:08,300
confrontation.
204
00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:10,340
I'm sorry.
205
00:10:11,180 --> 00:10:15,140
I saw you browsing before, and I was
wondering if there maybe was anything
206
00:10:15,140 --> 00:10:16,140
like to purchase.
207
00:10:16,780 --> 00:10:20,820
Actually, I would, but I didn't realize
how late it was. I really need to get
208
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:21,820
back to work.
209
00:10:24,180 --> 00:10:25,180
Come see us again.
210
00:10:25,780 --> 00:10:26,780
I will.
211
00:10:29,220 --> 00:10:30,220
What the hell are you thinking?
212
00:10:30,900 --> 00:10:31,900
Come see us again?
213
00:10:32,460 --> 00:10:34,000
Why don't you just go in there and shake
it for him?
214
00:10:56,110 --> 00:10:57,110
So was that dinner.
215
00:11:00,530 --> 00:11:02,470
Can you believe we only met yesterday?
216
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:06,090
Yeah, it feels like I've known you so
much longer.
217
00:11:07,070 --> 00:11:08,070
I know.
218
00:11:09,390 --> 00:11:12,950
You are so beautiful to me.
219
00:12:56,469 --> 00:12:57,690
Caught some minor corruption.
220
00:13:01,090 --> 00:13:03,470
Anyway, good night. Wait a minute.
221
00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:05,670
Something here smells fishy.
222
00:13:07,450 --> 00:13:08,450
Were you cooking?
223
00:13:08,810 --> 00:13:10,390
Yeah, I just kind of felt like it.
224
00:13:11,050 --> 00:13:12,410
That's great, Care Bear.
225
00:13:12,810 --> 00:13:15,010
Do me a favor and put this away.
226
00:13:15,910 --> 00:13:17,050
Gab, why are you still here?
227
00:13:18,150 --> 00:13:20,670
I wonder if you could install this
memory I just bought.
228
00:13:20,970 --> 00:13:22,510
Oh, yeah. Well, actually...
229
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:26,000
I have another computer emergency I need
to attend to. Oh, okay. Well, then
230
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,340
what's your company's number? I'll just
call them and hand send somebody else
231
00:13:28,340 --> 00:13:30,600
over. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. You
know what? You know what?
232
00:13:30,980 --> 00:13:33,180
Memory? Yeah. Give me the memory. I
mean, come on.
233
00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:36,600
How long can it take to put it in the
thingy?
234
00:13:38,060 --> 00:13:42,000
And you better get to bed, young lady.
You've got spirit squad in the morning.
235
00:13:56,780 --> 00:13:59,720
I'll just take a look at some self -help
tiles and I'll just self -help myself
236
00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:00,720
to that toilet.
237
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,320
And you wonder why the pizza girl won't
tell you her name.
238
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:08,900
Why doesn't this bother you?
239
00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:10,660
Because I'm not cynical.
240
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:14,960
You look at him as the enemy trying to
take advantage of you. I see a nice,
241
00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:17,980
polite guy who probably just works in an
office with a lousy bathroom.
242
00:14:18,380 --> 00:14:21,780
So what if he doesn't buy a book today?
He'll buy one tomorrow and then another
243
00:14:21,780 --> 00:14:22,780
the week after that and...
244
00:14:23,410 --> 00:14:28,150
Eventually, because we treated him so
nicely, he'll end up being one of our
245
00:14:28,150 --> 00:14:30,410
customers. And maybe even someday a
friend.
246
00:14:32,150 --> 00:14:33,630
What kind of thick nonsense is that?
247
00:14:35,890 --> 00:14:38,270
Now, quick, before he makes his move, go
in the bathroom, lock the door, and
248
00:14:38,270 --> 00:14:40,950
don't come out until I knock six times.
Seven times. No, no, no, no. Shave and a
249
00:14:40,950 --> 00:14:41,950
haircut.
250
00:14:42,290 --> 00:14:44,510
He's on the move. Go, go, go, go, go.
You know what? I can't listen to you
251
00:14:44,510 --> 00:14:47,590
anymore. You want to treat customers
like crap? Oh, we'll do it. Hey, pal.
252
00:14:48,210 --> 00:14:51,630
Yeah? Look, I don't know what twisted
game you're playing here, but we're not
253
00:14:51,630 --> 00:14:52,630
bunch of patsies.
254
00:15:08,430 --> 00:15:10,290
From whence you came? Oh, now you get
involved?
255
00:15:11,590 --> 00:15:12,590
What? What?
256
00:15:13,890 --> 00:15:17,190
I don't come here to use the bathroom. I
come here to see you.
257
00:15:19,950 --> 00:15:24,110
I always wanted to ask you out, but
every time I work up the nerve to speak
258
00:15:24,110 --> 00:15:26,710
you, I chicken out and hide in the
bathroom.
259
00:15:27,390 --> 00:15:29,490
You always seem so nice and pretty.
260
00:15:30,950 --> 00:15:32,930
Really? But you're not.
261
00:15:35,630 --> 00:15:37,330
You're not a nice person at all.
262
00:15:49,130 --> 00:15:50,130
I am so sorry.
263
00:15:52,070 --> 00:15:53,810
Shut up, you idiot. Don't tell him.
264
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:55,630
That sure nice? Got it.
265
00:15:58,270 --> 00:15:59,270
Why aren't you calling?
266
00:15:59,330 --> 00:16:00,610
I'll never catch him. Why not?
267
00:16:01,230 --> 00:16:02,590
He's speeding off in his Porsche.
268
00:16:03,310 --> 00:16:04,310
His Porsche?
269
00:16:06,010 --> 00:16:07,370
I'll be a Victoria's Secret if need be.
270
00:16:09,550 --> 00:16:11,250
Harold, have you seen Skyler?
271
00:16:11,450 --> 00:16:12,950
She had her on an errand. What's wrong?
272
00:16:13,210 --> 00:16:14,210
I'm freaking out.
273
00:16:14,270 --> 00:16:17,250
Turns out this woman I've been seeing is
not exactly who she said she was.
274
00:16:22,830 --> 00:16:25,270
The key is to check for an Adam's apple.
275
00:16:28,630 --> 00:16:32,790
Thanks, Harold. And the hands, they
can't fake the hands.
276
00:16:34,970 --> 00:16:36,210
Oh, there you are.
277
00:16:36,490 --> 00:16:37,490
She's 17.
278
00:16:37,690 --> 00:16:40,730
What are you talking about? Carrie, the
girl you made me ask out, the girl you
279
00:16:40,730 --> 00:16:41,810
said was 23, she's 17.
280
00:16:42,230 --> 00:16:45,050
What? I mean, I said she was like 23.
281
00:16:46,890 --> 00:16:50,030
17 is nothing like 23. It's much more
like jail.
282
00:16:52,460 --> 00:16:53,720
Guessing I'm in everybody's mate zone.
283
00:16:55,340 --> 00:16:56,860
I can't believe you did this to me.
284
00:16:57,200 --> 00:17:00,600
What? You two didn't... No, no, but only
because her mom and dad came home and
285
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,260
busted us. Oh, that's horrible.
286
00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:04,300
I hope they didn't call your parents.
287
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:07,380
It's not funny. This is all your fault.
288
00:17:08,300 --> 00:17:09,640
Why, don't blame me, R. Kelly.
289
00:17:11,599 --> 00:17:13,760
What, you went on two dates with her.
How could you not realize she was a
290
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:17,500
teenager? Because she pretended to be
older and she was very convincing. You
291
00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:19,160
her. She looked nothing like a high
school student.
292
00:17:26,030 --> 00:17:27,990
what she was wearing last night because
you don't have much of a case.
293
00:17:30,190 --> 00:17:31,190
That was hot yesterday.
294
00:17:31,410 --> 00:17:32,610
I was getting caught like that.
295
00:17:32,890 --> 00:17:35,470
That was not hot, all right? Are you
kidding me? That was horrible.
296
00:17:35,690 --> 00:17:37,730
Plus, nothing happened. Plus, I don't
know you. Now, go away.
297
00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:42,610
Are you breaking up with me? Yes. I
mean, no. We never went out. Look, just
298
00:17:42,610 --> 00:17:43,249
out of here.
299
00:17:43,250 --> 00:17:44,250
Why are you upset?
300
00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:47,010
Because you lied to me. You're not a
real estate agent. You're 17.
301
00:17:47,470 --> 00:17:48,229
And a half.
302
00:17:48,230 --> 00:17:49,230
Half doesn't matter.
303
00:17:50,450 --> 00:17:53,450
But I thought it would be, like, totally
hot and junk to pretend to be all
304
00:17:53,450 --> 00:17:54,450
businesswoman -y.
305
00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:56,800
Yeah, you're right. She does sound
really mature.
306
00:17:58,980 --> 00:17:59,980
Come on, Gavin.
307
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:01,580
Don't give this up.
308
00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:02,640
We're good for each other.
309
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,060
It was because of you I got an A on my
book report.
310
00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:07,160
You helped her on her homework?
311
00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:08,440
I didn't know it was homework.
312
00:18:10,780 --> 00:18:11,780
An A, huh?
313
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:14,460
Is it because of my analysis of
Fitzgerald's use of the flawed narrator?
314
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:17,900
Oh, my God, let's make out again. No,
no, listen to me.
315
00:18:18,460 --> 00:18:21,920
Harry, you're half my age, okay? Now,
I'm sorry, but I want you to leave.
316
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,240
What you did was bad. Very, very bad.
317
00:18:25,380 --> 00:18:26,840
Ooh, you want to spank me?
318
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:28,520
Yes! I mean, no!
319
00:18:28,780 --> 00:18:30,040
Stop talking like that!
320
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:32,800
Carrie!
321
00:18:33,140 --> 00:18:35,580
Todd, what are you doing here? I
followed you.
322
00:18:37,140 --> 00:18:38,320
Who's this douche?
323
00:18:40,260 --> 00:18:41,260
This is Gavin.
324
00:18:41,300 --> 00:18:42,299
We're dating.
325
00:18:42,300 --> 00:18:44,200
No, we are not dating.
326
00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:46,120
He called you a douche.
327
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:51,700
You been busy the past two nights?
328
00:18:51,900 --> 00:18:55,000
Okay, look, you really need to take this
out of here. Yeah, let's take it out.
329
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:58,200
Let's take it right out to the parking
lot. Fight, fight, fight, fight!
330
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:01,640
I'll throw up.
331
00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:02,900
Oh, um, sorry.
332
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:04,480
Chicken.
333
00:19:06,940 --> 00:19:08,520
Look, I'm not gonna fight you.
334
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:11,140
Why are you afraid I might knock out
your dentures, Grandpa?
335
00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:14,700
Dentures? I'm only 35.
336
00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:17,200
35? Oh, gross!
337
00:19:21,710 --> 00:19:24,670
Hannah told Griffin that she saw you
hooking up with Allie after the game on
338
00:19:24,670 --> 00:19:25,609
Friday night.
339
00:19:25,610 --> 00:19:28,330
Hannah's lying because she's pissed that
Maddie invited us to Brandon's house
340
00:19:28,330 --> 00:19:29,330
and we snaked the cake.
341
00:19:29,570 --> 00:19:31,270
Now it's go time, old man.
342
00:19:31,530 --> 00:19:32,530
Enough.
343
00:19:32,890 --> 00:19:36,590
Now it's me who should take over. It's
not with Gavin, but with the duplicitous
344
00:19:36,590 --> 00:19:40,950
Hannah. For no one only slandered the
good name of Allie, but also callously
345
00:19:40,950 --> 00:19:43,950
dragged Griffin into her web of lies.
346
00:19:46,210 --> 00:19:48,050
Please tell me to make out with this
dude, too.
347
00:19:52,010 --> 00:19:55,910
Go back to high school. Stop pretending
to be an adult and never come back here
348
00:19:55,910 --> 00:19:56,809
again, all right?
349
00:19:56,810 --> 00:20:00,450
And you, if you're not out of my store
in five seconds, I will kick your ass
350
00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:01,450
until it is grass.
351
00:20:02,130 --> 00:20:03,130
What does that mean?
352
00:20:04,710 --> 00:20:06,330
It was a thing when I was in high
school.
353
00:20:07,510 --> 00:20:09,450
You hear it about ten times a day.
354
00:20:11,230 --> 00:20:12,570
You know what? I'm out.
355
00:20:12,850 --> 00:20:14,190
Carries, give me back my iPod.
356
00:20:15,010 --> 00:20:17,010
Wait. It was your iPod?
357
00:20:17,470 --> 00:20:18,470
Oh, my God.
358
00:20:18,870 --> 00:20:19,870
Todd's your soulmate.
359
00:20:19,950 --> 00:20:20,970
It's my mom's.
360
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:22,520
Well, it's your mom's.
361
00:20:22,620 --> 00:20:23,620
Is she hot?
362
00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:28,080
You're really attractive. I can't
believe you can't find a girlfriend.
363
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:30,960
No.
364
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:33,540
No, it's for Gavin, not for me.
365
00:20:33,820 --> 00:20:35,320
What? Yeah, how old is she?
366
00:20:35,660 --> 00:20:36,820
I don't know. Old.
367
00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:38,120
Like him.
368
00:20:39,020 --> 00:20:40,100
Well, is she single?
369
00:20:40,660 --> 00:20:43,340
Okay, please stop this, all right?
Haven't you caused enough problems?
370
00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:46,020
Oh, come on, Gavin. Don't you want a
wang chong tonight?
371
00:20:51,530 --> 00:20:52,530
Answer the question, Todd.
372
00:21:04,170 --> 00:21:07,890
Hey, Kat. Where should I put Sweet
Valley High?
373
00:21:08,710 --> 00:21:09,710
Romance?
374
00:21:10,370 --> 00:21:12,450
I think Gavin likes to put in young
adult.
375
00:21:24,590 --> 00:21:25,590
it when things get old.
376
00:21:29,610 --> 00:21:31,750
Oh, come on, Gavin. Look at it this way.
377
00:21:32,030 --> 00:21:34,650
You dumped the head cheerleader. You
stood up for the captain of the football
378
00:21:34,650 --> 00:21:36,830
team. It's every guy's high school
fantasy.
379
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:39,670
Huh. Never thought of it like that.
380
00:21:40,230 --> 00:21:43,590
Not that I didn't have my moments in
high school. I dated a cheerleader then.
381
00:21:44,270 --> 00:21:45,350
Flag girl. Same thing.
27837
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