Original subtitles

I'm an open book with pages left to write.

I can't wait to see what's inside. This is the new story of my life.

Morning. Oh, hey, Sky. Want coffee? Sure, thanks.

I love you.

Are you drunk?

No, no. I really love you. I wanted to tell you that. Oh.

Why?

No reason. I just walked in here and I looked at you and I thought, Kat is so

great. I just love her.

So I said it.

People don't say it enough.

I love you, Kat.

That's three times. You just tied my mother.

See, that's one of the reasons I love you. You always make me laugh.

I don't know where I come up with this stuff.

Good morning, Harold.

Morning, Skyler.

Lovely dress. Emilio Pucci, right?

Yeah. How do you know that? The Apollo 15 crew carried a Pucci -designed flag

the moon.

Along with a pair of Pierre Cardin space boots.

15 was definitely our most fabulous mission.

I love you.

Well, what a nice thing to say.

Oh, you really brightened up my morning.

Thank you, Skylar. You're welcome.

What the hell was that?

What?

Skylar just said she loved me.

Oh, yes, she said that to me, too. At first I thought it was weird, but now I

think it's kind of sweet.

Now, go with your first instinct.

It is weird.

People don't say I love you for no reason.

Sometimes I don't even say it when there is a reason.

Like when you win the spelling bee or you put your mom's cigarette out before

catches the bed on fire.

Hey, Skylar, have you seen the invoice for the HarperCollins shipment?

Oh, yeah, it's on top of the filing cabinet.

Thank you.

Oh, and Stuart, I love you.

What did you say?

I love you, Stuart.

Oh, my God, I love you, too.

Yeah.

You don't know how long it would be to say those words to me. I love you, too.

love you so much.

All right.

May I have a word? Not now, Harold. Big moment here.

Stuart.

When did you realize? Because I knew the first moment you walked through the

door. Stuart, come here. Right now. Okay. I'll be right back.

Darling.

What is so important, man? Skylar just told me she loved me. I know. She's

telling everyone.

That she loves me?

No.

That she loves each of us. She just said it to me.

Yeah, me too.

But it could have been the same with you two as it was with me. It wasn't.

We didn't slobber all over her and start preparing a dowry.

I didn't slobber, okay? I was just, you know, returning her nice sentiment and

kind. Oh, really? Lay it back in your mind while it's still fresh.

Oh, my God. Why didn't you stop me?

It was an accident on the freeway. Yeah, you should have seen the train wreck

that happened in here.

What do you mean?

Skyler came in this morning and greeted each of us by saying, I love you.

Stuart took it romantically and made an ass of himself.

Oh, God, how am I ever going to look her in the eye? Shouldn't be a problem.

It's not where you usually look.

So what you're saying is Skyler just came in here this morning and told

everybody she loved them.

What kind of... What kind of new -agey nonsense is that? This is a place of

business, not some hippie love -in.

Hippie love -in? Hey!

We are going to change the world.

Uh, hi, Gavin.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Oh, sure.

Right. Now I guess it's my turn.

What does she expect me to do, smile and get all warm and fuzzy?

I'm certainly not going to hug her and say I love you back.

Wow. If he was holding a tumbler of scotch in a TV dinner, he could be my

mother.

Something you wanted to say?

Okay, Gavin.

I don't know how you're going to take this, but... Yes?

I need Friday off.

What? Yeah, my girlfriend's getting married and she wants me to throw the

bachelorette party.

Is it weird to get a stripper for a stripper?

Uh, I'm not really up on stripper etiquette, but, uh...

About Friday, I'll check the schedule and let you know.

Oh, thanks.

Is that all you wanted to say?

Uh -huh.

You sure?

Okay, well, there is one more thing.

I need to buy some books. Can I get an employee discount?

Sure. It's 40 % off.

Wow. That's amazing.

I love working here.

Gallop said she loved you.

It was no big deal.

Yeah, because you had time to formulate the perfect response. I was blindsided.

So what did you say?

Nothing. Yeah, it was... Nothing?

How do you just stand there and say nothing when somebody says they love

Man, you're ice cold, baby. Ice cold.

She didn't say it, okay?

She didn't? No, which is fine with me.

She says it to everyone in the world but me.

I'm sure she's not saying it to everybody.

Thanks, Skyler. I love you, too.

Come on. He's not even a regular driver.

Yeah.

Exactly. That's why it doesn't matter. It loses its meaning when you say it to

everyone. Almost everyone.

Those are three very important words. You throw them around like that, you

completely devalue them. Now, about the inventory this weekend. That's it.

I'll just make sure Skylar hears me saying I love you to a whole bunch of

people. This way she won't think what I said was such a big deal.

Remember when we both used to work here? I miss that.

Kat, can I have a muffin, please? I'm starving.

Yeah, sure. Didn't you eat breakfast?

No, I don't have anything in my house. I haven't been able to go shopping in a

while.

Oh, God. Oh.

Oh, no, I've got blueberry all over my poochie.

Well, what do you expect with a skirt that short?

Do you know how expensive it is to get vintage silk cream these days?

It's worth so much, I could just sell it.

Skylar, those books you wanted?

Yeah. I gave you the discount, but your credit card was rejected.

Weird. Can you try it again?

I'd love to.

Okay.

Stupid credit card companies.

I'm sure it's just a mistake.

It happens all the time.

She's broken. She wants money.

What?

You were right. Those I love yous didn't come for free. She can't afford

groceries. Her credit card's being declined.

She's thinking about selling her poochie.

Please, tell me you're talking about her dress.

Oh, Dad, this is bad.

I can't say no to friends when they ask me for money, and then they don't pay me

back, and it ruins our friendship.

I care about Skylar too much to let that happen. So I'll let her starve on the

street before she gets a penny from me.

Funny, you'd be the last person on Earth I'd think someone would go to for

money. Yeah.

Wait, what do you mean by that?

You're just squeaking by.

There's nothing to be ashamed of. This country was built on the broad backs of

the working poor.

God, just look at the death grip you have on that jug you use to make the

change.

It's a tip jar.

God, I might not be rich, but it's not like I'm living on the street.

Appreciate it, sir.

You know what? Why don't you just take the books? It's a little gift from me to

you. Really?

Thanks.

You're welcome.

Plus, I, uh... Looked at the schedule, and you could definitely take Friday

Great.

Thanks.

In fact, because of the special relationship that we have, I'm just

call it a paid personal day.

Wow.

I... I... Yes?

Don't know what to say.

Here we go.

Sure, please come again.

And I love you.

I love you so, so much.

I love you, too.

I have loved you from the first time that I saw you.

That's why I come to this bookstore all the time.

I don't even live near here. I live in Downey, above a Barnes & Noble.

I come here because I love you.

and I make collages at home.

I have a happy Stuart collage and I have a sad Stuart collage.

I also morphed our faces together and this is what our baby would look like.

Looks like Rosie O'Donnell.

Oh my God, I'll be right back.

I just told you I loved you and I'm not wearing any glitter.

Okay.

This is a nightmare.

Skylar's not noticing and I'm saying I love you to everybody inside and my

going to look like Rosie O'Donnell.

I don't care about this, Stuart. If you want to pursue this idiotic game with

Skylar, do it on your own time. But at work, let's try to show a modicum of

professionalism. Skylar?

Yeah? Why don't you love me?

What? You're going around telling everyone you love them, except me.

I've been telling everyone I love them, too. I've been doing it for years.

Just FYI.

Well, tell me. Why am I so unlovable?

I'll take that one.

You're not. I was going to say it to you, but I thought you'd be

Why would you think that?

Oh, I don't know. Just a feeling.

You put out a weird vibe.

A vibe?

Come on, Gavin, you're not the most emotionally open guy in the world.

Why? Why? Because I don't go around gushing all the time or hugging people

Or sharing your feelings or having a slice of cake when it's somebody's

birthday.

Did you see how Stuart blew out those candles? There's less spray when a whale

surfaces.

Okay, well, if you want me to, I'll just say it. No, please don't, okay? It'll

just be pathetic if you do it now. Oh, Gavin, I... No!

I just wanted to know why you didn't say it before and you told me.

I'm a cold, judgmental misanthrope who refuses to eat chocolate spitcake.

Well, it made Stuart feel bad. You could have just scraped off the icing like

the rest of us.

Hey, Skye, there's a call for you at Dr. Arbor. Oh, okay, thanks.

Oh, by the way, there's a guy in my building who will pay $100 to watch you

on shoes.

What?

I'm just saying, I could set it up. He pays cash money.

Dr. Arbor?

Are you sure?

Oh, could the test results be wrong?

I see.

Decolitis.

There's no cure?

Well, I'm afraid not.

I know you spent a lot of money trying to save the tree, but once people get in

the root system, she has to come down.

Oh, no, I'm just so shocked. I mean, I thought you told me I might just have to

lose a limb.

If you want, I can have somebody come back in about three weeks and remove it.

Okay.

At least I'll have some time to say goodbye.

Oh, Harold. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I couldn't help overhearing.

I'm so sorry.

I know.

It's bad.

Stachylitis. There's nothing they can do.

Oh, Scott.

I know. I just planted this beautiful tree in my yard, and now I'll never get

see it grow.

Don't give up. Be strong.

Fight. They said it was hopeless.

How long until... Three weeks.

Oh, dear God.

I know.

Oh, it seems like such a waste after all the work I've had done.

Fine, how do you do?

What? You came on to that man right in front of me.

You laid me on for over a year and the whole time you're gay?

What are you talking about? I'm not... Okay, you're right. I'm tired of living

lie.

I'm gay. I'm gay.

I'm gay. I'm so gay. I'm 100 % homosexual gay.

Okay, well...

Now that it's out in the open, we can deal with it. There are things that we

do. There are things I can wear.

I'm not gay, okay? I just said that for you to back off a little bit, all right?

I'm sure you're really nice, but it's not going to work out between us, okay?

You need to move on.

Okay. Just calm down, because you're getting a little crazy.

You're the crazy one. We don't even know each other.

You're right.

I'm really sorry, Stuart.

The last thing I want to do is make you sad.

That collage is full.

I'll give you your space.

Thank you.

I'll be right over here.

What is going on with that woman? I don't know. All I said was I love you.

Like I say to everybody.

She just freaked out.

Isn't it weird how sometimes people take those words the wrong way?

Like when I said them to you earlier, you might have thought I was in love

you or something.

Oh, no, no, no. I didn't make that mistake at all.

Good, good, good.

Because that would really make things awkward and embarrassing, and I would

really hate for any weird misunderstanding to hurt our friendship.

Oh, Stuart, I can't believe you didn't worry about it.

You are so cute.

And you're so beautiful. You're the most beautiful one in the world. You're so

beautiful, it hurts my eyes when I look at you. Stuart!

I walk around saying I love you to everybody. People go crazy.

That's ridiculous.

Nobody's going crazy. Look, I don't care if you end up living in a box, turning

tricks for food, selling your precious food to me. I am not giving you money.

I just care about you too much.

I don't want your money. Oh, yeah, right. Then why are you suddenly saying

love us? Because she's dying.

What? Harold!

Things have been struck down my stuccolytis, a disease I can't find in

medical textbook.

But based on my knowledge of Latin, it's some sort of inflammation of the

lymphatic system.

Oh, she's got beetles in her bark.

What are you talking about?

I'm not dying.

That's the spirit.

Rage!

Rage against the dying of the light!

It's my tree. My tree has decolitis.

But you were talking to a doctor.

Well, I was talking to a tree surgeon.

Dr. Arbus is the name of their company.

Well, it's not real. Kind of like the rug doctor or... Dr.

Phil.

I'm sorry, I couldn't help overhearing, but did you just tell Stuart that you

loved him?

Yeah. Well, step off, ho. He's my man.

I'm not yours.

What's with all the head games?

Just get back to work.

Stuart, why don't you just tell her to leave?

I don't know. I'm starting to dig the attention.

We all know there's no tree. So if you need medical marijuana, I've still got

some old hippie friends.

Harold, for the last time, I'm not... Actually, I might take you up on that.

You were going to spend my money on weed?

Skyler, here, I got your laptop.

What is this for?

For the woman that loves me.

You don't know how many boxes I had to rip open to find something that cool.

Meet me in the back of my truck.

I got a bed made out of bubble wrap.

Okay, what is going on with everybody? Why are you acting insane?

Whose fault is that?

Yours. What kind of people can't handle hearing somebody say I love you? I

didn't do it because I was sick or because I wanted money.

Then why'd you do it?

I didn't have a reason. I just came in here today and I looked at all of you

I realized that's how I felt.

So I said it.

Or didn't say it.

Shouldn't you be over there dealing with girl interrupted?

But what is the big deal? Why is everybody so freaked out about this?

Because you shouldn't just toss those words around like that. You say them to

everyone, they lose their meaning.

Oh. Well, it's better than not saying it at all.

I say it when it's appropriate.

Really? When's the last time you said I love you to somebody?

When's the last time you said I love you to Stuart?

What?

Well, he's your brother. Don't you love him?

Oh, come on.

What do you mean, oh, come on?

Don't you love me?

Why won't you say it? Look at him. The raw need in his face is enough to break

your heart.

All right, fine.

Stuart?

Yes?

Stuart?

I love you.

Thanks, bro. I love you, too. Now kiss.

It was nice.

Beautiful. Now, can we all please get back to work?

I love

you.

It's about time.

Can I help you?

Yeah, I was in here earlier buying some books.

Need to return something?

No, no. It's just you said something to me as I was leaving.

Oh, yeah. About that. Sorry. I was just...

Milford Hotel.

Lake and Green.

Room 27.