Original subtitles

I'm an open book with pages left to write.

Can't wait to see what's inside through the new story of my life.

Hey, there she is. 10 a .m. on the dot.

Ready for your first day, huh?

I can't believe how early you guys open. It's like working on a farm.

Uh, Skylar, that is quite an outfit.

Oh, I'm sorry, too much?

Too little.

Just right.

I'm sorry, I was just out celebrating my new job with some friends, and you know

how one club leads to another, and then it's four in the morning, and then you

gotta make a decision. Do you go home, get a couple hours sleep, or just stay

and go for it?

You've been there, right?

When I'm up at four in the morning, I'm wondering what disease I'll die of.

That's true. Our family doctor blocked his number.

I just wanted to make sure I was going to be on time for my birthday.

Oh, yeah, no, very commendable.

Do you have anything else to put on?

Oh, well, yeah.

Oh, I have this.

And that'll cover you up more?

That's not what you asked.

All right, let's get started, shall we?

There you go.

Is Katrina here?

I could really use some coffee.

I don't know if I'm just tired or still buzzed.

It's win -win, isn't it?

Now, since you've never worked at a bookstore before, we'll start with the

basics. Fiction is, of course, organized by the different... This is the second.

Hey, Denise.

What, you're still out?

My friend is still out from last night.

Just my boss.

Nerd cute.

No, I am.

I am. I'm at the bookstore right now.

She doesn't believe me.

What? Tell her.

Hello.

Yes, she works here.

Yes, it's really a bookstore.

It is.

It is!

I know. I'll call you back.

Sorry, where were we?

Fiction is organized by the... I

won't get it.

Fiction...

It's organized.

You know what? I'll just call you and tell you.

Hi, I'm double parked up front. I need to find a certain book for my wife. Can

someone help me out real fast? Oh, I can.

But you may have to bear with me. You're my first customer on my first day.

But it could be an adventure.

I like adventure.

Excuse me. Yes, can I help you? Yeah, a friend told me you had a help wanted

sign. Oh, I'm sorry. That position's been filled.

Oh, darn it. I always liked this place. Would you mind if I looked at my resume

in case anything becomes available?

Oh, yeah, sure, sure.

Oh, my God. Wow, you have a law degree.

Guilty.

I actually practiced for a few years, but the truth is I hated it. I realized

the last job I really loved was in college when I worked at a great little

bookstore. A lot like this one.

Wow, you have a master's in comparative literature from...

Yale. Oh, yeah. It sounds so braggy to say valedictorian.

You were valedictorian?

Oh, stop.

Listen,

why don't I hang on to your resume, because there's a good chance our new

will meet someone and run off by the end of the day. Oh, great, great.

Hopefully I won't be bucked.

That's very funny.

Is this the number, the best way to contact you? Oh, yeah, sure. Call me

or call me Ishmael.

I like that.

What are you doing?

What? He's a good candidate.

This guy has worked here for five minutes. You really want to replace her?

Come on, just give the poor girl a chance, huh?

Oh, come on, Stuart. She doesn't fit in here. This place isn't called Hooters.

It's called Stacked.

It took me a little while getting ready this morning.

You wear makeup?

And heels and a thong.

If Malibu Barbie thinks she can waltz right in here and become the bookstore

hottie, well, then she has got another thing coming.

Oh, God.

Even I want a piece of that.

Does someone in here have a car double parked outside?

I do.

Well, it's about to get towed. Thanks, I'm good.

One more step up that ladder and these won't be the only buns on display.

Beauty affects people.

Scientific studies show that exceptionally beautiful people make the

people around them seem mean and aggressive by comparison.

Is that really true?

Whoa, whoa, back off. I'm just a mess.

Well, it's not the exact book, but it's close.

It's fine.

A book's a book.

Uh, sir, I'm sure I can get the right book for your wife.

My wife?

Oh, right.

Here, follow me.

Oh,

I can't stop yawning.

Must have been some crazy night, huh?

Yeah, well, me and my girlfriend's out having fun dancing.

You should come with us sometime.

Don't.

Really?

I mean, yeah, that'd be cool, yeah.

I'm good most nights.

Oh, except May 17th. I'm having some elective gum surgery that day.

I'll still have the shunt in.

We'll just work around that.

Katrina,

can I have like a triple espresso? Oh, yes, sure.

Hi,

Harold.

There are certain proprieties by which we all must abide.

No, I can't help it. You're just so cute.

I am a respected man of science.

I would hardly...

characterize myself as cute.

True, in 1938, I did win most adorable baby of Litchfield County.

But to be fair, most of the competition was wiped out by typhoid.

So, welcome to the family, Skylar.

That's how I think of this place, like a family.

That's very sweet, Katrina.

Thank you.

Oh, this is gonna be good.

What? She asked for a triple espresso, and I gave her decaf.

Decaf.

because she's really tired and she wants to wake up, now the exact opposite will

happen. I am so evil.

I once put laxatives in Albert Einstein's ice cream.

You're kidding. Why'd you do that? Because he was old and he asked me to.

Okay, the total is $32 .56, so... Oh, God.

So that's, uh, wait, $20, $40, $60... Wait a second, what did you give me

A credit card.

I've got it, Skyler. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm just so tired. I've got to

out of it. I've got to wake up.

Katrina, I need another espresso. That first one didn't wake me up at all.

It's crazy, isn't it?

No, that's not crazy.

You know what is crazy?

Our complicated tax code.

Let me read it to you.

Stuart, did you see her at the register?

Our customers are making more money than we are.

Let's, uh, let's hire Brent.

Oh, would you stop?

The last thing we need around here is some Ivy League educated nerd.

We've already got us.

I get it, Stuart. She's pretty. But do you honestly think she'll ever be

interested in guys like us? Maybe not you, Eeyore.

But she just invited me to go out partying with her.

Sometime between now and May 17th.

You told her about your gum surgery?

We tell each other everything.

Look, she brings an energy to this place that that Yale guy never could.

You know, she adds excitement. She livens things up.

Hey, Stuart, this is the best shot you'll ever have.

Stuart, who falls asleep on their first day at work? Yeah, and she's had a lot

of coffee. A lot.

Hello.

Oh, hi, Denise.

I'm sorry, she's asleep right now.

Yes, she is.

She is.

I'm hanging up now.

Yes, I am.

I have to let her go. No, no, you can't.

Look, you know our deal. I hire the book staff, you hire the coffee staff.

Fine. You fire Sky London, I'm firing Katrina.

Hey! Go ahead.

Hey!

Katrina?

I can't.

Thank you. I feel too sorry for her. Hey!

I'm sorry, Stuart, but this is the right thing to do.

Yeah, as much as I hate to see her go, I'm with Gavin.

Oh, please. You just don't want to wear a thong every day.

I'm not even sure I'm still wearing it now.

Uh, Skylar?

Skylar?

Last call.

Wait.

Wait. Oh.

Oh. I, uh, need to have a word with you in the office.

Uh -oh.

Just like in school.

I used to always get called into the principal's office because my little

skirts were too short.

Why don't you just kill me?

Uh, Skylar, this is a bit awkward, but from the first moment you walked in and

your friend called... Denise?

Oh, I get it.

I could introduce you two.

She's really cute and she's totally into guys who aren't, like, super masculine.

I'm not... I'm not, uh... Interested in Denise, thank you.

Skylar, I started Stack Books for a reason.

Well, to create an intellectual oasis where like -minded people could come to

learn, you know, to exchange ideas.

Stuart said it was because your book didn't sell.

It got absolutely no promotion.

Look, Skylar, let's face it, this isn't a good match.

You're a wonderful person, but I think you'd be better suited being wonderful

elsewhere. Are you firing me?

I am enabling you to seek other... Yes, I'm firing you.

Wow. I've never been fired before.

By a guy.

I am really sorry, Skyler.

Of course we will pay you for the full hour.

It's okay.

I just have to fill in a W -4.

How do I know that?

Bye, Stuart.

Bye, Katrina.

Bye.

Thanks a lot, Gavin.

Now it's going to be awkward when she and I go clubbing.

And over here we have a section that is just for authors who have won the

Pulitzer Prize for fiction.

That's a novel idea.

Stuart, did you hear that?

Yep. Another home run.

Hey, everyone.

Katrina, hey. I'd like you to meet our newest employee, Brent.

Hello. Hi, Brent. Nice to meet you.

You too.

Okay.

This feels right. Things are back to normal.

I have to admit, I like being the only girl working here.

You know, I mean, maybe I'm crazy, but when Skylar was here, I just felt, you

know, a little invisible. Like, I didn't really even... Matt?

Okay.

Great talk.

Morning, everyone.

Sorry I'm late. I brought flowers.

I thought you fired her.

I did fire her.

Hang on a sec.

Um, Skylar?

Oh, I know, I know. You fired me.

But then I went home and I decided that you made a mistake.

I what?

Who's that?

That's Sprint.

Gavin hired him.

Oh, hi.

I'm Skyler.

Want me to train a new guy?

Let me explain how things work. You can't just unfire yourself.

Yes, I can.

No, you can't.

Why are you being so silly nitpicking when we have customers out there?

We don't have customers.

I have customers.

Well, that's nitpicking.

Look, you're just not cut out for this job, okay?

Why, you don't think I'm smart enough?

Or is it because I'm blonde and I don't fit into your preconceived notions?

No, no, no, no. It's because you don't fit in here.

All right, look.

It may sound crazy to you, but I love... this place, okay? And it's really

important to me. In fact, it's important to a lot of people who care about books

and ideas and using your mind, but you couldn't even stay awake for five

minutes. Well, I was drunk.

Forgive me.

Well, I was out celebrating this job.

Oh, come on. You can get a job anywhere. There are at least ten bars in this

neighborhood that would hire you in a second.

You think you have me pegged, but you don't.

I was out celebrating this job because I finally found a job where I could learn

something. and I could hang out with people who don't want to hang out in

You were celebrating that in a bar?

Well, you don't change overnight.

You didn't even change in the morning.

Look, all my life people have underestimated me, and I've surprised

going to go out there, and I'm going to do my job.

I'm going to be the best book -selling person that you've ever seen.

And if you fire me again, it's not going to be because I'm not smart enough.

It's going to be because I'm bored.

She won't stay fired. See?

She takes her job seriously.

No, she takes Brent's job seriously.

Which means she cares.

Look, they're both here.

Why don't we just let him work out the day, and then we'll decide who fits him

better. And then you're going to drop the whole Schuyler thing?

Deal.

That's gross. What are you, Huck Finn?

Brent?

Skyler, I'm afraid we had a mix -up, and we can only keep one of you. So we're

going to observe both of you, and at the end of the day, let one of you go.

Not you.

Oh, boy.

That's one of the reasons I left the law firm, because I really don't respond

well to competition or pressure. But hey, I'm game.

I don't understand.

I do.

Well, good luck to you both.

Well, I just want you to know I have no hard feelings towards you at all, and I

wish you the best of luck.

Oh, that's sweet. I will destroy you.

Hi. Welcome to Stark. My name is Brent. I don't care who you are.

Who is that guy? He's new.

Fine.

Why did I have to fire Blondie?

What kind of a thing is that? A person rubs your head and the next day, they're

gone. Oh, calm down.

She's here, too.

She better not rub my head.

So for a more rounded view of life in the Alaskan wilderness, you may also

to read On the Edge of Nowhere and Shadows on the Koykok.

Thank you, I will. You've been extremely helpful. Brent, and if you're pleased

with my assistance, tell my boss he's right there.

Tell him now.

Wow. She came in for one book, and I sold her three.

Oh, that's great. You bet it is.

Listen, sweetie, this isn't going to be the tortoise and the hare because that's

stupid. It's kid stuff.

This is real life, and in real life, the hare always wins.

You know, I really wish you'd just relax.

Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?

Relax! Let my guard down!

Then you can swoop in and push me out of the boys' locker room before I get my

pants on.

Excuse me, miss?

Excuse me, can you recommend a good book for a gift?

Yeah, well, I actually just started reading something that I really like.

It's right over here.

Oh.

The Impeccable C. Charles Vandekerk of Terrybury Court.

That is a good choice.

If you want to pop a self -indulgent trip to nowhere.

Really? You don't like this?

Let's just say it gave me a case of page fright.

Very clever.

I'll just browse.

You know what? I'll pull up some titles and I'll be right with you.

Okay.

Tortoise hair, tortoise hair. I'm the hair I always finish first.

I bet you do.

Come on. Of course you need weight loss for teens. It's like it was written for

you.

I like your guy's style.

It's aggressive, yet traumatizing.

Well, at the end of the day, we have to make a decision, and I still say he's

better than Skyler. Okay, here you go.

Lemony's naked and living with prostate cancer.

Wait.

Stuart's over. Obviously, it's Brent. Oh, come on.

Kat, what do you think?

Oh, wow.

Well, first, I want to thank you for including me in this decision. It makes

feel like an important part of this family. I mean, I never really... Yeah,

do you got? What do you got?

Skyler's a nice girl with a really hot body, and Brent is an obnoxious, pushy

know -it -all who totally creeps me out.

So, Brent.

If anyone cares, I have an opinion.

Of course, Professor, I'd love to hear it. The guy is brilliant.

See? Yet on the verge of implosion of postal proportions.

Meanwhile, the girl is by some undervalued. See?

Don't equate it.

Exceptional beauty with a lack of intellectual capacity.

It's a curse that plagued me ever since my baby pageant days.

Look, Stuart, I know how much you like Skyler. I like her too, okay? But I

I gotta do what's best for the store.

Um, Skyler?

I've, uh, I've come to a decision.

Oh, I know, I know.

Brent is much better for the job. He certainly knows more about books than I

Well, that's very gracious.

Like earlier today, I recommended a book to a customer, and fortunately, Bram

was there to tell her it was silly.

Oh. I don't use words like silly.

I said it was a pompous self -indulgent trip to nowhere.

I couldn't put it down fast enough.

What book are you talking about?

Ah, The Impeccable Sea Charles Vandekerk of Turdberry Court.

More like Turdberry.

I, um, I wrote that book. Hmm?

That's right.

He did.

You're G .P. Miller?

Oh, my God! It's not me, she's there!

Uh, Skyler, I'll see you tomorrow.

Brent, you're fired.