Original subtitles

Ideally, when you attend a friend's wedding, you're on the sidelines

the drama, not caught in the middle of it. I tried to help, and Jack took it

wrong way, and the next thing I know, he leaves.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, I can't believe you missed it all. Where were you, by the way?

In bed, sleeping.

You pelted on your door.

I was throwing up. Oh, I'm fine now.

Okay.

Oh, I just feel awful.

If I hadn't stuck my nose in the middle of their fight, none of this would have

happened. You don't know that.

Was the food crazy?

Wine.

Way too much wine.

Uh -oh. What has two thumbs and got laid last night?

This guy.

Who's the lucky girl? Not a girl. A woman.

Her name is Maggie, and she is awesome.

She's wise and mature and spiritual. I'm telling you, me and her, fireworks.

Seriously, you didn't see him from your window?

No. Morning, guys.

Hey, good morning.

Robert.

Bobby, I can't tell you how bad I feel about Jack leaving.

Yeah, it kind of sucks.

You know, we've fought before, but he's never left.

Well, I mean, he'll come back.

He's your brother. It's your wedding. Yeah, I don't know. I kind of thought

be back by breakfast. But, uh, Bob, I like your friend Maggie.

What's her deal?

Maggie Greenmore?

Sure, yeah. Let's go with Greenmore. She's an old family friend.

She's cool. She's on the advisory board for UNICEF.

And she just got a divorce. Everybody's been curious if she was going to start

dating again.

Well, I can tell you that she has.

Oh. Hey.

Maggie. Hey.

No, no, no. Don't do that. All right.

Get your blankets out. The show's about to start.

Morning, everyone.

Morning. What a glorious day.

Let's hope we have this weather tomorrow.

Would you like to join us?

Oh, sorry, I can't. I'm going riding.

Hey, do you still have your horses?

No, I had to give them up. Just traveling too much with the foundation.

Anyway,

I'm sure I'll see all of you later at the rehearsal.

Enjoy your breakfast.

Bye.

See ya.

Fireworks, eh?

Oh, you can't see them during the day. I hate to say it, Mike, but she's kind

of... Way out of your league. Oh, why? Because she's cultured and sophisticated

and rides horses?

Oh, my God.

She's slumming.

All right, guys, I'm going to take off. I actually need to go have a nervous

breakdown before the rehearsal.

All right, wait a second.

We've got to find you a best man.

It's fine. We'll just...

Do the ceremony without.

You can't do that. It's your big day. You need the support. I mean, look at

the best men available to you. How would I choose?

Oh, foot race. State capitals. Who can drink the most milk? Or you could have

all three.

I am curious to see this milk drinking contest.

Can I do the best man speech and potentially host karaoke if there's a

I can be the guy that hands you the rings. I could be your doff.

What's a doff?

Deputy of fun.

What is wrong with you? I can do all kinds of things.

I could carry your flask.

Guys, I'd like to announce that Mike will be my Dolph.

Okay, so if we're going to do all that, PJ, what are you going to do? Oh, I have

a feeling I'll be helping with Kenny's speech, finding the rings that you lose,

and most importantly, trying to get Mike over here to stop saying Dolph.

Good luck with that.

I wanted to let you know I have an internet connection on my phone, so you

also email me.

Anyway, we just really want to hear from you. Okay, fine.

Who's that?

Jack. I left him a bunch of messages.

I just know it would mean so much to Bobby if he came back. Just to Bobby and

me. Of course I want him to come back. I really like him.

But since I'm selfless and mature, I'm pretending it's all for Bobby. This

is really nice. Yeah.

The pool's pretty meager.

I was thinking of leading with that in the sermon, you know, an icebreaker.

I wouldn't.

I'm gonna, so pretend you haven't heard it.

Uh, Andy, we should just really get this rehearsal started.

What's this?

It's the ceremony.

This isn't funny.

Dearly beloved, yawn.

Hey, there's Maggie. Really? Where?

Oh, dude, I'd be prepared. I'm not sure you can recreate that magical

combination of alcohol and poor judgment on her part.

Oh, you'll be surprised. I can be sophisticated.

You'll see.

Hello,

Maggie. Oh, hello.

Hey! Hey,

did you hear about the Dow Jones today?

It's up!

Really? On a Saturday?

That is news.

Yeah, well, you know, I have stock in Unical, and you work for Unical. I mean,

how's that for Kismet, huh?

Actually, I work with UNICEF.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I have stock in them, too.

Oh, interesting.

Excuse me. Uh, Barbara.

How'd it go?

Oh, uh, it's complicated.

Guys? Oh, hey.

So, should we get started?

Yeah.

My baby boy's getting married!

Oh, good. Your mother's here.

And it's the first time anyone has ever said that.

All right. Who's going to be in charge of her? That doesn't fall into the

category of speech giving.

Ah, rings.

I have to dot the groom. Come on, you guys. This is Bobby's wedding. He could

use a little support.

Okay. Thank you. Now, let's all act like grown -ups, okay?

Who's going to take care of Bobby's mom?

Not it.

Damn it.

What a face.

Here it is.

Your first wedding.

Oh, and you, Elsa.

So young, so beautiful. Thank you. Did she sign the prenup?

It'll be fine, Mother.

Oh, hold on to your wallets, gentlemen. Last time I saw this woman, it cost me

$50 million.

Oh, is that you, George?

I didn't recognize you without a whore on your arm.

Well, then, get over here.

Ah, this is nice.

Good afternoon, Miss Newman.

I'm Kenny. I'm the best man. I'll be escorting you down the aisle. Hold on to

your wallet, son.

Dad, really, you gotta get some new material.

Oh, did I use that already?

And I thought I could face him sober.

Hey, I'm not sober.

Excuse me, everyone.

I'm Reverend Andy.

If we could all take our places for the rehearsal.

Thanks.

Okay, apparently we start with the best man escorting the groom's mother down

the aisle.

I lost Bobby's mom.

Wedding's ruined.

Stephanie can fill in for Pamela.

Wedding saved.

Kenny will escort Stephanie down the aisle.

We should probably talk about last night.

As far as I'm concerned, nothing happened.

I'm good with that.

We'll never speak of it again.

Roger that. I still have your bra.

Yeah, I'm gonna need that back.

Okay, then Bobby will stand right there.

And then Elsa, escorted by her father, will stand right here.

And then the best man... Where's Jack?

Uh, he took off.

What happened?

Bobby, is anyone from your family going to be at this thing?

Andy, maybe not the best time. All right, fine.

So then I will read the opening prayer, followed by the sermon, followed by the

exchange of vows.

A lot.

Turn the page.

Oh. And apparently I'm also blessing the rings, the pronouncement of the union.

This is a lot.

You know...

If you wanted to, we could toss this whole ceremony and I could just marry

guys right now, right here.

Oh, no, that's okay.

Are you sure? I have the power. All I have to do is say I now pronounce you...

Oh, whoa, whoa. Hey, let's not ruin it. We can save it for the big day and

stuff.

You know what? Why don't we just take like a quick little break?

Okay, take five, my flock.

I'll be over here for confession.

Hey, buddy.

Everything good?

Yes, great.

Perfect. I mean, you know, I'm getting married tomorrow, so who wouldn't be

psyched about that?

You seem a little tense.

Do I? Well, you were doing your, mm, thing.

I am a little bit on edge. I'm just, you know, I think I'm looking forward to

all of this being over with and getting back to the way things were.

Yeah, the way things were, plus a wife.

right wow this is all totally normal okay i mean this

is all just wedding jitters i mean after this whole weekend you are going to be

married to elsa and i mean that's what you want right yeah yeah yeah that

and um wow nice how did you know that i had a

feeling and frankly your doll was about to finish it

It's a beautiful night, a beautiful room. What a perfect opportunity to just

forget this Jack thing and embrace the evening.

How's this sound for my speech?

Even though I'm the best man, Bobby is the better man.

I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over your jacket.

Well, obviously this place is beautiful, but my place in Breckenridge is made

from one piece of carved wood.

One piece?

Can you imagine that?

Seems unlikely.

Well, it was a...

Huge tree.

Wow!

Look at you. You look, uh... There's no other word for you. You look beautiful.

Sorry. It's okay.

Too bad the guy that you like's not here to see it, though, huh?

Oh, I know. I just sent up one quick little text to Jack.

Hey, how many texts are too many? I think anything more than two.

Oh. Yeah, don't sweat it. I sent John 35 texts.

It was a rough day.

A rough day.

Hey, guys.

Hey! Hey, Robert.

Hello, best man. You guys look great.

And PJ, wow.

Thank you. Though some credit goes to the dim lighting and the fact that we're

surrounded by thousands of gallons of wine. Speaking of which, tequila? I'm

good, thanks.

Well, since it's out.

Oh, Bobby, your bride -to -be is a slight to hold.

You are a lucky man, Bobby.

Yeah, I am.

Should we be concerned that you're talking to your parents?

Yeah, we should.

Go to it, best men.

Still working on my best man speech.

I'm the dog.

Rings. You even have rings in there?

Wildcats. Hey, you want to maybe help me out with this?

Absolutely.

Hey, I'll just catch up with you, okay?

Hello? Jack?

How are you doing?

Really? Where?

I'm so glad you came back.

Starting to run out of minutes.

You look amazing.

Oh, thank you.

Do you want to come on in?

I don't know.

I walked out on my brother on his wedding weekend. It's a pretty

thing to do.

Oh, Jack, what are you going to do, stay out here? Come on.

Figured maybe you could snag me some binoculars. I could watch the ceremony

the hill tomorrow.

No, I'm going to come in. I just wanted to check in with you first.

I apologize for all the drama.

Look, you don't need to apologize. I'm the one who should be apologizing. No,

no. A lot of those things that you said, I needed to hear.

And I did.

Come on, then. I know Bobby's going to be so happy to have his best man back.

Hey, guys.

Hey, look who's back.

Hey. You're back, right? Yeah.

And PJ told me you guys filled in as best men, so thanks for that. Oh.

So we're not doing that anymore.

No. I got it.

Actually, it's just as well. This thing's empty.

Would you guys excuse me? I've got to go and let my little brother beat me up

again.

Hey, speaking of brother, where's Eddie? Oh, he said he's not going to be able

to make dinner.

He's taking the ceremony so seriously.

Yard. Return.

Finska. Flutanda.

Ha, ha, ha.

Hold for laughs.

Hey,

John's here.

Oh, man, I can't believe you made it after all. I hope our party is still on.

Brendan. Hey. Good to see you, man. Yeah, same, man. Hey, dude.

I heard you were going to make it. Yeah, I got held up in Chicago, but I'm

really glad that you're here. You're still interested in the bar, right? You

kidding? Yeah.

I got all your tech and your emails about the floor plan.

And I made you a mixed CD.

Let's start with a drink and go from there.

I'm just confused.

I thought we had a great time last night. We did.

I did.

I don't know who this person is today. I mean, can't you just be yourself?

You see, now that's a trap.

How? Okay, be yourself.

Oh, okay, this is me. Oh, you know what? I don't like that guy. And then where

are we?

See, you're funny.

So am I going to see you later?

Listen, Mike, we're in the same position. We both came to this wedding

little fun. You didn't really think this was going to go someplace, did you?

Excuse me.

Goody, this is about to get interesting. First of all, I owe apologies to

everybody here, but I figured I would do that individually over the next three

years.

When Bobby and I were kids, we would sit in the bleachers at Wrigley trying to

catch home runs.

Depending on the wind and who was at bat, I'd switch seats about a dozen

during the game.

But not Bobby. Bobby would pick a seat.

He'd sit and wait.

And during all those years, I never caught one ball.

Bobby caught four.

That pretty much sums up my little brother. He's always had the patience

faith to wait for good things to find him.

That's true with his friends and his career, and now Elsa.

Anyway, here's to Bobby for catching Elsa.

Home run number five.

Cheers.

So

you

really never caught a ball?

Nope. Not once.

No, I did.

One time.

I was heckling Dave Winfield, and he whipped one at me. Did you get him to

it? No, I don't think he was in the mood.

Oh, gosh, I really like you.

Our timing sucks, doesn't it?

Yeah.

I really like you, too.

I just don't really want to make things more complicated.

You know.

This is about Bobby.

And you and I both need to just be here for him.

But someday, I would like to take you to a wedding where neither one of us knows

anybody and we can make it totally about us.

It is a deal. Okay.

We might even dance. Yes. All right.

Dude, you totally screamed.

I did not scream.

Bobby, you're getting married in, like, 12 hours.

Yeah.

Um, all right, well, then, one more.

Yeah, one more.

Oh, wait a second, wait a second. We didn't hear Kenny's speech.

Oh, well, I happen to have it right here, if you wanted to hear it. Well,

Let me get this. Here we go. Oh, no.

All right, I'll give you the short version.

Bobby, one day you'll look back and you'll realize you were married long

Elsa. You'll realize you had one big, loud wife, and it was us, all your

friends. And yes, we'd argue, and yes, we'd make up, and of course we wondered

why you spent so much time on the Internet.

Creepy. But we loved you, and we still love you.

Even though you left us for a much hotter woman.

We're going to miss you, Bobby.

Yeah, so how do you feel about tomorrow?

Okay.

I mean, good, good. You know, it's just, it's kind of weird because like three

months ago, I didn't even know Elsa. I mean, I was touring Italy with you.

It all just, you know, it happened so fast.

My parents only knew each other 10 days before they got married. They've been

married 32 years.

Well, listen, it doesn't matter how long you know someone.

As long as they make you feel safe and comfortable and loved.

As long as it's somebody that you can totally be yourself with. Yeah, and I

think you know in your heart when it's the right person.

You know, it's that person who is always there for you.

And who sees things in you that you might not even see in yourself.

But what the hell do I know? I'm not the one getting married.

No, no, I think that was pretty close.

Bobby, man, you're doing it right.

You found her. You're locking it down.

I'm taking it from me. In my experience, you don't act on it.

One day you wake up, the woman you love is marrying somebody else.

Dude, let it go, all right? Enough about Wendy.

I'm not talking about Wendy. I'm talking about Elsa, man. I got a little thing

for her.

I gotta go to sleep.

I got lots of sobering up to do before all the drinking tomorrow.

I guess so, huh?

All right.

Last one!

To the boy!

And the bottle!

Hey. Hey, buddy.

Sorry, am I waking you up? No.

Good. I was just working on the sermon.

So, what's on your mind, son?

I don't know.

Maybe... Maybe it's just cold feet, but I, uh... I'm really having second

thoughts.

About?

The wedding.

So, really?

I thought you were having second thoughts about me as a minister.

Now I kind of am.

Come on, Poppy.

You do realize these feelings are completely normal.

Yeah?

Like you went through this?

No, Meredith did.

The night before our wedding, she freaked out.

And what happened?

We talked about it. We realized she was stressed about the wedding.

But thinking about being married, she was excited.

We were both excited.

We were best friends.

We were looking forward to starting a family and growing old together.

Well, not the growing old part.

No, that's depressing.

Nobody wants to die, Bobby.

Why are we talking about death?

Talk to her.

You're about to spend the rest of your life with this woman.

You should be able to be honest with her about how you feel.

Yeah, you're absolutely right.

Good talking to you, son.

We're done.

Okay.

There's something about weddings that really affects people.

Friendships are formed.

Family ties are strengthened.

Hey, honey, I was just talking about you.

Old flames are reignited.

Strangers turn into lovers.

And lovers turn into friends.

But sometimes things fall apart.

Hey.

What's going on?

I think I'm marrying the wrong woman.

Do you remember where I put my... Hey.