Original subtitles

Friday night. All over the city, people are out on dates.

But why would I want to do that when I can do this? Yes!

You're trapped, Mouse!

No, no, this feels good.

We're almost 30 and we're playing a game that says recommended age 3 to 5.

Yep, life is going according to plan.

Hello, friends.

As you know, the Franklin home employs the small but necessary staff. We have a

gardener, a dog walker, a maid, and now a nanny.

A super hot Swedish nanny. Wait.

Exactly how hot?

She is unbelievably gorgeous.

Like, the world smells sweeter. The sky is bluer. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

We all know that Andy's gauge of hot has always been way off.

What are you talking about?

Katie Couric.

Come on, you guys don't see it?

Oh. My.

God.

Elsa! Over here.

Hey, Andy.

I have your kids.

Thank you so much.

Elsa, this is my sister PJ.

Hi, Elsa. It's nice to meet you. You too.

And this is everyone else.

Hello, everyone else.

Where are you from in Sweden?

Stockholm. Oh, gosh, I really want to go there. I hear it's beautiful.

Isn't it? Yeah, especially in the summertime.

Summer? I didn't even think about summer.

Well, um, I should get going.

Bye, Andy. It was really nice to meet you, everyone.

See you back at the house.

My house, where you live.

With me.

Oh, my God, Andy.

I would kill you if she asked me to. You'd be justified.

Sweden just let her go. Sweden is dumb.

Is she good with Savannah?

Who cares?

My God, you guys, she's pretty, but come on, get a hold of yourselves.

That reminds me, do you guys remember when she was here?

Yes.

And while

some

of us are in a rut, one of us is in a groove.

So as of this morning, three different publishers are interested in the book.

Stephanie, that's fantastic.

It's amazing what you can get done when you swear off TV, men, and Internet

shopping. Well, I'm thrilled for you, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I am

totally jealous.

And did I tell you that one of the publishers is considering signing me to

three -book deal? Oh, my God, congratulations.

Let me tell you, it can all be yours if you gave up men.

Oh, yeah, believe me, I'm close.

Italy didn't work out, and here I am, back in the same old cycle.

Same old people.

Yeah, you need to expand your horizon.

Hey, you should have a single dinner party.

You know, you invite your single friends over, they each bring a single friend,

romance ensues.

Not a bad idea.

Oh, my God, last night, I had this dream. I was, like, 70, still single,

hanging out with the guys.

Oh, sweetie, I've had that dream about you, too.

A dinner party? Come on, you can't be serious.

Why not? It could be fun.

So basically what you're suggesting is that we all come over to your place and

sit around your table and not play poker.

No, because we would all bring a single friend.

See, now what you just described is all of us plus five dudes you've never seen

not playing poker.

That doesn't sound good.

Too many dudes. Who needs?

Please. Come on, you guys. We've got to try something different, something new.

Oh, my friend Beth.

She's playing guitar tomorrow night. How about that? Anybody want to come? Dude,

you've got to find yourself a boyfriend to drag to these lame events.

That's what the dinner party is for.

All right, if none of you guys are going to go to that, at least one of you guys

can come to this.

All right?

Drop Ratzel.

Ha!

You win. You get to go.

What? No, how is that winning? Tomorrow night, 8 o 'clock. Don't be drunk.

Oh, fine.

But in the future, there's an easier way to convince people to do things. Watch

this.

Awesome. I won.

What'd you win? Nothing. You can't go. I wasn't asking to go. I just want to

know what you won.

Ticket to an awesome concert tomorrow night, but you're not invited. Okay. Why

is Mike using his weird reverse psychology thing on me? My friend's

guitar at a coffee shop tomorrow. You want to come?

Sure. It could be fun.

Puppet master.

Keep it coming. Ooh, you keep it coming. Not afraid of drowning.

Keep it coming. Ooh, you keep it coming.

Underwater I can breathe.

Not bad, not bad.

Yes, you guys like them?

No, but they're cute.

Really cute. And talented. Here they come.

Talk me up. Hey, TJ, you made it!

You guys are great.

Thanks so much. This is Margo. Hi. Hi. PJ.

These are my really good friends. This is Kenny. This is Mike.

Hi. Nice looking.

You guys were great, honestly. Kind of a female Simon and Garfunkel with a tasty

urban flavoring. Oh, thanks.

PJ, I'm so bummed. I wanted to hang out and catch up, but we have a photo shoot.

Oh, wow.

When am I going to see you?

Gosh, I don't know.

PJ's having a dinner party. That's right.

A fantastic dinner party. You should invite your friends.

Yeah, Friday night.

I would love it if you guys could come.

Sounds great. Okay, I'm in. Oh, but not to be annoying, I don't eat red meat.

Neither do I. Hate it. Oh, I love it. I'm just allergic.

Yeah, me too.

I'm psyched. We'll see you Friday.

Great, great.

Have a good shoot.

Oh, so now you like my dinner party.

Hey, it's a win -win. You know, you get your precious dinner party and we get

dates. Fine, I'll set it up. But you realize you have to bring someone for

I figured I'd bring Mike. I'll bring Kenny.

No. You know what?

If you guys cannot come up with one decent man, I will torpedo you both so

your head will spin.

Torpedo me how?

The pillowcase underpants story. The video of you lineman thing. Oh, the time

you made your own self -tanner. I can bring Jake. No problem. I actually, I'm

going to call somebody tonight. I can find a guy on the corner.

Say, if I had a nanny like that, I would quit my job and I'd stay home just to

be with her.

Dude, if you quit your job, you wouldn't need a nanny.

Okay, let's not overthink this.

Hello? Hey!

Dude, what are you doing here? Why aren't you home staring at your nanny?

God, you guys, it's awful.

It's just horrible.

Oh, no, what happened? It didn't work out? No, she's still there. That's the

problem. Turns out she's not just a hot sweep.

She paints. She loves jazz.

She's teaching the family Tai Chi. What a nightmare.

It is a nightmare. Because I have an involuntary need to impress this woman.

It's awful.

I find myself pretending to be debonair and intellectual.

I eat healthy.

I mean, it's been days since I've gotten drunk and watched Point Break.

Please, being debonair is not that hard. I'm this far from being Cary Grant all

the time. You literally have a pound to dip on your chin.

Oh, that reminds me. The dinner party's back on. Bobby, Brendan, you guys in?

I think I'm busy. Me too.

You guys aren't busy.

You're just waiting to see if something better comes along.

Come on, you guys. I'm just trying to shake things up here. They don't want to

come. They don't want to come. PJ, there's no reason to badger them into

to your dumb dinner party.

Smooth, you guys.

Hey. You guys remember when Elsa was in Crowley's? Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Hello?

Hey, Andy. Hey, Andy.

What are you doing here?

Oh, you know, I just came by to visit with Savannah and Meredith. I mean, I

haven't seen them in so long, you know.

Savannah's at her friend's house, and Meredith is... What have you done with

Meredith?

Hi, honey. Look who just showed up at the back door.

Well... Hello, Robert.

Brendan.

What are you doing here?

Oh, I just brought by some chocolate and an army knife.

Mm, no.

Sweden.

Too bad you guys weren't here an hour ago. You could have done yoga with me

Elsa. Oh, shoot. Next time. Yeah, next time. Yes, well, I had to stop and get

this poetry collection by Charlotte Estrogran.

Oh, I'm not happy with that translation.

Me either.

Life is so much better since we moved back to the city.

Andy is like a new man.

I'm always improving.

So, Elsa, how long have you been in Chicago?

A few years.

I got my degree from the Art Institute, and I absolutely just fell in love with

the city. Well, if you ever want to see, like, Wrigley Field or the Chicago

Club, I would be more than happy to show you.

Or, or, or, you know, the city's got some great nightlife.

I could take you to a blues club, or there's this great fondue place

Is that it? Nope.

Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and pick up Savannah.

And I should get ready for dinner.

Oh, we're having steamed vegetables and quinoa.

Yum!

It was so nice to see you guys.

So hungry.

Ooh, I have a bag of Cheetos taped to the back of the toilet.

So, it's you, me, Kenny, Mike, and your two friends?

Oh, yes, and one mystery man.

Ooh. Okay, the mystery man is for me, not you. I know. I'm just excited that I

get to watch three blind dates. I mean, for a woman that's sworn off men in TV,

that's a pretty good night. Yeah, and this night might bring some of us out of

long romantic slump.

Hey, you look nice.

Thank you. What's she doing here? Please, watching you on a blind date? I

buy season tickets if I could.

Oh. I never got a chance to talk to you about Beth and Margo.

Is there one of them you like?

I think they're both nice. I figured I'll see what Mike does and go from

What do you mean? You're going to let Mike choose for you? No, don't worry.

get in there.

I'm like a Honda. Not too flashy, but dependable.

Mike's like an old convertible Mustang, you know? The girls think it's going to

be fun, but the truth is it's two tickets from a boot. It's missing

smells like french fries.

Used to be the cool car in the neighborhood.

Now it's the eyesore in the front yard.

That's when they come back to the Honda.

Andy, what are you doing here?

I can't go home.

Well, we're having a dinner party. There's only so much food.

You don't even know I'm here.

You're avoiding Elsa.

I can't take it anymore.

I got caught in a Charlie Rose lie.

There's so many balls in the air. All day long, I have to act professional.

And all night long, I have to suck in my gut and act mature.

I'm exhausted.

I need a break.

Fine, fine. You can stay. Great.

I'm going to go meditate.

I mean...

Pee. I can say it here, can't I?

Hey, everybody.

Hey. Hi. Hey, this is my good buddy, Chris.

Hi.

Thank you for coming, Chris. Thanks for having me. You know, it smells delicious

in here. Are you cooking eggplant?

Yes, I am.

Well, I could not be more psyched. I think I smell, what, sage and marjoram?

Impressive. You have a great nose.

And shoulders.

Want to see what's cooking? Grab a glass of wine? Sounds good. Okay, I'll follow

you.

Who's that guy?

I barely know him. I play basketball with him.

Hey, let's talk some strategy.

Sure.

Okay, here's what's going to happen. When the girls get here, I'm going to

a few minutes chatting them both up. I will then choose a winner, at which

I will signal you and you get the loser.

What do you think?

Sure. Great.

Hello?

Hello.

Hey, thank you guys for coming.

You brought wine.

Oh, wow. Thank you so much. So nice. Oh, thank you. I want you to meet some

people. This is Stephanie.

Hi. Chris.

Kenny. Hi, I'm Mike.

Hi. We met the other night. How are you?

Hey.

Hey.

After you guys did the thing with the guitars, right? How are you? Good. Hi.

You both look lovely. Are you thirsty? Want a little wine? A little bit? Kenny,

why don't you grab some wine for the girls? Sure.

Thanks. I'll have some wine, too.

And a beer.

I see you dressed for the party.

I was just going to wear a robe, so you're welcome.

So, Chris, where'd you learn how to cook?

Well, my grandmother mostly, but when I worked at the station, I picked up a

lot. Station?

I was a firefighter for about ten years.

And you don't do that anymore?

No, I took a really bad fall.

Ended up getting 40 stitches in my shoulder.

You know what? Here, here, fill this car.

Oh, ouch.

Let me feel.

Ow.

So anyway, now I'm finishing up my degree in veterinary science.

Bad day means I get bit by a cute puppy.

You are adorable.

Yeah, you mind if I use your restroom?

Oh, yeah, sure. Down the hall, first door on the left.

You're adorable.

Really? Well, he is.

My God, I just want to break him in two and suck out the middle.

All right, Steph, put it back in your pants.

If you want to go after him, that's fine. Just let me know, because I'm

trying to have a nice dinner party here, and it's kind of hard to do that if

everybody's fighting over who gets who.

Ewan, what's going on?

My girl's broken. So what do you want me to do about it? Give me yours.

I'm just saying you guys are the perfect level of attractive.

I mean, you're good -looking, but not so much where I feel uncomfortable around

you. Well, that's sweet, kind of. And wildly offensive, kind of.

No, you know, like, um, Monica Sellis.

Now, him, on the other hand, I can't even make eye contact.

Are you drunk?

Getting there.

We can't just switch girls. Why not?

Because it doesn't work that way. Plus, I'm having a really good time talking to

Beth. I thought I was talking to Beth.

You're an idiot.

Dude, just switch with me, please. Switch with me, please. Switch with me,

please, please, please. Oh, my God. You might just want to switch. He's not

going to quit.

Fine. I'll switch with you. Thank you. Now, what can you tell me about the

girl? Beth. It's from Milwaukee.

Her father's a dentist. She just got done backpacking in Nepal.

When she was 11, she had the hiccups for two months. Okay, got it.

What can you tell me about Margo? I don't know. She's crazy. You've been

to her for ten minutes. You haven't learned anything? She's a crazy zombie.

luck.

Balls, dude. Brendan is here.

Please, of course, to my Honda.

Tough, tough day at the station today, man.

A huge fight broke out over whether or not Billy Ocean was considered adult

contemporary or smooth R &B.

I'm like, who's Billy Ocean?

Did not go over well.

Hi, I'm Chris.

Oh, hey, Brendan. Good to know you.

Brendan, what you doing here?

Well, I live here, and I thought you guys were my friends.

Yeah, you just said you weren't coming.

No, no, no, no. I never said either way. Well, there just isn't enough food.

Oh, my God.

Marco is laughing. She thinks Kenny is funny. What's wrong with her? How's Mike

doing? I'm not good.

Beth looks like this.

Wow. Two girls are into Kenny.

Dude must be in the love zone.

It's a... Lesser known Billy Ocean hit.

Yeah, would you excuse me? I'm just gonna... All right, girls.

So what's the 411 on Brendan?

Uh, regarding... Was he in the choir?

Gay?

No. Damn. All the good ones are either straight or taken.

Who wants more red wine?

I'm okay.

Oh. My.

God.

Mike brought us a gay man.

Hey, when's dinner? There's too many people.

FHB. No, no FHB. Yes, FHB. Okay, what's FHB? Whenever the Franklin family has a

large event, there's never enough food. So we have to institute an FHB, a family

holdback. Meaning, make sure the guests get plenty to eat before the family

eats. That's not fair. I'm a family guest.

I don't know what that means.

PJ, you gotta help me.

Put in a good word with Beth and Maggie.

Margo? Whatever.

They think Kenny is the catch.

Someone's got to tell these blind idiots what is what.

Somebody's got to explain why they brought a non -viable man to a setup

Yeah. What are you talking about?

He doesn't know. Know what?

Chris is gay.

What? No.

I play basketball with him every weekend. Dude.

They think you're gay.

I am.

Do you have a problem with that?

No.

You're gay?

Does the rest of the team know? Mike, it's a...

Gay League.

Dude.

More wine.

So those ladies seem to think that you're pretty funny.

Yeah, I told them I'd rather dance with a panda bear than eat a Brussels sprout.

What does that even mean? I have no idea, but they just laughed and laughed

laughed. All right, you guys, dinner's ready. Could you please just step into

the living room and let me finish up? I think we might want to wait.

You can't be yourself enough for me. That is so unfair. He's clearly into me.

No, he's not.

You're just dominating the conversation.

Oh, God.

I am mortified.

So sorry, PJ.

Barely know you would make a big scene.

I should go.

Call me, okay? Seriously.

Margo?

Margo?

I'm sorry, PJ. I should really patch things up with her. I'll call you later.

Yeah, no problem.

Bye, Kenny.

Kenny is really cute.

Don't.

Way to go, Yoko.

Broke up the band.

Guess that's it for the dinner party.

This is really delicious.

People left.

FHB lifted, right?

Why are you so hard on yourself?

You lost a couple women to Kenny. Who cares?

You will not speak of it. Can we speak about how you set your female friend up

with a gay guy? You know what? I'm just a little off my game, okay? I just need

to shake it off. Hey, how's it going?

Oh, my God.

Has that ever worked?

I'm in hell.

Welcome to my world. I can't even go home.

Hey, the girl just gave me her number out of the blue.

What a range of pores, huh?

I'm happy for you. Really? No.

Oh, my God.

Who is Bobby with?

Oh, I don't believe it. I can't believe he brought her here.

Although that means she's not at my house.

Hi, guys.

Hi, everybody.

Hey, Andy.

Hello. Elsa, who will I see that day?

Tita poor clocking.

Bobby?

Close the bar. My house just became pants optional.

So, Bobby, can I get you something to drink?

No, no, no, you sit. I'll get it. No, don't be ridiculous.

How about I surprise you? Okay. Yeah? Sounds great.

Anyone else?

Very good.

So, well played, sir.

Well,

PJ made the point that we are all single, and I just thought I'd get out

and mix things up a little bit. So thank you, PJ.

My pleasure.

You know, Bobby, I didn't peg you as the hot young nanny type.

Who isn't? My entire basketball league.