Original subtitles

Thank God. There you are. Sorry, I am late. I can't believe you showed up

Actually, Stephanie, I took your advice, and I consulted my soul again, and it

turns out there was somebody that I wanted to bring to Italy.

Oh? So I called him, and I invited him, and he said yes.

Really? And he's not here.

I waited for him outside, and he didn't show up.

Wait, who?

Who did you invite?

You know what? I was fine.

I was finding that I listened to your advice and now look where I am.

Can't even get my damn bag in the damn overhead.

Nellie P. Franklin?

Yes, sorry?

A gentleman has upgraded your ticket to first class. We have a glass of

champagne waiting for you behind those curtains.

What?

You

made it.

Yeah, of course.

Hey, I hope you don't mind I changed our seats.

I have a ton of frequent flyer miles.

And let's face it, in -coach, can't do this.

Oh. Oh.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Bobby, this is unbelievable.

I know. We're going to have a blast.

Ma 'am.

Ma 'am, please. I have to.

Bobby?

Bobby. Bobby.

Hmm.

Hi, Steph.

Hi, Bobby.

Look, I'm as surprised as anyone that it's Bobby. But I figure maybe this is

risk I should be taking.

I'm going to come back to coach. No, they don't like you to do that. Oh,

I'm sure they'll be thrilled we're doing this.

So, Bobby?

Since when do you have feelings for Bobby again? I don't know. You know, a

time ago there was that spark, right? Right. And then the road trip thing.

Right. And then, you know, I've always had feelings for him, but our timing

hasn't been great. So, I guess I was thinking, ooh, lotion. If we're going to

transition this friendship into something more, you know, what am I

You know what I mean?

Isn't a romantic trip to Italy just the time to do it? Mm -hmm. And he was like,

yeah. Oh, no.

Wait, what?

Oh, no, I didn't say all that to him.

I don't think Bobby has any clue what I'm thinking. I think he thinks we're

just, you know, friends.

Well, what did you say to him?

I don't know. Something like, hey, how about coming to Italy with me?

What exactly did you say?

I think I said, hey, how about coming to Italy with me?

Then I might have said, dude.

So I think I got to play this kind of carefully. You know what I mean? I don't

want to scare him off. You know, I got to see how it develops. Let Italy do the

work for me.

You invited the guy to come to Italy, right? Mm -hmm. I mean, how could he not

suspect this was going to be romantic?

Dude, I just took two Xanax, and I gotta say... Nighty -night.

I'm saying it's weird.

Just the three of us sitting here. Sweetie, just because it's different

make it weird.

Keep an open mind.

You creep me out. You creep me out.

Did you tell Bobby to meet us here? Yeah, I texted him. I left him a message

yesterday. He never called me back. He hasn't called you back in a day?

He's got a life, right?

What kind of crazy people are you that worry if a buddy hasn't called you back

in a day?

You guys, Bobby's missing. And probably dead.

I'm just saying, he's very considerate. The time Bobby had his appendix taken

out, he still managed to call from the hospital. Girl, get a hold of yourself.

It's not unusual for a guy to go underground.

What do you mean?

You know, take a break from life.

Go off the grid.

Check out for a while. A lot of things can drive a guy underground.

A girl, depression, really good book.

Not gay.

Well, I'm concerned.

Kenny, be a man.

Stop. caring what happens to other men.

Annie, that is a great suit, by the way, man. You look like a million bucks in

that thing.

Thanks.

It's the new job. I feel like I'm finally living the lifestyle I should

become accustomed to had I sold out when I was younger.

But as it turns out, it's never too late to develop expensive takes.

And we were out of an au bon, so I brought you a McKellen.

Oh, what year?

The $20 one.

It's a good year.

Did you guys have anything else?

Nah, darling.

Just for you to put down that tray and join us.

I wish.

All right, all right.

Did you just bust out the McConaughey?

What? No, that.

You can't hit on Terry. Why not?

It's lame to hit on waitresses, man. Plus, you don't crap where you eat. What

are you talking about? Look, I know you're desperate.

I know you're sad. You feel lonely because no one loves you.

But? That's just the point I wanted to make.

Well, I gotta go. I got a meeting with the general manager down at the station.

Now? Yeah, it's getting crazy down there, because rumor has it we might be

getting a format change.

Like you might be a country station?

It's just such an odd choice for you to model yourself after.

Hey, maybe you can do a shout -out for Bobby on the radio?

Like what?

Bobby, if you hear this, we miss you?

Kenny, he's underground.

He's probably...

ballooning somewhere with Richard Branson.

Oh, he's fine, Brohan. You watch. He'll probably come walking in here any minute

now.

No, no, no.

All right, all right.

Well, the table is set for a really romantic trip.

Now, who's going to tell Bobby?

Good morning.

Oh, my God.

This place is so beautiful. I went into town and I got some fresh bread and some

fruit and your very first cappuccino.

Oh, well, I've had a cappuccino before.

No, you haven't.

No, I haven't.

And there's this great little winery right down the road, so we can go in

and get Mario to give us a taste. Yeah, okay.

Thank you so much for bringing me, PJ.

To your family's ridiculously gorgeous villa?

You're welcome.

Ah, there's so much to see. Like, I don't know what your plans are, but we

to go to Venice.

We have to. Oh, I am dying to see Rome.

Yes, yes. There's this great little cafe overlooking the Spanish Steps. And we

get a bottle of Chianti. We sit outside.

We people watch. It's fantastic.

Ah.

Wait, what about Stephanie and Lance?

Well, hmm.

You know, hmm.

I think they want to go their way. You know, we'll just go ours.

I mean, they didn't even want to stay here. You know, they probably just want

do something romantic. You know, just the two of them.

Good. Good for them.

It's good for them.

It's good for us, too.

Am I wrong?

Or could things be taking a turn?

Hello?

Seth? Hey.

It's over. What do you mean?

I've been up all night fighting with Lance and...

Well, we broke up.

He's gone, and it's over.

Oh, my God, Steph.

We had nothing in common except not spending money, and that's not enough to

sustain a relationship, is it? Well, I wouldn't think so, but then there's my

parents. And you should have seen this flea bag place I had to stay in last

night. I mean, there's charm, and then there's dirt.

This whole vacation, it's just, it's ruined, and it's only the first day.

Oh, Steph, that's terrible.

So, are you guys going to go home, or...?

Steph, you know you're more than welcome to stay here. I mean, there's tons of

room. Yeah, are you sure?

What are you talking about? I mean, it'll be a blast.

Just the three of us.

Yeah, but I don't want to ruin, you know, your trip.

Come on. That's impossible. We're all buddies here. I mean, now PJ and I won't

feel like the third and fourth wheel, right?

Yeah.

Absolutely.

This was not the turn I was looking for.

It's soft crap, man. I mean, I think they officially call it adult

Is that like Sting? Yeah, bad Sting.

God. Yeah, but I mean, what am I supposed to do, you know? I put some

applications in at some of their stations, but there's just so few DJ

Dude, that sucks.

What are you talking about? You love that music. No, I don't. You can't even

love that stuff. No, I don't. I don't like Sting. You love that Vogelberg

What song?

You know, the one about the couple that used to date, then they run into each

other, it's Christmas time.

Oh, I love that song.

Greetings, lower tax bracketeers.

Wow, Andy.

You don't even look like yourself. Hank, I don't even feel like myself.

I helped a company rape a rainforest today, so I thought I'd get myself a

something.

Wow, that must have cost a fortune.

Impressive. Thanks.

I need shorter sleeves.

You see? You just gotta be willing to put a price tag on your integrity.

Is your integrity for sale? I just don't want to play the soft hits.

Give over to it, Brendan.

It's stronger than you are. Let it hold you in its gentle embrace.

Like a very expensive cashmere throw you would never buy for yourself, but your

office gave it to you and now you can't live without it.

I sent Bobby an email to his top secret email.

Bobby Newman at thetrib .trib?

Anyway, it bounced back. No out -of -office reply, just a flat old

It's fishy.

He's underground.

He's probably on some yacht in St. Barts reading Brendan's gay book. Hey, watch

it. Look, Kenny, even if Bobby has disappeared or been kidnapped or

it's not really our job to report him. It's a job for his other friends.

What other friends?

You know, his rich friends, his childhood friends. People have known him

longer than we have. For all we know, this is a thing that he does.

What if Bobby is sitting in an oil drum in some warehouse in Hammond, and his

high school friends are thinking what we're thinking? They're waiting for us

do something. Speaking of waiting, is anyone going to wait on us? I have no

alcohol. Oh, uh, hey, Terry, can we get some drinks?

Here you go.

What's wrong with you?

Nothing. What'd you do to her? I have no idea. Really? You did nothing? No.

I mean, I slept with her and didn't call her back, but that can't be it.

I'm sure that's not it. Women love that.

This is our hang.

You jeopardized our hang.

Oh, please.

She's one cocktail waitress, okay? I will go to the bar.

But don't worry about it. The customer's always right.

Come on, Terry, I wasn't even that good.

Still banned.

First of all, she's overreacting.

Where are we supposed to go now?

PJ's out of town.

You know, I live there too.

It's not the same.

You know, I know a great new place if you're interested.

It's quiet, wood paneling, flat screen TVs.

This is way better than Crowley's, isn't it?

We got good music, comfortable seats, a handy mirror in case I want to check in

with my buddy.

Hi, buddy.

You know who would love this?

Bobby.

I never really appreciate a guy until he's gone.

He'll be back, Kenny.

That's what I keep telling myself.

Thank you.

And Bobby, thank you again for upgrading me.

Totally. You can ask PJ. I have a ton of frequent flyer miles.

And I couldn't let you sit back there with Lance. I mean, how uncomfortable

would that be?

Yeah, I can't believe he didn't change his ticket and fly home early. And pay

the change fee? Are you kidding?

Did he just, like, travel around Italy all by himself?

I have no idea what he did.

But, PJ, why don't you go ask him?

Well, I don't want to.

Oh, I'll go. Yeah, I'll go. I mean, I don't even know him. I haven't talked to

man in, like, two weeks.

All right, but don't be nice to him.

Okay.

So you were never able to transition things?

Nope, not so much.

I'm really sorry. It's my fault. No, no, it's not.

To be honest, I just, I looked for the signs. I just never really saw them, you

know? I mean, I wasn't going to ambush him like, hey, I invited you to Italy.

Now get naked.

Maybe you should have.

Yeah, and have that go badly?

And I'd have an uncomfortable plane ride home like you.

I could not be.

More comfortable.

Okay. You know, I haven't given up on it necessarily.

I just couldn't find the right moment in the most romantic place on the planet.

Well, I don't know about you, but I know for me, I need to take a break from

men. I mean, we should channel our energy into something better, you know?

something important.

Something life -changing. Like build houses for poor people?

Oh! Let's write books and get famous.

Or that.

Come on, yeah. That's something we always said that we wanted to do.

Yeah. I also said I wanted to take a romantic trip to Italy with my super

boyfriend.

Maybe we shouldn't have goals.

Oh.

Oh. Oh, oh, oh.

I've got my book idea.

Are you kidding?

Okay. So how was he doing back there? He's kind of a wreck.

He's devastated.

I feel like we've been gone forever.

Well, it's good to have you back. A lot went wrong while you were gone.

What do you mean?

I don't know any other way to tell you this, but Bobby's missing.

Bobby?

He didn't tell you?

Bobby went to Italy with us.

What? No way. See, I knew he was fine. Where is he? He had to go to Milwaukee

cover a game.

I'm sorry. How hard is it to send an email?

I can do it right from my dashboard.

Yeah, Andy, what are we riding in?

Oh, my new car.

It's gorgeous. I can't believe you bought a new car.

And a new watch.

Nice.

What else is new?

You started tying a sweater around your neck.

Oh, this?

Oh, this is new.

We got kicked out of Crowley's and we've been banned for two weeks.

What did you do, Kenny?

Nothing. It was Mike. It was a big misunderstanding.

Oh, my God, I can't believe it. I leave the country and this is what happens?

Pulse, what the hell are you listening to?

That was Loving You Feels Like Breathing by Mark O 'Neilly.

This is Dr. Brando, your licensed cardiologist.

That's a heart doctor, but I'm not really one.

This next song goes out to Terry from Mike.

Sorry, I'm a complete idiot.

Forgive me.

I love you.

What?

Hey, I love it. Yeah?

How'd you know I needed a new wallet? I just figured it was something you

wouldn't buy yourself.

No, I wouldn't even know where to find one.

Check it out.

It's crooked.

That's your issue with it?

Hey! Hey!

How's it going, guys?

What's up, buddy?

Oh. Hi, buddy.

Don't do that again, okay? I'm sorry, Kenny. I didn't mean to worry you. I

I had no idea that you cared.

Is it so wrong?

You tell somebody when you're leaving the country, mister. Well, in my

P .J. knew.

Yeah, I gotta say, I can't believe you chose Bobby. No offense.

Why? He speaks Italian.

His family has a villa. Yeah, but I mean... Come on, how could you choose

over me?

No offense, buddy. You?

Think how that Thorne dude felt. Or that Cubs dude.

I mean, those guys were willing to provide full service.

You know what I mean.

Ah,

was that one of the requirements?

Bobby? No.

Ew. Stop it.

You're flushing. No, I'm not. I'm a little nauseous. I mean, that's absurd.

Bobby and me? Come on.

Please. Ew.

Okay, I'm not a leper.

So you hurt your pride a little, buddy? A little bit.

Yeah. Appetite.

I'm just saying.

Well, good, because it's been a tough two weeks, and that is one thing that

group does not need. It changes everything.

This is sacred.

Sacred. Like Crowley's?

Oh.

Wait, what?

What happened with Crowley's? Iron Mike over here got us all banned.

He flipped with Terry. No!

What? Sweet little cute Terry?

You are a monster.

You disgust me.

You have to fix this, okay?

Crowley's been my friend longer than you have.

What do you want me to do? I'm not even allowed in the building.

God, I miss Crowley. You know, it's only when something's been taken away from

you that you truly learn to appreciate it.

It's going to be okay, buddy.

You know what? It's not always about you, Bobby.

Girl,

he got you good.

Hey! Hi!

Hi! Hi!

I did it!

What? I finished writing my book.

What? When? I couldn't sleep, so I just kept on writing, and the next thing I

knew, I was done.

What a relief.

Wait, hang on. What do you mean you finished?

Well, without the distraction of men, I am so productive.

When you get over Bobby, you'll see.

Oh, no, no. I am so over Bobby.

That window of opportunity is kind of shot again.

This is a theme with you. Yeah.

Well, when I figure out how to transition a friendship into a

write a book.

Well, this is just pathetic.

Terry. Oh, hey, PJ. How was your trip? Good, fine, great. Look, I want to

apologize for Mike. I am so sorry. He's such an ass. Not your fault.

In a way, it is.

They don't behave well when I'm gone. It's like I go out of town and he

all of his training.

But trust me, the best thing he could do is leave you alone.

I mean, you don't want to date Mike. You deserve so much better than him. I

thought you guys were good friends.

We are.

That's how you know I'm telling you the truth.

So can we come back?

Sure, of course.

Even Mike?

Yes, even Mike.

Gosh, I should have never gone home with him. I'm just such a sucker for an

accent. An accent?

Yeah, I had no idea he was from Texas.

He said he's trying to lose it, but he got me.

He said he was from... Okie dokie.

We're back in.

Except for you.

What? You're still banned for a week. Why?

McConaughey? Really?