Original subtitles

All relationships need to be managed, and everybody needs a little coaching.

just like in baseball, every manager has a different style. That's it. I got to

go. It's not even 9 o 'clock.

Sorry, folks. I got to get back before Meredith realizes I slipped out of my

ankle bracelet.

Andy's wife, Meredith, is like one of those micromanaging coaches who are just

incapable of letting the players play.

But before I go, I do have some good news.

We're getting our house sprayed for termites.

Congratulations.

Wait for it.

So Meredith is taking Savannah up to Oshkosh for a girls' weekend with her

sisters, which means I'll be able to hang out all weekend.

Congratulations. There it is. What do you say I crash here with you? Oh, my

yeah, that's going to be so much fun.

So keep your calendars clear, because Andy Palooza kicks off this Friday

and I'm the headliner.

I'll come up with a better name for it by Friday.

Okay,

who needs... We're here.

So, uh, so now that we know what everybody's doing on Friday night,

everybody doing on Sunday?

Not falling for that one.

No. For what? For, hey, what's everybody doing? That question is loaded, and you

know it. If we say we're doing nothing, then we got no excuse to back out when

you want us to do something lame.

That's right, and if we make some plan to hedge our bets, then we look like

dicks when you come up with something cool. Mm -hmm. Something cool.

Like, uh, Bears tickets?

Dude, I am so in.

Oh, my God, that's awesome.

The game is supposed to be sold out. How'd you get tickets? I didn't.

But I need you guys to help me move my stuff to Wendy's. No beer for him. No.

No. Come on, guys. Look, it's a short move down the street.

I'd love to help, but I am having coffee with this girl I've been seeing.

Jennifer. Coffee? Wow. Haven't we been through this?

Coffee is how I get to know a girl. It's never going to sleep with you. Dude,

come on, man. You've got to take this girl out on a proper date.

Night, somewhere with alcohol.

Fine, I'll call her. I'll set something up.

Fantastic. Everybody go.

Look, it's not that much stuff, all right? The more of us there are, the

it'll go.

Come on.

All right, fine.

We'll do it. But this is it, okay?

No more helping each other move anymore. Just like how we agreed not to pick

each other up from the airport. Yeah, just like how we all agreed not to lend

Mike money anymore.

Whoa, when did we agree that? I don't know, but I am in. No, you're out.

New rule.

New rule.

New rule.

Meredith took off for the whole weekend? Yep. It's going to be awesome.

He's not going to have to rush home early. He's not going to have to keep

two -beer limit.

It's going to be fun, Andy, all over again.

Oh, I can't believe I can't play with fun, Andy. This weekend of all weekends.

Wait, why? What, are you going out of town?

No, no, no. I'm going to be here, but I won't be eating or drinking.

I've started my cleanse.

cleanse i drink this lemon water cayenne pepper and maple syrup mixture three

times a day and that's it and they say after a week of this you think clearer

you have more energy and you're really really hungry come on steph you're not

gonna last the weekend what makes you think that well for one thing we're in

line to get coffee right now i know and it smells really good see

So where are you going tonight?

Fun Andy is calling it Andypalooza, so I'm sure it's going to be pretty

Well, don't get your hopes up too high. We are a little bit older.

I mean, how fun can Fun Andy be?

Fun Andy is calling it Andypalooza, so I'm sure it's going to be pretty

Fun Andy is calling it Andypalooza, so I'm sure it's going to be pretty

Fun Andy is calling it Andypalooza, so I'm sure it's going to be pretty

Fun Andy is calling it Andypalooza, so I'm sure it's going to be pretty

Fun Andy is calling it Andypalooza, so I'm sure it's going to be pretty

Fun Andy is calling it Andypalooza, so I'm sure it's going to be pretty

I don't see him.

Are you looking next to the parrot?

Where's the parrot?

Oh, all I see is Brendan.

Hey, Brendan!

Brendan, you saw Luke Perry out there, right?

Oh, yeah, yeah. He's out in front hailing a cab with Jason Priestley. I'll

right back.

Wow, that was easy.

Meredith would kill me if she knew I was eating nachos. Oh, I know. Could you

imagine? Nachos.

Oh, I don't know about that, Andy.

That melted cheese is going to bind him up for days.

Hey, check it out. Meredith is Tony Montagna from Scarface.

Say hello to my little friend.

What? No.

That was no good at all.

That's only because you need something more to drink. I'll be right back.

Oh, my God. Where have you been hiding that guy? Are you kidding? He's been

locked in Meredith land.

So did you find your boy?

He must have gotten into a cab.

Hey.

Hey, do you want some?

Oh, no, thank you. I'm fasting.

Trying to lose weight?

No, Kenny.

You know what? This may come as a surprise to you, but the path to mental

physical enlightenment is not paved in your nacho con carne.

Excuse me.

Because your ass looks good.

Wow. You really have a way with the ladies.

You know, speaking of ladies, are you going to take that girl Jennifer out on

real date or what? You'll be pleased to know that I am indeed going out on a

date. Hey!

One of the great moments in managing a player comes when you see the result

immediately. So, uh, what are the plans?

Well, I thought we'd go to dinner and then drink someplace after? Just

less dinner, more drinks. Right.

Chloroform, then duct. Whatever it takes.

Ha ha!

Um, what?

Sorry, sorry, honey, uh, there's a mariachi band on the L platform.

Well, uh, I'm off to Creighton Barrel.

Bye -bye. Love you.

Creighton Barrel, huh?

I can't believe she's calling you. It's been like six hours.

I don't know. I'm on shot time.

Does the band know any other songs?

Yep, but I tipped them 50 bucks an hour ago and told them to keep the La Bamba

coming.

Happy Cinco de En.

Vaya con Dios.

Una mas.

No, no, no. Oh, I can't, I can't. I got a doubleheader tomorrow. Well, then you

should be drinking twice as much.

Oh, he's got a point. Come on, Pete.

How often does the gorgon let me out of the cage? One more drink. I can't, Andy.

No mas.

No mas.

Come on.

So

what

do you think?

Gotta say, it is all the telltale signs of bourbon.

I mean, just look how red her eyes are. Yeah, but you can get that with scotch,

too. I mean, look at the way she lists to the left. If I didn't say shiv is

regal, I don't know what does.

Oh, oh, my, oh.

Tequila. Good call.

Nice.

Sometimes the job of being manager doesn't extend beyond yourself, and it

be as simple as knowing when to have a nice, mellow evening at home.

Baby!

So much for those plans.

You remember Tommy, Max, and Sheldon? Sorry, squid.

Just humor them.

Sorry I didn't tell you they were coming over. I just felt it was my duty to

share my freedom with some guys in the same boat as me.

Well, that is really sweet of you.

And me.

It's like I'm a shepherd leading my flock out to have a little fun before

they're brought back to slaughter.

Well, when you put it that way, go enjoy yourself.

But look, I am so beat, okay? So I'm going to take a quick nap, but what do

say you and I get a bite when I get up? You got it. All right, great. And hey,

let's just do something low -key, huh? My liver is still recovering from last

night, and we got to help Brandon move in the morning.

No, I want to go low -key.

All right, go have fun, brother.

All right.

Hey, why don't we just grab a pizza at Crowley's?

Yeah, sure, I guess that's low -key.

Oh, Yahtzee!

Oh, my God, I don't know how you keep going, man. We're supposed to come here

for a pizza, and look at you.

Pizza? I remember pizza.

You know, actually, it makes sense. He's been like one of those Afghani women

who's wrapped up under a burqa, and now the Taliban is in Oshkosh.

Oshkosh. Oshkosh.

All right, that's it. We're getting loopy and drinky. Something to eat right

now. No, I'm fine.

You guys, food is just going to slow him down. Don't kill his buzz. It's his

last night. Yeah, it's my last night.

And one of you is going to betray me.

Come on, shots are on me. What do you want? Uh, blue.

Oh, oh, oh.

Unbelievable.

Excuse me. Sometimes managers need to be more patient with a player.

Guys? This is Jennifer.

Hi.

It's so very nice to meet you. Can I conference, please?

Sure. Excuse me one second.

And sometimes they need to get into a player's face.

Dude, are you crazy?

10 ,000 bars in Chicago and you've got to bring her here?

They know me here. That's just it, man. You can't take her to one place where

you're guaranteed to run into one of your friends. You've got to have a date

place. Everyone's got a date place.

This is your date place, isn't it? They know me here.

Dude, you're killing me, Kenny. All right, well, where's your gate, please?

Yeah, like I'm going to tell you.

Fine. You know, I know what I'm doing.

Then why are you talking to me instead of her right now? Because you said

conference. And why do you listen to me? I don't know.

Dude, get out of Crowley's now.

Do I listen to that? Yes, you listen to that.

Uh, we got to go.

Okay. Bye.

I am so good at this.

I ought to teach a class for dudes. I mean, you're not that good. If you were

that good, you wouldn't be here with me.

Maybe I'm working you.

No, no, okay, that's just pathetic. Go take a lap.

Yeah, around the bar? Around the block.

Ah! Hurry up, I don't want to have to babysit Andy by myself.

Come on, put a little bounce in that step.

Shall we turn?

Hey, where you been?

I just got back from U -Haul.

Hey, since when do you have to reserve a truck?

Pretty much since forever.

So does that mean no move tomorrow?

Oh, well, you know, I figure since we're just going around the block that we

could just use everybody's car.

You've got to be kidding me. Okay, I'm trying to think if there's any way you

could make this whole ordeal more inconvenient.

Come on, guys.

Kenny.

Kenny's not here, sweetie.

We will help you, all right? But you owe us. Fine!

Leave, coward!

Yeah, I expected this from Max and Tommy, but I figured better from you.

Sheldon!

Yeah. Sounds like it's getting a little ugly over there. Oh, we hurdled past

ugly a half an hour ago when Andy got up on the bar and took us all to Torso

Town.

Hey there, Andy. You ready to go home?

Why? It's early.

It's going to be a party poop, Meredith.

Speaking of the devil, the devil appears.

Bam!

Wow. That is the first time I've ever seen you ignore Meredith's phone call.

Bingo! You know what? Hell with her. She's not the boss of me, you know?

I thought she was the boss of you.

Well, Andy Cole is the new CEO, and his name is Andy.

Oh, my God, that's pathetic. You're not even trying anymore. It's time to go

home. Come on, I want to stay. I don't want to go!

Stay!

All right, P .J., listen, if you want to go home and get some sleep, we can look

after him for you.

Yeah, seriously, he's fine. I'm going to stick around for another drink anyway.

All right, thank you, thank you. I'll see you tomorrow.

Oh, no, ma 'am.

Thank God, your breath smells so bad.

Let's go, little Cayenne Thunder.

Yeah, yeah, I'm going to roll with you guys.

Don't let him forget this.

Happy birthday!

Mr.

President!

When he starts doing Liza, send him home.

When you start doing Liza...

I'll send you home.

Good luck with him.

Unibas!

Hey, Peach.

Sorry to wake you.

What's up?

We just wanted to stop by and see if you've seen Andy at all.

No, not since I left the bar.

Okay. Good night.

Wait.

Why? Why?

Why?

Um, you know, we get sort of, we can't find him.

You lost my brother?

No. Kind of. Pretty much, yeah.

Baseball managers will be excused for losing a game from time to time. But if

you're managing a person, losing them isn't so much an option.

Well, I talked to the people over at O 'Connor's, and they said they haven't

seen him since he smashed their jukebox. And we just heard that some drunk

blonde guy got in a fight with the rib joint mascot.

We're not jumping to any conclusions. We don't know it was him.

Man, he does hate that pig, though.

Did we find him yet?

Unbelievable. Oh, Jennifer, this is PJ. PJ, this is Jennifer, and you know Bobby

and Mike. Hi.

It's nice to see you again. Kenny, conference?

I don't need another conference.

You definitely need another conference. Come here. Hey.

Dude. What are you doing here? I got a text from PJ about Andy. Jennifer and I

were still out, and I thought, you know, maybe we could help. You're still out?

Yeah, we were at an after -hours joint, taking in some smooth jazz.

Dude, after -hours smooth jazz?

If she's willing to tolerate after -hours smooth jazz, you're in.

I am in.

Then why are you sitting here talking to me?

You said conference.

And why do you listen to me? I don't know. Then get out of here.

Do I listen to that? Dude, I'm not doing this again. No.

We gotta go.

Bye.

Bye. See you later.

Okay, so where do we look now? I don't know. We checked hospitals?

We checked bars?

Hey, has anybody checked the bordellos? Why would he be at a bordello? And by

the way, who uses the word bordello? Fancy gentlemen do.

Oh, my God!

See, we could be a band, you know. Andy?

My best old friend!

Guys, these are my best new friends.

My sweet, sweet sister.

Oh, God.

Do you got any weed?

No.

On the mat!

Guys, come on.

Please, we've got to pick up the pace a little bit, all right? We're going to be

here forever.

We were out looking for Andy until three hours ago.

Inside of my head feels like it's made out of fur.

I feel like maybe crying.

I'm taking a break.

Break? Uh -uh. No, no, no, we just got started. Everybody pick up a box. Let's

get a move on. Come on.

Hot dude.

What's gotten into you?

Peak mind -body wellness, that's what.

I'm pure, people.

Now move.

Managers are most necessary when the people they're managing need a lot of

motivation. See, that is the attitude that I'm talking about, people. Let's

Brendan, get out of my way.

You're so bossy about it. It's my move. I like to feel like I'm in charge

sometimes.

She's geeky. He is at the farmer's market picking up some

salad fixings.

You know, that's actually a funny story. I borrowed his cell phone and I lost

it.

Yes, that is just like me.

I will have him call you as soon as he gets back.

Bye.

Don't make me lie to Meredith.

Meredith.

What can I help with?

Kenny, why aren't you wearing what you wore last night? Because I'm not

disgusting? Well, if you closed the deal with Jennifer, you would be wearing

what you wore last night, so obviously you didn't close the deal, did you? You

know what?

It's none of your business.

That means no.

Get off my back. Let me handle things my way. If you listen to me, she'd be

handling your things.

Dude. You know what I mean? I do, which is why I went.

Dude. Fine.

I'm done coaching you. Fine. I don't want you to coach me. Fine. You don't

a coach. Great. You're fired.

Oh, I wasn't even hired. You don't have the power of me. You're not the boss of

me. Okay. You won that.

Hey.

So how was it?

What?

Pretty good.

Nicely done.

Thank you.

In the course of doing their jobs...

Some managers become unpopular with their players.

But there's really only one way to judge a manager.

Results. Hey, do me a favor.

Don't. Tell Mike.

I don't want to give him the satisfaction.

Tell Mike what?

Hey, Andy.

Andy.

Hey, we're going to go over to Wendy's.

Get me a Frosty.

Biggie size it.

You've had, like, 19 calories this weekend, and I'm the one dragging it.

And I feel better than I've felt my entire life. Honestly, I thought you

have caved by now. Oh, come on, PJ.

You know me too well.

Yeah.

And I thought you would have caved by now.

Does Meredith get back tonight?

Oh, yes.

Thank God.

She gets home, and I don't have to babysit that big, drunken lump.

You mean Fernandy?

No, that was not Fernandy.

Yes, it was.

Don't you remember?

Fun Andy was the reason you spent your sweet 16th party in the emergency room.

No, he had an allergic reaction.

To cocaine?

You take sweet little lovable Andy and you cut him loose and you turn him into

Mr. Hyde.

Or Dr.

Jekyll. Which one is the one with the fangs?

Dracula? I don't know.

Okay, wait, no. Hang on.

Why did we call him Fun Andy?

You named him that.

I did?

You did.

Oh, I guess I was young.

And I'm sure in a way that you looked up to fun Andy.

Yeah. He is your big brother. Big brother.

Good news is Andy's so hurting from last night.

Won't be thinking about alcohol for a while. I know.

Oh, great. You're back.

Hey, where do you keep the lines? Oh, come on. Are you crazy? Stop it. Whoa,

whoa. Settle down, Peach. Before you go all Meredith on me. I didn't mean to

worry you last night. No, wait. Hang on. This isn't about last night.

And I wasn't worried about you.

I'm mad at you.

I thought we were going to have this great weekend and you turn it into

spring break. I'm sorry about that. It's just that I never get a chance to let

loose. I mean, you're the one always saying how tight Marinus keeps the reins

me.

See, she's all up in my business.

Hey, babe.

How's Wisconsin?

Yeah. Well, you haven't missed anything here. PJ and I have just been, you know,

kicking it.

Yeah. I did get a chance to look at some dishwashers. Yeah.

Stainless steel is the way to go.

Yeah.

So I'll see you tonight.

Can't wait.

Give Savannah a kiss.

Okay. Bye -bye.

Oh, my God.

I thank God for Meredith.

Come on. I can't believe I'm going to hear myself say this, but you need

Meredith. If it weren't for Meredith, you would probably be dead by now, or

worse, on my couch being a jackass every weekend. You totally need Meredith to

put restrictions on you.

All managers have to motivate their players.

Like Meredith rules with an iron fist because it brings out the best in her

player.

I wasn't a jackass. Oh, yes, you were.

Maybe just a little bit.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Oh, it's okay.

You can make it up to me next time.

Thanks.

I don't know why you made me drink so much.

I wanted to keep it low key.

God, I'm going to kill you.

Don't hit me here. It hurts me up here.

Oh, hey, I got the best hangover cure in the world.

It's cold pizza and it's in my fridge. I'm totally going to take care of you.

You lie down.

In sport, coaches and managers help players navigate the game.

In life, your friends and family fill that role.

I'm just so hungry.

Because when it comes down to it, in the heat of the moment, managing oneself is

never as easy as it sounds.