Original subtitles

When you first start dating someone, or kind of dating someone, communication is

key. But just like in baseball where every play depends on clear signals, one

missed sign...

He talks to the game. So then Chuckles here decides he's going to ride the

Oh, no. You know, I had it. You were drinking rum again.

Yeah. So what happened? So he gets up there, right? Uh -huh. And he doesn't

know, but we have the guy put it on the fastest setting. No. Yep, four seconds.

That's how long you have. It was like 20 seconds. No, no, we timed it. Then a

little girl got on and rode for 10.

She had really no business being there.

Hey,

Bobby.

I bought you this in Houston.

Oh, Biggio, huh? Yeah.

For your collection.

Oh, wow.

That's nice.

That's nice, huh?

It is.

It's really nice.

It's nice. Nice, nice, nice. Go on, you guys.

He's a new guy. He doesn't know he's not supposed to be nice around here.

He'll learn.

All right, you drunks. Let's go do our jobs, huh? Ask some players some more

crap.

Thanks again, man.

Yeah, no problem, man.

You're texting now, like the kids.

Yeah, Meredith discovered she can text me any time, and I can't use the excuse

can't talk.

What is ROTFL?

It's rolling on the floor laughing.

I highly doubt that.

Hey, Kenny, I ran into that girl Kate at the Waco Brothers show the other night.

Yeah? Dude, she is super cool. Whatever happened with that?

Uh, we had coffee a couple of times.

She's cool.

Cool? Well, listen, if you're not going to ask her out, then I am definitely

going to ask her out. Wow.

Uh, you want to just finish my beer for me, too?

Well, I mean, if you're still interested, I won't, but I figured since

a few months that... Yeah, what?

Yeah, you know, I actually, I, uh, I mean, I might ask her out.

Seriously? I'm thinking about it. You should wait longer until maybe she has a

husband and a couple kids. See how that works out.

What are you doing?

All right, I get it. Are you guys, is Bobby coming?

I don't know. He said he'd be here. Yeah, yeah.

Hey, guys.

Brand new!

Sorry I'm late.

Kenny. Do you still have that guy downtown?

That suit guy?

Ducky Gills.

Yeah.

Ducky Gills. Seriously, where do your friends get their names? Jail.

Fine, fine, yeah.

You need a suit?

Yeah, yeah, I do, actually. Nice one and cheap. I got this wedding to go to this

weekend. Wait, Nicole and Jason's? You're still going to that? Yeah, Wendy

don't want to screw up their, you know, wedding bliss or whatever, so we're not

telling everybody that we're broken up. You're going to that together?

It's going to be fine. Yeah, yeah, you should invite your other old ex

-girlfriends. That would make it better. You should film it too, Andy.

Yeah, yeah. You guys are being ridiculous, right? It's one night.

So I guess we should just deal Bobby in, huh?

If he's not here by now, he's probably not coming. Sometimes you get a signal

and you have absolutely no idea what it means, leaving you to wonder, am I

missing a page from the playbook?

So, Bobby didn't show up for poker.

Or call, which is weird.

Well, from the way you tell it, it sounds like you were kind of driving the

weird bus. No, but I didn't mean to blow him off. I didn't know what to do.

You don't understand what it's like, okay? I'm the only woman. I can't have a

personal life at work, you know? They would rip me to shreds. I've finally

gotten to a place where they've finally forgotten that I'm a woman.

You have such strange goals. I know, but I would like to keep it that way.

Okay. Well, you like him, right?

I do.

So just explain all of that to him.

I'm sure he'll understand.

Okay, I'll try to find the right time at work tonight.

Paige, you can't just call him. I can't call him. I don't even know if he's

still interested.

You know, that ball thing could have been him just being nice. You know, it

could have been just a gesture, a way to say, you know, I'm sorry that I totally

humiliated you when I freaked out and left your apartment the other night.

I don't think that there's a gesture for that.

Thank you.

So you think I was too aggressive?

No.

Well, yes, but I'm sure once you explain everything, it'll unhurt his feelings.

Unhurt? Unhurt, really?

I'm not right. Ever since I broke up with Adam, I'm not sleeping.

I'm sorry. What, did you just toss and turn?

No. I have been on Match .com a lot.

Doing what?

Online dating. It's fantastic.

There's so much out there for sale. Imagine eBay times 100.

And I have my eye on this pair of doctors that I think will look really

me.

Because so much of baseball relies on signs and signals, sometimes it's best

get together and make sure everybody is on the same page.

Hey.

Hey. We missed you at poker the other night. Yeah, sorry. I, uh, I just, you

know, I got caught up with some stuff, so. I just want to say I'm sorry about

the other day. I just, I...

I really appreciate that, Paul.

Wow. Good.

I'm glad.

Great. And, like, I know with what happened between us, well, I just, I

want things to be awkward. You know what I mean? I mean, I know we have to work

together, and I just think we should keep things, you know, kind of just,

you know, professional.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Yeah, I think I do.

There they are. Hey, guys. What's up? Did you think if you guys watched the

game, I was down at Al's Beef grabbing a combo? In your dreams. That guy's

constantly thinking about food. Yeah.

So, you guys want to grab a bite to eat over at the Billy Goat? You can, uh, I

don't know, bring your girlfriend?

That's a good one, Charlie.

Girlfriend. Uh, yeah, sure, cool. Yeah, oh, you know what, I actually, I can, I

gotta finish up here, but, um, you know what I like about Billy Goat is that,

you know, well, you know how it's below street level? Yeah. That means it's

underground. You can have a lot of fun there, but it's kind of a secret, you

know? If you didn't know it was there, you'd never really find out about it,

know? Really?

Yeah. But that place is a landmark. Yeah. Gus.

Bottom line.

Great burgers. Yeah. Yeah. Their burgers are great, but...

You know, if you talk about them, everybody will know about them,

people from work, you know, and that's not good.

Yeah. Everyone already knows about their hamburgers. Well, well. What they don't

know about the grilled cheese. You said it. Let's go. I'm happy.

All right. I guess I will see you around then.

Yeah. I mean, you're clear on the burgers, right?

Yes. Yes.

I will totally try them.

Thank you.

Sometimes you need to change signals on the fly, but if you're clever enough...

You can get your point across just fine.

In the middle of a ball game, sometimes players ignore their coach's signals and

make major decisions on their own. And quite often, those players wind up

looking ridiculous.

Here's the address for Ducky.

Where is this?

South side. When you get there, just park right in front and knock three

Just three times.

Oh, what if I knock four times, Kenny? I don't know, but don't.

All right, you know what?

I'm just going to go to the soup barn, which is literally in a barn. It's going

to be fine.

Yeah?

All right, well, if I'm not back by 10, call the cops.

I wouldn't do that.

Hey, Kenny, that girl Kate's over by the shuffleboard table.

Yeah?

Yeah, so go over and ask her out.

I'm in a minute. I'm working on it. No, you're not, man. You're playing Jenga

for the 100 millionth time.

Oh, Jenga, you lose.

Now, come on, man. Go do this.

I'm going.

Not all signals are nonverbal. In baseball, outfielders call out who's

field a fly ball with the words, I've got it.

So no one runs into each other and gets hurt.

He's killing me.

Give him a break.

No, I won't. The guy has coffee with every girl in Chicago so that nobody

can go out with him. But then he doesn't even go out with them.

Right, but if he asks them out for coffee, it's innocent, right? He can't

rejected because he's not officially asking them out.

That was my move in, like, seventh grade.

Yeah, okay, but here's where you come in. If you ask them out, right, and they

say yes, then indirectly they're rejecting him, huh?

But he's not going out with them.

No, I mean, you're right. That girl deserves more than a coffee. Definitely

drink, you know, maybe even like a whole dinner.

Absolutely a dinner.

But a girl like that, I might even pack a picnic.

No, you wouldn't.

Picnic? No, I wouldn't even know where to... Oh,

hey, there's Bobby.

Oh, Bobby's here.

What is he doing?

I mean, why didn't he come over here?

He didn't see us. And from the looks of it, he's on a date.

Man, she is smoking hot.

Bet she's a dancer. She looks like a dancer, doesn't she? What? Why?

The calves.

She's got dancer calves.

How do you know she's got dancer calves? She's wearing pants.

I know they're there.

You can't hide calves like that. Hey, they're going over to the couple couch.

How can he do that?

You see, hey, now that's how you make things happen. Kudos, Robert, huh?

There are also signals you have to pay attention to on the field.

For example...

If you're going for a ball and you don't see the warning track, chances are

you're going to run right into a brick wall.

Hey, you guys. Hey, go there.

Who's the cutie?

Oh, that's Claire.

Man, she is scrumdilly -ish. I know, right?

Where do I know her from? You met her at the block party. She lives in my

building.

Oh, how long have you been seeing her?

Um, you know, we've been, like, off and on. We were off, and now we're, you

know... On?

Yeah, I guess so.

Well, at least I don't have to meet her.

You guys want to meet her? Yeah.

Claire.

So, this is Penny.

Hi. That's Mike.

Hey, nice to meet you. And this is PJ.

Hi, nice to meet you.

Hi. You know, I think I met you once before at your block party.

Oh, right.

You came to my yoga class.

One.

That was hard.

My body doesn't do that without booze.

You take yoga?

Actually, I teach at the Center for Inner Peace.

Of course you do. There's actually a dancer.

Well, yeah, but it's hard to pay the bills dancing, so.

Not if you're stripping.

All right. Well, we'll see you guys in a little bit then.

Namaste. Well, at least the girl Bobby likes isn't perfect in every way.

Oh, wait.

Actually, she is.

In baseball, a tug on the ear could mean hit and run, a swipe of the arm steals

second base, but you always got to be careful because sometimes a scratch on

nose is just a scratch on the nose.

Maybe Bobby's actually just psychotic. I mean, how could he just pretend that

nothing happened? I mean, he didn't even act guilty.

It doesn't make any sense. Which is why I then go to, he's just not that

interested. But he made out with you.

And he brought you a present.

Bringing someone, like, a baseball, you know?

It's not romantic.

No. Steph.

She was one of those women with, like, really little risk.

Oh, I'm sorry.

No, no, no, seriously.

You are a caring and intelligent and well -educated woman.

Okay, why don't you just say I'm ugly?

Come on, you know you are.

Gorgeous. Oh, God. See, now you have to say that.

Wow.

Oh, my God.

You look fantastic.

Yeah. Ducky gills after dark.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

This is going to be a very bad idea.

Oh, look, don't you start on me now, too, all right? I get enough from her.

look too good, and there's an ex -girlfriend involved and a wedding.

Wendy is going to take one look at you in that suit and either hate you for

breaking up with her or want you back, and either way, it's going to be bad.

Bad? Bad.

You guys are being ridiculous, all right? Look, we're going to go to the

wedding, we're going to eat our dried -out chicken, we're going to dance to

celebration, and when the open bar turns to cash bar, go our separate ways.

Oh, so the, uh, the tie works? Because I wasn't sure if I should go, you know,

bow or not. Oh, my God, you love that you look that good.

You're hoping to rub it in. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Think it'll work?

Oh, Brent, is it at all possible that you're okay with this pretending thing

because you get to pretend you're still together?

No, I'm glad we're broken up. Well, how broken up can you be if you are going

out with her tonight?

Okay. All right, you know what? No, I'm not going to do this, because it's two

against one, and I don't have a chance, so I'm out of here, all right? Good

night, ladies.

I will see you later.

All right, well, I'm going to go, too.

Yeah? Oh, yeah, of course.

Punker's starting, and no. Yeah. And I'm going to go to bed early, so...

No, you're not. You're going to Match .com. I have to see if Kevin from

Milwaukee emailed me back.

Uh, you're going all the way out to Milwaukee.

Oh, he's cool. His house has a lake view.

Steph, everyone in Milwaukee has a lake view.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, and hey, with the Bobby thing, just don't let it make you crazy, okay?

Yeah. I mean, you made out one night, so, you know, play it cool.

And you know what? I'm not working the next few days, so I don't have to see

him. All right, honey. All right. Bye. Bye.

We brought chips.

Hey, I ordered some pizza.

Pizza. I got nothing.

Nothing. I picked up some beer.

How's it going?

Fine. Yeah?

Yeah, I'm awesome. Things are great, you know?

Couldn't be better.

Fine.

Good.

So, Claire seems nice.

Okay, so, what the hell? Were you already, like, dating her when you came

here the other night? Or was it after our talk? that you decided to start

seriously seeing someone?

Or was it like... Oh, okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What I am just

curious.

Okay, well, first of all, I had gone out with her a few times before I even met

you. Well, that's fine.

And secondly, I gave you a present, and you immediately gave me the cold

shoulder. Yeah, but we cleared all that up. You said you understood. When? When

did we clear all that up? In the locker room after the game. We talked about

hamburgers. Yeah, that's because the other guys were there.

They already knew about the hamburgers. No, it wasn't about the hamburgers. It

was about us and you said that we were clear on it. Okay, I thought I was clear

on the hamburgers. I mean, I got a little lost around the grilled cheese

but I definitely don't know what we're talking about now.

Well, I was trying to tell you that we should just keep things between, you

know, just between us. By telling me that the fun thing about the billy goat

that it's underground?

PJ, that's a tough one. My point wasn't that I'm not interested.

I just didn't want people at work to know.

Including me, apparently.

Okay, well, I thought that you weren't interested when you said keep it

professional. Why didn't you just say what you meant?

Well, it's like we're in battle, and we're behind the enemy lines, and

spies everywhere.

Okay, PJ, PJ, no. No more metaphors, okay? I'm saying...

I can't read minds, okay?

So when you act like you barely know me in front of the guys, and then you say

that you don't want it to be awkward, what am I supposed to think?

And, my God, why is it that every time I talk to you, I feel like a chick?

Look, Kenny, I think you should know I'm going out with Kate this Friday night.

Okay. Really?

Yeah, man, well, you didn't ask her out the other night at Crowley's, and you

had coffee with her once, like, two months ago. Well, maybe I work at a

pace than you do.

You work so slow, she thinks your name is Jerry.

You're making that up. No, I'm not, Jer.

Kenny, the statute of limitations on Kate is up. What, you got this guy

for you now?

He's my attorney.

You can't keep my client from asking out a girl you have not been nor are

currently pursuing. But I have pursued her.

Having coffee with a girl does not constitute an actual date, Jer.

Yeah, and having coffee with a girl a second time is really just a way of

saying, I'm a wuss. And her way of saying, we're just going to be friends,

How would you know? You've been married for like a hundred years. Which is why

I'm able to sit high on my marital perch and look down, unsullied, and rule on

all I see.

Who are you?

I'm Batman.

So maybe I could have been a little more clear about things, huh?

Maybe.

And, look, I'm sorry about our whole, you know, mix -up, but Claire and I have

gone out a few times now, and, I mean, she's cool.

So she's cool, huh?

Yeah, we're sort of dating now.

That's awesome.

You and me are just, you know, we're weird and confusing and...

I don't know. I've been dancing around this whole Claire thing for a while now,

and I kind of feel like I need to give it a shot.

Right.

It's ironic because she's a dancer.

You're dancing around.

Thank you for laughing politely.

I'm a huge dork.

Hey, are we going to play poker tonight or what?

Kenny, I am trying to help you, okay? Just consider this a coffee

What is wrong with taking a girl out for a cup of coffee?

Dude, when you're trying to pick up a girl, the last thing you want her to be

alert and focused.

Yeah, I'm not trying to make a dress out of her. I'm trying to get to know her.

I'm not telling you to pick her up in a van with no inside door handle, but it

doesn't hurt to get her a little liquored up. Okay, Sounds for Lambs. You

your style, I got mine. PJ, back me up, huh? Tell him he's getting nowhere with

the whole coffee thing.

Okay, well, I don't think you should store her in a well, but I do think

A woman wants a guy who's willing to put himself out there. I mean, you're not

going to meet somebody by just playing it safe.

Kenny, what are you waiting for? You think some girl is just going to invite

to her apartment and jump you?

Line's up. Line's up.

Pick a buck. Here we go. Pick a buck.

You know, I have an idea for a great movie. What's that? It would be you

eaten by a bear.

Hey.

Oh. Whoa.

What's up, drinky? Oh.

How was the wedding?

Oh.

Not good.

Nope.

Bad. What happened?

Oh, nightmare.

She caught the bouquet.

Uh -huh.

And slapped me across the face with it during this fight we had.

What'd you fight about? She danced the whole night with that pig, Chuck

He is a pig. It's a pig. So I hit him. And you did?

No.

But I wanted to appear, and I won. I'm sure.

Oh, man, I'm sorry.

I should listen to you. You're right.

You know why? Because broken up is broken up.

And you can't pretend.

Well, maybe one of these days you'll listen to me.

I doubt it.

Oh, how was poker?

Well, Bobby's seeing Claire now, so that's like, you know, a thing.

Huh.

You know, it's okay. I brought it on myself.

I can't stop acting like a moron in front of him. Well, please. I mean, do

ever just think that maybe he's just not ready for you?

That sounds like something my mother would say to make me feel better.

No, I'm seriously, you know, like last week, he totally freaks out on you. And

then he starts dating this very non -threatening, shy girl.

You know, I mean, maybe you're just too much for him. Maybe he's got to grow

into you a little bit. You know, I mean, you're a force.

Okay, so what am I supposed to do? Be left me?

No, God, are you kidding? You're the best.

I'm a dorky boy compared to Claire. You know, you're much more like a girl than

you let people realize.

Oh, yeah? Like how?

Well, I don't know a lot of guys that would cry at those MasterCard

Yeah, but... What am I supposed to do? I mean, it's so great the way the whole

family goes to the game and...

But you know it's his first game. You can see it in his face.

Sometimes players can be so in sync, it's like they don't need signs.

They just know what each other is thinking instinctively.

And when you play with the same guys long enough, you get so comfortable that

you really know their strengths and weaknesses.

And it makes playing the game so much easier.