Original subtitles

Right, listen in.

Please.

As you know, I'm not one for making long motivational speeches, but today is

going to be an exception.

This house has always been our greatest asset, and now it's going to have to act

like one, which is why I want our guests to feel like this is their home from

home. Okay?

Any questions?

Just one.

Uncle Donald.

Rob Roy, Robert the Bruce, Archie Gemmell.

Three men with one thing in common, a sense of pride.

When things were hard, did they falter?

No.

Did they decide to turn their homes into boarding houses?

No.

And I think we should follow their example.

Oh, Molly, surely you can't agree with this.

Domination. Our home is at stake. I think Paul deserves our full

Thank you, Molly.

Then I walk alone.

Our guests are going to expect the best.

I want us to give it to them.

Right, we're on.

Mr. Zinchenko, welcome to Glenbogle.

Smaller than I imagined.

Much smaller.

Mrs. Zinchenko, Paul MacDonald, and my family. We're all here to make your stay

as comfortable as possible.

Well, from what you've told me, I would say that your future depended on it.

Wouldn't you?

I hope you don't mind.

Victor absolutely insisted on bringing Yuri.

Well, Yuri's very welcome, too.

Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Maybe he only speaks Russian.

Did you know about all this?

I knew he was eccentric.

Here's the deal, Molly. Victor owns spa hotels all over the world. If we can

prove to him that Glenn Bogle has what it takes to offer a luxury weekend, he's

willing to consider a partnership.

Nice of him.

What he still needs convincing, though, which is why his wish is going to be our

command. There you are.

I prepared this for you.

I have certain specific dietary requirements.

Basically, I don't touch dairy or anything containing gluten.

And no red meat, obviously.

Obviously.

I'll let the chef know right away.

Victor bought them for me.

There was this wildlife park that was going out of business.

You know when people buy you a gift that they really want themselves?

Annoying, isn't it?

Well, that's Victor for you.

Always on the lookout for a bargain.

Forced him to throw in a year's supply of food.

All right. What does he eat?

The rest of the zoo.

I can see your face.

Oh, there we go.

I'm going to be checking the temperature first.

Just test it, son.

Here we go.

Do you want to keep a lid on the smug dad routine, assuming you want me to

him babysitting for you? I never said I would.

Those deer won't know it's hit them.

No, Paul needs today to be right.

No slip -ups.

No slip -ups.

Oh, go on, then. Yeah, it's going to be a good day. Dad, do you have to chase

out the door? I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going.

Right, jacket.

You were saying something about his lip up?

Dad?

No matter how many times you look at it, it always takes your breath away.

86 .2%. I'm sorry?

The number of new hospitality businesses that fail in the first year is 86 .2%.

Think you can beat those odds?

I hope so.

I don't invest my money in hope, Mr. McDonald.

So, show us to our rooms.

Certainly. Follow me.

Tofu? Some sort of angular oriental fish?

Condensed bean curd.

Things are worse than I thought. Not only is my ancestral home being turned

a glorified bed -and -breakfast establishment, they're serving bean

Where will it end?

Obese Americans gee -whizzing at the family's silver? A gift shop?

Please, God, don't let there be a gift shop. Don't you think they're

overreacting? My dear boy, I never overreact.

Do I detect a certain frost?

There was an error of judgment.

Yours, I presume.

Though the female ego is a delicate beast, if you want, buy it. Which I

Situations like this, it is crucial to maintain one's dignity.

Walk, as they say, on by.

I'll bear that in mind.

Looks like you overdid the top, Hu.

There's definitely no sign of a disc problem.

Looks like a simple case of acute muscular spasm.

Easy for you to say.

Laughing through the tears.

Take two of these three times a day. As much gentle movement as you can. Gentle,

mind you, we can't fight Mother Nature.

However much some of us might like to.

Right.

Goodbye, Cameron.

We engineers of chaos, that's what I always say, expensive to run,

unreliable, and never a word of thanks at the end of the day.

Goodbye. Thanks.

Where do you think you're going?

Work. Dad, you told me that this weekend is important. Paul needs a stalker, not

a liability.

There we go.

Oh, yes.

We call it quality time.

Who are you voting?

Someone who would like to help.

You just sit there, all right?

I can manage.

You're still upset with me, aren't you?

I just heard this thing about honesty.

When I said I was 18, it was for false benefit.

After that, things got a little out of hand.

That's one way of looking at it.

So is Zoe talking to you yet? We don't get a lot of time for talking.

Too busy with grown -up stuff.

I'd expect a 16 -year -old kid to understand that.

Funny, because last this kid heard, she was giving you the silent treatment.

Or is totally ignoring you the adult way, showing affection?

You've been smoking?

They're your lungs.

Hey, did he get all the shopping?

Enough to start a rabbit farm.

Yeah, well, this weekend is all about giving Victor sweet.

It never pays to accept the missus now, does it?

Just what we were saying.

You know, I'm really looking forward to this.

I mean, the whole household pulling together, everyone with a specific role.

mean, I'm the cook, Donald's the local colour, you're the... Remind me, what is

it you do exactly that's called out forever?

Yeah, we can't have you hanging around looking untidy.

Any ideas?

It's always housemaid.

Housemaid? Can't be serious.

Yeah, a bit of hard work never hurt anyone.

And since we're still undecided about school, can you show the ropes?

Believe me, boss, it'd be a pleasure.

How's the hostess with the moustache?

Hurrah! Get, that'll do.

Yes.

Well, actually, there has been a tiny change of plan.

No way.

Tools of the trade.

We cannae forget this.

You're joking?

It was my mum's. I dug it out specially.

No need to thank me.

Has anybody ever told you how irritating you are? Thanks for noticing, but I'm

making a special effort for you.

Zoe should thank me.

Seems to me like she had a narrow escape.

That'd be why she agreed to come over tonight.

You'd be pleased.

Today of all days.

I hardly think Golly put his back out on purpose.

With I, he just is quite capable.

Oh, I'm sure you'll muddle through without me.

You know, I expected Donald to kick up a fuss.

But I had hoped that you'd be behind me on this.

Golly needs me.

I can't just ignore a friend in need.

Which leaves me without a hostess.

I mean, I can't expect you and an Amy to run things.

What about Donald?

Pretend I didn't hear that.

There is someone we haven't thought of.

Oh.

Hi. Sorry.

I just wanted a quick word.

Oh, I didn't think anyone else ever came here. I mean, I've never seen anybody

here before.

Perhaps you should... Yeah, right.

You know, we've got bathrooms up at the house.

17, in fact.

Uh -huh.

So do you do this a lot?

Yeah, as often as I can.

It wakes me up.

You should try it.

It's all right with you. I think I'll sip to the coffee.

Don't you, Soph?

Still?

You don't know what you're missing.

You're not getting a fair idea.

I wouldn't ask if I wasn't desperate.

Flattery will get you everywhere.

So you'll do it?

Well, what if I mess up?

I mean, I'm not a people person, Paul. I'm a sheep person.

Do they have any sheep?

Not exactly.

It'll just be till Molly gets back.

It's easy. All you've got to do is keep smiling.

How's that?

Perfect. I used to have a farm in Africa, you know.

There, Phil.

It could wait for another day, you were saying?

Harold, you got an apology?

I don't think it's ever come up.

I need to get Zoe back.

Need or want?

About both.

I presume you've tried the usuals, grovelling two dozen bed roses?

You thought the ratio worked, haven't you?

This one's going to take more than a few flowers.

Ah.

Well, in that case, I might be able to help you.

Hi.

Hi.

Thank you so much for the flowers.

I'd better make a move. Oh, and the fed baby is in there.

I can manage by myself.

Oh, really?

From where I'm standing, it looks as if I've arrived in the nick of time.

It's amazing what you discovered during periods of house arrest.

Now, at the turn of the dial... Picture the scene.

Two estranged lovers rekindle their desire with hot water and cold

champagne.

You think she'll go for it?

There's only one way to find out.

I'd like to introduce you to your hostess, Iona.

Iona will be looking after you today. If there's anything you need, please don't

hesitate to ask her.

I need signal.

You don't have signal anywhere.

There's a phone just outside in the hall.

When it's working.

I see Glen Bogle as filling a niche.

A real executive retreat.

Think of it as a haven of glorious isolation, far away from the daily

Or civilisation.

I assume you still have bathrooms.

Oh, 17.

Yours is just through here.

Oh! Oh, don't mind me. Carry on.

is happening with or without your blessing. One more trick like that and

out of your ear, family or no family.

A Scotsman's home is his castle, or vice versa in my case.

It'll take more than idle threats to dethrone this tartan barnacle.

When I agreed to come, it was on the understanding that we'd be spending some

more time together.

We will, I promise.

But this is business.

Which comes first?

That does not mean that you don't deserve a little pleasure. Close your

Close them.

No.

Victor. Anything you want.

Remember that, anything.

You know what I want.

They're waiting for me downstairs, son.

Yes, we will discuss this later.

Molly, there is really no need for any of this.

This place was an accident waiting to happen.

I almost even had it ship -shaped. Jess and I can deal with it later if you

would just sit.

Nonsense.

Something therapeutic about a good clean clears the air, don't you think?

Uh -uh.

Once smelt, never forgotten.

Let's see if we've still gotten the man.

Oh, little lamb.

So what's he like?

Don't worry, the hat tells me all I need to know.

How starker.

A woman.

Thank you for noticing.

Oh, I suppose she looks fit enough.

She knows the hill?

Born and bred in the heather.

Magnificent.

Isn't he?

A 16 -pointer. But I don't expect you to count them.

He took some bringing down, I can tell you. Best part of a thousand yards.

You shot this?

It was in my younger days, but I claim full responsibility.

Then this is what I will shoot, too.

You can arrange?

Well, heads like that are very thin on the ground. I don't see why it should be

a problem.

Good.

Then that is settled.

We start now.

So the gauntlet is laid down. Let's just hope he's not a poor loser.

an astronaut?

Cosmonaut.

I flew six missions.

I have several records.

That's all I wanted to be when I was a kid. An astronaut.

Cosmonaut. Yeah, right.

I used to make rockets out of cardboard boxes, you know, pile one on top of the

other and there was the launch pad.

Yeah, you would not have been suitable.

You know who I always felt sorry for? That wee dog we sent out there when it

first started.

What was it called? Sputnik.

Like that.

She was Soviet hero, proud to go into space.

There's not much choice in the matter.

We, uh, we stalk on the land as far as you can see.

100 head in a good year.

Somebody? Who?

There's nobody here.

Is this the way you plan to treat all your guests? Just the ones who don't

how to handle a gun.

Look, look, I think there's been some kind of misunderstanding.

On this estate, we shoot after we start.

Perhaps, perhaps I didn't make that clear enough from the start.

Yes, I agree. This was not made clear to me.

So, from now, we will do things your way.

Here, you can find me something.

back on at five.

And what am I supposed to do in the meantime?

Well, there's always a lock.

I know this amazing place. No one ever goes there. Well, almost no one.

You're serious, aren't you?

Unbelievable.

There, I assume you have a laundry service.

Oh, I'm sure that we can find.

This is going to need washing. It's Italian cashmere, so... So...

So be very careful.

Hector was just the same when his back went too much too soon.

And we can't have you getting dehydrated.

Personally, I'd say it'd do another day or two.

Yours not to reason why.

You going somewhere?

Just a couple of messages.

I thought we were supposed to be working together.

We are.

I tell you what to do and you do it.

You hit me!

We all make mistakes.

Is that how rich is he?

Think wildest dreams, then travel it.

It's strange having that much money.

You have to buy anything you want.

Or anyone.

Oh, you think I'm enjoying this?

I don't have a choice. We do this, or the bank calls in the loans. All of

Things have been bad before, Paul.

Not like this, believe me.

Read them and weep.

Steampointer. Could be our luck's about to change.

Right, sir.

You're all right here.

You can see my good books.

I like certain people I can mention.

How long are you going to keep this up?

How about the rest of my life?

Do the usual, please, Zoe.

Look, I want to make up to you.

Tonight. Something special.

I'm busy.

Doing what?

Nothing. Nothing.

What are you doing?

Go home.

How special.

It's tiny.

What am I going to tell her?

Whoops.

It's about 300 yards.

Might be a slight drop on the shop.

The wind down there is stronger than you think. It's coming across here.

Yes, yes, yes. I've done this many times.

Complete silence, please.

She moved.

She moved and made me miss.

I don't miss.

I demand apology.

It's just that she didn't move.

So now you're calling me a liar in front of my driver.

No one's calling anyone anyway.

Victor's right.

My elbow slipped as he shot.

I apologise.

I don't miss.

Like you said, we need his money.

And right now, my pride comes cheap.

No, Ewan.

I was hoping you'd rustle up a sandwich or two.

He's gone out.

Ah, well, here's hoping he took my advice.

So the course of true love never did run smooth.

What, you think it's true love?

Not just true like or true good friend?

Well... It's difficult to say.

But you could always ask him.

I could.

But it's not really any more business.

Quite. Quite.

Well, get back to my sandwich.

Oh,

it's you.

I was just looking around.

Whose room is this?

Oh, one of the ghillies has a wee one.

Oh, these.

Beautiful old things.

Yeah, I think it's always been a nursery. For the family.

You're lucky.

A little boy.

Is it a little boy?

Mm -hm.

You can leave that in the room.

Actually, I came to apologise.

It's ruined?

Have you got any idea how much that cost?

Well, of course we'll replace it. Well, from what Victor tells me, I doubt any

of you could afford it.

Oh, just get out.

I'm sorry we couldn't get you another shot. Your stalker was clearly

inexperienced. I shouldn't have to remind you that your clients are going

expect the very best.

Mighty hunter's return.

I take it the beast survived to fight another day?

It was something that I hate to see.

An old stag passed its prime, vainly struggling to lead his hinds to barren

land. The dead wood must be cut out for the good of the herd.

Don't you agree?

Yes. We will dine in our room.

I assume you can manage to arrange that.

Of course.

Considering your past performance, you will forgive me if I reserve judgment.

Extraordinary.

Your Russian friend seems to have lost his mind. Really?

From where I was standing, it all made perfect sense.

So he doesn't know what she's missing.

I'm not stupid.

So did it work?

The big apology.

Can I get back to you on that one?

Well, I brought it.

Now what?

You won't be disappointed.

Well, let's hope not, eh?

And, er, love the look.

More tea?

Molly.

Molly, could you do something for me?

Silly me. I forgot.

Time for your pills.

No, not the pills. This. This!

I want you to stop this.

I don't understand.

Cooking and cleaning in my house is just not right.

But Jess asked me to... Yeah, well, she should have checked with me first.

Are you saying you don't want me here?

No.

You are welcome in my home any time you want.

But not like this!

I see.

I thought that's what friends did, helped each other out.

I see I was wrong.

Hello?

How's my brave soldier?

You think I should be going?

I ordered dinner in our room.

I thought you quit.

Started again.

Imagine living in a place like this.

One family.

Father and son.

Generation after generation.

I understand what you are asking me for.

Really.

And when we married, I promised you everything your heart desired.

I never go back on my word.

You mean it? Of course.

Can I give you some advice?

Sure.

See when you get yours done, lose the hat.

He's out with Donald.

Hotel Glenbogle.

Unthinkable.

Well, estates like this have always changed to survive.

What if they don't survive?

What do you mean?

One day is payday.

Golly, Jeff, you and...

Not even close.

Victor Zinchenko is my last throw of the dice.

And they don't know about the money.

Surely if you told them to explain the situation, they would understand.

And they're led.

That makes it my responsibility.

My watch.

Father to son for generations.

And all there was ever after me was to maintain that tradition.

I don't know, I thought I should let them all down.

Ooh.

The end, then?

Well... Got my bubbles.

All I need now is my apology.

Well, I would.

But I've always thought that actions take later than work.

You've got to be kidding.

I'll free!

I'll do wonders for your pores.

Let's get straight.

I'll go in and we're back together.

The way it used to be.

You and me. If that's what you want.

Full privileges.

More than you ever imagined.

Cold?

Good. How do you believe me?

Oh, I believe you, all right.

Doesn't mean I forgive you.

You just said if I go... Ewan, I trusted you and you made me look stupid.

I just wanted you to know how it felt.

I

told

you I'm fine.

What if I don't think you used the little brain that you were born with?

I have served the McDonald's for most of my days.

Aye, and things have changed, Dad, whether you like it or not.

Molly may be a MacDonald, but she's also your oldest friend.

Shut her out now and you'll lose that forever.

If that's what you want, fine.

If not, and if I were you, I'd do something about it.

Oh!

Well, at least it's original.

Ghost may just get a Porsche.

I know I did.

Done, Hatchell's son.

The good ship, humiliation, and all...

Say, Larry.

I'm not laughing.

Well, why not? It was a magnificent improvisation. And no woman who wasn't

serious would have gone to such lengths.

All you have to do is go cap in hand and rub it to your father's brother.

What if I don't want to? Oh, now, now.

Churlishness is very unsportsmanlike.

It's not that.

It's just... I think I like someone else.

Ah.

Anyone we know... Oh, no, no, no. Full disclosure is optional. The important

thing is... We are dealing with the classic love triangle.

And in that case, you must disregard all my previous advice.

No problem.

The theory is simple. The execution complex. The trick, in my experience, is

listen to this and ignore this or any other part of the anatomy that springs

mind.

I should have sensed something was wrong.

I've tried to help, but all I've done is make things work. I mean, look at me.

I'm not exactly hostess material, am I?

It's not your fault.

When Jess called, well, let's just say, I didn't need to be asked twice.

Somehow, when things change, it's easy to just put your head in the sand and

leave it there.

Oh, no, I didn't mean that he... No, no, you were right to tell me.

I'm glad Paul felt able to confide in you.

Sometimes it's easier to talk to someone that you're not close to.

Of course.

Anyway, the important thing is he needs our help.

Oh. Well, what exactly did you have in mind?

Who's this?

The eighth laird of Glenbogle.

Trying to form an alliance with the English.

What happened to him? Well...

First he was hung, drawn and quartered, then they dragged his body around the

estate with wild horses, and finally they just fed him to the wolves.

Charming. He wasn't a very nice man.

I knew they were here somewhere.

If they want the best, then the best they are going to get.

I have made my position perfectly clear.

No surface.

Inspector MacDonald would stoop to such a thing.

Even if it means proving yourself indispensable?

Indispensable?

It occurs to me that any new business partner is going to want to make

cut out the deadwood, as they say, which is why I thought you'd jump at the

chance to help.

Considering the likely alternative... Alternative?

I found this in Paul's office.

He wouldn't dare.

Are you prepared to risk it?

Chambermaid, head chef, and last but not least, our new maitre d'.

I just want to say something.

This house is not just a roof over our heads.

It's my home, and I love it.

And thanks to Ken Bogle, Ewan has a vocation, Amy has a new family, and I

it's time for us all to give something back.

I know that Donald wants to say a few words.

Do I?

Oh, yes, oh, yes.

The way I see it...

The old place is calling in her marker.

And to paraphrase an old drinking chum of mine, ask not what Glenn Bogle can do

for you, but what you can do for Glenn Bogle.

Tell me, I'm dreaming.

Believe me, from where I'm standing, it looks more like a nightmare.

Milk and sugar?

They did this?

Oh, that's ruined.

What are you doing?

I thought I might keep it.

Oh, you're crazy, aren't you?

Yes, come in!

Your morning paper, sir.

Oh.

Yeah, it's warm.

I took the liberty of ironing it.

Your breakfast awaits you, sir.

Oh, thank you.

Murder.

No grapefruit to take away.

If he can't order some.

So what do you think?

I'm stoned.

Are we talking about your star?

Yeah, yeah, of course.

How did you, um... Well, it's amazing what happens when you ask for a little

help.

You got something you want to tell me?

Oh, I get it.

Jamil prayed a bit, Bruce.

Well, if I don't help you out... Let's see, you made a mistake.

You didn't know when you had a good thing going.

But now you've seen the error of your ways, you'd like things to go back to

they were.

Who did I do?

Don't.

I do like you.

That's all.

I don't think it'd be right if we carried on.

Well, I get it.

Funny.

Considering we got ripped in all.

Sorry.

Do you remember when Archie couldn't sleep?

That Tuesday I had to drive him round the estate.

Yeah.

Round and round the loft until the wee fella drifted off.

When I come down in the morning, they'd both be dead to the world.

It's funny what sticks in your mind.

You must miss Meg.

Why do I always say the most obvious things at times like this? Of course you

miss her. Yes.

But I've missed you too, Molly.

Nothing ever stays the same.

People leave us to muddle on.

And we still make a mess of things.

Yesterday, that look in your eyes, it really hurt me.

You know, I would never do that.

Molly, maybe... Maybe now is the time for us to...

Forget what we are and remember what we have.

I like that.

Friends.

So, now we've got that settled, do you think you could play the family retainer

one more time?

Oh, bravo!

I would like to make a toast.

To the future of Hotel Glimbogo.

And to all those that made it possible.

Can you get a move on?

We're supposed to be rushing for the rushing.

Just needs the peace of regard.

Amy, I just wanted to tell you that Zoe and me... Are back together.

I know.

I saw the way you were with her last night. It's not like that.

Look, I've been thinking about what I did.

Letting you think that I was, you know, older.

It's pretty childish, really.

If you see what I mean.

Like, what I'm trying to say is it'd be a lot more fun if the two of us were

friends.

Don't you think?

Friends? Yeah.

You know, mates, buddies,

game of pool, shoot the breeze, watch the footy.

Actually, I draw the line at the footy.

So how about it?

Friends?

Sure.

Great. Well, hungry, might as well be.

Mr. McDonald, I would like to thank you for your hospitality.

Yesterday I asked you if you thought you had what it took to be a successful

businessman. What I have seen today has finally convinced me.

Your home is ramshackle and old -fashioned. Your staff are amateurish,

control over them seems tenuous at best.

However, I am prepared to make you an offer.

No partnership, just my cash for your house.

Sorry, wait a minute. This weekend was about investment.

Your money in my business.

For me to invest my money in such events, it would be complete madness.

I want you out of my house.

At least... Take a look at what I am offering you.

What are you doing?

Giving you what I promised.

What we agreed on.

You think I want their home?

We instruments the torture.

I don't know how you can stand it.

How did you know I was here?

Well, it's a lucky guess.

You know, Victor's looking for you.

I thought a man who'd been into space could take me anywhere.

And it was true.

Victor has given me everything my heart desired.

Travel, clothes, everything.

Except a baby.

Yesterday I really thought he understood.

That he loved me enough.

Now I know I was wrong.

I'll be there in a minute

Indomitable spirit, that's what today was about.

I think we muddled through, but we all went one better.

Even if it wasn't enough?

All the more reason.

Some choice.

Either way, we lose.

No.

Better a sheep than a lamb, surely.

Yuri, he's gone.

If you've come to apologize...

Thank you.

Some old Swahili line whisperer.

I can make him roll over if you want.

How is

she?

Recovering. Thank you for what you did.

That was nothing. No, it was me who did nothing.

My wife wants a child.

And you don't?

I tell her I like my life too much, the money, the travel, but it's not true.

The truth, I was married before.

We had a child together, Tanya.

My ex -wife took her, along with a few millions.

She used me to get the baby she wanted, and I swore I would never make the same

mistake again.

All I ever wanted was a trophy wife.

Is that too much to ask for?

You haven't told Katrina all this, have you?

I can see that you have never married.

I hoped that the money, the gifts, would be enough to keep her happy.

You see, Mr. McDonald, you should never invest your money in hope.

Perhaps your wife deserves a chance.

To break my heart, huh?

You love her?

Yes, I love her.

And the way I see it, whatever you choose, it's still a gamble.

We're better at sheep than at lamb, surely.

Lamb? Sheep? What the... No McDonald would ever win only sell this house to

or anyone else.

Looks like we'll have to take our chances.

Maybe you should do the same thing, Victor.

I can't talk to you right now. Please, just listen to me.

There's something I want to tell you.

Her name is Tanya.

She's six years old.

But now she would be Clint.

She's my daughter.

I wish that I had told you.

It's panther dung.

Foxy can't stand it.

I don't have a point.

Who are you, you know? A scrubbed up look.

Do you have a tire of all this?

Oh no, no way.

I'm a sheep person, remember?

Love me, love my wellies.

I'll bear that in mind.

So are they filling the room?

Busy making little cosminauts.

Look at you. You're a hotel owner, lying tamer, and now marriage guidance.

If it's all right with you, I think I'll stick to being a lad.

Why, it must be awful for you.

Still, seeing as you're here...

Friends?

The ultimate dual killer. Yes.

I once had a friend who was a woman.

What happened?

We got married. Oh, it was a very brief affair.

36 hours, if I remember correctly.

The worst day of the half of my life.

Is this more advice or just a random trip down memory lane?

Oh, I never give advice.

Useless. A wise man doesn't need it and a fool won't take it.

Remind me to never talk to you again.

What do you do with him? A local derby to take him.

Pity, I was getting so attached to him, I was considering adoption.

Then take again.

Thank you.

So, for three nights plus tip, hmm?

For you.

No, no, no. I can't accept this.

A small price to pay for a second chance.

But you are a proud man.

Cossack blood, I think, huh?

So you do what you want with it.

A word of advice.

No Cossack ever became hoteliac.

Cosmonaut, maybe.

Well, how much do you have here?

Let's just say we lived apart all the day. Okay.

Actually, I was thinking of a safari park.

What would motivate a kidnapper if he never asked for a ransom?

Gruesome discoveries in Waking the Dead next on BBC One, while on BBC Three,

David Dickinson and Tommy Walsh go racing as stars in...

Cars.