Original subtitles

How're we hanging?

Oh, hey. Hey, what's up?

Is that Pete? Is Pete back?

Is that Pete? No, Jay.

It's just Thor.

Just? Thor not love that.

Jay's a little anxious.

He's waiting on some big news.

Last week, a critic

from the Hudson Valley Gazette

came to review the restaurant.

A couple of us ghosts sussed it out

when we overheard him talking on his cell phone

in the parking lot when he was leaving.

Anyway, we sent Pete to the Gazette offices

to spy on the reviewer and find out in advance

if it's a good review or a bad review.

You know, I don't even care. Reviews aren't important.

What matters is whether or not I'm proud of the food.

Which I am.

So I think we just tell Pete to call this whole thing off.

Hey, gang.

Hey! Pete's back.

What did he say? Did he like it?

Am I ruined? Am I a star?

Babe, come on here, I'm drowning.

He hasn't said anything yet.

Well, let the man speak. Geez!

Okay, I'll get right to it. It's a rave!

The critic loved Jay's restaurant.

He loved it, babe.

Oh, what a relief.

This is huge!

Man, it feels good to spread joy.

This must be what Johnny Appleseed felt like.

You get an apple tree. You get an apple tree.

You get an apple tree!

Where is this going, Pete?

I don't know. Sometimes it just feels good to make noise.

That was pretty fun.

See? He gets it.

Who's this guy?

That's Chris, the dinosaur-loving stripper

that Sam previously hired to dance

in front of an empty chair

at Isaac's bachelor party.

No, I know. I meant this guy.

I'm Isaac.

Oh, right on. Cool pants.

Excited to be back, Sam.

Now, will I be performing for an empty chair

while you watch again?

That wasn't for me. That was...

Well, you see, the reason...

There's really no good explanation.

You'll be performing for a bachelorette party

full of living humans.

I mean, people.

Smooth.

Well, then let's talk price tiers.

There's the simple

"here's your pizza, extra sausage" package.

That sounds pretty good. Then you've got

your "fireman with a hose," your "plumber with a pipe,"

and then the big boy,

our premium package known as "It's Raining Men."

Yes, please. Samantha.

Can you request that he reprise

his erotic Dilophosaurus clicking routine?

That's a crowd-pleaser.

Uh-uh, this is not your party.

This is my great-grandniece's bachelorette party,

and she's not into dinosaurs 'cause she's an adult.

So just back off. Oh, perfect timing.

Here comes the bride-to-be.

Alicia, this is Chris.

We're discussing his package.

Chris, great to meet you. Sorry.

I don't want to be rude, but it's bad luck

for the bride to see the stripper

before the bachelorette party.

Oh, that's not true. Carol saw her stripper

before the... Oh, my God.

Oh, uh, sorry, I wasn't aware of that particular tradition.

Oh.

Yeah, at least I have my pants on.

Otherwise, the whole weekend would be cursed.

Uh, Alicia,

I will see you tomorrow night.

And who knows, it may just be raining men.

Hallelujah.

Thank you.

So, are you excited for the big weekend?

Very. There's a rumor CCR's gonna do a secret set.

I am.

Oh, it's so amazing to be here.

And I know it sounds woo-woo, but...

I really can feel Alberta's presence.

I'm right here, sweetie.

Ask about the guy, Sam.

Tell me about your fiancé. His name's Derrick?

Yeah. He's pretty great. We actually met on the subway.

And it's really weird 'cause the night before,

I had a dream I was gonna meet someone on the subway.

And there he was.

He stood up to give me his seat.

He sounds like a gentleman.

Oh, he goes to church. He's nice to his mom.

Oh, loving all of this.

Tell me, what does he do for work?

He's a musician.

Mm-mm. Hell no.

Like, professionally? Yeah.

He's a guitarist.

Tell her to walk away, Sam!

Being with a musician is signing up

for a lifetime of heartache.

I'm very happy for you.

I can confirm, musicians are no bueno.

Speaking as an oboist.

The bad boys of the woodwind section.

Two reeds, twice the trouble.

You see anything?

Give me a sec. Very dangerous.

That's how Sylvia Plath kill herself.

TV was on PBS, and Trevor not there to change it.

Looks like it's just the pilot light.

I'll take care of it.

Oh, by the way, the Hudson Valley Gazette is

publishing a review of Mahesh.

And a little birdie told me... it's a rave.

Tweet tweet. I'm the little birdie.

Dude, that's amazing.

I say we celebrate with some mortadella.

You know that stuff's like $20 a pound, right?

Yeah, that's why I don't have it at my house.

Not to gloat, but I may have played a hand in that review.

Or more accurately, played a finger in it.

Ugh, whatever you're talking about,

you did not need to say it like that.

Once we figured out that that guy was a critic,

I used my power to pose as an investor

and sent him a little cash-ola in exchange for a good review.

What? Why would you do that?

Because I owe Jay.

I would've lost my finance job if he hadn't pretended to be me.

But Jay wouldn't want to get a good review that way.

It's a win-win.

Jay gets what he wants, and his hands are clean.

Thor wish he would've died with clean hands,

but alas, Thor eat onion

right before lightning strike.

Trevor, I think what you did was wrong

and we need to tell Sam.

Okay, I will not be lectured to by a Boy Scout

like I'm some kind of sleazeball.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'm gonna go spy on this bachelorette party

and see what kind of talent we're working with.

Don't.

Yeah.

To our girl, Alicia.

I would wish you the best,

but you already settled for Derrick.

So let's get drunk!

See?

Even they know Alicia can do way better than a musician.

Geez, what are you, the grandma in Coco?

Trust me.

I know from experience.

Musicians only care about themselves and their music.

When push comes to shove, they'll leave you high and dry.

Well, I guess this is goodbye.

I'll count the minutes until I see you again.

I'll count the seconds. I love you.

And I love you.

You're my everything. My entire world.

And I can't imagine my future without you.

I never saw that man again.

Mm. I'm so sorry, Alberta.

Me, too.

But that doesn't mean that all musicians are bad.

I think what Sass is saying is that he's a virgin

and so his situation is

way worse than anything that happened with you and that guy.

That's not remotely what I was saying.

Oh, okay.

Delivery for the most beautiful girl in the world.

Ooh, Derrick! Oh, my God.

Yeah, this guy seems like he's the worst.

Oh, sweetie, they're gorgeous.

Thank you. I cannot wait to marry you.

Run, Alicia. Save yourself.

I'll go put these in some water. Go, go.

I don't want to interrupt.

Have a fun weekend, but not too much fun.

All right, the flowers are kind of nice.

Hey, you left your sweatshirt at my house.

What's this now?

Just bring it when you come over this week.

Alicia's out of town Wednesday and Thursday.

Are you down for a little night sugar?

Uh-oh.

Hold on, maybe there's an innocent explanation.

Aren't you worried Alicia's gonna find out?

We're getting pretty good at keeping it secret.

Never mind. They're hooking up. All right. Thursday then.

Thursday.

I knew it! Derrick's a low-down dirty dog.

Yeah, this doesn't look good.

Oh, Sass, "night sugar" probably refers to sex.

Which is like a special hug that adults share... Please stop.

They're doing it, Sam. Alicia's fiancé is having

a torrid affair with her maid of honor.

I told you musicians were no good.

Even if that's true, I'm just not sure

what you want me to do about it.

Tell Alicia what's going on.

Ooh, do that thing you do

where you butt in where you're not wanted,

but this time you're actually wanted.

Just throwing this out there.

What if we bring back Creepy Todd?

He and Alicia did connect, and he's unlikely to cheat

due to lack of opportunity.

Alberta, I just don't know how I can get involved.

I mean, it's not like Alicia and I are super tight friends.

It's true.

Sam hinted heavily

that she would like to join them for brunch

and was met with stony silence and averted eyes.

It was sad. I think that was

just because there weren't enough bagels.

Oh, Sam.

Alberta, I understand that you care deeply about Alicia,

and I agree this is a horrible situation,

but I just don't feel comfortable getting in

the middle of things. I'm sorry.

Fine. If Sam won't get involved,

then we'll have to tell Alicia ourselves.

I agree.

And I know exactly how to get her the message,

loud and clear.

Skywriting.

No. I'm going to go into her dreams and tell her.

Yes! You can skywrite in her dreams.

Yep. That is what I meant.

Oh... I just got an email from the critic.

He wants me to fact-check the review

before he posts it online.

I'm so nervous to read it.

Didn't you already hear that it's great?

Yeah, but there's a difference between, like,

"good food and ample parking" great

and "the tikka masala saved my marriage" great.

Thor never tried tikki masala, but...

I think Jay setting bar a little too high.

Okay, here goes. This is killing me.

Jay deserves a great review, but Trevor tainted it.

This review has Trevor's taint all over it.

This is incredible.

In one sentence, he calls Mahesh a revelation and a triumph.

Holy crap, this restaurant might actually work.

There's nothing I love more than a joyful Jay,

but not when it's based on a lie.

Wait. What? "Now that we have an exemplary

"Indian fusion restaurant, it feels like the only thing

"missing from the Hudson Valley culinary scene is

an upscale breastaurant."

What's an upscale breastaurant?

It's kind of like a Hooters but...

"even classier."

Huh. Is that, like, an industry term I should know?

No. There's only one other person

I've ever heard use it.

Ugh. I didn't mean for him

to mention breastaurant in the review.

I was separately riffing about great business ideas.

Okay, this isn't great, but apparently,

Trevor bribed the critic to give you a good review.

What? Why would he do that? I think he was trying

to help you out because, you know, you were there for him

with the whole work retreat thing.

Exactly. It was a hero move.

Like when I bribed the bouncer at Surf Lodge

into letting in my cousin with the weird eye.

It was the best night of his summer.

Tell him.

He says it was a hero move.

Well, thanks a lot, Trevor.

You know, this review meant a lot to me,

but now I'll never actually know if he liked the food

or if he really was mesmerized by the ambience.

Well, there's no way he wasn't.

I mean, the sconces are undeniable!

Are you in her dreams yet?

Shh! It takes a sec.

To think this is where it all began. Mm.

CONDUCTOR [over P.A.]: Next stop: Marriage-ville.

Mm, you hear that, honey? We're almost there.

♪ Not so fast, this guy's not being true ♪

♪ The real deal is ♪

♪ Derrick's cheating on you ♪

What?

♪ About this marriage you should be afraids ♪

♪ 'Cause Derrick is doing it ♪

♪ With one of your ♪

♪ Bridesmaids. ♪

That is not a good song.

Look, when you can enter people's dreams,

then you can criticize.

Hey.

What are you two doing in here?

Sam, this is highly inappropriate.

You're breaking into a guest's room

in the middle of the night.

I heard you singing.

Just stop it. Get out of her dreams.

Sam?

Wh-What time is it?

Um...

2:18 a.m.

You asked for a wake-up call, right?

- What? No. - Okay.

Is this officially snooze, or are you hitting stop?

Can you please get out of my room?

Yep. Going.

Jazmin,

I got to talk to you. What's wrong?

No. Jazmin's the last person you should be talking to.

She's the other woman.

I had a dream that Derrick was cheating on me.

No.

Like you don't know, lady.

Oh, she's good.

Did the dream get into who he was cheating with?

She asks guiltily.

One of the bridesmaids. Look,

I know you put a lot of stock in dreams and stuff,

but you have to know, my brother loves you.

He's not a cheater.

Oh, Derrick is her brother.

Oh, no. Uh, I-I mean, good, but... oh, no.

I want to believe you.

I just don't know.

I mean, I was already thinking this whole thing

was too good to be true.

Maybe it's a sign.

Maybe this marriage is a mistake.

Leesh, slow down. You're spinning out.

I got to go think.

Hold on. Her brother?

What about all the "night sugar" talk?

What about Night Sugar?

Don't tell me what happens in the latest episode.

I haven't seen it yet.

Night Sugar is a show? Mm, it's a guilty pleasure.

It concerns a family candy dynasty.

It's sort of like Succession

meets Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,

except everybody's hot. So, we ruined

a woman's engagement because her fiancé

was watching crappy TV with his sister?

Oh, I can't believe this.

What did I do?

At least Derrick's not doing it with anyone.

Oh, Sass, "doing it" is another term

for two adults sharing a special hug.

I hate this.

Hey, Alberta, just checking on you.

Hetty told me what happened.

You mean how I ruined Alicia's marriage

before it even got started?

"Ruined" is strong.

Placed in jeopardy through gross misconduct.

I got this one, Hetty.

No, she's right.

I got carried away with this idea

that musicians can't be trusted.

That's because you were hurt by a musician.

That's not exactly true.

Don't forget me.

I could never.

New York City, here I come!

So, you were the musician who hurt someone.

Yes.

We were engaged,

but then I got caught up chasing my dreams,

and I never looked back.

Well, you were so young, Alberta.

I broke a good man's heart, and I've never forgiven myself.

I've been carrying that guilt for a hundred years.

Things don't always work out as planned.

Well, regardless, I took that guilt

and dumped it on Derrick and Alicia.

And now, from beyond the grave, I've ruined another engagement.

Here's the good news:

you have four seasons of Night Sugar to catch up on.

I really envy her. It's delectable.

Hey, thanks for meeting with me, Ron.

I just wanted to apologize.

I think one of my investors got out a little over his skis.

And if he had spoken to me before reaching out to you,

I'd have told him not to offer you the bribe.

Mm, right. Your investor.

Look, if you're asking for the money back,

I've already spent it

on a pretty spicy weekend with my girlfriend in the Poconos.

Poconos?

That was Cabo money at least.

Funny story, when I was alive,

you know what we thought was on the other side of the Poconos?

China.

I don't want the money back. It's just that...

the bribe was a mistake.

I'm asking for a do-over review.

Mm, that's not really how we do things

in the world of restaurant reviews.

Oh, of course. Ron is suddenly a fountain of integrity.

I don't want an unearned review.

I want you to write about your authentic experience,

even if there's some things you didn't like.

Fine.

I got to say, in all my years of doing this,

you're probably the most honest guy

I've ever accepted a bribe from.

Eh, it's middling praise, but praise.

But...

I just want you to know

that I really do think you were onto something.

The Hudson Valley

truly could use an upscale breastaurant.

Yes. See?

Thank you, Ron. And...

it should be called Mountains of the Valley.

Okay. We are investing in that.

Oh, come on, Alicia, and fall asleep already

so Sass can go into your dreams and fix this.

And to ensure that tonight's striptease

goes off without a hitch.

Not that that's the most important concern right now.

I just think it's very unlikely that she's gonna take

a nap right after she finishes packing.

It's just a very weird thing to do.

It could happen.

Is that a yawn?

It kind of looked like a yawn.

I don't think so. She just downed a cold brew

20 minutes ago.

I know my ghost power must seem godlike compared to yours,

but I don't stand a chance against cold brew.

But when she's all packed up, she's gonna leave

and end her engagement, and it will all be my fault.

Really? Nothing?

No one's gonna jump in

with some encouragement?

I'll try.

Great summary. Devastating in its accuracy.

I just don't know if he's cheating or not.

I wish there was some sort of sign.

Ooh, should I get Trevor? Maybe he could text her or something.

Oh, we don't have time for that.

I got this.

What is that?

You can't ask for a sign and then be surprised by a sign.

Alberta? Is that you?

This is incredible.

So, does this humming mean that he is cheating or not?

Seriously?

Sort of on her for not asking a more clear question,

but nevertheless, here we are.

Quick, hum a lullaby, and once she dozes off,

then I can tag in. I told you, I got this.

Oh, what is this? I recognize this.

♪ I know for certain the one I love ♪

♪ I'm through with flirting ♪

♪ It's you that I'm thinking of ♪

♪ Ain't misbehaving. ♪

So he's not cheating.

Oh, thanks, Alberta.

Anytime.

♪ I don't stay out late ♪

♪ Don't care to go ♪

♪ I'm home about 8:00 ♪

♪ Just me and my radio ♪

♪ Ain't misbehaving ♪

♪ Saving my love ♪

♪ For you. ♪

Oh, I did it.

Take that, everyone.

Berty's power saved the day.

Cold brew ain't got nothing on me. Ha!

And the striptease is saved.

A-As is the marriage. Huzzah!

What on Earth are we doing out here, Samantha?

The latest episode of Night Sugar starts in five minutes.

We've got to find out who pushed Dmitri into that vat of caramel.

I think you'll be very happy with what I have planned.

Oh, and Alberta, I did some digging,

and I found Walter's obituary.

Oh, no, did he die of heartbreak

when he realized I wasn't coming back?

"Walter Boyd, 84, died peacefully in his home

surrounded by loved ones."

Aww, that's nice.

He lived to be 84? What was he, a sorcerer?

“He is survived by five children,

16 grandchildren and his loving wife Osceola."

Only one wife? That's so sad.

See, Alberta?

He went on to have a pretty happy life.

Wait a minute. Osceola Buford?

That was my best friend. Oh, Walter, you snake.

But good for him. Thank you, Sam.

Ooh!

Right on time.

Hey, is it just me or is the humidity rising?

What? Yep.

The barometer's getting low.

Okay, what the hell are you talking about, Sam?

I'm talking about that.

Is that a bird?

It's a plane.

No. It's a stripper.

♪ It's raining men!

♪ Hallelujah! ♪

Did you hire that stripper

to parachute into my bachelorette party?

Yes, I did.

He said it's called the "It's Raining Men" package.

He's getting pretty close. Shouldn't he open his chute?

I think that he's delaying it for dramatic effect.

Uh, he's cutting it kind of close, isn't he?

Oh, my God.

Guys, the review's up.

What does it say, Chef?

"Innovative...

"surprising in the all the best ways...

a game changer."

He barely changed a word. He loved it.

Yes. See?

It all works out.

What the heck was that?

Oh, my God.

Crikey. You guys see that?

That was gnarly.

Can't believe I survived.

Dude.

You didn't.

Oh.

Bugger.

That makes sense. Yeah.

Captioning sponsored by CBS

and TOYOTA.

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org