Original subtitles

(bell rings)

Downloaded from YTS.MX

- [Voiceover] The jangling and the rangling

of the bells, bells, bells.

Poe was such a nutcase, dude.

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

(tapping)

Bells.

(clicking)

- Hey, salud. (clinking)

Mon frere.

(slurping) (satisfied vocalizations)

Fuck yeah, dude.

Two more months and this old shit burger's

in the fuckin' can, man.

(excited whooping) (coughing)

- Like a 6th grade function.

8th grade dance.

10th grade luau.

Last year's prom.

- [Guy In Hat] (sighs) I can't wait

to be outta this fuckin' prison, man.

Fuckin' high school.

(birds chirp)

(alarm buzzes)

(sighs and groans)

(sighs heavily)

- Good morning, daddy.

How you feelin'?

- I'm feelin' fantastic.

And good mornin' right back at you,

my little fresh breath of sunshine. (smooches)

Up and at 'em, kid, you got a huge day ahead of you.

- [Brunette Girl] (sighs) Take it easy, dad.

- Fuckin', do you think we'll even be remembered, man?

Do you think the fuckin' kids will still look up to us?

Talk about us when we're fuckin' done with this shit, man?

- Yeah.

I mean, it depends,

but I think it's gonna be kinda like Boozer.

You know?

Like, we love Boozer.

But the kids have no idea he even exists.

- [Guy In Hat] So we're like Boozer style now.

- [Dark Haired Guy] Dude, we are like the Boozers

of our generation.

- Come on, hun, it's a glorious day.

New school, new friends, new life.

- New fuckin' identity?

- Stop being so naked.

Throw on some clothes

and be down at the breakfast table in 15.

(door clicks shut)

(sighs)

- I need a steady fuckin' girlfriend, man.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- [Guy In Hat] Yeah, dude. - [Dark Haired Guy] Whoa.

You

be careful.

That's a dangerous, dangerous thing to say.

- I need steady pussy, dude.

- Dude.

(negative groaning) - Yeah, dude.

(negative groaning) Fuck yeah.

- How many more we got 'til 1t class?

- We've got probably

about six, six, six.

(dark haired guy chuckles)

- The number of the beast.

- That's what I'm talkin' about, dog.

- Oh, the beast.

- Salud. (cans clink)

("Blow Off My Dick" by Andre Legacy)

* Yo

* Broke from the start

* Broken heart

* Broken car

* Almost broke her jaw

* Bitch talked shit

* So I smoked her dog

* With coleslaw

* I told ya'll

* I'm stupid

* Popping quaaludes in the prelude

* With Lupe

* Pink Ugg boots, so cute

* Gold tooth

* Nothing but the truth

* Blow off my dick

* Blow blow off my dick

* Blow off my dick

* Blow blow off my dick

* Mind on the honeys

* Hand on the loot

* Finger in the cooch

* Through her Juicy sweatsuit

* We could grapple like jiu-jitsu

* Crack you open like a Snapple

* It's split like a cranapple

* Asshole

* The man's an animal

* Eat my meat while I lick your cantaloupe

* I got the antidote

* Drink the venom

* Bite the butt cheek through the denim

* Charge you for my dentist

* Fuck it

* I'll charge you for rent, bitch

* I'm the landlord

* You the tenant

* And now you gone girl

* You're gay, admit it

* So get your girlfriend

* And get with it

* Tell her to get over here

* Get some beer in that lowered Civic

* And sniff blow off my dick

* Blow off my dick

* Blow blow off my dick

* Blow off my dick

* Blow blow off my dick

* Blow off my dick

* Blow-blow off my dick

* Blow off my dick

* Blow-blow off my dick

* Chop it up

* I got the stuff

* Go tell your pops you're in Hollywood

* It's all hood

* Let me show you the goods

* What, girl

(sighs)

- Good morning, class.

- [Voiceover] Good morning, Mr. Mark.

- Well, well, well, seniors.

Enjoy this time, people.

Sure, you can all whine right now if you'd like,

but allow me to be the 1st one to tell you that

sexually transmitted diseases,

crack cocaine, automatic weapons,

peer pressure and (chuckles)

getting into a decent college,

it's nothing

compared to the virtual hell that's gonna hit you

when you step into the real world as full grown adults.

Anyway.

(sighs)

I understand that we have someone new

in our class this morning.

So, so late in the semester.

Huh, here we are.

Very interesting.

Would you please stand up and tell us your name?

- I'm Mandy Meyers.

- Welcome to Las Angeles.

I'm sure you'll prove to be a fine,

(someone whistles) fine asset

to our classroom.

(clicking) (door creaks)

Ah, of course, Miss Jacobs.

So nice of you to actually join us today.

- Hi, Mr. Mark.

Sorry.

School parking was a total fucking bitch this morning.

- (giggles) Hey, Jenny, isn't campus parking assigned?

(laughs obnoxiously)

- Yes.

- Can you just sit down, Miss Jacobs.

So we can continue on with today's lesson.

- As if I've got so many fucking other options.

Mr. Shit For Brains.

(laughing) - [Voiceover] Girl.

(sighing)

- I'm Jini Jacobs.

Who the hell are you?

- [Guy In Hat] Yo, did you see that new chick yet?

- No.

- Yeah, dude, I haven't fuckin' met her,

but she's fuckin' piping hot

off the mother fuckin' press, dude.

- [Dark Haired Guy] Yeah? - [Guy In Hat] For real.

Yeah, dude.

I fuckin' heard that she was in, like,

every advanced class that there is in this fuckin' school.

She's some kinda academic genius or some shit.

- Shit, really?

Straight A's?

- Yeah, yeah, she's probably a full-blown fuckin' prude.

But--

- Oh, no shit.

- Yeah.

- Why does life always have to be so stereotypical.

- I know, brother.

I know, I know.

But fuck, man, probably if anyone's got a shot at it,

you probably do, right?

I mean, that's your type of chick, baby.

The smart pretty girls, they wanna change you, you know.

They want a fuckin' you, you motherfucker.

(dark haired guy laughs) You know what I'm sayin'.

- You're right.

Smart chicks do like me.

Oh, sweet honey hole of God.

(upbeat energetic music)

Oh God, she's with fuckin'...

- Hello, jerk-offs.

- [Both] Hi.

- Who are those guys?

They're kinda cute.

- (groans) The one on the left is Ferrat.

Like the animal. (Mandy laughs)

His real name is Richard Barret.

And the other is Andy Wasilewski.

(Mandy vocalizes intrigue)

They're both slackers,

and definitely not cute once you get to know them.

- Oh.

- All those two do is get loaded, jack off,

and try to put their dicks

in girls that don't know any better.

They're entirely unreliable, excessively immature,

and just all and all, horrible boyfriend material.

Basically just losers with no futures.

- Hey, Jini.

Who's this?

New, uh,

friend?

- Well, would we be sitting together if she wasn't?

Jenna, this is Mandy.

Mandy, Jenna.

- Hi.

- So, what sky did you just fall out of, Mandy?

- I'm actually from DC.

- The fuck is that?

- It's our nation's capital, you retarded fucking idiot.

(whistle blows)

- [Ferrat] There it is, fuck yeah, dude.

- [Andy] Oh. - [Ferrat] Uh-oh.

- [Andy] Oh. - [Ferrat] Oh shit.

(loud groaning) Oh shit, oh shit.

(thudding) (grunting)

(growling)

What's up, fella?

Save me some of the steroids and shit.

Nutty F in the house, what's up, dog?

- What is goin' on, boys, how's it going?

You know, just fuckin' tossin' the pigskin,

floggin' the bird, fuckin' your mothers a little bit.

- Oh hey, my mother's dead, asshole, that shit's

not funny, dude. - [Player] Shut the fuck up,

dude, she's not fucking dead. - [Ferrat] That's

not fuckin' funny. - [Player] You're a liar.

- Hey, what the fuck are you doin' out here so early, man?

There's like four people on the field.

- I know, I know, it fuckin' sucks.

I mean, post season's almost over and it's a clincher.

I mean, my college future is at stake, you know.

So what can I do but show up to practice

a little extra early, score some touchdowns,

and suck off Coach Thieson?

- Fuck yeah, dude.

You're such a fuckin' squid and I love it, dog.

(whistle blows) - [Voiceover] Hey, Fouler.

- You know I love it.

- Get your fag ass over here

and away from those goddamn derelicts.

(mocking groaning)

Wasilewski, is that you, you fuckin' cum guzzler?

You stay away from my players 'til the season's over

or I'll rip your puny little cock in half.

- [Andy] Fuck you. - [Ferrat] Ouch.

- [Andy] Fuck you, too, Thieson.

- Fuck you triple time, you fuckin' cum guzzler.

(laughter) (goofy vocalizations)

Get off the field.

- Look, look, look, boys, gimme a call tomorrow.

If there's no parties this weekend,

we'll barbie at the beach, all right?

- Word, all right, ten-hut. - [Ferrat] Ten-hut.

- What are you doin' with those faggots?

(taunting vocalizations) Cock smokers.

Rump rangers.

(taunting vocalizations) Go back to Queer Street.

Homosexuals everywhere you go.

Goddamnit.

(knocking) ("No Way" by The Adolescents)

- [Ferrat] Yo, Boozie-A.

(dog barking) Oh fuck, dude.

* No way - [Ferrat] Oh fuck.

Oh my god, dude.

- (laughs) Holy shit, what's up, guys?

- What the fuck, dude?

Is everything okay, dude?

- I guess fuckin' school's out already, huh?

- [Andy] 3 o'clock, dude.

- [Ferrat] Is this shit Okay?

- No shit.

- [Ferrat] Did you light somethin' on fire in there?

- Dude, I'm fuckin' okay.

- You're always on fire, Boozer.

I'm so happy to see you, my friend.

I'm so happy to see you.

- Look at you, prepared.

- Oh, you know, he just knows how to fuckin'

(Andy laughs)

- So, what's new, dogs?

- [Ferrat] You know, just fuckin'--

- Waitin' to graduate.

- So,

are you guys hitting anything new?

- Fuckin' not really.

- Pretty dry out there, bro, to be honest.

But there's this new fuckin' chick at our school

who just came in outta nowhere, last minute style.

Fuckin', I don't know, she's pretty hot, right?

- Yeah, dude, she's pretty solid.

(Boozer laughs)

- Classic.

- Fuckin', we don't know what her deal is though, dude.

She could be a fuckin' total prude.

She's in all the fuckin' honors classes and shit, so.

I don't know, hard to tell.

What do you think, Boozie, what does that tell us?

- I don't know, dude.

Could be a good thing.

New girl in a new school in a new city.

She's gonna wanna let loose her goose.

- Never thought about that.

- [Boozer] Yeah.

- You wanna?

- Can we buy some

weed?

- Weed.

We want some weed.

(chuckling) Do you have any weed?

I would like it if you'd give me weed.

(laughing) - [Boozer] Well, yeah, dogs.

- [Andy] If you're runnin' low--

- (laughs) No, dogs, I got pounds, I got pounds. (chuckles)

Of course, what do you guys want?

- [Andy] A quarter?

(Ferrat laughs loudly)

- [Ferrat] Yeah, maybe a 1/2, right?

* No way, no way, no way, no way, no way *

(refreshed sigh)

- And guess what, dogs.

My parents are leaving for the weekend

and they're giving me the house.

If you guys get some girls over,

I'll throw a big old fuckin' Boozer Bash.

- Fuck yeah, dude.

- So how was your 1st day of school, dear?

- It was all right.

- Did you meet anyone interesting?

- Kind of.

I went to the mall after school with a couple of girls.

They're really different from my friends in DC.

But really cool.

LA style.

- Do you think you can handle all of your classes?

Don't forget, your school happens to be

one of the top public schools

in the greater Las Angeles area.

I'm sure the workload must be tremendous.

- You know, are you having a nervous breakdown?

"Your school happens to be one of the top public schools

"in the greater Las Angeles area."

Everything'll be fine.

- And that's exactly what I keep telling you mother.

- Mm-hmm.

(cell phone rings)

- Hello?

- Hey, girl, what's up?

Okay, so I just got word of a big party tomorrow night.

It's at some guy named Boozer's house.

(sighs)

You rolling with us or what?

- Yeah, sure.

That'd be great. ("Weather Girl")

* You're an uptown falling down

* West end girl trying to see yourself

* Running in a number one

* Shoot 'em up

* Race to edge of the world

* To the edge of the world

* Knocking down

* Waking up

* You're a breaking girl

* Hearts stop and seize

* Making love in the weather

* Making moves together

* Staying close forever

* Riding in our cars

* From the moon to Mars

* Everyday, every night

* Becomes a thousand hours

* Come and follow you

* Follow down to excess

* Return to righteousness

* Dancing late at night

* Hunting high and low

* With your pretty pink bow

(coughing) * Weather girl

* Where did you go

- (groans) God, my parents are such losers.

Just as I was about to step out the door,

they actually sat me down to have this big talk with me

about parental guidance

and all that good judgement bullshit.

- You know, my parents are even more pathetic than yours.

They, like, pulled the same shit on me last weekend,

ow, I'm talking.

(sighs) They pulled the same shit on me last weekend.

They were like,

"Hey, Jenna, we can smell the alcohol on your breath."

And I'm like, hello,

of course you can smell the alcohol on my breath.

I'm a freakin' senior in high school for Christ's sake.

- Yeah, I mean, what do they expect?

Sometimes I just wanna kill them.

("Bounce" by MSTRKRFT) * Kid Boogaloo, Kid Boogaloo

* Master Craft, Master Craft

- Ode to you, you two jizzy faggots.

Tiffany, you know coleisms.

You'll be playin' Beethoven on my skin flute tonight.

(Tiffany laughs)

- [Both] Cheers. (glasses clink)

- [Guy in Red] Cheers. - [Tiffany] Cheers.

* All I do is party

* Ha, ha, ha, ha

* All I do is party

(groans)

- Okay then, Bill.

You beautiful piece of shit.

- Watch out, Tiffany, you fuck my boyfriend,

and I'll fuck yours.

Pathetic lush.

- Lick my crevice, Jini fucking Jacobs.

Lick my fucking crevice.

- Whatever, bitch.

- You made it, baby.

(excited groaning)

- Mandy, this is Bill.

Bill, this is my new best friend, Mandy Meyers.

- Welcome to McDermott High.

Quite fuckin' possible the most awesome high school

in the entire planet.

I'm all-state running back.

You need to know my name's Bill.

Bill Beauchanon.

- Bill The Thrill, yeah.

- Boom.

- [Blonde Dude] Baby.

- It's very nice to meet you, Bill.

- Likewise.

- Hi, Mandy.

My real name's Thomas, but everyone calls me Tommy.

- I'm Mandy.

- It's nice to meet you.

Dude.

- Yeah, Mandy, that's Tommy.

And, over there, that's Chubs.

Hey, you drunk yet, you fat shit?

(slapping)

- Whoa.

- [Ferrat] Fuck yeah, dude.

- [Andy] Hey man.

- [Ferrat] Yo, where all you girls at, bro?

- That's just what the doctor ordered knockin',

my old friends.

- That's what I'm talkin' about.

- [Andy] Hey.

- Hey, come on in, ladies.

- [Andy] Erika.

- Hey, Andy. (giggles)

- I'm sure you remember Ferrat.

- Yeah, what's up?

- And this is Boozer.

- [Erika] Hey.

- How you doin', Erika?

- [Boozer] Hello, ladies. - [Andy] This is his party.

His house.

- [Boozer] Please feel free to make a drink.

Any time.

- Boozer, Erika, Ginger, Ilene.

- Hi.

- So, you girls like to smoke pot and shit?

- Pot?

You mean like marijuana?

- [Ferrat] Yeah. - [Ginger] Yeah.

- [Ferrat] Word. - [Ginger] Yeah, we do.

You know, on special occasions and stuff.

- [Ferrat] Dude, I feel that, I feel that.

I'll roll one, all right.

- Hey, please, you know, make yourselves completely at home.

Take a load off.

- [Ferrat] So do you want it, is this a special occasion?

Are we special enough for you?

- [Ginger] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've never out of a bong, but--

- You've never out of a bong?

Here, it's really easy. - [Ginger] Okay.

- [Ferrat] I'll show you how.

- Just take it. - Put that on.

I'll light it for you.

(sniffing)

(satisfied sighing)

- Fuck.

(sniffing)

(sighing)

- Now I wanna fuck.

- Yeah, let's go to the bedroom.

(Jini groans)

Actually, I got a better idea.

- What?

- I fuck you right here in this shit hole of a bathroom.

- (shrieks) My ass is gonna freeze on the tile.

- Exactly.

You're gonna scream, bitch.

(heavy breathing)

(Jini moans)

(Bill growls)

- That was really, really fun.

(Andy exhales deeply)

(Andy laughs)

Your pussy feels so good.

It's literally ridiculous.

(Erika giggles)

- Thanks.

My little pot of gold.

(thoughtful groaning) - Little pot of gold, indeed.

(Erika giggles)

Please, can I have some more?

(both laugh)

- Promise me something?

- Yeah, what?

(Erika sighs)

- Please don't tell my older sister that I fucked you.

- Who's your sister?

- Jini Jacobs.

- What?

- So.

- What's up?

(smooching)

- What's wrong?

- Nothing.

- Don't you like me?

- Sure, I think I like you.

But the truth is I sometimes really know you.

- Well, then why in tarnation did you come out here with me?

I mean, to smell the jacarandas?

("Candy Castle" by Glass Candy)

- Smokin's the best, dude.

Especially when it's like a big,

big, big, big fat joint.

Bigger the better.

- Yeah, the bigger the better.

- The bigger the better.

(Jenna laughs loudly)

- [Voiceover] Wanna go to the bed?

- And we're on it, you know.

They're drinkin' and I go up to my fuckin' room,

and I'm like, fuck you guys, I'm fucking toasted,

exhausted, shit, you know.

(laughs coldly)

Thank you, whatever.

Whoa.

- You wanna hear somethin' weird, man?

- Yeah, what up, bro?

- Life is a (mumbles), don't care, fool.

Don't kid you, yeah.

- Little baby Erika is actually little baby Jacobs.

(Ferrat chuckles)

- That's so weird, dude.

They're like polar opposites.

- I know.

Erika's so fuckin' cool.

And Jini's just, like, this future gold digging whore.

- [Ferrat] Maybe our journey shall take us elsewhere.

Or we can just stay awhile and--

- Dude.

What's she doing here by herself?

- I think that some of us is about to find out

how much of a prude she is.

* Afraid to die alone

* Like diamonds form from pieces of coal *

- Hey, guys.

- What's up?

- Miss Meyers, what a pleasant surprise.

- Mr. Wasilewski.

How do you know my name?

- I have ears.

How did you know mine?

- I have ears, too.

- Word.

- Andrew.

Boozer.

How you bastards doin' tonight?

- Not bad.

- Pretty decent.

- All right.

Well, tell Boozer we had a blast and,

you know, make sure to let us know about the next one.

- Okay.

- I'll see you guys later.

- Sure hope so.

- Please tell me Tommy's not already on that shit, dog.

- That's sure what it looks like.

- (howls) Lord, he is dumb motherfucker.

(Andy chuckles)

- Yeah, but so are we, dude.

Oh, so are fuckin' we. (laughs)

- Fuck yeah, true that, homes.

(Andy laughs)

Fuckin' true that.

Fuck yeah, dude.

("Too Fake" by Hockey) * Well, I'll do anything

* That I'm told to

* I even mean it if I'm supposed to

* Lead me on a little

* I'll go for broke

* Lead me on some more

* I go for the big joke

* Everybody's watchin'

* Oh, but nobody cares, no

* Oh wait, does it go (electronic beep)

- [Erika] Hey, Andy, it's Erika from the party last night.

I was just wonderin' what you guys

were up to this afternoon.

Me and my girlfriends were thinkin'

about goin' to the football game.

So, give me a-- (electronic beep)

* Oh wait, does it go

* Nobody's watchin'

* But everybody cares

- Hi.

Yeah, could I please get the number for Mandy Meyers

of Parkway?

(phone rings) ("Candy Castle")

* Use your pressure

- Hello?

* This is your magic tool

- Hello?

* To form a precious jewel

* Come on, come on

- Hello?

* Come on, come on

Hello?

(phone clicks shut)

Okay.

("Too Fake" by Hockey)

- [Voiceover] Get up.

* I'll go to church

* If I'm expected to

* I'll be a lost soul

* If they need examples to use

* I could stay forever or leave right now

* It's your call either way

* It's time to use my life

* For myself

* Most people just won't tell you that

* I'm gonna use my life

* For someone else

- [Tommy] Gotcha! (Mandy gasps)

- Oh my god.

You scared the shit outta me.

- Where you headed next?

- Ethics.

- Can I walk ya?

- You can do whatever you want.

(bell rings)

(giggling)

- Are you gonna be all right, dude?

- Yeah, dude, are you kidding me?

- All right, all right.

I wanted to make sure you're not freakin' out.

I wrote Mandy Meyers a love letter.

- I don't wanna be the dick here,

but didn't you see her fuckin' leave with Tommy

at Boozer's party last night there?

- Ah, dude, come on now, we all make mistakes.

- Well, word, dude.

What the fuck did you write her in this love letter?

- Nothin' really.

Just a bunch of philosophical psycho love babble.

I've been calling her, too, dude.

Just fuckin' hanging up.

Paralyzed by fears of rejection.

It's really weird.

This is the 1st time I've felt anything really for a girl

since fuckin' junior high.

Puppy love days.

- Fuckin' wow, dude.

I mean, she, you know, fuckin' obviously

is Jini's new ultra best friend and everything, so.

(slurping)

You know, that complicates things.

But this fuckin' Mandy chick

obviously would really dig you, dude.

You know, maybe under fuckin' different circumstances,

but you know.

- I know, dude.

(sighing)

- Well, word, you still gonna go after her?

- I don't know if I'm gonna get her,

but I at least, I gotta try and get her.

- Maybe she's lookin' for a fuckin' vacation, you know.

- Yeah.

Like a permanent vacation?

- Fuck yeah, dude.

(loud thudding) (giggling)

- What's up, fellas?

- Ten-hut.

Go Eagles.

Eagle pride, yeah.

- [Fouler] Wow, that was beautiful, man.

- [Andy] Nice, dude.

- [Ferrat] Beware of the pool.

(spitting)

- Oh, oh fuck.

You're like a frickin' monkey.

- Get away from Constable.

(laughing)

Here you go.

- [Ferrat] One.

- (impressed vocalization) Look at you.

I think Thieson needs to recruit you, motherfucker.

- That's very poor aim.

(laughing) Honestly, man.

Here, try some.

- Hey.

- Hey.

What's up?

- What are you doing here so late?

It's kind of strange seeing you here

50 minutes after the last bell.

With a book. (laughs)

- Well, who says there's no surprises anymore?

All you gotta do is break some rules.

- That's a very liberating thought.

But if you break too many rules you wind up in jail.

- If we're not in jail already,

where the fuck are we?

- Purely out of curiosity,

what in life do you truly care about?

- Why do you wanna know?

- Like I said, just purely out of curiosity.

Well.

Have fun reading that book.

I'll let you get back to it.

- Yeah.

Walt Whitman. (laughs awkwardly)

Big quiz tomorrow.

Bye though.

And good luck.

With everything.

- Sayonara, Wasilewski.

- Hey.

Mandy.

Have you...

Have you had a chance to make it to the beach yet?

- No, I haven't.

- Do you wanna go with me?

- Let's go.

- Weenie Wasilewski.

Fuckin' cocksucker.

(waves lapping)

- God, it is so beautiful here.

I'm so glad I came.

It's almost alive.

- It's actually teeming life.

And infinite amounts of positive energy.

I love this place so much I can't even put it into words.

(sighs)

During the summer if we go swimming,

we'll feel high for the rest of the day

because of all the electrolytes in the ocean.

That's why dolphins are so happy.

Fuckin' love those guys.

(Mandy laughs)

- This is a little strange to say,

but this moment,

this vibe I get from you

completely contradicts everything I've heard.

- Well, what exactly have you heard?

- I guess I'll flatter you.

I've heard you only go out with freshmen,

because your maturity level is so low

that you're not left with much of a choice.

(Andy sighs)

They're the only ones naive enough to put up with you.

- Oh, really?

- Yeah.

- That's not 100% untrue.

But I was hoping for something a little more subtle.

(Mandy laughs)

- Yeah, I guess that's pretty bad.

- Then why are you here?

- Well, one reason I'm here

is because you write beautiful love letters.

(laughs)

- How did you know it was me?

- Just a hunch.

As they say in the movies.

(waves crashing) (seagulls squawking)

It's getting really chilly.

- I know.

I'm freezing, too.

Want to take a breather over by those rocks?

Hike back up after?

- Yeah.

(Andy sighs exaggeratedly)

(Mandy sighs)

- Seems like I just blinked and it got dark out.

(Andy chuckles)

Are we safe here?

- Why do girls always get scared when they're alone?

- That's not true.

Us girls can do a lot of things guys can't do.

- Right, right.

Like give birth?

- Oh yeah.

Yeah, something like that, you male chauvinist pig.

(Andy laughs)

- Sorry.

Sorry, that was-- (Mandy laughs)

That was very chauvinistic of me.

- Mm-hmm, you should apologize, Wasilewski.

- I apologize.

- Oh, okay.

Oh. (coughs)

(vocalizes disapproval)

Okay, all right.

(exhales deeply)

(Andy laughs)

(Mandy coughs) (Andy chuckles)

- I think I'm buzzed.

- (laughs) That little bit put ya under?

- So, I'm a nerd.

(laughs softly)

("Punching In A Dream" by The Naked and Famous)

(music grows louder)

* All the lights go down as I crawl into the spaces

* If I died on the screens

* Life tearing at the seams

* Way-yay-yay-yay-yay

* I don't ever wanna be here

* Like punching in a dream

* Breathing life into my nightmare *

- Hey ladies.

- Mandy, where were you last night?

I called your cell like 11 time, no return phone call.

What's up with that bullshit?

- Sorry.

- Oh, were you doing some undercover?

Or shall I say, under the covers with Tommy?

- Actually, I was at the beach with Andy Wasilewski.

- What?

- You've got to be shitting us.

What did you do with him?

- I guess nothing I wanna tell you two about.

- Look, I already told you,

the summer before 9th grade, he de-virginized Jenna.

- Jini!

That was when he was cool and played football.

- Oh, come on, Jenna.

Don't blame anybody but yourself for being a whore.

Mandy, if you do the same thing,

the entire school is gonna lose respect for you, too.

- Hold up, Jini, I was young back then.

I was like a small flower in a big meadow.

- Oh please, you were a little flower slut

and all the bumbe bees were fucking you silly.

- Why do you always have to be so mean?

- Look, I'm just setting some guidelines.

If Mandy's going to be hanging out with the two J's,

she's going to have to abide by some of our rules.

And learn from some of our more obvious mistakes.

Mandy, I really hope this is a one time thing.

For all our reputations' sake, whatever you did,

I really hope you didn't suck his dick.

(Mandy laughs awkwardly)

(ripping)

- Mutha fucka.

What is up, my doggy, dog.

- (laughs) What's up, dude?

- You know, just chillin', makin' beautiful art.

Check it out, this fuckin' high heel steps on her face,

right down through the dildo,

out the other side in her cooch,

so you think that she's fingering her ass.

She's actually fingering her own pussy.

It's beautiful art, dude.

What can I say, dude. - [Andy] Wow.

- [Ferrat] I have a gift.

And I have to share it with the world.

- (sighs) I gotta admit, man,

it is nice havin' a girl I like

on both a physical level and a spiritual level.

- Yeah, word, dude.

- Yeah.

- Fuck yeah.

- Are you upset about this?

- No, dude, fuckin' how could I be upset

about this shit, dude?

It's fuckin', you know,

it was just a little sudden and shit.

And, you know, I miss chillin' with you,

but fuckin', dude, so she's cool, right?

She's cool?

- Yeah, she's super cool.

And she's really smart.

She skipped a grade, she's technically only 16.

- (gasps) I love it.

You're datin' a full blown fuckin' nerd, dude.

That's fuckin' crazy, dude.

- I know, right?

- Bro.

Look, you're a fuckin' good lookin' guy.

You always have been.

And fuckin' Mandy, as fuckin' far as I can tell,

is, like, a solid chick--

- Woman.

- Oh, sorry, woman.

Anyway, as I was saying,

I'd fuckin' give up drivin' my mom's car for a month

for her to blow me, man.

- Thanks, man.

- Can I just drop some advice on you though, real style?

- Yeah.

- All right, word.

It's just that, you know,

if you fuckin' like this girl, don't fuck it up, dude.

(laughs) Just always think.

You know, 'cause that's the secret to beatin' this shit out,

you know what I mean?

'Cause fuckin' guys like you

and me got some self-destructive impulses,

you know what I'm sayin'?

And we just need to learn

how to control that shit sometimes, dog.

- Thanks, that's really good advice.

It is.

I'm gonna take it to dinner with me.

- [Ferrat] Dinner?

- Yes, Mandy is having dinner and she invited me.

And I have to meet the parents.

(Ferrat groans) (Andy laughs)

- Good luck with that shit, dog.

- So, my hands are sweaty.

- Yeah, good luck with the 1st impression and all that, man.

- [Andy] Thanks, man.

And hey, I love the mohawk, man.

- Thank you, thank you.

Yes, I'm glad you like it.

(imitates splashing) (Andy laughs)

* Feeling without touching

* Oh, feel us (knocking)

* We are laughing

- You're so late.

* With the angel clowns

- (laughs) That's so sweet.

* Oh see me, see me laugh

(door slams)

- Mandy says you're interested in literature.

Is that what you're planning on majoring in?

English?

- I'm not...

I'm not quite sure about that yet.

You know, I'm not 100% committed,

if you know what I mean.

- What do your parents do?

- My mother is living in Switzerland,

strangely enough.

And my father's an abstractionalist.

- Oh, a painter, wow.

Well, what's his name?

- Theodore Wasilewski.

- The Theodore Wasilewski?

He's very famous.

I heard he lived in the area.

- Yeah, yeah.

This area, indeed, George.

- Do you like pineapple upside-down cake?

- Yeah, it's my absolute favorite.

- Well, all right then.

Let's go get some.

- Daddy, you be good.

- Don't worry, honey.

Knowing me, I'll probably bore the kid to death.

(laughs nervously)

- I really like him.

- Really?

- Yeah, I mean, he's obviously lacking parental guidance,

but he seems really sweet.

- [Mandy] Yeah.

- He's got this vulnerable quality.

He kind of reminds me of dad when he was his age.

You know, he can stay over after dad and I go to bed,

but he can't stay over.

Okay?

- Mother, I'm not a child.

- Well, you're certainly not an adult.

- I love you.

- I love you, too.

Sometimes I just don't know what to do with myself.

You will always be my baby girl.

- We need to talk.

- About what?

- I wanna make this exclusive.

- Well, I thought that's where it was.

- Can you truly handle that?

Full blown monogamy?

- Yeah, I can handle that.

Monogamy.

This is exactly what I've always dreamed of.

And I didn't even know it.

Until I met you.

There are definitely no other girls.

- I like the sound of that.

- Yeah?

- Yeah. (laughs)

- You petty whore.

I can't believe you blatantly disobeyed my direct orders.

You and Andy are going steady like boyfriend and girlfriend?

(scoffs) What are you thinking?

Oh, please tell me you didn't already fuck him.

Did you?

- What do you think I did with him, Jini?

- Oh my fucking god.

No wonder why you've been acting so weird lately.

You have to dump him on his ass.

And that's an order, biatch.

- I won't be doing any of that.

We have a connection.

- Well, then thank God there's an answer

for anything and everything.

No matter how absurd.

"We have a connection."

You know what, I don't get you, Mandy.

You come to this school knowing nobody.

The two hottest, most popular seniors befriend you.

And you turn on us?

- I didn't turn on anyone, Jini.

- Oh, then I just guess

I don't know what's going on anymore.

Maybe it's just me.

Maybe I'm the crazy one.

You think about what you're doing

with your slutty little life.

Devise a plan for improvement and forgiveness,

and maybe, just maybe, we can be friends again.

But if you wanna embarrass yourself,

you are not taking me down with you.

This ain't DC anymore, Dorothy.

This is LA.

And it's all about who and what you know.

And I'm sorry to say, but without me,

you're not worth two shits here at Mcdermott.

So long, kiddo.

- So long, Ji-ghost.

(vocalizes disgust)

(waves crashing)

What's wrong?

- It's Saturday, you've been so distant.

(Andy sighs)

(laughs softly) Oh, I love it.

- I hoped you would.

- Come on, something is bothering you.

Tell me.

- It's nothing.

I'm perfectly fine, sweetie.

Really.

(Mandy sighs heavily)

- Good.

For a second there,

I thought you were getting a little weird about things.

Thanks for everything.

- What do you mean?

- What I mean is thanks for letting me in.

I used to live my whole life so reserved.

God, you should have met my ex boyfriend.

After the 1st time we had sex,

I couldn't get myself to ever do it again.

- Wow, seriously?

- Yeah, it was disgusting.

- Does Tommy still call?

'Cause I saw you guys together that night at Boozer's party.

- Yeah, yeah, he still calls, but I never pick up.

Ever since you and I have been together

there hasn't been a lone issue.

(chuckles softly)

This short time here in California,

believe it or not,

has been wonderful.

I'm so glad I met you.

(Andy laughs awkwardly)

- Me too.

- Weenie Wasilewski.

God, I hate that fat-headed bastard.

(sniffing)

(groaning)

Oh, I'm Wasilewski and I don't care about anything

'cause I'm gay.

Well, shit, man, just when you think he's finally out,

he suddenly sneaks through the back door

and pounds you in the ass.

- Yeah, but...

Yeah, he's a good guy.

I mean, you know, I don't think anybody

could really say they hate him.

- What the fuck, Chubs?

Why don't you suck his dick while you're at it?

I hate Weasel-ewski.

And Mandy Meyers is a slut and a whore.

How the hell does he get all these chicks anyway?

(sniffing)

(loud sniffing)

- I mean, you know, (sniffs) he's funny.

And he's cool with everyone.

Even the fags, you know, I don't know.

- What?

That's fuckin' bullshit, you fat fucker.

You know, you can stand around

and pretend like nothing's goin' on,

but I'm not gonna let this happen.

Look at me.

That pothead is not gonna ruin a great senior year

for the rest of us.

(Chubs groans) All right?

- Yeah.

(Chubs exhales deeply)

(snorting)

- All right, let's get the fuck outta here.

(sniffing)

- [Chubs] I dropped my ID card.

- Let's fucking go.

Dumb ass.

- Last time we had sex was Friday.

And I gave her my mom's diamond ring on

Saturday.

And

since then, my dick has been completely limp.

- Word.

- Yeah.

- Wow.

I can't believe you gave her your mom's ring.

That's kinda crazy.

- But my dick, dude.

That's what I'm talkin' about.

It's like a fuckin' deflated balloon.

And I'm supposed to be in my fucking sexual prime?

- Well, look, bro, a limp dick's better than no dick, right?

(laughs) Dude.

It's really no big deal.

I mean, it's just obviously, you know, new love.

Feeling insecure about things.

And you're just vulnerable.

You know?

You're trying to, like, stand in a bigger man's shoes.

That's all, man, chill out.

- Right.

Right.

- Now, my favorite era

of American literature.

A period known as the Roaring 20s.

Now, this was a time when writers,

they would pour their hearts and their souls into...

Excuse me, Mr. Wasilewski.

Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?

Are you actually masturbating in my classroom?

- (laughs awkwardly) No.

I was just checkin' my dick for somethin', dude.

I'm just makin' sure everything's okay.

- (sighs) Yeah.

Well, do me a favor

and check your dick in private next time,

ya prepubescent punk.

(door slams)

(sighs)

(groans)

(growls)

- Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

(breathes heavily)

(footsteps echo)

- Hey you.

- [Andy] Hi.

- What are you doin' out here?

- [Andy] I just got kicked outta Mr. Mark's class.

- Hmm.

Yeah, he's an asshole.

- [Andy] Yeah.

(Erika laughs softly)

- What are you doin' out here?

- I have a dentist appointment.

I'm leaving early.

You wanna...

(Andy groans)

You all right?

- Yeah. (grumbles)

- You know, I've got 15 minutes to burn

before my mom picks me up.

- Hey.

Hey, hey, hey.

Erika, Erika, (mumbles).

It's not you.

I just, I can't do this.

- Come on.

Don't be shy, Mr. President.

(sighing)

What's the matter?

Dick is so small and soft right now.

It's like a piece of warm cheese.

- A piece of warm cheese.

A piece of warm cheese?

(thudding)

Okay.

We'll see about that.

(door slams)

Shit.

(moaning)

- I want you so bad.

(moaning) Yeah.

(groaning) Yeah.

(moaning) (groaning)

- [Andy] Yeah. - [Erika] Yeah.

- [Andy] Yeah.

- (vocalizes approval) You haven't lost a thing, Lori,

you sexy little fox. (clicks tongue)

(muffled moaning) - [Erika] Fuck yeah.

- [Andy] Uh-huh, yeah.

- What the fuck is that?

(sighs) Those goddamn kids.

(pleasured sighs) (moaning)

Fucking and sucking and fucking and sucking

and fucking and sucking. (gasps)

- [Erika] Fuck me harder. - [Andy] Yeah?

- [Erika] Yes. (moaning)

Yes, yes, yes.

- [Woman] What in the hell are you doing in here?

("Black Flowers" by 999)

* After the vows were said

* The thought starts goin' 'round your head *

- Come on, Bill, hurry up.

- Shut up, faggot.

- Push that thing out.

* Crying on a shoulder (groaning)

* Everyone's saying I told you

* You should know better

* By now (Bill groans loudly)

- That's a nice piece of solid shut.

- [Chubs] Hell yeah, dude.

Let's get the fuck outta here.

* Send some black flowers for the bride

* Oh, oh, oh, oh

* Oh, oh, oh, oh

* Oh, oh, oh, oh

* Oh, oh, oh, oh

- Why, God?

Why?

(knocking)

- Hey, bro.

Who the fuck shit on your car, bro?

- [Andy] God.

God shit on my car.

- Dude, get the fuck outta there,

you depressing bitch. - [Andy] Go away.

I'm busy.

- [Ferrat] Yo, yo, yo, enough horseplay, bro.

- [Andy] Call me bro, call me bro one more time.

I will beat the shit out of you.

- Okay, all right, that's fine.

But just fuckin' get your head outta your asshole

for just two seconds.

Couple of seconds, come on.

(sighs) You've been fuckin' cryin', dude.

(sighs)

- [Andy] No, I have not.

- Dude, I just don't see any reason

for you to be so fuckin' upset about this.

You knew exactly what you were doing, you fuckin' freak.

- No, I didn't know exactly what I was doing, Ferrat.

I clearly have no self control

over even the slightest impulse.

I'm a full blown loser.

I don't even play team sports.

- Whoa, whoa, stop getting weird, bro.

Stop beatin' yourself up, dude.

You just fuckin' got cold feet, right?

And so your dick went soft.

So, then you saw Erika

and your dick got hard

for the fuckin' 1rst time in three days.

So you fucked her, and just made a mistake.

Let that shit heal over.

- That's not even a real excuse.

Because my dick went soft?

Jesus Christ.

- Dude, just try to dig deep

and see the bright side of this shit, dude.

You fuckin' got caught pluggin' a hot chick

in the girls bathroom, and you don't know, man,

Mandy might forgive you still, you know.

She might even like that shit.

- You think?

- Yeah, sure, why not, bro?

(phone rings)

(sighing)

- God damn, that's her.

- Go ahead and find out, bro.

(phone rings)

- Hello?

- [Mandy] It's me.

Just in case you haven't figured out the obvious,

fuck you, Andy.

It's over.

Goodbye.

(dial tone)

- It's all over.

It's all done.

(knocking)

- You beast.

- [Boozer] Yo, I'm comin'.

Hey, what's up, Ferrat? - [Ferrat] What's up, Boozer?

How you doin', dog? - [Boozer] I'm good, I'm good.

- [Ferrat] Fuck yeah. - [Boozer] How are you, homes?

What's up, Andy?

Dude.

Why the fuck is he wearing a ski mask over his head?

- Dude, fuckin' some chick

poured fuckin' ice-blended chino on him,

'cause he was talkin' about how he thought

she probably had a fuckin' big pussy and shit.

- Bro.

It's not like it's never happened before, homes.

(chuckling)

- Damn, dude, fuckin', it's different, dog.

Fuckin' poison spray everywhere, you know.

- Dude.

- Fucking dude.

- Poison, what the fuck are you talkin' about?

- You got any Buddha, dog?

- Yeah, like pounds.

- Fuck yeah, dude.

I think it's time for a safety meeting.

- So, bro, she was in love with you too, huh?

- Yeah, of course she was in love with me, man.

She's the only real girlfriend I've had in my entire life.

- But, you know, fuckin' serious for two whole weeks, right?

I mean, yeah, I mean, that's a fuckin' eternity

compared to most of his relationships.

- Fuckin' DC bitches, dude.

- Yeah, what's that supposed to mean, Boozer?

You got somethin' against the east coast?

- No, man, I don't, dude.

Calm down, chill out, okay.

- Okay.

- Call me fuckin' nuts,

but I think you can get this girl back.

But you gotta play it cool.

Real fuckin' cool.

- Yeah, dude, I told you.

You can totally get her back, dude.

If you want her, you know.

- What do I do?

Call her, tell her I love her?

That's--

- No, dude.

That's probably the worst fuckin' thing you can do.

You'll know whether you have a shot by early next week.

But until then, life's not gonna be fuckin' easy.

Listen carefully.

Here's five rules to live by.

1st, unless she calls you,

don't call her for at least a fuckin' week.

And even then, don't even fuckin' call her.

Scratch that shit.

2nd, avoid her at all costs, unless she sees you 1st.

3rd, dig through your wardrobe

and pick out somethin' that will cause a reaction.

An overall change in your self esteem.

4th, no masturbating, no pornography.

Cut all that shit out.

And 5th, last but not least,

fuck all cigarettes, tobacco related products,

all that shit.

Stick to the fuckin' mari-fuckin'-juana.

Healing stuff only.

("The Inch" by Peaches)

* You think that it's a cinch to get up in my ginch

* And if you've got the inch

* Then I'll treat you like a prince

* I made a few comments

* Now you're actin' intense

* I think I made you flinch

* Better give yourself a pinch

* Hey baby

* You're still a man

* Hey baby

* Hauntin' me

* Hey baby

* You're still a man

* Hey baby

- Weasel returns.

(Andy coughs) What the fuck, buddy?

I thought you were dead.

I left like 20 messages on your phone.

- Yeah.

I had a lot to think about.

A little tweaked in the head right now.

- Apparently.

What are you, the fuckin' point guard

for the polo team or somethin'?

(chuckles)

Look, Andy, I was real sorry to hear about your girl, man.

Maybe it just wasn't meant to be.

- Wasn't meant to be, man, are you fuckin' kidding me?

- Dude, I don't wanna piss on your parade or anything,

but I've been hearin' some shit around the locker room.

Tommy asked Mandy to prom.

And he's throwing this big pre-prom bash tomorrow.

Basically in Mandy's honor.

I'm sorry, you know.

("This Inch" by Peaches)

* You think that it's a cinch to get up in my ginch

* And if you've got the inch

* Then I'll treat you like a prince

* I made a few comments

* Now you're actin' intense

* I think I made you flinch

* Better give yourself a pinch

- What's up, man?

Thought you left.

- Fuck that.

Fuck that.

* You think that it's a cinch to get up in my ginch *

- Hello, slackers.

- Dipshits.

- Fuck, Jini, could you just please

leave us the fuck alone right now.

We're having a really fucked up day,

and I'm not in the mood for your bullshit right now.

- Oh, what are you two,

attached by the milk horn or something?

He gets dumped and you feel it, too?

God, you're becoming more pathetic by the millisecond.

All right, I guess I'll make this short and sweet.

- Yeah, short and sweet.

- Andy, I really don't appreciate

you reaming my little sister in the school bathroom.

Keep your dirty little dick in your pants.

Or I'll have one of my daddy's goons castrate you.

- Hey, easy on the women's lib, Jini.

You're fuckin' with boys, not girls here, okay.

- Shut up, ferret dick.

- Yeah, shut up, you ferret fucker.

- Hold this.

- Fucker.

(Ferrat mutters) (Jenna laughs)

- Oh, and Andy.

About that extremely short-lived girlfriend stint of yours,

it's completely over.

Mandy Meyers hates you.

And it's official as of five minutes ago,

she's going to prom with Tommy.

If you haven't already heard the news.

- Yeah, you fuckin' little bitches.

Just so you know, come prom night,

Mandy is gonna be sucking on Tommy's big fat meat

pole.

(engine revs)

(tires squealing)

- Ta-ta.

(tires screech into the distance)

- I said meat pole.

(mutters)

I should have said meat balls.

* Better give yourself a pinch

- What, would that be too much?

Wait up, Jini.

* You're still a man

* Hey baby

(door slams)

- All right, thanks, bro.

- I fuckin' love her, man.

As stupid as it sounds,

I think I love her more than ever.

And I need to talk to her.

Now.

- Don't call her, dude.

That's fucked up.

- Don't worry.

Fine, fine, I'm not gonna call anyone, Ferrat.

I'm finally gonna shut the fuck up.

- Dude, relax.

Fuck this shit, dude.

(sighs)

Fuck it, man, why don't you come inside, man.

We'll fuckin' kick it,

watch some fucked up shit on the internet.

You know my mom probably baked some shit

or whatever, you know.

- How 'bout you go fuck yourself, you little faggot.

- You don't talk to me like that.

All right.

You don't talk to me like that, all right.

Fuck that shit, man.

I'm fuckin' serious.

Get the fuck--

- [Andy] Go fuck yourself. - [Ferrat] Don't touch me.

- [Andy] Oh yeah? - [Ferrat] Don't fuckin'--

- [Andy] What the fuck are you gonna do?

- [Ferrat] Don't touch me. - [Andy] What the fuck

are you gonna do? - [Ferrat] What the fuck

are you gonna do, you don't know know what I'll fucking do.

(aggressive grumbling)

- [Andy] Don't fuck with me,

you little fucking - [Ferrat] Get your fucking

hands off me. - [Andy] Cunt.

- [Ferrat] Don't touch me, fucker.

- [Andy] Oh, fuck that. - [Ferrat] Don't touch me.

Don't fucking touch me. - [Andy] I don't need you.

(engine revs) * Baby

* Hauntin' me - [Ferrat] Fuck you, asshole.

What the fuck?

Don't touch me.

* Hey baby - [Ferrat] Fucking asshole.

* You're still a man

- [Ferrat] Fuckin' do that shit.

Fuckin' son of a bitch.

* Hey baby

(tires squeal) - [Ferrat] Fuck you.

* Hauntin' me - [Ferrat] Fuck you.

* Kisses too sweet

* I wanna retreat

* The touch is so soft

* I'm gonna get off

* Kisses too sweet

* I wanna retreat (phone rings)

* The touch is so soft

* I'm gonna get off

(phone rings)

- Hello?

- Hey.

Mandy,

I was just callin' to see how you're doin'.

To see if everything's okay.

- I'm fine.

I gotta go.

- Mandy.

Come on, Mandy.

Are you still there?

Come on, baby, dumpling.

(receiver clicks)

(Mandy sniffles)

Fuck.

(slurping)

(waves crashing)

(waves crashing)

(waves crashing)

(giggling) Whoa.

Fuckin' piece of shit.

- This feels amazing.

Come on.

(slapping) - Idiot.

(waves crashing)

- Don't be a brat.

- What are you gonna do?

- Dumpling, wow.

(waves crashing) (excited chatter)

- All right. (laughs)

You're asking for it.

I see how it is.

(waves crashing) (excited exclamations)

(waves crashing)

(sighs)

(sighs heavily)

(sighs)

(door creaks)

- So wait, you really wrapped that yourself?

- Yeah, I even--

- Yo, Bud Light.

It's affirmative, she's in the building.

(excited vocalizations)

What are you waitin' for, Tommy?

Go chase that wounded caribou down

and spear it with your cock.

- Make it happen.

- She's gonna go wild when she sees this.

(soft distant laughter)

- Oh hey, Tommy.

- This is for you.

I'd prefer if you open it here.

- Tommy.

That's so sweet of you.

- Yeah, and they're edible.

And so are the condoms.

And the vibrating dildo, oh, here, let me show ya.

- (laughs awkwardly) Leave that in the box.

- Oh, okay, okay.

I mean, you've just been shit on

by the school's biggest slime bag.

And you need some time to clear your head

before tonight's big bash.

I mean, I can deal with that.

- Great.

(footsteps echo)

- Dude, Tommy better sway that bitch.

'Cause I'm no (mutters), but it's somethin', man.

Look, somethin' tells me that she just ain't into him.

- Maybe the problem is that she's still in love

with you-know-who.

(thudding) (Chubs groans)

- Bullshit, Chubs.

You don't know shit bout girls, anyway.

You're a fat virgin with no cock.

- Nuh-uh.

I got head from Jenna Jeffries in 8th grade.

- Oh come on, dude.

That was before she was hot.

That was back when she had braces

and a hairy pussy, for cryin' out loud.

Look, all I'm sayin' is that

if Mandy Meyers isn't on Tommy like a fly on shit,

I'm gonna be all over that like shit on a fly.

- Yo.

- So, how'd it go, you think you got her wet?

- I think she loved it.

- All right, good.

Hopefully you'll be sprayin' those swimmers on her

by tonight.

- That's what my party's for, bro.

- Fuckin' A.

- Chubs, what happened to you?

Why are you so red?

(Chubs groans)

- [Bill] What's wrong with you, dude?

- All I know is I'm gonna be smashin' tonight.

(grunts) Yeah. (grunts)

- Dude, you look like the biggest faggot right now.

What are you doin'?

Are you seriously retarded?

- Yeah, Chub, get some, bitch.

- Hi, honey.

You're home early.

- Yeah, I took the school bus for once.

I mean, you did pay for it.

- Well, that's good.

How was school?

- It was school.

An everyday occurrence.

- Is something the matter?

- No, why would you ask that?

- Well, honey, I made your favorite.

Key lime pie.

Just give it 30 minutes to cool down.

- Thanks, mom, but I'm just really not hungry right now.

- Oh, honey, look, your friends are here.

Hi, girls, yeah, come in.

- Hi.

Pie.

- Oh.

(Jenna vocalizes pain)

(Jenna vocalizes satisfaction)

- It's so good to see you again, Mrs. Meyers.

- Well, thank you, you as well.

I'm gonna leave you girls, and I will be in my room.

Please, have some pie.

Let it cool.

- Hey girl, what up?

You sure took off fast from school today.

- Yeah, I was feelin' a little zonked today.

Just, I think I just need to be alone.

- Your mom doesn't mind?

I mean, it is prom night and shit.

- Don't worry about it.

- We can tell you're still a little down,

so, you know,

cheer up.

There's nothing attractive about the bitter beer face.

(Jenna makes negative vocalization)

- I'll survive.

- You know, we're totally not even mad at you anymore

for everything that you did.

Like hanging out with Wasi-loser and stuff.

Like, everybody makes mistakes.

(loud popping and rushing) (gasping)

- That's why we're here.

We just wanna let you know that we'll always be there

to pick you up when you fall down on your ass.

- Mm-hmm.

And even when you think we're being totally bitchy,

you just need to remember that it's all for your own good.

Do you have anything to pour this in?

- Um, I--

- You know, we can just drink it out the bottle.

- Meyers, you're coming with us to Tommy's party tonight,

whether you like it or not.

And we are not taking no for an answer.

- Certainly unexpected.

- I'm sorry.

I really am, man.

It's just--

- Shut up.

Sit down.

Have a stoke, man.

It's all good, brother.

- Did you figure out who you're goin' to prom with yet?

- Yeah, dude, I asked that girl Ginger, man.

The one from Boozer's party.

- Right on, man.

She seems like a...

she seems like a really,

really chill, well-grounded chick.

- Woman.

(chuckles)

Yo.

If you wanna come to the prom with me and Ginger,

that'd be totally chill, dude.

- I don't really feel like goin' anywhere.

Seein' Mandy with Tommy, I'll just,

I'll just feel like a dickless sloth.

You're goin' to Tommy's party?

- (exhales deeply) Yeah, I was thinkin' about it.

I mean, if that's cool with you.

- Of course.

You've gotta go to that thing.

- Are you comin'?

- No.

I think I'm just gonna stay home.

Smoke some pot.

Get drunk, watch some porn.

I haven't done that in a long time.

- (sighs heavily) Bro, it's so good to see you, man.

(slapping)

- Yeah, you too.

- I'm so sorry, dude.

- Hey.

- I know.

There.

(upbeat music)

- Ladies, welcome.

The party's just gettin' started.

- Hey, Tommy.

- Hi, Tommy.

- Bill's in the house.

He's been doin' blow (sniffs)

and drinkin' since school's been out.

- Yeah, I really don't give a fuck

what Bill's been drinking.

We're not talking right now.

- Great.

Where's Mandy?

- Don't shit your pants, Tommy, she's here.

She's been a drag all night.

Probably still in the SUV powdering her nose.

- Yeah, been a perfect little bitch.

But don't worry about it, Tommy.

She'll be coming for you, one way or another.

- Oh.

Yeah.

(excited exclamations)

- Come on, Tommy.

Get in here.

(cheering)

- [Voiceover] Tommy, Tommy, yeah.

(cheering)

- How can anyone would be that stupid?

- [Jini] I don't know. - [Jenna] You know.

(chatter)

- Yeah, I do have friends,

I have many friends, they're coming.

- [Ginger] I don't see them.

- I think he really likes me, too.

(Ferrat mumbles)

- Actually, no, no, look, it's them.

There they are.

What's up, Boozer?

How you doin', dog? - [Boozer] I'm good.

Good to see you, homes. - [Ferrat] Good to see you.

Absolutely, yo, you remember Ginger?

- [Boozer] Oh, of course.

- [Ferrat] What are you up to, man?

- [Fouler] Oh, I'm good.

- Hey, how's it goin'

- [Boozer] I'm good. - [Erika] Good to see you.

- [Ilene] Hi, Boozer. - [Boozer] Oh, Ilene.

- [Ilene] I missed you so much.

- I missed you more, baby.

- It's been so long.

- Too long.

- Do you want a drink? (Boozer vocalizes affirmation)

- Ned Fouler.

I'm Erika Jacobs.

- So I hear.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

- Pleasure meeting you as well.

- How are you doin' tonight?

- Great, how are you doin'?

- Just glad to be here.

(Erika giggles) Let me get that.

- (laughs) Yeah, I know.

Yeah, but it's gonna be fun.

It's gonna be midnight at the oasis.

I mean, that woman that introduced us,

and she said the A and the O looked similar.

- [Ginger] The oo-sis?

- Midnight at the oo-sus.

- [Ginger] That is a sign. - [Ferrat] Heck yeah.

- [Ginger] Of curse you'd think of that.

- The falling ooze.

I'll stand here like this (Ginger laughs)

just 'cause I'm such a gentleman.

I will protect you

from the trickling ooze. - [Ginger] You're so weird.

- [Ferrat] I know, I know.

- Aw, you're such a dork.

- Well, so are you, so. (Ginger laughs)

("Mirror Mirror" by Robots In Disguise)

* Mirror mirror

* Live by the

* Mirror mirror

* Die by the

* Mirror mirror

* Live by the

* Mirror mirror

* Die by the

* Mirror mirror, mirror mirror

* Mirror mirror

* Mirror mirror, mirror mirror

* Mirror mirror, mirror mirror

- Down.

(shouting)

(cheering)

* Mirror mirror

* La, la, la

* Mirror mirror

* La-la, la

* Mirror mirror

* La, la, la

* Mirror mirror

- Mandy, you made it.

- Hey, Tommy.

- Well, here, let me get you a drink.

(Mandy laughs awkwardly)

- What's wrong?

Don't you like gettin' wasted?

- I just really don't feel like it right now.

Are you okay with that?

- Come on, don't be such a bitch.

(laughing)

I mean, all my friends are here.

Oh, and besides, my parents, they paid off the po-pos.

So we can party well past the pumpkin hour.

- This is hopeless.

Thanks for everything.

I'm gonna go.

(excited vocalizations)

- So that's Wasilewski's girl.

- Yup, that's her all right.

- Yo, I'm gonna call that bastard right now.

- [Voiceover] Yes. (soft sighing)

(phone rings)

I know you're at home.

Pick up your fucking phone.

(groans) (phone rings)

(grumbles with interest)

Fuckin' weirdie whacker, fuck.

How's it goin', man?

- What's goin' on, man?

(phone rings)

- Hello.

- Yo, the motherfucker's not answering, dude.

- What's going on?

What the fuck, who's not answering?

- Who do you think, Erika?

Your bathroom buddy. (taunting vocalizations)

- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

So, what, is he coming over or not?

- [Ferrat] He's not pickin' up, so I don't know.

- Well, do you know if he's home for a fact?

- Yeah, dude, he's fuckin' home.

He's just actin' like a fuckin' pussy.

You know how he gets when he's all stressed out.

- Well, let's go ruffle his fuckin' feathers a little bit.

Come on.

- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, Boozie.

Le Booze, le Boose, le Booze.

Yo, can you stay and watch the girls for a second

while we run and get Andy?

- Yeah, dude.

Fuck yeah.

- Yo, baby, sorry, I got some important shit to do.

- I know you do.

- But I'll be back soon, okay?

- I'll be here.

- [Ferrat] Will you?

- Yeah, I'll be waiting for you.

- Word.

"LA Girl" by the Adolescents)

* I'm bored of the sleazy make-up

* You'd fuck any guy in town

- Just close your eyes and I'll be back.

* Why the hell do you hang around *

- Yo, dude.

* LA girls, you bring me down

* LA girl, LA world

- [Voiceover] Fuck yeah, fuck. - [Voiceover] Fuck yeah.

- [Voiceover] Grab my fuckin' my fuckin' ass.

- [Voiceover] Harder.

(moaning) Harder.

(groaning) (pleasures sighing)

(clacking)

(loud moaning)

- [Voiceover] I want you to come

(loud moaning) on my fuckin' face.

(sighing and moaning) I'm gonna come.

(pleasured screaming)

- Fuckin' beater.

- He's fuckin' off in his own world.

He's fuckin'--

- He's gonna go blind.

- Wait a second, I think I see somethin'.

- No way.

- There we go.

- Show your face, beater.

- [Ferrat] He's the masturbating gremlin.

- [Ned] He's glowing.

(Ferrat laughs) And that's how you know.

That's how you know.

- [Ferrat] That's how you know.

- [Ned] Yep.

- Barret, Fouler.

What's up?

- [Ferrat] What the fuck - [Ned] What the fuck

- [Ferrat] is up with you, - [Ned] is goin' on,

- [Ferrat] dude? - [Ned] Man?

- [Ferrat] I don't wanna - [Ned] What took you

- [Ferrat] even look at you. - [Ned] so long, huh?

- Well, I was in the middle of, man.

I has to finish it off.

- Oh yeah?

- Well, then fuckin' put on some dancin' shoes,

fuckin' wash yourself up, put on a new shirt.

We have reason to believe Mandy still wants you.

Felt like we had to tell you.

- I mean, how do you know though?

Did you talk to her?

- Don't.

Don't ask - [Ferrat] Dude, you fuckin',

- [Ned] stupid fuckin' questions.

- [Ferrat] Fuckin' Jini - [Ned] Just go.

- [Ferrat] and Jenna aren't chllin' with her anymore.

And fuckin', she bitched out Tommy in front of everybody.

She's waiting for you to swoop in

for the fuckin' rescue, dude.

At your disposal.

Come on, don't act like it's a decision.

- I'll be right out.

- She's wet for you.

That was easy.

- Yeah, surprisingly easy, right?

- I hate to say it,

but I definitely think he's maturing.

- (groans) Yeah.

It's that whole fuckin' girlfriend thing, dude.

- Do you think it's her?

- Fuck yeah, it's her, dude.

It's all over with me and Jini.

(sighs)

I mean, that overweighted slut thinks

she could put a leash on me like that.

No fuckin' way, bro.

I'm tired of pullin' my pud.

I want the Meyers.

Love DC, you dirty little slut.

Get ready to spread your legs and cry.

- There you are.

We've been drinking all over for you.

- Yeah, we just ran into Tommy.

And he said you're being a total bitch.

What's with that shit?

- I'm actually leaving.

I'm just tryin' get a little buzzed

so this night isn't a complete waste.

- What do you mean you're leaving?

Do you even know who the fuck we are?

- Actually, Jenna, in case you didn't notice,

I don't give a fuck.

- Fuck you, you whore.

(splashing) (Mandy gasps)

I hope your panties burn in Hell, you twisted bitch.

You.

- Yeah, fuck you, bitch.

- Mandy looks pissed.

- No, she's not, she's perfectly fine.

Watch and learn, fat fuck.

Watch and learn.

Mandy, wait, my darlin', it's me, Billy Boy.

Slow the fuck down, for cryin' out loud.

* Out of the fry pan

* Out into the fire

- What do you want?

- I don't know, I just wanna talk.

Mandy.

- Not now.

- What's your problem?

What's the big rush?

Didn't you hear me?

I said I wanna talk to you, goddamnit.

- I don't wanna talk right now.

- I don't give a fuck what you want.

You do whatever I say.

You know, I don't where you get off,

but in case you haven't realized,

I'm top dog around this bitch.

Not some crooked faggot ass pothead with a bad attitude.

- Let go of me.

- Hey.

Don't make this hard on me.

- I'm going home.

(groans) (thudding)

* Are you the one

- It's prom tonight, baby.

Get ready to scream.

- Hey, Bill.

Stop the madness, Bill.

Take a chill pill and relax and just--

(loud crack)

* Me and my girl

* Havin' a time

- Anybody else?

* On top of the world

* But I've got a secret

- That's what I thought, you feeble little idiots.

Get the fuck outta here.

* We got good music

* And you got to go

- Mandy, are you all right?

- I think so.

- Get outta here.

Go.

* All she can know

- What the fuck you doin' here, pothead?

- Felt like pickin' on a meat head for a change.

- Yeah, well, fuck off, Wasilewski.

As you can see, you're outta the picture.

You've lost your fuckin' mind.

You know what they say about southern Callie girls.

You don't lose your girlfriend, you just lose your turn.

Now it's my turn, bitch.

(spits)

(loud crack)

So, how'd you like the smell of my shit?

- That was you?

You motherfucker.

(cheering)

("Are You The One?" By The Presets)

(cracking) (thudding)

* Creepin' around

* Quiet and darkness - (mutters) homo.

* Place to be found

- You're fuckin' dead.

* Leavin' behind the noisy crowds.

(thudding) (groaning)

* It's been a while since

* You've come around

* So let's make it worth the

* Lights and the sounds

* Pills and the spills

* The drinks and the shouts

* It's turning out fine girl

(loud thud) * What it's all about

* There's just one more thing

* I gotta find out

* Before we go too far

* What I wanna know, what I wanna know

(loud grunt) (thudding)

* What I wanna know is

* Are you the

- Go get that girl.

* Are you the one

* Are you the one

- [Andy] Mandy.

Mandy, can you please just wait a second and listen to me?

- I'm going home.

- I'm a fucking idiot.

I was just afraid.

I was just afraid of commitment, and I'm not anymore.

I want a future with you.

I just lost sight of the big picture.

And I stopped thinking.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know what to do when I'm not--

- Shh, Andy.

I need to go home.

- Well, can I at least walk you?

- I don't think so.

(thunder rolls)

- I love you.

- I love you, too.

("Punkrocker" by Teddybears)

* See me drivin' down the street

* I'm bored with looking good

(thunder rolls) (lightning cracks)

* I got both hands off the wheel

* The cops are comin'

* I'm listening to the music with no fear

* You can hear it too if you're sincere

* 'Cause I'm a punk rocker, yes I am

* Well I'm a punk rocker, yes I am

* 'Cause I'm a punk rocker, yes I am

* Well I'm a punk rocker, yes I am

* I see you stagger in the street

* And you can't stay on your feet

* And you're faking in your sleep

* You wish that you were deep

* But you can't hear me laughing to myself

* If you could, you would be someone else

* 'Cause I'm a punk rocker, yes I am

* Well I'm a punk rocker, yes I am

* 'Cause I'm a punk rocker, yes I am

* Well I'm a punk rocker, yes I am

* See me die on Bleecker Street

* I'm bored with being god

* See me sneering in my car

* I'm driving to my star

* I'm listening to the music with no fear

* You can hear it too if you're sincere

* 'Cause I'm a punk rocker, yes I am

* Well I'm a punk rocker, yes I am

* 'Cause I'm a punk rocker, yes I am

* Well I'm a punk rocker, yes I am

* 'Cause I'm a punk rocker, yes I am *