Original subtitles

Red Fox, thank the moons!

The evil count and his robot vampires ambushed me!

Side note, that black hole machine's about to suck up the galaxy in six

In six seconds?

Leaping light years!

There's only one thing to do.

I think he won't save the galaxy in time, but then he does!

Um, are we still movie marathoning? Or is that the real Jupiter Jim signal?

Oh, boy.

I hope that's not wrong.

And it is.

Well, if it isn't my alien turtle ally.

A pleasure.

Alas, I was hoping my signal would bring back to me my dear friend Red Fox. You

mean the one you kidnapped, like how you kidnapped everyone else?

You're not going to kidnap us, are you?

No, of course not. Can you ever forgive me for acting like... You're forgiven.

Then it's good that you've come.

Red Fox has abandoned me and an alien invader threatens life on Earth.

I need help. One of you four must become my new sidekick. Yeah, thing.

Your Jupiter -ness. I would be honored to be your... And now I'm tearing up

here.

Sidekicks.

Guys, I get it.

When we were toddler mutant ninja turtles, we all dreamed of being J .J.'s

sidekick. But he's not a real superhero.

Remember, he's a crazy actor who thinks he's Jupiter Jim.

But, but, but, fun?

Fine. You three have your fun. But if any real crime... Okay, Mr. Jim, we are

in!

Shampoo!

Trials will begin.

Start eight, now!

Ah! Just make this start eight quick.

Huh? Whoa, Dave! The captain's chair is not for sidekicks. Though as JJ's

biggest fan, maybe you deserve to sit in it.

What's this?

What? Leo? A sidekick sitting in the captain's chair?

For shame.

Minus one space point for Boo.

Everyone starts with 50 space points.

Factor 53 wins.

He couldn't have started at zero?

Blue, minus another space point for asking questions about space points.

Now, the reason you're here.

Wow. You've got to tell me who your yarn guy is.

This is the alien I've been tracking.

Scorpion. I don't know what he's planning, but he's been spotted at the

factory and the zoo.

Let's go ahead and get this competition started so Leo can lose more points.

Trial one, weapons.

If we are to handle Scorpion's alien powers, you must be as proficient with

tech as Red Fox was.

Now, engage.

Winner gets a space point.

Ooh, give me one second. I'm getting a call.

That is what you get for playing space jet with Captain Cuckoo. Trial two,

mortal peril.

Often, I'm in danger. More often, you're in danger.

It's like living inside a Jupiter gym.

Scorpion may capture you. So show me who's got the best dreams of

so that I can fight.

By the rings of Jupiter, save me.

Save me? Pretty, pretty, pretty please?

Save me.

and I'll throw in a free month of IT support.

Look at you guys.

Fake whining over clearly fake acid.

It burns.

The sweet, bubbly acid burns.

Oh, wait. It's just soda.

Trial three.

Trial three, taking out henchmen. Because Scorpion may have minions.

Ja, drop.

Wow. you spare no expense on your training exercises.

Still silly. Just expensive, Billy.

Space points for every henchbot you take out.

Sidekick ahoy!

Ah! Oh, that's cheating!

Just preparing you for when allies suddenly become foes! Ha ha ha ha! Like

Nightthorn, plus one space point. You know I don't like to share!

Well... I've made my decision.

Probably best to let the losers down abruptly.

Agreed. Brad, you're my new sidekick.

What?

Me?

In your face!

And yours, and yours, and yours again!

What? You didn't even want the job!

That was before I won!

Raph wasn't even in the competition!

Yes, but he's red.

I'm used to red sidekicks. You wouldn't understand.

It's a red thing.

All right, Red Fox 2, let's go save the world from Scorpion.

Have you seen a man

who looks like a scorpion?

Snitches get stitches, I understand.

Come on, pal.

We know you know something.

Sidekick montages are fun!

Can you believe, Raph?

Stealing our fake sidekick job? I don't think I'm overreacting when I say he is

no longer a member of this family.

Wait! Maybe this is a test!

Sir Jupiter wants us to keep fighting to be a sidekick!

And I know exactly who can help.

That loony goofus is still obsessed with Scorpion?

those years saving the galaxy together and not a single thank you, thumbs up,

patronizing hair ruffle. That's why I left.

He's out there looking for you, you know?

Sleeping light years? Really?

I mean, whatevs. Let that hot dog find another sidekick.

Yeah, whatevs. Ah!

Did your tail just... Are you a mutant?

No. What's a mutant? Oh. So you're a yokai, then?

Uh... Yeah, I mean, no, I mean, this is just a costume.

Dude, no need for secrets here.

Whoa, you're real, Turtleman?

Real as rain, baby. Look, guys, I just want to move past this whole cosmic

kerfuffle and focus on the serious art of acting. Two minutes until you're shot

out of the space alligator's nose, Miss Fox.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must get into character before I climb into the

cannon.

I really thought that cattle alien was going to spill the beans.

Someone's following us, Redbox 2. Quick, duck into that zoo storage facility.

You mean into that creepy and poorly lit dead end with probably no exits and

where we'll be totally trapped?

Sure thing, Bob. Having fun is fun.

Gotta say, this part isn't all that fun.

You walked right into my trap.

Scorpion. Wait, this is real? You may have found my stinger bombs and vats of

acid, but you'll never foil my plan, speed freak.

You're a real alien?

Alien? No, my co -workers at the zoo locked me in the scorpion pit where I

bit by some glowy green bug.

A mutant?

Of course.

Wow, ref really whiffed on this one.

Now, once you two are blown to bits.

and your bits have dissolved in acid, I can carry out my truly evil plan of

exterminating my old co -workers and that one camel.

All my years with Red Fox, we never got trapped together.

I blame you.

Sam, how? Real sidekicks in the house.

Hold up. You made your own alien scorpion? Plus bombs and acid?

Right back.

No, no, guys, it's all real.

Dude's a mutant.

Pretty sure he's an alien.

You three, free me so I can stop the singer bombs.

Don't listen to him. This ain't a two -for -the -gym comic. You gotta defuse

bombs yourself.

I kick defusing bombs?

What is this, a luchitsu movie?

Guys,

that's right. Real acid.

Feels like it might be time to stop listening to our comic book leader and

our real leader thing?

Try to stop this!

Red Fox One?

Holy nebulous!

You come back to me!

Defeated by a band of freaks!

We can still see you. You have to move before the smoke clears.

Good grab! A million space points, old chum!

A million. I still have a chance, though, right?

I've done it again.

For the 80th time, Jupiter Jim saves the galaxy.

With the help of his sidekick, Red Fox.

Thank you, my friend.

You thanked me.

That's all I ever wanted.

Consider me no longer space mad at you.

Tough news, Turtles. The sidekick position has been refilled.

Farewell.

I guess we learned our lesson. Stay away from acting.

But if anyone is still looking for sidekick work, I am interviewing.

Pass. Minus one downing point.