Original subtitles

Got some homemade apple pie. It's still hot. I'd love a nut.

How much do I owe you, Super?

It's a dollar, Ethan.

No, I don't think I'm going to have that pie.

Thank you very much.

You probably don't like apple pie anyway.

No, no.

Mr.

Randall? Yeah.

You didn't feel it was...

during the winter.

Would you care for some coffee?

Yeah.

Two coffees, miss, please.

My name is Clayton Armstrong.

Huh?

Clayton Armstrong. My name's Clayton Armstrong.

Would you like to make $100?

What's your problem?

I'm in love.

What? I'm in love. Love.

Oh, I'll have that piece of apple pie, ma 'am.

Oh, how can you speak of food at a time like this? I'm in love.

Yeah, well, I forced myself.

Well, now, Jane and I have been planning this marriage for weeks.

Congratulations. Oh, you don't understand. I'm desperate. You see, we

and... Would you like some apple pie?

Oh, no, ma 'am. I would not.

She'll be waiting for me tonight to help her steal out of her father's house.

Well, which problem? All you need is a ladder.

Oh, no, no, no. I most certainly do need you, Mr. Randall. How's that?

Well, you see, Mr. Randall, I'm afraid of height.

Jane is the most wonderful girl, Mr. Randall. I'd do anything for her.

That is, get up on a big high ladder. You know, I even get dizzy just getting

high on a horse.

You think that's good pie, huh?

Mm -mm.

Jane's bacon put that pie to shame. I expect she's about the best cook there

around.

You lucky fella.

Oh, no, no, sir. I'm not lucky. Mm -mm.

I wish she never stepped foot in the kitchen.

Well, her father won't come right out and say it, but that's why he forbids

marriage. See, Jane's been cooking for him ever since her mother died.

There's just two things Mr. Fairweather cares about. That's Jane's cooking and

Prince, his prized stallion.

Mr.

Randall, will you help me? For $100, mister, I'll marry you off to a Texas

Longhorn steer.

Uh -huh.

Well, I'll give you $50 now and $50 after the wedding. Is she 50?

Oh, I haven't got it with me. It's over at my hotel.

Yeah.

Well, let's do it.

Armstrong! It's a father.

I warned you to stay away from my daughter.

And that includes writing.

Oh, that's just a little old bitty birthday card, sir.

Her birthday's three months off.

Jane and I love one another, sir. That's nonsense.

Marriage isn't nonsense, sir. Marrying you is.

Jane, don't feel that way.

Because you turned her head, you and your shitty ways.

I vowed to their mother that I'd take the best care of my daughters, and

Jane marry the likes of you... Thanks.

And letting Jane marry the likes of you is mighty far from the best care.

I don't want it. It's his.

Who are you, anyway?

Mr. Randall? Oh, Mr. Randall. He's gonna be my best man, sir. Over my dead body.

You mean over your stuffed stomach.

What? All you really care about is Jane's cooking.

I said it and I'm glad.

That's the last straw.

You hear me? The very last straw.

Mr. Fairweather, I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said.

Forgive me for being so rash.

Mr. Fairweather?

Mr.

He don't scare me none.

Yeah, well, he scared me.

Come on, let's go.

She said she'd signal us at 12 o 'clock.

Well, you knew that, so you...

Well, where do you think you're going?

Oh!

Armstrong! Oh, thanks, sir, will you? I am! I am!

The next one's for you. I'll give you just ten seconds to get off this

Now get out of here! You heard what I said!

Randall, you have got to help me out again.

What you need is an army friend.

But the situation has gradually grown worse.

Jane's sister delivered this note just now. Listen to this.

Dearest Clayton, I love you and want to be your wife now.

If you are a man, you will come for me today or else this is goodbye.

Yours, hopefully, Jane.

Randall, what are we going to do?

We? Listen, after last night, I'm afraid of heights now.

Oh, no.

You have got to figure some way to get Jane out of that house. What do you

suggest? Well, now, we just don't have to wait till after the wedding.

I'll pay you your $50 right now.

I have the utmost confidence in you, Randall.

So I will be at Benson's Grove at 3 o 'clock waiting for you and Jane.

What do you mean waiting for me? You come with me, pal.

Oh, no, I can't.

I forgot to tell you.

I'm afraid of guns, too.

um

Hey, Prince, come back here!

Here I am, darling.

Let's go.

This is the most romantic adventure I've ever had.

Yes, ma 'am.

You're like a storybook hero.

Uh -huh.

You rescued the damsel in distress.

Yeah, well, I'm getting paid for it as a job, see?

Oh, I understand.

Most heroes are basically modest men.

Yes, ma 'am.

You must be very lonely.

No, ma 'am.

Have you ever thought of marriage?

No, ma 'am.

Your own little wife waiting in your own little house?

A friend beside you as you travel along the road to the end of the trail?

No, ma 'am.

He comes right now.

What have you done?

This isn't Jane.

This isn't Jane.

This is her sister, Patience.

You brought me the wrong one.

But I love Jane.

Well, I love you, Clayton. Yeah, but I love Jane.

Well, I'll make you a good wife. Well, it's Jane I love.

Please, Clayton, please.

What have you done with my darling?

Well, let me be your darling, Clayton. From the very first minute I saw you,

I... You have ruined everything.

Don't blame me.

I didn't bring her. I want Jane.

Now, listen.

Ma 'am, this isn't getting us anywhere.

It might.

Yeah, well, he wants your sister.

But she isn't here.

And as they say, any port in the storm.

Well, that's not gonna work too well here.

Look, you got to get her. I paid you.

Where's your sister?

Absent.

Well, then we're just going to have to start all over again.

No! No, I won't go back to that house. I want to get married.

Papa won't let a man on the property.

Except for Papa, he's the only two -legged male I've seen in years.

Till today.

From the first minute I saw you, I knew you were the man for me.

What have you done with my Jane?

I locked her in the preserve cellar.

Go!

Yes, sir.

A real man does his own eloping.

How could I have ever been in love with you?

I'll get you.

Wait a minute.

We must hurry. My father might be home at any minute. Yeah, I just want to find

out. You got any more citrus?

No. One bread like patience is enough.

It's a boy.

What kind of a life is that for a man?

Hmm?

Belty, honey.

Did you see that poor boy? He was as thin as a rail.

He needs a home.

Huh?

Who? Doesn't he?

Who? That Josh Randall.

He needs the looking after from a loving wife.

Jane!

Thank you, Darren.

I'll live.

Josh!

Oh, so brave, so fearless.

Yeah, well, uh, lots of luck.

Wait, I'm not married yet.

Yeah, I will.

Lots of luck anyway.

Yeah, but you gotta see this thing through.

Mr. Fairweather knows very well that the preacher's in Littlefield, and he just

might try to stop her.

Besides, they'll need witnesses.

Yeah, well, there's a lot of witnesses over in Littlefield.

Well, I hesitate to mention money at a time like this. Uh, yeah, I know what

mean, brother, but, uh, you don't have to be hesitant.

Excuse me, ma 'am.

We'd better hurry, darling.

He's so strong.

Well, it was worth it.

Prince, you're going to earn your keep last year.

The preacher's at a christening.

Oh, the patter of little feet.

He's at the house next to the school.

We'll find him. I'll get him.

Reverend, sir, could you please hurry it up? Young man, you must not be in such

haste. Marriage must only be entered into after due deliberation. Besides, I

need my book. Book? Yes, my book. Where is the book? On the table, young man.

Now then, will you take her right hand, your right hand, and

this side.

And your hat, please.

Hat.

Now, then, we are gathered together to take three eggs beaten to a stiff...

Oh, my, no.

No, this is my wife's cookbook. Wrong book. Will you get the reverend's right

book? There you are, reverend. Hurry, please, sir. Now, then, your names,

please. Patience Fairweather. Jane Fairweather.

But which is the bride?

Well, I will be.

No.

Your name, young man.

Clayton Armstrong, sir. Please hurry, sir.

Now then, we are gathered together in sight of this company.

Just keep going, Reverend. Now take care of this.

Most unusual.

Would you hurry it up, please? Yes, sir.

Please.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered together... Is it fair whether you and

going to do a wedding like that? Well, if I'm stopping, I wouldn't do that.

Well, who says?

I do.

You want to die?

No, sir. I just want everybody to be happy. Happy? I haven't had a happy day

since that kidnapper turned Jane's head. She wanted to go with him because she

loved him. I'm losing the best cook a father ever had.

How's that? Blast it. She's getting married.

There is any man present who should know why this couple should not lawfully be

joined together. Let him now speak or forever after hold his peace.

Now, before I pronounce you man and wife, there is something I should like

say to you.

Could you say them quickly and skip over them, sir?

Young man, this is very important.

Matrimony is a holy estate not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but

reverently, discreetly, and soberly.

What kind of a father are you? You're a hungry father.

She'll be cooking for him now. She ain't gonna be cooking for nobody.

What does that mean?

We are day two going to be living in a hotel room.

No kitchen.

By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

My...

What have you done to Papa?

Congratulations, son.

You know what I'm giving you young folks for a wedding present?

A ranch.

Well, where are you, me Papa?

In the kitchen, daughter. In the kitchen.

Oh, boy.

Well, happy honeymoon.

Thanks, Dad.

And hurry back.

Come on, now. Get going. Bye. Bye.

All you have to do is say yes. No.

But you're so thin.

No. Oh, but you need me.

Your daddy needs you. Her cooking?

Come, come, son.

Faint heart. Never one fair lady.

I'll follow you wherever you go.