Original subtitles

Well, beside that, I'll tell you what I did hear, Fanny. I don't care what you

heard. It's Doc.

Now you remember that, Doc.

I'm sorry, Doc.

Anyway, I heard some of the outraged citizens done burnt your wagon at St.

Louis. Yes, sir.

And got me a new one.

This one made to my exact specification by the finest craftsman in the Republic.

The man that made that was the former carriage maker of the King of Spain.

The Queen of Spain, isn't it?

One of each, boy. One of each.

Oh, toss me a couple of them green apples, would you? A couple?

There you are, my boy.

One, two.

I see you got some new titles.

Yes, sir.

Now, DMI. That stands for Delaware Military Institute, in whose

hallowed halls I spent a very happy but rather brief tenure.

Then ATGD, which is Across the Great Divide, which accounts for my presence

here. And SLM, St. Louis, Missouri, where I learned the secrets of this

and honorable profession from an aged and dying scientist.

Doc, where you working?

Tom's Junction.

Yeah, I'm going in there myself.

Been a week since I had a hot bath.

Hot bath?

Now, you be careful, Josh.

I knew a man had a bath once, got his ears plugged, never heard another sound

long as he lived.

His case wasn't without virtue, though.

He was married to the loudest, bitterest, most cantankerous female it

been my misfortune to cure.

You stop her from talking?

She contracted an ailment and lost her voice. So you know what I did?

I mixed her up a powerful drug boy. And the next day, she was billowing away

again.

You cure her husband?

He wouldn't let me come near him. That man just didn't want her here.

Well, I'm going to town to get in that hot bath. I'll see you in town, Doc.

Keep your ears above water, Josh.

Folks, come a little closer, because what I'm about to offer you is without

equal anywhere in the country. You know me, old Doc Farnsworth, and I stand for

honesty and integrity.

Ah, my dear lady, what is your trouble? Where is your ache?

Uh -huh.

All right, now, allow me the privilege of eliminating and eradicating the

in your right arm.

And here it is, dear lady, precisely what I prescribed to my sainted maiden

aunt. Ah, I can hear her now.

Farnsworth, she said.

Farnsworth, you have the magic. And you know what?

She made me promise to share it with the world.

And I've kept that promise, folks.

And I'll keep it till my dying day.

Here you are, dear lady.

One dollar, please, just to cover the cost.

Why, thank you.

All right, now, who's next?

Aha, what can I do for you, my friend?

It's, uh, kind of personal.

Personal? Why, everything's personal, neighbor. But don't you worry.

Old Doc Farnsworth is here to help you. Folks, I spent my entire life helping

people who couldn't help themselves. Speak up, man.

Come on, now.

Do you eat three meals a day, friend?

Whenever I can.

Well, from now on, you make sure, morning, noon, and night, and 15 minutes

before each meal,

Some of this on that head of yours. Now, will you remember that?

All I have to do is look in the mirror.

Mister, anybody can see that you're no fool.

Here you are, sir.

One silver dollar, please.

Coin of the realm.

All right, folks. Now, come along. Speak up.

If I hear it, I'll cure it.

Hey, Doc.

Yes, sir.

What about thirst?

Thirst? Right over there, sir. I never bug the competition.

The next clinical consultation will be tomorrow at 11 a .m. sharp. The same

location.

Funny thing, Rambo.

You've never spent more than a couple hours in this town before.

What's so funny about that?

You can really smell it, can't you?

Smell what?

Trouble.

I don't think that's very funny at all, Ed.

I'm talking about Jim Lansing, the guy who banged into me at the hotel this

afternoon. He's gone.

With $30 ,000 of the bank's money.

I hope he makes it.

What do you put on your hair?

Chicken grease?

Let's see, Josh.

You got a minute?

Yeah, sure. I want to talk to you.

Sure enough.

My wagon be all right?

No, it won't be all right. I got my clean clothes on. Never mind about that.

don't want to get my clothes all dirty.

Don't get him picked.

My boy, I have found something.

Come on. What is it? Well, if you get down off the horse, I'll show you.

Now, Jim Lansing.

Sorry about this afternoon.

Well, if I had $30 ,000, I wouldn't be sorry.

I meant about knocking you down.

How did he get here?

He needed a place to hide.

Oh. The boy is innocent.

How do you know?

Faith, my boy.

Simple faith.

Oh, that's good, Doc. That's really good. Well, it's good enough for me.

Now, look, it's none of my business, but if you're innocent, why are you

running? I didn't steal that money from the bank.

Well, you just didn't get up and walk out.

It was gone when I opened the safe this morning.

I couldn't believe it.

Uh -huh.

Well, there's another reason for running.

This isn't my town.

I came out from Boston.

I'm new here.

What do you got laws here that you seem to do in Boston?

All the evidence pointed at me. I didn't have a chance.

Will you help him, Josh?

Heck no.

Couldn't you make just one little exception in his case? You're a crit.

Why? Because the boy is innocent.

Then you prove it. I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll give you $50. $50 out of my own pocket. You been drinking your own

again? $65 in advance. And if you decide against me, well, I've lost money

before. I'm going home. Josh, now, I've been around slickers all my life. I know

them, and I know honest folk. That's why I believe this boy.

Now, look.

Understand this.

Maybe he's innocent. Maybe he isn't innocent. I don't know. But I can't

to come between him and the law. Now, you understand?

Well, then, think it over. Maybe you'll change your mind. I don't see how.

Oh. Hope you make it, Lansing.

You're stubborn.

Stubborn as that old mule of mine.

I ain't getting in any trouble for you or nobody else.

Excuse me.

Hello. The lady's name is Ann Barchester.

My wife.

Makes you Mr. Barchester.

Does that mean anything to you, Randall?

Yes, sir. That means that she's your wife.

I don't know why you're here, but...

Sir, with you, ma 'am, I'd kind of like to go wash up. Go ahead.

And I didn't come here to discuss my marital status.

Uh, Mr. Randall. I'll do the talking in.

I just wanted to explain. I'll do the explaining.

We're not here to discuss a sewing bee.

Keep saying why you're not here, so you should tell me why you are. You heard of

the bank robbery here in town?

Uh -huh. It's my bank.

And the bank robber is Jim Lansing.

You have no right to condemn anyone without due process of law.

You shall have to excuse my wife.

She has an emotional inability to face reality.

This was Jim Lansing's room.

He used to complain about being lonesome, being so far away from Boston.

I felt sorry for the man and took him home with me, opened my house to him.

that wasn't enough.

He stole $30 ,000 from me.

Bounty hunters don't have your concern for due process. Some do.

Have I offended you, Mr. Ramble?

Just a little bit.

Let me restate my point.

Men like you do not stop to judge their quarry. My business isn't judging,

mister.

Precisely.

I'm offering $1 ,000 for Jim Lansing.

You must want him pretty bad.

By noon tomorrow, it'll be telegraphed to every sheriff in the area.

I'm giving you a chance to get a head start. What?

You ask a lot of questions for a bounty hunter.

I might change my mind.

That wouldn't bust me up too bad.

And?

I'll make it even easier for you. Yeah, how's that?

I've heard how you people work.

Some body hunters work some way, some work another. That's not the information

received. Your kind likes to ask questions afterward.

Well, that suits me fine.

I'd like you to bring Jim Lansing in dead.

That is, if you decide to honor me by accepting my $1 ,000.

Mr. Randall. Yes, ma 'am.

I just want to say... I did...

Well, I must have caught that faith of yours. Say now.

Looking for

Jim

Lansing. He's been seen in this area.

Well, now, you won't find him here, Sheriff.

Why don't you let me look around for myself?

Well, I would have seen him. I've been here since this afternoon.

Yeah? And what were you doing in the saloon?

Well, what does any civilized man do in a saloon, Sheriff?

I'll just have a look around.

Oh, now, you won't find him there.

I'll satisfy myself.

A thousand dollar reward's just been posted for him, Doc.

That's a lot of medicine.

It sure is.

Josh, like I told the sheriff, he isn't there.

gone. Now, where's Lansing?

All I know is I staked out the borough a while ago, and when I came back,

Lansing was gone.

And you were so sure he was innocent. Now, why'd he run this time?

Oh, I just don't know.

Well, okay, you just saved yourself $50.

Yeah, well, I wish I hadn't.

Howdy.

All right, on your feet, Randall. Huh? Sam.

Get his piece, Shooter.

Now we can talk.

I've said my piece.

Not entirely.

For example, why would a bounty hunter even think twice about accepting $1 ,000

off?

Maybe I just don't like your money.

Second question.

How are you and Lansing and the medicine man here splitting my $30 ,000?

Now, just...

I lose $30 ,000.

Lansing disappears.

You ride into town, the medicine man arrives.

Where's my money?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Drop it.

That's a little nut, isn't it?

16 ounces of medicine? No, sir.

You're buying 16 ,000 years of accumulated and concentrated wisdom and

knowledge. The distillation of centuries of learning.

And what are you paying for this scientific cornucopia?

One single solitary dollar. No more, no less, folks.

So come on, name your complaint and step right up and get your medicine.

Howdy, I'd kind of like to talk to you, if you don't mind.

Oh, come in.

Thank you.

You hurt yourself.

Yeah, a man punched me in the face.

I don't understand.

Your husband and one of his hired guns, I guess.

If Arthur's responsible for that, I'm sorry.

It's all right.

Last night, you wanted to tell me something. Right now, I'd like to know

was.

Oh, I just wanted to say, I don't think Jim Lansing took that

money. I mean more than that.

Jim Lansing is a gentleman.

Yeah, well, that's fine, but what does that mean?

He's a man who reads the sonnet for Shakespeare, a common thief.

No, ma 'am, but $30 ,000 isn't common.

Did you come here to convict Jim Lansing?

No, I'm just trying to find out exactly what you know.

Look, your husband thinks that Lansing's guilty.

I don't. You help me, maybe I can prove it.

When he came to dinner that first night, he brought flowers.

The first flowers a man ever carried into this house.

Did you ever pick flowers for a woman, Mr.

Randall?

We're not talking about me, ma 'am.

Jim did everything nice.

He held my chair for me.

When I left the room, he rose.

And every time I returned, he rose again and held my chair again.

He never entered this house without something.

And he never left it without bowing.

I see your point.

But he's not going to help you find him.

That's all I can tell you. We must be miles away by this time. He is, and I

talked to him last night in Johnson's Grove.

I'll tell you the truth. I thought he was guilty, too.

Then I had a little talk with your husband, and he kind of convinced me.

What do you mean?

Look, your husband offered me $1 ,000. It's kind of sweet. You know, I'm going

to take it because I need it, but that doesn't mean I'm going to railroad

Lansing. Understand?

Maybe I can help you.

This house isn't the only place Jim read his poetry.

Now and then we take the buckboard to Willits Creek.

Thank you. Let me go with you.

Well, I'd rather do this alone.

Please.

It'll just take me a minute.

Ann, what are you doing here?

Come on, we'll take you back to town.

I don't stand a chance if I go back.

Now, listen to me, Lancey.

You ain't got a chance in the world if you don't.

They won't give me a fair trial.

Even you don't believe me.

You're wrong, Jim.

I'm the only one who believes you.

Well, come on, let's go and we'll all get what we want, huh? Here you go,

Lancey.

Hey, now, give me that gun.

I got what I want right here.

Both of you.

I'll tell the story how you killed each other in a gun battle.

Shouldn't have said you were leaving, Jim.

What else could I do?

Could have said you loved me.

I don't.

Couldn't you have lied once?

I thought framing Jim for robbery would be enough.

But you gave me another idea, Mr. Randall, when you came along.

You know, the funny thing, the money's been here all the time.

Where I buried it.

Under that tree.

Where he read me poetry.

But now the time for poetry's over.

It's all over.

I'm sorry, Anne.

Such is the stuff that dreams are made of.

me tell you.

Believe me, Josh, for that I... Josh, I tell you when you filled it in a stream.

Oh.

Well, you could use it for after shaving, you know. It has a very

effect on the skin.

How is your eye, boy?

I'll live.

I'll tell you something. I usually sympathize with a husband. After a

she'll hold up and punch me in the face like that. It was kind of a pleasure

getting that money from her.

A woman scorned.

That's Shakespeare.

I got something else here.

Cold cash?

No, sir.

Cold hair taken?

No, sir.

All you owe me for is one broken bottle, but I'd rather have you in my debt.

You know, I don't think I will understand you, Doc.

Say, how did you happen to be here just at the right time?

Faith, my boy.

Simple faith.

Come on.

Well, I ran out of medicine, so I came back here for refills.

Now I ask you, boy, isn't that faith?

Come on, Fanny.

Fanny! Now listen, it's dark!

Remember? Dark!