Original subtitles

My name's Ben Hanlon.

I'm a magician.

On this show, I go undercover and completely mess with people's heads.

Whether I'm catching members of the public off guard... Are you joking?

this. Two!

Or pushing celebrities to their limits.

You're being filmed!

I don't care, you... Oh.

The cameras are hidden.

I'm in disguise.

So all the reactions are 100 % genuine.

No way.

You've got issues.

These people have been well and truly tricked.

When you go to the library, you know what to expect.

A few good books and peace and quiet. It's about as stress -free as you can

That is, unless I'm working there. I'm going undercover as a librarian to trick

some unsuspecting members of the public.

Oh, heyya. You alright?

Hi, I'm just going to return a book.

Oh, it's gotten cold.

Yeah, has it? Yeah!

I was all dressed for spring and it's taken a horrible turn.

You've got your library card. I do.

Can't accept this.

No? No.

You defaced it.

Oh, that wasn't me.

Well, you just had the book.

I can only say it wasn't me.

Oh, is it because it's a hardback? Is that what you've done?

Are you single? Is it like a... It's just making me really bored.

No, I... I totally didn't even clock that.

You didn't clock whilst reading 500 -odd pages. 500 pages.

Right, what can I do about that? Well, I can't put that out. It's a family

library. If I put that out and the kids go, what's that?

We've got to tell them it's a snake or something.

They're not going to buy that. They're kids. They're smart. We can put a face

that. They've got the internet. They know what a willy is.

Yeah. If I can take that drawing off it, I won't have to charge you 25 quid.

OK. All right.

Oh, wow.

How did you do that?

I'll file that now.

Cheers, no charge.

Here you go. That's amazing.

How did you do that?

While I wait for my next victim, I've popped outside hoping to prove books are

lot more fun than you think.

How you doing, mate?

What's your name, mate? Bradley.

Nice to meet you, Bradley.

I'm David.

David, nice to meet you, David.

David, hold your hand out for me.

I'm going to give you something here. I don't want you to look at what I've

given you, all right? So just put your other hand on top of it. Put your other

hand on top of it. Yeah.

Yeah, hold it close. Yeah, got it? Yeah. You can probably feel maybe what that

is, but you don't know exactly. Yeah. All right?

You look very stressed, David. It's going to be all right, okay? Yeah.

Now, I'm going to do a trick with a book I'm halfway through reading. It's a

real page -turner.

It's Kimberly Walsh's autobiography.

Have you lads read this?

No. Oh, you've not lived. You've not lived.

Bradley. Yeah.

There's about 400 -odd pages in here. Think of a number between 1 and 400.

Hmm. One hundred and nine.

Sorry? One hundred and nine. One hundred and nine? Mm -hmm.

Okay, all right. One hundred and nine.

One hundred and nine.

There you go.

Take the book. One hundred and nine. Look down the page.

Look at a word.

Yep. Got one? Mm -hmm.

Remember the word.

Shut the book.

Got it? Yep.

Look at me.

Think of the word.

Over and over again.

It's a big word, well, not a big, but a big object, like house.

The word house.

No.

Thanks for laughing, David.

What was the word?

Eventually. Eventually.

I've got that.

On page 109, eventually.

Tell you what, open it up again.

109, eventually.

Sure it was eventually.

Yep.

Page is missing.

Yeah,

there is no 109.

God.

That's not good enough.

Open your hand. Open it up. Oh.

Open it up.

Oh, my days.

Oh, my days.

That's weird.

What page number is it?

109.

That's crazy. What? Oh, my God.

That is crazy.

I just closed the page, literally.

Wow. Guys, thank you very much.

Cheers, man. No problem. Cheers.

Right, break over. Now I'm back inside the library where things are going to

a little weird.

Hey mate, you alright?

What are you after, mate?

Well,

our section's not very big there. We're in the process of changing it. We've got

some there, we've got some here. I mean, these are pretty good ones. Have you

ever done yoga?

No. Brilliant.

Right. Really good.

It's bending over and stuff, isn't it?

Yeah, it's stretchy. Yeah.

It's harder than it sounds.

Yeah, yeah, I mean, all the big moves are in here. You've got... Have a look

through. You've got Lotus, Downward Doggy Style, Reverse Cowgirl.

They're all in there.

Yeah.

That's not really my kind of thing, really. No, it's good. I mean, I'm

my way through. I'm not a master.

There's one... Can I show you what I'm working on?

Is that all right? Is that all right? A bit weird.

I'll show you a move.

Come on. It's called High Lotus.

All right, sit down.

Right, grab a seat.

Can you cross your legs?

Can you cross your legs? All right.

Right, cross your legs.

And then get into lotus.

Okay, that's good. Now, high lotus.

High lotus is when you put your feet up like that.

This high lotus, all you've got to do is put your hand here and then just

straight up... What

the

heck?

Pretty good, innit? What was that?

It's yoga, innit?

I mean, it's a great workout.

That's pretty mental.

I've never seen anything like it. Yeah, mate.

Great. Do you want that?

Meeting celebrities and doing magic for them is one of the best bits of the job.

But like anything, it can get a bit boring after a while. Let's make it a

riskier. I've asked you guys, the viewers, to tweet me with some funny

that I can do whilst performing magic to them.

They'll think they're seeing a normal trick, and they'll have no idea I've got

hidden agenda.

So let's see what you tweet.

Right, what have we got here?

Oh, here's a good one.

Daisy Ruby says, drink Tramp Strength Lager at a celebrity party.

I've never drank Tramp Strength Lager at a celebrity party. That, I'm going to

do that.

That is my challenge accepted.

I'm heading down to the Jog On To Cancer fundraiser.

The meet -up with X Factor winner, Sam Bailey.

It's been going all right? Yeah. Good?

Good for you, man?

Well, congratulations.

I can't see my feet.

Nothing. Well, they're there. They're still there.

Can you tell what I'm having before I go?

It's a boy, and you shall call him Ben.

I know. That's it.

That's it.

So, Sam, I've got a ditch for you.

Okay. In here is a drink.

Okay. Very simple game. I want you to think of any drink.

Got one? Yeah. Got it? Yeah.

All right, this drink should match.

Okay.

What is the drink in your head? Say it.

Bailey's.

I was thinking you're more of a lager girl, Sam.

You've changed.

You've changed.

Okay, I'm a special group. Do you want that instead?

No, that's what my dad used to drink. All right.

It's lovely.

But you want Bailey's? Yeah.

Pass me that glass.

There you go.

Cheers. Oh, that's delicious.

It's lovely.

So creamy.

Oh, God, my overalls are going to love that with a bit of ice.

You can have it. It's a gift.

Yeah. Have a good night. Cheers, Sam. Thank you very much.

That's amazing.

Later, I flog outrageous toys to livid parents.

You're offering me that for my six -year -old? I shot the vamp doggy style.

Oh, my God! And stunned Louis Spence with a trick that cost 100 grand.

Oh, my God!

Now, today, I'm going to trick British pop band The Vamp. Now, apart from

hit singles, they're also known for having some of the craziest bands in

So I've engineered a photo shoot and a meet and greet with some of the van

pecks. The only thing is the van don't know it's about to go horribly wrong.

I'm playing the part of a high -end showbiz photographer.

I've got cameras, instruments and amps.

Now all I need are some pop star victims.

Here you go.

This is awesome.

So what we're doing is we're thinking kind of Rolling Stones cover type shoot

loads of simple shot that kind of thing After this is where we got like a meet

-and -greet with some of the fan right crack on. Yeah, right No,

I guess another one

I hope they don't have to look at any of my shots, because they are far from

professional.

Time to make some introductions.

The vamps think they're meeting some fans, but they don't know they're really

undercover actresses and an undercover dog. Well, literally, it's in a bag.

Hello, these are our fans.

Hello, hello, hello.

Hello, how are you? Hello, how are you?

Hello, are you okay?

It's a scrapbook.

Okay, can I have a look? Thank you very much.

Do you mind putting this back? What's in the dog?

My dog is called James.

She's called James.

Cute. She's called James.

I wanted to call her James.

Cute.

Do you want to take her out? Yeah, let's take her out.

That is the cutest thing ever. Oh, that is cool.

That is really cool.

Do you want to stroke her?

There we go.

Cool. Alrighty.

We're going to do a few more photos in here whilst we've got these lights on

stuff. You want to just go through? They've got some drinks in the back.

Are we all right to just keep hold of little James?

Is that all right? I just want to take a few photos.

We're going to look after him. Is that okay?

It'll be two minutes.

Let's just hold him for a minute.

That's quite cool, actually.

There we go, there

we go.

Just do a power chord a big

Hold on, sit down, sit down.

No.

No. Stay there, stay there.

Is it alright?

Did it land on the dog? Yeah.

Shouldn't have played that goal, Matt.

Why did you... I didn't say play that loud, it was... No, man, come on.

You have to fucking tell him.

If we could tell her it ran away, we could say it went through the door, ran

away, something like that.

I'll tell you what we'll do, right?

What we'll do, when she comes in, we'll pretend that nothing's happened.

We'll pretend that the dog's fine, and nothing's happened.

When it was dropping, it was in slow -mo, I was like, no!

And then I was like, it's gone, the dog's gone.

Oh, the dog!

When he pulled the book up and the dog were there.

Well, it was very nice.

It looked the best it's ever looked.

I was very happy to see it.

We have been tricked.

Good job, good job.

I'm working behind the register of this toy shop today, and I'm sure parents

will be queuing up when they see what special toys I've got in store for them.

While the team get their hidden cameras rigged, I'm getting into character as a

toy shop salesman whose goal is playing with punters' minds.

Right. Hiya.

Looking for anything in particular?

Um... Yeah, well, no, not in particular, actually.

I've got two boys. They're six and nine.

OK. I'll tell you what's big at the moment. A lot of people are coming back

kind of light, fancy dress, but I'll show you. I mean...

Are they... Are they into chavs?

Chavs? Yeah, chavs.

No. No, are you sure? I mean, this is really popular.

Basically, you can buy all these accessories and they can pretend to be

It's really good. I mean, don't knock it till you've seen it. No, no, no, you're

all right. You're all right.

Cool. You like it, yeah? It's good, isn't it? No, no, no. As in, are you

a laugh or what?

The chav kit.

They're six.

Do you want me to give my six -year -old weed to smoke? No, it's not real weed.

It's a toy, isn't it? No, no, no. Yeah, but what kind of message are you giving

a six -year -old? Well, you're teaching them maths and you're teaching them

dexterity. You are having a laugh. No, this is really popular. You must be

really bored in your job. We've got little Aspos. I'm going to play along.

on, then. I'd love to. How many grams is that?

I don't know. I don't do drugs. If you could split it up and sell it, how much

could you earn from it? Well, you can buy a little... There are little scales

do. Really?

Show me. You're taking the mick now, aren't you? Show me.

You're taking the mick. I'm not. This is a genuine thing. They've been selling

well. You're actually offering me that for my six -year -old. I actually can't

believe you're serious.

I don't. You're very aggressive.

No, no, no. I actually can't believe you're serious.

Why not? You are actually having a laugh, aren't you? Are you quite posh?

that what it is?

Posh? Yeah, posh. Do you not like chavs? You're having a laugh massively.

Obviously you didn't like this.

I mean, we do other things.

Would they be into that? As much as my boys like pink, really the Disney

princess isn't going to work for me. Would you rather submit a bit more

traditional? Yeah, I would actually.

All right.

A bit less offensive.

There you go. It's got all the accessories inside.

That's very clever. I like that.

That's very good. I'm really impressed.

Didn't I like that?

It was worth coming just for that, really.

Your waist is here.

Oh, yeah. I know.

You know what?

Kids are loving these.

They're real.

See? You thought they were real. Where are they?

They're robotic fish.

They're like the most up -to -date, latest robotic fish.

OK. There's loads of technology in them, but they're like £6.

Does the fish just come on its own? Yeah, you don't have to feed it or

OK, that's good.

Would you put it in the bath?

Kids do like to put them in the bath, that kind of stuff, because they feel

they're swimming with the fishes.

Clear cooking bowls.

Yeah, so do you want one of these?

Yeah, OK, yeah, let's go with that.

How do you want to pay?

I've got my card.

Right. Great, thank you very much.

There you go.

Cool,

there's your receipt.

Thank you.

60?

Yeah. You said six.

I'm not paying 60 pounds for a plastic fish.

No, but it's not a plastic, it's robotic.

Robotic or plastic, it's still made of plastic, isn't it?

Yeah, but so are some of the most advanced things. Look at all the

Let me show you how advanced it is.

You don't look happy at all. No, I'm not.

Well, I tell you what, have this.

Have a look at them up close. If you're not happy with them, you don't think

it's worth it, I'll refund you the money.

All right?

Go on, hold that. Hold that.

I'll get you one to look at.

All right? Mm -hmm.

Let me see.

That's the one you wanted, wasn't it?

That's fine, yeah.

Yeah.

It's a fish.

Fish.

See how realistic it is. I still wouldn't pay £60 for a goldfish.

Oh, that's just... You're just not valuing life.

How did you do that?

Later, I send this plumber round the bend.

My market stall ends up being more than this bloke bargained for.

Oh, ditch it. If I wasn't doing something, I'd have to be punished.

And Louis Spence goes mad in my most expensive trick yet.

An

experienced

plumber should be able to handle the odd tricky customer.

But then again, they've never met me.

I've arranged for a plumber to come to my house and he's got no idea what he's

walking into.

I'm going undercover as a rich idiot, and I've got a trick that's going to put

him right in the middle of a very awkward domestic.

I'm suited and booted, not sure about the hair, but I'm meeting young plumber

Ashley to find out why he wants revenge on his mate.

Ashley, how you doing, you alright?

Yeah, good, thank you. Good, good.

You're a plumber, and you work with Gary. Yeah.

Why are we setting up Gary?

Gary, he thinks a bit of a joker.

Likes to play pranks on me, other engineers, yeah. What kind of stuff has

done to you? The worst one I think he's done is locked me in a toilet for an

hour. Taking the handle off the toilet.

He locked you in a toilet for an hour? Yeah.

You messed the shit yourself.

No, I did literally, yeah.

You should have used the toilet.

So here's what's going to happen.

I'm going to play the part of a pretty obnoxious city boy banker.

He's going to come to my house to replace a tap.

I'm going to be pretty rude to him. And then he's going to meet my girlfriend.

And there'll be a bit of a moral dilemma.

No, and Gary, I think he'll panic a lot.

Panic? Fear?

Yeah, you'll see it in his eyes. Women do strike fear in men.

I'm going to get myself into city banker mode, and I'll see you in a bit. See

you later.

I was told quarter past by your office, so I'm in a rush, that's all.

So... Yeah, yeah, yeah, just bought it. Just bought it.

Yeah, it was on for a mil and got them down to 900, so a bit of a bargain.

Work hard, play hard, innit?

So, bath the sink.

Right. It was dripping.

And then I tried to fix it.

No luck.

So I bought... Right. Here, hold that.

Here, hold that. I've got a... Whoa, where are you putting her? Where are you

putting her? That's my method.

Oh, sorry. It's all right.

She won't like it. Someone didn't get damaged, sorry. All right, all right.

She's quite fit, isn't she?

Yeah, she's nice looking though. Why do you pause, son?

She's fucking corkish, she is.

So anyway, that there, I had a go, couldn't do it.

I thought it looked easier than it is.

Had a go, yeah.

And then I bought this.

Right, okay.

So, have a look at that.

Yeah, it's all there.

I'm going to go and get myself a coffee.

You're alright, you don't need one, do you? No, I'll be fine. You crack on,

yeah? Yeah, yeah, the sooner I'm done, the sooner I'm out of your way.

Look, um...

Right, I'm going to go. I'll be back in not long. It's only across the street.

I know how much is in there, all right?

Yeah, that's fine. Don't worry about it. Yeah, yeah, all right, whatever.

Hello. Hello.

Hi. Sorry, all right? Sorry.

Who are you?

Of course you are. Of course you are. Rob's not here, though, is he?

No, he's down at the shop.

He's supposed to be at work, I think.

No, he's here. He let me in.

When? Well, about 10, 15 minutes ago.

Oh, God. Okay.

Sorry, I'm with a girlfriend.

Just go.

Yeah, see, I'm going to go. I'm really sorry. I wasn't... How are you getting

on, mate?

You all right?

Yeah, fine, thanks.

All right, Sal, I've just got to send a couple of emails, all right? Oh, my God,

I don't have the key.

Shit, shit, shit, shit. OK, I don't know what to do.

I don't know what to do. OK, forget it.

Yeah, yeah, I'm all right. Please don't tell him you saw me.

No, I'm just... I'll be there in a bit. He's hiding. He will be fucking mad.

He knows that's not my name. It's not my time.

Please help me out.

Can you hand me your tape? Hand me your tape.

Just... All right.

Thank you. Your tape is over.

No, I'll jump in a cab.

I'll do it in a cab. It's fine. I'll be over there. Well, it's only South East

London, isn't it? No,

it's fine.

Yeah, yeah, no. It won't be long. We'll have a fucking boozy one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, no, no, no. I'll see you in a bit. See you in a bit.

How are we going, mate?

We good?

Good,

good.

So, how long do we reckon?

I know you've got to go, but... Yeah, well, just get it done, but, like, you

know, I was... I mean... Yeah.

Has anyone... Has anyone been here?

No. No?

No. Is that yours?

No, that's mine, yeah.

Whose is that, then?

That's not much.

Oh, it's probably the electrician, isn't it? He was in earlier.

Look, I'll tell you what, tradesmen, they just leave their shit about, don't

they?

Yeah. Watch the floors on that saw, by the way. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I

don't ruin the floors. Yeah,

cool.

Has my miss been back?

No, I haven't heard anything.

No. Not downstairs.

It's alright, it's just her jacket's here.

I saw her get on the bus with us this morning.

Definitely won't, innit?

She hasn't been back? She's not said hello?

No.

She said she wasn't going to do this again.

Fucking unbelievable.

Ah, yeah.

Just fucking bought this place as well.

Fuck. She's definitely wearing that today. Definitely wearing that.

She might have popped back, dropped it off. Oh, did she pop back? No.

Yeah, she could have done. Yeah, you're right. That could have happened.

I better check in with her anyway.

You said something Batman Yeah,

yeah

Oh

She

said she said she left her phone she left the phone Yeah, yeah,

can you uh?

Yeah, can you get that for me?

She's so clumsy.

Cheers, mate. I'll go stick that on charge. Yeah, all right, mate.

I was getting paranoid then.

All right, mate. I'll go stick this on charge. Ten minutes, yeah? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.

I've got something to tell you, mate.

Yeah?

I'll get my head in here if that's alright.

No,

you don't have to do that.

Because I don't really live here.

What?

My name is Ben Hanlon.

I'm a magician.

And you've just been tricked.

What?

Oh, shut up.

No way.

What's going on here?

And he set you up.

You're a nice man.

Well done, boys.

Come on. Come on.

Come on.

Where are they?

Who knows? Who knows?

They were in the box. She got in. He got in behind her. I taped them up. They

were in the box. I could see the top of their heads as I put the flaps over.

and taped it up. There's no way.

They got in that box without a doubt. Hands up, he's got me.

You can buy all sorts of weird stuff from markets.

Bacon flavoured toothpaste, electric banana slicers, glow in the dark bog

But I've invented my own range of magical products which I'm sure members

public are absolutely going to love.

It's opening time at the market.

So I'm going to tempt in some unsuspecting shoppers.

Hi, mate. Hi, mate. How you doing, man? Good.

I'm interested in getting one of your blue bags with your name on it. All

good. How much are you going to charge me?

£9 .99.

£9 .99.

All right.

It's not like a really long name, is it?

No, it's Dylan.

Yeah, write it down for us, please.

Great. Cheers, mate.

Do a few minutes, yeah?

That's a pretty cool machine, though, isn't it? It's good, isn't it? Yeah,

good. Did you create it?

No, no, I bought this, and it works off of software, which I have to pay a

license for. Right.

So I pay it every year, and then I get to use their software, they update and

stuff, and we can do all sorts.

The fact that they're stitched in, it ain't exactly going to come out, is it?

It's not like, you know when you put the stickers on normally.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that looks good. Quite well, that is.

There we go.

That's what you wrote down.

Yeah. I just copied in whatever was on the paper.

Bang, it just went straight in.

Yeah.

Are you sure you didn't subconsciously just write dipshit?

Are you sure you didn't just write that?

If I wasn't doing something, I'd actually punch him for that because I

fucking written that. Well, well, well. I mean, you've got to see the funny side

of it. No, I don't. Not when you're writing dipshit, mate. No. Yeah, but I

didn't call him a dipshit.

I'm only writing what you put.

Oh, my God.

I mean, she's laughing.

All the kids will laugh.

All the kids will laugh. I haven't done my... My son's going to go to school

with that, though.

It is funny, though, dipshit. I mean...

Is he a bit of a dipshit?

No,

no, I'm just asking. I'm just trying to... Alright, alright, okay. I don't

to cause a thing. So look, if that said Dylan, would you be happy?

Yeah, I would, yeah.

Look,

I'm not... Hey.

I know.

That's why I started laughing.

You happy with that?

All right, I'm happy with that. I'm so funny, guys.

Hiya, you all right? Hello.

What are you doing? Oh, breakfast?

Yeah, yeah, come round, I'll show you.

Have you seen these?

No. You've never seen these yet? This is a new thing.

It's a flat pack breakfast.

Do you want to look at that? Yeah, yeah.

Is it open?

What's it do?

So, you take that to work.

Yeah. You have that.

with you at work put it in your pocket take it out and when you get to work and

then you pick your breakfast that makes sense right no no all right well so if

you had to go for one of these cereals which cereal would you go for um

frosties quite

cool

isn't it yeah

don't be scared well look it's real frosties hold your hand out hold your

out real frosties there you go look real frosties

there you go it's free i won't charge you for them

have a good day

Earlier, I was challenged on Twitter to smuggle some Super Strength lager into a

celebrity party.

Time to pick another dare from my tweet.

Oh, here's a good one.

Make a celebrity swear.

Celebrities tend not to want to swear whilst being on TV, because it puts them

in a bad light. So I'm really going to have to trick them to swear.

Or just get them drunk, either way.

I've come to a fancy after -party, and I've happened to bump into soap star

Georgie Porter.

George, are you having a good night?

Yeah, really good night. Yeah, the thing is, these things can get a bit boring,

can't they? I know, talking.

Best thing to do, bring a game.

Scrabble. Scrabble.

Spelling. Right, okay, we're going to play a game of Scrabble. You hold on to

that. Mm -hmm. And that.

Yeah. I want you to pour those letters into my hand.

Okay.

All of them, yeah, all of them.

That was a lot.

Got them? Yeah.

All right, cool.

Drop the bag, lose it, lose the bag.

Gone. The bag is no more.

Right, I want you to reach in at random. Don't look. Just grab letters at

random.

Got one?

Don't look.

And place it there at the end. Then grab another one.

We're not looking.

Keep it random.

Good. You're enjoying this.

Yeah. You need to get out more, Georgie.

Yeah.

Fourth letter.

Maybe you're starting to spell a word, maybe.

Yeah.

Fifth letter?

All right, one more, one more, one more.

It's going to be a good one.

Okay.

Right, you've got seven letters there.

You've picked them at random. For the first time, what does it spell out?

Shibble.

Shibble. Shibble.

It's not really a word, is it? No.

I mean, it could be a word. Yeah. I mean, it could be a word in, like, a

language. Like, I don't know.

Korean or something. Right.

Sorry, I just so happen to have my Korean pocket dictionary.

Stop this.

No way.

Before we met, I circled one word in that book.

Victory from the front is about a third in.

The word circles.

Is it Shabal? It's Shabal.

What's it mean? Sorry, Korean people.

What's it mean?

It mean... It's a rude word. What's it mean?

What did you say?

I can't hear you. Fuck. Fuck. Yes!

How did you know that?

I can't tell you. This is ridiculous. How did you do this? How did you do

I can't tell you.

Thanks very much.

Thanks. I get angry at magic.

Oh, it's not really a good line to end on, is it?

Coming up, Louis Spence loses it in my £100 ,000 trick. Oh, my God!

Cricked is all about putting celebrities on the spot and seeing how they react

under pressure.

Which is exactly why I've booked Louis Spence to come to this showbiz yacht.

And I'm going to put him under big pressure.

With a briefcase containing £100 ,000 of cash.

Louis boards the yacht with his manager, who's in on it.

Hello. Hello.

I'm Dave. Nice to meet you. You alright?

I'm undercover in blonde hair and glasses, posing as the director.

So this is all about 100 grand. So it's a case full of cash. That's the... The

line we're going for. Louis thinks he's fronting a newspaper competition.

He'll be posing for a few photos and saying a few lines to camera.

This is Louis.

Hello, how are you?

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. I won't fight with you.

So, security.

Is that real money in there? Yeah. Oh, lovely. It came to you.

Lovely.

100 ,000. Nice, isn't it?

We've had you.

Right,

so, shall I get you in the bedroom?

This is just getting better. I've got a big boy strapped with £100 ,000.

I've got a young blonde inviting me to the bedroom. I'll take my jacket on now.

I'll put it on now and I'll take it off again later.

Let's go on through.

After you. Follow Matt.

Hold on, I'm sorry.

My stomach's not sticking out, I don't mind.

The only good thing I've got left now is my tip.

Should we get the money out?

Yeah. Get the money out.

Surrounded by bundles of money.

Too much?

A handful of... Nice,

isn't it?

You guys start counting that up.

Four.

Five, six, seven, eight, nine. And you took one, so if anyone misses, it's your

fault. OK, thank you.

Right, you good?

Yeah, yeah, we're all back in.

So can we get you to have the case? Do I have it strapped to me?

You do, is that all right? Yeah, I'm afraid so, yeah. OK, fine.

Just bear with me. What hand's he putting it on?

Probably best we tell him to go to your right.

Yeah, that's fine, I'm not mad.

So let's get just rest it on the on the top there bloody every There you go like

that as long as you got a good grip. That's fine. I didn't have that there

do our wide shot from there.

So Matt back down where we said, yeah.

Yeah Hi, I'm Louie Spence and you guys should get your hands on a case full of

cash I'm conscious that we need to be wrapped soon So why don't you download

them and we'll just run through it have a quick playthrough in case we don't

Well, yeah, just back it all up.

Let's get some more shots with Matt and I'll see you in a bit. All right.

Thank you. Right.

We're just going to get some wides with Matt. So if you can hop on the box.

I'm glad you got me a box.

If you look at Matt.

Yeah. And just kind of give a smile and he's going to get some. Matt, get some

wides, yeah?

Let's do like a table of cash type thing, if that's all right. One, two,

go.

Ow! Shit! Sorry mate, you're not hurting yourself there, are you? Ah!

Whoa, whoa!

Oh shit!

Ah!

Oh my god!

Oh my fucking god! Keep your voice down, keep your voice down. Oh my god, don't

change to it! Keep your voice down. Where's Nick? Nick!

Keep your voice down, keep your voice down. He went downstairs, he said,

car. Um, mate, mate, um, come here, come here, car, car, I'll stop this, I'll do

it. Matt, come back, come back, Matt.

Um, here mate, come here, come here, come here, just come here.

Um. I'm really sorry.

Did you shake it or something, did it?

I just did what you said, I just went, don't to pash.

But it, um, okay, all right, all right, well, hold on, no, what I'll do is, what

I'll do is, if you can, I'll go down, I'll try and get Matt, and we'll try and

get some of it out before this guy knows, and then he'll be left mad. Is

all right?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, don't break it. You're not going to get it. Listen, the

money's gone in your... Maybe I can get a boat or something. You're not going to

get it. It's gone in the water.

I'm just going to pop just to see Matt from it. Is that all right or not? Yeah,

yeah, well, I'm just really aware of the time, so I've got to get the money back

by about, well, about 15, 20 minutes. I thought we were going to be done, so...

Yeah, OK, well... I just want to do a couple more times, just because I

wasn't... I just want to feel I didn't get it off properly.

I just messed up some of the lines, because I can't say it, because there

too many tongue twisters for me, so I find it a bit difficult. Yeah, yeah, I

mean, well, yeah, whatever, I just wanted you to be aware of the time, but

that's cool, yeah. Yeah, yeah, well, tell you what, because he's had it on

wrist, can you put it on my wrist for a bit? Yeah, get stalled on it. Yeah,

yeah, put it on my wrist. Yeah, yeah, no worries.

Are you all right to take it off? No, no, no, absolutely, it's just that, I

mean... I know he gets stalled, yeah.

Yeah, no, sometimes I literally, my tongue gets tired when I try and say

so I just... And I want to get it right. Yeah, yeah, and we'll get some shots of

the money still, is that all right?

We won't be long, we won't be long. Yeah, as long as he's not long, I'm just

worried about time.

Yeah, OK, mate, that's all right. All right, cheers, mate.

So what we'll do with these shots, we'll... We're not doing more shots.

We're not doing more shots. We're not doing more shots. Well, I just didn't

want... Mate, what are we going to do?

What are we going to do?

Really?

Can you... Whoa, whoa, don't, don't, you'll hurt yourself.

Oh, my God, I can see it, I can see it!

That one's sinking and there's one there. Okay. Look, that one there's

down really quickly.

And this one's gone.

Look, if you keep running around, he's going to spot. So, look, if I tell...

I'll go and do it. If I tell my boss, if we can't get it, are you okay just to

say that you did it? Is that all right?

I'm okay. I mean, I did do it, but it wasn't my fault.

But you shook it. You were the one that shook it. So, is that all right? Yeah, I

shook it because you bloody told me to shake it. Okay, all right, all right.

not going to be responsible for it. I must have even went in there. It looks

about 10 grand. I'm not going to give you these 10 grand. It was 100 grand,

but...

Okay. Well, it was the hundreds, wasn't it?

Well, you must be joking, darling. I've just got a mortgage.

There's no way I'm bleeding. You're not getting a hundred grand out of me.

Hello?

What? You're rich.

What do you mean? I'm not bleeding rich.

I'm not rich. People think you are, but I'm not bloody rich. I don't do that

much. I've only been famous bleeding four years.

Okay, all right. What do you want me to do? Should I just tell him, then? Should

I tell him?

I mean, I don't know. I really don't know. But they must have some kind of

on this boat where if people fall in, they must have something.

Well, I've got an idea, right? Louie, Louie, come here. Dunning, there's a

hundred thousand pounds floating on the fucking ten.

I've got an idea, right? Come here. Just come here a sec. There's a hundred

grand floating on the ten. Yeah, but there's also my job on the island.

Listen, your job isn't worth a hundred grand. If you could actually get out

there and get it, then you would have your job. But there's a quicker way of

getting it. There's a quicker way. Okay, fine. Go on, fucking genius.

Yeah, I am a fucking genius, actually.

Look.

There you go.

Where's that come from?

Where the fuck has that money come from?

What the fuck is this?

My name's Ben Hamlin. I'm a magician.

You've just been tricked. Oh my fucking god, you fucking wanker. You... Fucking

wanker. And this is a hidden camera show. You fucking wanker.

Fucking hell. I'm telling you what, I fucking shit myself.

I thought I put a fucking hundred grand over there and I thought that you were

going to try and make me pay it off. You fucking knobhead.

Let's get a round of applause for Louis.

Did you fucking know?

Did you know me?

You wanker.

And I did actually think when I come in, I thought, oh, Louis is quite cute,

isn't he? I thought, I don't do blondes.

I couldn't quite comprehend.

I couldn't work it out. It's like, I've never had that. It's a really weird

feeling that normality wasn't there.

Where's that come from?

Where the fuck has that money come from?

I did not know my own mind. I didn't know what had just happened.

Benny's with me all the time.

The money's in the water.

Ben's standing there. Well, you must be joking, darling. I've just got a

mortgage. There's no way I'm bleeding. You're not getting 100 grand out of me.

The case is open. He closes the case. Open the case. There's 100 grand.

a quick away. Okay, fine. Go on, fucking genius.

I was being sarcastic when I said that, but the boy is a genius.

I want him to carry my bags all the time.