Original subtitles

Previously on Touched by an Angel. Everyone grieves in different ways, on

different schedules, don't they?

If there were angels, where were they when the car went over the cliff?

When my son Ryan, when my husband, my best friend, my lover, burned alive.

I knew it.

I'm sorry, but I have to let you go. Why don't you go down to the market with

me? They got a bulletin board there, advertising projects that need

Well, I can help you. Reading, writing.

Too late.

What's that throw?

Screen. You can run, but you cannot hide.

It's you!

Someone says it's too early for the mail.

Some lady dropped it off. She said it was a special delivery.

My son is in the hospital.

He died.

You die.

When you walk down the road,

heavy burden, heavy load,

I will rise and I will walk with you.

I'll walk with you till the sun...

Walk with you.

Every time I tell you, I'll walk with you.

Believe me, I'll walk with you.

Okay. This is what we're going to do, kid.

We're just going to sit right here for as long as it takes.

If I take that off, you better not scream, okay?

Not that anyone's going to hear you anyway.

Thanks.

What are you going to do to me?

No.

I don't know.

We're just gonna... We're gonna wait.

Wait until, uh... Until he's paid enough.

Who? Your dad.

My dad doesn't have any money.

No, that's not what I'm talking about.

I want him to pay the way I do.

I want him to suffer.

I remember you.

From where?

You're the lady from my dad's trial.

I'd be mad at him too.

Can you please take this off?

Betty's worrying about you now, huh?

Not yet.

He's in Turkey.

Turkey?

Somewhere by Europe.

He doesn't even have an address yet.

Oh, man.

This is a sweet one. It's about a mother who's there for her child.

Like I wasn't for mine?

How old is Christine?

Eight. I got pregnant when I was 16.

This tape can be a positive thing for her.

You have the time. I've got less than a week.

If you put your heart in this and make this tape for your daughter, you will

leave here with something you are proud of. I haven't got a heart. Don't you

read the papers?

I thought you couldn't read.

Letter from my daughter.

Say. I don't know. It's not addressed to me.

Read it to me.

Dear Darlene, my name is Dinah and I'm Claire's daughter.

I'm 15 years old.

I want to meet you very much.

Not out of curiosity, but I can't explain.

I just think we're supposed to meet and I know it's against the rules for

someone my age to go inside the prison, but I heard they make exceptions for

people on death row.

And I know my folks will say no unless you ask them.

It's really important. I hope you will say yes sincerely, Dinah Green.

Hello?

I'm sorry, darling. I didn't know about this.

No.

It's okay. You're a good mom.

Mrs. Green, a message just came in for you to call your husband.

Thank you.

Your dad got my letters.

Not that it sounds like that, huh?

He leaves a lot.

Oh, man.

He did a pretty good job of kidnapping.

I just want to scare him a little, that's all.

I want him to know what it feels like to turn around and realize his baby's

gone.

He's not even here to turn around.

I must have been out of my mind.

I'm going to jail.

Maybe not.

Don't worry.

It'll be okay.

Look, the woman wrote us threatening letters.

All right.

All right, thanks.

There's an officer on his way over.

Josh, Dinah?

They went back to the park with Hattie. All right.

Hey, look, I'm going to go get in the truck. Just drive her. No.

You stay here and wait for the police.

Do you drink or take pills? What?

My dad.

He'd take pills and then stop.

He'd get all down and leave.

Stop telling what he's doing.

I really need a drink right now.

What good would that be?

Make me feel a little calmer inside.

Maybe like somebody cared about me.

Your son cares about you.

He hates me.

I let him down.

When he gets out of the hospital, I'm sure they're probably going to take him

away from me. If you get caught and go to jail, they'll take him away from you

for sure.

Well, maybe he'll be better off. He'd be better off with his mom taking care of

him. Having no parents allows me.

My mom's dead.

I guess we've both had pretty tough times, huh?

I'm totally lost.

They're not locked.

My dad can get back on track?

Anybody can.

You're going to put me in prison for kidnapping you, you know.

I don't know anything about a kidnapping.

It's a toy gun.

My friend Freddy has one just like it.

It's Matthew's.

I'd never allow a real gun in the house.

To walk from here?

Are you sure you're okay?

Who needs to adventure?

I can handle it.

It's my favorite rock. It's from Minnesota.

It's pretty, and it feels nice to hold on to.

Hello, Nathaniel.

Hi. Do you remember me?

Do angels follow everybody's family around?

Everyone has angels watching over them.

Your family see them sometimes.

Most people don't.

Did you see me in the woods?

I thought you were very brave.

Sandra committed a serious crime and you survived, so you can tell about it. I'm

not going to say anything.

Do you think that's right?

You've got to understand.

Half her family died and then she started drinking.

I feel sorry for her.

I do too, but lying won't help her.

Yeah, but it'll keep her out of the worst of trouble.

She lost all those people.

I know how that feels.

She ran away from me. Now you're helping her to run away from the truth.

You're running too, Nathaniel, and sooner or later it will catch up with

Thanks for the advice.

Nice seeing you again.

really thinks he's doing the right thing. Well, that's the way it starts,

People stop listening to God. They figure they can decide what's right and

for themselves, and it leads to a whole lot of trouble.

What are we going to do about him? Oh, don't worry about Nathaniel. He's got a

plan, but God's got a better one.

And where do we go with that? Well, that depends on where she goes.

Well, if no one's going to listen to me, there's nothing more I can do.

Listen, baby, it goes like this.

Sometimes God sends one angel to plant the seed and another angel to collect

harvest. Now, you've done really good here. You've said all the right things.

Now it's time for you to step back and let them hear it loud and clear from me.

You're certain she used no force?

No. I mean, yes, she did it.

I mean, no.

Nathaniel, this is very serious.

I know.

You want to explain those marks on your wrist?

Um, well, we were in the woods, and I was fooling around on a tree, and I

slipped. Why on earth would you go to the woods with a stranger?

She wasn't a stranger.

I recognized her from the trial.

She was mad at my dad, and I needed to explain some things.

And you didn't think to check with her? I had to do it right away.

That's what you have to do with all people stuff. At least that's what you

So what do we do?

I'll talk to the woman.

Her letters are angry, but they don't mention the boy.

It's maybe a case of talking to strangers.

There doesn't seem to be any evidence of foul play here.

Yeah.

At least none that anybody's talking about.

Detective Winslow says that Sandra Mill's story lines up with Nathaniel's,

unless somebody changes that story, there's not much the police can do.

All we can do is believe him, Russell.

Where is he?

Upstairs, sleeping.

And if that woman got away with something, and I think that she did,

it again.

Nathaniel might not be so lucky the next time.

None of us will be.

Did you read those letters?

Yes. They were angry and desperate, but there was also a great deal of sadness

in them.

Did you know her little boy, the one who survived the accident, is in the

hospital? No. I read it in the paper.

Her son was hurt in a big explosion just yesterday.

Well, I feel bad about that, but that's no excuse to hurt another little boy.

Russell, something is going on here that we don't understand. Maybe we're not

supposed to, but think about it.

You were getting ready to go back on the road when Claire...

sensed the need to be here.

Claire visited the prison and saw the angel of death.

Nathaniel may actually have been kidnapped, but he was returned to us

And Sandra Mills' boy, he should have been dead.

But he survived.

Miraculously survived.

There are times when maybe the only thing we've got to go on is not what we

know, but what we believe.

On faith.

And maybe this is one of those times.

I agree.

Haven't we learned by now that it isn't up to us to figure out how everything

fits in?

It's up to us to deal with it.

Well, I can deal with anything.

As long as it's with you.

There is something else. Well, of course there is.

Dinah wants to visit Darlene at the prison. No, huh?

No way. Honey, that kind of place would do numbers on the mind of

the most mentally healthy person in the world. I am not going to have my

daughter risking her mental health just to satisfy some teenage curiosity.

You know Dinah better than that, Russell.

She is a very sensitive person. That's exactly my point.

There is such a thing as evil in this world, and a lot of it lives right out

there at that prison.

Why should Dinah face that any sooner than she has to?

I can't argue with you.

It does sound like a bad idea, but... What was it that Erasmus just said?

Something is happening.

People need us. All of us.

Isn't that why we went on the road? To be there.

To be used.

I'm not in favor of it, but I'll back you up.

If your act can visit prisoners on death row, I guess I can visit you.

I guess.

How you doing?

I don't know.

Want to talk about something special?

Anything?

Confidential?

Grandma's honor.

If you do something bad because you tried to do something good, does that

you did something bad?

Nathaniel, I think if you do something bad, you just did something bad for no

matter what reason.

She's not a bad lady.

She's kind of sad.

Yes.

I gave her my rock.

Wow.

And when you got from Minnesota, that was very nice of you, Nathaniel.

But, you know, I think when people are in that much trouble, what they really

need is our prayers.

You know how to do that, don't you?

Yeah.

Then I'll leave you two alone.

This is my daughter, Dinah.

Good to meet you, Dinah.

I didn't think your mom was going to let this happen. I didn't either, but she's

pretty cool.

Protective, but cool.

Well, you should be protective.

So, what's so important?

Well, I have something that I want to tell you, and I thought it might make

feel better.

Feeling better would be good.

I'm really sorry that you're going to die.

But do you realize that, in a way, this is kind of a gift?

Boy, you must be a lot of fun at birthday parties.

I know it sounds really weird.

I almost died once.

I could have died.

I was attacked.

One minute I was just walking down the sidewalk, and the next minute I realized

these could be the last.

moments of my life what'd you do well i freaked i mean i

completely lost it but then i blacked out and i started thinking

about everyone that i loved and how i would never say goodbye to them and

it seemed almost worse than dying well afterwards

i wrote this and I thought it might help you right now. Do you want

to hear it?

Yeah, I would.

Somewhere outside my body, I am screaming.

Somewhere in the night, I am fighting for my life.

But here, down in my heart and deep in my soul, my voice calls your name.

Mama.

My mind remembers all the times you held me when I cried and thanked me when I

was afraid of the dark.

Somewhere out there is evil, and now I must face it.

But before I go, I want to say I love you.

And I wish I had told you so before I left today.

That's really good.

Look, I know I'm just a kid, and maybe this has already occurred to you, but

may be the only person alive right now that knows the exact day and hour that

you're going to die.

You may not think you have any time left, but you have more time than most

people ever get to say goodbye or whatever it is you need to say.

I just wish that I could give my little girl something more than reading a

little storybook out loud.

The idea is to leave something of yourself behind for your daughter to

you by. It doesn't have to be a story. You can make a tape of a song, of a

letter. Or a poem.

I'm not exactly a poet.

My mom can help you.

I think you would be a very good poet.

Good evening, everyone.

My name is Luke, and I'm an alcoholic.

I want to welcome you to our Wednesday night New Beginnings meeting of

Alcoholics Anonymous.

You know, the most important member at any AA meeting is the newcomer, because

we can't keep what we have without giving it away.

Is there anyone here in their first 30 days who would like to get up and

introduce themselves?

Just to help us get to know you a little better.

Hi.

My name is Melvin, and I'm an alcoholic.

Hello.

Well, I'm 16 days sober, and it's been rough, so I don't know if I'm going

to make it, but sober today.

Thank you, Melvin.

Anyone else?

If not, there's something that I would like to bring up this evening.

Hi, my name is Sandra.

And I'm empty.

Nathaniel?

You don't look very happy today.

I'm not.

Did you pray last night?

Yeah. Well, did you get an answer?

Sort of. That's the problem.

I feel even worse now than I did before.

Come on with me and help plant some marigolds.

Is that supposed to make me feel better?

Uh -huh.

I'm sorry for what I did.

You go to school and learn like I said I learned.

It's not that hard once you try.

I wish I could change the way things are, but it can't be changed.

That's all right now.

I think it sounds more like a letter than a poem.

What's the difference?

Well, a poem is what you feel rather than what you think.

Mama calls it the language of the heart.

I don't even know what that means.

That means you think of Christy and you see how that makes you feel.

It makes me happy.

It makes me sad.

It makes me want to hold her and never let go.

Miss Green, you're wanted in the visiting room.

What for?

I don't know. I was just told to come and get you.

I'm sorry, Darlene.

Let's go, Dinah.

I want to stay.

Don't worry, Claire. She's safe with me, believe it or not.

Please, Donna.

Be right back.

Can I ask you a question?

Sure.

Why did you kill that man?

I don't know.

I was loaded and looking for more, and I guess he just

got in the way of me and my next fix.

I didn't even know what I was doing.

See, that's what happens when you're hooked. You'll do anything.

Anything for drugs.

Including throwing away somebody else's life.

Or your life.

Or your little girl's.

Does Christy live with your family now?

No. That wouldn't be good for her.

She has a foster family in California.

They're good to her.

Isn't there anyone here to say goodbye?

My little girl's the only one I care about.

And I love her too much to put her through that.

I'm her mother, for heaven's sakes.

She won't even see me. I'm sorry, but I don't know how I can help you. I'm only

her tutor.

You're the only one she'll talk to.

She won't speak to me. The death penalty is wrong, Mrs. Green.

That may be true, Mr. Guthrie.

But Darlene seems reconciled to dying. How can anybody be reconciled to dying?

Darlene's transformed herself, become a model prisoner.

We've got attorneys prepared to file appeals.

We'd get a stay, possibly a reduced sentence. You can't possibly have any

objections to that. Of course not.

But it's not my objection to count.

All we want you to do is talk to her.

Tell her that she's got a real good chance of living.

I'll tell her.

Please.

No matter what she decides, ask her to see me.

I wasn't much of a mother to her before.

My mother loved to turn me into a business.

Tell my story to the tabloids, go on talk shows.

Forget it. Is that why you stopped seeing her?

I stopped seeing her because she's an alcoholic who beat the tar out of me

chance she got. But they say they have lawyers that can reduce your sentence.

Don't you think I know that?

I don't want to die, Claire. I'm scared.

But I also don't want the spectacle. I don't want it for Christy. But you'd

for her.

I don't see it that way.

I want her to be free of all of this.

Everything about... me in the paper or on TV cuts into her. And I have hurt her

enough. And if I'm going to do one thing with my life, it's going to be set her

free of me.

But what about your mother?

What about her?

Isn't it time to let go of those old feelings?

When I was six years old, my mother went on a bender for five days.

I sat in my filth thinking I was going to die alone.

I will never forgive her.

Never.

Partly bad.

How about you?

Oh, I had great parts.

This part, for instance.

Been looking for this all over town. Finally found it in the junk shop.

Finally, you're both here.

I have something to tell you.

And that would be?

I don't want you to get mad at her or anything.

She's really hurting inside.

And she drinks a lot, and she's not really responsible for her own actions.

Nathaniel.

Okay.

Miss Mill kind of made me go with her yesterday.

Oh, kind of.

Kind of had a gun.

It was a toy one.

How could you lie about something like that?

I thought I was doing the right thing. Calling the police.

She's in a lot of trouble, isn't she? I think you should be thinking about how

much trouble you're in right now.

I wish you could know.

What do I want her to know?

I think you know what you want to say.

And all you have to do is just say it.

It's hard.

I wish I could tell you how sorry I am that I

can't be a part of your life.

You were the best part of mine.

That's it.

Your daughter is going to treasure that.

I really think so.

And you'll make sure that Christy gets that, right?

I will make sure she gets it.

Look, I'm not really that good at...

this kind of stuff, but, um... I want to thank you.

Look, uh... I don't want you to be there tomorrow night.

I got to do this alone from here on.

So, um... I think that we should say our goodbyes right now, okay?

Okay.

You were a better family to me in one week than she was my entire life.

I'm really glad I got to know you, darling.

Me too.

Is this what you're looking for?

I'd really like that back, please. I'm not in the habit of helping people hurt

themselves. Oh, I could really use a drink right now.

Please. You know, some people say that sooner or later an alcoholic is going to

hit bottom.

I don't believe that.

You don't hit bottom. You hit God.

Just get it!

Oh, no, no.

Now, you stop that. And you sit down right here. Now. And you stop it.

Look.

I know I drink a little.

Okay, a lot.

But... Since I lost half my family...

I needed to drink in order to sleep, you see, and it just got out of hand,

that's all.

That's a very interesting explanation, Sandra, but it's not true. And you don't

need another drink.

What you need is a change.

You need to change your mind and change your life, and you need God to help you

do it right here and right now.

And how many angels is it going to take for you to talk to him?

The other, the other angel, Monica, was real? She was real, and you were

drunk. And you just missed meeting another one. His name is Andrew.

He's the angel of death.

And he almost had a meeting with your son the other night. Matthew.

Matthew's going to survive.

But your future is not yet clear.

God has a plan for you.

There's a long, meaningful life for you and your son, but God is not going to

take you by your arm and drag you into happiness.

Happiness?

God killed my son and my husband. No, he didn't.

And you know he didn't.

God loved people so much that he gave them choices.

The choice to love him.

The choice to listen to him or the choice to drive recklessly and endanger

lives of other people, which is exactly what happened last year. Yeah.

Joe Green. Joe Green had that choice. He made that choice that day. That's for

sure. And where is he now? They let him out.

God's judgment and man's judgment are different.

Joe paid society's price and the rest of it is between him and God.

However, let me tell you this.

Joseph Green has learned something that you need to learn.

That God will show you more mercy than you show yourself.

And what does that suppose to mean?

Well, it means that you blame God. You blame Joseph Green.

But there's somebody else that you blame most, isn't there?

Me.

Listen to me, baby.

God made you.

He counts every hair on your head.

And he's aware of every drink you take and every lie you tell.

But he has the good part.

He doesn't judge you.

He still loves you.

And if you'll reach out for him, he'll be there for you. And he never will

you.

Even after what I did.

Oh, God.

If I just... What did I just tell you, darling?

Face your alcoholic problem.

Tell yourself the truth.

Tell God.

Tell the Greens. They need to know.

You see, baby, there's a whole bunch of people out there with their...

Step into the future, Hobart, and clean for your son.

Now, it's not going to be easy.

But listen to me now. Listen to me.

Where you're going, God is already there.

Yes, he is.

Mr.

Green. I'm Sandra Mills. I know exactly who you are.

I've already told the police I want you to stay as far away from this family as

is humanly possible.

I saw an angel.

She said you'd listen if I told you that.

Come on in.

I never meant to hurt anyone. I, um... I'm through making excuses.

I let everyone think that I started drinking because my family was killed.

But the truth is I started drinking

long before that. I drank alone.

And that day I made my husband take out the boys because

he just... I had my vodka bottle.

I'm an alcoholic.

And I want to apologize to you, Nathaniel. I really do. And to your

family.

I know what your brother did was an accident. It was a stupid accident, but

was an accident. And if it means anything to you at all, I've already

him.

Forgiving your brother For the death of my husband

Miss

Mills

It seems to have got a new lease on life.

It's been quite a day.

It's not over yet.

What time's the execution?

Midnight.

Dinah, aren't you going to eat anything?

I never thought it'd be this hard.

The woman murdered somebody.

I know.

But nobody should have to die without saying goodbye to the people that they

love. But didn't she write that beautiful poem to her daughter?

Yeah, she did.

But she won't forgive her own mother.

Sometimes forgiving someone seems impossible.

Sandra forgave Uncle Joe, and that was impossible.

Look how it's changed all of us. Think of how it's changed her.

She can move on now. She can change her life.

Darlene doesn't have much life left to change.

Shut up, George.

Take me back, Mama, please.

Even if it only changes her for an hour.

So, forgiveness might not change your mom, but it will change you.

Just like it did Sandra.

I know it will.

Anyway, that's why I had to come back and try just one more time.

I think that we were all supposed to meet, that we could all find

If I told you that I met the angel of death yesterday and you said the same

thing, would you laugh at me?

No.

There are a lot of things in this world I don't understand, Darlene.

Things that seem incredible or impossible.

But I do believe God uses angels.

And children.

and any willing soul in between to bring healing and forgiveness to this world.

So, let's get to work.

How do you feel?

I don't know.

Lighter somehow.

You'll make sure my mother gets that.

I can't do goodbyes again.

You know, the only thing better than forgiving is being forgiven.

This doesn't seem impossible now.

Are you ready to ask?

Is he ready to hear it?

When I cried, you couldn't hear me.

You weren't there.

When I laughed, you didn't get me.

You turned away.

When I needed to be held, you just looked at me.

I didn't get it then, but I understand it now.

You had your problems and I had mine, and we faced them in different ways.

But I want you to know, whatever else has happened, you're still my mother.

And I'm still your daughter, which makes us a family.

And families forgive each other.

I forgive you, Mom.

It's hard to say goodbye, but it's time to move on.

There's a lot waiting for you out there, so don't look back.

But just think of me sometime when the night gets cold or the day gets long and

it doesn't seem like you'll ever get where you're going.

And remember...

Even though the road is taking us to different places now, in the end I

we'll see each other again, and I'll be there waiting, ready to welcome you with

open arms.