Original subtitles

What are you guys up to? I just keep them closed.

Ta -da!

What's this?

It's a cruise ship made out of chopped liver, can't you tell?

Oh, you shouldn't have.

Well, that's what I told him. Give him a nice cake, I said. But since when does

a comedian ever listen to a waitress?

Cake isn't funny, baby. Chopped liver, that's funny.

No, I think Johnny B worked on a cruise ship. That's funny.

I'm on it, fellas, but I'll just be going around the world. I'll be back in

couple of years.

Don't be modest. When one of us hits it big, we all hit it big, huh?

That's why we're throwing you this terrific party, which Tommy is paying

Him? No kidding.

You never picked up a tab in your life.

Yes, I have. Then I gave it to Jack.

Listen, I got this great story, and I've been waiting for the right time to tell

you guys.

What kind of story? It better be funny. Yeah. Oh, very dramatic.

It's about Maury Salt. Oh, one of the great ones.

I remember his act, Salt and Pepper. Yeah.

Now, this all started about one year ago, right here, when Maury walked

that door.

Good morning.

There's somebody at my table.

I know.

I'm sorry. I tried to hurry them. I brought their coffee and eggs and check

at the same time.

You know, I'm here every day at 8 o 'clock.

If it rains, 8 o 'clock.

Very quick, 8 o 'clock.

Brush fires, 8 o 'clock.

Relax. They're finished.

Thanks. Have a good day. Thank you. Don't come back.

Rye toast and coffee, black.

Black, the toast or the coffee?

You're new here.

Listen carefully.

Every morning, 8 o 'clock, I'm going to be sitting right here.

Don't ever ask me what I want again.

I'm telling you right now, the toast and coffee, black.

Mr. Stoltz, my name is Monica, and I just wanted to... All right, all right.

Used to be.

A beloved celebrity could get his breakfast without being interrupted by

people who are supposed to bring a breakfast.

To Monica, best wishes, Maury Salt.

Thank you. You're welcome.

The toast and coffee.

Black. The coffee.

Are you sure he's a comedian, Pat? He doesn't seem very happy.

Well, funny is not the same as happy, baby.

When people hurt, they hide behind things.

And that man's been hiding for years.

He made a terrible mistake once.

And you're here to see that he doesn't make it again.

I'm ready to order now.

What kind of story is this?

And who were those women?

And why are we hearing a story about Maury Salt anyway?

Have I ever done anything without a reason?

No, that's what I'm afraid of.

Look, just calm down. Don't eat too fast and listen. This story's gonna change

your life, and that ain't chopped liver.

When you walk down the road, heavy

burden...

I will rise and I will walk with you.

I'll walk with you till the sun don't even shine.

Walk with you every time I tell you I'll walk

with you.

Believe me, I'll walk with you.

I know exactly what I want. I want either a soup or a sandwich or something

else. I'll come back, maybe.

Hey, Donna, did you hear the rumor that I've been dating a 19 -year -old girl?

No, I haven't. Who would spread a rumor like that? I did.

All right, so go on.

Yeah, there's a new waitress in the diner. So what?

I'm telling you, so an hour later, Maury's had his coffee, he's had his rye

toast, and his life is about to change forever.

There you go.

And thank you again for the best wishes.

Marty Salt, I'm your biggest fan.

Not my biggest, but certainly my worst dress.

Congratulations.

Way to go.

Oh, my God.

Hey,

Marty's going to be in the Hall of Fame.

So Maury's made it into the Hall of Fame and he's in shock.

Who wouldn't be? But his happiness is short -lived because, as you know, when

things are good, agents come out like worms after a heavy rain.

Maury, salt of the earth.

Love you, pal.

You did it. Why haven't I heard from you? It's been ten years.

Because the work you've been offered is beneath you.

You're a giant. I am so happy for us.

This isn't about you.

This is my greatest triumph.

The business may have forgotten Morisot, my agent may have forgotten Morisot,

but I've always performed for the people, and the people have not

Morisot.

You're so right.

Come, walk with me. Talk with me.

You'll headline the induction, of course.

We're still negotiating, but we're not taking one cent less than Ed.

Ed? Ed will be there?

Well, you can't be a team without a partner.

Salt and pepper, together again.

It's been 30 years.

Maury, let bygones be bygones.

Life is too short. Tell me about it.

So, how's your dear wife?

Irma died two years ago.

What? It was cancer.

Oh, Maury, I'm so sorry.

We were together right to the end.

Like it's supposed to be.

Of course.

Hey, Fred!

Listen, we'll talk later.

How are you? How's it going?

Okay, there were two major people in Maury's life. The first was his wife,

rest her soul. The second is Ed, the ex -partner. And now he's on his way back.

How come Salt -N -Pepa broke up in the first place?

Nobody ever knew.

20 years they played clubs and joints. Finally, they got the Sullivan Show.

Then, their own TV series. They were going to be huge.

And poof, they split up.

Just like that.

Well, I remember this.

One day, they were big news.

And then the next day, Ed quits the business and moved to Kansas or Iowa,

someplace where they grow corn. And Maury never spoke Ed's name out loud

Then last year, they had a big reunion at some press conference, right?

For the Hall of Fame.

Now can I tell my story?

It was supposed to be a new beginning, and it turns out to be the beginning of

the end.

Well, when I got the call, I was very surprised and very happy.

My years with Maury as Salt -N -Pepa were very happy.

And I'm happy to be reunited with him.

I guess I'm just happy.

Hello, Mr. Salt.

The waitress.

Yeah, sure.

Now she knows who I am.

What are you doing here?

The diner's catering your show. Thought I'd come and have a peek.

Shouldn't you be out there?

You're not nervous, are you?

Nervous?

It's called making an entrance.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Mr. Mori Salt.

You look great, Mori.

You made me wait 30 years. I figured I could make him wait 30 minutes.

How you been, Mori? Great, just great.

Maury, how does it feel to be back together with Ed after all these years?

Ed and I have always had a love -hate relationship. He loves me, and I hate

Uh -huh, uh -huh, uh -huh. Ed, why did Salt -N -Pepa break up in the late 60s,

right at the pinnacle of your career?

Well... I'll answer that.

We've all heard the rumors about what happened to us, and I want to address

right now.

Supposedly, Ed deserted the partnership without explanation.

The truth is, and this is difficult to admit,

It was my fault.

I have a drinking problem.

What? I'm working on it.

Save it for the show.

You should be happy one of us is being funny.

Why aren't they happy to see each other?

Maybe they are, and that's the only way they know how to show it.

They talk to each other, but they don't really speak to each other.

Well, humans have trouble communicating their real feelings.

Sometimes it's worse with men.

Wait a minute. Who is this other woman with weights?

I'll get to that. They have this thing now. It's called patience.

This won't be easy, baby.

They don't seem to like each other very much.

Why should we get them back together?

Because some things belong together. The moon and the stars.

A knife and a fork.

Salt and pepper.

I'll do my best, Tess.

But it may take some time.

There is no time, baby.

Maury? Ed?

I heard about Irma. I'm sorry.

She was in a lot of pain.

Yeah, it must have been hard to say goodbye.

I think we should do the horse costume bit.

Well, whatever, as long as you're the back this time. Me? You were the back

25 years. So now it's your turn.

You can't be the front.

The front has to be funny.

The back just has to be an S. You're natural.

Hello.

Oh. Hello, I'm Monica.

I'm Maury's partner, Ed.

Ah, yes, Ed Pepper.

No, Ed Yablonski.

But Salt and Jablonski didn't sound right.

I see.

Excuse me, Mr. Salt.

May I have a word with you, please?

Sure. Why not?

Babe.

Babe.

Forgive me for saying so, but I think you owe it to your fans to put on a

show. And that would require teamwork, what with you two being a team and all.

So you're an expert on teamwork, too?

I know a few things about working with others, yes.

Waitress, actress, I get.

But waitress, cheerleader?

Please, give just a little.

Okay.

Just a little.

All right, I forgive you.

What? In an effort to keep the peace, I will be the back of the horse if we also

do... Little red riding hood. Not if I have to be the wolf. The kids throw

things at me.

What about the psychic bit?

No, you roll your eyes.

The podiatrist and the bunion.

Cowboys and Indians.

Perpetuating a stereotype.

Little boy left home alone.

Child endangerment.

Siamese twins.

Politically incorrect.

30 years.

Just as stubborn as ever.

I knew this was a mistake. Goodbye, Maury.

Go ahead. Walk out on me again.

I don't need you. I can take somebody off the street and make them a star.

Fine. Go ahead.

Fine. I will.

You!

Your new partner.

Now, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let me get this straight.

They get back together, just in time to break up again.

And then Maury takes on a new partner who knows nothing about comedy. Oh, I

this story.

I don't get it. It's crazy.

And it gets crazier.

Are you getting this, Johnny? I'm with you, baby.

Now, there's only a few days till a Hall of Fame induction.

Millions of people will be watching this show.

And Maury Salt has but a matter of hours to teach his new partner how to be

funny.

Mr. Salt.

Maury. If you're funny, you can call me Maury. Maury, I don't know anything

about telling jokes.

You have to try.

Ed and I are finished.

Kaput. Toast. Done. Over.

Yesterday's papers.

I understand.

History.

I had one more.

Well, if you think I can be of some help... Good.

Lesson number one.

Comedy is 80 % surprise. People laugh as an involuntary reaction to hearing

something clever they didn't expect.

And what's the other 20 %?

Truth. You have to have some truth so people can relate.

Are you good with truth?

Well, yes. That's my specialty.

Good. Here are your jokes.

Lesson number two, you have to take your punchline and throw it away.

Throw it away?

Yeah, just throw it away.

Take her a speech. Never mind.

Let's see if you can tell a joke.

Start at the top.

A rabbi, a priest, and a minister go on a roller coaster.

Okay, you have to say the punchline.

See, the setup is not funny.

Well, I wouldn't be comfortable saying that. Now, that's against my personal

beliefs.

Monica, jokes are funny.

Beliefs are not funny.

Okay, skip down to the next one.

Um, a traveling salesman gets a flat tire and walks to a farmhouse. He knocks

the door. The farmer's daughter opens the door.

Oh, that's a bit suggestive, isn't it?

Okay.

Skip, skip, skip.

No, no, no. Keep skipping.

I'll have the chicken of the day.

How's it prepared?

Today it's fried.

Uh -oh.

Come on, Jack.

Hey, you know I'm watching my cholesterol.

You want me to drop dead?

Let's take a vote. Yes.

Oh, God.

Look, can we just get the story over with? Okay, so now it's two days before

big show, and Maury has to put Monica in front of an audience first.

So he signs her up for open mic night.

Oh. How you doing tonight, sir? Looks like the skin graft is taking.

All right.

Keep the blood flow moving to that and you're in trouble, okay? Get a map in

there, too. People are looking for help.

What is this? We got some Olympians over here, huh?

You ever been in the Olympics?

No, sir. I don't think so. The only thing they could use you for is to stop

skiers at the end, man.

You're not nervous, are you?

Well, this man is so rude and everybody's laughing at him.

Well, baby, some people use laughter to heal.

And some people use it to hide their feelings.

Feelings come through anyway.

Like this man. He's angry.

And so he's using comedy as an excuse to lash out at people.

Just don't forget that behind every comic is a sensitive soul.

And just let your feelings come out.

Talk about what you know.

Hey, fear not.

For thou shalt be funny.

Oh, well.

I can't do it anymore. This crowd, get out of here. I'm leaving.

Ladies and gentlemen, Johnny Meschke.

Now, I'd like to introduce a young woman who will be performing as my partner at

the Comedy Hall of Fame this Saturday.

It's the first time before a live audience, so be nice.

You can turn ugly.

Presenting Monica!

Thank you.

Hello.

My name is Monica, and maybe as you can guess from the way I talk, I'm not from

around here.

I'm from Pittsburgh.

Well,

One joke in and I'm already making progress Speaking of progress

If pro is the opposite of con what is the opposite of

progress Congress

Well, you know there's a lot

happening in Congress right now

Today, for instance, they were discussing poultry futures, and I was

that the thing that would make a chicken's future happier is if they just

crossing the road.

Hey, lady, get off the stage.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Do you need it?

Oh, no, that wasn't a joke.

That was the truth.

Truth. Truth.

Go with it.

Well, you see, obviously I'm not much of a joke teller.

I'm not even an entertainer.

As a matter of fact, I'm an angel.

Mr. Salt here is my assignment, and you see, we were going to do this comedy

routine together, but we couldn't agree on what to do.

You see, in heaven, nothing is done at someone else's expense, and it doesn't

have to be here on Earth either.

You don't need to step on those beneath you in order to get ahead. In fact, it

works just the opposite way.

Now, I don't want to keep you. I know I'm interrupting your supper, but

remember, if you stop to help others, it's you who will be helped.

So be nice to someone today, please.

It's really catching.

Thank you.

What was that?

I was telling the truth.

And the truth is that you're an angel?

Yes.

Okay. Next time, less truth and more jokes.

Oh, hello, Maury. Listen, it was her first time out. She's going to improve.

Give her a break. No, it was a very interesting bit. Did you see the

They weren't laughing, but they were paying attention.

You're not funny, but they like you.

Oh, thank you.

So, you come by here hoping to see our A material so you could steal it?

No, Maury.

I got to thinking. You got a new partner.

I got a new partner, too.

Hey. Hey.

This kid recognized me in the parking lot.

Told me he wants to break into the business. He's got a great deadpan

He'll kill the people.

Over here.

Well, gotta go to work. See you later.

Bye -bye.

Do that again.

That's funny.

You know that guy?

Andrew, yes, I do.

I don't recognize him.

Looks so serious.

Is he a professional comic?

No, he's not.

Well, then.

We may have our problems, but it looks like Ed's gonna die up on that stage.

I believe that's a distinct possibility.

So, uh, who's this Andrew guy?

Well, you may not believe this, but he's the Angel of Death. Hey, wait a minute.

I've seen the Angel of Death.

Yeah? Yeah, sitting up front doing your act.

Anyway, Monica goes to rehearsal.

And she's on a mission from God.

You're late.

We only have two hours before Ed and that guy get the stage.

I know Ed. He's going to try to steal our best routines for himself.

He would do that?

It's despicable, isn't it? That's why we're going to steal them first.

I'm trying to picture how you two got together in the first place.

Sixty years ago, I was a kid working as a stagehand in the last vaudeville

theater in America, right here in Hollywood.

One day, the house comedian quit, and they asked me if I wanted the job, and

paid more than being a stagehand, so I said yes.

I often wondered what would have happened if the animal act had quit

So I went out and bombed, of course, which was bad enough, but made worse by

loudmouth in the audience who heckled me.

Ed. Ed.

Enough with the stroll down memory lane.

We've got a show to rehearse.

I can't do it, Mr. Salt.

Your rightful place is with Ed. You two are being honored as a team.

You should perform as a team.

Did he put you up to this?

No, of course not.

The coward. Never could speak for himself.

Have you ever told Ed that you loved him?

What, are you crazy?

Who talks like that?

There's nothing crazy about one person loving another.

I don't love him.

As a matter of fact, I hate him.

Why? For breaking up the act? For ruining my career.

We were right there.

Abbott and Costello.

Laurel and Hardy.

Salt and Pepper.

And he just walked away.

Just like that.

Like it all meant nothing.

I spent 30 years just trying to stay in the business.

I did a gun smoke with a horse that hated comics.

Three years on Hollywood squares.

Nobody called me.

I fell off my garage roof trying to get on America's funniest videos.

When Ed walked out on the act, he didn't just ruin my career.

He ruined my life.

There must be some part of you that still cares for Ed.

You're starting to sound like Irma.

Right to the end, she was pushing for me and Ed to get together again.

Irma sounds like a very special person.

She was. She was.

Tell me, Monica.

Why do women think every problem can be solved by talking?

If you don't talk about your feelings, how can you deal with them?

Just because you ignore them doesn't make them go away.

Sometimes, the most painful words are those that are not spoken.

Don't you think?

What would happen if Ed were suddenly gone?

What if he was?

It can be terribly difficult when you don't get a chance to say goodbye.

Are you trying to tell me...

That there's something wrong with Ed.

So how does she know all this?

She's an angel, remember?

This isn't going to get all mushy and sentimental on us, is it?

Who's telling this story?

So go on.

Monica, the so -called angel, tells Maury he has to stick by Ed because

he's dying.

That's right. So Maury decides he's going to make peace.

Okay, thanks.

Oh, come by to make fun of my act, huh?

No.

I think we should bury the hatchet and do the show together like the old days.

Ah, she wasn't funny, huh?

Monica, she's an angel. You're a dirty old man, Maury.

Now, what am I supposed to tell this kid, Andrew?

Tell him you came to your senses.

It's a joke. You're a comedian.

Feel free to have a sense of humor. I have a sense of humor. You, however.

Truce?

Truce?

Truce.

Hello,

doctor. And how are you today, Mr.

Hassenpfeffer? I hope you could help me. Let me see your wallet.

What for?

I want to know how sick you are.

Have a seat.

What seems to be your problem?

Well, you're a foot doctor. It's probably not my shoulder.

Ah, the Queen Mary.

Where'd you get this?

At the boat show?

How does this feel?

It feels fine.

You're cured already.

No, doctor, you got the wrong foot.

Ah, the shoe's on the other foot.

Hey, hey, hey, Murray.

That's not the way the skit goes.

That's the way it goes.

You just don't remember. I remember. You're just trying to make me look bad.

You, Monica, what do you think?

Well, I think it would be wonderful if you did something that no one had ever

seen before.

Something new, something special.

Do you have anything like that?

That's it. I'm a genius. We do the what makes God laugh routine.

Absolutely not. We never performed it.

That's because one of us walked out. I'm not naming names, but it rhymes with

Yabonski. It's a good thing one of us came to his senses.

You never had a sensible bone in your body. What?

I'm the only reason why we're here. You?

You've always been just the back half of the horse. You can't talk to me like

that. I'm the... I'm... Ed.

Ed.

Help! Help!

Are you

okay,

Johnny? Yeah, sure. I just... I've got a lot on my plate right now.

That's a lot more than I can say. Where's Donna?

She made her wait so long, she got her own series.

Nice. Nice.

Okay. So the ambulance is on its way. Ed's on the floor and he's on his last

leg, but he's still doing better than Maury.

Ed,

I know that you can hear me, but don't try to talk. Just listen. I'll just

listen. I won't say a thing.

It's talking.

Yes, it was. That was talking.

Sorry.

Ed, you and I didn't meet a few days ago.

We met years ago.

Do you remember?

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Ed,

you have nothing to fear.

Where you're going, there is no pain.

And it is more beautiful than you can even imagine.

But first,

You have some things to complete here on this earth.

Salt -N -Pepa was the greatest time in your life, wasn't it?

And giving it up was the hardest thing you've ever had to do.

I should have kept my mouth shut.

No.

Ed needs you now, and you need him.

Time to open yourself up.

No.

I realize that Maury is not the easiest person in the world to get along with.

But there's something that you owe him, Ed, don't you?

The truth.

And this is the last chance you have to give it to him.

It's too late.

No. No, it's not too late.

God will give you the strength if you ask him. I didn't want to leave you

It's your heart.

Thank you, Dr.

Salt. I know it's my heart. I've known for 30 years.

30 years?

Ed, why didn't you tell me?

Yes, sir.

30 years ago,

I started getting pain.

Doctor said it was my heart.

And that the stress of doing a TV series would kill me.

So you broke up the act?

Oh, my God. Why did you just tell me the truth? I didn't want you to feel sorry

for me. I wanted you to hate me.

I used that anger to turn into your own act.

But why?

I thought if I left soon enough, before we were forever teamed by television,

that you'd have time to start over.

But you didn't, you idiot.

You wasted your talent sitting in a giant tic -tac.

toe game. You could have been big, but you blew it.

I gave you my chance of a lifetime, and you blew it.

I spent the last 30 years blaming you for everything, but you didn't quit to

destroy me.

You quit to help me.

I'm so ashamed.

Good, but remember what we said in Vaudeville.

You can't carry a grudge and juggle at the same time.

Driver, hurry up.

Don't worry, baby.

I'll get you where you need to go.

I don't want you waiting around the hospital. You got a show to do. I'm not

going to the show. I'm staying with you. Don't worry.

The show must go on.

No.

I already made the mistake of leaving that once.

I knew I was bad, but I had a supermarket opening in Arizona.

I thought she'd be there when I got back.

I was wrong.

I wasn't there when she died.

A lot of life passes you by when you're on the road, but that's who we are.

I've missed graduations, birthdays, weddings.

I never got a chance to say goodbye to her, but I'm not

going to make the same mistake with my best friend.

I don't know if I ever told you this, Ed, but... Hey!

We're going through the old neighborhood right now.

No, you never told me that before.

Yeah.

We're less than a mile from where we met.

Look.

Help me out of this. No, no.

I don't mean look. Look.

You need to get to the hospital.

Maury.

It's going to be this week, next week. What's the difference?

I want to see the old neighborhood one more time with my best friend.

Driver, he wants to sit up.

He wants to get out.

I'll pull over to the curb. You help him up.

Thank you, driver.

Thank God, baby.

So Maury takes Ed back to where they first met.

I thought they met at some old Warville theater.

They did, but it got torn down 30 years ago. Know what's there now?

This place.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

It's a good thing you were here to let us in. Yeah, you know what they say

timing. It's everything.

Well, timing is very important in my line of work as well.

The stage was right about here.

Yeah, and that means I was heckling you from right about here.

Yeah, and that means when I came after you, you ran to right about here.

Uh -oh.

Monica, could you bring us some water?

I'd rather have an egg cream.

Oh, I don't know that we have those, but we might have some egg salad.

She's not from around here. I remember.

Pittsburgh.

You're Maury's angel.

Yes.

And I'm your angel, too.

Wait a minute. What is this?

I thought it was a joke.

So did I.

No, it's the truth.

One hundred percent.

And I have a message for you, Ed.

A message from God.

Yeah. I know what it is.

God knows I messed up. I tried to save Maury's career and I ruined it. God

what's in your heart, Ed.

And he knows what you're feeling, Maury.

But I have learned that men sometimes have a problem sharing their real

with each other.

You know, I talk about sports, business, girls, telling the latest joke.

Instead of...

sharing with each other the pain that's in their hearts or the fear that's in

their souls.

I know what makes God laugh and I know what makes God cry.

When his children hurt, God weeps, breaks his heart.

And if God can show his emotions in that way, why can't you?

Maury had his own choices to make.

You are not responsible for them.

God loves you, Ed Jablonski.

And he's waiting to tell you that himself.

God knows me? God loves me?

Yes, he does, very much.

God holds a special place for those who provide the gift of laughter.

And God has a request to make.

He wants to hear your routine.

What makes God laugh?

I'm not sure I can remember it all.

So wing it.

No offense.

Boy, talk about a command performer.

Oh, well, all right.

He's salt. He's pepper. That makes us salt and pepper.

Maury Salt, live on the street with the first live interview with a real angel.

If you don't mind, I have some burning questions.

Burning questions are for the other side.

Of course. Scratch that.

Tell me, everybody wants to know, what's heaven like?

Well, it's not all clouds and harps. As a matter of fact, we're thinking about

redecorating. Everybody's tired of that southwestern motif.

May I ask, what is God like?

All -knowing, all -seeing, all -powerful. Wow.

Is there anything God doesn't understand?

Yes, actually, there is. Really?

What? Chat rooms on the Internet.

Topical humor.

Nice touch.

Thank you.

So tell me, why did you come down to Earth?

To escort a departed soul?

Offer aid to the unfortunate?

Perform a miracle?

No. Actually, it was to ask a legal question.

What? You came all the way down here to talk to a lawyer?

Well, you don't expect me to find one up there, do you?

One final question.

I love golf.

Are there any golf courses in heaven?

This is your lucky day. The finest course you'll ever see.

Here's the bad news. You tee off next Tuesday.

I think God just laughed.

So, everybody's not a critic.

Okay, God, I got another one for you.

Go ahead. Timing is... Oh.

You were right, Ed.

I could have done better.

I should have done better.

And I'm gonna.

I swear.

No more excuses.

People are gonna remember you, Ed.

Remember us.

Salt and Pepper.

The greatest comedy team that ever was.

I love you, Ed.

I love you too, Maury.

Thank you.

I'm glad you stayed.

Tell me you made this whole thing up.

I swear it's true.

Everything but the angels, right?

Especially the angels.

Are you going to ask us to believe that there really are angels?

I'm telling you an angel from God himself told me this story.

You're serious?

Angels with wings and halos?

Hey, say it happened. Why?

You tell me why an angel would want me to tell you a story about not being

honest with your friends.

How'd you know?

I called the cruise line because I want that bottle of champagne put in your

stateroom. All I know is they said you weren't booked there.

Hey, hey, hey, what are you two talking about?

Yeah, what gives, Johnny?

We're your friends.

Whatever the truth is, you can tell us.

Okay, okay.

I don't really have a cruise ship gig.

Well, now tell us something we don't know.

Hey, man, talk to us.

You know how tired I've been feeling lately?

Well, I finally went to a doctor.

And he told you you're getting old. Join the club.

I wish that was all.

I... I have cancer.

Oh, jeez.

Johnny, man, why didn't you tell us?

I just couldn't.

I mean, we don't talk to each other about things like that. We joke around.

It wasn't funny.

Well, if you're not going on a cruise, then what?

Three months of chemo?

Start tomorrow.

Ooh.

Hey, man.

Listen, whatever happens, whatever goes down, we're gonna be there for you.

Whatever you need, man.

We're the ones you call. You got it, pal.

Thanks.

Thanks.

All of you.

But do me a favor, okay? Let's keep this quiet, because if it gets out, ain't

nobody gonna ever hire me.

Don't worry about that.

Hi. Hey, Donna, how are you?

Hello, boys.

Jackie, Tommy, Johnny B.

Well, you've been hiding yourself.

Well, actually, I've been... He hasn't been hiding. He's been working a lot. As

a matter of fact, he's leaving for a gig right now.

Oh. Yeah, he's headlining on a cruise ship. That's right.

Free food, bikinis.

We won't be seeing him for a while.

But he'll be back.

If that's so, come walk with me. Talk with me.

You know, I've been thinking about this for months now.

Are you looking for a new agent?

Maybe.

I love you guys.

We're still splitting this check for a way.

You know, if there were angels in the story, they'd be right here at this

Look, I got this idea that you told me about.

Well? He was close.