Original subtitles

Thank you.

Crazy or something?

Harry, you're on the wagon.

Me? Who says?

I do.

Now, look, I've known you for a long time. Don't give me any trouble. I like

you. You're a nice fella. But it's got to be done.

Why?

Because I'm getting paid for it. That's the way it is.

Harry, you... Just had your last drink.

I got a better idea, Josh.

Yeah, what's that?

Kill me.

Kill me.

Uh -uh.

Just one? Uh -uh.

What'll my old friend think? Get new friends.

Let's go.

He the one that hired you?

I might have known.

Now, look, you're going to have me running around here like a chicken with

head cut off. Now, come on. But you don't know what you're doing. Harry,

only take a second. She wants to talk to you. In fact, the woman's only got one

thing on a female, and I haven't much.

Come on, Harry.

You're not the only woman I have to pick on me. I'm not the only eligible drunk

in town.

Can I have one drink?

Hello, Harry.

The answer is still no. I'm not going to marry you.

Uh -oh.

Benedict Arnold.

I've been worried about you, Harry.

You've been missing six days.

I haven't been missing anything. And if it wasn't for my ex -friend over here...

This telegram arrived for you the morning you left.

It's why I hired Mr. Randall to bring you back.

It's from your brother, Alfred.

Tear it up. Burn it. I don't care what you do with it. But he's your only kin,

your own brother.

And you haven't seen or heard from him in 15 years. I could wait another 15

years.

He'll be here on next week's stage from St. Louis.

What?

He's coming to visit you.

Not me.

Blood's thicker than water, Harry. And so is whiskey.

When the stage arrives in Carson City, he'll get the telegram I sent.

You sent?

In your name, Harry.

Saying you were looking forward to his arrival.

Oh, no.

But I thought it the right thing to do.

So you see, Harry, it's time for a change.

The very latest from Chicago.

Now, wait.

Well, you wouldn't want your brother to find you in this condition.

He's not going to find me in any condition. That blue -nosed, stuffed

sanctimonious teetotaler.

Oh, no.

Oh, Josh, please.

Me too, Harry. And that's not all.

I'm giving you your old job back here in the store starting tomorrow morning.

No. You're going to be a real gentleman, Harry.

I don't want to be a real gentleman. The most respectable man in Clarksville.

No. A new man from top to bottom.

No.

Now, look, Harry, I gotta go to the hotel and check out. I'll be right back,

yeah? You leaving town?

Nope, coming out and moving in with you.

And, uh, Harry, don't you go running off on me now, huh?

Oh, you know I wouldn't try anything.

Yeah, I don't think so.

Unless you plan on pulling that barber chair off with you.

Take good care of my friend now, yeah?

That woman's been here. Yeah, seems that way, don't it?

She's ruined it.

First me, and then the house.

Is it anything sacred?

Well, your brother's gonna be impressed. I don't want to impress him. I don't

even want to see him.

He didn't approve of me 15 years ago. He don't have to approve now.

I was willing not to let bygones be bygones.

Now that woman goes and spoils everything.

Oh, I don't know. Harry seems to me she's trying to help you out.

Help? You think she's doing it for my brother's sake?

She's setting up a trap for me to marry her.

Well, you've got a mind of your own. Not when I'm sober.

Yeah, well, from what I understand, marriage isn't too bad.

You're a respectable bachelor talking like that.

I'm ashamed of you.

This one's due here. You want some?

I want a drink.

I'm sure you don't want some of this, too.

Are you cooking?

I'd rather starve first. Well, suit yourself.

I'll start starving tomorrow.

up this area.

I guess I was walking in my sleep.

Better get some of this coffee inside of you, Harry.

Come on. You're going to be late for work.

I'm awful sick, Josh.

Yeah? What's the matter?

Matter?

Did you hear that?

What? Josh, it's just terrible. Here in the chest.

That don't sound too bad to me.

Oh, it's awful.

I know a man who died from the same thing.

And he was stronger and younger than me.

And a lot taller, too.

I got a mustard plaster in my pack. Oh, no, no, no, no. Put it on right now.

It's the worst thing in the world for a chest like this.

I'll just lay here and try to last while you get Doc Williams.

Well, even an ex -friend wouldn't just stand there and let a man die.

All right, Harry, you win.

We'll ride in and see Dr. Williams.

I just hope we make it in time. Yeah, I do, too.

Sayon.

I understand your brother will be here next week.

What did you say?

I said I was sick enough.

Oh.

The cough is way down deep here in my chest where you can't see it.

If you don't give me something for the cough, I'll hack myself to death.

Now, let's see. What can we give you?

How about that special medicine of yours, Doc? You know, the one with the

special painkiller in it?

Remember you gave it to me last winter?

I remember, all right.

It was just what the doctor ordered. She ordered me just like that.

Oh, it was a bigger bottle than that, Doc. You can come in any time for a

refill.

Well, you're the doctor.

Guess I'd better have a swig.

I mean, here's to you.

There's nothing in that medicine but medicine.

Yeah, but it sure cured your cough and the hurt, didn't it? You like that? What

kind of a doctor are you? Stuff like this can make a man sick.

And I want to thank you very much for going to all this trouble.

Hey, you put down that rifle, Harry, right now.

Give me that rifle, Harry. Don't you hurry me.

I've taken all I can take.

I'm so shaky now, I might pull this trigger.

I love it.

He just might.

He might?

Go on. Get in the closet.

Get in the closet. You too, Doc. All right. Take it easy, Harry.

Be right here.

This is the way I'm gonna go to get shot by a drunken sheep.

Mr. Randall?

Mr. Randall, where's Harry?

He got away from me.

And I'll tell you the truth, man, the way I feel right now, I'd just as soon

this... I know.

I know.

Mr. Randall, you might try Smith's Landing.

Yeah, Olaf. Why?

It's the biggest saloon in the county.

That ought to be good.

That I'll really be good.

The first is for my brother, little Alfred, who asked for it.

The second was for that woman, thought she could trap Harry Simmons.

Now this one is for Josh Rand, my next

friend, who can go to... That's it, Harry.

I'm awful solid, you Josh.

Okay, Harry, come on. Let's go home right now.

Them's fighting words.

Come on.

Put up your zeux.

Now, come on, Harry.

Why don't you get out there and get on your horse and you and I will ride on

home, huh?

All right?

Now, come on, Harry. Let's start.

All right.

You asked for it.

Now look, Harry. If you just wait one second, Harry.

Look,

Harry. Take this.

You want to fight like that?

Now look, Harry.

We're going to go home right now.

Yeah, Harry.

I believe I had enough.

Oh.

Oh, sick.

Whoa.

Yeah, I imagine so.

Awful sick.

Last night in the saloon, why didn't you beat my brains?

Well, I'll tell you the truth, Harry. Besides the money I'm getting paid for

this job, I'd kind of like to help you if I could.

Yeah.

You want to help, Josh.

You're a real friend.

And Emily, she wants to help, too.

Both of you.

You're real friends.

I've been so wrong.

Oh.

I'll never touch another drop if I live.

Josh, you better send for the preacher.

And Emily, too.

Tell her to bring the marriage license.

Rawr!

I'm so excited, I don't quite know what to do. Calm yourself, dear.

I wouldn't want my brother to get the impression that I was married to a

woman.

Now, would I?

No, dear.

Oh, and please arrange your hair.

All right?

Yes, dear.

Now, shall we greet Alfred?

Oh, my coat.

What sort of a stage line are you running?

I was expecting my brother Alfred. I demand to know what happened.

Come on, Alfred.

Oh,

now, Harry.

Give me the bottle, Alfred.

Now, don't worry, dear.

What Alfred needs is the guidance of an understanding brother.

I may be a little hard with him, but after all, a habit like he has, well,

takes some doing to break.

Yes, Harry.

Perhaps Josh could help us with him.

No, ma 'am.

But I'm willing to pay you double what... No, ma 'am, I...