Original subtitles

BOY: (WHISPERING) Pass it to Anna.

GIRL: (WHISPERING) Pass it to Anna.

GIRL 2: (WHISPERING) Pass it to Anna.

GIRL 3: (WHISPERING) Anna?

MAYA: Oh, my God, you always get a note.

ANNA: (WHISPERING) Shut up!

BRENDAN: "Yo, what's up?"

(BRENDAN READING)

"Tight. B."

Oh, my God! You have to go.

(MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS PLAYING)

That's how it happens, Anna.

Mmm. What happens?

Maya.

(MOCKING)

MR. WYZELL: All right.

Page one. Section A.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa...

(MR. WYZELL SPEAKING SPANISH)

I'm serious. Stop!

All right. We got a lot to get to. Come on.

One. Two.

Can I go to the bathroom?

(MUFFLED LAUGHTER)

I'll hold it.

You know what?

I actually need to go really bad.

♪ High

♪ I am high

♪ The you I show to you

♪ Is just a lie

♪ You take what you want

♪ You get what you take

♪ The high, high, high ♪

Wassup, Maya?

We're going. (CHUCKLES)

I don't know yet.

Oh, my God. Na, I feel like everyone's staring...

No, they're not.

They're already hooking up.

That's her friend Maya.

Oh, my God, they're talking about us.

Oh, my God, stop.

Shh! He's right there. He's right there. No, he's...

ANNA: He's right there. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

I'm serious. Please, stop. Please.

Don't look.

Hey. Oh, hey.

So, are you... Are you coming tomorrow night?

Um, I think so.

What's the movie about?

It's about hairless wild snatch.

Ew!

What?

I actually saw it in the theaters,

and I jizzled all over the place.

Really? Shut up!

So, are you in?

Um, okay. Well, can Maya come?

No, I don't care.

Uh, yeah. Sure.

Cool. Tight.

Cool. We'll see you tomorrow. Okay.

MAYA: Bye. Bye.

MAYA: Five, six, seven, eight.

(SINGING)

♪ Why, oh, why

♪ Hey, hey, hey

♪ I wanna be...

♪ You gotta be bold

♪ You gotta be wiser

♪ You got be tough You got to be strong

♪ You got to be calmer ♪

You don't wanna do it anymore?

What? Keep going. You don't wanna do it? No.

What if Brendan wants to kiss me tomorrow?

I don't know if I want to.

You don't?

He tried last time, and it just felt, like, really weird and unnatural,

but it's like, "Why? I'm hot. He's hot." Like...

I think he's gonna.

Maybe it's gonna feel natural on Saturday.

Like, it won't be as weird as that time.

Maybe.

Anna, it's so simple, like...

It's like, this. Like...

I don't know. You know what I mean.

Yeah, that looks good.

You have to do with tongue.

Kinda small head. (CHUCKLES) (MAYA KISSING)

(SUCKING AIR)

(MOANING)

Stop it. (DOOR OPENS)

Hey, Anna, did you... (SCREAMS) Dad! Get out!

(MAYA SHRIEKS)

Maya! Please, get out!

No! ANNA: Maya is, like, naked!

I'm just looking for my Discman. Dad, get out!

MAYA: Get out!

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

I don't think I'm gonna go tomorrow.

Hmm?

I don't think I'm gonna go.

Why?

'Cause I'm not invited.

Yes, you are.

No, I'm not.

You asked. Brendan didn't actually invite me.

Oh, my God. You always do this.

He just said you're going, so that means you're invited.

Yeah, but you're gonna be, like, off making out with him,

and I'm just gonna be, like, sitting there by myself.

Why don't you find somebody to go with you?

Like who?

Flymiamibro's at, like, a computer conference this weekend in Tucson.

I don't know. You could ask one of the guys from soccer practice.

Mmm.

(GROANS) No.

(WHISTLES BLOWS)

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

Maya. Just do this thing.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

(GROANS)

Did you get anybody? No.

Literally, no one will even look at me, like...

Aww! I'm sure that's not true.

BOY: Yeah!

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

MAYA: Na, can you, like, focus?

You're, like, off in Brendan-land waving it up.

Maya, I'm, like, waving at my BF. Like, just chill.

Whatever.

Why don't you just go ask Sam?

Stop.

Like... No, I don't want to...

Not to, like, hook up. Just to hang with.

(BOYS SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

ANNA: Please.

Go. Come on. Fine. Whatever.

Be nice. I am nice.

Hey, turd-hole.

Practicing with all your friends?

Ha-ha-ha. What do you want?

Um, are you going to, uh...

That movie thing or whatever tonight?

What movie? Wild Things. At Brendan's, like...

Yeah. Why? (CHUCKLES)

Well... JENNA: Oh, my gosh! Wow, Sam!

You're, like, really good at that.

Oh, thanks, Jenna. It's just dribblin'.

Wait, what? Are you guys serious?

(SCOFFS) Oh, my God!

Dribbling's in basketball, moron, like...

No.

It's in soccer.

Dribbling is in soccer, too. Yep.

That's what it's called, dribbling.

So, Jenna, a bunch of us are going to Brendan Tooler's place tonight

to watch Wild Things. It's going to be fun.

You should come. Um, yeah.

Okay. That sounds fun.

Maybe you can show me some of your moves there.

Well, there is not gonna be soccer practice,

so that literally makes zero sense.

Um, cool, yeah.

See you there. All right.

Okay, I'm sorry, but she was actually not invited.

I think it's really weird that she'd show up.

Like, it's psycho, Sam.

I don't know why you're being such a biatch,

but she's actually pretty nice.

(SCOFFS)

Nice wedgie, dumbnuts.

I'm freaking nice, too.

And this is the den where we watch movies,

and sometimes, I play video games.

ANNA: Oh, my God, it's so cool. (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

MAYA: Yeah. No, it's not. It's a duck.

Wild thang!

Mmm-mmm.

What's up?

Hey. 'Sup! 'Sup! 'Sup!

(CHUCKLES) JK. What's up, Skyler?

Hey. Who's ready for some snacks?

ANNA: Oh, my gosh.

Hi, Mrs. Tooler.

Hi, I'm Anna Kone.

Anna. I've heard so much about you!

I've heard so much about you.

Oh, Anna, you are just adorable.

Brendan, you talk about her all the time,

but you didn't say how adorable she is.

Mom, leave.

Um, your den is so stunning! Yeah.

So polite.

She's a keeper, Brendy.

I'm gonna stick your head in the oven, Mom, if you don't shut up.

Okay. I can take a hint.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

That must be cousin Richard. I'll go let him in.

Go.

Your mom is really sweet.

Yeah. I love her.

Hey. BRENDAN: Hey.

Oh, my God. BRENDAN: Everyone,

this is Cousin Richard.

You got the movie? RICHARD: Yeah.

Used my bro's ID.

They bought it. (ANNA SNICKERS)

Why do you need an ID?

'Cause it's like X-rated, I think.

I thought this was about animals.

Well, there are beavers in it.

Oh, my God, Sam! You're, like, so funny.

So let's get the party started.

Ladies and germs,

tonight's feature film stars Matt Dillon,

Kevin Bacon, Denise Richards, Denise Richards' blammos,

and Neve Campbell.

It is rated "R"

for adult language and sexual situations.

Yes! BRENDAN: Let's go.

Yeah.

With a runtime of 108 minutes including credits,

which you wanna stick around for,

I give you Wild Things.

(ALL CHEERING) Yeah, this is good.

(TAPE WHIRRING)

(MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)

(MOUTHING)

(MAN TALKING INDISTINCTLY ON TV)

(WHISPERS) Switch seats with me.

Why?

So you'll be closer to...

Shh!

(CHUCKLING) You can sit beside Brendan.

ANNA: No.

Yes.

(CHEERING ON TV)

(SINGING INDISTINCTLY)

So who's washing your Jeep this weekend, Mr. Lombardo?

LOMBARDO: Washing that old Jeep of mine is sort of waste of time.

Don't you think? KELLY: Not at all.

(LAUGHTER)

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION ON TV)

(INDISTINCT WHISPERING)

(WHISPERING) Brendan wants to hook up with Anna.

Brendan wants to hook up with you.

No, he doesn't. Yes. He does.

Listen. Cousin Richard literally just told me.

(INAUDIBLE)

My God, go! Go follow him.

No! No.

MAYA: Go! Go! You should go follow him.

Go. It's now or never. Go.

Come with me. Come with me.

No, let her go. I'm letting them go, Jenna.

Jenna, shut up!

Will you please come with me? MAYA: No.

I'm gonna be there with you in your head the whole...

Move.

Go! (WHISPERING EXCITEDLY)

Bye.

They're gonna get it on tonight. Oh, my God!

Don't try anything, perv.

I'll just move.

Sam, I was kidding.

(EXHALES)

Uh, is this okay?

Absolutely.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)

(PEOPLE CLAMORING)

(DOOR OPENS)

Hey. Hey.

Just gonna use the bathroom.

Okay.

(SIGHS)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)

So you got my mom's money.

How much?

(SIGHS)

(WOMAN LAUGHS ON TV)

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION ON TV)

LOMBARDO: You just about gave me a heart attack.

KELLY: (LAUGHING) Oh, come on.

I can't believe you fell for it.

(KISSING)

Aren't you happy to see me?

LOMBARDO: What are you doing here?

(KELLY LAUGHS) If somebody sees you here, it's over.

It's all over.

KELLY: No one saw me.

Don't be so nervous. I thought we should celebrate.

(KELLY GIGGLES AND KISSES)

(SIGHS)

(GARGLING)

Hey.

(KIDS CHEERING)

After tonight, the three of us

are not to be seen together again.

After tonight?

(ALL JEERING)

Oh, busted.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

How was it?

I'll tell you later, okay?

Was it good?

Oh, here it is. Everyone needs to shut up.

God in Heaven.

(MOANING ON TV)

Are you okay?

What happened?

Na, what's wrong? (MOUTHING) Stop.

MAYA: And then, like, were your lips close together

when you guys were standing close together?

Yeah. And then they touched.

They did.

That's, like, romantic.

No, it wasn't.

Yo, it literally wasn't at all.

Why?

He puts his lips, like, all the way around mine...

Ew! And, like, sucked.

(CHUCKLES) What? It's not funny.

Wait. And then what?

Was that it? Like, he just sucked?

No, and then he put his tongue in my mouth, and he, like...

Did, like, a torpedo cat tongue,

and, like, drilled my mouth.

What was it like?

What did he do with it? Like this.

Ew! Ew! Stop! Yeah.

I can't. I wish I could.

What did you do with your tongue?

Did you do it back or did you just, like...

It was, like, pinned back, like, it was in trouble, you know.

That's crazy.

I know.

It was awful.

I'm sorry.

Well, at least you just, like, had your first kiss, you know.

I wish that I hadn't.

Don't say that. I really do.

Everything is just different.

And I just have to breakup with him, so...

Really? (INHALES DEEPLY)

Yeah.

He's not the Brendan

that bought us snacks at the bowling alley, you know.

Mmm-hmm.

He's like the Brendan

that drilled the back of my throat with his tongue.

So... It's up to you to get the next boyfriend.

Why?

What about cousin Richard?

Do you like him?

No, I don't. It's not him.

Oh, it's someone?

Is it Sam?

No.

No. Let's just go to bed.

Wait, look at me... What?

...and let me ask you again. Is it Sam?

Is what Sam? Do you like Sam?

Mmm-mmm.

Mmm-mmm.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)

Hey, butt-rat!

Hey, Maya.

What the hell?

You're, like, being weird. I'm mad at you.

Okay.

Seriously?

I normally say things to you,

and then you say, like, mean things back.

Mmm. Sorry...

God, you're just, like, being so lame.

It's like ever since you started dating whatever her fricking name is,

you're just being... Her name's Jenna.

Maybe if you try to be nicer to me once in a while.

I'm nice. Oh, yeah?

So how about you say something nice right now?

Like, right now? Yeah.

(SCOFFS)

Argh! Okay, like...

You're, like, less dandruffy in carpool this year.

Oh, my God.

Okay, I'm sorry. Okay.

You... (SIGHS)

Okay, you're...

You're, like, the funniest person in our entire grade.

Not bad. Yeah?

Do you have something nice to say about me?

Yeah. If you want.

Well, you do a really good Ace Ventura.

And?

And, um...

You are a awesome friend.

That's it?

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

Hey, Maya. Hi, Sam. Hi.

JENNA: Walk me to class?

Um, sure. See you later, Maya.

Whatever.

You left your locker open.

ANNA: Okay. So, can I read this to you? MAYA: Yeah.

Okay. "Dear Brendan, wassup!

"This is Anna Kone.

"We've been boyfriend-girlfriend for three weeks now,

"which is the longest relationship I've ever been in.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking since we kissed last night at Wild Things.

"This is hard, but I don't think you're the one for me.

"So I'm breaking up with you. I hope we can still be friends.

"See you in band. Anna Kone."

That's really good.

Should I mention about the kiss,

that it was bad, that he needs to work on?

No, I don't think so. That's mean.

Right. Yeah.

Will you give it to him for me?

Yeah. I will.

(TOILET FLUSHES)

(DOOR OPENS)

Shh!

(WATER RUNNING)

It's Becca.

(MOUTHING)

(WHISPERS) Do you think she heard?

(LAUGHS)

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

You need to get that to him before she does.

Okay. I'm fast. I can... Go! Go!

(DOOR OPENS)

Excuse me. Have you seen Brendan Tooler? Skyler? No?

Have you seen Brendan or Skyler? Brendan?

Have you seen Brendan or Skyler? None of you?

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

Hey, Kone. ANNA: Hey, Becca.

Oh, my God.

BRENDAN: "Dear Anna,

"I don't think it's a good idea that we go out anymore.

"I'm breaking up with you. Brendan."

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

I couldn't find Brendan or Skyler anywhere,

so I can't reach... It's okay.

It's okay. We got broken up with.

Oh, my God, no. Yeah.

I'm sorry. It's whatever, like...

I should've been faster. I'm sorry.

I'm an idiot. No. I am.

(SIGHS)

It's okay. (SNIFFLES)

ANNA: Your beady stupid little eyes, your fat nose.

(MUMBLING)

Play your stupid saxophone like that, asshole.

What?

Your mom said she overheard some stuff in carpool

about you and Braydan.

That's not his name, and I don't wanna talk about it.

You really shouldn't hold things inside.

Are you guys serious? What do you want me to say right now?

Do you want me to tell you that I got dumped?

It's embarrassing. That's what's happened, so...

You're so much cuter than he is.

Totally.

You're gonna have so many boyfriends in your life...

Totally. ...before you find

the one you wanna be with.

I guess, yeah.

But... But look...

This is it. This is... This is love.

And you didn't have that with Brendan.

I know I didn't, and I still kissed him.

Well, you had your first kiss. Oh!

(SNIFFLES)

We had and I wish I didn't. It was disgusting.

You know, life is... It's about experiences,

and someone else will come along.

Kissing definitely gets better. Right?

Yeah.

What is wrong with you guys?

See. It gets better...

Okay. Oh, my God! ...and better...

...and better.

(ALL VOCALIZING)