Original subtitles

MAYA: Wait, look, look.

Mr. O's underwear is sticking out.

ANNA: (WHISPERS) Oh, my God!

I would, like, put my head in the butt part

and I would wear it on my face as a mask to fall asleep.

All right, settle down, settle down, people.

All right, it's Monday. We got a lot to get through.

But first and foremost is signing up for your mandatory community service project.

More like community suck-vice. (STUDENTS CHUCKLE)

I doubt that you will be saying that

when you hear these extremely cool options.

Okay, Sam's dad is delivering meals to the homeless.

PB&J-making party at my house!

Yeah... All right.

There's a river trash pick-up.

You can scrape gum off the bridge. That one.

And finally, Heather's mom

is hosting a fashion show at the nursing home. Huh?

GIRL: Okay, now I'm so excited.

MR. O: Sign-up sheets are in the hallway.

(BELL RINGS) Okay, go now! Go, go, go!

MR. O: Calmly! No running!

MAYA: Maya! Maya Ishii-Peters, sign it!

ANNA: No!

No, I'm getting in. I got it, I got it, I got it.

HEATHER: Guys, guys, stop it.

Stop it. It's my mom, not yours, okay? It's my mom.

Yes!

Yes!

Personal space. Is it your mom?

I don't think so. Maya, we're gonna be supermodels.

♪ High

♪ I am high

♪ The you I show to you

♪ Is just a lie

♪ You take what you want

♪ You get what you take

♪ The high, high, high ♪

Litter and say bye to nature as we know it.

Here. Pass this around.

(WHISPERING) She's at that group. Go ask her.

DEB: Spending time with the elderly

can be so rewarding. GIRLS: Mmm-hmm.

Whenever Heather and I visit her grandma in the home,

I think to myself,

"No one else even notices these people besides us."

So true, you guys!

I mean, some of these older people haven't been noticed in 40, 50 years.

Yeah. So let's fix that.

Now what turns heads more than a big, beautiful hat?

Almost nothing.

Oh, my God. That's so true. Wow!

Luckily, I have my own new line of hats...

Deb's Darling Designs. ALL: Aww!

Oh, my God!

Holy shit!

And each of you will be wearing one of my creations

as you walk the runway

with one of Franklin County's most forgotten old people...

Hey, um, why aren't you in your boyfriend's group?

She can't leave her best friend. DEB: Excuse me.

Can you please go back to your own circle?

Go!

DEB: Phew. Anyway, as I was saying,

the actual fashion show is on Saturday... (WHISPERING)

...but we'll have two rehearsals before that

to make sure you're good at modeling.

The first rehearsal is tomorrow afternoon.

Heather, don't talk over me, sweetie.

So, please. This is essential.

Bring a professional photo of yourself to the rehearsal.

Headshots at the mall after school

so we get the best hats.

(HEATHER SQUEALING)

(STAMMERS) So where... where are you guys meeting at the...

Should we meet at Orange Julius? Or like...

Oh, we actually already have reservations.

Cool, so do we so... Okay.

Sorry. Yeah, no, we can't come either. It's fine.

(BELL RINGS)

Well, bye, you guys. Bye.

See you guys tomorrow. Whatever.

I have a plan. Okay, what?

There's a spot right near my house

and I feel like our pictures will look exactly like theirs.

Promise? I pinky promise.

So... what's the plan?

Oh, you're still here?

Oh, my gosh, I knew yours was gonna be beautiful. Great.

Oh, so nice. And you know, tomorrow,

our next rehearsal, you'll be meeting your mature partners!

Won't that be fun?

Jeez!

Okay. These photos are just incredible. So beautiful.

The zig-zaggy part is so cute and so is your eye shadow.

HEATHER: Oh, my God, you guys. GIRL: Oh, my God.

DEB: I think your mothers knew what they were doing.

They got you dressed up.

(GIRLS CHATTING INDISTINCTLY)

Oh, my God! That lip shade!

Can I borrow that? CONNIE: Yes!

(GIRLS SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

Anna, you look so pretty!

Aww. Thanks.

DEB: Hmm.

Anna, what... what?

I don't know what that is in your photo.

That's a fan.

It's a fan.

Okay, you know, normally, if you want that kind of, the airbrush look,

you don't keep the fan in.

Um, thank you for the note.

I don't know what you're doing here, Maya.

You know, you almost look like you were missing

and I know you're not 'cause you're right there.

But I wouldn't even put that...

Honestly I wouldn't even put that on a milk carton.

Thank you for the note.

DEB: So, Terra, you know, she looks like she's from the 1800s.

But it's on modern paper and that... that matters.

I found that dress in the river.

Okay, so let's go try on our outfits.

Okay? Yay!

I can basically see my reflection in your lip gloss.

GIRL: You look so cute! GIRL 2: So shiny!

It shimmers. Oh, my God!

Do you have any lip gloss? What?

Thanks for letting me borrow these shoes, Heather Feather.

Duh, babe.

Oh, my God!

What?

Heather's wearing a thong. ANNA: Oh, my God, no way.

MAYA: Yeah.

Do I recognize that pink top, Miss Rebecca?

Um, yeah, Heather let me borrow it.

Um, Heather, do you have a pink tank that I could borrow?

'Cause I lost mine.

Um... I'm sorry, I'm not really allowed to let people borrow my clothes.

You know, sometimes people lose them.

That's cool, like, we can buy some 'cause we have...

Money. Money.

Yeah.

Okay, you three...

Can you come over here for a second, doll? You three...

Yeah?

Okay, can you, um...

Look more like the other girls with your outfits?

You know, because I'd like the outfits to be

more uniform to match the hats.

Uh-huh.

My hats can do a lot of work

but they can't, you know, do everything.

So, can we... There we go. Like, just... Yeah.

Like this? DEB: No, back, back, back,

there we go.

Jess, you got the best hat.

Oh, thank you, but Heather definitely got the best hat.

It is quite flattering on me.

(GIRLS CHATTING EXCITEDLY)

Guys, do you want to see my grandma's room?

GIRLS: Yeah! Yeah.

There's actually, like, not enough room for everyone so...

Ooh, how about raise your hand

if you've been to Heather's house before?

That's who can come.

(GIRL CHUCKLING)

When?

Girl Scouts in second grade.

HEATHER: Follow me, guys.

(GIRLS SPEAK INDISTINCTLY) (DOOR OPENS)

Great idea, Becca. BECCA: Thanks. I know, right?

JESSICA: Your hat matched your hair.

(SHUSHING) (SOFTLY) What?

Look in there.

Oh, my God.

This is what they were using. I know.

(BOTH SNIFFING)

(CHUCKLES) No!

Oh...my...

(GASPS)

Wait. Why did she take that off?

I don't know.

Wait, I dare you to try it on.

What? I dare you.

I triple-dog dare you.

(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

Yeah! Oh, my God!

Wait. Shh!

I can't say no to a triple-dog dare. Okay, do it.

Wait, block me.

Oh, my... MAYA: Put it on, put it on.

Put it on, put it on. (GASPS)

Oh, my God! How does it feel?

Crazy.

My God. Let me see. Turn around.

(GASPS AND GIGGLES)

Wait, I wanna try it on! Ow!

Wait, I wanna try it on. Let me try it on.

Stop. Stop.

No, I wanna try it. Let me!

BECCA: Oh, my God! HEATHER: Becca, stop!

(BOTH SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

Put your pants on.

Put your pants on. It's not funny.

Put your pants on.

(GRUMBLING) Stop.

Stop.

Good one, Heather.

(ZIPPER CREAKS)

Your mom's honking outside.

Okay. Thanks, Becca.

BECCA: You're welcome. Wait, Anna, Anna, Anna.

Why were your pants off?

They weren't.

MAYA: They weren't. Oh, here, that was so fun.

Yeah.

I had a great time.

Okay.

(MAYA CHUCKLES)

See you tomorrow.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I can't believe that happened.

I didn't mean to steal. I'm gonna give it back to her tomorrow

after I wash it. Yeah. No, no, no.

No, that's not fair. What do you mean?

You got to try it on and I didn't.

Fine, you can have it. It's on you then.

Okay, fine. Okay, then good.

Give it...give it... Give it to me in the car.

I will, it hurts. Have fun.

Hi, girls. (CAR DOOR SLIDES SHUT)

How did the community service go?

I don't know, we learned stuff, Mom, like...

YUKI: All right.

Seatbelt, girls. MAYA: Okay.

Let's just drive. YUKI: Okay.

(WHISPERS) Maya...

I'm washing my hands for a while, so no one bother me.

(HEAVENLY MUSIC PLAYING)

One, two, three.

(FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING)

Freak!

Damn, white lady.

(PHONE RINGS)

Yo.

ANNA: Hi, Shuji, is Maya there, please?

Bitch, here she be.

Whoa, you sound different. Um...

Anyways, I was just thinking. I'm just, like, feeling a little, like, guilty.

Are you feeling the same thing? Yeah, it's bothering me a lot.

You know, I just want to make sure that you wash it

and that we give it back to her, and we put it in her bag tomorrow.

Uh-huh. For sure, washing it right now.

We're just not that kind of people, like,

we wouldn't take something on purpose, you know.

Bye!

Bye!

(PHONE BEEPS)

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

Hey.

Hey.

You notice anything different about me?

Baby got back.

You still have... Are you serious?

Maya, no. What?

You promised that we'd give it back, like, stop.

Right, you seriously need to chill

'cause I'm gonna give it back tomorrow.

Like, nine people have looked at my butt

and my boobs for some reason

and I've literally only been here for ten minutes.

Nine.

SAM: Hey, bowl cut.

I mean, Maya.

Don't look at me.

Ten.

Okay, you got checked out ten times. Like I do... I do, too.

All the time. Yeah.

Oh, Alex, look. Oh, shit.

I need it. What?

It, it, it.

Anna. Maya.

What? No. Give it to me.

Give me the...

Give me the thing.

Hey.

Let's make love.

I do it all the time.

What happened to your neck?

Okay, I'm sorry. Bye.

(DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS)

She almost caught us.

So, now that you've met your Fashion Show partners,

it's important between now and Saturday to really bond, okay?

So turn to your partner and ask,

"If you were a hat, what kind would you be?"

I don't really wear hats.

Oh, Heather, you're so pretty.

If I were a hat, I'd be you.

ANNA: They make my hair flat, hats.

Oh, your hair is beautiful.

Your hair is beautiful. (CHUCKLING) No, it's not.

I literally already love you.

I'm not kidding.

You're not? No.

Wow.

Chew, chew.

If I were a hat I would be a kind of like...

(CHUCKLING)

Oh, my God. We could get...

I'll give you... I'll give you a manicure.

Okay.

You give me a foot massage.

Okay. Now?

Can...can... Help...

Can you... Can you let go?

You're hurting me.

(IN CHILDISH VOICE) Pu, let go. Let go, Pu.

Pu diddly Pu, Pu diddly Pu, let go, yeah?

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

Heath, are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine, I just...

lost something.

My mom is going to kill me.

Maybe one of us took it home accidentally.

What is it?

Um... it... it's private, you guys.

I can't really tell you, but it's...it's pink.

Okay. Here we go.

That's all we need to know. Yeah.

JESSICA: Okay, that's a good start.

Look, don't worry.

Can I look in your bag? Yeah. Sure.

Pink?

Anna, why aren't you looking?

I am.

Someone took it by accident, it's just really important.

CONNIE: Look in your bag.

HEATHER: I literally looked everywhere, you guys. I'm freaking out.

ANNA: Oh, my God, I feel so bad for Heather.

I mean, like, we should definitely give it back.

Like tonight or like...

Tomorrow, yeah. Tomorrow, yeah.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

Tomorrow.

Seriously, Anna.

Give it to me between classes. I'm gonna give it to her.

Such a hypocrite!

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

Hi, Anna.

(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

Tomorrow.

What?

Twenty. 25, 30, I have 30. Thirty, 35, 40, I have 40.

I have 40.

My tallies are through the roof.

My gel pen is basically out of gel.

So, listen to me. I'm listening.

Okay, so we have the thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We gotta give it back. We gotta give it back.

(SPEAKING SLOWLY) Tomorrow...

(BOTH MUMBLING)

After the show. ...the show.

After the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

After the show. We are on the same page.

We'll give it back after the show.

Okay, great. After the fashion show.

Yeah. Who has show dibs?

Here, let's...

It's only fair. Rock, paper, scissor.

Okay. I don't care.

On 15, go.

(ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

Oh, my God. They're so pretty.

GIRL: Oh, my God.

Okay, ladies, listen up.

We don't have much time before the show,

but as you know, something of Heather's was stolen.

A thong.

Please call it underwear, Mom.

DEB: Shut up, sweetie.

Everybody, stand up and get in a circle please.

And whoever took Heather's thong

is going to put it in the middle of the table

and no one will know

because we're going to just turn around,

close our eyes and hum on the count of three. Okay?

One, two, three.

(ALL HUMMING)

(BOTH MOUTHING)

DEB: Okay, open your eyes.

(HUMMING STOPS)

Yeah, yeah, you guys.

DEB: Really?

God. Okay. I see.

No one gave it back. Okay. Okay.

Well, I don't have time for this shit.

I have to take care of the elderly.

So, Heather, you're gonna just have to wear the panties you have on.

BECCA: Guys, seriously.

This isn't funny anymore. Like, if someone took Heather's thong, just say so.

JESSICA: Yeah, you guys.

It must have been Anna, Maya or Terra.

BOTH: What?

The Bible says no thongs.

Anna and Maya, you guys were in the changing room

when all of us went to see Grandma Mary's room on Monday.

That's probably when you stole it, just admit it.

That's insane, you're literally crazy.

What?

Show me your underwear.

Wait, show you our underwear?

Show me just the top.

Are you crazy?

Oh, Maya, show her your underwear.

Okay, show your underwear.

Show me your underwear.

You guys, you guys, you guys.

This is getting really out of hand.

I agree and you're perverted.

Can we just let it go, Becca?

MAYA: Let's do the show.

Let's do the show, I'm really... I'm really sorry.

I'm sorry you lost it.

ANNA: Do you guys remember? It's about the hats. Becca!

(PEOPLE COUGHING)

Hello, welcome to the Hat-Stravaganza.

Thank you so much for coming.

I realize a lot of you were already here,

so thank you for leaving your rooms.

Also I'd like to thank my pals from my book club-slash-wine club for being here.

So, please just enjoy yourself.

Okay, here we go, let's get crazy.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

(WHISPERS) Liar!

(ALL GASP)

(MAN LAUGHS)

She's gonna pull your pants down. Who?

Becca. What?

Becca's gonna pull your pants down.

(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

Oh, no, no, no, stop it.

What is wrong with you? Come with me.

Come with me.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, we got away with it.

BOTH: Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. We got away with it, Anna.

What are you talking about, "we got away with it"?

I was embarrassed in front of the entire retirement community.

Oh, my God! Take off the thong. We don't need it.

No. "No"?

I'm keeping it.

Anna, stop it, stop it. Take it off, take it off.

Anna, stop it. You're gonna break it.

We're not stealers. We're not stealers.

(SCREAMING) Stop!

Stop!

No!

Are you seriously serious?

You, like, burned my asshole.

I'm freaking seriously dead serious

'cause that thing was ripping everybody apart.

You literally just, like, ruined my life!

That thong ruined your...

Damn it.

MAYA: And my vagina.

DEB: I have to say

sometimes things just don't turn out like you plan them, right?

And I apologize for that.

You should be apologizing to me.

I literally can't talk to you right now

when you have an attitude like that.

Pu, can you please tell Anna that I'm not speaking to her either right now?

Um, Pu...

can you please tell Maya

that sometimes you have to right your wrongs in life

or karma will get you,

which is exactly what happened to me today?

Thank you very much. You know what, Pu,

can you please tell Anna that I'd like a karma to run me over

because she destroyed the one thing

that actually made me feel pretty, like a normal human.

But you're pretty now. No, I am not.

What is this thing? I mean, I want one.

We can't talk about it.

You know, it's like pink...

and it like, it's like, it's like a stretchy.

It wasn't ours.

Yeah, but when it was, it was really amazing.

See, you're overreacting right now. No, I'm not.

Truly, Maya... MAYA: Anna...

Truly, your reaction is telling me that it's good that we destroyed it.

That is literally the most messed up thing you could ever say

because you weren't ugliest girl in school, okay?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Not to be corny, but I gotta say this.

All my life, I would grow a year older,

look back and think I was prettier the year before.

I never got to enjoy my beauty,

but I kept obsessing over it all the time.

I wish someone had told me when I was younger

that I was beautiful

because of who I was, not what I had.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

(GROANING)

ANNA: Is she choking?

(MUMBLING)

(STAMMERING) I... am... beautiful.

She's saying, "I'm beautiful

"and I don't need things on my body

"to make me feel beautiful."

You got that from that? MAYA: Yeah.

Wow.

NURSE: How's everybody holding up? Pu?

Something magical just happened.

(MAYA CHUCKLES)

Okay, Pu, stop it.

I get it! Let go.

You know what to do.

Maya? What?

(SNIFFING)

I'm not abandoning you. I'm just letting you go

and you're gonna be loved just like I...love you.

Bye.

Bye.

Okay, let's go.

Are you okay? Let's go. Yeah.

I'm proud of you. Yeah.

Um, do I look okay? Yeah. Do I?

Yeah, but it's what's inside that counts, so...

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. (LAUGHS)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ I've been doing my own thing ♪

Pu? Pu?

I forgot your grapes, okay?

Gonna get you some purples, okay?

Purples. I'll be right back.

(HEAVENLY MUSIC PLAYING)