Original subtitles

MAYA: (BREATHING HEAVILY) Stardust,

we need to hide in Windsor Caves or Claw will kill us.

(SIGHS)

No, Puff Paws,

I can't leave without Dingle Pan.

Do you want me to stay with you?

You'll stay with me?

Yeah.

Okay. Kiss me.

(IMITATING KISSING)

(PULSE THUMPING)

(THUMPING QUICKENS)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(EXHALES)

(SIGHS)

YUKI: Maya -chan, did you brush your teeth?

Yeah, I'm in bed! Asleep now!

(DOOR OPENS) (SIGHS)

(BOTH SPEAKING JAPANESE)

(SPEAKING ENGLISH) I love you.

I love you. Let me turn the light off.

No, no, can you leave it on?

Okay. All right. (SPEAKING JAPANESE)

(DOOR CLOSES)

♪ High

♪ I am high

♪ The you I show to you

♪ Is just a lie

♪ You take what you want

♪ You get what you take

♪ The high, high, high ♪

(WATER RUNNING)

(KNOCKING AT DOOR) SHUJI: Hurry up, dummy!

We're gonna be late for school!

It's my bathroom, too! Shut up!

SHUJI: What are you doing in there?

Shaving your back?

What?

You can't just barge in!

I was brushing my teeth!

(YELLING)

There is no privacy in this house!

(ANNA HUMMING)

(SIGHS)

Good morning. Morning.

Is it just me, or it's super dry last night?

My nostrils are crusty.

(LAUGHS)

This is too strong, again.

CURTIS: It's light roast.

Light roasts are stronger, Curtis.

You know I don't like it strong

and yet you continue to make it strong.

It's Peruvian.

Yeah, well, it tastes like shit.

ANNA: Okay, I'm gonna go.

Love you. Bye. Bye, sweetie.

Just use more cream, like--

Okay, thank you. I... I love you.

Okay, thanks. Love you.

I got to go. Have a good day at school.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

MS. BELL: Pay attention, people.

We're discussing The Hero's Journey.

Maya. Ah.

Um, what are we gonna do this weekend?

Like I really want it to be fun.

Yeah. Fun.

Do you wanna go see, like a movie, or something?

That would be fun.

We could tell your mom that we're gonna go see

Chicken Run and then see Coyote Ugly instead.

Mmm. (MUMBLING GIBBERISH)

What?

(DRUM MUSIC PLAYING)

Maya. Yeah. What?

You're not listening, obviously.

Yes, I am.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

Um, I gotta... (SPEAKING JAPANESE)

Okay, let's go.

Or actually, can...

Can I go in there alone this time

'cause I kinda want some privacy?

Oh, yeah. You're your own person.

Okay. Thanks.

You just always want me to go in there with you.

Yeah, I know, it's just gonna be like, a nasty one.

So, I don't wanna put you through that, you know.

It's okay. I'll just breathe through my mouth.

Okay, or can you just,

like, keep watch outside, and that...

so, no one can come in?

Okay.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Hey.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Sex.

(DRUM MUSIC PLAYING)

Sexual.

Sex.

Vagina. Vagina...

HEATHER: You guys, I can't wait!

B-Witched is like the best band.

♪ Gotta let me in ♪ Hey, hey, hey

ALL: ♪ Let the fun begin, Hey ♪

You guys, we have to be good about calling

Q102 tonight from 6:00 to 7:00.

Like, we need to win these backstage passes. We have to.

No one ever calls. It's gonna be so tight.

(SQUEALING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

Oh, my God.

Guess who's coming to our town this weekend.

B-freaking-Witched.

I'm so jazzed.

Like, B-Witched.

Whoa. Yeah.

Like, uh... I'm the wolf today...

ANNA: ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

Yeah. So, we need to call

the radio station tonight between 6:00 to 7:00

to try to get backstage passes.

And the good thing is that, like no one ever calls,

so, it's gonna be tight. Mmm.

MAYA: Oh. Are you still going right now?

(GRUNTS)

That was a hard long one, huh?

So weird, it doesn't smell like poop at all in here.

Your body must be changing or something.

Yeah.

All done. (FLUSHING)

So, we'll call at 6:03, 6:06,

we'll skip 6:05

'cause everyone's gonna call at 6:05.

Yo, I found the Spice channel.

Yesterday, I mapped it out.

Every 48 seconds

it shows a titty and it lasts for about a second.

It's awesome.

Wow, that's so, like... specific.

Hey, Sam, is it weird to see your mom on screen?

Do you stay hard?

Fuck you. I stay hard 24/7.

Are you guys, like, talking about,

like masturbating, or...

Yes, Maya. Just ignore them. Like, they're pervs.

It's just porn, dork.

Okay, well, do you mind keeping the sex talk down?

Can you just suck my balls?

Oh, can I barf all over your fat face? Sam!

Hey, I heard Connie M puts peanut butter on her crotch

and has a dog lick it.

SAM: Are you serious? I'm serious.

ALL: Eww.

What the fuck?

ANNA: That's nasty. I could never do that.

ANNA: So, I'm coming home with you, right?

To make the calls? Yeah, yeah.

'Cause I just... I just don't wanna do it at my house, so...

Yeah.

Yeah. Oh!

Except... Damn it! What?

No, I forgot, I forgot. I have to, um...

Go to Sam's house to do a math project.

Tonight?

Yeah.

Do plans mean like zilch to you?

No, I made a plan with Sam first,

so, obviously, I'm keeping that.

Means a lot to me.

Just remember to call Q102... Yeah.

At 6:00pm. 6:00pm, I know.

I'm not stupid. I refuse to be home this weekend.

Don't worry, we'll win. I'll call at 6:00.

(SIGHS)

♪ I really wanna win for the weekend

♪ I really wanna win for the weekend

♪ I really wanna win for the weekend

BOTH: ♪ I really wanna win for the weekend, weekend

♪ I really wanna win for the weekend♪

No one come in for an hour,

I'm taking a nap!

KATHY: You think since you have a job...

CURTIS: You got a great kid.

KATHY: ...and make money, that makes you better than me. I know.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

CURTIS: Just get a job, okay? Just get a job.

KATHY: Okay, then who's gonna drive Anna to school?

CURTIS: I'm not gonna talk to you like that, okay?

Like this. All I do is try to take care of...

(THE EARTH, THE AIR, THE FIRE, THE WATER PLAYING)

(VOCALIZING)

♪ The earth, the air, the fire, the water

♪ Return, return, return, return

♪ The earth, the air, the fire, the water

♪ Return, return, return, return

(VOCALIZING)

♪ The earth, the air, the fire, the water

♪ Return, return, return, return

♪ The earth, the air, the fire, the water

♪ Return, return, return, return

(VOCALIZING)

(MOANING)

(ANNA VOCALIZING)

♪ The earth, the air, the fire, the water

♪ Return, return, return, return

♪ The earth, the air, the fire, the water

♪ Return, return, return, return ♪

(VOCALIZING)

(SIGHS)

(DOOR SLAMS) KATHY: I just hate you!

I can't do this one more minute! CURTIS: Okay, okay.

KATHY: Go away! (CURTIS GRUNTS)

KATHY: No, shut up! No! CURTIS: Come on.

Hey, grow up! Grow up!

KATHY: Don't tell me to grow up!

Fuck you! (KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Mrs. Zablowski?

It's Anna Kone.

Sam?

Maya?

Mrs. Zablowski, I'm so sorry to come unannounced.

Hope I'm not interrupting.

Um, I just wanted to stop by while Maya and Sam did their project,

I promise I won't distract them. Thank you.

Oh, uh, Maya's not here,

but Gabe and Jafeer are.

Oh, did she just leave?

Um, I haven't seen Maya.

Oh.

That's weird.

'Cause she said that she was here, so... Oh.

I bet Sam would love to see you.

And I'll make Bagel Bites.

I love Bagel Bites.

♪ Pizza in the morning, pizza in the evening

♪ Pizza at supper time

♪ Put pizza on a bagel

♪ You can eat pizza anytime ♪

YUKI: Maya, dinner's ready!

Maya!

(DOOR OPENS)

I told you dinner is ready.

I know. I'm coming down.

(SNIFFING)

What's that smell?

(SPEAKS JAPANESE)

(SPEAKS ENGLISH) Let's go down. Let's eat. Okay.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Why do you think she'd lie?

I'm not sure.

She might be going through something

that has nothing to do with you.

It's all about boundaries.

I pretty much know everything about her, though.

I don't know what she could possibly be going through that I wouldn't know.

(MIMICKING CHILD) Mama. Mmm-hmm.

(SPEAKING JAPANESE)

(SPEAKS ENGLISH) Why are you talking like that?

I'm not talking like anything.

(SCOFFS)

Tonight we pay respect to Ojichan.

Why?

It's his birthday, moron. What, did you forget?

No.

Okay, Mama.

(LAUGHS)

Can I help you clean up at all?

ALBERT: Oh. SUZE: Oh. You know what?

Why don't you go on up and say hi to the boys?

Yeah. I think they're watching

a movie or something. Armageddon.

(LAUGHING)

Um, I just want you guys to know, like...

I really love talking to you.

Yeah, we don't wanna keep boring you.

No, no. I could talk to you guys for hours.

I could even sleep here. (LAUGHS)

Just kidding. I'll go check on those rascals.

Thank you. Thank you.

(DINGS)

Happy birthday, Ojichan.

Thank you for always watching over us.

Mama.

What do you mean, "he's always watching over us"?

He protects us and watches over us all the time.

Uh, when you're walking the street,

or when you're brushing your teeth.

All the time.

Even when I'm in bed asleep?

Yes.

MAYA: Hmm.

Like, even when I'm...

I don't know, like, napping?

Yes.

JAFEER: Dude, was that boob?

SAM: That was her foot, idiot.

You promised a boob. It's coming.

JAFEER: I don't see anything. I don't see...

(LAUGHS) Yeah. There it is. Oh, my God!

That is nice. Hey, guys...

You mind if I join in on the movie? Anna, get out!

What? ALL: Get out! Go!

Is this... Get out, Anna!

You're pervs. Hi, Anna.

(PHONE RINGING)

YUKI: Hello. Hi, Yuki.

Oh, Anna, hi. Um...

Sorry to call so late.

Mmm-hmm. It's just kind of an emergency.

Um, is Maya there, please?

What happened? Is everything okay?

Um...

It's not really an emergency.

Oh... So, don't... Don't worry about it.

Okay. I... I just really need to talk to Maya.

Is she there? It's bed time.

Don't call so late. Talk tomorrow.

Okay, but can you just tell me... Bye, Anna.

Hello?

(MUSIC PLAYING)

(SNIFFLES)

Just hung up on. Are you kidding?

And lied to. And...

Stupid pervert boys.

(CRYING)

ANNOUNCER: Hello. What's your name? Diana.

ANNOUNCER: Diana, you are caller 20.

The winner... DIANA: Oh, my God! Thank you so much!

ANNOUNCER: You just won two backstage passes

to see B-Witched at the Eastlake Amphitheater this Saturday.

DIANA: Oh, my God! Yes!

This is the happiest day of my entire life!

ANNOUNCER: What's your favorite radio station?

DIANA: All the hits, Q102! (SHOUTING)

(SCREAMING)

Mommy!

YUKI: What's wrong?

It's Ojichan! I see Ojichan!

YUKI: That's nice. Say hello.

(WHIMPERING)

Sorry. I didn't mean to do that.

I wasn't doing what you think I was doing.

I was just scratching.

Go away, please! Go away!

NARRATOR: The Gobi Desert

is amongst the driest places in the world.

Na?

(ANNA SNIFFS)

Na?

Are you mad at me?

Why weren't you in carpool this morning?

'Cause I, like, slept in.

Oh, really? Oh. Yeah.

Guess what? What?

I went to Sam's and you weren't there. You liar.

Oh, my God.

Yeah. Busted, buddy.

(WHISPERS) Na.

Na, listen.

I'm trying to watch the video. Okay.

(MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)

(DRUM MUSIC PLAYING)

(GASPS)

MAYA: Go away. Go away.

(TV CONTINUES PLAYING)

(WHISPERING) Na.

Na. Listen. I already told you, I'm trying to...

I'm sorry, I lied, okay?

That was really messed up.

But I'm doing it because I am hiding something about me

that has nothing to do with you.

I swear on my life.

Will you listen?

What?

I see dead people.

Oh. I, like, see ghosts all the time.

For real? Yeah.

Who do you see?

I see my ojichan.

What is an ojichan?

It's my grandpa.

Oh. Yeah.

And it's like really freaky.

I'm not kidding.

I have an idea.

ANNA: Spirit, show yourself.

BOTH: Spirit, reveal.

Spirit, show yourself,

so, Maya knows you're real.

(SIGHS) I think he's here.

Oh, my God. (CHUCKLES)

I don't know I could be wrong, I just feel it.

Okay, so, put your hands on it. Okay.

Ojichan...

Are you here?

Don't move it. Okay, I'm not. I'm not.

Ojichan...

Are you here?

Oh, my God. Are you moving it?

I'm not moving it. Are you moving it?

God! (MAYA SHIVERING)

Okay, that's crazy!

I don't wanna do this. It's okay. Put your hands back.

I'm with you.

Put your hands on it.

Ojichan...

Why are you here?

ANNA: (BREATHING HEAVILY) Oh, my God!

MAYA: Oh, my God.

BOTH: C...

L...

I...

T...

ANNA: T, C-L-I-T.

Clit.

Clit.

Clit. Clit.

I don't know what clit. I don't know clit.

Eww. Eww.

Clit! Clit!

Maya! Anna!

You're doing that. I'm not.

I was not touching.

I swear on my life, I'm not moving it.

You're moving it. My fingers are barely touching it.

Okay, well, same.

Why is your grandpa saying "clit"?

I don't know. Maybe it's not him.

It's him for sure. It is?

I can feel him.

I don't know, Na, I feel like...

This is crazy...

Maya, let's just try one more time.

Okay, okay. Okay. Okay.

Ojichan, why are you haunting Maya?

Oh, my God. M...

ANNA: A... It's moving fast!

MAYA: No. S-T... ANNA: S-T...

BOTH: U...

R-B...

Whoa!

That is crazy, Ojichan.

Why did you just flick it?

I did not flick it. What the hell?

That was not me. That was literally him.

We're in the middle of contacting him.

I didn't flick it. I didn't. What the hell?

You guys are playing Ouija?

We're not playing, it's serious, so...

(SIGHS)

That shit's so stupid.

(ANNA SIGHS) You realize

one of you is just moving it

and it's just your subconscious, right?

(SOBBING)

(CONTINUES SOBBING)

Are you okay?

(SOFTLY) Yeah.

I need to tell you my subconscious.

Okay.

(EXHALES)

I'm like Sam...

Only I'm grosser, 'cause I'm a girl,

and I'm a pervert.

And I really shouldn't be doing what I'm doing.

I've been putting my hands

down my pants, um...

My area...

down there to feel good.

Um, when I'm in bed...

Sometimes I put my hands

between my legs to feel good.

Really?

Yeah.

(LAUGHS)

Wait, you mean like this?

Not exactly, um, sort of.

You don't feel gross?

How gross can I feel if you do it, too?

Promise I'm not a pervert?

Oh. (WHISPERING) I promise.

And swear you won't tell anyone.

Oh, my God. I swear. You swear, too?

I swear. Yeah.

Pinky swear. Pinky swear.

KATHY: Oh, is this about me drinking...

(KATHY AND CURTIS FIGHTING)

(SHOUTING CONTINUES)

(BED CREAKING)

(OWL HOOTING)

Sweet, sweet mercy.