Original subtitles

MAYA: (DISTORTED) Jonathan, where have you been?

ANNA: (DISTORTED) Bethany, I have to talk to you.

MAYA: I asked you to come meet me,

because I got you a milkshake, and now it is warm.

You suck that down now.

ANNA: I told you, Beth, no more milkshakes.

Why, you love my strawberry milkshake!

Get right into my face, and I wanna tell you...

MAYA: That you wanna suck my shake? No.

That I can't do this anymore. What?

I have a wife and kids at home. (GASPS)

MAYA: And I got a husband and two bitch kids,

and I don't care! I miss you!

Hold on.

ANNA: Can you do that later?

Ugh! MAYA: Okay.

How dare you do this to me, bitch?

ANNA: If you call me that one more time,

I swear to God I'm gonna hit you.

MAYA: (SOBBING) No, we're too good together. Don't go to that...

Love, what is going on here?

ANNA: You know what, Frank, I've had it up to here. Okay?

(MIMICKING FISTFIGHT)

Na... Yeah?

Can we, like, never not do this?

Duh.

No, I just mean, like, I wanna play

Sylvanian until we're, like, old.

I wanna do it always. Like, every Friday night.

I thought you loved me.

I did, and I don't anymore.

Why did that change so quick?

♪ High

♪ I am high

♪ The you I show to you

♪ Is just a lie

♪ You take what you want

♪ You get what you take

♪ The high, high, high ♪

I tell you. Barb has been skimping on the beans lately.

She's lagging.

Uh, Mai... Anna.

Can you get something out of my backpack?

Ah, that's, like, so annoying, Anna.

Well, fine, don't get it. I'll get it then.

No. I'll get my hands all over my...

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

No.

Are you serious?

Hell to the Na! No!

Are you serious?

Oh, my God! This is Sylvanian Family Hamburger Wagon!

And, like, I've been literally looking for this forever!

ANNA: I know.

We should definitely do this tonight.

Oh, my God, yes!

(DISTORTED) Beth, we've talked about this.

(DISTORTED) I have talked about it endlessly to you.

We are eating in public tonight.

I don't care. I want French fries in my mouth

while you suck on them, too.

Why do you have dolls?

We don't. These... this?

These that.

That's not a doll. That, no.

That's investment from eBay. Yeah.

Looks like a doll.

You're playing with them tonight,

and everyone knows it. Okay?

Okay, Gabe. Like what?

What are you, the smartest man on the living Earth?

Yes, we are playing with them, 'cause they're collector items,

So, hi, kid.

Collectors' item means that you just kinda put 'em on display.

Okay.

Lady, you're 13.

And?

And you're still playing with dolls?

Um, I saw you with a GI Joe last week.

They're ripped, okay?

Okay, but you're admitting that you play with them?

I have GI Joes, but I don't play with them.

Oh, my God! ANNA: Oh, my God!

(IMITATING) I'm Sam. I don't think I play with GI Joes.

BOTH: (SINGING) ♪ I don't play with dolls

Shut up! ♪ My name is Sam

♪ I play with dolls, dolls ANNA: ♪ I play with GI Joes

♪ My name is Sam! ♪ Sam! Sam! Sam!

♪ I play with dolls, dolls I play with dolls ♪

Shut up!

Shut up! Hey, everybody!

Oh, my God, what's in that box, Maya and Anna?

Are you guys playing with dolls? Stop it.

Maya and Anna have a box full of dolls

that they're playing with tonight.

They do. Oh, my God! SAM: Yeah, yeah, they are.

Oh, my God, stop!

ANNA: Let's go. And, Maya, what's in there?

Asshole. (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Bye! Bye!

You wanna do Sylvanian still tonight or...

I mean, yeah, I bought it.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, we, like, do it every Friday night since we were six.

STEVIE: I like one... CHARNEY: You're such a slut.

(LAUGHING) STEVIE: So what's the plan?

MIRANDA: Uh, my brother was gonna pick up some herb for us tonight.

STEVIE: Oh! Who's got it? Charney?

CHARNEY: Yeah. Oh, my God! Relax, slut.

Also Kyle was talking about, like, maybe hanging tonight.

MIRANDA: Only if he brings his older brothers.

I, like, love Kyle Field.

I thought you loved Brett Field.

No, I like him, and I like every other Field bro, too.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

(LAUGHING)

Wait, who is that?

Don't you guys have a lighter?

I left it in my desk.

MIRANDA: Totally chill, no worries.

CHARNEY: Found it! STEVIE: Oh, give me.

STEVIE: Ah, shit.

MIRANDA: Shit. Can you guys get that?

(RESTROOM DOOR OPENS)

STEVIE: Shit, run, run, run! JAN: What's going on here?

(DOOR CLOSES)

I still see feet.

Sorry, we're just eating our lunch.

In here?

Everything okay?

That's not ours, I swear on our life.

Yeah, it's not ours. Um,

lessons get learned through choices.

And that's why I'm going to

have you throw that away instead of me.

Okay?

Thank you. (RATTLING)

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

Your brother's picking us up?

CHARNEY: Oh, my gosh, he's like, so hot.

STEVIE: Yeah. (CHUCKLES)

MIRANDA: Oh, shut the fuck up, slut.

Oh, my gosh, chillax, Miranda.

Hey, ladies, I just wanted to apologize...

Shut the fuck up, slut!

Okay. MAYA: Leave.

There you are, girls. Okay. Let's go.

Mom, what are you doing?

I asked you when we're at school, never get out of the car.

And why are wearing that tank top?

Are you kidding, like, with your breasts out?

(WHISPERING) Be a bad, bad boy.

Hey... You're a bad, bad, bad boy!

My parents aren't home,

and I just need someone to watch me.

I don't know where they went.

(MAYA MUMBLING) Excuse me, sir.

Maya, they're trying to... He's trying to talk to you guys.

No, I know. He's just busy right now. Hold on.

All right, this is super fun, like...

I'll just fricking play by myself.

It was, like, your idea to play this,

so like...

Sorry. I thought you, like, still wanted to. I don't know.

Let's just, like, do something else. I don't know.

MAYA: Okay, fine.

Alex! (AS ALEX) 'Sup!

You've been, like, ignoring me for three days.

We're married. You can't do that anymore.

It's not like middle school.

I'm sorry, babe.

No, sorry is not enough, like...

(AS HERSELF) Okay, they need to like, make up now.

They... We were just getting into it. What are you doing?

I don't know. I'm just like...

Bored?

Maybe.

Yeah. Again, like... (SIGHS)

Let's just do something else. Okay, fine.

I'm trying to like...

(BLOWING)

(IMITATING CHARNEY) Don't hog it all, chubs butt, like, I want it.

(LAUGHS)

Give it to me like...

(IMITATING MIRANDA) Okay, slut.

(GASPS)

Wait. Who're you calling? (DIAL TONE)

Shh. (PHONE RINGING)

SAM: Hello. MAYA: Sam?

Speaking...

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Hey... Wait. Who is this?

It's Miranda Harris.

Okay...

(MAYA SNICKERING)

Hello?

(MAYA GASPS)

I was wondering if you had any salami,

'cause I'm trying to make a sandwich. (CHUCKLING)

Sandwich? Hello?

(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

(INHALES DEEPLY)

Sorry about that. I just had to...

Um... (LAUGHS)

Use the bathroom quickly,

but I just wanted to tell you that...

I have a feeling that you like Maya Ishii-Peters,

and I just... Shh. Stop it! Na!

You're a bitch. You are.

Oh, my God, I have an idea.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

I'm hot.

Yeah. So much sluttier.

Hey, Kyle.

I, like, wanna get married to you...

No. And I can't have sex before I do.

I like Kyle.

Kyle, I, like, can't wait to fuck you,

'cause I need to wait for marriage.

Ah, you just fully copied me, like.

MAYA: Wait.

We should, like, totally smoke this.

It would be so chill.

Yeah, it would be chill.

I'm just not, like, 100% sure that I'm ready to be a smoker.

No, no, of course. Like...

I'm not gonna do it without you,

'cause we do everything together.

Together, yeah. Yeah.

Like, maybe we should get like a lighter.

To, like, play better, you know.

Hey, Dad. Hey, Curt.

Hey, you guys, you look festive.

Curt, we're playing, like, dress-up.

Yeah. We're just gonna go for a walk.

Oh, that's cool. ANNA: Cool.

MAYA: Okay. You need money or anything or...

Um, yes, please. Yeah.

Okay. ANNA: That'd be great.

MAYA: Thanks, Curt. You guys have fun, though.

Yeah. Thanks, Dad.

Love you. See you, guys.

MAYA: Thanks, Curt. Bye.

See ya. MAYA: Okay, bye.

Uh, where are your lighters?

Oh.

So, I think I want, like, four of them.

Or is that too many?

What's up! MAYA: I'm gonna...

Here with your mom? I'm just gonna, like, check to see if they work.

We're here alone, bitch. JK.

But we really are here alone.

MAYA: Should I do, like, three or do I need four?

Anna? What?

Anna, do I do three or do I do four?

ANNA: Just however many people get usually.

So... Two? Two.

Yeah, two. We'll just, like, do two. We'll just do two.

Whatever, you know. Thank you. ANNA: Thank you.

(ELECTRONIC JINGLING)

MAYA: Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

(SIREN BLARING)

Put it away. Put it away. Put it away. Go. Go. Go.

This way. This way.

He, like, literally thought we were...

Wait. Which one do you think...

No, wait. Oh, my God! Na!

Look. Oh, my God! What?

That's Miranda's brother's car.

Oh!

What?

Wait.

Should we spy on them?

Oh, my God, you're so creepy, you stalker.

I'm not a stalker! What are you doing?

They're having a sleepover.

Let's just, like, ding dong and ditch.

Oh, my God, you wanna ding dong and stay.

No.

Okay, fine, let's just go back to your house then.

Okay. Okay.

After you...

(LAUGHS)

My God! I knew it. You wanna stay.

Ah! No, I don't.

Yes, you do. No, you do. You wanna do it.

No, you do it. No, you do it.

You do it. You do it.

Stop! You do it. Stop!

Maya... Anna...

Don't. Don't.

Stop! Anna, stop!

(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) (MUSIC PLAYING)

Go!

Go! MIRANDA: Who is that?

Maya?

Yo.

Anna?

She's in the bush. (LAUGHING)

Um...

Yo, what are you doing?

We were, um...

Like, just about to smoke.

Oh, cool. Us, too. Let's smoke.

(STUTTERS) Do you wanna smoke?

Yeah?

Oh, my God!

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

When are the boys coming?

Nine. Like... Relax, biatch.

Like the Fields or...

There's five of us and five of them.

It's perfect.

Isn't one of them, like, eight?

Yeah, but he's fucking hot.

I wish we had herb.

Who's got the beer?

Oh. (CHUCKLES)

(DEMONIC VOICE) Do you guys drink?

I need to pee.

(GIRLS LAUGHING)

(INAUDIBLE)

(WHISPERING) Stop freaking the eff out.

Who cares? People drink.

Like, it's just beer.

Who cares?

CHARNEY: Field brothers are so hot.

STEVIE: Wait. Wait. Which one's the hottest one?

CHARNEY: I like... MIRANDA: It's like...

I like Kyle. MIRANDA: No. Scottie.

STEVIE: It's Kyle.

Are you drinking?

Yeah, like, just one sip.

Without me. Cool.

Anna, you take a sip.

(CHANTING) Sip! Sip! Sip!

Sip, Anna, sip. Sip, Anna, sip.

(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

(GIRLS CHEERING)

Holy shit! Yeah!

GIRLS: Wow!

ANNA: Yeah. Holy shit!

You guys ever done computer cleaner?

Yeah, actually, I have... Or my dad has.

He uses it for our computer,

'cause it gets in all the crevices.

Yeah. We're inhaling, not cleaning.

(SCOFFS) Yeah! I know.

Do you? Yeah, I do.

I'll do it if you do it.

Okay. Okay.

Me, too. If you do it.

Na? Mmm-hmm.

Do it then.

Okay. Okay.

Go. Give me space.

Okay. Give me space.

Okay. Okay.

In your mouth. In your mouth.

Okay. Just inhale. Inhale.

Okay, ready?

(CHANTING) Inhale! Inhale!

We're gonna do it. (CHANTING) Inhale! Inhale!

Inhale! Inhale!

(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

When does it...

(DISTORTED YAWN)

ANNA: Oh, my God! Maya?

Is this normal? Maya? Maya?

Maya? Ah, cool.

Whoa! ANNA: Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! (MAYA MUMBLING)

How long were we out for? (CHUCKLES)

Ten seconds.

We lost our minds, you guys.

That was crazy!

Just you. We didn't do it.

Wait, what? STEVIE: You looked so scary.

I thought you were a corpse.

Wait. You didn't do it, Na?

Sorry. (STAMMERING) I was gonna...

It's just, like, I'm worried about my brain.

You promised.

You are fi... You are fine. So messed up.

Guys, it's nine o'clock.

Where are the boys? Wait. It's nine?

Can I use your phone?

Yeah. My brother's room.

See? Now you try.

(BUBBLING)

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

(DOOR OPENS)

Hey.

'Sup!

(HESITANTLY) Can I... May I use your phone, please?

Right in front of you, the boat.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)

Oh.

(DIALING)

(PHONE RINGING)

YUKI: Hello? MAYA: Hey, Mama.

Is everything okay? Yeah. We're just...

We are about to go to bed,

so I just wanted to say good night.

Okay, I hear something. Yeah.

Um, it's just...

It's a movie Anna rented.

We're just... Yeah.

It's Home Alone.

Yeah? Yeah.

Be polite.

(SPEAKING JAPANESE) Oyasumi.

(PHONE DISCONNECTS)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV)

MAN: (ON TV) Fun, real fun.

(SPEAKING ENGLISH) Thank you. Good-bye.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ Check it out now

♪ Uh...

♪ No doubt now

♪ Uh...

♪ Yo, check it out now

My mom's not home, so...

Cool.

♪ Biggest thing in my itty bitty world

♪ Called her up And she made me feel right

Uh... Stevie.

♪ Sittin' back with this mic in my hand

♪ Spittin' hot shit tryin' to see grand

♪ Imprinted on my mind every minute

Charney, I guess.

Sick.

♪ Uh, you're such a vivrant thing

♪ Vivrant thing, a vivrant thing

♪ And even though we both fly

♪ Give each other space...

You.

Yes!

♪ Actin' like grown-ups

♪ Don't even try to hide 'Cause the spot blown up

♪ Girlfriend tellin' you...

The tall one.

♪ I say 'I dunno' but you say 'Gladly' ♪

(SOFT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

MIRANDA: Do you need help with that?

SCOTTIE: Got it.

(KISSING)

ANNA: Wait.

(KNOCKING)

What do you want?

Um, all the good spots are taken.

Well, we can't do everything together, so...

You ever play Crash Bandicoot?

What?

(SNIFFLES)

Are you gonna do it? Okay.

Wait. Mmm-hmm.

(MUMBLES)

Okay.

This is what I look like without it.

We've just done everything together since, like, '93.

And then all of a sudden, it's, like,

everything can just change

in, like, a flip or an instant. (SNIFFLES)

I know exactly what you mean.

My grandmother...

Died last year.

Then you probably know exactly how I feel.

I mean, I... I think so.

(MAYA GROANING)

Dragon.

I don't know how long you've known your grandma.

I've known Maya... (STUTTERS)

Literally forever.

Maybe it's more or less like,

when my magic cards got stolen.

I thought we were on the same page, but like...

You lost me.

Wait, look...

(LAUGHS)

I'm a scarecrow.

What?

Like, if you don't wanna hook up,

that's fine. I mean, like...

(IMITATES CAT SNARL)

I just thought, you know, we're in like, you know...

Oh, just fricking start with a kiss.

You're gonna come in right now?

Uh-huh.

Onto my lips?

Hoot! Hoot!

I'm an owl now.

I'm... (CHUCKLING)

STEVIE: Someone's coming. Is that your mom?

What the hell is going on?

CHARNEY: Hurry. Take this.

Me? BOY: Go. Go.

What's happening?

CHARNEY: Shh. She's coming.

MIRANDA: Hi, Mom.

Hi, Ms. Harris. Hi, Ms. Harris.

Hi. How's your girls' night?

Good. Pretty good.

Um, just playing cards.

What's this?

Whose beer is this?

Did you drink this beer? No.

Don't lie to me. (STUTTERS) I'm not.

Is that my coat? Ye... Yeah.

Come here. Come here.

No. Let me smell your breath.

(EXHALES)

Okay.

I'm gonna need to call your mom.

Oh, my God, my mom.

Na... (DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

Maya, what are you doing?

Go to bed.

Just having water.

You like, yelled at me for an hour.

Give me a break.

Okay, just drink it and go to bed.

Okay? Okay.

(SNIFFLES) (KNOCK ON DOOR)

Anna! Maya!

Go away! I'm mad at you.

I'm mad at you too. That's why we need to talk. Open the door.

Keep your voice down. No!

Open the... What the fuck are you doing? No.

Don't. No.

No! Okay.

Whatever.

Hands off.

(WHISPERS) Be quiet.

I got it.

Stop rolling your eyes, Anna.

I'm sorry. I don't realize when I do it.

Ugh!

You just did it... Okay. Well, I didn't mean to.

Sorry.

(SCOFFS)

Well, I'm just glad that you're okay, so...

Well, I'm literally not okay,

because you let me get in trouble by myself.

You're the one that said, "We can't do everything together,"

when you were in the closet with that boy.

I only said that, because I did you-know-what...

(SUCKING) ...and you didn't do it with me.

Are you serious? Shh! My mom!

Oh, my God! I'm being shush...

My mom is literally, like, right outside. So can you please be quiet?

Shh! Are you kidding me?

You just said "are" so loud.

Stop, Anna.

When I came out of the bathroom, you were already like...

Are you serious?

(MOCKINGLY) Are you serious? Yeah, I'm serious.

(MOCKINGLY) Yeah, you serious?

Like, seriously, Anna,

you were the one that was like... (MOCKS GAGGING)

Are you kidding? You did it before me.

Like, we were supposed to have our first, like...

Together.

And now that moment's gone forever.

What happened in the closet with that boy?

I mean, like, nothing. I swear.

Like, he wanted to hook up with me,

but I was like... No.

Did you...

With your guy?

No, he's, like, eight.

Yeah, but he's fucking hot.

Yeah.

I know that you were bored in Pretend.

Na, like...

Come on. You were bored, too, like, don't even pretend.

I know you're just, like, over me.

Na, I'm, like, obviously

never over you.

Like, come here.

No, I know you are.

I'm not. I swear.

Come on.

Just, like, put them on.

(SCOFFS) You bitch!

Slut!

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

ANNA: (WHISPERING) I guess I'm sleeping over.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! (CHUCKLES)

Should we flush it?

We could, like,

still have a first together if you want.

Okay, I will,

if you will, I guess.

I don't know. I'm, like, still drunk.

Yeah, like, big decisions should be made when we're, like, sober.

But I promise, like, when we do do it...

Like, we'll do it together.

Wait. I wanna...

Where you gonna... Up here.

Shh! Shh!

Hmm.

Hoot! Hoot!

I'm an owl now.

(OWL HOOTING)