Original subtitles

- Okay, what are we looking at here?

A flock of cormorants.

A couple mallard.

Not a cormorant.

Well, wait, no, that's a California towhee, I think.

Oh, people.

[sniffs] Yuck.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Ah, nah, that's just a survey flag.

Well, here we are at the exact coordinates

that Sky Shark Mark 92 laid out for a sighting

of the American avocet, and as we just saw,

that was not an American avocet.

It wasn't any kind of avocet.

I mean, all I've seen out here so far

are a bunch of mallards, a common crane or two,

a sea duck that flew off course.

And I guess a few black-necked stilts,

which of course are great, but I mean,

I've already ticked them.

I don't even know.

But I am not prepared to give up hope.

What?

What the heck?

[dramatic music]

- [yelling]

- What is it?

- [yelling]

- What do you mean?

- Bag! Bag!

- You want my bag?

My bag?

- [yelling]

- Ju--

- Bag!

[gasping]

- Are you okay?

Sir?

You're good?

You sure?

Okay.

[grunting]

Sir? Sir?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Wake up. Wake up.

Sir?

- Whoa!

Whoa, whoa.

I'm alive!

I'm alive.

Oh, God.

I thought that was it.

Wait. - What--what happened?

- The pulley.

The pulley, oh, God.

You pull.

It's supposed to go down.

- Yeah.

- I went up.

It was so scary, so scary.

Oh, oh.

- You're okay now?

- I'm okay.

Oh!

Oh, yeah, I'm okay.

I'm sorry.

You must be so busy.

You do--yeah, you do you.

I'm--I got this.

I'm going to--

- Is there somebody you want me to call or?

- No.

I think I'm just--

well, that's a really nice camera.

Wait, wait, yes, yes.

You're not busy, are you?

Can you do me a favor quick?

- Well, I'm kind of--

- No, no, no, I'll pay you $1,000 cash.

I need you for 10 minutes.

- As long as I can remember, I've only had one wish.

It wasn't for $1 billion or a million more wishes.

I just wanted to fly.

Cut to, it's 1994,

a young boy pops in a VHS of a film

called "Terminal Velocity."

He's basking in the glow of Charlie Sheen's brave

and incredibly underrated performance

as skydiver Ditch Brodie.

And that boy knows his dream is going to come true.

But he also knows dreams don't come cheap,

and dreams need help,

which is why you might want to hire someone professional

who might be able to make sure that nothing bad happens,

which is why I contracted you,

your company, Cloudaholics Skydiving,

to make sure everything went okay,

so that, say, I wouldn't be told,

pull your cord anytime after 10 seconds

and accidentally get caught up in the plane's jet stream,

shoot straight up in the air instead of shooting down.

Or--or I wouldn't be advised to say, hey, go ahead

and just jump on your own even though it's your first jump.

You don't need a buddy up there when you're panicking.

There's nobody up there. There's nobody around!

Or--or so that you won't end up 100 miles from the target,

crumpled up on the ground, 90--

Too emotional.

- Huh?

- I said, it's too emotional.

It's too emotional, isn't it?

- Uh--

- I knew it, I knew it.

I knew it.

Look, it's too emotional.

Let me explain to you what I'm trying to do here, okay.

I want to sue Cloudaholics Skydiving.

I want to use the footage you have of me

almost dying in that field.

But I need to combine it with a perfect video.

And my video sucks!

It's too emotional.

- I don't know.

I think the emotion works.

- Really?

- Sure, yeah.

I mean, it shows you're passionate, uncompromising.

It'll play with the jury.

- You just made me feel so good.

You--I was just about to head into a full shame spiral

of self-criticism, and you know what you did?

- What?

- You saved me.

You saved me for the second time today.

Because you are--

I mean, who-- who are you anyway?

You're an angel. You know what?

Let me show you.

I've been focused on myself this whole day.

Okay, who are you?

What's your name?

- Elliot.

- Elliot. [chuckling] Elliot, phone home, ET.

Okay, what are you doing out here, Elliot?

Tell me.

- I'm taking pictures of birds.

- Oh, yeah, I'm taking pictures of you.

What's your blog called?

- "Feathers."

- That's a great name for a blog.

But what are you doing in the middle of nowhere?

Seriously, look at us. We're nowhere.

What are you doing here?

- A guy on the community had confirmed a sighting of a bird

that's on my life list.

- Hmm.

What's it called?

- The American avocet.

- Yeah, what does it look like?

- It's a long-legged bird

with slightly webbed feet and blue legs.

It's got a small, rounded head and a long black bill

that turns slightly upward at the end.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait, wait there.

Did you say blue legs, webbed feet,

small, rounded head, and long black bill

slightly curved at the end?

- Yeah.

- Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, this is going to be a good day, Elliot.

Elliot, come with me.

Hey, where's your car?

- You saw it?

- Okay, keep that camera on. It could be here any second.

I swear, I saw a whole flock of them right up here.

- Oh, man, I can't thank you enough for doing this.

Especially with everything you've been through today.

- Are you kidding me?

This is your wish.

I mean, what did you-- what did you call it?

A life list?

You have to see this bird before you die, Elliot.

- [laughs]

- Look at you.

Look at that happy little boy.

I love how much you love these birds.

It's so pure and beautiful.

Where does it come from?

- I don't know.

I guess I like the whole thing.

I like sneaking up on them

and spending some time with them

before they know I'm there.

When you spend that kind of quality time with a bird,

you tend to get a little--

- Obsessed?

- Well, that's kind of a strong term.

- No, obsession has a bad rap.

There's nothing wrong with obsession.

It's natural.

I mean...

I'm a little obsessed with you, Elliot.

I think you might be a little obsessed with me too.

- What?

- I'm kidding!

Awkward humor alert. Anyway, sorry.

Continue, please.

- Yeah, I mean, I guess I do get a little deep into it,

but I'm not, like, a purist like a lot of birders.

I mean, they look down on the fact that I film them.

- Wait, what?

- Yeah, there's, like, a whole thing about

you know, being out in nature

with the bird alone, no technology.

But I don't know, I guess I'm different.

For me, the way to enjoy it best is to film them.

And then you end up with, like, these tapes

you can watch over and over and over again.

I mean, I have, like, a whole closet full of them.

You probably think I'm a weirdo.

[tires screeching]

- I don't think it's weird at all.

- Huh?

- I think it's beautiful.

This is beautiful, man.

This--this sharing, this-- this honesty here, it's just...

While I have you, just the two of us,

can I ask,

you ever bait your birds?

- What do you mean?

- I think you know what I mean.

You ever try to lure them in a little bit with, like,

a "ca-caw," bird call, or maybe some food?

- No, I'd never do that.

That's entirely unethical.

- What about capturing?

- Capturing?

- Yeah.

You ever want to, like-- like, jump on them with a bag,

and like, you know,

try and take a little buddy home with you?

- No, God, no.

- Why?

Would the birds die in the bag?

- I don't think so.

It'd just be hard to catch in the first place.

Besides, I never do that.

- Elliot, have you seen the film "American Beauty"?

There is a line from it that perfectly encapsulates

what we're talking about here.

- Shut up, shut up, shut up.

Did you see that?

- Wait, where--where you going?

Wait, wait. Elliot!

Come back!

- Shit!

Shit!

I'm sorry, man.

I thought for sure that--

Sir?

Hello?

Where did you go?

[scraping]

Fuck.

Guess I'm going to have to go find him.

[both screaming]

[running footsteps]

- Elliot.

Elliot, don't you walk away from me.

Don't you walk away from me.

I got something to say to you!

Hey!

Look, sometimes a man, he can spend all his time

looking for a special bird, and he doesn't realize

there's, like, a pretty decent regular bird in front of him.

You feel your heart?

You feel the way it's beating right now,

that gushing blood?

You were looking for the--for that feeling

from that special bird,

and sometimes there's a regular bird

right in front of you that can--

that can give you that same feeling.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

- Yeah.

- Elliot, do not lie to me.

No more lying.

Do you understand what I'm saying to you?

- Yes, yes.

- Come on.

[engine starts]

[dinging]

- Door's locked.

- Mm-hmm.

- The door is locked!

- I know.

- Okay, can you push the little button?

Do you want to?

- Not really.

- Okay, what's going on?

- I can explain that.

- Yeah, I can explain it too.

This is bird bait.

And this is a liar.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Sir!

Sir!

[tires squealing]

- This is not going to work

unless we're honest with each other, Elliot.

- What?

- I first need you to admit that

you're a little bit obsessed with me.

- I can't--I can't understand what you're saying.

- I said, I'm not giving you your car back

until you admit that you're obsessed with me!

- Okay.

I'm obsessed.

- With me.

- Yes, yes, with you.

- Okay, good. That's good.

Now, second, I need you to tell me

you understood what I meant with my special bird metaphor.

- I--I think I understood.

- I don't think you did, Elliot.

- Can I just have my car back now?

- No, you may not.

Not until you tell me you understood what I meant

with my special bird metaphor!

- Can you please just come back here

so we can talk about this without screaming?

- You are so frustrating!

God!

- Jesus Christ.

What?

Where? Where?

Where?

Where? Where?

- It's in the pond.

The blue legs, the webbed feet.

- [panting]

[sighs] Man, fuck this.

Look, can I just have my keys back now, please?

- No, Elliot.

No, you cannot.

Not until we clear up all these lies.

- Oh, man, I am getting so tired of this.

The sun is going down.

I know you think I've been lying to you.

- No, no, Elliot. No, no, no, no, no.

It's not you, it's me.

I'm the one who's been lying.

- It's okay.

We all do it.

I--I lied about the baiting.

- Clearly.

- Can I just have my keys?

And I will drop you wherever you need to go.

- No.

No. No.

No.

I need you to understand

why I have been so emotional.

And I need to show you.

And when I show you, Elliot,

you are going to understand everything.

Okay, you rolling? You ready? - Yeah. - Okay.

Here we go.

Uh, hold on. [chuckles]

Helps if there's a little bit of wind.

Give that another shot.

It's just--anyway, the point is that

the regular bag sort of undulates and dances

in this very special way because of the wind.

If you'd seen "American Beauty" or listened

to what I was trying to tell you before

you cut me off earlier, you'd understand.

But fine, we're here now, so it's--

it's really-- there's never any wind

when you need it, is there, Eliot?

It's really frustrating.

- Yeah, I think I get it.

- No, Eliot, I really don't think you do.

- I don't-- - No, you don't get it!

You don't get it!

Elliot?

- Yeah?

- I'm just trying--

I'm just trying to tell you I think you're special.

That's all I'm trying to do here, all day.

That's why I lied to you about the bird.

It's why I lied to you about Cloudaholics Skydiving.

I didn't get lost up there, Elliot.

I found you.

I found you down here.

It was almost like-- like you were baiting me.

And so I came to you.

And then you spent all day

looking for that stupid special bird!

And I'm just regular.

Why can't regular be special, Elliot?

- Look, dude, I don't--

- Elliot, shut your mouth.

Shut up, shut up.

[whispering] The special bird is right there.

Elliot! I know you don't believe me.

I would not lie about this.

Look!

- Uh...

- Look!

Look!

- Holy shit.

It's the avocet.

- That's right, Elliot.

It's your special bird.

And now you have a choice to make.

And this is not a test in any way.

Special or regular?

- What are you doing? - I baited you.

I baited you.

- What the fuck are you doing?

Get away from me.

- Yeah!

Elliot!

Go!

- What are you doing?

[laughter]

[panting and grunting]

[grunting]

- It's okay.

It's okay.

It's okay. It's okay.

[panting]

[dramatic music]