Original subtitles

Thank you.

I'm late.

First day, too. But fortunately, Pam Tucker, Saturday office assistant,

in advance.

Last night, I went over the office procedures and phone system with Mrs.

McKechnie. Oh, here are your morning charts.

And I typed up your schedule, Dr.

Huxtable. Well, Miss Tardy, I'm impressed.

Nine o 'clock, we have Mrs. Friedman, and then Mrs.

Hodge, and then Mrs. Cortina, and then your last patient is Mrs. Minifield.

Mrs. Minifield.

What's wrong with her?

Well, Mrs.

Minifield is different.

When you see her, you'll know.

That that's Mrs. Minifield. And the good news is, any day now, she's going to

deliver.

Hello?

What time is Mrs. Minifield's appointment?

11 o 'clock.

It's 8 .30.

You're right on time.

We're not open yet. I know. Yeah. I had my husband drop me off.

Why would he do that?

Because I'm nine months pregnant. I didn't want to walk.

Why couldn't he just drop you off at 1045?

Because I'm already here.

Well, Miss Tucker, why don't you take Mrs. Minifield out to the waiting room?

Yes, sir, Dr. Huxtable. And, uh, Mrs. Minifield, please don't give any medical

tips to any of my patients.

Okay, I promise.

Well, good, good.

Rudy, we have to get moving on this piñata. The starch is starting to dry

Stanley, this is a group social studies project.

And our group isn't all here yet.

Well, everybody that matters is here.

Oh, I forgot. The third wheel.

Stanley, I really hate it when you call Kenny a wheel. He's my friend.

And he's jealous of us, and he's a troublemaker.

Why'd you have to pick him to be in our group?

Because he's my friend.

Stanley, as a favor to me, be patient with him.

You know he's had a hard time dealing with our relationship.

I was just waiting for Deirdre.

Hello.

Hello.

Oh, can I take your coat, Deirdre?

Allow me, Dee Dee.

Thanks, Kenny.

What a nice kitchen.

Thank you.

Nice going, Kenny. You finally made it to the big leagues.

Well, Stan, I was always there. There was just no need to broadcast my

life.

Well, I guess so.

Did you bring the balloons for the pinata, Kenny?

Got them right here.

I'll help you blow them up, if you want.

Yeah, Dee Dee has good lungs.

She plays the saxophone.

Well, I'm not that good.

Well, she's a wizard, Crash.

She went to our camp.

Well, in that case, you can stir the starch.

answered all of the questions?

And everything seems to be just fine.

Mrs. Minifield, are you adhering to the diet that I gave you?

Except for the calcium, yes.

What do you mean, except for the calcium?

I'm eating lots of calcium. My husband doesn't have strong bones, so I'm

tripling up on my calcium intake.

Wouldn't you agree?

Well, he doesn't have a strong handshake.

There, you see?

I see, but what does that have to do with your calcium intake?

Our baby has half my husband's genes, and I'm making up for what he lacks by

eating lots of calcium, cheese, milk.

It's called genetic compensation.

Do you read this in a book?

Nope. I made it up.

Ms. Tucker?

Yes, Dr. Huxtable? Would you please confirm the reservation for Mrs.

Minifield at the Brookridge Hospital?

Right away, Dr.

Huxtable. Now, we've gone over this procedure before, haven't we? Yes. Now,

the contractions reach eight minutes apart, that's when you call me.

Now, what did I just say?

Call you every eight minutes.

That isn't what I said. I want you to call me when the

contractions are consistently eight minutes apart.

I understand completely.

I don't want you to call me at eight o 'clock, and I don't want you to call me

eight times a day.

Eight minutes apart.

You call me any time if you have any questions.

Pregnancy questions.

Okay, thank you.

Well, I guess I'm off. Yes, more ways than one.

Bye -bye.

Dr. Huxtable, according to Mrs. McKechnie, after Miss Minifield leaves,

always put your head on the desk for ten minutes and contemplate why you went to

med school.

Is that correct, Dr. Huxtable?

Yes.

Okay, the first leg's ready to be attached to the spider.

Oh, Dee Dee, that's coming along beautifully.

It's only starch, Kenny.

It's not the starch.

It's who's on the other end of the spoon.

I don't get it.

Aren't piñatas usually shaped like donkeys or something?

Well, that's not very creative.

We shouldn't be doing something that everybody else does. As somebody who

to art camp, you should know that, Deidre.

Yeah, you're right, Rudy.

Why should it be a donkey when it could be an araña?

An araña?

An araña means spider in Spanish.

Ooh.

We can use that in our report on Mexico.

What other languages can you speak, Didi?

Besides English?

That's true.

Well, you two are perfect together.

Didi knows Spanish, and you know.

Well, let's just say you look good together.

Thank you, Stan. Or should I say, gracias, mi hombre.

So, Deidre, how long have you two been seeing each other?

I can answer that.

Especially since Wednesday.

Wednesday? You mean like three days ago?

Yeah. In four days, we'll have our first week anniversary.

Well, congratulations.

Here's to a long -lasting relationship.

Yeah, congratulations.

I didn't even know you guys knew each other.

Well, actually, we didn't.

Until that magic moment when Kenny came up to me at my locker. Right after

fourth period.

That's right.

It was like out of one of those old 1970s movies.

I was not standing there.

And from across the crowded hall, I heard a voice say, Hello over there by

locker. Would you like to go with me?

I turned around and there he was.

I looked in his eyes and I heard bells.

Deidre, the classes were changing.

Well, they were ringing in my heart.

The truth is, I've liked Kenny since the beginning of the year.

You have?

Yeah. That's why I was so excited when he gave me your address and told me to

meet him here today.

Then he asked me to write down my hobbies, special interests, and favorite

colors.

You made the girl fill out a profile?

That's right, and I keep it next to my heart.

So let me get this straight, Kenny. You met Deidre after fourth period on

Wednesday. Yeah.

Right after social studies class when I picked you to be the third... Well...

...member in our group.

Merely coincidence.

Kenny, can I see you in the living room, please?

Sure.

I won't be long, Dee Dee.

All right, Kenny. What? are you doing this?

Doing what?

Don't make me say this. Say what?

You're just pretending to like Deidre.

Rudy, could that be jealousy I hear in your voice?

How could I be jealous if I'm with Stanley?

You must ask yourself that, Rudy.

Well, I'm not jealous.

Well, then you would have no problem with our relationship, as deep as it is.

mean, Deidre and I may have only known each other for three days, but our souls

have known each other for eternity.

I mean, there's not one minute that goes by that I don't think of the touch of

her hand, the look of her laugh, the moment her lips touch mine.

You kissed her?

Oh, well, that's not uncommon in a relationship as strong as ours.

So you could go in there right now and kiss her.

Well, I... Oh, well, you don't have to. I already have my answer.

You know, you shouldn't be making up stories like that.

What story?

I kissed her.

Sure I have.

And I'll prove it to you.

You will?

Yeah.

Yeah. You just tell Gigi to come in here.

Okay.

You see, Diddy, I have something very personal to ask you.

Yes?

Can I borrow your lip gloss?

What? It's winter. Chap lips.

All right, Kenny, I have had enough.

First you say you want to go with me.

Then you make me fill out a questionnaire.

For three days I don't hear from you, and then I meet you here and you start

bragging about me.

And now you want to borrow my makeup?

this is funny, then you're just really mean.

Wait, it's not them.

It's me.

And I didn't mean to hurt you. I guess I was just using you.

Oh, I feel much better now.

But I wouldn't have done it if I'd known you liked me.

Because then I could have liked you back.

And I wouldn't have had to pretend.

Did you meet in there when you said you liked me?

Yes. All right.

But I don't anymore.

the same guy I saw in the hallway.

The sad thing is I like to despite what everybody says about you.

What does everybody say?

They say you're an odd duck.

You march to the beat of your own drummer.

Well, that's not so bad.

Couldn't you like someone who does that?

I did.

Until today.

Well, that's good news.

The way I was acting today, that's not me.

I was acting that way because of Rudy.

Why? What did she do to you?

We started seeing Stanley.

And then everything changed.

We used to go to the movies, the mall, and to get pizza together.

And now you don't go to those places with her anymore.

No, I go.

It's just that he's always there.

Oh, how sad.

I've got to go.

Wait.

Can I walk you home?

You didn't walk me here.

That's because I was an idiot.

Now I worry about you.

Look, you don't have to like me. All I want to do is walk you home.

Okay.

Hello, excuse us.

Nice seeing you.

Can I get the door for you, Diddy?

My name is Deirdre.

Got it.

I'll be walking Deirdre home.

Stop staring and stir the starch, Stanley.

End of Pam Tucker's birthday on the job.

How'd I do?

I didn't even know I had a substitute.

Sounds like a salary bump to me.

But there's no salary at all.

Come on, Cousin Cliff, cough it up.

All of a sudden, it's Cousin Cliff.

I'm off the clock.

You're off the clock.

Almost.

Dr. Huxtable's office. Go ahead.

Yes, one moment, please.

It's Mrs. Minifield.

Hi,

Mrs. Minifield.

Dr. Huxtable. Yes.

How far apart are the contractions supposed to be when I call you?

Eight minutes apart.

Oh, dear.

Oh, dear, oh, dear, what? Mrs.

Minifield, how far apart are they, oh, dear?

You'll get mad at me.

No, no, no, I'm not going to get... I'm not going to get mad at you, Mrs.

Minifield. How far apart are they? You're yelling at me!

Mrs. Minifield, I'm not yelling at you, Mrs. Minifield. How far apart are they?

Five?

Four?

Four! Mrs. Minifield, I told you... you to call me when the contractions are

eight minutes apart.

I know, but they jump from ten to four.

They jumped?

Last time I checked, they were ten minutes. Now they're coming every four

minutes. Good. Now, Mrs. Menneville, listen to me carefully.

You are not in any danger, but I want you to get to the hospital. You need to

get to the hospital as soon as... As possible.

Now, is your husband there?

He's running errands, but I can leave him a note.

No, no, Ms. Minfield.

Ms. Minfield, don't leave a note.

You've got to get to the hospital.

Now, is there someone who can put you in a cab?

I think so.

Ah, okay. Now, Ms. Minfield, here's what I want you to do. I want you to call

the cab, and I want you to get your overnight bag.

You have that, don't you? Yes.

Now, you and the overnight bag, you both get into the cab.

You understand what I'm saying?

Okay, get into the cab. You head for the hospital. Take about 15 minutes, I

guess. All right? Maybe my husband can pick you up on the way back from the dry

cleaners.

I will meet you there,

and we will go in together.

All right?

All right.

This is so exciting. A baby my first day. Do you want me to do anything?

Should I boil some water?

Yes. You can boil some water.

And put a teabag in it.

Okay. One cup of tea to go, Dr. Huxtable. Yes.

Brookridge Hospital.

Dr. Huxtable.

Coming in with Mrs.

Minifield.

Be ready for anything.

Here's your tea, Dr. Huxtable. I put it in one of the twins' devil cups so it

wouldn't spill in the car.

Don't forget to tell Mrs.

Huxtable where I am.

You're covered.

Tell me that's not Dr. Huxtable's car.

Can't do that.

Dr. Hospital, somebody hit your car!

What?

Somebody hit your car.

Are you kidding me?

Hey! You think because you got doctor's license plates you can park that thing

in the middle of the street? I wasn't parked in the middle of the street.

Look, I don't have time for this. I've got an emergency.

I have a lady in my cabin. She's about to have a baby.

How far apart are the contractions? She told me not to tell you.

According to my meter, she's having one about every three blocks.

Whoa.

Dad, what's going on?

I'll tell you what's going on. Your father wrecked my cabin. That lady's

a baby in it.

Wow.

Pam, go tell Nurse Travis to bring my cord set. I need some sterile towels and

gloves.

I'm on it. This is unbelievable.

Dad, you want me to call the ambulance?

The number's on the phone. You know what to do. All right.

She told me that she was in airport.

with one stop on the way.

Gloves and towels, towels and gloves.

Move aside.

Otherwise, I wouldn't have picked up in the first place.

Move aside, move aside. Can't you see we're delivering a baby here?

All right, push, Mrs.

Menopale, push.

I am pushing.

I don't mean with your foot on my forehead.

Push.

Hey, the meter's still running. Don't you know it. And as soon as she sits up,

we're going to the airport.

Well, hi, Kenny.

Hey, Rudy.

I thought I acted like a jerk.

That's okay. I acted like one, too.

So, what happened to Deidre?

I walked her home.

Guess she got me tomorrow if I call her.

Are you gonna call her?

Ooh, yeah.

Guess you're gonna have to call somebody sometime.

Yeah. Now you and I have something in common again.

Well, I'm happy for you.

I'm happy for me, too.

And I'm happy for you.

So does this mean you won't be tagging along with me and Stanley anymore?

Well, I'll be tagging.

I'll just have Deirdre with me.

We'll double.

Are you coming over to paint the spider tomorrow?

Wouldn't miss it.

You know, Deirdre's a very complicated woman.

I'm into your advice on how women think.

Why don't you ask your brother?

I would, but he hasn't been too accurate lately.

Kenny, your brother was never accurate.

Yeah, but he is like family.

So are you.

Thanks.

I'll see you tomorrow, Rudy.

All right, bye.

Bud.