Original subtitles

Thank you.

Okay. I'll meet you there at 4 o 'clock.

Bye.

People!

Dad, thank God you're home.

It's an emergency.

I need money.

It's urgent.

It's not for me, it's for clothes.

I talked to all my friends and everyone's going to be wearing baby doll

the first day of school.

Don't worry about her. She has no idea how privileged she thinks she's just

starting junior high. By the way, I need a phone card.

Do you think you can fix that for me?

Come on, there are a lot of people that I need to communicate with from school.

Here's a quarter.

Call your friends, collect.

Where are you going?

To the backyard to study. Oh, that's right. You got the summer school final.

Yeah. Physics.

Yeah. The class you failed last spring.

I didn't fail.

Scientifically speaking, gravity pulled my grade down.

No,

no. Ordinarily, I could have easily gotten a D in that class.

A whole D you could have gotten?

Boy, I came to this house and was forced to start studying. I had a foolproof

method. The cab system.

The cab system?

That's right. For multiple choice questions.

C -A -B.

C -A -B.

But you got left back.

B -A -C.

B -A -C.

I passed my other finals. That's all right. Good luck, hon. I'm serious.

Hey, Dad.

You don't live here?

I know, but my roommates have some friends staying over, so I stayed in my

room. Yo, besides that, this will always be my home.

You don't distract me either.

Oh, Sandra, don't be silly, you little chicken head. You don't have to keep

thanking us.

We are more than happy to co -sign your home loan.

Yes!

Okay. All right. Bye -bye.

Sandra and Alvin, on their way over, one last paper for you to co -sign for

their home loan.

Wonderful.

Claire, my loveliest love of the lovelies, if I asked you

about November, what would you say?

What would you want me to say?

Whatever is in your heart.

Okay. Yeah. You're wasting my time.

It's a cruel, cruel, cruel... blooded stroke you made on me that time, but

I am not going to be distracted.

Now, I worked very hard, my darling, to give you the gift of the giftiest gifts.

Pull it out.

Ta -da!

This is the gift of the giftiest giver. That is correct.

Raggedy blueprint of our home. Now, how many bedrooms have we in this house? We

have four, right? There's ours.

There's Olivia and Rudy and there's Pam and Vanessa. And then there's Denise and

Martin. And while they're away in Asia on Martin's duty tour, it has somehow

become Theo's summer cottage.

What does this have to do with November?

I'm glad you asked. See, I'm getting to that. See, this summer I have accepted

the fact, my darling, that we are not getting any younger.

Also, that these children are determined to stay here until we die.

Will that be November?

Just the opposite. In November, you are going to live, my love. Please

turn to page two downstairs.

That's right. You see, this is the room. Now, here.

I have watched you, my darling, for years walk around that house

searching for a spot of privacy somewhere in the house.

But those people put on a strong campaign.

No matter where you went, there was someone here, but here, but here, but

but here.

And you found nothing there.

And I say to you, my dear, right here is the Claire Hanks

Huxtable Memorial do -what -you -want -anytime -you -want -to -do -with -it

room. And you don't have to be damned to enjoy it.

We're going to have our own room? Not we. You do with it what you want to do.

You want to make a library? You want to make an office?

You want to make a...

Den of love.

Well, maybe we could do all three.

Right on, right on.

Oh, this is almost too much. My own room, a quiet room.

Yes, it is.

Mom, I... How many times have I asked you to knock before you enter

this bedroom?

Why, it's daytime.

You know, we could put an electrical beam across that room there, and

anybody coming in with a bad attitude or no money wouldn't be able to come in.

Let's go look at it.

No, no, no, you can't look at it, dear. Not until November.

Oh, no, Cliff.

November! Uh -uh. Huh? It's there.

It's there? Do you believe? If I believe. It's there. I believe it's

Mom, Dad doesn't understand. I need money for clothes. I gave you money for

clothes in July, Rudy, and you bought them then.

But, Mom, I... Rudy!

Pennsylvania. No, Ohio means hello in Japanese.

That's what my dad said on the tape they sent.

So, do you like my new kimono?

It's very lovely, Olivia.

It needs to be ironed. Can you iron it, please?

Uh, later.

Mom, I... But it needs to be ironed now. I told you later, yes. Do you believe?

I do believe. Mom, come on. It needs to be ironed, please.

You're not going to distract me either. Wait, what about that iron? Please,

please, please. Pull my...

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Get off! Get off of your mother's room!

Here, here, on down, right on, and to stop right here.

I could put a chair and a matching ottoman right here. Yes, yes, got it.

Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.

You know, and a nice area rug, too.

Yes, please.

This is weird.

What are you guys doing?

Your father is building me a new room.

Another room.

All right.

Yeah. It'll be great to have a place to study or for out -of -town guests. Or I

can have a crash pad when the Mesa Martin get back. Yeah.

Somebody snatched your brains.

This is your mother's room. Your mother's room. Your mother's.

We can soundproof the room, dear.

Double insulated sound. Oh, yes. Big, thick steel door with the things that

would shank when you close it. Little kids outside sounding like this.

Look at this sugar pie.

Winnie, winnie.

And Nelson.

Oh, what's the matter with Nelson?

Nelson's mad because he just got a haircut.

Come on, Elvin. Let's take these things to the kitchen.

Okay. Nelson, you going to stay with Grandpa?

Yes. You going to be a good boy?

Yes. All right.

Oh, you have to get a haircut sooner or later.

Everybody's got to get one.

I have to be great.

Yes, you do, and they are beautiful.

The lady did them, and she told me her name.

Well, what is her name?

I don't know. I forgot.

But I have it up here.

on the house. Yes, yes, yes. Great. Mom's finally getting her own room.

Dad, between our new home and your new room, you're really into the home

business.

Well, Dad, if you'll just sign this last...

financial authorization.

Claire?

Didn't Claire tell you about this? What?

We're not signing this. Uh -huh.

We're not signing it because what I've done is I have... Uh -huh. I have an

architect coming. Uh -huh. No, I'm serious.

What are you... Uh -huh. No, don't do that. I'm not signing the thing because

you're... I got you. I got you.

Ah!

Good one, Dad.

That was a good one. That was good.

You got me. No, you're... I know, I know.

You got...

That was so funny.

Please, Dad.

You have no idea, man. It's only small moments in life that you have.

Sign it.

I can see when you're getting serious.

Okay. Dad, we really appreciate this. Heathcliff, two F's are one.

Okay. Here we go.

There you are.

No, thank you. Why don't you let me have it so I can show it to the women

because they love commitment, you know.

Congratulations.

Thanks, Dad.

Congratulations.

Good luck. Thank you. That's a lot of responsibility.

I know.

A lot of responsibility.

Yes, sir.

The big R.

I just signed your loan papers.

Thanks, Dad. Mom.

Congratulations. Thanks. I think Alvin's beginning to feel the pressure.

Oh, Dad.

He's been that way for about three weeks now. But I'm sure he'll breathe easier

once we close.

Yeah.

Daddy's okay.

It's just a little buyer's remorse.

Daddy's buying a horse! Yay!

Why don't you leave the

two of us, okay?

He'll be all right.

Responsibility? No, Dad.

Commitment? No.

It's neither of those things, Dad.

It's the money!

All that money!

Every month!

You make payment after payment for years a day!

You miss one...

Are you planning on missing the payment?

No, of course not.

Then you would have to pay for it. I don't think I could live with that.

Well, I've got news for you. I don't think we're going to live with it

All Mrs. Huxtable and I did was we co -signed.

We didn't say, we don't plan to make any payment. You missed the payment and...

Wait a minute!

a word but but what if someone spread some kind of nasty rumor about me and i

get fired what is it that i don't know about you nothing nothing but you know

people say things you know i'll forget that but what if what if people stop

getting sick i have no other skills

pressure on yourself, then you have to. You're a doctor. Your wife is a lawyer.

You got a lovely family. You got in -laws that are protecting you and

you up. I mean, who else would you want to trade places with?

No, no, no, no, no, no. Now get yourself together now.

Okay, Dad. Yeah, you're a homeowner now.

Homeowners unite.

Pretty overwhelming.

We got all the paperwork taken care of, met with a real estate lawyer, and went

down to the bank this morning to close.

And we're really looking forward to moving in. Yeah, we've even called the

company. They're ready to move us out of our old apartment. As the leaf says...

Clean, no penalty.

And we'll be moving this Monday.

Hello. Into a motel.

A motel?

Life's a funny thing, you know.

Actually, it's kind of sad. The other couple whose house we were going to

We are buying.

We are buying. This morning at the closing, she handed her husband divorce

papers. It's kind of funny, isn't it? Yeah.

It was kind of an ugly morning because we were sitting across from these two

people at the bank.

And she was muttering something about dirty socks and infidelity. And all of a

sudden, she's like lunging these papers at his throat, screaming, we're

perpetrating a lie!

But the realtor assures us that this is a very common thing.

Although it's the first time it's happened to us.

So naturally, we'll need some place to stay until they settle the divorce

proceedings, which could be any day now.

Or at the most a month or two.

I'll take the case.

Pro bono, no fee.

Mom, it's not that easy.

Okay, Sandra, Elvin, there is no more room in this house.

Ordinarily, I would agree with Mom, but on the way from the closing, we worked

it out on paper. Yeah, you see, we move into Denise and Martin's room while

they're away in Asia. And the twins can stay with us.

Or... Or Rudy moves in with Pam. While Vanessa's away at school. And the twins

can move in with Olivia. Which would give her some nice company. It's a

of disruption, and everyone is pleased.

Mom and Dad, ordinarily, we would have stayed with friends if they would have

had room for us.

Or, you know, we can stay at that cheap motel.

In the city.

With your grandchildren.

Muffin, I think it's time to go.

Mom and Dad, might we take a cup of coffee with us that Elvin and I could

in the motel room?

Perhaps we could have a glass of water, liquid, for the children.

And might we take that box of uneaten crackers for your grandchildren?

That's a good idea, honey. We'll eat it in the car on the way to the motel.

Right, on the way to the motel. Yes. Maybe we'll save it for the motel and

it with the children.

It's no sense, dear. These people are serious.

These people are not playing fair at all. And we might as well just not build

that room. Just let them have the house. They want it. Let them have it.

Now, you listen to me. No, you listen to me. These people are serious. And they

play hardball.

Anybody who stoops low enough to use their children, our grandchildren...

sleeping in this motel. And they left out the rats and the snakes and all of

those things. I'm telling you, dear, let them have it. They will never, ever get

the Clare Hanks Huxtable Memorial.

Listen, we will clear the land.

We will fell the trees. We will...

pay no attention to them.

We are going to make this happen.

Sandra and Alvin are all tucked in, and I am confused to announce that with all

that, we still have our own bedroom.

You know, Cliff, we only have a few days left on this planet. Yes, and the

pitiful thing about it is that we're going to have to spend it with these

people. Yes, but not as visitors in our own home.

No, I'm not going to let them do that to you. How are you going to stop it? I'm

going to give them plenty to shoot down. Are you kidding me? No, I'm not.

We were talking about it.

Banding this house, I said, let's go for it and extend the kitchen.

You mean the way I always wanted to?

Can I have a window box to grow the herbs in?

And a corner cabinet with a lazy Susan?

You can spin all night. Oh, really?

This is the kitchen.

Oh, the kitchen, dear, I explained to you before.

It's next to the den of love.

See, I wore my orange so you could find me.