Original subtitles

Listen, you guys stay right here.

Dinner's almost ready, all right? Don't move, you guys.

Stay right there.

Don't move.

Well, look who's here.

Frick and Frack.

Come to dinner, huh?

Well, I want my kiss and my hug now.

Give me my kiss.

Give me my... Give me my... Hey,

you. Hey, you. Give me my hug.

How you doing, man?

How you doing?

Oh, your cups are empty.

I'll fill them for you, okay?

What do you want?

Water, milk, or juice?

Juice.

Don't move.

Oh, the twins.

I could just eat them up.

Cousin Claire, if you want, I could babysit the twins for you tomorrow

don't have any plans.

Oh, thanks, Pam, but that's all right. I want to spend as much time with them as

I possibly can.

Hey, Mom, the twins are old enough to eat corn, right?

Yeah. But you have to take it off the cob.

Oh, man, I knew I should have made peas.

Hi, Mom.

Hi. So how'd your doctor's appointment go?

Oh, I am healthy. I'm in great shape, and I'm beginning menopause.

Uh, do you want me to leave the room so you guys can talk about that?

You're silly.

It's just a part of life.

Wow, she sure has taken it pretty well.

Yeah, she seems almost happy with it.

No. No, Mom is just putting up a brave front.

Got to be.

This is just the calm before the storm.

That's right.

I have read magazine articles. There have been cases where women have cried

much, they had to have surgery on their tear ducts.

Vanessa, Mom is not a crier.

Well, I guess you're right.

We should be more concerned with the state of confusion she's going to be in.

That's right. State of confusion? Come on, you guys.

Mrs. Peabody from around the corner?

What ever happened to her? I haven't seen her in a long time.

Well, from what I understand, one day it just hit her. The poor woman got up one

day and couldn't decide what to wear.

A simple thing like a skirt or a suit, a black sweater or a red sweater, flats

or pumps.

Finally, she got so flustered, she just threw on a house coat and never left the

house again.

That's so sad, but true.

And don't forget about the hot flashes.

Hey, now I heard about those.

That's right.

The lady that owned the tropical fish store in my neighborhood got them.

Yeah, she used to leave the air conditioner on high all winter.

Kept all the doors open. The fish froze.

That's so sad.

It's true. She had to move to Alaska.

Well, you know, women also pass out when they go through it. Now, from what I

heard about Cockroach's mother...

Her husband stopped taking her places because she kept passing out in public.

Everybody at church thought she got the Holy Ghost.

Well, I think I know what Mom's going to miss the most. You know, she can't have

any more children.

I don't think Mom wanted more children.

Yes, Theo, but still.

She was always such a strong, vital mother.

Yeah, she was, wasn't she?

I haven't been here that long, but...

She was always vital with me.

Theo, is the twins' dinner ready? Uh, yeah, Mom. Okay, good. I'll just get

ready, and then I'll bring in the dinner getter.

Oh, these things are pretty heavy.

How could she lift both of them up at the same time?

People under stress often have extraordinary strength.

That's what happens to women in this stage of life.

Menopause.

Charmaine, how you doing, Lance? Don't disturb him. He's focused on victory. We

shouldn't even be talking.

Charmaine, my game.

Well, I'm a little off today. Otherwise, it'd be a different story. Don't feel

bad, big fella.

It's free.

See, when it comes to ping pong, I'm the ping and you the pong.

Anybody else want to get ponged?

Come on, Lance. Come on over here and stop profiling. Oh, excuse me.

What's up, Pat? Hey, how you doing?

talking about? Of course we do. That's when we rendezvous for our evening of

culture and enlightenment.

You mean in my house in front of the TV?

Why don't we do something different for a change?

Why, your TV broke?

No, I just want to do something outside.

Like what?

Like ice skating.

Love to, baby, but I don't think the weatherman is going to cooperate.

See, he has assured me that it's going to rain. And I know how delicate you

See, I don't want you to catch a cold.

Sugar melts in the rain.

Oh, Lance, you're so sensitive.

Pam,

I was wondering if you were busy this Saturday night.

Not that you wouldn't be. It's kind of late and I apologize for that. Aaron,

free. Oh, good.

Good. Because I've been reading up on our neighborhood and there are many

historical houses there.

I thought it would be nice if you and I took a moonlit walking tour.

Erin, it's a wonderful idea.

Thank you. Not on Saturday. It's gonna rain.

Oh, no, I checked the weather forecast. It's gonna be 48 degrees, unseasonably

warm for this time of year, and clear.

You hear that, Lance? His weatherman says it's gonna be clear.

Pam, I was looking at your key ring the other day, and I couldn't help but

notice that the clasp was kind of weak, and...

I don't want you to lose your keys.

That's why I got you this.

Actually, I made it.

It's no big deal. I kind of read up on how to do it. It's just some simple

handcrafted leather tooling.

The process has been around for centuries.

Erin, it's beautiful.

Ain't nothing wrong with your key, right?

It's a cape from Henry V.

You probably forgot you were reading Henry V when we first met. I remember.

Kate, that ain't even her name.

Look, man, I have to go. But I just want to say one thing. On Saturday night, if

I am sitting at home in front of my television, I'll be sitting there alone.

I said I would walk. I'm the original Walkman.

I just put him to bed and I miss Winnie and Nelson already.

I'm sure you do, Mom.

It'll be all right.

Yes, it will.

Isn't it hot in here?

Oh, yeah.

And no wonder. Who turned this thing up to 82 degrees?

Mom, why don't you relax?

Theo and I are making dinner.

There's no sense troubling you.

Well, thank you, Vanessa. That's very nice. But at least I could dress the

salad, darling.

Now, let's see.

Um, French.

We haven't had this in a long time.

But then, poppy seeds is rather nice, too.

Of course, the last time we had this, your father was not thrilled.

But then Rudy doesn't like French.

Mom, why don't we have both?

Hey, yeah, that would be a delicious blend. Sounds great, Mom.

And that way you don't have... You have to confuse yourself.

Confuse myself.

Hey, Theo. Hey, Vanessa.

Hello, Cousin Claire.

Pam, is the offer still good for Saturday night?

Oh, well, actually, I did make a date, but let me go break it. I'll break it.

I'll be happy to break it.

No, no, you don't have to do that. Are you sure? I don't want to upset you.

Not going to upset me.

No, no, I'll break it.

Well, now, that would upset me.

I definitely don't want to do that.

What was I doing?

Oh, yes, that's right, the salad. Take them care of, Mom.

Okay, then I'll warm these buns.

Taking care of.

Mom, why don't you just relax?

All right.

Okay, I'll do that. I'll do just that.

There are three idiots in the kitchen.

You have to be more specific.

Vanessa, Theo, and Pam.

I made the mistake of telling them that I was beginning menopause, and they're

treating me like I have one foot in the home.

No, I'm serious. I went into the kitchen.

There were three burners on. The oven was on.

The thermostat had been turned up to 82 degrees, and they thought I was having

hot flashes.

So they're pulling out all the cliches. You should have heard it when they

talked to me. Yeah. Like my mind was on vacation.

You want to have some fun?

Be right back.

All right, just in time for dinner.

Turkey burgers all around.

Oh, turkey burgers. Please put one on my plate.

Now,

what shall I put on it? Well, why don't you put some mustard on it, sweetie?

Don't patronize me.

I know what I want.

I want... I want the red stuff.

It's ketchup.

Theo.

Give me a glass of water, Rudy.

Mom,

I'm Vanessa.

Whoever you are, get me a glass of water.

And put some ice in it.

Okay.

No, never mind, never mind. Forget the water. Just bring the ice. Lots of ice.

Pam, where's the towel? Coming right up.

I forget.

Get out of my way, please.

This is so much better.

Get me some ice cream while you're in there, please.

Have you lost your mind?

Ice cream would melt in this room.

A person could burn up in this room.

Never mind. Let's get you this dinner.

Now, where is Rudy?

Mom, don't you remember?

Denise took her and Olivia out to dinner. Then who is Denise?

Would you like some corn?

Dr. Huxtable was catching them all. Zam, boom, zoom, send them out. Zam, boom,

zoom. When I grow up, I want to have lots of babies. Yeah?

Really? How many do you think?

Nine. Nine? All girls.

Not one boy?

Eh, no boys. No way.

Oh, now, wait a minute.

Now, what's wrong with boys?

Is there one bad one in particular?

Yes, Jonathan.

He's the worst.

Whenever I look at him, he makes the ugly monster face like this.

No.

Don't do that. Don't do it. No, that's enough.

Well, you know, boys have a funny way of telling you that they really like you.

He's probably doing that because he likes you. Are you kidding? He hates

I believe you.

But now you're going to have all girls. Yes.

And what are you going to name them?

One Olivia, two Olivia, three Olivia, four Olivia, five Olivia, six Olivia,

seven Olivia, eight Olivia, nine Olivia.

Nine Olivias.

Okay. Now suppose you want a certain Olivia.

How would you call that Olivia?

Olivia.

and five Olivia will come. Yeah.

And there's no confusions.

Yeah.

What were you doing when I came in?

I see.

Well, I want to call her, too.

And then he returned here after the

Civil War.

People say... you can still hear his spirit playing the bugle.

I never knew this neighborhood was so historical.

Me either.

I like walks like this. It's entertaining and educational.

And very economical.

Speak for yourself, boy. When it comes to my lady, money is no object.

It's no subject either.

Isn't it a beautiful night?

That's the Big Dipper up there, which is part of the Ursa Major.

That's Latin for Big Bear.

Ursa Major.

What a pretty name.

Oh, see that star right there, baby?

Which one?

The cute one. See, I'm going to name that one after you.

Oh, Lance.

To the man that was in the evening maid, stars gave their first delight,

admiring in the gloomy shade those little drops of light.

Oh, Aaron, that was beautiful.

So appropriate.

The stars at night are big

and bright deep in the heart of Texas.

Nice try, baby.

Nights like this, you don't want to go inside.

Maybe we should finish our walking tour.

There's three more buildings. I want to show you that three more buildings. I

want Are you guys going ahead we'll catch up I got something I want to say

Charmaine What sit down, please

Hey,

I made it for you

for your keepsakes and your earrings and stuff. Go ahead, open it up.

What's this?

It's the key to my heart.

Now don't lose it because on Monday I'm going to need it. It's also the key to

my gym locker.

I went to the hospital gift shop and I saw these. I really didn't know which

to give you.

Happy graduation.

Congratulations on your promotion. Yes.

Thanks for the lovely time.

Well, that's for tomorrow morning.

Thank you, honey.

Feel all right?

I really do. I feel fine.

Well, look, you know, there are times in a person's life when,

well, it's just the end of something. And, you know,

when I was at Hillman, it was the last football

game.

I went in for the game to get dressed, and I knew it was the last game. I knew

would never play football again.

The feeling, the emotion would well up, and I would fight it back.

And I put on my shoulder pads, and it just started to get heavier and heavier.

I put my jersey on, and I sat down. I just couldn't hold it back anymore,

and I just started to cry.

tears just falling into my helmet.

Really?

You cried in your helmet?

Yes. And so now you know how I feel?

Well, yes.

I'm just saying that, you know, in everybody's life, you run out of

Oh, you run out of options?

Yeah. What I'm trying to say, dear, is that, For instance, I,

at my age, can no longer apply for a job as a fireman

or an astronaut. I mean, those applications say men age 35 need

not apply.

I mean, that's it for me. I mean, I am too old to be drafted or accepted

in the armed services. I can't go to war, Claire.

You want to go to war?

No, no, I don't want to go to war. What I'm saying, honey, is I don't have those

options anymore.

Are you comparing bringing life into this world to playing football,

to becoming a fireman or a pilot or going to war? Now, do you see anything

all strange with that comparison? See, I know that you're getting angry because

when you get angry, you say anything.

And I don't want you to anything right now. All I'm saying is that a woman can

have babies longer than a man can play football.

Go to sleep, Clem.

Because you're going to need a helmet if you poop this up.

Well, I know how you feel.

And I know exactly...

The fact that I have failed and trying to express my feelings.

But I'm sorry, my dear.

I do have another option.

And I'm going to exercise it right now.