Original subtitles

There she is.

I just want to say that I am privileged to be in the same kitchen with my

friend, Miss Brains of Brooklyn.

Charmaine, please. You were really sizzling in class today. I was about to

the fire department to put you out.

Charmaine.

When called on, my girlfriend sat up and in a clear, and I know what I'm talking

about, voice said...

that the first American in space was Mr.

Alan B. Shepard Jr.

on May 5th, 1961.

And the beauty of it was, this came right after poor, unprepared, but

attired Shanika Watkins, who said that the first American in space was Mr.

George Jackson.

Girl, the way you've been in school lately, your mama would be so proud of

Shoot, but it ain't doing much for my social life.

Are you talking about Sly?

Let me tell you, you picked up some good habits and you dropped a bad one.

That's right.

Shoot, him bringing me down the way he did, wanting me to cut class and asking

me to hang out after school instead of studying, and then having the nerve to

ask me to do his homework.

You did the right thing.

Lance tried that, too. And I told him, you better bring something to the table

besides your good looks, else you're going to have to find another table.

Was you right?

I know I'm right.

Because it's your table and it's time for you to tell somebody else to pull up

chair. You hear what I'm saying, girlfriend?

Circulate.

Go out and meet somebody.

Like who?

Well, isn't there anybody who makes your boat float? Somebody who makes your

liver quiver?

Well, I suppose I could be interested in that new boy in school, Aaron Dexter.

Now, girlfriend, don't let them two questions you answered today go to your

head. That boy is intellectual.

You can tell because he's got a lot of keys on his belt.

Keys?

Haven't you noticed smart boys always carry a lot of keys? I think you better

forget about this one. Why?

I thought I was the brains of Brooklyn.

Well, you are, but he has a mind that's global. Yours is just local.

All I said is I was interested. I didn't say I was ready to go start cheating

after him.

Well, why not?

I mean, if my girlfriend wants to aim at a high target, why shouldn't I help her

hit it? Come on, girl, let's go snag you a Smartie.

Now, Bernice, don't be nervous.

I'm not, Alfred.

Good.

Good. A 42 -year -old woman having a baby.

42.

Not so many years ago. That's how long a person lived.

Shut up, Alfred.

Sorry, Vera. Just a little on edge.

But relax, sweetheart.

I'm sure that the results from the amniocentesis are going to be just fine.

Honey,

aren't you curious about what we're going to have?

You know, it doesn't matter to me. I know, but we have a little girl.

Wouldn't it be nice if Laurie had a little brother?

Bernice, as long as the baby is healthy, I'm a happy daddy.

Bernice, how are you doing?

I guess we're a little nervous.

Listen, she's going to be fine.

The results of the amnio, the baby's just fine.

Oh.

Okay. Now, you want to know what you're having?

Yes.

No.

Fifth, whatever we have, we will love as much as we love Laurie, huh?

Well, I want to know.

All right, dear. If it's important to you, what are we having?

It's a boy.

A boy.

Yes!

I'm just going to wait till he sees me, and then that's when I make my move.

Well, he's reading. How is he going to see you?

Oh, he's looking at you.

Will you look at him?

Make eye contact.

Oh, now you waited too long, because now he's not looking at you. Slow your

blood.

I know what I'm doing.

You may know what you're doing, but you're taking all day. Excuse me.

Is this seat taken?

If you sit down.

Well, nice meeting you.

read it a long time ago.

Oh, well, I'm reading it now. What a coincidence.

How far are you?

Oh, I'm here.

Oh, I see. You've passed the Battle of Agincourt where Henry tries to woo

Catherine. Yes, yes, I passed that.

Isn't it funny? He doesn't speak French. She doesn't speak English.

Do you speak French?

I do a little, actually a lot. Not because I'm smart. I just studied it in

school. Anybody can do that. It's not like I'm the smartest guy in class.

You're not?

No, there are at least four other people smarter than me.

Well, maybe three.

Am I talking too much? Yeah, I better shut up. I'll firm la bouche.

I'll shut up in two languages.

No, no, no, that's all right. I like to hear you talk.

You do?

No, really?

I think I'll leave you to your Shakespeare.

You have to concentrate with Shakespeare. I'm a Shakespeare buff, but

irrelevant. I hope you're enjoying it.

Well, um, actually, it's kind of hard to understand.

You want me to help you with it? Would you?

Well, as long as I'm here.

Okay.

When I come to woo the ladies, I fright them.

But in fate, Kate, the elder I wax, the better I shall appear.

That means she's seeing him at his worst.

But the longer she knows him, the better he gets.

Yes? Alfred Phelps would like to see you, Dr. Huxtable.

Okay, send him in.

I can't do it, Cliff.

I can't have a son.

You don't have to. Your wife's going to do that.

No, no, no, no, no. What I mean is, yesterday, I was having a boy.

Today, I'm having a son.

I don't understand the difference.

A son is a son.

Right. Do you know what that means?

It means we have to do sports together.

Like baseball.

Have you ever seen me swing a baseball bat?

Cliff, in my entire Little League career, I got two hits.

One in the neck and one in the back.

Yeah, but Alfred, you have a great mind for sports.

Oh, sure, sure, sure.

I got a great mind for sports, but not the body.

How am I going to relate to my son?

Now, you're always talking about how you and Theo like to run and jump and play

together.

Go to any park in the country, what do you see?

Boys playing with their fathers.

Throwing the old ball around, shagging flies.

You don't see them reading the Financial Times to each other or doing the

multiplication tables together.

Cliff, I just have no coordination.

All right.

You got to do something.

Yeah.

Now you dribble.

I'm going to dribble. Just dribble.

Dribble.

That's fine.

That's fine. What are you talking about? Listen to me.

That's fine.

It's fantastic.

We're talking about you dribbled around me. Now you're going to work with your

son. Your son will be maybe three, four years old.

So what's the kid going to do? Not dribble. Sit down.

The two of you are going to be doing like this.

This is all you're going to do.

I can do this. This I can do.

kid's gonna think you're great he's gonna see

and then you're

gonna get up and you're gonna be a hero all right now the next thing is go ahead

take a shot take a shot all right take a shot go ahead

No, no, no, no, no. You hit the backboard.

Don't forget, the kid is here.

Now the kid goes like this.

He's going to think that you are the strongest person ever in the world. Show

again. Hit the backboard.

Well, I thought you wanted to be a doctor.

I do. I want to be a doctor and a football player.

Is there a problem?

Just that, I mean, when are you going to find time to see your patients?

During the week. They only play football on weekends.

I thought you knew football.

Yeah, well, I do. Okay, do it. And I'm going to have a nickname, too. Oh, yeah?

What is it?

Middle linebacker. Why middle linebacker?

But when I made the basketball team, I proved them wrong. And I'd still be on

the team, except I got a B in chemistry.

That's why my father made me quit. If I got a B in chemistry, I'd ask for a car.

Well, that's my dad.

He's proud of me.

But he's very tense about my future. He wants me to get into a good school.

More house.

Well,

I guess I better get going.

Mom, you have a lot of keys.

You know, my friend says... that boys who have a lot of keys are really smart.

Well, I'm not smart.

But I do have a lot of keys. But that's because I need these keys to organize my

life. See, this key is from my locker at school.

And these keys are from my grandmother's house. I check on her after school.

She's kind of old. Oh, that's sweet.

And this key is from my closet. I have a nosy little brother.

Are these keys?

I can't remember what these keys are for, but I'm afraid to get rid of them

case I do remember and I can't get in wherever it is.

And these are for my job.

You work, too?

Mm -hmm.

Where? The bike shop.

I fix bikes.

I ride them, too. Next month, I'm riding in the bike -a -thon.

You must be pretty good.

Yeah. They should see me on a bike.

I'm smooth. I'm sleek.

I'm a comet.

Would you like to go biking with me?

I'm not really good at this. I'll show you.

Next Sunday?

Yeah. Yeah, okay.

Great. Great.

Okay.

This is a date, right?

I mean, or... It could be a date. I mean, it's sort of like a date. It's

essence. Aaron, Aaron.

It's a date, okay?

Oops. Just my sympathetic nervous system again, which is stimulating my adrenal

gland.

Just happened to know that. Yeah, I know. You read it somewhere.

Yeah.

Well, good night, Pam.

Good night.

Lofting an egg up to somebody on a ladder.

Lofting an egg.

You're too far on the law.

What are you guys doing?

Trying to loft an egg up the... Yes!

All right!

All right, Bernice! Where did you learn that?

I was point guard for my high school team.

Well, you still have it. Thanks. All right.

What do you think you're doing?

I'm just playing a little basketball.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm the one playing basketball, not you. You're pregnant.

You should be resting somewhere with your feet up.

Besides, our son will expect me to teach him the rudiments of the game, not his

mother. Why?

My mother taught me.

You had a very unusual childhood, Bernice, I've always said.

I could teach you.

No offense, sweetheart, but I don't want to learn how to play basketball like a

girl. What are you saying?

That men play basketball better than women.

Bernie, I saw you with that ball. Hey, you're pretty slick.

Claire, did you hear my husband say that men play basketball better than women?

What did my husband say?

All I said was loft the egg up to somebody on the ladder.

That's all I said.

Come on, Claire, have a little two -on -two with me and my pal here.

Alfred, don't be ridiculous.

Your ball out.

Let's do it.

Now, don't worry, pal, I'm right behind you.

But you gotta guard Bernice.

No, no.

The husband will guard the wife.

Are you serious?

Come on, get out of here. Come on!

Wait a minute!

shots i made today i'm right now i'm approximately one for 30.

but hey let's just say the first 29 were warm -ups and this is the one that

really counts thanks theo well your father says if i improve someday i may

impress a five -year -old boy oh mr phelps your son's not gonna be impressed

with that when i was five i was more impressed my dad could drive a car theo

mean i shouldn't be doing this no that's that that's cool and everything But I

was never impressed with how good a ball player my dad was. You weren't?

No. What I do remember, the first time we played football, and I fell, and I

scraped my knee, and I started crying.

Dad picked me up, took me in the house. He cleaned up my knee, put a Band -Aid

on it.

He dried my tears and gave me a hug, and he said, hey, everything's going to be

okay. Now, those are the things that I remember.

Tell you one thing.

As I got older and realized I could beat him in certain sports, I started to let

him win.

You know, you're not possessed to bring in the groceries before the ice cream

melts. Okay, thanks.

See you later, Mr. Phil. Yeah, see you, Theo. Oh, and Theo.

Thanks. You got it.

Can I play with you?

Well, sure.

This really isn't my game. My game is football.

Would you like to shoot the ball?

No, you can go first.

Thanks.

That's right.

And someday you'll be good enough to hit the backboard too.

It's your turn.

Listen. Hey. Alfred went out here acting like he's so happy he's going to have a

son and he knows what to do.

I mean, what were you talking about out here?

Oh, you know, life, philosophy, and the psychology of parenting. Oh, really?

Mr. Psychologist? I mean, pardon me, Dr.

Psychologist? So, I mean, you set him straight, huh?

Well, he walked out of here happy, didn't he?

Yeah, yeah.

Hey, Dad, let me ask you a question.

When I was little, when we used to run track, you used to let me win all the

time, didn't you? Sure, sure.

Well, you built your confidence.

Well, I appreciate that.

Yeah. But you know, as I got older, I started doing the same thing for you.

You better go someplace and find the truth.

No, I'm serious.

I could beat you.

I could beat you long before I let you know I could. Really? But I didn't want

you to get too concerned about getting too old.

Getting too old.

We could go out on the track.

run a 400, and I guarantee you, you'll see my back, and

at the 300 mark, I'll be getting smaller and smaller.

All right. We can go now. You want to? Yeah. No, we can't because your mother's

got a cake, and we have to eat that.

That's even. So we can't go right now.

I'm sorry. You're saved by mom.

We can go after dinner. No, we can't go after dinner with a cake sitting up

here.

Well, how about if we go tomorrow?

Tomorrow, I can't. I can't. I've got patients tomorrow.

Patients.

What about Saturday?

No, I've got to go to the museum.

Oh, well, then you don't want to run.