Original subtitles

No. No. Don't tell me that you went out and bought another gadget that doesn't

work. You're dead wrong.

Come downstairs, wrong.

I did not buy another gadget for me. I bought something for the entire family.

You see these gloves?

These gloves, my dear, are battery -operated, state -of -the -art mittens.

You put your hand in there.

Art mittens. State of the art mittens. Put your hand.

Come on.

Put your hand in there.

And all I have to do is turn the battery on.

Turn it on. Now feel the heat. Feel it.

Come on.

You feel it? I feel nothing. You feel nothing because you don't want to feel

anything. You feel... Wait a minute.

Nothing is happening, Cliff. Maybe it's got a defective battery.

Maybe your brain is defective.

I'm going to the community center for a little while. I'll be back in time for

dinner. Yes, sir. I finished my homework. All right. But wait, wait,

I got a pair in here for you because you are now family. You see this?

Here they go. State of the art, battery operated mittens, day glow.

No, thank you.

I'm not putting those silly -looking things on either.

That's okay. But I know when it gets cold outside, little children be begging

me, can I have something? No.

Get out of here.

Go ahead. Come on. That's me hitting the ball.

That's me.

That's me. That's me.

Oh, you in there.

Look, you got it, Sly.

man, not your woman. Oh, you don't want me to watch the ball. You keep missing

it. All right, we got him fighting now. That's a good sign, right? Yo, hold up,

Sam. I'll be right back. Yeah, bring your game back with you.

Yeah, she listen.

What? She got my man there on a short leash.

Oh, Lance.

Oh, I'll be right back. On my way, gentlemen.

Don't come too close, Lance. I don't want you dripping perspiration on my new

sweatsuit.

Oh, well, this is new sweat, so you'll have an ensemble.

Yeah, but I gotta be back by 10.

Man, them Huxley rules are seriously ruining our relationship.

Rules is for fools. Laws is for flaws.

Sideline by the guideline.

What are you talking about?

I'm just quoting somebody great. Who?

Winston Churchill.

Winston Churchill said laws is...

Oh, come on, Smoots. Stay a while. Watch me play. No, I can't. I gotta help out.

It's my turn to set the table. Set the table? For what?

So they can eat like cultured people. Don't you know anything?

I know you can eat without setting the table.

Hey, Slide, you gonna hang with the women or play with the men?

Can't you see? He hasn't been dismissed yet.

I'll catch up with you later, Smoots.

I got something for you too, baby.

Oh, Lance, that would not be...

All right, try to grab this one. All right, I won't come in there. You don't

take it easy, man. Yo, Sly, pay attention, man. Let's finish the game,

right? My man's got a lot on his mind, homie. Hey, just because his

living with them rich people don't mean he can mess up my game.

Yeah, it's no good losing your woman to the rich, man.

She's not like that, man.

Well, don't them Huxles have a son at NYU?

Yeah, maybe that's why she's always rushing off.

No, she had to go home to set the table.

Look,

man, she's living in your house. She has to go by the rules.

Well, I say you ain't a man if you can't handle your woman. And I'm talking

about it in every way. You want to be specific?

Yeah, Pam's a fine woman. And if she were mine, I know what I'd be doing.

And I know what she'd be doing.

Too bad y 'all wouldn't be doing it together, you know?

I don't let nobody talk about my woman that way. Yeah, well, I'm doing it. Hey,

listen, big fella. I'm going to hold my man back because he'll beat you down to

your shorts, boy. I'm awake, man.

And you tell your man if he hit me and I...

about it he's gonna be in the world of hurt excuse me we got a lot of business

to take care of peace yeah go find your briefcase hey look next time don't hold

me back

So you bought her an imaginary one?

To compensate for not being able to have one, she's created an invisible one.

It's a perfectly normal step in a child's development.

Hey,

what a nice little doggy there.

He's over there.

Okay,

I was going over there. Hey,

what do you say that...

What's the dog's name?

Dwayne, it's St.

Bernard. Oh, St. Bernard.

That's not his head.

All right, well, Dwayne, here. Oh, you like that, huh? All right, get down, get

down, get down, get down. All right, now, I want you to get the stick. All

right, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. All right, come on, come

See you, see you, see you, see you. Hey!

in the kitchen.

Yes, indeed.

Roasting chickens, baking bread, tending the hearth. All right, women.

And this is what we like to see. A man coming home from the field, smelling

his mule.

Hey, what's for dinner?

He's back.

Now, get away from that chicken, queen.

Thank you. How come you're always eating our food?

Because I'm the only one here who really appreciates Mom's cooking.

He appreciates it because it's free.

That is water for the mashed potatoes. Everybody clear out. You, get over here.

And you, mule man, wash your hands.

Theo, you're going to ruin your dinner.

It's just to tide me over.

You guys are a trip.

That table looks very good, Pam.

Oh, thank you. I like this at the table. I think it's cool when everybody eats

together. Whoa, is that pecan pie?

All right. Yes, it is. Stay away. And you, too.

That's what you do every night. You have to have a knife.

This is not for you.

Pam made it for the rest of us. In my house, we didn't always get to eat at

same time, because I'd be going to school and my mom would be coming home

work. But on special occasions, we would have candlelight breakfast on Wedgwood

China.

Wedgwood China?

Yes. Isn't that important?

Yes, from the flea market in Brooklyn.

We got two of them and didn't match, but who cares?

Susan always had a lot of style.

Have you talked to your mother lately?

Yeah, I called.

She sends her love.

You miss her?

Yeah, but I like it here, too.

Except for all those rules, right?

No, rules don't bother me.

Pinocchio.

No, I like the rules.

Because, see, rules.

give you structure. Bam.

See?

That's what teenagers today need, is structure.

Structure and goals. That's what we need, goals.

Structure and goals, yeah.

And priorities.

Don't forget your priorities. You've got to have your priorities.

Of which the three of you have none.

And that's why us old people can have pecan pie.

Excuse me, you bring that pie back here.

Thanks. Oh, you, you.

I said, come on in. Will you go get Pam, please?

Okay. Hey, hey, hey.

See you later.

It's okay, Dwayne. It's just a rerun. Come on, fella.

Who's she talking to?

Dwayne. Who?

That's her dog. It's invisible.

Oh. It's all right, though.

They're cheaper and cleaner.

So, how you been?

Fine, sir. I just came to take Pam for a walk.

Hey, I'm out of here, Dad.

Hey, Slide, what's up, man? Hey, kid.

What you got in the bag?

Oh, this? The rest of Pam's pecan pie.

Yeah? Well, Mom forced me to.

Uh -huh.

Hey, I'll tell you what.

I'll leave a slice for you in the mailbox.

My brother.

Hey, Slice. You leaving, Theo?

Yeah, I gotta go.

I left a collection of short stories for you. Read the one I told you about by

Tony Morrison. Okay, you know, I really like the one you gave me last week by

Jamaica Kincaid, but I didn't understand all of it. Well, don't worry about it.

I'll break it down for you when I come back. Okay, cool. See you guys later.

Mailbox. Special delivery.

My brother.

Hey, Pam, you want to go outside and talk a little?

Yeah, yeah, that's a good idea.

Excuse me, Pam.

Could you take Dwayne for a minute?

Sure. And don't go chasing any cats.

Ma 'am, this is St. Bernard.

Oh.

You got some sugar for me?

Yeah.

Whoa, Slide.

What whoa?

You know a horse is around here.

It looks like you want a little bit more than sugar.

What do you think?

We're coming up on our three -month anniversary.

Three months?

Counting the five times we broke up, plus the times I was grounded, and the

times I didn't want to see you because you got on my nerves.

We lucky we've been together two weeks.

Well, see, that means our relationship has weathered the hard times.

Now it's time we took it to another level.

What do you think?

About what?

You know what.

We're the only ones that aren't.

Skeeter and Ramona, Julio and Anita, Lance and Charmaine.

Lance and Charmaine?

Oh, no, uh -uh. I don't believe that.

Charmaine? You see how happy she is.

No, no, it can't be Charmaine because she would have told me about it. What,

think she's going to tell you about every detail in her life? But Lance

tell you, right?

Let's just put it this way. I know.

Time, smooch.

That's a big step slide.

Hey, I'll be taking it with you.

Yeah, I know you will.

Look, we both know how we feel about each other.

Now it's time we did something about it.

What's that doing? You want to go back inside?

Come on, I'm serious.

I don't know. This is moving too fast, Clyde.

Just think about it.

That's all I'm asking.

Girlfriend, we need to talk.

I can see that from your friend line.

I thought we were best friends.

What? Since when don't we work?

Then why didn't you tell me? Tell you what?

About you and Lance.

What about me and Lance?

You know.

I know I do not know what you are talking about.

I'm talking about you and Lance being intimate.

Intimate?

Did Lance tell you we were intimate?

No, Sly did.

Well, let me tell you something, girl.

Lance and I are close, but we are not that close.

And if he told you that, we're going to be getting unclothed.

Now, since we're on this particular subject, let me just say, what I have

not be precious to the world, but it is precious to me. You understand what I'm

saying? No. Hey, because what I got ain't no knick -knack.

There's somebody speaking out of turn.

No, somebody's lying, and I'm the lie detector.

Come on.

All right, this is it. Time to send these chumps back to tough towers.

Lance,

I want to talk to you. Oh, we're playing a game here, sir. I mean, get off the

court. No,

you want to hear what I have to say. Sir, man, you are ruining my game. And

are ruining my reputation. Hey, hey, did you mind if we finish the game? Yeah, I

mind. Now, you guys better step off. I'm going to clock somebody now. Come on.

Now,

I believe that you have been spreading false.

information about the nature of our relationship.

What are you talking about?

Clyde told me you two were intimate.

Yeah.

Well,

what I said, baby, was that we are intimate mentally

and psychologically.

I didn't say physically. Did you hear me say physically?

Well, that's what you told me Charmaine gave you for your birthday.

All I gave this man for his birthday was a gift certificate to the fizzler.

What I said was that we had a very special night.

You got to get your mind on the higher plane, homie.

See, intimate means that our minds have met, our

souls have touched, and our spirits have sat together.

Oh, Lance, that was deep.

You the one swimming in it. What do you think?

Come on, baby. Let's get intimate.

Buy you a jelly donut.

You see him squirm out of that?

Yes.

But that don't change the way I feel.

Oh, slide. It's the middle of the day. Can't we talk about something else?

About what? Them books you been getting from Mr. College Man, Theo?

He's just trying to get me to read more. You know you should read more, too.

I read plenty.

How you think I picked the right bus to get here?

I am.

Hello, Sly.

Hello, Shaniqua. How you doing?

Fine.

Bye, Sly.

Goodbye, Shaniqua.

Bye, Sly.

Looking at you like she wants you on her plate, and you standing there looking

like a happy meal.

All I said was hello.

Your mouth said hello, but your eyes said hello.

I gotta look at people I'm talking to.

No, I know what's in your mind. You know, you guys are all alike.

You just don't care.

Just running around with your hormones on the loose.

Well, what are we supposed to do?

I'm in the prime of my life. And I don't know about you, but I'm peaking.

So let's get busy.

Are you ready to load, Peapod?

Yeah. Okay. You ready to pour? Okay, Paul.

Thank you very much. All right.

Have you seen Dwayne?

Not if you haven't.

I've been looking for him everywhere.

He's gone.

Well, maybe he went for a walk.

No, maybe he's hiding.

Well, what do you think will make him come back?

A bowl of ice cream.

For him?

No, for me. He likes to watch me eat ice cream.

I see. So what you're saying is, if I get you some ice cream...

Then Dwayne will come out to watch you eat it. Make sure it's vanilla.

All right. Do you mind if I have a little also?

Not too much.

Wait. I think you heard Dwayne. I'll go get him. Okay.

I'll dish it out. You bring Dwayne back.

Little ice cream.

Little ice cream.

For today.

This is not what you think it is, so don't even start with it. This ice cream

for Duane.

For Duane? Yes. Well, not really for Duane. It's Duane.

See, Olivia asked for this ice cream because that's the only way that Duane

come back in the house because he loves to watch her eat ice cream. Oh, Cliff,

that is pathetic.

Well, be as pathetic as you think.

Right.

Now, you're going to have to apologize. So, there. How much did you want, Dr.

Huxtable? The girl, you know, she sees him.

Look, you're going to believe me or somebody that sees invisible dolls.

Well, see, the ice cream is not for me. The ice cream is for my parrot, Howard.

See him?

No, dear, I don't see your parrot, Howard, but I would like to see you in

living room, please.

Oh, I'll be there.

You don't frighten me. I'll meet you in a minute.

Why not the basement? It don't make no difference to me.

Howard and I, now you sit down here. What are you going to be so rough about?

And meanwhile, give Howard a little kiss there. Go ahead, give him a kiss.

Go ahead, give him a kiss. Oh, hey, what are you doing on these droppings?

Can I ask you two a question? Sure.

How did you first know you were in love?

Well, first of all, Cousin Claire told me I was in love with her.

No, no, I'm serious.

I'm serious. Because I think that I might be in love.

Oh, I take it with a slide.

You take it right.

And what makes you think that you might be in love with Clyde?

Well, you know, I get excited when I know I'm going to see him.

And sometimes he'll say something, and we'll both laugh.

It's not funny, but we'll laugh.

And even when he gets on my nerves, I still miss him.

And we can talk on the phone forever about nothing, you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, we have children that do that.

It has nothing to do with love.

No, I know what she means, because that is how love starts.

Yeah, but, you know, it's more than that.

It's loving somebody's weaknesses as well as their strengths.

Oh, you mean like those big yellow mittens.

Yes, like the mittens.

When infatuation wears off, that's when real love begins.

And that takes time to develop.

Well, me and Sly have been going together on and off for three months.

Yeah, well, I know that seems like a long time to you right now, but believe

it's not.

Cliff, is there anything of substance that you would add?

Well, yes, I think that love takes time to develop.

I just said that.

What I'm saying, what I...

Thank you, sir, for your situation.

I mean, you are just learning about this, and it's sort of like a video

See, you start out the video game, and you don't know how to play it, so you

come out, wagga, wagga, wagga, wagga, wagga, wagga, wagga, wagga, and then the

thing eats you up. Boo!

And then you have to start over. And then the more you get involved, the more

you know what you shouldn't do, what you should do. And then after a while, you

can go, whack, whack, whack, whack, whack, whack, whack, whack, whack,

whack, whack, whack, whack, whack. And that's what we do now. We go, whack,

whack, whack, whack, whack, whack, whack, whack, whack, whack, whack,

it never goes, boo!

See? Because we, you know. Well, let's see it work with Theo.

It works.

That's okay. I think I get the idea.

Dwayne did it!

Yeah, right.

Dwayne did it.

Dwayne did it.

Well, is that all you want to talk about?

Look, look, look, look, look, look. Come here. Come here. We're going back here.

Do you see your chair back here? Your chair. This is your own special chair. I

saw you sitting in it, and this is a special place.

Now, you just sit down and you tell me. Is there something you want to talk

about? Say it. Come on.

All right. Yes?

Well, if you had a patient, can that patient be your cousin?

Of course.

Would you treat that patient like a cousin or that patient like a patient?

I would treat the cousin like a patient.

Good. I was hoping you'd say that. Okay.

Is anything wrong?

No, no.

Ah. I was just wondering if you would consider taking me on as a patient.

Absolutely. Now, there you go. You got it. My patient.

Could you give me a prescription for birth control pills?

Just forget I mentioned any birth control pills. I don't know what got

coming in.

Forget I was even here.

Pam? Yes, sir?

You know, when we talked, I told you, I said you could come to me for anything.

And you did exactly that. And one of these days, I'll forgive you for that.

But what I want you to know is it's best that you call your mother.

My mother?

Uh -huh. In California?

Well, you have a mother someplace else?

No, that's the one.

Now, look, you call her, get permission from her, and you come back and tell me,

and I will give you the name of the most wonderful gynecologist in the world,

Dr. Rochelle Hawkins, and she counsels young women.

Okay. All right? All right, Cousin Pam.

Go ahead.

And, Cousin Pam? Yes, sir? You just call me any time. Okay.

Anything.

Hey. Did you talk to your mother yet?

No, no. I'm not sure what to say.

Pam, whatever happened to that pact we made? I mean, we were going to wait

we fell in love.

I think I am in love.

Don't you think you're in love with Lance?

In love?

Honey, right now, we're kind of on the borderline between intense affection and

get out of my life.

Sly gets on my nerves, too, sometimes.

Look at him.

He knows I'm here because he begged me to come, but now he's with his homies,

and he wants to show them I have to come to him.

They always trying to prove something.

It starts when they're little, challenging each other to eat things

and bugs, holding their breath to see who can pass out first.

They're so unnatural.

Mmm, mustard.

Now look at him, profiling, showing off for me.

Nice going, baby cake.

And we just feed into it. They got us coming and going. I mean, why do we stay

here and put up with it?

Because they look good and talk sweet?

Please, let's just stop talking about boys. It always gets me so educated.

Okay, you're right, but stop.

Oh, look at Lance. That boy is just too cute.

Lance!

Olivia, guess what?

I just found my new leg warmers all balled up under your bed.

Then who did?

Dwayne.

Olivia, there is no Dwayne. Yes, there is, and he's very sorry.

Olivia, Dwayne can't be sorry.

Because invisible dogs aren't sorry. Because there is no such thing as

dogs. I know that. I'm no dummy.

Then why do you pretend he's there?

He gives me stuff. I say he likes to watch me ice.

work for me, too?

Sorry, Rudy. He's a one -kid dog.

Hello,

Cousin Claire.

Hi, Pam.

How was your appointment with Dr. Hawkins?

Fine. She gave me some counseling and some protection.

Pam, have a seat.

Now, I know that you've given this a lot of thought, but there is something I

need to tell you. to share with you. It's a love story.

Happened between a boy and a girl some years ago.

They really believed they were in love, you know. And everything was going just

rosy until this boy began to ever so sweetly turn on the heat.

Of course, he disguised this with things like love poems, carving of initials on

trees, that sort of thing. And the girl loved the attention.

But she told him, look, this is as far as it goes.

And then he came up with the...

Timeless speech.

Well, everybody else is doing it.

Who wrote that speech?

Moses.

Bobby Adams.

Well, anyway, all of this was to no avail.

And then in a last act of desperation, he comes to the girl and says, Now,

if you loved me, you would help me get rid of these bumps on my face.

But when that didn't work, one evening they went to the movies, the boy turned

into an octopus, dear.

Eight arms and legs flailing in every conceivable direction, all under one big

empty head.

The girl started doing hand exercises just so she would have the strength to

keep his hands on her shoulders.

Her hands got so strong that to this day, there's no telling what she could

So what happened to them?

They got married.

If the man is good, he will understand. It is your decision.

Cousin Cliff.

What's that all about?

Have some orange juice. It's so good for your complexion.

Lie. Hey, Pam.

Where have you been hiding yourself these last couple of days?

Well, I've been thinking about us, and I don't see what the harm is if we

wait a little while.

Why do we have to wait?

Well, what's the rush?

I mean, I'm not saying until we get married, just until I'm ready. Hey, hey,

look. If you're not sure about this, then you're not sure about me.

Oh, come on, Sly. Why do you say that?

All I know is I love you, and it hurts to know that you don't feel the same

You know I love you.

Hey, I hear the words, but that's about it.

You don't think I mean it?

Okay, if I didn't mean it, why would I go to the doctors and get these?

Oh. Happiness?

Yeah, well, it's just that I thought that you'd, um, take care of this kind

stuff.

I am taking care of it.

No, no, I mean, I thought you'd get some of those pills.

Oh, well, my doctor said that these are better for all around, you know what I

mean? What doctor?

The gynecologist that Dr. Huxtable recommended.

You told Dr. Huxtable about it? Are you crazy?

He's my guardian.

Yeah, well, he doesn't have to guard everything.

Forget about it. I don't want to use these things anyway.

And I don't want to have a baby.

What's the matter? Don't you trust me?

It's got nothing to do with trust. It's got to do with my body.

Well, what if we did have a baby?

We're planning on staying together, right?

Would that be so bad?

We can't afford a baby.

Hey, I've worked before. I'll get another job.

Clyde, that was part -time. There is no such thing as a part -time baby.

Besides... I mean, we're only in high school. We don't even know how we're

feel about each other in a year or so.

At least now I know where I stand.

Nothing's changed.

Except you.

See, Pam, that's how men are.

They wreck your life.

step over you, and then go looking for somebody else to crash into.

You should have seen him getting all mad when I gave him those things. Here I go

and embarrass myself, and he says, don't you trust me.

Trust him? Like Anita trusted Julio?

Now she's having this baby.

And she wanted to study nursing.

Thanks to him, she'll be nursing.

That's right.

And there's nothing she can do. It's done.

It may be done, but it ain't over. What if Julio leaves her?

You know, men are prone to do things like that from time to time.

Well, that would never happen with me and Sly.

Please, switch you and Sly do best. Break up.

Well, did Lance ever try to put that kind of pressure on you?

He tried that higher plane stuff on me once, but girlfriend, I let him know

where it was and that he was in no position to go get it. And if he kept

to get it, it would move and I would move with it.

Aren't you afraid of losing him? Losing him? Him? I can get back. If I lose me,

I'm gone for good.

But what if Sly doesn't come back?

Then later, Potato.

I'm gonna walk.

If he ain't got no time for you, you ain't got no time for him.

That's right.

They gotta listen to us and forget what their homies and their hormones are

telling them.

Men. Yeah, men.

Listen to this, right? It says here that women want men as much as men want

women. Not in this neighborhood.

That's right. We're wasting our time with these women. See, I got a cousin,

where he lives, the women are fine, plentiful, and ready.

And where is that?

In New Jersey.

What you worried about? She already spoken for.

Can't a man ask about a location?

Exactly where in New Jersey?

You telling me that the women in Jersey are more accessible than the women right

here? I'm telling you the women over there are primed. I think it's got

something to do with the water.

Guys, I've heard what you've been saying about women in Jersey.

That's a lot of bunk.

How you know?

Cause I'm from Jersey and that's the same thing we say about women in

There's nothing happening there and there's nothing happening here. Well,

you from the wrong part of New Jersey, man. What part are you from?

Yeah, women.

Where they at?

Hey, Connor.

Hey, how you feeling?

What are you reading? That book you gave me by Toni Morrison.

Ah, all right.

Can I ask you something?

Sure.

Why are men such worms?

marries Nell, but has a thing with Tula. Why do you men do that?

That's a book. That's fiction.

Well, didn't you tell me that good fiction is based on the truth?

I did, didn't I?

The truth is, men are worms.

That's true, but only to a degree.

That's because men are always evolving.

When I was Sly's age, I used to be a worm.

But now, I'm only part worm.

are supposed to be better than that. People are supposed to be human and

their instincts, not like a rabbit or a bull moose.

Yeah, well, I went to school with a lot of bull moose, but they didn't stay that

way. See, as we get older, the herd thins, we get more sophisticated.

Then, when a woman says no, we know how to accept it.

We may not like it.

Okay, we may cry a little bit.

But we accept it.

Well, Clyde's a bull moose.

And I'm just wondering what he'll think of me if I give in to him.

Well, if he is a bull moose, I gotta tell you, they're migrating animals.

They just graze and move on.

Well, I'm probably better off without him.

But I sure do miss him.

Hi, Pam.

Hi.

Did you hear that?

Yes, I did. Poor thing.

Losing her boyfriend.

What makes you think that she lost her boyfriend?

Oh, men are so blind. Trust me, love.

Slide has slid away.

I'm afraid Slide has slid down here.

Well, how you doing, Slib?

Awesome. Awesome.

All right.

Mrs. Huxtable?

How you doing, Mrs. Huxtable?

Oh, I'm fine, Slide. How are you?

Fine.

Hey, Slide.

Hi, Pam.

Is it all right if we go outside and talk a little?

Ask Mrs. Huxtable.

Is it okay, Mrs. Huxtable?

If that's what Pam wants.

What are you doing, Cliff? Get back over there by that door.

Get back over there by that door. I want to know everything that's going on out

there. Oh, dear, that would be spying.

Do it.

Now, what are they doing?

Why are they out there?

They're just talking.

Does it look like they're arguing?

No, they're just talking.

And, uh... Uh -oh.

She pushed him away.

Well, he's... He's... He's walking away.

Good.

Oh, wait a minute. He's coming back.

Fucking fool.

him. Oh, he's putting his arms around and he's pulling up close.

Oh, Claire, it looks like you're going to lose.

Yeah, they're kissing now.

Don't just stand there. Do something.

What do you want me to do?

Well, turn on the sprinklers. We don't have sprinklers.

Why don't we go back to my place? My folks aren't home.

There you go again.

The minute things are nice between us, you go bring that up.

Okay, I'll let you know when I'm ready.

So stop sweating me.

Well, that's like you doing me some big favor now.

A lot of women out there interested in the kid.

You mean like Shaniqua Watkins?

What? You trying to tell me that if I don't give in to you that you'll start

seeing Shaniqua?

That's an option.

Fine. Don't let me stop you.

I'm my own woman, I got my own mind, and I intend to use it. Good night.

And give my best to Shaniqua.

Oh, it's a good thing I had four other daughters, man. I wouldn't have known to

hold her onto my paper.

Don't just lie this little way.

Now, why don't you go and head to the hospital?

Can your parents take you?

No?

Okay, well, take a cab.

Right. Get right over.

There you go.

Good example.

Got a 16 -year -old girl ready to deliver sometime tonight.

Parents say, we want to have nothing to do with you. The boy that did it says,

it's not mine. I told you to protect yourself.

All she's going to do is have a baby.

How you doing, man? All right.

Hey, if you're down, you can get up.

Ain't that easy, man.

Hey, Pam.

Hello, Lance.

Yo, there she is, man. Go over and talk to her. She won't even look at me, man.

Yeah, I ain't never seen nobody get ignored so good.

I played the wrong card, Lance.

Yep, played that's your nipple card.

I wasn't even serious, man. I just got mad.

Clint, you got to go over there and tell her that.

I would, but she won't listen.

Come on, man, I'll back you up.

Hey, yo, the way she looks, you better get in the front.

Hey, Pam, how you feeling today?

Fine, Lance.

Hi, Pam.

She ain't talking to me, man. I can see that.

Go try it again, man.

How was school today?

Oh, Lance.

Would you please tell that man that I'm not interested in anything he has to

say, and I'm very busy, so please get out of my face.

At the current time, her attention is directed elsewhere.

However, by the inflection in her voice, she might be interested in an apology.

Tell her I've been thinking about it.

My man says that he has devoted his entire...

brain power to your image you may tell mr bartell that i have not

been thinking about him and he's a pain in the you know what

she says

while you are not in her uppermost thoughts you are not very

far from her heart all right well tell her i'm sorry that she's depressed and

And that if my mentioning Shaniqua Watkins has anything to do with me being

from her heart, then I'm very sorry.

Although my man is quite learned, Shaniqua is no longer a part of his

vocabulary. Then ask him why he threw her in my face like that. Yeah, you

her, homie. Why'd you do that?

That was stupid, and I admit it, and I'm sorry.

The only woman I think of is you.

What he meant was... Lance, I know what he meant.

Look, I've been doing some thinking, and you shouldn't have to do anything you

don't want to.

And neither should I.

Not that I don't want to.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, I know what you mean, and I appreciate it.

I sure have missed you, Smooch.

I've missed you too, Smooch.

I can see my work is done here.

Lance knows romance.

Rudy said you wanted to see me, Dr. Huxtable. That is correct. Would you

seat, please?

Come on, Dwayne.

Look, people have been talking about Dwayne lately, and they're not very

with his behavior.

What?

It seems that Dwayne has gotten into and has been using Denise's makeup.

I really don't know how Dwayne did it, but he went into the kitchen

and got a knife and cut a big piece of chocolate cake.

He also is doing some terrible things and blaming you

for these things.

Yes. Your shoe prints were on our sheets, looking like

somebody was jumping up and down on the bed.

And I know it had to be Dwayne putting on your shoes and doing that.

So my point is, is that just outside the door there, there's an

invisible family.

And they told me that they were missing their invisible dog.

The dog fits Dwayne's description.

And I think it's time for you to give Dwayne back to those invisible people.

Okay. Thank you.

Come on, Dwayne.

Hi.

Nice to meet you. Go on, Dwayne.

What?

What are you doing?

That one howled your parrot, too.