Original subtitles

Denise,

is Mom home yet? No.

Well, the minute she gets in, let me know, because I have something really

important to ask her. Well, Vanessa, I don't think you should bother her when

she gets home. She's had hardly any sleep the last few nights getting ready

that trial.

I know, Denise, but it's really important that I talk to her.

Well, it's more important that I talk to her. I need her to read this essay that

I've written for my application to the University of Rhode Island.

This affects my life very deeply, Vanessa.

Well, what I have to ask Mom affects my life just as deeply.

What do you have to ask Mom?

I want to know if I can borrow $10 so I can buy some new earrings.

That affects your life very deeply?

Yes. I want to wear them to a party tomorrow night, and Donnie Pearson is

to be there.

Come on, Denise. He notices me. He could fall in love with me. We could get

married and live together for the next 50 years.

You're only going to be in college for the next three years, and you're

going to drop out anyway.

This affects my whole family's life.

All right.

You can talk to Mom first, but I'm asking her about the $10 as soon as

finished. Fine. Go ahead.

Mom!

Hi.

Hi. Can you please read my essay I wrote for the University of Rhode Island?

Honey, I have been on my feet in the courtroom for the past 10 hours. I have

slept in days. I'm really not in any condition to read a thing right now.

Oh, um, well, how about if I read it to you?

How about if you read it to your dad?

Oh, Mom, I can't on this one. This is about how women's roles have changed in

the past 20 years. I don't know. I just feel I haven't captured what it is I

want to say.

Can you read it, please? It's really important.

Okay. Thank you. Thank you.

The other way, Mom.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Words are swimming all over the page. Why don't you bring it to me tomorrow?

All right, first thing in the morning?

First thing.

Right now, I just need some peace and quiet, okay?

No, I didn't ask her. She wants to be left alone.

I know, but I need to talk to her. Well, you're not going to do it now, Vanessa.

You can't tell me what to do. What are you, Mom's guardian? Wait, Vanessa,

Look at her.

She is a wreck. She needs to be left alone.

You can't tell me to leave Mom alone. Only Mom can tell me to leave Mom alone.

Mom, leave me alone.

Child, I'm working on the hardest case of my career now. I just asked for 30

minutes of peace and quiet.

I'll accept 20.

If you've understood, please nod.

Thank you.

Now you can leave.

Silently. I told you, you're silent.

Mom?

I'm so glad you're home. Check it out. I found this great apartment in the city.

cheap it's in a great location and guess what it's already furnished now all you

have to do is sign the lease here you go does it ever occur to anyone

around here that i might have needs of my own all i get is a barrage of demands

from some useless children who couldn't care less about what's happening to me i

can't even get a hello mom how are you today How did your day go? No, no. All I

get is, Mom, I won.

Mom, I found. Mom, all you have to do is.

And there are days like today when the selfishness is just too much.

Do you understand?

Yes, Mom.

But they want you to sign right down here.

Sign it tomorrow.

No, you don't understand, Mom. I've got to give this to the landlord by 10 o

'clock in the morning.

Now, that means I'd have to get up at 8, come all the way over here on the

subway, get you to sign it, and take it back to school.

Come on, that's two hours. That's wasted out of my day. But you can sign it here

in four seconds.

Theo, you're not supposed to sign a lease without reading it. Mom, I read

It's okay. It's cool.

Give me this thing to get you away and leave me be.

Oh, thanks.

I'm going to get something to eat, but don't get up. You need your rest.

I'm just grateful you signed this.

Theo?

Theo?

What did I sign? Theo?

Theo, what did I sign? The lease to my apartment.

Thanks. Theo, I'm not just your mother, honey. I'm an attorney. I signed a

lease. I didn't even read it. Mom, don't worry about it. I read it. It's cool.

She look awful. Are you sure you can do this?

Boy, I read these things in my sleep.

But you don't have to. The landlord said it's almost like a standard agreement.

Almost like a standard agreement? Yeah. Did you see clause number 13 printed

here on the back?

They print on the back, too?

Yes, they do.

It says here that if tenant does not maintain furniture in an acceptable

condition, he will forfeit the $2 ,000 security deposit and pay a penalty

equal to the security deposit.

No problem. I'll take care of the furniture.

That brings me to clause six on the front, which you obviously missed too,

says, on election day, the landlord may remove all furniture from the tenant's

apartment and place it in the lobby, which will be turned into a polling

People who are voting are going to be using my furniture?

Hundreds of them. And if they get one little scratch on it, you are going to

forfeit a $2 ,000 security deposit.

Excuse me. You are going to forfeit.

My $2 ,000 security deposit, and you're not giving the landlord this until I

talk to him. But, Mom, you're going to get the landlord angry by grilling him

with questions.

I could lose this apartment.

This is a nice apartment.

It's the only apartment I found with an automatic dishwasher.

Use paper plates.

Mom.

Hi, Ruth.

You look awful.

Yeah, I know.

You know that field trip I'm supposed to... go on in three weeks? Yes.

I need you to fill this out. Here.

Sweetheart, let's deal with that tomorrow, okay?

But I need you to fill it out right away.

The field trip is three weeks away, Rudy. Why do we have to deal with this

today? Because if I hand it in early, I can pick who I want to sit next to on

the bus.

Well, I am certainly not going to inconvenience myself just so you can sit

to one of your little raggedy friends.

Are you in a bad mood?

Yes, I'm in a bad mood.

What of it? Am I not supposed to be in a bad mood sometimes? Just because I'm a

parent? You children have a bad mood? Anytime you think about it. I have a bad

mood one day.

Everybody's going to throw that in my face.

I'll come back later. You most certainly will not come back later being selfish

all over again. Take that thing to your father and have him fill it out for you.

I did. He told me to come to you.

Oh, he did, did he?

Well, he sure did steer you wrong. I'm not filling that thing out till I get

good and ready. Cliff, can you come in here, please?

Okay. I wish someone would tell me the right person to go to.

I don't know if I'm coming or going.

My wife is here.

I am a happy man.

There you go.

Well, you don't look so good.

Why did you send Rudy to me with that form to fill out?

You could have done that. Why didn't you take care of that yourself?

I think when I...

Third child was going to school. I was told by you not to sign any form that a

child brings into this house. Now, that is a low trick.

Take something I said and use it against me.

Did you lose the case, dear?

Oh, I wish I had lost it. At least the thing could be over with. At the end of

the day, the judge decides he needs to hear more testimony and see more

evidence. That means more work for me.

Will you get to rest this weekend?

Not in this house.

Ask people for some peace and quiet, or you get his aggravation and noise.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Sandra.

Yeah, she's here. What do you want?

No, I don't think so, honey. I think this is bad.

Just remember what I said.

Hi, Sandra.

Oh, honey, thank you for asking me how I am.

You are?

You and Elvin are going to go see that play?

Oh, yeah, that's a good one. I read about it.

Yeah, but what?

Now, look, I've been in the courtroom all day, and I've not slept for nights,

and the last thing I need is to babysit two little yelling twins.

No, I will not.

Babysit those twins.

And when they ask you how you're doing, they don't mean it. See, I told you it

was not a good time.

Even if they ask you how you're doing, they got something up their sleeve.

Jesus.

They're not sincere people.

Yes, I'm going to have a bad day all week.

That's just me. I'm going to have a bad day all year. And you fools up there

better get out of my way.

It's been like this. I just came in and she jumped at me. I gotta go around and

count some of the children and see if they all have hair.

What's Mom doing now?

She's sitting up in the bed.

Well, that's good.

What's happening?

We're worried about Mom.

Okay, well, I'll take care of it from here, all right? Okay. Tell me.

Something. How often do you all look through this keyhole?

Hardly ever.

Later on, we're going to talk about some of the things you've seen.

Hi.

Hi. All right.

How you feeling?

Tired. Want to talk about it?

I'm too tired to talk about it.

Okay. So, Cliff, this is what's going on.

I, um... I don't think I have anything left to give.

All day long, I give to clients at the office, and when I come here, everybody

around here expects me to give for another six hours.

I love the work, and I love the kids, but after all these years, I just think

don't have anything left to give.

What can I give?

Nothing.

What can anybody give, honey? This is just life.

I just probably need to be alone and have some peace and quiet.

Yes. Yes.

Yes. Now listen to me.

There's a surgeon at the hospital.

Dr. Zack.

This man is always talking about a place that he goes to in the Adirondacks that

there's a central building.

and a bunch of log cabins around the lake, dear.

You could go there now.

Sounds lovely. It is lovely. Now, what I'll do is I'll call him. He knows about

trains and everything.

I'll put your dad on it. You're on your way.

Adirondacks, log cabin, overlooking the lake.

Bingo. Come back refreshed.

But I'm not so sure I need to go that far. I mean, if I just spent a day here

bed, I'd probably be fine. You can't spend time in bed, Eddie.

Mom, are you okay?

something very important to ask you.

Dad, is Mom in there?

You ought to know. You're looking through the keyhole on her.

No, I'm not. Is she all right?

No. You ruined her life.

Okay, I'll come back later.

Cliff? Mm -hmm?

Call him.

I'm on the horn.

better than those old black and white things you make us watch it was a black

and white thing they colorized it why do you think the dalmatian was

pink with brown spots i wonder if mom got up to the lodge okay yeah i would

imagine so well let's call and find out okay we're gonna call her but let me

tell you this this will be the one and only call because your mother's on

vacation

All right, hold it back just a little bit more. Thank you. We just want to

her up, tell her how much we love her, how much we miss her, and good night.

Good evening.

Pine Ridge Lodge. Mr.

Bingham speaking.

Yes.

Mr. Bingham, you have a guest there by the name of Mrs.

Claire Huxtable. May I speak to her, please?

Huxtable. Let me see what we've got here.

Ah, yes, here we are.

Huxtable. Yes.

She signed in on the register at 10 .17 p .m.

this evening.

Oh,

lovely penmanship.

I'm afraid I can't let you speak to her. Large policy. We don't call the cabins

after 10 .30 at night.

You can call back after 6 a .m. Would you please tell her?

that her children and her husband said, good night, please.

Well, I won't be able to tell her that until after 6 a .m.

It wouldn't make much sense to tell her good night tomorrow morning, would it?

Good night.

Mr. Bingham speaking.

Mr. Bingham, this is Claire Huxtable. I'm a guest here in the lodge.

Oh, yes, you're up there in cabin 17.

Yeah, well, I want to talk to you about this cabin 17 business.

There is no heat in this room.

Oh, yes.

Pipes blew this morning.

Yeah, well, the window blew, too.

Not a lot of fresh air coming in, have you?

Could you send somebody over here to fix this place?

That would be Charlie.

Charlie, fine.

Where is he?

Well, he hasn't come back yet from deer hunting.

That's Charlie now.

Sounds like he's close to the property.

I'd stay away from those windows.

Do you think Mom's up by now?

Are you kidding?

Out there, your mom is probably so invigorated, man. By the nature, she's

probably up walking around.

Good morning.

Pine Ridge Lodge here, Mr. Bingham speaking.

Yes, this is Dr.

Huxtable. I would like to speak to my wife, please.

All right.

I'll hook you up.

We got a phone in every cabin, you know.

Matter of fact, it was my brother -in -law that installed these phones back in

1940.

I'm sure it was. May I speak to my wife, please? I'm calling from New York City.

You live in New York City, do you?

Yes, sir. The Big Apple.

The Big Apple.

You haven't seen the Big Apple until you've seen the kind we grow up here.

Yes, sir.

I'm really anxious to talk to my wife, sir.

Hello. Sweetheart, I love you, and how are you?

Cliff, I want to talk to you about this place you sent me to.

Yes, and I know you are loving it.

No, I'm not.

I want to come home, and I want out of here now.

Well, why don't you just take a train? Do you know where, when one leaves?

Yeah, thank you.

Wouldn't Ms. Constable have to leave just because she ate too much?

Who said she ate too much?

Rudy, she said Ms. Constable had to leave just because she was fed up.

You know, fed up means that if you're irritated about some things,

you've had enough.

Oh, I...

You've been there?

Yes. When people tell me to do things that I don't want to do, that's when I

fed up.

You do?

Yes.

But I know how to take care of it.

How? Well, I go up in my room, put my face against the window, and blow until

it gets foggy.

Well, I'll tell Mrs. Huxtable about that. Listen, I was wondering if you

help me.

Because I get caught in traffic when I'm driving, and I get fed up.

And I come here, and I'm just tight, and I'm fed up. Now, what would you do

about that?

Think about it. Okay.

Aha! Go out in the backyard, dig a hole, take the dirt from the hole, pour water

on it. That makes mud, and you know what you do with that mud?

What? Squish your hands in it, and that doesn't make you feel better.

Take your shoes off and step in it.

You feel like a new man.

Hello. Hey.

Now, look who's here.

Hi, Mrs. Huxley. Hi, Olivia.

You look awful.

I know.

You need to step in some mud.

really did.

Good night. Good night.

What are you doing here? I thought the train didn't leave until tomorrow.

Cliff, let me just say thank you. You're welcome.

I will always think fondly of my little log cabin in the woods.

And as much as I hated to leave my little wooded paradise, I convinced Mrs.

Bingham to drive me to the nearest bus station, which was three towns away.

Well, listen, you're home now.

Your husband is going to go upstairs, run a hot bath for you, get some oil,

rub -a -dub -dub those muscles.

All right? Thank you. Yes, indeed. Come on.

Take care of you now.

Hi, Mom.

You still look awful.

Oh, really?

Tell that to your father. What is this?

It's a history paper I'm writing. Yeah, but you're not going to fool her with

this at all. Do you understand?

In the tub before you rub. That's it. Well, now, wait a minute. I've been away

from this child for a whole day. Are there any problems?

Yeah, but I can't tell you. Dad said I couldn't bother you for a week.

Well, you were not even supposed to say that to her now.

Move. Bye -bye.

Give me this paper. Don't listen to your father. No, see, there you go again.

Now, you're not supposed to do that.

Just stop it. Give it back to the child. It's all right, honey. I want to do

this. Oh, I want to do it. Yes. Well, this is not long ago. You up there, I

nothing to give, Cliff.

Cliff, I have nothing to give.

It's all this life here. I don't know what I feel. I don't really, I don't

I don't have nothing to give.

Well, go ahead and give it up, sister.

The Cosby Show is taped before a studio audience.