Original subtitles

Your glasses on?

All right, now the chips are going to be flying all over the place, so turn your

face away from this.

Turn your faces.

Right.

Well, come up to me when this stuff flies.

I'm sorry, honey.

I just wanted to see what you guys were doing out here.

Oh.

Carving initials.

Denise and Sandra have made some hot chocolate. Wouldn't you like to come

inside? Oh, yes, we would love some hot chocolate.

Well,

how about you, honey? Come on, come on inside. No, no, no, no. I've got to cut

this down.

Then I'm staying here with you.

I what?

I'm staying here with you.

Because a woman's place is by her man.

Temple, North Carolina game. It's just getting ready to start. Oh, no kidding.

That should be great.

Hey, what's up? Where have you been? You were supposed to help us out there in

the yard. Oh, well, I'm sorry. I slept right through the alarm. I was up real

late last night. Really?

Studying or Justining?

I was with Justine. Oh!

No, no, no, no, no. Come on, Chell. It wasn't that.

Justine got this new multi -disc CD player. So we put in six CDs, listened

music, and just held each other.

And when the CDs ran out, you let go.

No.

Then we talked until the sun came up.

Oh, that's very nice.

Yeah. I mean, things are going so well between us now. It's like whenever we're

together, the vibes are just powerful.

Wow. I've never seen one of those multi -disc CD players.

You mean you can actually put six CDs in them?

Time out, time out, time out. I can't believe you guys.

I mean, I'm sitting here talking about Justine and romance, and all you care

about is the CD player?

So what?

You can't say anything to us, man, until you're in the 100 % club in the first

place.

What's the 100 % club? We are married, and we love our wives 100%.

Now, until you love your woman 100%, you can't get in this club.

Justine and I have a wonderful relationship as it stands. I'm not

married now because I don't want to end up in the marriage graveyard.

Marriage graveyard?

Yeah, that's where the romance goes to die.

What are you talking about? I just don't see the romance with you guys anymore.

And be honest, when was the last time you gave your wives a long, passionate

kiss? All the time.

when I'm around.

Am I supposed to call you every time I kiss my wife?

Martin, I was over here the other day eating. You came back from the store.

hadn't seen Denise all day.

You gave her a little peck on the cheek and went in the kitchen.

Marriage graveyard.

Theo, I was carrying groceries.

Put the groceries down and kiss the woman.

And Alvin. Hey, man.

Sandra and I don't live here, so don't give me any comments about how I romance

my wife.

Elvin, last week I was at your house. Yeah.

After dinner, we sat down on the couch to watch a movie. Yeah. You put your

in Sandra's lap. Yeah. And you fell asleep.

Snoring loudly.

Marriage graveyard. I don't remember that.

And dad.

No, no, there's no and dad.

I have five children. I don't have to prove anything to anybody.

Great game.

Yes! Tempo!

Hey, did you see Theo jump up and run out of here at the final buzzer? Yeah,

goes over to Justine and he gets a little hugging and kissing and he thinks

romance.

Theo thinks he had a romantic evening with Justine and those...

Six CDs.

You know, I remember last fall. It was a beautiful, warm autumn evening.

And Denise and I decided we were going to take a walk across the Brooklyn

Bridge. Well, by halfway there, she got too tired. So I picked her up in my

arms, and I carried her the rest of the way.

By the time I was done, well, I was tired. Denise looked small, but, hey,

a long walk.

But anyway, we just found a bench and just looked out over the East River at

moon reflecting on the water.

That's romance, all right. That's romance.

That was a romantic evening.

Romantic. Without CDs.

Please.

Romance. He don't know about being romantic. I don't think so.

I'll tell you a romantic moment that Sandra and I had.

I was studying for an exam and Sandra was in the room with Winnie and she was

crying and so Sandra was taking care of it.

I went to bed because I had to get up early and I started to miss her.

So I took the mattress off of our bed. I brought it into Winnie's room.

And we put Winnie down between us and Sandra and I spent like 15 minutes

love songs to her.

And after Winnie went to bed, we kept singing them to each other.

That is romantic. Don't tell me that I don't have romance.

Nobody's going to tell you that. I don't know what year it was.

I remember I worked about six days in a row delivering babies. And I had about

maybe 12 hours sleep in the six days time.

But each time I got a chance to go home, I'd look and Claire just looked spent.

I called her secretary and I said, I want you to send a dress over.

Her dress.

Shoes, a whole outfit.

to the Carlisle Hotel.

I rented a suite.

Room service came up.

A little champagne, just a taste.

We had champagne, we had lobster, we had everything.

Stayed overnight.

Limousine drove us home.

Now, is that romance or what?

Well, Dad, I don't mean to put you down, but, you know, anyone can have

romance if they spend money like that for it, you know. I mean, Martin and I

our limited resources to create romantic situations for our wives. I personally

think that that's a higher form of romance.

I agree.

Now, are the two of you telling me that I couldn't be as romantic?

If I didn't have the big buck? No. All I'm saying is that it's been a while

since you've been used to anything else.

Are you busy Saturday night?

No. You busy Saturday evening? No. The three of us get dressed in tuxedos. We

have dinner here.

Each man, prior to the dinner, will go out and buy his wife a present.

There you go again. That's buying things to create romance.

Let me finish.

The present is from the heart, and each man cannot spend any more than $25,

tax included, on the present.

I like this. Yeah? I like this. Okay. But how are we going to be able to tell

who's been the most romantic? From the reaction of our wives. And the winner

will be...

The emperor of romance.

Now, do you agree?

I accept the challenge. All for one, one for all, and three for five.

There you go.

No,

Jake. Listen to me carefully.

$25 maximum tax included.

Something romantic. for my wife.

Now, don't you have something?

No, Jake!

I don't want an electric can opener.

Now, come up with something. You call me back.

Hey, Dad. Hey. How you doing, man?

Hey. I hear there's a big dinner happening here for the wives tonight.

you have Mr. Lamont coming over to cook it for you. Yes, he's an old friend and

he's returning a favor.

Well, you're welcome for the inspiration.

Yeah, well, thank you. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Come here, come here a

second. Let me ask you a question.

What's up?

You're a young man and you have a girlfriend and no money.

What was the last thing that you can remember that you gave her?

And when you gave it to her, she just fell apart. She just peers and just

you and kissed you.

The other day, Justine mentioned that she was out of subway tokens. Okay. So I

went down, bought her a tin pack of tokens, wrapped it up in a little

then I gave it to her.

And Dad, she gave me a big old kiss right there on the subway platform.

But then again, she gives me those kind of kisses all the time.

Because we're not married.

Yeah, well, you idiot, your mother doesn't ride the subway.

Hey, Dad.

Now, where have you guys been?

We were shopping.

I bet you were shopping for Denise's present.

Yes, we were. A very special present. Denise will love it. How are you coming

along with your gift?

Gift that I have for Mrs. Huxtable.

After everybody sees it, the present you have in that bag will look like it came

out of that bag.

We will see about that. But right now, I'm going to go upstairs and hide this.

Uh -huh.

Olivia?

Olivia, come here, dear.

Haven't seen much of you.

Well, well, well, haven't seen that much of you. You know, everything going. So

you went over to the mall, huh?

That's right.

Nice places you went to? You want to know what we got Denise, don't you?

Yes.

I'll tell you.

We got Denise.

Would you look at that?

Nasty hangnail.

Can I get these?

Are you going to tell me what the gift is or not?

I'll give you a hint, but listen carefully.

A wet moose walks backwards at night.

buzzers, whistles, and sleep.

It makes no sense.

Maybe not, but I know what Denise's person is, and you don't.

We're getting gifts?

I didn't say that. Oh, yes, you did. I distinctly heard you say, I bet you

wait to get your gifts.

I was not supposed to say that. Let's change the subject.

You know, if something's going on that we don't know about, maybe you should

share it with us. Yeah.

Olivia, women always share secrets.

That's right.

Okay, the $150 gift can only spend $25.

That's what the bet was.

What bet?

Who's the most romantic?

Whoever likes to give the most.

The husband wins.

Wait a minute. The husband's made a bet to see who could be the most romantic?

Yes.

But you didn't hear that from me.

So that's what this is?

It has nothing to do with us.

It's a bet.

I cannot believe it. I can't believe we're part of some stupid macho contest.

And where... do they get off spending only $25?

Your father gives me his gift even if I love it. I'm going to look like this.

Good, Mom.

Okay, you do that, and as soon as I open my gift, I think I'll just have to fall

asleep.

You guys.

I think I'm going to go easy on Martin.

Well,

do something a little more delicate. Something like...

it so good. Not even a board ship.

Well, ladies, this evening is not over yet. We gentlemen have a surprise for

each and every one of you.

Really, ladies? Did you hear that? A surprise.

How nice.

Thank you.

Sandra,

darling, I love you.

I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

And I'd like to give you this.

And I hope that it means as much to you as it means to me.

Oh, excuse me.

I don't know what came over me.

I know you've always wanted a string of pearls, and since I couldn't afford to

get you that, I thought I'd get you one pearl, and then...

Add another one to this string every year of our lives together.

Oh, Elvin.

Oh, honey, I love the thought of that. Thank you.

you kissed me.

And as I walked back to my ship, I used this handkerchief to wipe the lipstick

from my lips.

You saved that?

And this... This... is the

flower that you wore on your hair when we were married on a hill in Africa.

is a time capsule.

Read the inscription.

February 22, 2040.

That's 50 years from now.

When we buy our first home together, we're going to bury this in the

And 50 years from this date, we're going to open it together.

Teenage boy, very, very early in his teens, walked with his

girlfriend.

And they went to the drug store to share a soda.

And his girlfriend looked at a barrette made of wood with a

glass stone in it.

Cost about 50 cents.

And she admired that barrette, but the young teenage boy had no money to

buy it.

However, for tonight's occasion, I was fortunate.

I called and I called and I found a collectible store that had

one of these same wooden barrettes with the glass stone in the

center.

And so...

I feel that it's important for my bride who admired that barrette to

open it and wear it tonight.

You remember that?

Yes. You called long distance for that barrette?

Yes. That's very sweet, Cliff.

Thank you.

But I never wanted the barrette.

But what you said... When you looked and...

Eunice Chantilly wore

that beret. And I said it was tacky.

What I wanted was a green plastic bracelet, Cliff.

Not that tacky beret.

This.

Yes.

The Cosby Show is taped before a studio audience.