Original subtitles

you

It's the best elevator music I've ever heard.

Come in.

Hi, Dad.

Hey, hon.

How you doing? All right.

So, you busy?

Uh, well, uh, sort of. What, uh, what you have in mind?

I just came by to see if you needed anything.

Oh, sort of making a house call, huh?

Dad,

this place is crawling with dust.

Thank you.

How much?

Only $15.

$15 for what?

To dust your office.

What is it that you want $15 for, dear?

Dad, there's this new CD that I have to have. Tell me what would happen to you

if you didn't get it.

I'd die.

It can't happen.

Dad, it's only $15.

Only $15, okay.

Clean out the garage, I'll give you $15.

Dad, that place is a mess.

But I'll dust your office for $14 .75.

$4. $14 .50?

$3 .95.

Dad, you're going the wrong way. That's not how you negotiate.

Don't tell me how to negotiate. $3 .85.

You're not going to give me the money, are you?

$3 .75.

My offer's on the table.

Now, you keep talking, it keeps dropping.

Dad, I'd be happy to dust your office for $3 .75, but I don't know anybody who

works for that kind of money.

Really? Let me tell you something.

In 1919...

Coal miners earned 73 cents an hour. They had to crawl down into

a small hole, miles, in the dark, with a pick.

And they had to hack away, water dripping on them, gas fumes coming at

dirt all over the face, no fresh air.

Bent over in a little crawl space and did that all day long and came out with

maybe $7.

And from that $7, those coal miners bought dinner, paid the rent, made

contributions to church, and had time and money left over

to buy CDs for the children.

way. Real men don't dance.

That's ridiculous.

Lots of men dance.

Besides, I'm looking around the room. I don't see any real men.

Hey, Danielle.

Hi, you guys. I just bought the most amazing thing at Judy's Shirt Shop

the corner.

Look. Wow.

How much did it cost?

You won't believe it. It was on sale for only $5.

I just have to have one. Me too.

Let's go over to the shop now.

I don't get my allowance until tomorrow.

Tomorrow will be too late. They only have two left.

Well, maybe I can find the $5 up in my room.

Kim and I will stay at the store and make sure no one buys the last one.

wait for you there.

Okay, come on, Kim. I'll get your jacket.

We'll be so...

Okay.

I count $2 .70.

I'm $2 .30 short.

I don't have any more money.

Why don't you sell something?

What do I have to sell?

How about this raggedy old basketball poster?

I'll take it off your hands.

No way, that's my autographed poster magic job.

dad gave me that poster. I love it. A girl can't appreciate a magic Jonathan

poster. I bet you don't even know his real first name.

Irvin. He's the point guard for the Lakers.

Last season, he had a per game average of 22 and a half points, 12 .8 assists,

and 7 .9 rebounds.

Well, everybody knows that.

Or nothing.

Okay. It's a deal.

Great.

Wait a minute. Hey, hey, hey. Where's my money?

I don't have it right now.

But my brother owes me $3. I'll give it to you then.

But I need my money now.

Why don't you borrow it from somebody?

You can pay them back when I pay you back.

Then I'll ask my parents for it. Good choice. They're loaded.

I want to show you something.

A Declaration of Financial Independence for Vanessa Huxtable. I figured it's

about time, don't you? Did you get a job?

See, that's the beauty of it. It doesn't require me to get a job so that I can

spend more time studying.

See, the average 16 -year -old's allowance is one -tenth of one percent

average family income.

But you and Dad make more than the average salary.

So if my allowance were raised to one -tenth of one percent of that, I could

be... financially independent.

So the assumption is that as our child, you are entitled to a percentage of our

income. Yes. No.

But, Mom, it's your responsibility to clothe and feed me. I didn't ask to be

born. That was your and Dad's decision.

That was your father's decision.

It's too late now, Mom. I'm here, and you have to deal with it. All right, I

will. Your allowance will remain the same until you get married, and then it

will drop.

Come on, Mom, I need a bigger allowance.

I'm a Huxtable.

My friends expect me to have money when we go out. Vanessa, I couldn't care less

what your friends expect, and you would have more money if you were more

responsible. Well, I'm very responsible with my allowance. Hey, Mom!

Vanessa, I'm speaking with your sister at this moment.

I would strongly suggest that you get a job or learn how to budget your

allowance because I am tired of giving out extra money every single week.

Nobody's getting any more money from me today.

Rudy? Yeah? Was there something you wanted to say?

No.

get the money for my mom.

I guess you can kiss that sweatshirt goodbye.

You sure that you can give me the $2 .30 later?

Absolutely. My brother gets a paycheck tonight.

Then I know where I can get the money.

Go ahead.

Okay, see you.

Will somebody get that?

I'll get it, Mom!

Hi, Andy.

Hey, Rudy.

I got your mom's dry cleaning. Hi, Andy.

Hey, Ms. Huckable.

Did you get that spot out of my red blouse? You know our motto. We go

great pains to get rid of those stains.

So you got it. Well, we went through a lot of pain, but you still have a stain.

But everything else came out beautifully.

Well, thank you.

Here's your exact change.

$18 .50.

Thanks. Thank you very much, and I'll see you next week.

Um, Miss Huxtable, I'm afraid you're $2 .30 short.

I am?

Well, now, um, it must have fallen on the floor.

I know.

Um, Andy, I put the money right here.

Really, I don't understand. I put $18 .55 right here so that it will have the

exact change, and it's just not here.

Ms. Huxtable, don't worry about it. You can give it to me next time I come by.

Well, thank you.

I'm so organized, usually. I just don't know how this could have happened.

That's okay. Bye.

Bye.

That doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

Now, where could that money have gone?

Oh, I must be losing it.

Quiet. Come on.

Well, did you get the money?

I couldn't get it all.

How much did you get?

A dime.

A dime?

That doesn't do me any good.

I need $2 .30.

And you said your brother would give it to you. He didn't have it. But don't

worry. I get my allowance on Friday. I'll pay you then.

Friday's going to be too late. I need the money now. I want to pay my mom

I thought you said your mother wouldn't give you the money.

She left it on the counter, so I took some.

You stole it?

I didn't steal it. I borrowed it.

Only because you said you were going to pay me back now.

That's still no reason to go around stealing.

I've got to get the money somewhere.

I'll go to see him. You're going to steal it from him? No!

I'm going to ask him for it.

I still can't believe you stole that money.

You come from such a good family.

$2 .35 down on the stove says that when Andy came from the dry cleaners, I'd

have the exact change for him. And when he came home, it was $2 .30 short.

Well, see, I don't know, but I must have dropped it somewhere between here and

the kitchen because how could $2 .30 just... Here you are.

I'm so happy to hear this.

Here's the lawyer.

Order all the time. And now you can't find $2 .30.

Make funny husband when he can't find anything. And here she is dead.

Desperately tearing up the room for $2 .30.

You're so big, bud.

The other day I came out of the supermarket with a lot of packages. I

purse on top of the car while I was loading it. I got in the car and drove

I drove all the way home with my purse on top of the car.

That is pitiful.

You want me to help you look for it? No, that's all right. I'll find it myself.

Okay, well.

What I'm going to do, dear, is I'm going to go downstairs and then I'm going to

get your car and drive it over and have it serviced. No, you don't have to do

that. I did that an hour ago.

Dear, your car is sitting in the driveway right now.

Wait a minute.

Clint, there is... That was funny, but you still don't have

$2 .30.

Your mother is upstairs tearing the room apart looking for, ta -da, $2 .30.

Here? Yeah.

Hey, what's up? Hey, Dad. Oh, boy.

Rudy,

here's the money you wanted. I think it was $2 .30.

Um, I didn't want any money.

What are you talking about?

You called me up at school. You got me out of the library. You told me it was

emergency. You better take this money, girl.

Theo, I just called to see how you were doing.

Rudy, you begged me to come over here. He said if you didn't get the money by

tonight... Now that I think of it, it

was Justine.

You know, you guys really sound alike.

Yeah, sorry.

Well, while I'm here, I guess I'll get something to eat.

Well, you owe it to yourself.

You owe it to yourself.

up. Make sure you eat $2 .30 first.

Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well. A lot of people

talking about $2 .30.

Um, well, I think I should be going upstairs. No, I think you better sit

down here.

Come on, sit back down here, because we're talking about $2 .30 an awful lot,

and I'm just curious about $2 .30.

You got something to say?

Dad, there was this sweatshirt that I wanted, but I needed the money.

Kenny said if I sold him my Magic Johnson poster, he'd give me the $2 .30.

Well, I did it. But Kenny couldn't give me the money right away.

So I took Mom's money off of the counter.

But it was only $2 .30.

If it was only $2 .30, why'd you steal it?

If it was only $2 .30, why did you sell a poster?

that I gave you.

If it's only $2 .30, why is your mother upstairs tearing the room apart and

you're sitting here looking like this?

Why didn't you come and ask me for the money?

Well, if I asked you, you would have said, what's it for?

And I would have said, it's for a sweatshirt that lights up.

Then you would have said, do you know how much coal miners got paid in 1990?

So, you...

took money from your mother without asking?

Yes. I didn't, and I'm sorry.

Okay. Well, then you just have to go tell your mother that.

Okay.

Let's go.

No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You got this over with. You and

go ahead.

Because I didn't do anything wrong. Your mother knows I didn't do it. As a

matter of fact, your mother knows everything about me from the day I was

I don't owe anybody any money. And don't forget, it's only $2 .30.

And make sure that you understand this also, young lady, that 1919 is going to

become very important to you when you have children.

$2 .30.

Not now, Olivia.

But you promised.

I'm busy.

But you just said...

I'm thinking.

It doesn't look like you're thinking to me.

I have to tell Mom, and I'm thinking of a way to do it.

Is it something bad?

No, but Mom might think it is.

Will you get into trouble?

I don't know, but it wasn't my fault, Olivia.

Why don't you tell her that? Why don't you go upstairs and talk to Mom for me?

Sure, your mom is nice. Tell me what you did.

I borrowed some money.

That's not bad.

It was the money she was going to pay the clerk.

She left the money on the counter and Kenny said he was going to pay me back,

but he didn't.

So I took the money off the counter.

Sorry, Ritty. I think you're on your own with this one.

Okay. We're still friends, aren't we?

something. I know where the $2 .30 is.

What?

I took the money off of the calendar and used it to buy a sweatshirt that lights

up. Yes!

I did not lose the money. I did not lose my money.

Yes!

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

No, you come back here now. The celebration is over.

You watched me get agitated in the kitchen when I couldn't find the $2 .30.

didn't you come forward with the truth then?

I thought you'd be angry with me. Honey, you saw me get upset. You watched me go

through this entire drama looking for money that you knew where it was, and

said nothing?

That's dishonest.

I'm sorry I didn't, and it won't happen again.

I would sure like to see the shirt that caused all this trouble. Go get it.

Tell me. I can't remember where I put a thing.

My mind is organized.

Hi, Mrs. Constable.

Hi. I have to tell you something. It's from Rudy.

Oh, okay. Come here.

She sold your magic show poster.

Now she wants you to meet me at the counter in the kitchen so you can borrow

some money. What you did wasn't wrong, but you thought it was wrong because

nobody's right.

It has life.

Yeah, watch.

It doesn't work.

I got a bad shirt.

So you got the shirt that you wanted, even though the way you went about it

caused a lot of trouble, and it doesn't work.

One little sad fisheye.

And it's still the matter of the $2 .30 which you owe me, and you will pay.

But, Rudy, even if the shirt had worked, Was it worth all this?

You little thief.

Hi, kid.

Come on in. I want to talk to you about something.

I bet it has something to do with Rudy. I bet you it does.

Now, this afternoon,

My daughter wanted to buy some kind of shirt, I don't know what, but she didn't

have the money and she was willing to sell you a Magic Johnson poster.

That's right. My brother said, an opportunity knock, open the door.

And you walked right in.

You say that your brother owed you some money, but I suspect that your brother

doesn't owe you any money at all. True or false?

True. But I did ask him. He's broke.

True or false, I also suspect that your allowance will not cover this $2 .30.

True. So, you lied to get what you wanted, and my daughter ended up

get what she wanted.

I know. She really surprised me.

Okay, Mrs. Huxtable and I are dealing with Rudy.

However, I want to talk to you about something that's important, because that

is... my Magic Johnson poster.

Well, I know it meant a lot to you.

I'll let you have it for $4.

I don't think you understand, Ken.

You didn't pay for the poster. Therefore, the poster does not belong to

I bought it on credit. That's the American way.

The going rate on credit, all right, is about $18.

So on $2 .30, at the end of the month, you would probably owe something like

$2 .75.

And if you didn't pay anything on it as time rolled by, it could go up as high

as $873.

And that's the American way.

Well, I'll bring it to you tomorrow.

Yeah, well, no, see, that's what I wanted to talk to you about also. When

talk about credit and money owed, there's another thing that's the

and that's called repossession.

I know what that means.

It's when they come to your house.

Happens to my brother every month. Right.

The Cosby Show is taping for a studio audience.