Original subtitles

We interrupt our regular programming for a special news report.

Here is NBC News correspondent John Palmer.

This morning, three more pregnant men have been cited. The men, each of whom

in his ninth month, were discovered in Oconomowoc, Wisconsin.

This brings the total number of pregnant men in the United States to well over

11 ,300 ,000.

As we reported earlier, this phenomenon has been traced to the eruption of a

volcano in Peru.

Scientists say spores from the volcano have altered the world's water supply,

enabling men to become pregnant.

As yet, no man has given birth, but millions are due at any moment. The

hospitals are standing at the ready in a state of total confusion.

Wait, this just in.

Another pregnant man has been spotted at a car dealership in Marietta, Ohio.

Stay tuned for further updates.

Honey! Honey, get down, honey. They just found four more.

All right!

I feel sorry for them.

I feel sorry for myself.

Please, please, please, don't even, don't touch me, please.

Can you scoot? Can you?

Yeah, just that. Be careful.

Now,

is that better?

I've got to put them up. Yes, let's put them up here on the table.

They're not bending well.

Now, how's that?

It's much better.

Where's that mess come from?

Who ate down here?

I did, Cliff. And why didn't you clean the mess up? Well, honey, I'm tired. I

want you to clean the mess up. You people come in here and you eat, and I

finished cleaning, and then you come behind. Never mind. I'll get it myself.

no, no, no, no. I'll get it myself.

I'll get it. I don't understand why you can't clean this mess up after you've

finished eating. And look at this.

Look at this. I just dusted in here. I just dusted and cleaned. And now look at

the floor. I'm going to have to vacuum.

I'm sorry, Cliff. I'll vacuum. No, you're not sorry. You don't care about

way I look. You don't care.

Honey, please.

Honey, please.

Oh, my.

Sweetheart, come on now.

No, no, no.

Just relax now.

Where's Alvin? Oh, he's on his way

low to the ground.

Must have been made by women. Hi.

Have a seat.

I gained another eight pounds.

You look gorgeous.

I do not.

Well, I stopped having morning sickness. Now I'm having afternoon sickness,

night sickness.

I'm sick at dusk.

Men, you're going to drop them any minute.

Martin, are you sure it's only eight pounds?

Looks like you might be having twins.

Well, if anyone could give him twins, it would be me.

Check it out. I didn't do too badly myself.

I can't wait to get started on the next one.

Look at his face, how it's filling out. Isn't he cute?

Ladies, shall we make our husband some tea?

Ah, good idea.

Well, nothing for me, thanks. I can't keep anything down.

We'll be in the kitchen if you need us.

Mm -hmm.

Hi,

everybody.

Dad.

Hey dad son How

are

you doing I'm doing as well as I can it's not easy to deal with the idea of

being an unwed father I Mean I can't believe

she just got on the bus and left town

told me she loved me.

But I guess it was only after one thing.

That's what you get for giving it up without a wedding ring.

Well, I know it'll get your mind off your troubles. It always helps me.

Basketball. Hey, yeah.

The Celtics are playing the Lakers. Turn it on.

A man, Magic Johnson, driving down the court. He's moving so slowly.

The man's eight months pregnant.

Please turn this off. This is very depressing.

Guys, let me ask you something. I mean, have any of you thought about what it's

going to be like when we give birth? I mean, you know, the pain.

Well, Dad, you've seen a lot of births. What's it like?

It's going to be pain.

A lot of pain.

Gentlemen, I don't like to hear this kind of talk.

We're men.

We handle pain better than women, right?

I'm sensing some hesitation here, and I don't like it.

Look, I am a proud member of this country's military

service.

6 a .m. than most people do all day.

We're tough. We can take it. So when I say that men can take pain better, by

God, I expect you to agree.

Right? Right.

All right. Yeah, son.

Ooh!

What if it's harder for us? I mean, we'll never hear the end of it. We'll

pact. No matter how bad the pain gets, we won't let on. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Ooh. All right.

All for one.

And one for all.

And three for five. All right.

I

don't

know why I'm coming out here.

I have to go right back in there in a minute.

I'm going to have to spend the rest of my life in that bathroom.

I tell you, I don't know what's wrong with me.

But I just think I'm too old. I'm 52.

I'm too old to have a baby.

Cliff,

are you all right?

Contraction.

Okay, let's go. We're going to the hospital.

But, Cliff, that's just your first contraction, honey. The next one might

come for 30 minutes. You have to wait till they're five minutes apart.

Don't tell me what to do with my body.

Now, I'm going.

Let's go.

Cliff, we have to time these things when they're five minutes apart. You know

how this goes.

Look, I'm telling you, this is my body.

Now, get the car ready.

Saddle up, Roy. We're out of here.

All right, Cliff. All right. I'll tell you what. Let's get your bag and we'll

put it down by the door. And then when the contractions are five minutes apart,

then we'll go.

Look, when was the last time?

What was my contraction time? How long ago?

I don't know. I guess about a minute ago. What do you mean you don't know?

That's the only job you have is to time the contractions. You can't do a simple

job. I'm having a baby, and you can't remember what the time was from the time

said, oh, that's your job.

It's just a very simple job.

You don't have anything else to do except time the contraction, and you

remember the time. All you know is you want to get in the car and go. Well, go!

And I'll tell you something else. It's the last time you and I get in this bed

together.

Good exercise, good exercise.

I thought I'd seen it all.

The 1939 World's Fair, combat in Sicily, Elvis on the Ed Sullivan Show, and last

week I swear I saw Elvis alive at the Paramus Mall.

But I've never seen men giving birth.

It's remarkable.

Grandpa, how did you manage to avoid this?

Well, didn't you hear the news bulletin this morning?

They say when the volcano erupted, the spores didn't get to the water supply in

New Jersey.

You know, I'm curious.

Are you planning to breastfeed?

Russell,

go get our car. We'll take the unwed one.

Uh -huh. Shut up.

Now, when I was on the wrestling team in high school, my coach would say to us,

the toughest battle you'll face is with your courage.

Then, he'd look each of us in the eye and say,

Honey, come on. Give me a break. I wasn't inhaling.

Give me back.

Dr.

Strauss. Dr. Huxtable.

All the Huxtables.

I, uh... He came to make a delivery.

Any men delivery yet?

Yeah. Your neighbor, Jeffrey Angles, gave birth just a couple of minutes ago.

Well, let's burn rubber.

Jeffrey! Look!

Claire!

We heard you just delivered.

Yes, I did.

How was it?

You know, I can only say it was a miracle.

To think... that my body could bring forth a little tiny creature that exists

its own.

I'm filled with such wonder.

And they laid it on my chest for me to hold. It had such a sweet, angelic

face. It put my whole life into perspective.

Mr. Angles, when you gave birth, what did it feel like?

What did it feel like?

Didn't you hear me screaming in there?

It was the worst pain. I've ever felt in my life. I didn't know that pain like

that could exist.

The horror!

I don't understand how Mother Nature could allow such terrible suffering to

happen to a human being.

I mean, when I was nine years old, I fell out of my treehouse 20 feet onto

stone patio, and then the treehouse fell on top of me.

But that was just nothing compared to this.

excruciating, searing, grueling, unbearable, piercing pain.

And when I think of where that...

Cliff, honey, please.

problem here. No, no, Cliff, you're tensing, honey. You're tensing. I want

to breathe. Come on, inhale, and push, and push, and push.

I love women.

I think women are the most wonderful people on the face of this earth.

The Cosby Show is taped before a studio audience.