Original subtitles

Yes, Sandra.

That's exactly what I would prescribe. Dr.

Newman's right on the button.

Yeah, sure.

Penicillin's just fine.

And please do me a favor. Take it the whole nine days.

Don't stop just because you feel good.

All right? And that should get rid of that old strep throat.

Yes, indeed.

All right, you have a fine doctor.

Bye -bye.

That was Sandra?

Yeah. Why is she taking penicillin? She has strep throat.

Oh.

Well, I would have liked to have talked to her.

Well, she didn't ask for you, did she?

She's talking to me, you know. But I'm her mother.

Right, right, you are.

But you are not a doctor. You're not a doctor.

Well, you're a doctor, so what does that mean? Does that mean you know

everything? What did you tell her to do with the babies? She shouldn't be

breathing on those babies.

Well, uh, no, of course not. So I told her that she could wear a mask, you see.

A mask?

Yeah. Fred, bacteria are tiny little whatever that can get through anything

please. Did you tell her to scrub the walls down with disinfectant? That's

you should have told her to do. Did you tell her to do that?

No, I didn't. See, now that's what I'm talking about. You told the child to use

a mask. A mask.

What is that going to do? A mask. That just goes to show you you don't know

anything about sick people. She needs her mouth.

A mask, indeed. I'm going over there. I will solve this problem myself.

I'm going to go right over here. I'll call Francine.

I'll take her with me because she's a grandmother, too.

A mask.

What was a mask going to do? Jesse James wore a mask.

A lot of good that did, people.

I'm just here for a little while.

And then the angel of mercy will come and get me.

Just a minute, honey. I'm coming.

Oh, it's okay, honey.

Don't be afraid. It's only Mommy wearing a mask.

Now, Francine, before we go in this apartment, let's remember why we've

We're here to get those babies.

I agree. She shouldn't be breathing on those babies. Yeah, the last thing she

needs on her hands is a couple of sick babies.

Oh, Winnie, I'll be right back.

Mom, it's just strep throat. I'll be okay.

Nonsense, Sandra. Strep throat is serious business. You lie down.

And who is this over here making all this noise? Oh, it's Winnie.

There, there, now. You don't have to do that. I'm kidding. You heard me. You lie

down right now.

Oh, but I don't need to lie down, honest. You need to lie down. Don't

me. But, Mom, I have a million things to do around here. You're not going to do

anything. That's right. We're here to see that you get better. I made you some

hot chicken soup. I'll get a bowl.

Yes, and I'm going to put this blanket on you. Now, hold on there.

Oh, but, Mom, I don't need a nap right now. Oh, honey, it's all right. I'm

to fix it so you don't have to move to get a thing. Here's your telephone.

Here's your remote control for your television and lots of magazines. Now,

just stay down.

Oh, thank you, Mom. It has been really hard being sick and having to take care

of the babies, too.

Sweetheart, I know. That's why we're here to take care of the babies for you.

Oh, Mom, I appreciate that, but I can't expect you to stay here.

Oh, we're not going to stay here.

That's right. Your mother and I are taking Winnie and Nelson with us.

You're taking the babies?

Well, we have to. You don't want them to get sick, do you, Francine? Don't

forget the rattlers. Check.

No, but Daddy says the mask will protect the babies. What does your father know?

When did he have a baby, Francine?

The box of diapers and an extra blanket in the bedroom.

Check. But, Mom, do you have to take them? I've never been without my babies

before. I know exactly how you feel.

I felt the same. Well, then I had to give you to Grandma and Grandpa that

that I had the flu.

But when I look back on it, it was the only thing to do.

Listen to your mother, Sandra.

All right, Slippery, now don't talk about it. You better go to sleep.

Come on, I'm going to take you with me. We're going to have a good old time.

That's right, Shalobo. You and your sister are coming with us. Say goodbye

Mommy. Say goodbye to Mommy.

Bye, Winnie. Bye, Nelson. Mommy would kiss you, but I don't want you to get

sick. And don't forget to eat that soup. We'll call you later.

Will you please do us a favor the next time you get sick? Would you call us

first? Okay, I will. Thank you, sweetheart.

Bye -bye.

They're keeping them until I get well.

Until you get well?

Sandra, that might be two or three weeks.

Why did you let them do that, honey? You just sat here while they took our

children away?

Elvin, it was for the baby's own good. This way, Winnie and Nelson won't get

sick. But they weren't going to get sick. We're wearing masks.

Elvin, I'm sorry. I was really tired, and it sounded like the right thing to

Well, I'm sure it did, but...

You know, there was no reason why those babies had to leave.

I think that they used your sickness as an excuse to take our babies.

Alvin, don't be ridiculous.

Well, honey, look around.

I mean, there's hardly anything left. The only thing left is the baby

Now that you mention it, they were very persistent.

In fact, every time I tried to get up, they shoved me back down.

And then you should have seen their faces when they got their hands on those

babies. They were cackling.

I was trying to... No, they came in here and they lied to me about how I'd get

the baby sick.

And then they snatched them out of their playpen and they ran off into the

night.

sweetheart, um, I think you're jumping to conclusions. Why don't you just sit

down here? I think your sickness might be clouding your judgment a little bit.

No, Elvin, I'm going to get dressed and you're driving me over to my mother's

house. We've got to rescue our children.

Uh, do you really think you should leave the house? You're sick, you know.

Elvin, I'm going.

Are you in or out?

Um, I'm in.

Good.

And when we get there, I want you to stay in the car and leave the motor

in case we have to make a quick getaway.

And now it's time for the health news segment of our program.

All right. Is the game on yet?

No, but this will be off soon.

All right.

The latest findings from the Council on Nutrition indicate that Americans

consume too many fatty foods.

In the past, the focus has been on cholesterol.

That is even more dangerous.

Some foods that are high in saturated fat include potato chips, cheese,

processed meats, and fried meats.

The highest incidence of health problems occur in people who consume large

amounts of these foods.

People who are drawn to these foods should learn to control their eating

For some, the challenge is simply too great.

We recommend that these people seek professional help with the nutrition

All right.

Don't move.

Where are they?

Who?

Don't play dumb with me, Dad. You know who.

If I knew who, I'd tell you where.

My babies, Winnie and Nelson, where are they?

You don't know where your own children are?

Your wife, my mother, along with... Elvin's mother, took them right out from

under me, walked out, leaving me on the couch childless.

They haven't been here.

Ha!

Now I'm going to find my babies if I have to tear this place apart brick by

brick.

Honey, where's Sandra?

There's someone around here tearing my house apart.

Elvin, did you do something to her?

I may be slightly responsible for all this. I told Sandra, I kind of suggested

to her that our mothers took the babies out of the apartment because they wanted

to spend time with them.

I had no idea she was going to get as upset about this as she did.

I should have known they wouldn't be upset. That's too obvious. They won't

outsmart me. I'll find them, and when I do, someone's going to pay.

What do I do?

find the babies.

Do you know where they are?

Man, all I know is my wife left out of here screaming about I don't know

anything about medicine.

Now, that's all I know. I don't know where my wife is.

You mean you don't know where your wife went? I mean, how could you not know

that? Because I have about as much control over my wife as you have over

I guess at a time like this, my life must look pretty good to both of you.

They're not in the kitchen, they're not in the basement, and they're not in the

garage. You check under the couch?

Elvin, we're going to your mother's house.

And if they're not there, we're going to my grandparents' house. And if they're

not there, we're going to your aunt's house.

Honey, my aunt lives all the way up in the Bronx.

I don't care.

If we have to, we'll drive to Ohio.

We'll drive to Florida. We'll drive any place we have to to get those babies

back.

Dad, what do I do?

Send me a postcard.

Albert, move it!

You gotta move it, boy!

And thus you see what a normal...

Now we'd like to show you a photograph of the heart of a person who has spent a

lifetime consuming fatty foods.

Notice the abnormal amounts of fatty deposits on the...

Stop by with a couple of our friends.

Oh, they're such cuties. I've got to take a picture. Please come down here,

ladies, while I get my camera.

We just came from the mall, and there were at least a dozen people who came up

to us and wanted to pinch their cheeks. I don't blame them. They're

irresistible. Look at these faces.

That's right.

Oh, look, he loves you. You are irresistible, aren't you?

I'm ready for the pictures.

minute now this is the boy you cannot put that ribbon in his hair i spike it

now look at that you tell me

are they ready for a fashion magazine or what okay now everybody's fine

pictures, Zandra. You know it. She is so lucky to have people like us in her

life.

Zandra's very upset. You should have heard the way she gave it to Dad.

Zandra yelled at Dad?

Mm -hmm. Theo told me all about it. He said she wailed on Dad, showed him no

mercy. You know what this means, don't you?

That when we grow up, we can yell at Dad, too.

No.

is probably very hurt by what happened.

It's up to us to rebuild his ego.

How do we do that?

Well, I don't know. This has never happened before.

Just say whatever you can think of to make him feel better. Like what?

I don't know. Just say something.

Hey, Josh.

Hi, Dad.

Hi. Hello, Father.

Hello, daughter.

Dad, I just want you to know that you've been a great influence on my life.

Me too. I have a lot of respect for you.

Thank you.

As a father and a man.

Thank you.

Is there anything you want us to do? Because we recognize your position as

authority figure.

And you smell good, too.

How about you?

Pardon me? How much? How much? How much money do you guys want? Come on.

Dad, we don't want any money. We just love you because you're our father.

Well, since you asked, I'll take a dollar.

Look who's here!

Oh, baby!

Oh, what did you do to their hair?

We stopped by the beauty parlor to have a little fun. We have some pictures

here. Really?

Sandra will love to look at these.

We're going to take them by the apartment.

I don't think it's going to be necessary.

She should be coming back here pretty soon.

Sandra was here?

Mm -hmm.

She came over here and yelled at Dad.

Uh -huh, she wailed off his head.

She did not wail on my head.

Did you see her wail on my head?

All right, then, so how can you say somebody wailed on somebody's head?

And give me back the dollar I gave you.

Why don't you girls take the babies upstairs and change the diapers?

Okay. Come on.

Okay, and I'm telling Sandra where the babies are when she gets here.

Now, what is going on?

Well, I was sitting here, my son and I, we were eating, and this woman came into

the house with this mask on and said, Hot dog!

The woman is looking for the two of you, and she's serious, I'm telling you. She

thinks that you two came over to her house to deliberately take those

away from her.

That is absurd. Didn't we go there to take those babies?

No.

Yeah.

Well, uh... Remember, in the car you said those babies are coming with us no

matter what she says.

But of course, but we did it for their own good, right?

Listen,

you don't have to tell me anything. I'm not the person who's looking for you.

And she is looking for both of you.

And I'll tell you another thing. When she finds you, I'm going under a rock.

Cliff, it isn't going to be anything like that now. I'll just apologize for

happened. Coming from one mother to another, she'll understand. Everything

be fine.

Fine with me.

Don't get me.

Melvin, block this exit.

Hi, everybody.

Don't be nice to them.

Now, Sandra, I can see that you're upset. I know that we took the babies.

And for that, I do apologize. So do I. I'm very sorry. But we had the best of

intentions. And to tell you the truth, the children had a great time with us.

Uh, see? We have pictures.

You took my babies to the beauty parlor? Yeah, they were a big hit. You took my

babies out of my house so that they wouldn't get my germs, and then you took

them into a public place where dozens of people were breathing on them?

Sandra. I am talking.

These are my children. I gave birth to them. Do you have any idea how hard it

to give birth to two babies at once?

See, darn hard, I will tell you that. Now, son, we only... I am still talking.

I gave birth to these babies.

You are confused.

You are my mother. I am their mother. What I say goes.

I tell people what they can or cannot do with my children.

Now, if either of you ever tries this again, the next time you see these

children will be at their college graduation.

Whoa.

Now, Elvin, get upstairs and get our babies.

Keep me covered.

Nobody moves until I'm out of here.

And if anyone tries to follow us, they're going to get it.

Do you think it's safe for us to move

now?

Do you feel lucky?

She did not run over my face. Oh, tell me anything while I'm looking at you.

You are my mother.

Are you kidding me? I sat back and met you? I was tasty pudding, man.

I was enjoying that.

We really did have good intentions. We thought we were doing the right thing.

just got a little carried away, that's all.

Why don't you stop it?

The funniest thing is the two of you, I don't know what you call yourselves or

what act it is, went over there and took the woman's children.

After telling me, you don't know anything about medicine. What do you

strep throat and penicillin? Went over there and took and did something that

even I, a doctor, had more sense than that, than to take a woman's children

away.

Well, how did you come to know so much?

I think I was about 10 years old.

And it was a little blue jay, little baby blue jay.

uh uh was was uh flying around and and hit and and hit a tree and went down

and i picked it up and and and was dusting it off because it was done and i

now if i help this little bird this bird will be my friend for life like your

pet bird charlie well no no no i sat on charlie i was just brushing

him and taking care of him i looked up and saw this mother

Blue Jay was flying, and me and her face was like this, and I don't know what

she thought I was doing, you know, but she just came, and then she landed on

of my head and started picking my hair out.

And went like that and deep in the closet and then came around to the front

started pecking on my forehead.

And that's what happened to you today. You went out there and got your forehead

pecked off.

I guess so.

Yeah. But what happened to the baby Blue Jay?

I came in the house and my mother said, what is the matter with your forehead?

You know how she talks.

What is the matter with your forehead?

She had all these little holes in her.

She went upstairs, got my football helmet, put it on, went out, grabbed the

Blue Jay. The mother came down, landed on my mother's head, started pecking on

the helmet.

So my mother said, Hey.

Now, you have proven my point.

Let the record show.

You did not know what you were doing.

Your mother knew.

So what are you saying?

I mean, are you saying that the next time you go over to Saunders, you're

to wear a football helmet?

The Cosby Show is taped before studio audio.