Original subtitles

She walks in beauty like the night of cloudness.

She walks in beauty like the night.

I'm so embarrassed to stumble in front of my former professor. If you can't

remember something so elementary, then all my years of teaching at Hillman will

have been wasted.

Yes, yes.

I know it. She walks, she walks in beauty.

She walks.

Cliff, honey, please let the woman sit down. She's been walking a long time.

No, I know the poem.

What time is your lecture at Rutgers?

Tomorrow afternoon at three.

Well, if you're waiting for Cliff to remember this poem, I think you should

him and tell him you're going to be late.

She walks.

In beauty like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies.

And everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was... I'm sorry.

Wrong and pathetic.

Well, Professor, would you please tell my wife what grade I got in your

class? If my memory serves correctly, Heathcliff received an A. Would you

tell everyone in this room what grade Claire Olivia Hanks received?

A student's grade is confidential.

It was a B!

Well, Cliff, you may have received an A, but... He walks in beauty like the

night. Of cloudless climes and starry skies.

And all that's best of dark and bright meet in her aspect and her eyes.

Thus mellowed to that tender light which heaven to gaudy day denies. Beautiful,

beautiful.

Don't even think about it.

Hello?

Hey, Chuck.

You're kidding.

Really bad, huh? So you won't be able to play tonight?

No. All right, stay home, take it easy.

We'll play cutthroat. Bye -bye.

What's wrong?

It's Chuck. He's coming down with the flu and he won't be able to play

tonight. Oh, if you have an opening, I'd love to be your partner.

You play Pinochle? Yes, I do. And I'm a very good player, too.

Really? I don't mind telling him that it was I who put the P in Pinochle.

Dr. Foster, I don't think you've ever seen a game like this one. You see, once

month, Cliff's father and his friend Homer come over here to destroy...

Cliff and Suck, I don't even know why they bother to play. In five years, he's

not won a single game.

Oh, I'd love to play against these men. I don't think so. I would. You don't

understand. For instance, in the tradition of Pinochle, when you turn all

tricks that... Call the head rub. Well, my father and Homer don't say, consider

yourself rubbed. Do you mean these fellas actually rub your head? It's

than that. They just don't rub, Dr. Foster. They polish.

They buff.

They wax.

They cheat.

You mean they use hand signals? They're really not that sophisticated.

They use words. They say things like, I should never have eaten that hot dog

because now I have heartburn.

Yes.

It's even worse than that.

Things like, you know, yesterday my wife went out into the garden and took her

spade.

And later we went to the nightclub.

Doesn't make any noise.

Smell it.

It just smells like mail.

Drop it.

Now, I refuse to drop this package.

I'll do it. Freeze.

Is that my package?

What package?

It's your package, dear. Thanks. All right.

What is it? It's personal.

Who is it? Neve.

What do you want? I am reprinting your hat.

Okay, come in.

Thank you for letting me wear it. You're welcome.

What's that?

Can you keep a secret?

Sure. Okay, close the door. Ooh.

I got Tanya something.

Who's Tanya? Are you two becoming a thing?

Well, I've been seeing her for a while, and I really like her. Did you buy her a

ring? You'll see. You did. You did. You bought her a ring! Keep it down.

We see it.

All right.

It's beautiful, isn't it?

Yeah, it's something.

How much do you think you have to pay for a ring like this?

$200.

Well... $300.

Theo, I look at that, and I really have no idea what I paid.

You'll never believe it. I got this ring for only $19 .95.

Would you get it for one of those TV commercials?

Yep, and it comes with a money -back guarantee if I'm not fully delighted.

There's not even real diamonds on the commercial. They're called diamondoids.

Yeah, but they're as close to real diamonds as you can get.

You see, they've been popular in Europe for years, and now they're...

They're finally available in this country.

There's no way Tanya's going to think these are real.

There isn't? No, they just don't look it.

I guess.

But, hey, the thought that counts, right?

Right. Did it come with anything else, like a necklace or bracelet or anything?

No, but they're going to send a bamboo steamer. Oh.

and I should work out some signals.

Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.

Do you want to win?

Yes, but fairly and squarely.

You're dealing with the James boys.

This is Frank and Jeffrey.

In the words of Monty Hale, shoot low, they might be crawling.

Well, I'd rather lose.

As a gentleman, then win as a scoundrel.

Then you're going to get the rest of your hair rubbed off.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, how you doing, Dr. Foster? Hello, Theodore.

Dad, can I talk to you for a second?

Is it about money?

No. Let's go.

I want to show you something.

Now, when you see it, I want your honest reaction.

Okay. Just tell me what you think.

All right.

reaction yes 1995

how'd you know

it's dimenoids i saw it on television when did you ever watch

wrestling i didn't see it in wrestling it was four o 'clock in the morning i

watching an old movie who's it for tanya tanya is it a birthday no

christmas no it's just a friendship You don't want her for a friend very long,

do you?

What if you got to give her the ring?

I think what you ought to do is you ought to bring her in here during the

wrestling match.

You know, where they put the commercial on.

And if she says, oh, that looks nice, then you go in your pocket and say,

here you go.

I'm serious.

I'm serious.

See you.

How you doing? Fine. Good. Hey, Mr. Dobson. Hey, you look sharp.

Thanks. I've got a date. Then you don't want to hang around here.

You got it. See you later.

Wrestling at 9 o 'clock.

Hey, son.

Dad, how are you?

No, don't rub my hand already.

Hey, come on. How you doing? No. Come on.

You have to win. Where's Chuck?

Oh, Chuck has the flu.

And he will not be coming over. Besides, he said he didn't want to play with

cheaters anyway.

Who, us?

Son, how can you say that? We never cheated a day in our lives.

What's the matter?

Don't want to get hit by the lightning.

I guess that's just the three of us. No. We'll play cutthroat.

Every man for himself.

No, no. I have a partner.

Well, really?

What do you do, son? Go down to Renalooza?

No, I have a partner. It's Dr.

Foster. He's a doctor?

No, no, he's head of the English department at Hillman. A Hillman man.

indeed. Ah, these must be our worthy opponents.

Dr. Foster, I'd like you to meet Frank and Jesse.

Dr. Foster, I'm Dr. Father Russell Huxtable, and this is my friend Homer

It's a real pleasure. It's mine.

Heathcliff tells me the two fellows are spirited players.

Oh, we like a good game. That's right. We play to have fun. We don't care

whether we win or lose.

I want you to know that Heathcliff and I will not be easily beaten. That's good.

That makes the game that much more enjoyable.

Well, then let the games begin.

Fresh meat.

Oh, no. He looks like he's been rubbed to death.

My father used to say, no matter how dumb the dealer looks, always cut the

cards.

Your eyes may shine, your teeth may grit, but the cards you want, you will

get.

Watch it, Homer. Oh, that was low.

Am I missing something?

They're trying to tell us that since they're playing us, vultures are

overhead.

Hello, gentlemen.

Hi. Oh, please, please, sit down.

I'm taking the girls out for some ice cream.

Shall I bring home some for the winners? Good idea.

Homer, what would you like? I could go for a little pecan praline. Yeah, that'd

be especially good after the victory.

I got it. Come on, sweetheart.

Oh, no, Rudy, you're not going anywhere until you give Granddad a kiss.

When is Daddy going to get his head rubbed?

Later, sweetheart.

Gentlemen, before we begin, I'd like to ask a question.

Do you usually play straight partners, cutthroat, or double -deck auction with

widow?

Straight partners. A standard scoring of the Midwest check system.

Just what is the Midwest check system?

I'm so glad you told me about this book. It's wonderful.

I knew you'd like it.

Listen to this.

But in the hewness of dusk, I am moving toward the doom -like bell through the

flowered air beneath the rising moon. Allison's great, isn't he?

He sure is.

Tanya? Yes?

Can I ask you a question?

Sure.

Do you, uh, watch wrestling?

Wrestling? I don't like wrestling that much.

We've been, uh...

Seeing each other for about four weeks.

Almost five.

That long?

Yeah, it's been that long.

Well, uh, I haven't seen anyone else since I started seeing you.

Me either.

So what do you want to ask, Theo?

Well, this isn't easy for me. Wait, Theo, is it that you want to see someone

else? No, no, it's not that. It's not that at all.

It's not important.

Let's read some more.

Okay.

Cliff, you study long, you study wrong.

You studied wrong.

I think I'm going to have to have a little help on this one, partner.

Pay them no mind, Heathcliff. It's merely sound and fury signifying

why are you wearing that silly card?

Are you going to play the card?

Why should I play the card when it feels so good on my finger?

Come on, please, play the card.

Thank you, Pop Loop. Nothing to it.

You know, Russell, this warm weather reminds me when I was young.

We used to take the ball and the glove and go down to the baseball diamond.

Sometimes when I went out to play baseball, it would rain, and we had to

in the clubhouse.

Do you know what I think I'm going to do?

I'm going to leave with club.

I wonder why.

Good play!

Your turn, son.

Is that the king of club?

That is the king of club.

Well, to borrow from the great Duke Ellington, it don't mean a thing if I

your king.

You had the ace?

Yes, I did.

And Dr.

Foster, if you'll throw in your card, I can collect this trick.

That may be difficult to do, Mr. Huxtable Sr.

For since you threw your ace in my face, I may have to bump your rump with my

trump.

You've cheated, and you've lied.

And by the turn of this trick, the score is now tied.

Me thinks I hear the flapping wings of the birds of prey.

I wandered down the subway stair, seeing nothing, my mind plunging. The subway

was cool.

Yeah? I love the way you read.

Tanya, I'm not reading because I want to read.

I'm reading because I have something I don't want to give you.

You do? What is it?

Well, it's just a present. It doesn't mean anything.

I mean, it means something, but it doesn't mean what it could mean.

Here.

Hi. Hi.

Hi, Theo. Hi, Tanya. Hi, Theo. Hi, Tanya.

Like I was saying, I have something I want to give you, but it's no big deal,

really. Theo, what is it?

It's beautiful.

I love it.

It's real cheap.

It's so beautiful.

It'll probably turn your finger green.

If it does, I'll just switch fingers.

I'm embarrassed to tell you how much it costs. I love it. And I'm going to wear

it every day.

You really like it?

Well, I really like you.

Mom!

Yes?

Excuse us, please, little girl.

It's to you.

King of hearts.

That's the first good card you've thrown tonight, Homer. Me?

You haven't thrown a good card all night.

That's because I've been trying to set you up.

Defension in the ranks.

Oh, and I love it. It's my play, I believe.

Bap!

Son, do you always have to say bap?

I'm sorry, Dad.

It is yours, Heathcliff. Yes, thank you, lad.

Does there still exist in Pinnacle a tradition in which the taking of each

every trick results in the rubbing of the opponent's head?

I believe so.

But first you have to win all the tricks.

Well, it seems there's only one trick left to be had.

Dad, in all the years, I have never rubbed your head.

You realize that, don't you?

And so...

Dr. Foster, we know you've got the AIDS.

Well, it's a possibility.

Well, before I lay down my final card, I am reminded of the immortal words of

Hamlet. Aye, there's the rub.

The first rub.

Thank you.

The rubbing of the head. The rubbing of the head. I hold the dairy of the

rubbing of the head.

A goodsy, goodsy, goodsy.

This is a stupid tradition.

just remember i am

me for, son.

Am I?

Mm -hmm.

Because I'm letting you eat the winner's ice cream with me.

Well, I have to admit, son, that you played a very good game tonight, but I

find it a little strange that Dr. Foster just happened to show up here the night

we were playing Pinochle. Dad, I did not know the man could play that well.

And it is awfully coincidental that your partner Chuck got sick tonight. In

fact, the next time we play, I want to see a note from Chuck's doctor.

Now, tell me how it was.

It was nice.

Yeah? Yeah. And did you give her the present? Yes, I did. All right. What

present? I gave Tanya a ring.

I'm very happy you're dating.

It's a special time in a young man's life. But, um, you know, there's certain

things you should know about.

Grandpa, Dad and I already had a talk.

You and Theo had the...

Talk. The talk.

Did he mention the part about being a gentleman?

Several times.

I gave him the same talk that you gave me, your father gave you.

Did you listen?

Yes, Grandpa.

Good.

And I promised to be as much of a gentleman as Dad was at my age.

I think I better give him the talk again.

The Cosby Show is taped in front of a live studio audience.