Original subtitles

good for it. You promised me you were going to pay me back today.

The day's not over, is it? What are you two doing? Theo owes me five dollars.

You too.

Look, Vanessa, I don't owe you five dollars.

I owe you three.

You know, lately I've been hearing you owe, and at the front and the back of

I hear the name Theo.

You owe everybody.

I don't owe everybody.

You owe me a quarter.

I'm good for it. When?

Oh, I'll tell you when. Never.

All right.

I'm going to pay you.

Dad, can I have an advance on my allowance?

Son, you're already backed up to your 50th birthday.

Theo, you're developing some very bad habits with your finances, son. What are

you going to do when you get out into the real world?

If you owe people money, they are not going to be so understanding.

Yeah, Theo, a bank's not going to listen to your excuses.

Your mother and your sister are absolutely correct.

You see, we're your family. We love you. We let you borrow money even though

you're not qualified to pay it back.

If you get out in the real world, it's going to be different.

But when I get in the real world, I'll do just fine, because I'm going to have

lot of money.

I hope you're not waiting for me to die.

No, I'm going to earn it. How?

I'm going to be a model.

How about my quarter now?

I'm serious.

Now, I've seen those guys in magazines. I can look just as good as they do.

Great thing about it, I can start modeling when I'm 18.

You think you'll be ready to go out on your own when you're 18?

Definitely. As a model, I'll be making the big money.

Yes. But before you make the big money, you'll be making maybe TV

money.

With very little money, you're going to have to get an apartment. You're going

to have to get all the things you need.

When the time comes, I'll be ready.

I like your confidence.

Hey, Dad, I know what I'm doing. Really? Yeah. I'm going to have a new car, nice

clothes, and a great apartment. Well, you make it sound easy.

It will be.

See you guys tomorrow.

Where are you going?

I'm spending the night at Cockroach's house. What time will you be back?

Around 10.

Okay. Bye.

Are you all going to be here around 10 tomorrow morning?

Yeah. Good.

Because I'm going to surprise Mr.

Theo. Tomorrow when he comes here, this house will be the real world.

Hey, Vanessa.

I'm not Vanessa.

What? My name's Margo Farnsworth.

What are you talking about?

Well, I'm Margo Farnsworth. I have an apartment in this building.

Whatever you say, Margo.

Oh, wait, wait, wait. I know who you are. The landlord said that a young man

who's 18 and on his own is coming by to rent an apartment.

Huh? A young man who's 18 and on his own and wants to be a model.

Oh, okay. I get it. You're pretending I'm 18, I'm a model, and I'm on my own?

I'm not pretending.

You want to rent an apartment, don't you?

Fine, okay.

I'll rent an apartment.

The landlord said to just go up and ring the bell.

The landlord?

Yeah, all apartment buildings have landlords, don't they?

Right, Vanessa.

Who is Vanessa?

Never mind.

Hey, Dad, how you doing? Who?

Oh, I'm sorry. I mean, Mr. Landlord.

My name is Harley.

Harley.

My name is Theodore Huxtable.

Huxtable, yes.

Your folks were by here. Very nice people.

Had to give you this.

There you go.

Dear Theo, here's $2 ,000 to get started. Good luck. We love you very

and Dad.

Beautiful people.

This is play money.

It's good here.

Great. With two grand in my pocket, I'll be set.

All right. Well, we want to welcome you to the Real World Department.

Take a look at this. As you can see, the woodwork here is all hand done. Hi,

Millie. Hi, Harley.

How's everything?

Millie? Yes, that's Millie Farquhar. She runs the Chuckwagon restaurant.

Howdy.

You need to come on over here and get yourself some grub.

We're located right off the lobby. We're open 24 hours.

Good one, Bob.

I'm sorry, I mean Mrs. Farquhar. Look forward to seeing you real soon.

Now, we have a few rules here at the real -world apartments.

Okay. Rent is due on the first of the month, no exception.

No problem.

No loud music played after 10 p .m. Got it. And no children.

Definitely. All right, let's go see the apartment.

Whoop! Here comes Mrs.

Griswold.

bunch of drinks. How'd it go?

I was good.

There you go.

My room.

What'd you do to my room?

I don't know what you're talking about. This is an unfurnished apartment.

You've destroyed my room. I haven't destroyed anything.

This is the way it looked when the last tenant left.

Okay, okay, okay. I'm furnished. I got it. How much is it?

$600 a month.

For one room?

Well, that's what they get nowadays.

See, your timing is bad.

Had you tried to move in here in 1942, you could have gotten a whole house for

$250.

Okay, I'll take it.

Now, wait a minute. How old are you?

Dad, you know how old I...

Oh, I mean, I'm 18, Mr. Wee Wax. 18?

I'm sorry you can't have it. 18 -year -old people, they party too much. Did I

say 18? Yeah. I mean, I meant I've been on my own since I was 18. I'm actually

23. That's fine.

Okay.

Now, I will need first and last month's rent.

Why? Well, that's because in case you start to skip out of here early, I got

you. That's $1 ,200.

I need another $600 security deposit because of any damages.

That's $1 ,800.

You add like a 23 -year -old.

Okay, I'm going to have to take it. Well, I can't take it just yet. I need

references.

References? Someone to vouch for your character, like your employer. You do

a job, don't you?

No, but I'm getting one. I'm a model.

Well, I need some proof that you're going to be able to pay the rent.

I'll pay you, I promise.

I cannot feed my family on a promise.

Now, you do have an agent. Somebody can give me a letter saying that you have a

steady income.

No, but where can I get a letter like that?

You're in luck.

Downstairs, there is a modeling agency.

You go down there and check in.

Thank you.

All right.

Now, look, you better hurry because this apartment will go quickly.

Vanessa. Welcome to the Firestone Modeling Agency.

This is the modeling agency?

Yes, it is. I'm the receptionist, Kitty LaRue.

Wait, I thought you were Margo Farnsworth.

Oh, you must be mistaking me for someone else. You got an appointment, honey.

No, but Mr. Harley, we waxed at me. I'm a model, and I need an agent.

Well, we're always looking for new faces. I'll ask Ms. Firestone if she'll

you. Ms.

Firestone.

Yes, Kitty.

That gentleman over there needs an agent.

How does he look?

Not bad.

Send him in.

Okay. Mrs. Firestone will see you right over there.

Hello, Mrs. Firestone.

Do you have any experience?

No, but I look good.

I'll be the judge of that.

Now, um, you're doing a layout for a new man's cologne.

You're, uh...

Sports car, very masculine. Let me see that.

Not bad. Now, give me the look of someone who just won a $10 million

sweepstakes.

Nice. Now, let me see a new father who's holding his baby boy for the very first

time.

Let me see your pictures.

Pictures? Yes, pictures. Pictures of you in different looks. Pictures of you in

different clothes.

I don't have any of those.

No, you don't have pictures? You're not going to get work without pictures.

You're going to have to get a good photographer and get a whole set of

done. That's going to cost you $800 to $1 ,200.

Oh, wait, could you do me a favor?

What? I'm trying to get an apartment, so could you just write a letter stating

I'm working as a model?

No, that would be dishonest, wouldn't it?

Excuse me, I've got to go call Paris.

To get a reference, I'll be right back. Hold that apartment.

Well, I don't know where you went.

You are doing great, Rudy.

Who's Rudy?

I'm sorry, I mean Mrs.

Griswold. No problem, Harley.

Man, there's nothing in here. Where'd they put your stuff? I don't know.

They're going all out for this.

I know, and that's why you've got to be good. Hey, you've got nothing to worry

about. All right.

Mrs. Griswold told me you were up here.

Hi, Mr. Wewax. I'm Horton W. Dansbury.

You see, instead of a letter, I decided you'd be my employer.

This is your employer?

Yes. What kind of business are you in?

I'm in oil.

Oil? Yes, let me give you one of my cards.

Cockroach oil?

I thought you told me you were a model.

I'm the spokesman for Cockroach Oil.

Yeah, see, let me tell you something, Mr. Rewax, about this man. He's

responsible, dependable, hardworking.

In fact, he's the reason why Cockroach Oil is what it is today.

Congratulations, Mr.

Huxtable. You have the apartment.

All right!

I did it, Dad.

Who?

Come on, Dad. Isn't this what it was all about? Me getting the apartment by

myself? I proved to you I can do it, so let's get my furniture back in here.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Okay, hold it. Time out, time out. I need my dad. Could you find him for me?

I'll see if he's in.

Thank you.

Who's playing your dad?

My dad.

Son, Mr. Wewax told me you wouldn't see me.

Dad, how much longer is this going to go on?

Well, the real world stops for no man but for you 24 hours.

24 hours? What am I supposed to do? What people do in the real world. You're

supposed to get a bed, you get some sheets, pillowcases, you turn on the

turn on the electricity, get some furniture.

Where would I get that from?

You have to ask Mr. Wewax.

Could you get them for me?

I'll see if I can find them.

This is fun.

This is fun. That's because it's not happening to you.

All right, sir. That's a lovely man.

Now, you need some furniture, I understand.

Yeah, would you happen to know where I can get some? Furniture? Of course. You

are lucky today, because just off of Millie's Restaurant is the finest

store with stuff you like, because I think so.

That's good.

Mom.

This is amazing. You know, I wish we did this kind of stuff at my house.

cleans you out.

Millie owns the furniture store?

That's not Millie, that's Amanda.

Hey, Hodge. How you doing, Amanda? I brought you some customers.

Well, send them over.

Going over, boys.

Gentlemen, welcome to Amanda's Furniture City, where money talks and nobody

walks. If you like it, you touch it. If you break it, you buy it. If you don't

see it, we don't have it, but we will get it. Now, what can I do for you?

That's funny. That's funny.

$150 for my stereo?

Well, darling, it's not yours yet, but I tell you what, because I like your

face, for $135, you can walk out with it.

That's a lot of money.

I only have $200 to furnish my whole apartment.

Well, uh, does your friend have any money?

Mm -mm. Nope.

You better get yourself another friend.

$200?

That's for both beds.

Oh, well, can I buy just one?

Oh, no, darling. I can't break the set.

Well, why not?

They get lonely, okay?

Everything's so expensive.

What do I do?

Honey, did you come here for advice or for furniture? Now, look, time is money.

What you have got to do is figure out exactly what it is that you need. I need

it all.

Yes, but you are not going to get it for $200. But you are in luck, because

here... at Furniture City, we accept all major credit cards.

I don't have any credit cards.

You are in luck, because here at Furniture City, we accept personal

I don't have any personal checks.

Then you are about to leave Furniture City.

Mom. That's Amanda.

Cockroach? That's Mr. Dansberry to you.

Let's continue.

What you need to do is go to the bank and get yourself a loan.

Okay, where's the bank? Oh, it's very easy to find. You go right through

Millie's Restaurant and make a left turn.

I can't wait to meet the banker.

You know, Theo, this would be great for career day. Knock it off, cockroach.

Hi, boy. Hey, Denise.

Wait a minute.

She's not Denise.

Yes, I am.

You are?

Good. Hey, Theo, I'm starving. Before we go to the bank, can we get something to

eat? Sure.

Want to get this someplace?

Yeah, thanks.

All right.

Here we go.

What you got there?

We got some chicken.

This one's a carrot salad, and the other one's tuna.

You want some sodas? Yeah.

Comes at $24 .50.

Wait a minute. What is this?

You're eating in Millie's restaurant. That's what it is.

I thought you were Denise.

I am Denise Farquhar, Millie's daughter, and I'll pay up.

That's a good one. That's a good one.

Put that chicken down to the down.

But I'm hungry.

You got the money to pay for that? No, but you got enough.

Cockroach. I can't spend as much on one meal.

furniture. I have to get utilities.

My phone.

Cockroach, I want a budget.

All right. Please, how much for one of these apples? A dollar. All right, we'll

take two.

We'll take one.

And split it.

Well, there's a 50 cents charge for splitting. That comes to $1 .50 without

of course. Okay, fine.

Here you go. Keep the change.

Cockroach? She's nice.

Hope to see y 'all real soon.

Not at these prices, you won't.

You know, Theo, we could eat at my house. It's free.

No. They started this. I'm going to finish it.

Now, here are the questions I want you to ask Theo. Just go right down this

checklist. Okay.

Here they come.

Would you two please wait a minute while I finish with this nice couple over

here? Just be cool. Just be cool.

Well, your loan application seems to be in perfect order.

Looks good.

I'm going to recommend approval.

I'm so happy.

Now we'll be able to buy our dream home.

And start planning our family.

What we have to do is get this loan approved by the president of our bank,

Griswold. Excuse me. Mrs.

Griswold? Oh, man.

Mrs. Griswold.

Yes?

Would you please look at this application and tell me what you think?

Thank you, Mrs. Griswold.

You're welcome.

Now comes the good part.

Congratulations.

Thank you so much. I knew we came to the right bank.

I'm so glad we came to this bank. Now we can start planning our future.

And the family. Oh, thank you.

Thank you so much for all your help.

And Mrs. Griswold.

Thank you. You're welcome.

And if you need any more money, call us.

I think that's a little bit... Next.

Dad, I can't play with Vanessa.

Come on, man. Next.

So, who are you now?

I'm Mrs. Covington, vice president of this bank. Please don't eat those apples

in my office. And what may I do for you?

You can't do a thing for me. Let me handle this.

This gentleman here works for me. I'm the president and owner of Cockroach

I see. And where is this Cockroach Oil located?

Our headquarters are located on the top floor of the Cockroach Oil building.

It's a 49 -story building.

Any address?

891 East 54th Street.

May I have your phone number? I need to confirm this information.

We don't have a phone.

You own a 49 -story building, and you don't own a phone.

What do you mean you don't own a phone? Hey, man, she called me off guard.

It's Ernie Vanessa.

She's the vice president of the bank.

Forget him.

Look, I need a loan. I have to get furniture. I have to get pictures from a

modeling agency.

Well, just how much money do you need?

About $2 ,500.

Well, have you taken out a loan before?

No. Well, this doesn't look good for you, Mr. Huxtable. You have no credit

history. Your boss does not own a phone.

But I need the money. I'll pay it back. I promise.

Well, I do like to give young people just starting out a break.

I'll recommend approval for your loan.

All right.

Ms. Griswold.

Oh, no.

Ms. Griswold, could you come here for a moment, please?

What do you want? I'm busy.

This young man needs to... and I do recommend we give it to him. No.

But Mrs.

Griswold... No.

Why not?

You have nothing.

Look, once you have some money, you get a job, come back, and I'll be glad to

give you your loan. But I won't need the loan by then.

Look, are there any other banks in this building?

Yes, but they're all owned by Mrs. Griswold.

Come in.

Hi, Mr. Wee Wax. Amanda.

No, son, it's Mom and Dad. Don't you recognize us?

I don't know who anybody is anymore.

I don't even know who I am.

Don't you have electricity?

Not yet. I had to rent these from Cockroach. And I bought my stereo before

knew I had to put a $50 deposit to get my utilities turned on.

And I found out the electric company is owned by Mrs. Griswold.

I happen to be a personal friend of Mrs.

Griswold's, so there you go.

Thanks, Dad.

Theo, your father and I brought you something to eat.

Great.

Mind if we join you?

All right, a bacon burger, dog.

So, how did you like the real world?

Well, it's a lot tougher than I thought it was.

But you know what?

So am I.

Good for you.

Nice place you have here.

I could use a chair and a bed and a few clothes, but other than that, I've got

everything I need.

You know, that's very, very strange.

With your money, you have everything that you need.

With our money, you want to live like the rich and famous.

I never thought about it that way. Well, I guess you learned an important lesson

today, didn't you? Yeah, I did.

I learned that when I go out into the real world, I don't want to do business

with anyone in my family.

The Cosby Show is taped in front of a live studio audience.