Original subtitles

Hi, Cliff.

Do you mind if I borrow your sweatshirt? You have it on.

Thank you.

You know, ever since you started these pottery classes, you've gone through

every one of my sweatshirts.

Well, I like wearing them. They're comfortable, and they remind me of you.

Look at me when you lie.

You just wear mine because you don't want to dirty up your own.

Well, that's another good reason.

It's not fair. You can wear my sweatshirts, my sweatpants, my hats, my

I can't wear anything of yours.

Well, darling, that's because all your curves are in the wrong places. Uh -huh.

No, don't even kiss me.

Oh, come on, now. Don't even try. You say things like that, and then you want

kiss somebody. No.

No.

I'm sorry. First you say you want to kiss somebody, then you say, I'm sorry,

try to add that. I don't want to kiss you, no, I'm sorry.

Well, if I can't say I'm sorry and if I can't kiss you, what can I do?

You can give me back my sweatshirt.

It's not worth it. Yeah.

Listen, where's the anchovy paste?

It's in the bottom of the refrigerator. Why?

Because I'm going to put it on the pate.

You're making pate for me?

No, I'm making it for Dr. Morgan, who is coming over to talk about the hospital

fundraiser. Oh, I hope it's another carnival like last year. I really

that. Well, I didn't.

Cliff, you were a hit.

No, no, I was not a hit. I had to sit in that dunking booth.

I know.

I'm not sitting in it anymore.

Why? It was so much fun.

Fun? For me?

Sitting in that chair, watching people hit the thing, and I fall six feet into

that cold, nasty, dirty water?

And watching my wife stand there just sitting, come here, knock my husband

that Denise has ever dated came with pocketfuls of money to him.

Hey.

What's that?

Paté. Can I have some?

You won't like it. Yes, I will.

Well, it's made out of liver. I don't like liver.

And it has ground -up worm's eyes.

I have sauteed chicken's toes.

I like sauteed chicken toes.

Okay. So, you want some?

Yes.

You can't have any because they're for Dr. Morgan. He's coming over to talk

about the spring fundraiser.

Don't, Daddy! No, don't, Daddy!

Dad, have you seen a blue folder?

No. This is terrible.

Well, wait a minute. What was in it? Probably the best history paper ever.

written. Seven pages, typed perfectly, 855 words, three weeks of my life, and

I lost it. Okay, stop. Now think. Did you take the papers out of the house?

Then it has to be in the house somewhere.

But where?

All right, just sit there and think calmly and thoroughly, and you'll find

I'll help. No, thank you. It's not a bad idea, because she is fantastic at

finding things that don't belong to her.

Trust me.

Now go upstairs, take her with you, get a piece of your typing paper, let her

sniff it, and then turn her loose.

time outside yeah is it the glare of the moon that's bothering you

we bought these for a homework assignment ah okay so you guys want to

while you're doing your homework oh no we have to do a presentation for speech

class and we decided we would do a rap a rap a rap you mean like hey my name is

cliff and i'm a doctor and i will sit and

What's that mean?

Okay. Okay, all right. Wait, pate.

How don't you touch the... This is for the guests. All right. No,

no, you are not a guest. Never happened.

Never happened. Now, all right.

There's the doctor coming now.

Who said anything about a dunk? No, it's in your eyes. I can see it in your

eyes.

No, I don't want to talk about anything that has to do with baseballs or falling

in the water. I just came over to talk about the fundraiser. Hey, Dr. Morgan.

How you doing? Pretty good. Have you ever met Cockroach?

No, I would have definitely remembered that.

How you doing?

Hey, yo.

Is that a mustache on your top lip?

Yes, it is.

Is it yours?

Yes, it is.

Does your daddy know about it? Yes, he does.

My dad knows about mine, too, only he noticed it a lot sooner than Dr.

noticed Phil's. You wish.

Dad, when was the first time you noticed my mustache?

When Dr.

Morgan said you had it.

What grade are you guys in now?

10th. Oh.

Thought about where you're going to go to college? Well, we don't graduate for

another two years now. Uh -huh.

You're going to Morehouse College in Atlanta, Georgia.

We are? Sure. It's a good school. I went there.

You'll love it. Wait, wait, wait.

What? My son is going to make up his own mind about college.

Dad says I have to go to Hillman.

I'll tell you what.

Your dad and I will take a weekend off, right?

Friday and Saturday, we'll go to Morehouse.

Then on our way back, we'll drive past Hillman.

May I? Oh, please do.

That's pate.

Uh -huh. They serve that every day at Hillman.

More house, they give you peanut butter.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Why don't you fellas take that up?

right, thank you. Don't spill it on the rug, please.

Don't worry, Dad. This will be eaten before we get to my room.

You guys take it easy. All right. All right, Cliff.

Let's get down to the business of this fundraiser. Good. All right.

Here's what I was thinking about.

I think we should have a banquet.

That way people can put on... No, Cliff, they did that five years ago. It didn't

make much money. Okay, fine. I know that an auction will. See, we get the big

corporations... Cliff, Cliff, see, see. We did that six years ago. It did worse

than the banquet. But the economy was down then. Yes.

It's up now.

Understand? To be totally honest with you, the best we've ever done was last

year's carnival.

Listen, listen to these figures. See, at Morehouse, they taught us how to make a

profit.

Concessions, $500.

Ride, $900.

Dunking booth, $28 ,000.

Okay, you can have the carnival. Good. You can have the dunking booth. Yeah.

do I have to sit in it?

Because the kids loved the way you yelled when you fell and acted like you

really mad.

Acted? I was not acting.

Stop laughing at me. I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing with you. Yeah. Hi.

How are you doing, Dan? Hi, Cliff.

Oh. Hi, Denise.

I talked to Morgan. Hey, how's Cindy? I haven't seen her in a really long time.

She's fine. Yeah? How was class?

Oh, today.

Today wasn't bad. These two are taking pottery class together.

Mom, why don't you go ahead and show Dan what you made?

I happen to be very proud of what I made.

I will show your father what I made when I'm ready for him to see it. Why don't

you show him what you made?

Dr.

Morgan and I are getting very old sitting here. Okay, we'll show them

We'll sit together. On the count of three.

No, that's not true at all.

One of them definitely is not.

Now, I'm not naming any names.

Mom.

When you first try it, I think it's really good.

I think so, too, Claire.

Why don't we set it at the kitchen counter?

Really? Yeah, that way someone will put something in it and then we'll know what

it is.

The only reason you wanted us to take this class was so you could make fun? of

me. Oh, Mom, I'm sorry that you do everything so great. It's just nice to

you mess up.

You're going to get it, little girl.

I'm going to make some tea. Dan, you want some? Love it. Hey, how about a cup

for me?

Don't get mad at me. I'm just telling the truth about this.

Well, you cannot tell the truth and be my friend.

Mom, I'm sorry I laughed at you.

No, you're not. I know.

Oh, wait, wait, wait. Don't leave this one in here. You're frightening the

guests.

You know what would be a good idea, man?

How about if we put Claire in the booth?

You okay?

Look, Cliff, I really got to be going.

You just hold on to this.

Dan, you just got here. I know, but... Cliff.

You got a beautiful family.

Yeah?

Don't ever take it for granted.

I feel so stupid.

A Morehouse man's supposed to feel stupid.

Cliff, I didn't want to come over here and talk about this.

Well, you haven't said anything yet, then. No, it's just that when I saw

and Denise together like that, it made me think of Cindy and her mom. What's

wrong with them?

Sarah's fine.

Okay, good.

No problem.

It's Cindy.

What's wrong with Cindy?

Cocaine. Alcohol.

You're kidding me.

We just put her back into a rehab center.

It's the third one she's been in in a year and a half.

You see, when Sarah and I first found out that she had this problem, we sat

down, we talked to her. Yeah.

We told her that we loved her very much.

And they would do anything to help her.

See, she said she wanted help.

So we sent her to the counselor.

She went alone.

Sarah and I went with her.

She just wasn't getting better, you know. So we found the best

rehabilitation center in the city.

It worked.

When she got out, it was like Sarah and I had our little baby again.

About three or four weeks, everything was fine.

Then she disappeared.

Three days, she was gone.

Sarah and I were going crazy. The police couldn't even find her.

And then in the middle of the night, I got a phone call.

Daddy, please, can I come home?

Come get me.

She was living with a boy I didn't even know.

A filthy apartment.

I found her curled up on a mattress in the corner of the

room.

When I picked her up, she went limp in my arms.

Just like when she was a little baby.

She'd fall asleep in front of the TV and I'd take her up to bed.

Well, we... We put her back into the rehab center.

This time when she got out, she said to me, Daddy, I'm gonna make it this time.

Everything's gonna be fine.

For a couple of months, everything was fine.

And money started disappearing from Sarah's purse.

I started seeing changes in Cindy.

Physically, she wasn't right.

I mean, did she think we were so stupid that we couldn't see these things?

I want to know how did it get into my house?

What was she doing with it?

Sneaking out in the middle of the night.

Sarah and I both going day by day, not knowing if she's alive or dead.

Oh, Cliff.

This is killing me.

It's killing a mother.

And it's ripping my family apart.

And I just want to know, what did you do?

How did you keep it from your kids?

I don't know.

I know that Claire and I do the same thing that you and Sarah have done.

It's just luck.

It sounds like you and Sarah have done all you can.

It's up to Cindy now. Does she know she's tearing up the family? You want me

talk to her? No, Cliff. I've had people she respects talk to her. I beg your

pardon. I don't mean it that way. I mean people that she loves and that she

knows have sat down with her one -on -one.

It hasn't made any difference yet.

Maybe this time Cindy will do it.

There's nothing more I can say.

Me too.

Well, that's about the first time a Morehouse man has had nothing to say.

Or came to a human man for advice.

Come on.

There you

are.

But now your tea is cold. Oh.

Claire, look, I'm sorry.

I was downstairs bending Cliff's head. Oh, that's all right. I can warm it up.

Oh, no, no, no, no, thank you. Listen, I really got to be going. So soon? Yeah,

yeah. Listen, it was good to see you. Good to see you, too. Okay.

You tell Sarah I said hello? I will. Okay.

Okay, now, anything you need, you understand? Claire and I are available.

All right?

Thank you, buddy. All right.

Hey, Kate. All right. Here, Dan.

I'll feed that.

What was that all about?

It's all about how lucky we are.

What are you talking about?

I will tell you, my dear, sometime when we're both very, very happy.

Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad. Hey, Mr. Huxley. Hey.

Hello, Walter.

You've finished your homework?

Yep. We're finished.

Already? Hey, we're fast.

Mom, we're writing a rap for speech class.

Want to hear it? Sure.

It's kind of rough, but you'll get the idea.

Life's a game. And once you hear us... You won't be the same. Because we're

flying high. Up in the sky. We like deluxe burgers and not small fries. Now

know we're bad. And you know we're... Hold it, hold it, hold it. We're not

finished yet, Dad. We're not finished yet. Can't you have some fun talking

something productive?

You know, I don't want to take away your fun.

Studying can be fun. You know, challenging yourself can be fun. You're

about that.

Dad, that means we have to write the rap all over again.

Really?

Well, I don't think that'll be the first time you ever had to start over again.

Okay, come on, cockroach.

See, I told you we should have done this at my house.

It's a used tea bag holder.

Denise, that's not funny. I'm serious. You know when you make yourself a cup of

tea, but you never know what to do with the tea bag? Let me tell you something,

little miss know -it -all. This piece of whatever this is that you made, all

right, it's okay.

Granted, it's craft.

I look at that thing and I know exactly what it is. But this, my dear, is high

art.

It challenges you. You have to bring something of yourself to this.

Then bring me a teabag.

I'll get it.

Come here.

Hey, don't fight with my clothes on, please.

This child is making fun of my art.

Well, you're provoking it, dear.

I've had enough of you two.

Well, then don't make anything else like that again.

I'm taking this someplace where it will be appreciated. Oh, yeah?

Mm -hmm.

I've had it with you.

I've had it with you.

What are you laughing at? No, I was just laughing. I'm just laughing, you know.

I'm doomed.

Why does this kind of thing always have to happen to me? You didn't find your

paper. I looked everywhere.

You did?

And Rudy was no help? She found your fountain pen. Good.

A keychain, a pair of chopsticks, your gold earrings. Great.

And three dollars in change.

That's mine.

Dead after tomorrow, I'll have to drop out of school.

Okay, Vanessa, why don't we retrace our steps, all right?

Now, the last time you remember having it, where were you?

In the kitchen. I came downstairs and I had it in this hand. In this hand. Came

downstairs. Where did you go?

I called Janet.

Oh, that sounds logical.

All right. So you called Janet, right? Talking on the phone. Hello, he said,

said, what did she say?

And I didn't do that. No, that's not right. And he said, she said.

Dad. No, no, I'm serious. You got to say it and we said. Now, what did you do

next?

Well, I got hungry.

Got hungry. So you hung up the phone.

No. Huh?

No.

I got some potato chips. Potato chips back here. So what? No, call me back.

tell him who said, we said, we said, we're going to go say, say, say, and get

the potato chips, right? Potato chips and the paper, right? I got thirsty.

Thirsty? All right, so. Got a glass.

Got a glass, got a glass. He said, yes, please, said, and we said, oh, you're

kidding. Well, I didn't say that. Then I got a soda out of the refrigerator and

poured it in the glass. He said, we said, you said, and everybody said,

said, right?

So take that out. It wasn't cold enough. It wasn't cold enough. So I got some

ice out of it. Get some ice out of the freezer. All right. So we go in the

freezer, and this is what we have here.

You want me to put it in the oven and thaw it out for you? No!

It was in the freezer.

Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Dad.

How's it going, boys?

We're finished.

And if you ask me, I think we did pretty well.

I think we should be the judges of that.

Okay. Come on. Come on. All right.

You ready? Mm -hmm.

This rap was written by The Road and Theo. So, Mom and Dad, here we go.

This is your life to do something with. Don't be too scared to compete.

Don't stand around and keep losing ground or you'll end up on the street.

You gotta do something with your life. Don't be too scared to try.

Don't develop a frown. Just stand around until life just passes you by. Hey, and

when you do wake up and begin to see that life ain't a piece of cake.

Whether you win real big or lose real bad, you gotta sleep in the bed you

Cause this is your life. Do something with it. Don't be too scared to be

Don't stand around and keep losing ground or you end up on your feet. Hey,

gotta keep burning that midnight oil. Cause that's a fact that still remains.

Hey boy, you gotta study hard. You gotta study long. You gotta exercise your

brains. This is your life to do something with. Don't be too scared to

Don't stand around and keep losing.

Or you end up on the street. Or you end up on the street.

Or you end up on the street.

The Cosby Show is taped in front of a live studio audience.