Original subtitles

Vanessa? Vanessa, honey, go on, get in your own bed now.

Vanessa, I left $5 under your pillow.

Hi. Hey, how you doing?

What time is it?

5 .15.

Oh, goodness, you must be tired.

Yes, I am, but not tired enough to sleep on top of my child.

I said it was okay till you came home from the hospital. But now, honey,

home.

Hi,

Dad. Hi, boy. Okay, you all come on. Hi, Daddy.

Hi, dear.

Come on. Time to go back to your bed. Bye -bye.

Do we have to?

Yes, you have to, dear.

Bye -bye.

Here you go.

That's it. Just keep on going. Dad? Mm -hmm?

Is there really five dollars in my pillow?

Oh, no.

I knew it. Yeah, I'm sorry.

There you go, dear.

Vanessa, pick her up.

I am going to do some serious sleeping

tonight.

I don't blame you. You've had deliveries four nights in a row.

And I'm telling you, tonight was the worst, dear.

I finished one, get all washed up, get ready to come home.

car would pull up one poor man pulled up and didn't have his wife in it

he had to drive all

the way back then a woman came walking in on her own said she couldn't wait for

her husband he had passed out in the middle of the freeway with the car so

both of them started

a good sleep yeah honey today is saturday you can sleep as late as you

better believe it i'm going to get into that bed and i'm going to sleep until my

eyes just pop open and then i'm going to wait five minutes and i'm going to

the sleep bank and i'm going to make another withdrawal and i'm going to

some more then i'm going to get up and take my newspaper and find a nice quiet

room and just sit there and read my paper in peace, I tell

you. Sounds like a good idea.

Cliff? Yeah?

Did you lock the door?

Yeah, I locked the door.

You sure?

Yes, I'm sure.

What about the light?

Yeah, I locked the lights too, dear.

Cliff?

Are you sure you locked the door?

Not only did I lock the door, but I shoved the furniture up against it, too,

dear.

Honey, I'm only asking because at that time you were so sure you had locked the

door and you didn't.

Dear, that was 15 years ago. And where are you going?

I'm going to get something to drink. No, no, no. I'll get you something to

drink. You just want to go downstairs and see if I have everything locked up,

that's all.

I will get the drink for you, dear. You want milk?

Yes, I want some milk. I'll get some milk for you. All right, thank you.

And Cliff, while you're down there, double -check the lock on the door.

You know, you could be bossy if you wanted to.

One last chance to forget about this.

Cockroach, when we go in there with some good light, you're going to be

humiliated. You wish.

Okay, if you say so.

Check out this mustache.

Hey, I can't even see it. Well, Cockroach, I can't see yours.

Yeah, well, then how come Tracy Darnell is going out with me tonight?

Because she knows you're double dating with me.

She's using you to look at my mustache.

Yeah, well, she better bring a magnifying glass.

Hey, Dad. Hey.

Listen, listen, listen.

Theo, Walter.

You know, looking at the two of you, I've noticed something about you is more

manly.

Thanks.

Really? One of us more than the other? No, no, no. It's equal masculinity.

Thanks, Dad.

You're welcome. He only said that because you're his son.

Hey, he was talking about my mustache and your feet.

Hey,

Dad. Hey, Dr. Oxford.

Why do you have him on two radios? Oh.

It gives a richer sound, Dr. Huxtable.

See, if you position them just right, they get truer tonality.

It's like you're there.

But you don't have to take me with you, do you?

I'm sorry.

Where's Mom?

Well, she had to leave for the office for a while.

Does your father always sleep this late?

Well, he's been working a lot of nights this week.

You know, it might be more than that. He might be in a low energy cycle.

A low energy cycle?

Yeah. You know, you should go and get your biorhythms checked.

Mm -hmm. Robert and I did. We were in Latham's department store, and there was

this man outside in the booth. Booth. Mm -hmm. And Robert and I gave him our

astrological signs, time of birth, and favorite colors.

And what else?

$2 a piece.

Oh, I promised Vanessa I'd pay her back.

Really? Mm -hmm. You're on a low -cash cycle?

That's a good one, that guy.

Yeah, well, thank you.

This guy, he spent all this... information into a computer, and a few

later, we got these charts. And they prove what we thought all along.

Vanessa and I are right for each other.

Look at these, Dad.

They show the different peaks and valleys in different areas of your life.

Now, right now, Robert and I are peaking on ambition and peaking on romance.

And we both valley on jealousy and power.

It's amazing.

We're organically and cosmically in total sync.

Well, I'm happy for you.

You know, you and Mrs. Huxtable should go down to the biorhythm booth and get

your charts made.

I'd be glad to sit here with both of you and help you read them.

Robert, it sounds like you are peaking on generosity.

Yes. Yes, and I am organically and cosmically in sync with what is coming

your face.

Hey, Daddy.

Hi, hon. Hi.

Daddy, I'd like you to meet Eddie LaCroix.

Eddie, how are you? Hi, Doctor.

Have a sit down.

See, you're watching the old music station.

You're into reggae, huh?

Yeah.

Yes, okay, nice to see you. You too, sir. Hi, honey.

Don't pay me any money. I just came down here to find a nice, quiet place to

read my paper, that's all.

Sandra,

would you please pass me the marker?

Thank you.

Would you like it back, Sandra? No, Elvin, I would not like it back.

Dr. Huxtable, you might as well know Sandra is upset with me.

Again.

Daddy, you know how Elvin is always late?

Yeah, and how you always get angry with him when he's late.

Well, today I decided to teach him a lesson. I intentionally picked him up

hours late just so that he would know how it feels. And you know what? He

get mad at all. When she was late, I assumed that she had a good reason. But,

Elvin, I told you that I was late for no reason at all, and you still didn't get

mad. Well, I was just glad that you were okay.

But you never get mad.

Daddy... This is the thing that threatens our relationship the most.

out of touch with his anger.

I'm afraid Sandra's right, Dr. Huxtable.

I've never gotten angry in my life.

However, people do tend to get very angry with me.

Elvin, your inability to express your anger is in itself a form of hostility.

Daddy, he is a classic passive -aggressive. You're right.

Aggressive. I'm sure you had a good reason.

You know, Dr. Huxtable, if I

could just get angry, this wouldn't happen.

Daddy, I'm really sorry to get you involved in this. No, no, it's quite all

right. You're probably peaking on anger in your biorhythms.

Whatever you're trying to work out, eventually you will.

Thanks, Dr. Huxtable.

Sandra, do you care enough about me to try to work it out?

No, Elvin, I don't.

Okay, I understand.

Elvin, I didn't mean that.

I care about you a great deal. I just said that to try and make you mad.

Oh.

Now, Elvin, we're going to have to work on this.

Are you going to work on this right now? Oh, yes, Daddy. It's important to

examine these emotions while we're in the moment. Okay, honey. All right,

Elvin, you can straighten all this up for $2.

Aren't you supposed to have permission to sit up here and watch TV?

Mommy said we could.

She did?

Yeah. She said if we were very quiet while you were asleep, when you got out,

could watch TV in here. You slept a long time.

Want to watch cartoons with us?

No, thank you.

It's me.

How do I know it isn't one of my children imitating my wife's voice?

It's me.

If it is you, then where did we eat the night you graduated from

law school?

Michael and Ennio's. Wrong!

It was Mariani's.

It was not! Okay, okay, okay. How could you forget something like that? No, I

didn't forget.

Don't put me in the headlock.

When I called from the office and found out how many people were here, I decided

to stop for pizza. Yes. And when I got home and I couldn't find you anywhere, I

knew you were down here hiding. Yes, but none of the children saw you come down

here, did they? Oh, no.

Oh, good. I waited till they were feeding, and as soon as they started,

just grabbed the only pizza with black olives, anchovies, and sausage, sneaked

out the back door, walked around to the front of the house, and came in through

the entrance to your office. You are a genius, and I...

because I married you.

If you think we should tell the kids we're down here.

Are you drunk?

Dr. Huxtable, are you in there?

Alvin.

Dr. Huxtable?

Alvin, I'm in here with a patient right now. I'm getting...

because, see, the woman is going to deliver any second now. So you have to

back upstairs wherever you are.

Eddie was going to give me a ride home in his car, but he can't because your

is blocking his car in the driveway.

Oh, that's nothing. I can just give you the keys to my car. You can move it.

Well, we already tried that. Sandra got a hold of your extra keys and tried to

start it up, but nothing happened.

Well, why don't you push it into a parking space, and then I'll have my

look at it tomorrow.

Your mechanic works on Sunday? That's right. We better move that car right

I'm really sorry about this, Dr. Huxtable.

Oh.

So this is where the anchovy, black olive, and sausage pizza went.

Mind if I just... I've stayed too long.

Gentlemen.

Hi, Ms. Huxtable. Hi, Ms. Huxtable.

Hi, Dr. Huxtable. Hi, Dr. Huxtable. Are you all wearing my clothes?

That's good, Dr. Huxtable. Thank you.

Then we all went home and got changed.

How's the car, Mrs. Huxtable? Oh, it's fine. Everything's fixed.

Well, since you all are dressed up and looking smooth, I guess you're going

someplace, aren't you?

Vanessa and I are going to a school dance.

It's not a formal, but we like to look good.

Sandra and I are taking Rudy to see the Alvin Ailey Dance Company. And Eddie,

are you and Denise going out? Yes, ma 'am.

I guess I better go check on everyone.

Okay. You know, when my girls were little and I'd hold them in my arms, I

knew that they were date boys, you know, but I never figured they would be this

handsome. Thank you.

You know, that's the way life goes, Dr. Huckabee.

You never know what's going to happen. And then when it does happen, you look

back on the way you thought it would happen and say, that's not how I thought

would happen, but it's right.

There you go.

Hey!

No, no, no, no, no. Come here. Come here.

Now, you know this is a special occasion.

Yeah. You know I want to see this.

So turn around.

Yes, I think a handshake is in order for this. And I hope you have a wonderful

time. Thanks, Dad.

Now, wait, wait, wait, wait. I also think that we should have, instead of

since this is so special, we should have ten.

All right.

No, no.

No, no. Ten.

No, no, no, no. Come on, drop it. Let me see it.

Let me see it. Come on.

Lower it.

Let me see yours.

Let me see it. Let me see it.

Used to do that myself when I went to the dances, you know, and you had to be

older to get in.

You should take the mascara pencil, put it down, make the mustache.

Here they are. Here they are. Dad, Dad, Dad. Please don't say anything, Dad.

Please don't say anything. Dad, I'll do anything for you. I never said anything.

I never said, huh?

I'll do anything.

No,

no, no, no, no. You know me. I know you. Please don't say anything.

You promised. No, I didn't promise anything, but I don't have to promise.

the father.

No, no, no, no, no. I have to meet the young ladies.

So bring the young ladies in, please.

Please bring them in.

This is my dad, Dr. Huxtable.

This is Tracy, and this is Linda.

Tracy, how are you? Hi. And Linda, how are you? Nice to meet you. Well, I must

tell you that you're going out with some very manly men.

Oh, yes. We're going to be late, Dad. No, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait. I

wanted to tell you that.

There was a time when I went out and did things to go to dances, and I used to

take... Dad, we have to go now. No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, the one

thing I wanted to say... All right, well, go ahead. But just have a good

hope it doesn't rain on your face.

Wow! Look at all these beautiful people. Step over here. I want to take a

picture. Hurry up. Oh, well, Dad, we don't want to be late.

All right, let's take a picture. How do I look?

Good. How do I look? Good. How do I look? Good. What about me? Good.

How about me?

Good. How do I look? Good. Denise, come on.

Hurry up. I want to take a picture. Oh, you people look so good. How do I look?

Good.

All right, everybody, say, pneumonoids.

Pneumonoids. Ah.

All right. Now, this is something I will cherish the rest of my life. Now, all

of you, get out.

Good night, Dr. Oswald. Good night. Good night.

to sit here in my house.

Oh, it's so wonderful, dear.

And read my paper.

Of course, by this time now, this is not news.

Mind if I turn on the TV?

You may turn on our TV.

Thanks.

Cricket begins to gather small sticks and blades of grass, which he uses to

build a huff -like nest.

In this hut, the mating will take place.

To lure the female into the hut, the cricket rubs his hind legs together,

producing a loud crackling sound.

Although irritating to nearby villagers, to the female sand cricket, it is an

alluring, seductive love song.

Drawn to the hut, the female enters shyly at first.

But once inside, the male courts her with a ritualistic mating dance.

Then mating begins.

As the mating process nears completion, a curious thing happens. The female

flips the male over, pins him down, and eats him alive.

Leaving only the male's legs behind, the female backs out

of the hut.

knocks it down and dances on top of it.

The Cosby Show is taped in front of a live studio audience.