Original subtitles

God, gross. Don't you ever get tired of that gag?

No, because you fall for it every time.

You got you ready for the big Shakespeare test tomorrow? We're not

You're not?

That was a hard play to read.

We're not reading the play.

How are you going to take a test on Macbeth if you haven't read it? Easy.

getting the album.

There's an album?

Yeah. These English guys made a record of it. There's no music. They just read

it. When Mr. Perkins assigned the play two weeks ago... We went down to the

library and put our names in a waiting list for the record.

Yeah, we're picking it up today after school.

And tonight, we're going to sit back, relax, and listen our way to a name.

Hey, I wish I knew they had Macbeth on our record.

Took me a week to read it.

Later, fellas.

See ya.

CPL, did you hear that? A week to read the play. I told you we were doing the

right thing. Yeah.

She's a double burger.

No, no.

Deluxe burger. With the word.

I've never seen her before. She must be new. New and improved.

I'm going to go talk to her. No.

You can't just go up to a deluxe burger.

You have to have something interesting to talk about.

I'll talk about me.

I saw her first. Well, fine. Then you go talk to her about me.

Hey. Her life is tough.

Are you having some trouble with your lock?

Yeah, I can't get it open.

Let me try.

I am pretty good at these things.

All right, here's my combination.

Are you new here?

Yeah, my family just moved in from Chicago.

Oh, Chicago.

Yeah, I've heard it's pretty nice there.

Yeah, it is nice.

That's what I've heard.

You all having some problems?

Sorry, it won't open.

Well, maybe you should just go to the administration office and get a new

locker. That's a good idea, thanks. I'll show you where it is. That's right, I

know where it is.

What's your name?

Teresa. Mine's Theo.

Hi, Theo. I'm Cockroach.

Cockroach?

Well, my real name is Walter, but I prefer Cockroach. Nice to meet you.

And, Theo, I really appreciate your help.

Anytime.

Did you hear what she said to me?

Uh, Theo, I really appreciate your help.

So?

So, I mean, that's what she said.

What she meant was, Theo...

Welcome to my life.

Hi, Mommy. We're back.

Ruby, stop right there. Do you see what you're doing?

What? You're making puddles. Please take your boots off and leave them by the

door. Okay.

You have fun sledding? Yes. Daddy got on, too.

He did?

Are you all right?

No.

You're making puddles.

Oh, I'm sorry. Here, come here. Now, you go downstairs and take those wet things

off, all right? Okay. Okay.

I subvert you.

Subvert mommy.

I subvert you. Thank you very much.

When you're finished, you can have some hot cocoa.

With lots of marshmallows.

Did you put a candy bar in it? No.

Okay.

What happened?

I'm old.

I watched the children, and I stood there like a father, smiling, and the

were going down the hill on the sleds.

And all of a sudden, I started to remember when I was a kid and how I used

it and how I used to run with the sled in my hand and keep it from banging onto

this one knee. You know, it's the way you have to run, so you bring your legs

up. So I said, honey, can Dad do one one time?

And she said, I don't, Dad, you don't know. I said, look, when I was a kid,

then all these kids stood around me acting like I didn't know what I was

And so then, of course, I really decided to show them. So I got back about 10

feet, and I remembered, and I ran with the thing beside me, and my legs started

going, and it was running real fast. And then I put it down, and I hit

the sled.

And, well,

my stomach is much bigger than it used to be.

I knocked the wind out of myself.

And the sled went that way, and all I remember, I woke up and little children

had made, they'd built snow all around me.

I think you deserve extra marshmallows.

Oh, thank you. I'd like it in my tea, though.

Oh, you want tea?

Yes, please. All right. And would you put a candy bar in it? No.

But if you go and lie down on the couch, I'll bring you some tea, and then I'll

give you a rubdown.

Yeah?

Just tell me where it hurts.

You know how much damage a snowball can do to a window?

Dad, it wasn't our fault. You didn't throw a snowball at them first.

Jeff is up to bit.

Oh, no!

What? I dropped the Shakespeare record.

You gotta go up there and get it.

Hey, hey, hey, sit down. Stay away from the window.

Now, look, look, you go man the door. Go ahead.

I bet they won't throw them at you.

Please, Dr. Huxtable.

Step out of the way.

This is Dr.

One more game of Taco Hoops. We have to listen to Macbeth.

Gonna ask Teresa out? Thinking about it. If it doesn't work out, you can always

point her in the direction of a real man.

Do you know any?

Hey, maybe we could double date. You, Teresa, me, and Denise.

Denise Huxtable?

Yeah, your sister is a major burger.

Get out of here!

I'm talking double supreme deluxe burger with french fries on the side.

Get out of your mind!

We got to get started.

What's your rush?

Loosen up a little. One more game of tackle hoops, then we'll study.

You're all right.

Cliff,

you were magnificent.

That's right. When those little turkeys saw that I meant business, they went

heading for the hills. I didn't even have to throw one snowball.

Well, I did see you throw one at that little child you hit in the back as he

running away.

I wanted to see if I still had it.

came home with Theo.

Well, why do they have to get together and try to tear the house down? Because

they're boys, Terry.

15 -year -old boys. You don't understand.

15 -year -old boys get together, and the first thing they do is they start to

talk about girls.

See, then that gets them all excited.

Then they don't know what to do with each other, so they start throwing each

other up against the wall.

He moved the basket.

Really?

Aren't you guys supposed to be studying?

We're taking a break.

So you have been studying?

No, we thought we'd take a break first.

Let me explain to you how this house was built.

There's only about six inches of wood and plaster between you and a 12 -foot

drop to the living room.

And you are less likely to fall if you are studying.

Right. Okay.

Gotcha. All right.

By the way, the front of the Huxtable house is now free of desperados.

Come on, we better get started.

Yeah, put on the first record.

Hey.

The Tragedy of Macbeth by William Shakespeare.

Act one, scene one. Scotland.

Enter three witches.

All is done when the battle's lost and won.

That will be on the set of sun. Where's the taste? Upon the heat.

There to meet wind.

They speak in English.

What's a garlic?

I don't know what's a... We better skip to the middle.

Good idea. I don't think they're going to ask us about the beginning anyway.

If it were done when it is done, then twirl well it were done quickly.

If the assassination could travel up the consequence and touch with his

surcease.

Cockroach? Yeah.

We were in deep trouble.

Wow, that's amazing.

Well, I couldn't have said that.

Well, I don't know what I would have said, but I wouldn't have said that.

Vanessa, you have to get off the phone. This is an emergency.

Hold on, Janet. What's the emergency?

We have to call the New York Shakespeare Company.

Why? Because we have to see Big Beth tonight.

Um, Janet, can I call you back?

were upstairs and we were listening to the record of Macbeth, but we don't

understand the word of it. And we figured if we went to see the play, we'd

what the actors were doing and know what it's all about.

Is this broadcast?

Yes, tomorrow.

Well, did you read the play? No.

Why not?

Vanessa, I really don't need a criticism right now.

Fine.

Okay, but I'm coming back with the phone in five minutes. Here it is. Here it

is. The New York Shakespeare Company. Great. What's the number?

555 -7218.

Hurry up. Okay, okay. It's ringing. It's ringing.

Hello? Are you doing Macbeth tonight?

You're not?

The taming of the shrew?

Well, is it anything like Macbeth?

Oh. Well, do you know of any place where they'll be doing Macbeth tonight?

Are you sure?

Okay, thanks.

What's up?

Hi.

Wait a minute.

Denise. Yeah. You studied Macbeth, right? Sure.

Did you read it?

Yeah. Tell us about it.

What do you mean?

The story. What happens?

Didn't you read the play?

Why is everybody criticizing me?

Please, just tell me what happened. All right. Take it easy.

This guy, Macbeth, he's a soldier, right? Wants to be king.

So he talks it over with his wife.

And they decide to kill the king. And he dies.

And then the king...

The king's son comes back with a bunch of his friends, and right before Macbeth

gets it, he gives a fine speech about how life's meaningless because we're all

gonna die anyway.

Got it, thanks.

I really like your hair that way.

Now, tell us all about the symbolism.

You know, if you knew we were gonna have a test on this, why didn't you just

read the play?

Because it's impossible to understand.

Well, then you know what you need.

What? Cleveland notes. What's that?

Well, they're study guides that help you... You know, they tell you what's

happening, who the characters are, and what the symbolism is. So when you read

along with the play, it explains everything.

Well, it sounds like if you have the cleaning notes, you won't need to read

play. Well, they don't recommend that.

Where do we get these cleaning notes? They sell them at Reiner's Bookstore

near Brooklyn College.

Ooh, cockroach.

I bet some great burgers hang out there. Yeah, college burgers.

What's a burger?

It's a good -looking girl. You call them burgers?

objects were people.

You know, what if I were to call you a Clydesdale?

Look at that Clydesdale. He's a 12 -wagon puller.

Wait, Denise!

How did we get to run this bookstore?

If you want to know, find yourself another burger.

Clyde Dale.

These cleaning notes are great. McBeth summarized in 12 pages.

Yep, I finished reading the play already.

Me too.

Can you believe we're done and it's only 9 o 'clock?

We should write these people a letter and thank them. Yeah.

We ain't gonna ace this test and bring home beans for the semester. You know

Hey, listen to this.

Also available in Cleveland Notes, Julius Caesar. We're supposed to get

our junior year. All right, Cleveland.

They also have the history of America, the history of civilization, chemistry,

physics. They got everything. I said we bought the whole set.

We can get through college in one year.

I wasn't even thinking of higher education until I found this. We can

everything.

Hey, I think I'm going to go home and watch some TV.

Yeah, I'll go to the insurance and watch it.

Hey, Mom.

Good night, Mrs. Huxley.

You finished studying, Walter?

Yep. Watch TV?

Oh, you ready for your test tomorrow?

Definitely. See you later, dear. See you, cockroach. Walter, what's this?

What? This. What is this?

Oh, that's cleaning notes. It helps us study.

Oh.

Well, I'm on my way to the hospital, too.

Hey, Dad. Hey, how you doing? Do you remember this?

Cleaning notes.

Cleaning notes? No, sure I remember this.

You know, kids in our school used to read this when they didn't want to read

assignment. That's right. Of course, they found out they weren't quite as

prepared for the test as they thought they were. Well, I'm sure that none of

children would do that.

Never. Never.

And I'm sure none of their friends would do that.

Well, of course. Of course not, because if you read the Cleland notes instead of

the play, you'd know the characters' names and some main events, but there's

some very subtle points that you would miss, like what Lady Macbeth meant when

she said, screw your courage to the sticking face and will not fail.

Now, you know what important event took place after she said that. Yes, indeed

it did happen then.

Mm -hmm.

Well, I certainly am glad.

that I did not graduate from the Cleveland School of Medicine.

And I'm sure that my patients and my insurance company are happy that I did

graduate from the Cleveland School of Medicine. I will see you all later. Have

good time. See you, Dad.

All right. Bye -bye.

Not a fit night out there for man or beast, but I'm going to deliver these

babies.

that tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps at this petty pace from day to

day. Was that from Macbeth?

It couldn't have been. It wasn't in the Cleland notes.

Are you worried about the test?

No. Are you worried? No.

Think we should, uh, read the plan?

No.

Now, Cliff, this is where we should go tonight.

El Rio de la Plata Restaurante.

El Rio de la Plata Restaurante. Yes.

Taste of Argentina nestled in the heart of Greenwich Village.

Authentic Nouvelle -style South American cuisine.

El Rio de la Plata Restaurante.

They have strolling guitarists.

El Rio de la Plata Restaurante.

Stop it. Hi.

Hi. How was school? Good.

How was the test?

Not bad. I think I did okay.

Really? Yeah. I mean, you know, I was worried when I heard you and Dad talking

last night.

But half the questions on the test were covered by Cleveland Notes.

What about the other half?

Well, I recognized some of the names. So I think I wrote down some answers that

made pretty good sense.

How did Walter do?

Well, he was smart even when he left the room.

So you just got by.

Better than that.

I think I got a C. So you must be very happy.

Yeah.

I think I did pretty well considering I didn't read the play.

Do you ever plan to read the play?

Mom, that test is history.

But Theo, you haven't taken your last test on Macbeth. I haven't? You see,

you're going to read Macbeth and you're not going to go anyplace or do anything

until you do. And then you're going to take another test given by me.

Are you serious, Dad?

She's serious.

I am very serious.

Now, the test will be all essay. It will cover Acts 1 through 5 and footnotes,

and I promise you there will not be one question from Cleland Notes.

But, Mom, this weekend, I have a day with this new girl at school. You better

hurry up and get started, then.

Okay. And I know that Shakespeare's language can be very difficult to

understand, so if you have any questions, you want to discuss anything,

free. I'll be in my room forever.

I like your style.

Cliff, I haven't read Macbeth in over 20 years. I only remember a couple of

passages.

Well, you better start reading then.

Come on, Cliff, I need your help.

No. Oh, come on, Cliff, please. No, no. Oh, come on and listen. All you have to

do is read the first two acts. I'll read the last three. No, listen to me.

Whenever I used to read it, I'll go from the... I spit on myself.

Cliff, please.

We could read Macbeth. We could snuggle up under the covers and read Macbeth,

and it could take all night.

Really?

And I'll be Lady Macbeth.

And I'll be the big bad wolf.

There is no big bad wolf in Macbeth. There will be when I read it.

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