Original subtitles

I'm on my way down to the community center, okay?

Okay. All right.

So, uh, have a nice day.

Yeah, okay. Well, what are you gonna do?

Nothing.

Now, what are you smiling about?

Well, you remember when we went to dinner to celebrate the anniversary of

day you proposed to me?

Yeah, that was a great dinner, and you paid.

Well, ever since then, I've been thinking about that sweater that I wore

night you proposed.

Do you still have that?

I was wondering if I could still wear it.

Oh, dear. It's probably too big for you now.

Do you remember what color the sweater was?

Yeah, it was, um... Yeah, it, uh... It was, uh...

Oh...

It was purple.

Purple sweater it was.

Wrong. It was white.

White. It was white and it had little things across. It was really, really

It was lovely.

White sweater.

You remember what you were wearing?

Oh, yeah. I had a purple sweater.

But you don't remember.

I do remember. I remember what I had on. I had a purple sweater on, dear.

Purple. You were not wearing a purple sweater. What were you wearing? I had...

Yeah, you're right. It was... What was it?

It was a green tweed jacket.

There you go.

There you go. Green tweed jacket.

How come I remember everything and you don't? Well, it isn't that I don't. I

mean, I remember... I remember the important things. I mean, I don't have

remember everything.

Okay, what did you say when you gave me the ring?

Shoot, you know what I said.

I said...

because I think that you're the most beautiful creature that ever walked the

face of this earth.

Wrong. No.

What did you say?

Oh, oh, I got you. You mean, what did I say? What did you say? No, no, no. See,

I misunderstood. See, that's what I was thinking.

What did you say? No, that's what I was thinking. What did you say?

Wonderful person.

On the face of the earth, would you take this ring?

Hi, Dad.

I'm just having a talk with your father.

No, this woman is trying to strangle me.

What did you do?

I made a mistake, and I proposed to this woman.

Okay, Dad, well, if you ever make it out, can I talk to you before you go to

community center?

Yes. Okay, I'll be downstairs.

I don't remember one single thing about that night. I'm going to burn this

sweater. You don't have to burn anything. I told you, I don't have to

everything. I remember the important things. Ask me another question. What

playing on the car radio when you proposed?

When I proposed?

On the car radio?

Yes. Ray Charles, I Can't Stop Loving You, 1962, sold 14 million copies.

Now deal with that.

to talk to Dad?

What are you going to talk about?

Just things.

What things?

They're private.

Tell me.

No. Tell me. It's none of your business.

I know what you're going to talk about.

Oh, really? What?

I'm not telling.

Hey.

Hi. Are you in a hurry?

Sort of. Well, then, I should probably wait because this is really important.

No, no. I don't have to be on the community center for a half hour. What

I'm going to wait because your mind's probably on your class.

and I need you to be here. No, no, I'm here.

I'm here. Really here? Yeah, here. Let me show you how here I am. See, I'm

and you sit down here, and we're all here.

Okay. Okay.

I have a problem.

I have a friend, and she's a really good person. She's really smart and

everything, but I think there's something wrong with her.

You know, physical.

Is this person related to me?

No, it is not me. It is a friend.

All right, go ahead. Okay.

She came to me because she knew that you're a doctor, and she wants to know

she can come see you. Why can't she go see a family doctor?

Well, she doesn't want to go to her family doctor because he may tell her

parents. She doesn't want her parents to know that she's got a problem. Exactly.

Which leaves me thinking of a few possibilities.

I'm just afraid that if you don't see her, she's not going to go to anybody.

Okay. You tell her that I will see her at 8 o 'clock Monday morning.

All right? Thank you.

All right. Fine.

Okay. Go call her. Yeah, what's her name, dear?

Um, she doesn't want me to tell you.

So, 8 o 'clock in the morning, I'm going to meet this girl with no name who

doesn't want her parents to know that she has a physical problem.

Right. Okay.

Denise? Yes?

See you 8 o 'clock Monday.

Just checking.

So, you all must, you all must please do your

exercises. No, no, come on.

Moderately do your exercises, please.

Mrs. Quinn.

I hate those prenatal exercises.

I'm not used to exercise. I've always been able to maintain my shape without

exercise at all.

Well,

what I'm wondering is, will I have to do exercise to regain my shape after the

baby? Well, I'm happy to tell you that you will have to do six weeks of

calisthenics.

Mrs. Dubois, how many months are you?

Six months.

I think you're a little overweight there.

Twin. Oh!

No, no, no, no, no, no. I had twins the last time.

Do you think I'll ever get back into shape?

Stay away from your husband.

That concludes whatever just happened here.

And I'll see you all next week. Thank you all so much.

Bye -bye. Bye -bye. Thank you. Bye -bye.

Hi. Hi, can I help you?

Dr. Epstein, you don't know me, but I'm a friend of Denise's.

Yes, Denise says you're not feeling well.

Yeah, that's right. I was just wondering if there was any way that you could see

me today.

Are you pregnant?

No, I'm positive I'm not.

Okay, well, I can call my nurse, and then we can go over to my office. We can

run some tests. I'll be able to tell you what's happening exactly.

Thank you, because I've been feeling a lot worse lately.

How long have you had the problem?

About four weeks.

You've waited four weeks and you haven't said anything to your parents?

No, I can't. Why?

Because if I do, then they'll know I'm not what they think I am. You don't want

your parents to know that you're sexually active?

Believe me, Dr. Huxtable, they would not understand.

I don't know your parents. All I know is if any of my children ever got into

trouble or had a problem and felt they couldn't come to my wife or me, I would

have a fit.

Okay, well, maybe I'll talk to them after I know what's wrong.

Maybe.

Okay, I will. You will? Yeah.

Fine, okay, here we go. Come on.

Come on.

Hi,

Dad.

Where's the rest of the children?

He's over at Peter's, but I think everyone else is here. All right, well,

around them up and bring them all down here.

Who's in trouble? Nobody's in trouble. Just do what I tell you, okay?

Hi, dear. Hi.

How was class?

Fine. Can I ask you something?

Sure. Do you think that our children tell us everything?

Who's in trouble?

Well, nobody's in trouble.

I mean, just come up from the office. Now, the young girl comes in.

scared about what she might have.

You see, it turns out all she has is a mild bladder infection, which can be

cleared up in a couple of weeks.

Lovely girl, intelligent, beautiful, could have been one of our children.

So, Cliff, what's the point?

Well, the point is that she didn't tell her parents, and she let it go four

weeks. Now, the question is, do we have the kind of children who never get into

any kind of trouble whatsoever, or do we have children who get into trouble and

don't tell us?

Well, I would say a little of both, but... I think if our kids were in

trouble, they would come to us.

Look, I told Vanessa to get all the children downstairs. We're going to have

meeting. Come on. Now? Yes. Okay, I'll be right there.

Dad, whatever it is, I didn't do it. No, no, no.

It has nothing to do with what you did.

Well, if this is about the family vacation, I have a few ideas.

It is not about the vacation.

Then what's it about?

It's about us.

I want you all to know.

that if you ever have a problem or if you ever get into any kind of trouble,

please feel free, no matter how bad you think it is, to come to your mother or

me, and we will try to help you. Okay. Okay.

No, no, no, no.

Wait a minute. Sit down.

Isn't the talk over? No, the talk is not over. I was hoping that this would be

the beginning of a discussion.

What are we discussing?

About what I just said.

I like what you just said. Yeah, Dad, I think you said it very well. I'm not

asking for a critique of what I said.

What your father probably wants to know is how you feel about what he said.

We feel good about it.

Okay, now, come on, guys. Sit down. Come on, now.

Now, this is serious now.

Your father and I want to know that you feel you can really come to us.

Yeah. About anything?

Yeah.

Okay. Okay. Let me give you an example. All right?

Let's say that one of you became pregnant.

Yeah.

No, no, no. I'm serious.

I know it's not me.

let's say it's you.

Me? Let's say that you are pregnant. Okay?

Now, what are you going to do?

Well, first, I want to find out who did it.

You didn't find out.

Now, what would you do?

Could you guys help me on this one?

Don't look at me.

Don't even think of looking at me.

No, no, no. Come on, come on. Help your brother now.

Well, I guess I'd be scared.

Wouldn't I?

Definitely. Very definitely.

Well, Dad, if I was scared, I would probably go to a friend first.

If you become pregnant, you would go to cockroach?

I know I said be honest.

I'm just amazed at the fact that you would go to Cockroach and not come to

Well, Dad, I would be afraid we'd get mad.

Mad?

I'm not going to get mad.

Yeah. I wouldn't get mad.

Dad, you can say that now because it hasn't happened.

Yeah, but I'm telling you that I wouldn't get mad. Now, when I say I

get mad, I mean I wouldn't get mad. Do you understand?

There is nothing more important to us than your health and well -being.

Well, sit up there and tell me I'll get mad.

And if you've got a problem, we want to know about it so we can help you.

I mean, I know when I'm mad about it.

Okay, Dad.

Okay what?

In the first place, let's get things straightened out.

Dogs get mad.

Human beings get angry.

Okay, Dad, okay. So if you promise that you're not going to get angry, maybe we

should give you some examples.

Go ahead.

Okay. Say Vanessa comes to you and she tells you that she's been secretly

a boy who's 17.

Oh!

Way to go, Vanessa.

Well, first of all, first of all, I think that I would not get angry because

came to us. No, we wouldn't get angry, but we would get serious, very serious.

And we would sit Miss Vanessa down and have a long talk.

Dad, now say I took the keys to your car and drove downtown with the guy, you

know, to get some burgers.

See,

first of all, you don't have a license.

I know.

But what if I did it anyway?

And when I brought it back, it had a ding in it.

I think that this is a good example for... for us

to discuss.

I would feel very, very comfortable with my son.

I'm serious.

You all think you know me, but you really don't know me. I would really

out with you so that we could get the car fixed.

Right.

at Jeanette's house a couple weeks ago? Yes, I do.

Okay, well, um, I didn't really spend the night at Jeanette's. I spent it at

Tommy Watkins'. You what?

Why didn't Mr.

and Mrs. Watkins call us and tell us about it?

They were on vacation.

They were?

You spent the night at Tommy Watkins' house and his parents were not there?

Yeah.

do anything are you angry

What we have to understand is that we're going to get angry.

But what we're hoping for is that you all would still come to us

if you have any problems as opposed to going to other people.

We love you. And I don't think that anybody can care for you

with the love that we have.

No one cares more than your mother and me.

Okay? Okay.

Well, I am certainly glad we had this little talk.

Yeah. And now I'm going upstairs.

I'm going to call Jeanette's mother. I was kidding!

Jeanette, let me see you for a minute.

Yeah.

What's up? Uh, I was...

I was really interested in what you were saying about the car.

About a couple months ago, I parked the car one morning right beside the tree.

Outside. Came in, and next day I came back and I noticed that the car

had been moved about five feet. I couldn't understand it until you were

this little story.

No, Dad.

That must have been the time when your car was blocking Mr. Davidson's car. Mm

-hmm. See, because he came to the door early one morning and said he wanted the

car moved.

Now, I didn't want to wake you. Yeah. So I took the keys, unlocked the door, and

pushed it five feet.

You didn't drive the car for some burgers with the fellows in it? No, Dad.

have never driven your car.

Okay. Thank you.

Except once.

When was that?

It was the night when I drove Denise down to Tommy Watkins' house.

Gotcha, Dad.

I was ever this small. I remember the first day I put that on you. You hated

You pulled at it. You cried. You chewed at the sleeve.

Then why did you make me wear it? It was cold outside.

And you looked so adorable.

Oh, look, Dad.

All right, if I take this back to school with me, I want to hang it on my wall.

Sure, if you promise not to chew on it, please.

I promise.

Clear? Come here.

Oh, no, not another quiz, dear. See, I found something, and I want to see if

remember what it is. All right, go ahead. Just start choking me.

What?

I know exactly what it is.

You used to wear this every time you sang in the church choir.

I bet you it is. Ah, it is!

And you also wore this at the church choir picnic. The church choir picnic

you and I drove down to when we were very teenager -y.

And the church picnic that we never went to that we drove right on

past and went down to the river and we had a wonderful picnic and we

hugged.

You didn't make it to the choir picnic.

That's right, because you were fresh.

That's right. Did you ever tell your parents?

No, indeed.

Did you tell yours? Oh, no.

No need to tell them that.

But in light of what we just told our children, I think that we should call

parents and tell them what we did.

Now, parents, that was a long time ago. But that really doesn't matter. We

really should call him and tell him what we did. And I think that you should go

first.

You gotta be kidding me.

I tell you, you're the one who made this up. You called your folks.

No, you should go first because you drove.

You rode in the car.

Well, you talked me into it.

No.

Come on, Cliff, go call your mother and tell her what we did. Go on. Call my

mother? Yes.

I don't believe I'm doing this.

You'll feel better afterwards. I will?

Mm -hmm.

Hello, Mom?

Hi, this is Cliff.

Yeah, how are you feeling?

Uh, listen, Mom...

back to the church choir picnic well i want to tell you that claire and i

never went to that picnic we we drove on past and we we

parked down by the river mom and and we laid out some food and and then

mother wants to talk to you.

show is taped in front of a live studio audience.